02x01 - The Hero's Return

Episode transcripts for the TV show "One Punch Man". Aired: October 5, 2015 – present.*
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Japanese superhero manga series tells the story of Saitama, a superhero who, because he can defeat any opponent with a single punch, grows bored from a lack of challenge.
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02x01 - The Hero's Return

Post by bunniefuu »

Master, where should we head next?

Hair

Let's see... We bought the ingredients
for the hot pot, right?

That just leaves toilet
paper and shampoo...

Rumble

Rumble

Huh...

I guess you get one of these
when you get popular.

Must be nice... Getting your own figure.

Let's contact the manufacturer.

Nah... You're not supposed to
ask them to make one yourself.

Let's go.

Yes, sir!

Where should we go, Master?

What the heck is that?!

I loved reptiles so much
that I turned into one.

I'm Tongue-Stretcher!

Run away!

I'm not letting any of you girls get away!

You're mine! Yummy!

Licky, licky, licky!

Jeez, that startled me!

Th-This vibe...

That face!

Rumble

H-He's no ordinary guy!

Man... I want to quit being a hero.

That guy's the strongest hero in the world!

It's King!

I knew I saw you somewhere!
You're the legendary...

He'll stomp you in a single blow!

Can I have your autograph?

King! King!

King! King! King! King! King! King! King!

I-I-I'm terribly sorry for what I've done!

Three cheers for King!

You pervert!

You're the worst.

Take care of him, Mr. King!

How did it come to this?

King! King! King! King!

He's starting to have a seizure
while he's groveling!

You're so awesome, King.

Did you show up because you
sensed the monster, King?

No, I was about to go shopp—

Hey, you can't just talk
to King like that.

Er, I don't really mind.

Could I just get a handshake?

I'm busy.

Would you mind leaving me alone?

W-We're terribly sorry!

Let's go! Let's go!

Video Game Shop
Pazool

Thank you very much.

I was able to buy it.

Heartthrob Sisters

The first-press limited edition
of Heartthrob Sisters .

I can never get enough of the excitement

I feel as I walk home
after buying a new game.

I can't wait to get home and play.

Class S Rank

King

Master, I believe that
gentleman is King after all.

Who?

He was one of the heroes
at the Class S gathering.

The first sequel in three
and a half years...

I'm feeling the hype!

The Hero's Return

Café

King.

That man somehow claims your place
as the strongest man in the world.

Ah...

But what in the world is he doing here?

A-A monster!

A monster?

Master, we should hurry!

No, wait...

This might be a good opportunity
to see King's true power.

Let's see how things go.

I am G! A machine god that
the organization created.

You're the Class S hero King, aren't you?

I will eliminate you.

Look! It's King! King's right over there!

You're aware that I'm King...

A Class S Rank hero,
and the strongest man on Earth?

I'm saying that I've come to k*ll you!

What the heck's that noise?

You've never heard of the King Engine?

It's the sound you hear once
King's in combat mode!

It's said that there's been no monster that
made it out alive after hearing that sound!

Listen well. This is also
a test of my combat AI.

I need you to fight at full
strength so I can gather data.

Is this thing a robot?

What the hell is this organization?

I have no idea what it's talking about.

All right, but let me go
to the bathroom first.

I'll only be able to fight at about
half-strength if I'm holding it in.

That won't give you accurate data, will it?

I shall wait here for ten minutes.

For every minute that you're late,
I shall k*ll ten people.

Got it?

That monster seems pretty strong.

That thing is a robot... and quite powerful.

It's performance might be
higher than mine.

I estimate that it's at least thr*at level
Demon and will be quite troublesome.

I wonder how King will fight it.

Public Bathroom

It came to k*ll me?

How did things end up like this?!

I'm scared... I'm so scared!

I'm not strong!

I'm a -year-old unemployed
otaku and antisocial loser!

What the hell is the "King Engine"?!

Rumble

Are they stupid?!

I'm just twice, no, dozens of times
more cowardly than other people!

An evil monster just happened
to appear in front of me once

and someone defeated it
while I had my eyes closed.

That coincidentally happened
over and over again!

That's all it is!

But then the Hero Association
sent me a Class S certificate,

saying that I was the ultimate rookie.

I mean, it's also my fault
because I didn't deny it,

but I never thought it'd come to this!

Aw, man... I want to quit
being a hero so bad.

It's starting!

Think! Think about how to get through this!

I can't!

It's not like my name's
gonna intimidate a robot!

I'm sorry!

I'm so sorry!

Someone's fighting it?

I'm saved!

What is that? A rocket punch?

Genos, want me to lend you a hand?

No.

In order for me to achieve your

assignment to me and rank
in the top ten of Class S,

I need to be able to

defeat something like this on my own!

I see.

Well, see ya. Make sure you don't lose.

Emergency evacuation warning.

A robotic w*apon is rampaging
near Central Park in City M.

Residents of the area should
immediately evacuate.

I somehow made it home safely, but...

That scary robot is probably
going to haunt my dreams.

I'll just play some games
and try to forget about it.

They put so much work into the openings
of the Heartthrob Sisters series.

I can barely contain my excitement.

Input your name, Big Brother!

My name, huh?

It'd be too embarrassing
to use my actual name.

I wonder what I should use.

Why not just use King?

Yeah, I'm not sure about using my hero name.

I mean, having someone call me
"Big Brother King" is just...

Huh?

Um... What? Who the hell is this guy?

What are they doing here?

Your window was open.

We're on the nd floor.

C-Come on, man.

You can't just come in here uninvited!

Ahem.

D-Do you know that I'm a Class S hero?

Of course, I do. You're King, right?

Th-This guy is the Class B hero that was at
the Class S hero meeting for some reason!

Could I get some tea?

I had no idea you were interested
in games like this, though.

Input your name, Big Brother!

Stop!

Hey, what game is this?

It looks fun.

Battle Robot
Galgangal

Oh, that's an action game.

You operate a robot and stuff?

Yeah, exactly!

I see.

That's the kind of game I'm really into!

I bought this thinking it was an action game,
but what the heck? It's a dating sim!

I guess I bought it by mistake!

It totally says Heartthrob Sisters.

Seriously?! I totally thought
it said "Wrathful sh**t"!

Damn, they tricked me! I'll throw it away!

Then let's play this one.

Yeah! That's a great idea!
That one's... Er, wait...

You wanna play that?

What? I can't? I mean,
you've got time, right?

Who the hell is this guy?

He's only a Class B, but he's super
pushy and way too casual with me.

Not to mention, I'm older here!

Incinerate!

I've melted your internal structures.

Your big body brought upon your downfall.

The pilot? No... Its true form?

Not good!

Whoa, King. You're super
good at video games.

I mean... I've won a few tournaments
for some fighting games, but...

Really?

So not only are you strong in real life,
you're a winner in video games, too?

How long does he plan on being here?

Hurry up and—

So, why did you run away earlier?

Right now, Genos is fighting in your place.

You're a super strong Class S hero, right?

Why did you run away from
the robot monster then?

I came here to ask you that,
but you were playing video games.

Did you get bored with the monster?

Could it be that you're so strong that
you don't want to fight anymore?

Please, tell me.

Emergency evacuation warning.

A giant bird has appeared above City M.

thr*at level Demon.

Please do not go outside.

Here we go again.

I repeat...

That's the third warning just today.

What are you going to do? I'm gonna go.

Well, I'll be damned.

Guess the thr*at decided
to come right to you.

Maybe there's something about
you that attracts monsters.

Yeah... I've always been super unlucky.

What do you do in situations like this?

But lately, it's been getting worse.

I mean, if these things are showing up at
your house, you have to fight, don't you?

Damn it... I have to do
something about these lasers!

Come down.

My only target is King. I have
no time to waste on you.

Come on, God, give me a break!

That one time, then that other time,

and then that other time!

I just got dragged into those messes!

I'm always running away.

Eventually, someone'll
show up to defeat them.

I just happened to be at those places,

but everyone ends up thinking I'm
the one who defeated those things!

I've never even been in a fight!

King...

I ended up with this hero name because
they thought I was the ultimate hero

and my overwhelming strength...

What a joke.

I'm basically nothing but lies.

Oh?

That's—

Why you little...

The steam is—

It appears that you're after King,

but I know someone that's stronger.

You not gonna fight, King?

You've got the wrong idea!

I'm not the King that society
looks up to so much!

I have to say it! I have to say it!

If I don't say it now, he's—

I'm actually—

Seriously? So your strength and
battle history are all lies?

I guess it must be true if you
pissed your pants over that bird.

Wait, why are you just standing there?
What happened to the bird?

He... What?

You okay?

Someone! Someone!

Hey, calm down. I defeated the monster.

Is your eye okay?

Try opening it slowly.

Can you see?

Wh-Who are you?

Me?

Hm...

I guess I'm just a guy who's
aspiring to be a hero for fun.

You're so hurt...

This is nothing.

Today was a great victory.

This guy is...

Hey, what's the matter? Hey!

I'm so sorry!

Are you having fun?

Being a hero who lies and cowers in fear?

No...

I mean, it's none of my business, so I'm
not going to lecture you or anything.

But, uh... I may have been taking
credit for your deeds.

This isn't about that.

You're everyone's hero.

No, I'm...

No matter what you think, they think
that you're the ultimate hero.

Rumble

King, are you going to
continue with your lies?

Or are you going to quit being a hero?

I'm not sure...

In that case,

why don't you just get strong?

Huh?

I'm going now.

See ya.

Wait!

Aren't you angry with me?

You worked so hard to become
a hero, and yet, I...

I'll be coming by now and
then to play some games.

Peace.

Oh!

Uh...

Sure.

Dr. Kuseno, these are parts from a
robot calling itself the Robot God G.

It had immense power and superb AI.

If there are any parts from it that
I can use, please allow me to do so.

Th-This is... Genos, where did you get this?

Doctor,

I want to get stronger.

All right. Let's give it a try.

I believe I can still make you stronger.

Thank you.

But, Genos, while I know you became a
cyborg for the sake of justice,

you shouldn't push yourself too hard.

No, I have to push myself.

Right now, I'm trying to rank
in the top ten of Class S.

That reckless assignment
your master assigned you?

I figured you'd say that.

More importantly, Genos, have you
gathered any clues about the cyborg?

That rampaging cyborg
that destroyed your home?

You seem to be completely focused
on your hero activities lately.

I haven't been able to track it down at all.

I see... But—

The rampaging cyborg that's destroyed
many towns and taken countless lives...

I will track it down, no matter what,

and destroy it with my own hands.

No matter what. Whatever it takes.

Despite becoming a hero
and gaining a master,

it appears that his hatred
hasn't disappeared.

Genos, I'm worried.

I've been pursuing this
cyborg longer than you,

and I know just how dangerous it is.

If you do end up finding it, don't do
anything rash and report back to me.

You are calm and intelligent,
but your youth can invite disaster.

Do not fight it alone.

Doctor Kuseno, I understand.

This is our fight.

I am Sitch, the leader of Earth in the Danger
Prophecy Emergency Countermeasures Team.

I am deeply grateful that denizens

of the underworld like yourselves
would heed our call.

Let me just say

that we will not be looking into your
criminal history or activities at this time.

This is not a trap.

There are a few heroes here, but they
are just serving as my bodyguards.

Heroes?

Bring them on! I'll m*rder all of them!

They won't act as long as you
don't do anything reckless.

Why don't we just take over the place?

Wanted men with huge
bounties and top assassins.

Even prison escapees.

What is Sitch thinking,
inviting these ruffians here?

Class A Rank

Magicman

I don't know why he brought them here,

Class A Rank

Heavy t*nk Loincloth

but the nerve these criminals
had to actually show up...

I'll burn them to cinders if they make
even the slightest suspicious move.

Class A Rank

Blue Fire

Three upper-rank Class A heroes,
whose fighting power is close to Class S.

No one here is stupid enough to
lose control in front of them.

All right, let's begin.

Wait.

Where's the hero named Saitama?

Doesn't he live in these headquarters?

Who are you?

I'd appreciate it if we could hold off
on anything off topic until later.

This is rather important.

He isn't here? Then I'm leaving.

You're going to leave without
hearing what he has to say?

I won't let that happen,
now that you're here.

Level Tiger or higher disasters
are happening more often lately.

This month, the rate is six times
the last three years' average.

Are these omens of the danger
foretold by the great Shibabwa,

The Earth Is in Danger Prophecy Emergency Countermeasures Team
Explanation Meeting

or has it already begun?

If this continues,

the current heroes will be exhausted
and unable to deal with the disasters.

The prophecy said the greatest
disaster in history will occur

within six months, and clearly,
it hasn't passed.

The Earth is in Danger Prophecy Emergency Countermeasures Team
Explanation Meeting

Even Class S heroes are dealing
with some of these incidents,

but there are so many disasters happening,
there aren't enough heroes to go around.

In other words, in the increasingly intense
fights to save humanity that lie ahead

you want help from both the good and bad,

as long as they know how to fight.

Does that pretty much sum it up?

Well, I still refuse.

H-How did he get his hands on
papers I never even handed out?

The thought of playing hero with you losers

nauseates me.

Damn it. What a waste of time.

This was a great opportunity for outsiders
to enter the Hero Association HQ,

but all I know about him are his name,
his face, and that he's Class B Rank .

Hero Name
Saitama

Hero Rank
Class B Rank

Seriously? A guy like him?

Unbelievable.

Yes.

In the physical exam
portion of the Hero Test,

he crushed every record for every event.

Lady Blizzard!

Class B Rank

Hellish Blizzard

No trespassing

Despite having no notable record
of his actions since then,

he managed to climb up
from Class C to Class B.

Right after his debut, on top of that.

There has to be something about this man.

There has to be something about him.

A secret behind his strength.

First, we're going to find out where he is.

Yes, ma'am!

I'm going to hunt him down,
and I'm going to make him regret

the fact that he managed to embarrass
me, Sound-o'-Speed Sonic.

Just you wait...

You better be prepared...

...Saitama!

Hey, why are you taking all the items?

What the hell, man?

First come, first serve.

This is co-op, you moron.
You friggin' moron, King.

I'm still in my default gear!

Don't worry. I can b*at them by myself.

Whoops. The controller broke.

Huh?

The Earth is in Danger Prophecy Emergency Countermeasures Team
Explanation Meeting

There better be a reward for this.

Hey, come on now.

This great prophecy's pretty insane.

Human Monster
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