08x08 - So You Want to Be a Rock Star?

[bunniefuu]

♪ Now the world don't move
to the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you,
might not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along comes two,
they got nothing but their jeans ♪

♪ But they go
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you
got not a lot, so what? ♪

♪ They'll have theirs,
and you'll have yours ♪

♪ And I'll have mine ♪

♪ And together we'll be
fine because it takes ♪

♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪

♪ Yes it does, it take diff'rent
strokes to move the world ♪

(upbeat music)

(applauding)

- Wow, look at her.

She's a nine.

- An eight.

- Eight and a half, easy.

- Four and a half tops.

- Dudley, when a fox walks
by we giver her eights and nines

and you give her a four.

Are your eyes okay?

- Sure they are, but
I think I'm a lot better

at guessing shoe
sizes than you guys.

- Well, it's time for love b*ating
Jackson to make his move.

Hey, check her out,
the transfer student.

I've had my eye on her for
six weeks and three days.

- She's an eight and a half.

- She's a 26.

I dream about her every night.

Last night I dreamed that
she dropped Rambo for me.

- Go over there, you'll be
back here in 10 seconds.

- Eight and a half.

- Four.

- All right guys, cool it.

Just watch.

I have an opening
line that's never missed.

Mainly because I
haven't tried it yet.

Hi there, Beverly?

My name's Arnold Jackson.

We're practically in
the same English class

except you have
Mrs. Pomoler at 10

and I have Mr. Wilks at 1:30.

- Well pleased to meet
you practically classmate.

- So you come here often?

- A lot.

Isn't it a great place?

- Yeah, I bet you love to
dance and meet great guys.

- Sure.

But I really come to
watch the musicians.

They're so sexy.

Don't you agree?

- Yeah.

You know, I'm a musician.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I don't mean to toot
my own horn, but I play

the sweetest music
you've ever heard.

- Well I've always had a
thing for saxophone players.

- That's what I play.

- What a coincidence.

Hey, are you in a band?

- A band?

Oh, sure of course, hey.

I'm in a band.

- Wow, what's the band's name?

- Uh, the band's name is

the Frozen Heads.

- The Frozen Heads?

What a great name.

Hey you know, I'd
love to see you play

your saxophone sometime.

- Yeah, I'm sure you would.

But we're so busy
laying the tracks

and fixing the wax and picking
up sticks and mixing the mix.

That's musician talk.

- I bet you're good.

Hey, why don't you play
here at the next amateur night?

- Well I'd love to, but
there's a lot of bands here.

You know, they wanna
play at the club because it's a

popular, there's
a long waiting list.

- No problem, I know the owner.

- You do?

- I'll set it up.

- You will?

- Two weeks from
tonight, the Frozen Heads.

I'm really looking
forward to this, Arnold.

- Yeah, me too.

(laughing)

- Hey it's a levicious
wrap by Jackson.

A left to the body,
a right to the head.

A jab control, he's
down, the Jab's down.

One, two, three.

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

For you, Willis.

- Saved by the bell.

You won't be so
lucky next time, buddy.

Oh, I'll take it in my room.

- You know, you might
learn a lot more if you were

sparring with an
actual opponent.

I was a pretty fair middle
weight when I was in college.

- Me and you?

You're kidding, dad.

- Why would I be kidding?

- No reason and it might be fun.

Don't worry dad, I'll
take it easier on you.

- Save that talk for
the weigh in Jackson.

- All right, guys.

- [Phillip] Hi Arnold.

- Hi dad.

- Hi Mr. Drummond.
- Hi Mr. Drummond.

- [Phillip] Hi boys.

- Dad, is it all right if
we practice in here?

- Why wouldn't it be?

- Because we're loud
and not real good.

- I prefer classical
music so I'll be upstairs.

- Okay guys, let's get set up.

Today is a great day for us.

- Arnold, I think this
is a pretty dumb idea.

- Awe, come on.

You guys are professional
musicians already.

Dudley's in a school band.

- He's third symbols, Arnold.

- Charlie, you've played
the bass guitar for years.

And Robbie, he filled
in on the lead guitar

at the Melman bar mitzvah.

- And you?

- I'm a fast learner.

Look don't worry.

All we have to do is
play a couple of songs

and we'll be mobbed by women.

Me and Beverly and you
guys with the left overs.

- At the bar mitzvah all I got
was a hug from Mrs. Melman

and she got chopped
liver on my glasses.

- Wow Arnold, this is neat.

You really have a band?

- That's right, squirt.

- Can I be in it?

I play guitar.

I sing.

And old ladies like to
pinch me on the cheeks

and say I'm cute.

- Sorry Sam, we're not
playing in any bingo parlors.

Now b*at it.

- Okay, Arnold Jackson.

You'll be sorry.

When I become a big
rock star I'm not gonna

share my groupies with you.

- Well now that the
little pest is gone

we can get started.

- Oh by the way, who's
gonna be doing the singing?

- I can sing.

- You?

- Sure, listen.

♪ Home, home on the range ♪

♪ Where the deer and the... ♪

- Sam.
- Sam.

♪ Oh but don't you step
on my blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Well you can do anything ♪

♪ But stay off of my
blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Hit it sax man ♪

(playing sax badly)

- Well, what do you think dad?

- Well I'll tell you
Arnold, see I come from

another generation.

I don't really understand
today's music.

- Well it's just like yesterday's
music only not boring.

- Well thanks for
clearing that up for me.

Okay could we
call it a night, fellas?

It's way past Sam's bedtime.

- But Mr. D, rock and
roll never goes to bed.

- On school nights it does.

- Goodnight guys.

- Goodnight Sam.
- Goodnight Sam.

- Good practice guys.

In two weeks the Frozen
Heads will be on everybody's lips.

- Arnold, you know I've
always encouraged you

to take music lessons.

- Oh that's all right.

- And that offer is still open.

- Ah, that's all right dad.

I think I'm working out
pretty well on my own.

(laughing)

- I know you are, but I
happen to know this musician.

He plays at the Crestland Club.

He's been playing, I
don't know, 50 years.

Maybe he could help you
polish up your technique.

(boys desperately yelling)

- All right, I guess one
lesson couldn't hurt.

- I'll set it up.

Goodnight boys.

- Goodnight.

- I'll set it up.

(knocking)

(laughing)

(knocking)

(cheering)

Hello.

- Mr. Drummond?

- Yes.

- Bill Kingsley.

- Pardon?

- Junior, my father
couldn't make it.

- Oh, now come in, come in.

I see the family resemblance.

That earring makes you
look a little like your mother.

- I have her eyes.

And I thought these
shades were wild.

But man, that hat's outrageous.

- Oh.

I was just gonna
do a little sparring

with my older son, Willis.

Please, come in.

Arnold, your teacher's here.

Tell me, have you
been playing very long?

- Well dad says I was born
with a saxophone in my hand.

- Must have been very
painful for your mother.

(laughing)

- Wow dad.

I didn't know you
knew anyone this cool.

- Well, I don't really.

This is Bill
Kingsley Jr., Arnold.

Bill, this is my son Arnold.

- Hi Arnold.

- Hi.

- I'll leave you
guys to go to work.

Would you give my best
to your father, please?

- Sure thing.

Well Arnold, so I
know where to start.

Let's see what
you've learned so far.

- Okay.

Why waste time
when all I have to do

is polish up the rough edges.

- That's great.

But have you tried playing?

- That's the rough edge.

- Well don't sweat the details.

You see, the saxophone
is like a woman.

Play her wrong
and you get nothing

but squawks and screeches.

But handle her right,
and you'll be making

beautiful music for
a long, long time.

- Well all I have to do
is make beautiful music

by next Friday.

- Let's start from
the beginning.

Stand straight so you
can get plenty of air

into the diaphragm.

Hold it like this,
firm but flexible.

Mouthpiece halfway in.

Bite gently, breath deep.

Cheeks firm.

Now play a scale.

(upbeat music)

(saxophone screeching)

- Uh oh, look.

Whoa, whoa hey.

Great set, great set.

Aye uh, let's call
it quits for today.

We don't wanna get stale.

Charlie, your last
eight bars were flat.

- I'll flatten his eight bars.

- Charlie!

- I'm sorry you stopped playing.

I really wanted to hear more.

- Well you know us pros.

We have to save our lips
for the show and other things.

So can I buy you a
soda or a condominium?

- Anything you say, music man.

- All right, it just
comes naturally.

Musically speaking, I
am the engine on the

soul train of life.

Good Sam, see you later.

- Hey, great set
guys, great set.

You sounded great.

- Thanks man, Sam
we gotta talk to you

about something important.

- Yeah, you have talent.

- And you count the four great.

- Well we want
you to be our leader.

- Wow, leader?

Maybe I can change our
name to the Frozen Red Heads.

- Maybe.

But as leader, there's
also responsibility.

- Responsible?

I'm responsible.

I bring two pencils
to school everyday.

- Yeah, we knew you were
the right man for the job.

- Yeah, and there's
one little problem

that you're gonna
help us out with.

- Really?

What do I have to do.

- Fire Arnold.

(applauding)

- Ready to try a
couple rounds, Willis?

- You know it, dad.

I'm a lean, mean
fighting machine.

Sure, you can handle me dad?

- I'll put it in your terms.

I'm a rough, tough
fighting person.

We didn't have to
rhyme in my day.

All we had to do was box.

Let's see a little action.

- Okay dad, action you want?

Action you'll get.

Come on.

(laughing)

Dad, you hit me in the nose.

- Willis, I hardly touched you.

- I know that.

Man, the heck to with that.

Girls like my face to
where it is gorgeous.

You know, there must be
sports you don't get hit in.

Dad.

- Hi Sam.

- Mr. D, we need to
have a man to man talk.

- Oh boy, that sounds serious.

- Sit down.

- Okay.

- Sit down.

- What's up, Sam?

- The guys made me the
leader of the Frozen Heads.

- So now you're the head head.

Congratulations, that's great.

- Now they want
me to fire Arnold.

- Oh, I see.

I guess it makes
you feel kind of bad

to think of having
to do that, huh?

- Yeah, but I feel almost as
bad as when I hear him play.

- You know, this sudden
interest in music of Arnold's.

If I know him, there's a
girl in there somewhere.

- You're amazing, Mr. D.

I think her name is Beverly.

- Sam, you really
have to help Arnold.

Embarrassing yourself in
front of your friends is bad.

But embarrassing yourself
in front of a girl is much worse.

Why don't you speak to
him honestly about this?

I mean, he's almost an adult.

Let him make the decision.

- How do I do that?

- Well just tell it
to him straight.

Take a deep breath,
screw up your courage.

- Hey, this horn
I've got is really hot.

Beverly's mine and
everything's gonna be just fine.

- Hi Arnold.

- Hey, Sam.

Today is the best day in
the history of the world so far.

- Well Arnold.

The guys made me
leader of the Frozen Heads.

And as leader I have to
fire you because you stink.

- Because I what?

- You stink.

Rhymes with ink,
pink, and blink.

- I know I'm not great,
but I'm not that bad.

- Yes you are.

- Hmm, I don't believe it.

You're gonna fire me.

- Arnold, you're my
brother so I can't do that.

But you really stink.

So you should think
twice about making

a fool out of yourself
in front of Beverly.

(doorbell ringing)

- Oh, hi Mr. Kingsley.

Thanks for coming over.

- Arnold, from the way
you sounded on the phone

I thought you swallowed
your mouthpiece.

- No, no I'm fine.

Look, I want your
honest opinion.

How good am I?

- You have potential.

- Okay, I stink.

Let's say I took
five days of intense,

round the clock lessons.

How good could I be?

- Well with five days
of intense lessons,

you could be a very
bad saxophone player.

- A very bad, that's not good.

- No, that's not good.

- Yeah, my band's
playing Friday night.

- In front of people?

(laughing)

- No, house pets.

Of course, people.

Friends, girls.

- Sorry, I don't know
what to tell you Arnold.

It takes time to become
a good musician.

- But I didn't do this to
become a good musician.

I did it to get girls.

- Who didn't?

- You too?

- Sure.

But I learned to love the music.

Eventually the music became
more important than the girls.

- More important than girls?

- Okay, as important as girls.

- All right, all right.

Almost as important
as the girls.

But the music's
inside me, Arnold.

And I think it's inside you too.

But it takes time to get it out.

- Well I like the music too.

I just don't have the time.

I'm gonna make a fool of myself.

It's not just girls.

It's Beverly, the girl.

She makes me feel
things inside I only feel

when I eat bad fish.

- I think I know a way
to get you out of this.

- Move to another city?

- Now, I know two ways.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
The Factory is proud to present

the Frozen Heads.

♪ Well it's one for the money ♪

♪ Two for the show ♪

♪ Three to get
ready, no go cat, go ♪

♪ But don't you step on
my blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Well you can do anything ♪

♪ But stay off of my
blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Well you can knock me down ♪

♪ Step on my face ♪

♪ Slander my name
all over the place ♪

♪ Do anything you wanna do ♪

♪ But uh-uh honey,
stay off these shoes ♪

♪ But don't you ♪

♪ Step on my blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Well you can do anything ♪

♪ But stay off my
blue suede shoes ♪

(saxophone solo)

♪ Well it's blue, blue,
blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Blue, blue, blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Blue, blue, blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Blue, blue, blue suede shoes ♪

♪ Well you can do anything ♪

♪ But stay off of my
blue suede shoes ♪

(cheering)

- Fantastic, the greatest ever.

What a way to close the show.

Thanks for coming
everybody, please drive safely.

- Well, what do you think?

- You were terrific.

You were right
to save your lips.

- I saved them all right.

- And it's a good thing
too because I can think

of plenty of things
we can do with them.

Is something wrong?

- I can't do this.

- You can't kiss?

- Are you kidding?

Through rain,
sleet, hail and snow

these lips always deliver.

It's just that I can't
continue to lie to you.

That wasn't me playing the sax.

- What?

- It was my teacher
behind the curtain.

- You didn't play any of that?

- Not a note.

I couldn't let you
think I played that well.

You can't build a
relationship on a lie.

- You mean the
one that just ended.

- Awe, come on.

This is from my
heart, I'm being honest.

- How old is your teacher?

- Too old for you.

Look, I'm being sincere here.

This is the part of movie
where I pour out my heart to you

and you see how
sensitive I am and you fall

in love with me anyway.

- Uh, does he have a son?

- I don't know.

What do you care about
that guy so much for?

- He plays a wicked saxophone.

- I will too someday.

- But it won't matter.

- But you said you
like sax players.

- I do, but that doesn't mean
I don't like other people too.

I liked you anyway.

But you lied to me.

Goodbye Arnold.

- You play a pretty good sax.

- Thanks.

- Yeah, and who would
guess that an old guy like you

could play such
great rock and roll.

- Son, just remember.

You're never too
old to rock and roll.

Excuse me, guys.

So how'd you make out?

- She dumped me.

- Same thing happened
to me when I was your age.

I know how you feel.

(playing saxophone)

(applauding)

(playing saxophone)