04x04 - Big Time Bonus

[bunniefuu]

- I still don't know how to play cricket.

- None of us do.

- But all the other sports equipment was signed out.

- Okay, so next goal point run thing...wins.

- Whoo!

- Uh.

- I got it, I got it, I got--

- ah!

- Mm.

- [Screaming]

- second base!

- Tackle him before he scores at cricket!

- [Screaming]

- garcia scores!

It's cricket-mania, and the crowd goes wild.

- Oh... - Whoa.

- Um...

[Man screams]

how would the crowd like a refreshing snack

courtesy of big time rush?

- Eh?

- Okay.

Gummie buggies for everyone, good sir.

- That'll be...

$.

- Oh, okay.

Oops. Out of money.

- Me too. - I've got nothing.

- Don't worry, guys. I got the cash.

- Yeah, this money's from a board game.

And it's not even enough.

- Okay, okay.

Do you accept real estate?

- Okay, new plan.

How about a refreshing apology?

- Sorry.

[Crowd grumbling]

- I'll take that as a no.

- ♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh

- ♪ make it count, play it straight ♪

♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪

- ♪ when you go big time

- ♪ what you want, what you feel ♪

♪ never quit and make it real ♪

- ♪ when you roll big time

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ listen to your heart now

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ don't you feel the rush

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ go and shake it up

♪ whatcha gotta lose

♪ go and make your luck

♪ with the life you choose

♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it big time ♪

all: we want money!

- Forget it.

- What? Why not?

- We earned it.

- From our sold-out concerts and our record sales.

- And what about that foreign commercial we did last month?

Huh?

All: mm.

- Bavara-slavian hoof soup.

Gotta eat it big time!

All: das ist yum yum gut!

- Now mit iodine.

[Horse whinnies]

- well, you can't have your money

because griffin puts it all into an account that you can't access

until you're .

- ? - That's...

- This way, it's safe and secure.

And you dogs can't waste it on stupid things.

- We wouldn't do that.

- Of course you would, because you're all young

and stupid.

- Whoa. That is not true.

- Your hand is stuck in a vase.

- Yeah, well, that's carlos.

But the rest of us are very responsible.

- You all have vases on your hands.

Tell you what.

I'll give you each a $, bonus.

[Angelic choir sings]

if you can prove to me that you haven't wasted it

by : tomorrow afternoon,

we'll talk about access to the rest of your money.

Both: challenge accepted.

- Now if you'll excuse us, we have a very busy afternoon

of being responsible with our monies.

- You bought a snake?

[Woman screams]

- it was only $,.

Besides, it's an investment...

In love.

- Please, don't tell us more.

- There's a lyric in one of lucy's songs

about how she loves snakes.

Now, if you don't mind,

my yellow wing man and I need to get ready.

- Okay, well, I'm going to be responsible

and deposit my bonus in the bank.

Huh? Who's with me?

You guys, huh? Gettin' my bank on.

Bank time.

Deposito. Kendall?

- It's too easy.

This bonus is some type of trap.

And we need to b*at griffin at what his "bonus" trap is.

- Okay, nut job,

fdi-see you later.

- I know what I'm gonna do with my bonus!

- A personal assistant.

Why don't you just throw your money out the window?

- Well, once I have an assistant,

he can do that for me.

Now, what are your qualifications?

- I have a degree from the wharton school of business,

speak seven languages, and have worked

for some of the most powerful people in this town.

- This is gonna be a tough decision.

You both are so qualified.

- I've got a lot of shrimp in my pants!

- Him.

- Well, well, well.

If it isn't mr. Moneybags himself.

Come to not buy something again?

- Actually, I will buy something.

How about a bag o' gummie buggies and a lemonade, large.

- All right, well, there's one bag of gummie buggies,

one large lemonade, and your change.

- And here is a tip for you.

- Well, there's one bendy straw...

- Ooh.

- And some extra napkins,

and a smile.

- Oh, uh, thank you.

[Melancholy saxophone music]

♪

[Jazzy saxophone music]

♪

Yes, I would like to make a deposit please.

- Do you want to deposit all of it?

- Yep.

Actually, I'll keep of it... In singles.

[Knock at door]

- hey, lucy.

It's me, james diamond.

- Yeah, I know that.

- Oh, this? It's just my snake, gordon.

Pretty cool, huh?

- Not really.

I hate snakes.

- What?

But your lyrics state...

Uh, "they say love is give and take,

but I can't help but to love a snake"!

- Yeah, "snake" as a metaphor for bad boys.

So again, I hate snakes.

- Well, you could've been clearer!

Oh, great. Now you've upset gordon.

Gordon... [Gasps]

I can't breathe.

[Coughs]

- hey, I heard griffin gave you guys a fat bonus.

- Shh!

It's a trap.

- Did you put it in a towel?

- I didn't know what to do with it?

We have until : tomorrow

to prove that we are responsible with our money,

because he thinks we're gonna do something stupid with it.

- Like put it in a towel.

- Katie! - It's easy.

He just wants you to do what he would do with it,

invest it and make even more money.

I recommend commodities.

- Commodities, of course.

What are commodities?

- Just name a food you like.

- Oranges.

- Okay, let's go make you some green with oranges.

- Hmm.

- [Gasping] hey, guys!

- Kelly, get carlos on the phone.

I need him to come down here and record some new vocals

on my bonus track.

- On it.

[Phone ringing]

- hello.

Carlos garcia's assistant speaking.

How may I help you?

- Um, this is kelly from rocque records.

We need carlos to come over to the studio

to record some vocals.

- My apologies.

Something important came up,

and mr. Garcia can't make the recording.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- Carlos' assistant says he's busy.

- Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

- Get your butt in the booth and record my bonus track!

- Assistant!

- As I said on the phone, mr. Garcia's schedule has changed.

But he does have an opening for tomorrow at noon.

- Um, he's doing rhythmic gymnastics.

- You annoy me.

And, carlos, get in the booth!

Ah! Strong fingers.

- Okay, tomorrow at noon.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- Whoo.

- Now, there's my pool date.

But I couldn't find any towels.

- Hmm. But I can.

- Here you go, kids. Enjoy the pool.

- Thank you.

- Nice, big spender.

But there's still no place to sit.

- Oh, really?

Isn't tipping great?

It's like saying thank you only with money,

and then you get things.

- True.

Just be careful not to overdo it

so you still have money.

- Me overdo it?

When have I ever overdone anything?

[Chuckles]

[upbeat saxophone music]

I'd like to make a withdrawal.

- How much would you like?

- All of it... In singles.

Ha-ha.

- It seemed like a good investment.

But it turns out, lucy doesn't like snakes.

And now he's sad.

- Snakes don't get sad.

They get hungry and cold.

And you need to get him food, a heat lamp, and a cage.

- How much is all that gonna cost me?

$,?

- Well, there are a lot of hidden costs in owning a pet.

And--where is he?

- Hmm?

I left him right there on the table.

- You left him on the table?

[Screaming]

- gordon!

Gordon!

- Okay, just buy $, worth of sun squeezed stock.

- I can do it.

You don't have to tell me everything.

- Fine.

Once you select "buy," you'll hear a happy beep.

Then your transaction is complete.

- Okay.

And with one click of a button,

I am responsible with my monies.

- Where's the beep?

After you buy stock, there's a happy beep.

- I don't know.

I went to the sun squeezed website

and bought $, worth of oranges.

- No!

You were supposed to go to the financial website

and buy $, worth of sun squeezed stock.

- Is that bad?

[Truck beeping]

is that the beep you were talking about?

- No!

- ♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh

♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh

- mom!

What's for breakfast?

- Orange slices, orange wedges,

and a bowl of oranges.

- Katie!

- Okay, I have sun squeezed oranges on the line.

I explained to them that you were trying to buy stock

not oranges and asked if they'll give you a refund.

- Okay, how's it going.

[Laughter over speakerphone]

- look, kid...

Thank you for allowing me to stay on your couch last night

and for signing this orange for my daughter.

But I got to unload that truck and get down to san diego.

- Or you could take a tip from logan,

stay a little longer.

- San diego can wait.

- Mm-hmm.

- Please tell me that everybody else

is being responsible with their money.

- We have a : a.m. Shower

followed by cartoon watching from : to :,

girl watching from : to :,

then your noon recording session with gustavo.

Busy boy.

- Oh, great.

Now our only hope to prove that we're responsible with our money

is james.

Please tell me you didn't buy a magic carpet.

- Do I look like an idiot?

- The animal control guy

wanted $, to take apart the palmwoods vent system

to find his snake.

- But this snake-charming outfit and flute was only bucks.

Now who's irresponsible with money?

You will be mine!

- What are we gonna do?

We are meeting griffin at :

to prove we did not waste our bonuses on--i don't know--

say, a truckload of oranges!

- I think I might know a way

we can still squeeze some profits out of this.

- Okay, what is it?

- It's a very juicy plan

to get every "drop" of your money back.

- Please just tell me already.

- We're gonna make orange juice, genius.

- Then let's get to squeezin'.

- ♪ I can feel it in the air ♪

♪ I like the truth but love the dare ♪

♪ livin' life like it's a vacation ♪

- ♪ ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

- ♪ we are golden like the sun ♪

♪ never, never planned

♪ we all stay young

♪ 'cause we're the here and now generation ♪

- ♪ try and knock us down

♪ we'll get up every time

♪ we can run this town

♪ so let's do what we like, do what we like ♪

- ♪ all day, every day is a holiday ♪

♪ we're all right -

♪ all day, every day, all we got to say ♪

♪ is live your life -

- ♪ we got no one to impress ♪

♪ looking fly no matter how we dress ♪

♪ staying up forever 'cause there is no wind ♪

- ♪ try and knock us down

♪ we'll get up every time

♪ we can run this town

♪ so let's do what we like, do what we like ♪

♪ all day, every day is a holiday ♪

♪ we're all right -

♪ all day, every day, all we got to say ♪

♪ is live your life -

♪ all day, every day is a holiday ♪

♪ we're all right -

♪ all day, every day, everybody say ♪

♪ live your life -

- ♪ all day, every day's a holiday ♪

♪ we don't care what other people say ♪

- ♪ hey, ho, let's go ♪

- ♪ all day, every day is a holiday ♪

♪ we're all right -

♪ all day, every day, all we got to say ♪

♪ is live your life -

♪ all day, every day is a holiday ♪

♪ we're all right -

- ♪ ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh

- ♪ -

- Okay, we have been squeezing oranges for two hours.

We have made...

One glass?

Are you kidding me?

- This may have been a terrible idea,

but I know what'll cheer you up.

- What?

Okay, that is always funny.

- Hey, what are you doing here?

I thought gustavo was chasing you around.

- He was.

But then I got tired, so my assistant is running for me.

- [Screaming]

- we are so responsible with our money.

- [Screaming]

- one hour.

We have one hour to prove to griffin

that we are responsible with money.

- With a ball pit?

- It's the world's healthiest ball pit,

filled with vitamin c and vitamin f, for fun.

Now, all I need is kids, and, boom, I win.

- So is this thing any fun?

- Fun?

[Laughs] seriously?

This thing is full of fun.

Watch this.

- So uh, is that vitamin f kicking in?

- Katie!

- And that's when I said,

"that's just the tip of the iceberg."

[All laughing]

I know, I know, I know.

- Okay, don't you think this tipping thing has gone too far?

'Cause now you are tipping people

for laughing at your jokes.

- Oh, that is ridiculous.

Everybody just loves a good tipper.

- Uh, yeah, until you run out of money.

- Won't happen,

'cause when griffin sees how responsible we are

with our money, I'll get even more;

more money, more friends, and more towels.

Huh. That's weird.

Out of money.

Out of money?

Ah.

Hey!

Where'd everybody go?

What is this?

- A little tip.

Next time, listen to your girlfriend.

- Well, I went through the whole a/c system,

but I didn't find your snake.

But the good news is,

I still get my fee.

- $, And no snake?

- Oh, I guess that's just good news for me.

- But that's all I have left.

- Then I guess I'm not getting a tip.

- [Whimpers]

well, I have, uh, no snake, no girl, and no money.

Tell me that you have something to cheer me up.

Let's just hope that logan has some money left.

- Are you serious?

- Ooh, why the sad faces, bonus buddies?

- Well, in minutes, we get to tell griffin

that james is snake-rupt, logan has $ left,

and I have a truckload of oranges.

- Problems are no problem

when you've got a super assistant

who can do anything.

Assistant?

- Actually, I do know a way you can make a ton of money

with a truckload of oranges.

All: how?

- It's simple.

All you have to do is--

[phone chimes]

and carlos is officially out of money,

which means I no longer work for him.

- Wait. What?

How can I be out of money?

- Well, you pay me $ an hour.

Add in additional grooming fees, hazard pay, overtime,

and the lobsters for the lobster chariot

you made me build and never used,

your $, is officially spent.

- [Gasps]

- let me get this straight.

- We were given $,,

and after one day, we have $ left.

- What do we do?

- We do what griffin would do.

We invest it.

All: to failure!

- Oh, for-- - unbelievable.

- Fitting. - Not my best move.

- My snake!

Gordon bartholomew slitherton, you had me worried sick.

I will never let go of you again.

- Hey, I'll take that snake off of your hands for bucks.

- Sold.

- Oh, and I'll take that because...

I can hire my super assistant for one more hour.

- Now, how do we make a ton o' money with the oranges?

- We sell them to one of my old bosses.

He thinks bathing in freshly squeezed orange juice

once a day keeps the goblins away.

- Ooh. - Okay.

Well, how much money do you think we can get for them?

- $,. I'm proud of you fellas.

You didn't waste $ of your bonuses,

and you proved me wrong,

which is weird because I'm never wrong.

It's really weird.

- Well, I guess that means that the "r" in btr stands for...

All: "responsible."

- And since you proved you can be responsible

with your money...

- You get full access to your accounts.

- No, we're good. - You know what?

- We're cool with it. - Thank you so much, though.

[All chattering]

- well, I must be going too.

I just scored a sweet deal on a truckload of oranges.

Got to keep those goblins away.

- ♪ Step it up, get in gear ♪

♪ go for broke, make it clear ♪

- ♪ got to go big time

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ make it work, get it right ♪

♪ change the world overnight

- ♪ got to dream big time

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ give it all you got now

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ isn't it a rush

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ go and shake it up

♪ whatcha gotta lose

♪ go and make your luck with the life you choose ♪

♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it big time ♪