- I'm going to make a corn dog.
- Don't move.
- Hey, can you sign my shirt for me
that I'm definitely not selling on the web.
Both: shh.
- Is he ready?
- Whoo!
Both: he's ready.
- Today I take my first medical college admissions test
and the first step to being a doctor.
- You're supposed to take that test
after four years of college, not before you enter college.
- Yes, but..
[Together] you're never too young
to prepare for your future.
- Exactly, and when I ace this test,
they'll probably ask me to skip college and go right to surgery.
Now...things.
- Healthy snacks to keep your brain at it's peak.
- Four juice boxes with convenient caddy
to keep your brain hydrated.
- Kendall.
- And all our positive energy.
Positive energy, positive energy,
positive energy, positive energy,
positive energy...
[All chanting and humming]
- okay, I need more positive energy.
Where's james?
- Positive energy, positive energy,
posi...
- Lucy's left for a european tour.
She really won't be mine.
- ♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh
- no. No "uh-ohs." Positive energy.
Positive energy. Positive...
- ♪ Make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
- ♪ when you go big time
- ♪ what you want, what you feel ♪
♪ never quit and make it real ♪
- ♪ when you roll big time
- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh
- ♪ hey, hey
- ♪ listen to your heart now
- ♪ hey, hey
- ♪ don't you feel the rush
- ♪ uh-oh, uh-oh
♪ uh-oh, uh-oh
- ♪ oh
- ♪ go and shake it up
♪ whatcha gotta lose
♪ go and make your luck
♪ with the life you choose
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it big time ♪
- fine, I'll take the test without his energy.
- You're gonna fail.
- Rude, and I won't, because I have carlos.
- Wait.
Why do I have to take the test?
- Don't question the smart one, okay?
- And my car needs a smog test,
- but first, drop me off at rocque records.
- You got it.
- Good luck with that.
- Thanks.
[Bell rings]
- okay, we'll get started once everyone
has their test and answer sheets.
- Thank you.
- Why am I even here?
I don't like tests.
We don't get along.
See.
- Stop that.
Stop it. Stop.
Sorry. Sorry.
- I'm leaving unless you tell me why
you need me next to you.
- I--i think you're my good luck chum.
- Go on.
It's true; look, when you're next to me, good things happen.
When debbie crawford said yes to the sixth grade dance,
you were next to me.
When I scored my first pee-wee hockey goal,
you were next to me.
And yesterday by the pool...
Hey.
- Hey?
How about a chum hug?
- Whoa.
Oh!
- Oh, so you want another chum hug?
- No, no.
I want you to sit there, be lucky, and take this test.
- No, I don't want to take this test.
I want to go home and eat corn dogs.
- Okay, I am the smart one, so you should listen to me now
and take it.
- Remember, some questions have multiple answers.
And the medical exams begin... Now.
- So you want talk about--
- lucy told pop tigershe's looking for a sensitive guy.
Um, hello?
- You are, but lucy's on a tour far, far away,
and you have to move on.
- Which is why I'm taking the "is he a bad boyfriend?" Test.
- I'm not sure I'm following--
- why can't I have a meaningful relationship like you and jo?
Am I doing something wrong?
And perhaps the answers are right here.
- Okay, or we could go skateboarding.
- "You've had a tough day, and you're upset.
"Your boyfriend, 'a,'
"takes you out for cocoa and tells you to let it out.
"Or, 'b,'
talks about himself and checks his hair in his phone."
Well... [Chuckles]
"'a,' takes you out for cocoa."
- [Clears throat]
- mm-hmm.
- I think in order to take that test,
you have to be...honest.
- That wasn't honest?
- No, it's just that I had /\a really tough day, and...
- Is this story gonna take long?
- Oh. Oh, okay.
Well, then, why don't you be a girl and take the test for me?
- I'm not taking a boyfriend test.
- I don't know what's wrong with me,
and I want a serious girlfriend, and your honesty will help.
Please.
- I can't believe I'm doing this.
- Okay, number two.
"On average, does your man think of 'a,' himself,
or 'b,' you?"
- Himself.
- [Yelps]
- I'm telling you, I don't know who emailed you
from the studio to come here, but it wasn't us.
- Well, then, who was it?
- It was me.
And welcome, volunteers, to our new product testing lab.
[Together] what?
- Secretly, I've installed throughout rocque records
the latest products from rcm/cbt/globannet/sanyoid
ready for you testing and approval.
- But we didn't volunteer for this.
- Then volunteer.
Because I want people that won't sue us
as we test the latest products for today's finicky tweens,
the modern working woman, and anyone who wants to lose
% of their body size.
- Wait, who are you looking at?
- I'm asking who wants to be the first one to test
sanyoid's multipurpose massage chair.
Hidden surround sound speakers,
massage settings to roll the day's tension away,
and neural enhancers that stimulate the mind's monads
to keep you at peak performance.
- Forget it, 'cause no one wants to test
your stupid massage chair.
- But katie's already sitting in it.
[Chair whirring]
- okay.
I could get used to this.
[Upbeat music]
- okay, out.
I want to test it.
- ♪ Picture this, first kiss beneath the moonlight ♪
- ahh!
- Make a note that the neural enhancers shock people.
- Well, for those of you who waited for your test results,
many of you did great,
some of you not so great,
and one of you got every answer correct.
- And that would be...
What? A .
- Yeah, you're not ready for medical school yet.
And you...
- [Gasps]
- okay, I'm took the pencils.
I'm so sorry. They're just so yellow.
- You scored %.
- What? - What?
- Yeah, it's amazing.
[All speaking simultaneously]
- tell me, does your friend wear that helmet
to protect his massive brain?
- Come on. It's the last one.
- No. I don't want to answer it.
- Hey, you're mr. Honest.
Now, "it's your biggest gymnastics meet of the year,
"and your boyfriend is 'a,'
"in the front row with your parents, or 'b,'
"shows up late, because he stopped at the mall
to buy a new shirt."
- New shirt.
- What?
- James, a pop tigertest is not going to answer
whether you're a good boyfriend or not.
You're a great guy.
- Really, 'cause according to this,
we shouldn't even be going out.
- Um, we're not going out.
- Oh, oh, just because I'm so terrible to be around, huh?
Yeah, thanks.
- Okay, maybe this was a mistake.
- Really, this whole thing since kindergarten
was a mistake.
- Uh... - No, no, no, no.
Have it your way, 'cause I'm out of here.
- What was that all about?
- I james and I just broke up.
- Oh, that is disgusting.
- No, that's rcm foods new power juice in that juice box
made with vitamins, minerals, and tiny chunks of fish.
We should improve the flavor.
Globalnet's new auto bright light switches
save time and energy.
- Ahh!
My--my eyes!
- Hmm, too bright.
- Sanyoid's new -d tvs are so real,
you will jump out of your seat.
[Bats squealing]
- ah! Bats!
Bats! Get them away from me!
They're everywhere!
Ahh!
- Bring down the realness down %.
- Ahh!
Griffin.
- We are done testing your products.
- Your products are bad.
Test over, and you can't keep us here against our will.
- No, but the rcm remote family security
home control system can.
It keeps unwanted intruders out and unruly teenagers in.
And you're not going anywhere until we finish our tests.
[Slurping]
ahh.
- Oh.
Oh, honey, did you do badly on the test?
- I did terrible.
- Okay, okay, well, it was your first try,
and it's the hardest test in the world.
- Oh. Oh, really?
Okay, well, then, how come carlos aced it?
- Come again.
- 'Sup, mama knight?
I'm gonna be a doctor.
- ♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh
- I'm the smart one.
Okay, so you hit a bump in the road,
but sitting on the couch depressed
is never the answer.
- Depression, huh.
Hmm, take two corn dogs, and call me in the morning.
- Corn dogs are not the answer to everything.
- Oh, trust me, it is.
And who's the smart one?
Me.
Nurse, send in my next patient.
- I'm not a nurse, and you don't have a patient.
- Then I'll go find my next patient.
- Don't actually touch anyone.
- Got it.
- What am I gonna do, mrs. Knight?
My future doctor dream is dashed
oh, and... Carlos is smarter than me.
- Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna pick yourself up.
And you're pick another exciting future for yourself,
like an airline pilot
or a politician or a lawyer...
- A stunt man.
- No, that wasn't on my list.
- But it would be exciting.
All you've got to do is break a few plates over your head
and fall from the sky and stuff.
- No, there will be no breaking plates or falling
in this apartment.
- Okay, well, then I will practice my career elsewhere.
[Coughing]
- so...bombed your test and looking for
an exciting fall-back career?
- I'm rethinking stuntman.
- Oh, I always wanted to be a stunt man.
- You stay a janitor.
You...the palmwoods is offering a manager trainee program.
It's the ultimate job when your dreams fail.
- Never.
- I'm smarter than logan.
And here are two frozen corn dogs to stop the swelling.
- Corn dogs are not the answer.
- Okay, everybody, stop falling on my desk.
- Oh, there you are.
I've got some of your things.
Here's your hockey magazine that I borrowed,
your dress shoes, which I polished,
oh, and your snap-tight rescue ranger fire truck.
The wheel was missing when I borrowed it.
- Okay, it was a boyfriend test,
which we are not.
We are best friends.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Then you won't mind taking
last month's "are you really besties?" Test?
- I'm leaving.
- Best friends don't leave best friends.
- [Sighs]
hit me.
- "Do you know your besties favorite color?"
- Purple.
- Correct.
- "Have you been on campouts or vacations together?"
- We live in the same apartment.
- I'll count that as a yes.
"What is your b-f-f's birthday?"
- September rd?
- Eh! Th.
"Where did you meet your b-f-f?"
- Kindergarten?
- Danny craven's fifth birthday party.
[Buzzer buzzes]
- bald eagle?
- Eh!
- Cream rinse and conditioner?
[Buzzer buzzes]
apples... No, grapes.
[Buzzer buzzes]
- more purple-y stuff.
[Buzzer buzzes]
chewbacca. [Buzzer buzzes]
three...nine.
- No. Wrong.
Eh! No.
Wrong again.
- So how'd I do... Best friend?
- You scored an "a,"
as in a person who is no longer my bestie.
- It's no use. We're trapped.
Trapped in our own studio.
- And we're surrounded by griffin's crazy tests.
- And they could be anywhere.
- Actually, there's only two tests left.
One, rcm's innovative wall conferencing system,
which works great.
[Both yelling]
and two, this thing.
Now, who wants to try it?
- Sweetie, you don't have to decide
on your future career today.
Please.
- [Coughing]
- so far today I've failed at stuntman,
books on tape narrator, pet psychic, and now chef,
which I thought would be like a doctor in the kitchen.
I'm calling it.
Time of death: now.
- You and me are a lot alike, logan.
- Please don't say that.
- We both failed at our dream jobs.
[Women screaming]
- you'll never be a stuntman.
- Don't you crush my dreams.
- Look, life doesn't always turn out the way you'd like it to.
Like, how you failed the biggest test of your life,
and... [Sneezes]
I'm coming down with a cold.
- Huh.
Hmm, yep, you do sound warm.
You know what you need?
A corn dog.
- Oh, come on. Corn dogs are not the answer.
- I do feel better.
- Oh, he's feels better.
You failed.
I passed.
Smart one.
- You know, maybe you'd feel better
if you had a solid future like carlos.
- Don't be too nice to the residents.
They will walk all over you.
- Hey, can I get a new key card?
- Ahh!
- You're a natural.
- Take two of these, and you'll feel better.
- Okay, so I failed the best friend test.
But you would have too.
What's my favorite color?
- Blue.
Your favorite food is veggie pizza.
If you could own any animal in the world,
it would be the occelot.
The nectarine is your favorite fruit.
Your first crush was elin fekete because of her cute laugh,
and, oh, do I know your biggest secret,
and I'd tell you,
but I swore that I'd speak those words out loud.
- Okay, that's good.
But this is not about me.
It's about you and how a girl that you had
a big crush on left.
And you want to take a test to deal with it,
we'll take a test.
- What magazine?
- Best friends illustrated.
True or false: james diamond is amazing
and never feels sorry for himself.
- True.
- True or false: lucy stone was amazing
but is not the only amazing girl in the world.
- [Sighs] true.
- When james diamond is in the crib,
and there is a pool full of amazing girls
just downstairs, he "a," fights with his best friend
over pop tigertests, or "b,"
runs down there and gets his pool on.
- "B," pool on!
Look, out ladies.
James diamond is back.
Ha-ha-ha!
- So are you and james are back together?
- Yep.
- Okay, we are not testing that thing
till you tell us what it does.
- The weight-i-ator is an internal cell accelerator
that vibrates excess weight at such hyper speeds,
it reduces your body size up to % instantly.
Now, who's first?
Come on. It's revolutionary.
- And nobody leaves until we test it?
- That's right. - Then let's test it.
Great. Full power.
Three, two...
[Together] now!
- [Mumbling]
yes, the weight-i-ator is a huge success.
- So we can go now.
- Sure.
- You might want to get working on a "reverse" setting.
- Duly noted.
Both: move out.
- Okay, what is going on?
- Well, I'm over lucy leaving.
- And james and I are besties forever.
- But logan bombed his medical test,
and carlos is a doctor.
- Oh.
- Hello, I hope you're having a palmwoods day.
How can I help you?
- Look, I'm prescribing you to take off that jacket
and try and be a doctor again.
- No, you're the smart one.
You're the doctor now.
- Dr. Carlos, I still a bit achy.
- Did he just prescribe a--
[together] yep.
- Carlos, for the last time,
corn dogs are not the answer to everything.
- Yes, it is.
- What?
You guessed on the entire test?
- Are you serious.
- Well, I mean, he always did say
that I was the lucky one.
And you still get to be the smart one.
- And you'll just study harder and take the test again.
- Yeah, well, maybe I'm not cut out to be a doctor?
[Gagging]
- well, I know I'm not.
- Yeah, I mean, bitters is red in the face
and holding his throat, and he has no idea what that means.
[Together] oh! He's choking.
He's choking. He's actually choking.
- Is there a doctor in the house?
- Okay, everyone, stand back.
- Oh.
- Oh!
- Are you okay?
- You saved my life.
Thank you.
And I am taking you out of that training program,
so you can continue studying for that test.
- I guess I did kind of spring into action
- it was spring-tastic.
- I guess saving people is in my blood.
- And I'll be there right by your side.
- Great.
- Great?
Doncha mean chum hug!
All: don't be a stuntman.
- Fine.
- ♪ Step it up, get in gear ♪
♪ go for broke, make it clear ♪
- ♪ got to go big time
- ♪ hey, hey
- ♪ make it work, get it right ♪
♪ change the world overnight
- ♪ got to dream big time
- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh
- ♪ hey, hey
- ♪ give it all you got now
- ♪ hey, hey
- ♪ isn't it a rush
- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh
- ♪ go and shake it up
♪ whatcha gotta lose
♪ go and make your luck with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it big time ♪
04x09 - Big Time Tests
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A look at life for the members of a boy band who are trying to make it big in the music industry.
A look at life for the members of a boy band who are trying to make it big in the music industry.