04x13 - Research and Destroy

Episode transcripts for the TV show "21 Jump Street". Aired: April 12, 1987 –; April 27, 1991.*
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Series focuses on a squad of youthful-looking undercover police officers investigating crimes in high schools, colleges, and other teenage venues.
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04x13 - Research and Destroy

Post by bunniefuu »

[music playing]

[coughing]

MAN: You don't look too good.

Allergies.

MAN: I have to ask you
a few questions first.

What, are you kidding me?

You never had to ask me
any questions before.

MAN: What is your normal
dosage of street grade heroin?

What, are you working
for "Rolling Stone"

now or something?

MAN: The sooner we do
this, the sooner we

can complete our transaction.

When did you last eat?

Come on, man.

Last night some time.

[music playing]

Hey, did you cop?

[music playing]

[car handle banging]

Hey, what the--

[car handle banging]

[music playing]

[car handle banging]

[music playing]

[banging]

[music playing]

[gasping]

[music playing]

COP: Rigor mortis?

No, he's not dead.

[music playing]

[MUSIC - HOLLY ROBINSON,
" JUMP STREET"]

HOLLY ROBINSON (SINGING):
We never thought we'd

find a place where we belong.

Don't have to stand alone.

We'll never let you fall.

Don't need permission to
decide what you believe.

I said, jump down
on Jump Street.

I said, jump down
on Jump Street.

Your friends will be there
when your back is to the wall.

You'll find you'll
need us 'cause

there's no one else to call.

When it was hopeless, a
decision's what you need.

You've got to be ready
to, be ready to jump.

Jump Street.

[chatter]

MAN (ON INTERCOM):
Number , Elliot Masche.

It'll never work, Masche.

A dodecahedron will become
radically unstable on impact.

The surface planes
are too large.

Something like this
needs to be geodesic.

Can't you creatons
see that a dodecahedron

is the perfect absorber?

I've checked and double checked
it on a stress simulator.

Face it, Masche.

This puppy's going ballistic.

As God as my witness,
this egg will survive.

[crowd yelling]

[music playing]

[shattering]

[crowd booing]

I have two words
for you, Masche--

liberal and arts.

Next.

Whatever happened
to the keg parties?

Come on, these guys are too
busy discovering cold fusion

and a better egg carton.

And synthetic heroin.

I think you have
some admirers.

[faint whispering]

There's one woman to every
men on this campus,

and it's good.

Oh.

[faint whispering]

[music playing]
- Excuse me.

Where'd you transfer from?

MIT.

That explains everything.

Courtney.

Tom.

Everybody calls
me Cortex, though.

Great.

Hey, Poole.

Cortex.

Bienvenidos, little buddy.

Thanks.

Say hi to Tom.

Hi, Tom.

Did you get a chance
to get those readouts

from the mass spectrometer?

Yeah.

Got it right here.

You are a -year-old god.

Poole's a genius.

He gets these
freelance research jobs

from little tech
companies, and he

farms out the overflow to us.

Does he want to do
a little research,

make a little extra beer money?

I'm saving myself
for Dow Chemical.

You've been spotted.

Stay away from that guy.

Major league sleaze.

Mind if we join you?

Actually, I--

Hey, can't you see the
lady's trying to study?

Shoo.

Go.

They don't have a clue.

Elliot Masche, comp sci.

Judy Hamilton, NI.

NI?

- Not interested.
- Yeah.

Right.

How do you feel about Gershwin?

Maybe I didn't
make myself clear.

I hold in my hand
two tickets to see

Michael Feinstein at
the Arlington Downtown,

a full Gershwin retrospective.

What do you say to that?

Is that a dickey
you're wearing?

Take this home with you.

Look at it.

Touch it.

Be with it.

OK, dude.
See you.

Bye.

You're new.

Oh, great.

Let's start with the MIT jokes.

No jokes.

You just look a little
more adventurous

than the average guy
around here, Tom.

How do you know my name?

It's my business
to know things.

Is that right?

That's right.

So, what do you say?

You looking for a little
excitement in your life?

What do you got in mind?

Well, actually, I don't have
my stuff with me right now,

but if you meet me behind
the dorms at o'clock

tomorrow night, we
can get into it.

All right.

OK.

- , then.

- .

- .

[music playing]

It's too easy.

The guy had, like, a
big flashing arrest

me sign on his forehead.

Yeah, but did
he mention dr*gs?

He asked me if I was looking
for a little excitement

in my life.

Maybe he was from
the chess club.

Judy, it is so good
to see you tonight.

Would you excuse us?

Oh, no.

Guys, please stay.

No, Judy, I, uh--

I got homework.

Yes.

Thanks, fellas.

You look uncommonly
lovely this evening.

The sooner you guys can
give me those Nasco readouts,

the sooner I can
get us some money.

Later.
[music playing]

The last time I
saw her, she was--

Yes.

A medium--

Excuse me, sir.

We were here first.

Hey, they don't sell
that moo goo goo goo here.

But I see they
still serve idiots.

What did you say, zipper head?

I will not be
intimidated by you.

Yeah?

[smack]

You OK?

[non-english speech]

[music playing]

[siren wailing in distance]

POOLE: Are you a smoker?

Yeah.

Are you the man?

Yeah, I'm the man.

And I'm a smoker.

Let's do business.

I just have to ask you
a few questions first.

[music playing]

I'm sorry.

He just doesn't fit the
drug dealer profile.

Why, because he's
a foreign student?

I mean, we're not talking about
a regular drug dealer here.

We're talking
about a chemist who

knows how to
manufacture variations

in the methylfentanyl.

There are dozens of people
around here like that.

This guy acts like he's
got me made for a cop, Judy,

and it's got him nervous.

OK, that's his locker.

I know.

I promise I'm not going to
ask you to do this again.

You owe me big time.

OK, OK.

Come on.

That's absurd.

The Schrodinger postulate
was disproven years ago.

By whom?

Mrs. Schrodinger.

Prove it, and you've
got yourself a brand

new box of floppy disks.

You're on.

Now, if I could just
find that journal.

Excuse me, Judy.

Funny you should mention about
that Schrodinger journal.

You know, just yesterday,
I was looking--

[chattering]

[music playing]

Hiya, toots.

How ya doing, babe?

Come on.

Come on.

Atta girl.

Come on.

Be sweet.

That's it.

It's just a rat, man.

You saw it in your
dorm room, you'd work

it over with a baseball bat.

That's different.

Are we expanding the frontiers
of human understanding?

No, sir.

We're trying to make a buck.

Good.

I was worried
there for a second.

I don't think Tom there
approves of animal research.

What's a few rats to the
crossing of the frontiers

of human understanding?

What, are you in search
of some great truth?

There is no truth,
only knowledge.

You don't really believe that.

I'm not here to believe,
I'm here to think.

You know what Huxley
said about truth.

He said, irrationally
based truths are more

harmful than reasoned errors.

Reasoned errors?

Is that like the H-b*mb?

When can you have
this ready for me?

Tomorrow.

Just remember you need to
have it done before ditch day.

All right.

Come on, Tom.

Let's go get a bite.

Well, I'd like to, but
I've got to be somewhere.

The second I looked at you,
I knew you were different.

Most of these guys--

most of these guys would be
content working for IBM or RAM

for the rest of their
lives, but you want more.

Am I wrong?

No.

What you mean, no?

No, you're not wrong.

Oh OK.

Because we need
guys like you, guys

with certain specialized
technical skills and street

smarts.

Do you have the stuff?

You like to cut right
through the bull, don't you?

I like that.

I guess I don't
need to tell you.

Be a little discreet.

How much do I owe you?

Tommy, if this works
out, I'll owe you.

- .

- .

The CIA?

Yeah.

You know, travel
to exotic places,

meet interesting
people, and k*ll them.

I hate those guys.

Well, at least we can
cross him out as a suspect.

That's one.

What's going on with
the Chinese connection?

Well, he's obviously shook up,
but if I try a direct approach,

I might get him to spill.

[car honking]

If you two leave, I will
find you, and I will sh**t you.

Do you hear me?

Judy.
Judy.

Judy.

Elliot, what did I tell you?

When?

Last night, right
after you tried to shove

the gold chain into my purse.

I don't recall.

I told you I was establishing
a yard perimeter

around my purse, and that
we were going to call

that the Elliott free zone.

Remember?

Judy, do you really
think we should

be airing out our dirty
unmentionables in public?

I really have to go.

Catch you later, Judy.

Nice guys.

Elliott, up to this point, I
have been motivated by a desire

to spare your feelings,
but I realize now

that I've been worrying
about wounding a rhinoceros

with a pea sh**t.

I love the way
your mind works.

Look, I know this is going
to be hard for you to believe,

so I want you to listen
to me very carefully.

I am not attracted to you.

I find you repellent.

I want you to leave me alone.

Have I made myself clear?

Let's take a ride
and talk this over.

[groaning]

That's a MG TC.

It's perfectly restored.

It's pristine.

It's my most beloved possession.

Well, maybe my second most.

Elliot, seek help.

What?

[knocking on door]

[door slamming]

[knocking on door]

I'm not going anywhere.

I know who you are,
and you can't stop

me from doing what I'm doing.

You'll have to k*ll me.

What?

Tell them that
you have failed.

Who?

Your masters in Beijing.

[door slamming]

[music playing]

And you still thought I was
working for the government,

even though I'm not Chinese?

I thought that maybe
they had recruited

you out of one of the Vietnamese
refugee camps in Hong Kong.

You're kidding.

You don't know the pressure
that's been put on us here.

You begin to suspect everyone.

What kind of threats
have been made against you?

Just after the
m*ssacre at Tiananmen,

those of us who were faxing
and broadcasting information

back home received
these letters.

I can't read Chinese.

The Party is proud of
your scholarly achievements

in the United States,
and is looking

forward to your
return at the end

of the current academic year.

That doesn't sound
much like a thr*at to me.

We weren't scheduled
to return home this year.

Only those of us who were
involved in the movement

received these letters.

They want to bring us
back to rehabilitate us.

Rehabilitate you.

The entire freshman
class at Beijing University

is serving two years
in the Chinese army.

Look, you're in America.

They can't just-- the
American government

won't let it happen to you.

Right after the m*ssacre,
the Beijing students

were on every front page
and every television program

in America.

Now, the media has moved
on to other stories.

Business as usual.

As they say, the business
of America is business,

and a billion people can
buy a lot of soda pop.

Well, I didn't gack.

Gack?

You know, throw up.

Happens all the time.

So that's good, right?

No.

It was a bum high.

What do you mean?

It was no good.

It just didn't cut it.
- What makes a good high?

I don't know
how to explain it.

Try this.

What is it?

It's an improved version
of what you had before.

Better living
through chemistry.

Exactly.

What do you think
is going to happen

to him if we don't do anything?

Well, what can we do?

We don't work for
the State Department.

He could get married
to an American citizen.

I didn't mean you.

What about him?

He's not the marrying kind.

He's CIA, silly.

He likes Hanson.

Maybe he'll help.

Those guys don't want to
get involved with anything

that doesn't stink.

Besides, who knows what
they'd want in return?

Aren't you being
a little harsh?

No.

Excuse me, but are you Judy?

Yes.

Why?

Well, I have a singing
telegram for you from Elliott.

No, please.

[note on a pitch pipe]

[beeping]

His name is Smoker.

They call it Parkinsonism.

It resembles the symptoms of
advanced Parkinson's disease.

He can't move.

He can't talk.

They found a vial of
fentanyl in his pocket.

Just like the guy in the car?

Yeah, but with a few subtle
differences, as if this guy's

still trying to
perfect his product.

You know, with a
$ , cash outlay

in chemicals and
equipment, a chemist

could produce $ billion
worth of methylfentanyl.

We've got to stop this guy
before he goes wide on us.

[beeping]

dr*gs?

Designer dr*gs?

What do I know about
designer dr*gs?

I'm not into dr*gs, man.

I smoked pot once.

I thought my dog was
trying to arrest me.

No, but would you
know how to take, like,

morphine and change
it chemically,

but make it do the same thing?

You're not trying to
get me to do something

I shouldn't be doing, are you?

No.

Well, I guess you'd try
synthesizing molecules that

were similar, then do
trial and error until you

duplicated that effect.

But if you synthesized
the molecules in the lab,

would you know what it was?

A molecule's a molecule.

Oh, bummer.

This is not a well rodent.

You're not going to go getting
sentimental on me, are you?

All you have is
the letter, right?

That doesn't mean they've
sent anyone after you.

It's something that
one feels, a presence.

You've taken a lot
on your shoulders.

Maybe it's the pressure.

I know the difference
between anxiety and danger.

I see it every day in my work.

You know, you've been on a
stakeout for a couple of days.

Next thing you know, you
start to anticipate things.

Everybody that walks
down the street

looks like a perpetrator.

I'm not imagining
things, Harry.

There are organizations
that can help you

with these kinds of things--

the ACLU, Amnesty International,
Christic Institute.

You don't understand.

These people aren't concerned
with public opinion,

only with maintaining power.

I just don't
think at this point

that you need to be afraid.

I'm not afraid,
but I am aware.

[music playing]

You know anything about
this ditch day thing?

Some kind of a tradition.

All of the seniors are
supposed to leave the campus

for the day, and
the underclassmen,

they're supposed to try
to break into their rooms.

You know, they've got
to solve these puzzles

and math equations or something
like that to get the room keys.

They call them stacks.

Well, maybe this would
be a good chance to get

a look into Poole's room.

You think Poole's our guy?

What time was he
supposed to be here?

Don't worry, he'll be here.

I hate doing this.

Well, you asked me to ask him.

Desperate situations
require desperate measures.

Oh, here he comes.

I'm a little bit
disappointed in you.

You weren't entirely candid with
me, were you, Officer Hanson?

All right, we're undercover.

I'm sure you can
appreciate that.

That's all well and good,
Tom, but a relationship

has to be based on honesty.

Honesty?

You're a spy.

Isn't that the pot
calling the kettle covert?

He didn't mean that.

What do you think
the boys at Langley

would say if they
found out I tried

to recruit an undercover cop?

They'd harass me for
the rest of my life.

And Tom, I'm not the sort of guy
who deals well with ridicule.

I'm sorry.

Accepted.

All right, about
the situation.

Sangwa is a Chinese national--

I know the situation.

You do?

Can you help him?

We can go
operational with him.

That way, he'd be
under our protection.

Operational?

Yeah, he can come work for us.

- Let's go.
- Come on.

Come on.
Pull it.

You've got a chip on
your shoulder, don't you?

Well, excuse me.

Look, there's nothing I can
do in an official capacity,

but since I like
you guys and we're

all Americans here,
how about if I give you

a little bit of information?

And what might that be?

The name of the Chinese
operative on this campus

who's harassing your friend.

Hey, Poole.

Poole, how come none
of us ever get to see

what the other guys are doing?

What do you think?

Come on, think.

What is it that I get
by being the only one

who has all of the information?

Power.

And power rules the regime.

Next year, I'll be gone.

It'll be someone else's regime.

If you use your head,
maybe it can be yours.

Yeah, but I was
just wondering--

Don't wonder so much.

Besides, you should get used to
knowing only your little part

of the project.

That's how it works at
Lockheed, Douglas, Hughes,

all of the places where
you might wind up.

I just think that
maybe, we have a right--

Look, it's ditch day tomorrow,
and I want to finish my stacks.

Do me a favor.

Take these over to Dickstein's.

Tell him I need the
compounds by tomorrow night.

Now, please.

[music playing]

Research subject
statements in this area

have proven anecdotal,
and therefore, unreliable.

In order to complete the
research phase of this product,

it is necessary to have some
subjective understanding

of its consumer appeal.

[music playing]

[car driving by]

[door slamming]

Hello, Elliot.

Judy, I know you're not
going to be able to resist

trying to get into my room.

You know me so well.

There is a small--

wait, who am I kidding?

There is a fabulous token
of my affection in there

with your name engraved on
it if you manage to get in.

What do you mean if
I manage to get in?

I could've made
it easier for you,

but I didn't want to diminish
the thrill of the pursuit.

Elliot, wild horses couldn't
keep me out of your room.

I know.

MAN: Come on, Elliot.

The guys said they're
going to leave without you

if you don't hurry up.

You guys ready?

Well, let the games begin.

[music - devo, "whip it"]

DEVO (SINGING): cr*ck that whip.

CORTEX: I don't know.

I feel weird about
invading his privacy.

Come on.

Poole would want you to
try and get into his room.

He's got the toughest stacks.

We'll never get in.

I guess you're right.

I mean, after all,
you're only .

What's that supposed to mean?

Don't worry.
I'll do it.

I'll take care of it.

Fine, take care
of this yourself.

You'll never get in without me.

[papers rustling]

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's OK.

Hey, aren't you,
uh, Sangwa's friend?

Yes.

What's your major?

Organic chemistry.

Perfect.

You're my partner.

So I'm trying to
break into his room,

and his stack is all
about mutant isotopes.

I can't.

Wait, what do
you mean you can't?

I just have to do something.

Do something more
important than ditch day?

What are you, a secret
agent or something?

No, of course not.

Well, then, let's get to work.

It's a map of the campus.

What does the card say?

It's a calculus equation.

Let me see it.

Looks like it's a tracking
formula for an orbital ellipse.

Yes.

Yes, it does.

Oh, he has a you
are here sign marked

at the dorm and an ellipse
around the perimeter

of the campus.

Now, if we assume that this
storm is one of the foci,

that formula will give
us the other focus

on the map, which must be the
location of the next clue.

Obviously.

You want to work it out?

Go ahead.

Thanks.

[music - devo, "whip it"]

[clearing throat]

Did Anthony Poole
leave a message here?

To whom?

To whom it may concern.

CORTEX: Good thinking.

[music - devo, "whip it"]

We have to b*at him at poker?

I don't know
anything about poker.

Stand aside.

So what do you think, guys?

Are we going to be able
to figure this out?

- Piece of cake.
- Can of corn.

That's soup.

Masche is not a very
highly evolved thinker.

So can you give me some
kind of time estimate?

Half hour, tops.

OK, read me the numbers.

.

We'll try .

Next?

.

.

And seven, right?

That is correct.

After you.

[speaking chinese]

You know what's
happening here, Li.

[typing]

How much do you have left?

$ , , and we're
betting all of it.

Sheesh, you've only
got a pair of threes.

You ever heard of bluffing?

Yeah, but if you
lose, we're finished.

That's why they
call it gambling.

How dare you accuse me?

You are the
counter-revolutionary.

You are the traitor.

Your propaganda
doesn't impress me.

You didn't do this
out of ideology.

Tell me, Li, what
did they offer you?

Your own telephone?

An automobile?

The apartment of someone
that you turned in?

You don't know what
you're talking about.

In America, they have a
saying about corruption.

They say that it all
begins with a cigar.

They offered you a cigar,
and you took it, gladly.

You would have
done no differently.

You will be sorry, Sangwa.

I am sorry.

I thought you were a friend.

This is how things
are going to work.

I'm a police officer, and
I can arrest you right now

for breaking and entering,
malicious mischief,

and I can probably throw
in a civil rights violation

somewhere.

But I figured that
would get you in a lot

of hot water with your
boys back in Beijing,

so I'm going to help you out.

I'm going to let you get the
hell out of my country tonight.

I think we bought some time.

[typing]

OK, we've set him up.

He thinks we're bluffing again.

We'll make him chase us.

[typing]

He's going all in.

OK, sucker.

Let's see what you got.

A straight.

Say hello to Mr. Flash.

CORTEX: Yeah, baby
got new shoes.

We win.

Oh, wait, the clue.

OK, let's go.

[music - devo, "whip it"]

DEVO (SINGING): cr*ck that whip.

Give the past the slip.

Step on a cr*ck.

Break your momma's back.

When a problem comes
along, you must whip it.

Before the cream sits out
too long, you must whip it.

When something's going
wrong, you must whip it.

Now, whip it into shape.

Shape it up.

Get straight.

Go forward.

Tom.

DEVO (SINGING): Move ahead.

Tom, I don't want to rush
you, but, um, it's getting late.

Everybody will be back soon.

Yeah, I'll try to
hurry along for you.

[music - devo, "whip it"]

DEVO (SINGING):
You must whip it.

You will never live it
down, unless you whip it.

No one gets away,
until they whip it.

I say, whip it.

Whip it good.

Now, whip it into shape.

Shape it up.

Get straight.

Go forward.

Move ahead.

Try to detect it.

It's not too late to
whip it into shape.

Shape it up.

Get straight.

Go forward.

Move ahead.

Try to detect it.

It's not too late to whip it.

Whip it good.

[engine roaring]

MAN: It's calculated
already, man.

It should work.
Try it.

Try it.

I guess when you score
straight s on your SATs,

you don't think about things
like checking under doormats.

What fun would that be?

It's not there.

It's unlocked.

God.

[music playing]

Get back.

Get back.

[music playing]

His name is Poole, captain.

He was our chemist.

This ought to be a recipe
for the synthetic heroin.

Any more of the stuff around?

From what Cortex here
tells us, we don't think so.

And where does he
get this information?

He helped cook the stuff
up, but he-- he didn't know.

Was Poole a user?

No, he just didn't feel he
was getting enough information

from the street junkies.

You see, captain, there is
one big question that they

couldn't answer for him--

why?

[music playing]

Don't worry, you
have plenty of time.

Be sure to call my friends
if you need a place to stay.

Thank you.

My cousin says that
he has plenty of room

for me until I can
find a place of my own.

Well, when you get
settled in, let us

know how to get ahold of you.

As soon as I can
afford a new fax machine,

you'll be the first
people outside of China

that I contact.

Give me a minute.

Are you sure you
want to do this?

Once I get settled, I
can continue the struggle.

Then, I'll be OK.

I want to tell you
something, and, uh, I

don't want you to take it
the wrong way, all right?

Sure.

It might be a long time
before you can go home.

And America is a
great place to be,

but only if you let
yourself be here.

I mean, if your head
is somewhere else,

it can be real lonely.

Are you saying I should
forget about my country?

I'm just saying that
you may have to adjust.

It might turn out that--

well, that this
becomes your country.

And if you learn to accept it--

I appreciate your
concern, but China

will always be my country.

Wherever I may be, my
heart will be there.

I know you feel
that way now, but--

I will always feel that way.

In this country, everybody
bends with the wind.

I do not.

You have done a lot for, Harry.

You will always
have my friendship.

[music playing]

You think he's going to be OK?

[music playing]
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