04x20 - Green Hair

Episode transcripts for the TV Show "Diff'rent Strokes". Aired: November 3, 1978 –; March 7, 1986.*
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Series follows Arnold and Willis Jackson, two African-American boys from Harlem taken in by a rich white Park Avenue businessman and widower, Phillip Drummond, for whom their deceased mother previously worked, and his daughter, Kimberly.
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04x20 - Green Hair

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Now, the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born ♪

♪ He's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got ♪

♪ A special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you got ♪

♪ Not a lot... So what? ♪

♪ They'll have theirs ♪

♪ And you'll have yours ♪

♪ And I'll have mine ♪

♪ And together we'll be fine ♪

♪ 'Cause it takes
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the
world, yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent
strokes to move the world ♪

[Thunder and lightning]

Ooo, wee.

Dad, it's starting to
rain out there like crazy.

Your prediction was right.

Of course, I use an
infallible system.

I go out on the
terrace, I face north,

I hold up my finger,

If it gets wet, I
know it's raining.

[Yawns] this kind of weather
makes me feel so lazy.

Wake me up in a couple of years.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Who's calling?

Jeff stewart?

Jeff stewart.

Well, kimberly's
taking a little nap.

Could you call back
in a couple of years?

Willis, gimme that phone.

Hello, jeff.

I thought you lost my number.

You did?

Well, why didn't
you just call me,

And I would have
given it to you.

Tonight?

Oh, well, jeff that's
rather short notice.

I have to check my calendar.

Play it cool, sis.

Count to at least one before
you say yes. [Willis laughs]

Jeff, can you hold on, please
while I take this on the other line?

There seems to be some
interference on this one.

I'll yell when I got it.

You want me to tell him some
good jokes while he's waiting?

No, no, daddy, I don't
want him to hang up.

She'll be right there.

[Kimberly screaming] I got it!

I guess you heard that.

Hi. Hi ya.

That is either a short
construction worker,

Or a very tall mushroom.

I didn't have an umbrella, so I
decided to wear my homework.

Your homework?

Yeah, it's for a
scientific experiment. Oh.

See? I fill this
bowl with water,

I dump in these chemicals,

And I hook it up to a battery,

Then you know what I have?

An expl*si*n.

No, all I'm going to do is
copper plate an old spoon.

Well, you just be sure that
you don't damage the silverware.

Dad, the only time I damage
silverware is when there's food on it.

[Doorbell chimes]

I'll get it.

Ohh... Sophia. Come in,
come on, come in, come in.

Ohh! It is just

Pouring out!

I got caught in the rain.

I couldn't get a taxi.

Did you know the subway
won't take a personal check?

I didn't know that.

So I did what any honest citizen

With no money
would do. What's that?

I crawled under the turnstile.

That's no big deal.

I can do that on my tippy-toes.

Philip, I have something

Very important to
talk to you about.

Hi, aunt sophia! Daddy,
jeff's takin' me out tonight!

Who's jeff?

Yeah. Who's this jeff

You're so excited about?

Probably some
handsome new coyote?

I think you mean fox.

Well, I knew it was
some kind of an animal.

Does this animal go to high
school somewhere around here?

Daddy, jeff is a yale man.

Yale?! That's a college!

Even i know that!

That's real good, dad.
You're really on top of things.

Willis, I meant
that a college man

Is too old for kimberly.

Just kidding. [Chuckles]

Oh, philip... Girls mature

So much faster.

Remember when we were kids?

I used to pretend I
was your older sister.

You are my older sister.

I'm sorry I brought it up.

Daddy, jeff is only ,

And he's a perfect gentleman.

Well, I'd feel better if he
were and not so perfect.

I'd like to know a little
more about that young man.

Shall I call him back and
ask him for his shoe size?

That won't be necessary.

We'll look at his feet
when he gets here.

Ok. Have a good time. And
be sure to be home by : .

: ?! Daddy, I'm going
out with a college man!

Hey, that's right. You'd
better make it : .

: ? Ok, ok.

: .

Oh, thanks, dad.

Oh, no! I just realized!

I have nothing to wear!

That ought to get his attention.

I have a million things to do.

I've gotta do my nails
and wash my hair and...

Hair? Honey, I
brought the family

Some vitamins and
other health goodies.

Try this shampoo on your hair.

It's called mother
brady's natural shampoo.

I knew you ran a health foods,

But I didn't realize
it included shampoo.

Oh, yes!

Shampoo is food for the scalp!

It feeds your follicles.

Good.

Listen to the ingredients.

"Water, soy bean oil,

Egg yolk, yeast, and lemon.

Wow. I never fed
my hair that well.

Maybe that's why it left me.

Dad, your hair didn't leave you.

It just moved to the
back of your head.

Now, don't make fun.

Mother brady's
products are wonderful.

Dr. J. Himself
recommended them to me.

Dr. J?!

The -foot basketball star?!

No, dr. Johannson,
the -foot scientist.

He's the head of
our clean air group.

Well, thanks for the
shampoo, aunt sophia.

Kimberly, you're not gonna wash
your hair in tap water, are you?

What's wrong with tap water?

You ask that, and you
call yourself a father!

I do, and tap water had
nothing to do with it.

What is wrong with tap water?

Well, it's just loaded
with nasty ol' chemicals.

Well, what's she supposed to do,

Send her hair out
to be dry cleaned?

Aunt sophia, what do
you use on your hair?

Uh, bottled water. [Chuckles]

But what's even
better is rainwater.

It's the purest there is.

Now, you run upstairs,
and we'll get you some.

Thank you. Aunt sophia, you're a
wonderful, thoughtful person.

Oh... That's true.

Uh, can we use this bowl?
It's just the right size.

Ok, but I need it back
for my homework.

Willis, dear, would you
take this out on the terrace

And see that it gets
filled from god's faucet?

God's faucet?

I wonder who he calls
when he needs a plumber.

Hey! Maybe rainwater would be
good for my goldfish... Abraham.

I think I'll set him out
there on the terrace.

It looks like next time

I'll have to bring you
some more vitamins.

You have plenty of cs and ds,

But very few bs and as.

Sounds like willis's
last report card.

Arnold, how would you
like a copper-plated nose?

Working hard, philip?

Yup.

Is it the wrong time to tell you

What I started to tell you

Before I interrupted myself?

Sophia, I haven't the vaguest
idea of what you're talkin' about.

So let me ask you a question.

What are you talkin' about?

I am talking about
our organization.

It's called "gasp."

That stands for
"good air saves people."

It used to be called
"save life on our planet,"

But that came out "slop."

That's the group

That's sponsoring the
dinner. What dinner?

That I told dr. Johannson
that you would take me to.

Mm-hmm. It's to raise funds...

To protest air pollution.

Well, when is the
dinner? Tonight.

I'm sorry. I can't make it.

But thanks for giving
me plenty of notice.

Oh, come on, philip.

It's going to be a
wonderful evening.

And it's only $ a plate.

How about payin' just
bucks and eatin' off the table?

I'm very sorry, sophia,

But I've planned to go to bed...

Curl up with a nice, warm book.

Oh, but, philip, we need
people like you at the dinner,

People with intelligence,

People with vision.

People with bucks.

Right on!

It's such a big problem.

And it's so important

That we take care of our air.

Without it, there's not
much else to breathe.

Philip, you really
should go tonight.

In your lungs,
you know I'm right.

All right. If it'll make you
feel better, I'll buy the tickets,

But I'm not gonna
go to the dinner.

I'll make out a check for $ .

That's my dad... The
fastest pen in the east.

Only ? Philip, you're loaded.

That's right, and I
intend to stay that way.

Has anyone seen my blow-dryer?

Jeff's gonna be here at : ,
and I've gotta dry my hair!

Oh, it's up in my room.

I used it yesterday on abraham.

You used a blow-dryer
on your goldfish?

Well, he looked kinda bored,

So I made waves in his water.

He likes to see
the mermaid wiggle.

So do you.

Hey, kimberly...

[Chuckles] what's
that green stuff

Hangin' out from
under the towel?

What do you mean?

What did you do, stick your
head in a bowl of spinach?

Very funny, arnold.

Daddy, you sure you
won't change your mind

About my curfew tonight?

Honey... What is
that green stuff


Hangin' out from
underneath your towel?

What's happened to my hair?!

Aaaahhh!

Oh, it's green.

Daddy, it's green.

Just look at it, it's green.

You mean you didn't
do that on purpose?

Of course not.

Green hair, how could
this happen to me?

What am I going to tell my date?

Why don't you tell him you're
the sister of the jolly green giant?

Kimberly, it looks much better.

[Whining] no, it doesn't!

It won't wash out!
This is a disaster!

Jeff's gonna be here at
: , and I've got green hair.

I'll be green forever.

Maybe in the fall,
it'll turn brown.

Did you put anything
else on your hair

Besides that shampoo that
aunt sophia brought you?

Nothing. Well... It looks to me

As if you just got a bad case

Of mother brady shampoo.

Aunt sophia, how could you

Let me use that shampoo?!

It couldn't be the shampoo.

I read you the ingredients.

They're all natural.

Yeah, if you want
to grow broccoli.

It's not funny, willis.

What am I gonna do?

You can go on that's incredible.

You're no help.

I don't understand it, philip.

I've been using that
shampoo for years.

Well, did you hair turn green?

Of course not. My hair
is the same natural color

It's always been...

Under this red dye job.

Well, it seems obvious to me

That it's the
shampoo that did it.

And I would appreciate it,
sophia, if you would stop

Bringing those cockamamie
health food products

Into this house.

Oh! Cockamamie?!

Oh! That's a terrible thing

To say about mother brady...

A woman who's too
dead to defend herself.

I'd better call dr. Johannson

And have him come
over right now.

He'll get to the bottom of this.

We oughta sue him
and mother brady!

Yeah, we'll crush 'em.

We'll bring that mother
brady to her knees.

Oh, what good is suing anybody?

It's not gonna help me tonight.

I'm really sorry, honey,
this is just terrible.

It's outrageous to sell
adulterated products.

That's what we'll sue 'em for...

Adultery.

[Doorbell chimes]

That must be dr. Johannson.

One moment!

Hello, sophia.

Oh, dr. Johannson, thank
you for coming so quickly.

Kimberly, dr. Johannson's
here to look at your hair!

Won't do any good.

My life's already ruined.

Um, uh, this is my
ruined niece kimberly.

And this is my brother philip

And my nephews
willis and arnold.

Uh, this is dr. Johannson.
Isn't he cute?

How do you do, doctor?

As I'm sure you can see,

We have a very
interesting family here...

White, black, and one green.

Well, now. Let's see
what we have here.

[Sighs] what do
you think, doctor?

It's green, all right.

Was it the shampoo?

No, it couldn't be that.

The product is perfectly safe.

I use it on my own hair.

Well, I have the fluffiest
sideburns in town.

Doctor, all that my
daughter put on her hair

Was that shampoo and water.

Yeah. As a matter of fact,
she even used rainwater.

Rainwater!

Yes! What could
be purer than that?

Well, the storm we had
today wasn't so pure.

It was acid rain.

What you talkin' about, doctor?

That means that the rain
had a high acid content.

It's caused by pollution.

You mean acid rain
turned my hair green?

I don't know yet.

But the exact same thing
happened to a woman in sweden.

Her hair turned green?

That's right.

Feel better, kimberly?

You're not the only
freak in the world.

Really cheers me up.

Tell me, what did you use
to collect the rainwater in?

Uh, arnold's homework.

I mean an old bowl that arnold
brought home from school.

May I see it?

It may give us a clue.

Sure, I'll get it for you.

Ah, doctor tell them some more about
the terrible things acid rain can do.

Oh, well it's k*lling
our rivers and lakes.

Not to mention corroding
buildings and bridges.

In boston, it peeled
the entire outer layer

Off a statue of paul revere.

You mean paul's
standin' there naked?

Where does all this
acid rain come from?

From factories.
From automobiles.

And it doesn't make any
difference where it originates.

The wind blows
all that pollution

From one state to another.

Even up to canada.

No matter where you go nowadays,

You have to chew the air
before you can swallow it.

But we have a clean
air act in this country.

Yes, but they're trying
to lower the standards.

Here you are, doctor.

It's just an old copper bowl.

Copper. [Chuckles]

Copper. Well, that explains it.

It does? How?

The acid rain had a chemical
reaction with the copper,

And, uh, that's what
turned the hair green.

I don't care what caused it.

I've got a date tonight.

I'm gonna go call
my hairdresser.

Wait. Kimberly. Please?

You could really strike a
blow against air pollution

By coming to our dinner tonight.

Your green hair would
really be a great way

To dramatize the problem.

You mean go out in public
lookin' like kermit the frog?

There'll be a lot of
influential people there.

Sophia! We could even
invite the media to cover it.

Hey, that would
make a great story!

Oh, yeah, great story.

Freak girl with the green hair.

Film at : .

Dr. Johannson, as much
as I believe in your cause,

This is an awful
lot to ask of kermit.

I mean kimberly.

Look, there's no way
I'm gonna let anybody

See me with my hair like this,
especially my date tonight.

Now, if I can't make a
beauty parlor appointment,

I'll do the next best
thing... I'll k*ll myself.

Oh, no!

Don't worry, arnold.

She wouldn't really do that.

I'm not worried about her!

I'm worried about my goldfish!

I put him out there
in that acid rain!

He's too young to
get polluted to death!

I think maybe I ought to
go to that dinner tonight.

Maybe I ought to learn
more about this problem.

Possibly I can even
help in some way.

That's wonderful, mr. Drummond.

I'm so proud of you, philip.

Oh, and by the way...

Just because we're
environmentalists,

Don't think you're
in for a dull evening.

We have entertainment, too!

Oh, really? Uh, what?

Professors get
dressed up as chipmunks

And sing don't
acid-rain on my parade.


Well, I'll go, anyway.

Oh, please, couldn't you
possibly squeeze me in?

Please?

This is a hair emergency.

Oh, please?

Well, you could if
you had any heart!

Go sit on your curling iron!

Oh, daddy!

Now, now, now, now, honey,

It's not that bad.

Yes, it is. I can't get into a
beauty parlor anywhere.

I've gotta cancel
my date with jeff.

People just don't care anything

About something as
important as pollution

Unless it's really
driven home to them.

Daddy, you're not asking me
to go out looking like this?

Well, I don't want to be the
air pollution poster girl.

You know that I would never
deliberately try to embarrass you.

Would you do it if
you had green hair?

Look, if I had as
much hair as you do,

I wouldn't care
what color it is.

See, it's not just
this issue here.

See, when you do something
for somebody else,

It may seem like a sacrifice.

But that's how you
build character.

So come on. What do you say?

How about going to the dinner?

Looking like this?

Look, tomorrow you're gonna
have your hair dyed or get a wig.

You can make a date
with jeff for another time.

Daddy, that's a wonderful
idea! You think it is?

Terrific! Oh,
thanks, dad. Mm-muh!

Then you're goin' to the dinner?

No. I'm gonna get a wig and
go out with jeff tonight.

Daddy... It's just I've waited
months for jeff to call me,

And if I don't go out with him,

He'll never call me again.

Oh, sure.

Daddy, I really want
to do the right thing.

I just don't have enough
nerve to go through with it.

That's ok, honey.

I understand.

Hey, dad. Hey, dad...

Aunt sophia.

[Thud]

Well, what did you find out

At the fish store about abraham?

Well, they gave him
a tail-to-gill physical,

And he's perfectly
healthy. Good.

We also found out one
other important thing, too.

Oh? What's that?
Abraham's a girl.

Anyway, from now
on, she's swimming

In nothing but good
old dirty tap water.

Ok, I'm ready.

Does it look all right?

Oh, honey, you could
never tell it's a wig.

Just don't let your
date park somewhere

And run his fingers
through your hair.

Better than that,
just don't park.

Do you really think I'll
get away with this wig?

Oh, no problem. Nowadays,

Women get by with a lot
of things that are fake.

I... I was thinking
of eyelashes.

i wasn't.

Daddy, do you really
understand about tonight?

Of course I do, honey.
You have a good time.

[Doorbell chimes] oh,
god, that's probably jeff!

Are... Are you sure
this wig looks all right

And... And my dress is ok?!

Wasn't anybody gonna
answer the door?!

No, no, no! Maybe
I'd better answer it.

No, no, no, maybe
I'd better not.

Yes, I'd better. [Chuckles]

I think this is how
they invented the yo-yo.

Hi, kimberly.

Hi, jeff. I'm all ready.

You sure are.

Uh, come on in.

This is my family.

I told you about my father.

And that's sophia and my
brothers willis and arnold.

This is jeff stewart.

Willis: how you doin', jeff?

Nice to meet you, jeff.
What size shoe do you wear?

Why do you ask that, sir?

[Chuckles] my dad has a
terrific sense of humor.

[Laughs uncomfortably] oh!

[Laughs uncomfortably] yeah.

Boy, you look
sensational, kimberly.

Your hair... It... It's
blonder than I remember it.

It's blonder than
she
remembers it, too.

Pardon?

He means there's more
light in here than usual.

Yeah, that's what
I meant, all right.

I don't know what it is,
kimberly, but you look different.

More mature.

Wrinkles'll do that to you.

Tell me, jeff. How do you feel

About very good
important causes?

Well, I'm in favor
of good causes.

Good! In that
case... Let's go, jeff!

Bye, everybody! Good-bye.

Yeah. Have a good time.

Shoe size. Very
funny, sir. [Chuckles]

Too bad they're not going
to the dinner tonight.

They would've looked
so nice on tv together.

What is it?

Just a minute.

Is somethin' wrong, honey?

Yes, there is.

I realize I still need a
little work on my character.

Y-your hair's green.

It's the new rich
look. It matches money.

I'll explain to you the
cause of this later, jeff.

I guess you could call
it hair pollution. Ha ha.

Uh, right now, I'd like to
ask you how do you feel

About going to a fund-raising
dinner for clean air?

Are you going looking like that?

Yes, I sure am.

Well, good for you.

You've got a lot
of courage, honey.

Um, jeff, if you'd like
to cancel our date,

I'd really understand.

No, um, I mean, I
wanna go with you.

You look kinda funky.

Just don't stand
her next to a plant.

They might try and water her.

Well, I think I'm gonna go
take one last look at this hair

Before I spring it on
the world. Excuse me.

Jeff, you're a good sport.

By the way, the
dinner's on me tonight.

Thanks. But I always make
it a rule to pay my own way.

It's $ a plate.

Of course, every
rule has an exception.

Well, let's hurry
everybody and get ready.

I want to be on time
for the chipmunks.

I'm supposed to
feed them their nuts.

That figures.

You know jeff, you're right.
It does look sorta funky

In a, uh, punky
sort of way. Ha ha.

Hey, dad, can I go, too?

I'm into air pollution.

You sure can, willis.

Great. I'd better get changed.

Can I go?

Air pollution gets down
this low, too, you know.

Ok, arnold. Come on.

♪ Now, the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born ♪

♪ He's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the
world, yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent
strokes to move the world ♪
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