05x18 - Crossfire

Episode transcripts for the TV show "21 Jump Street". Aired: April 12, 1987 –; April 27, 1991.*
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Series focuses on a squad of youthful-looking undercover police officers investigating crimes in high schools, colleges, and other teenage venues.
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05x18 - Crossfire

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, young stuff.

You know where there's a party?

What kind of party?

What kind of party
you know about?

It's so many.

You got to be specific.

You know what I'm saying?

You're a cop?

I'm a cop.

If that's what you
want, baby, I'm a cop.

Let's get together?

Together how?

I'm an old fashioned guy.

So you talking straight stuff?

Exactly.

I'll give you bucks.

Did I like, recall you
calling me young stuff?

.

Well, I like you so I'm
gonna give you a deal.

Oh, no, no, baby.
Not here.

I've been busted
twice this month.

Why don't you meet me
around the corner, OK?

How you doing there, Romeo?

- I know you?
- You do now.

Get up there.

Hey.

Hey, watch it.

Don't do it, jerk.

Hey, watch it,
watch it, watch it!

That'll teach you to
run from the police.

Get up.

[THEME - HOLLY ROBINSON,
" JUMP STREET THEME"]

THEME SONG: We
never thought we'd

find a place where we belong.

Don't have to stand alone.

We'll never let you fall.

Don't need permission to
decide what you believe.

Oh, I said jump,
down on Jump Street.

I said jump, down
on Jump Street.

Your friends will be there
when your back is to the wall.

You'll find you need us cause
there's no one else to call.

When it was hopeless, a
decision's what you need.

You'd better be ready
to, be ready to jump.

Jump Street.

Tata.

What is this lovely lady
doing in my bedroom?

Feeling very lucky.

You made me breakfast?

You cook?

What else don't
I know about you.

Well, you probably want
to taste it first before you

start calling it cooking.

You have time for breakfast?

I'll make time.

You wanna get that?

Got a machine.

Black lace.

I'm gonna hate when
you finish this job.

Me too if that
bust doesn't hold.

What do they need
you for anyway?

Don't you work teen detail?

Well, teens are
working the strip.

This week we busted johns,
next week the girls.

I'm late for school.

Oh.

The bus doesn't come for
two more hours, Krista.

Why don't you, uh, go down
to the kitchen and I'll

get your breakfast started.

- OK, daddy.
- OK, then.

Hi, Judy.

Hi, Krista.

I really wanted to be out
here before she got up.

Take care of yourself, OK?

OK.

Meet me for lunch?
- Look, daddy.

I spilled my milk.

Well, I think
we're going to have

to stick to the plastic
cups from now on, aren't we?

Mommy lets me
use real glasses.

At her house, fine.

One o'clock?

OK.

Mommy [inaudible]

Not now, Kris.

But she said to tell you.

I said not now, OK?

Just eat your breakfast before
you really are late for school.

- OK.
- OK.

See you later, Judy.
- All right.

Bye bye, Krista.
- Bye, Judie.

Kris.

Didn't I tell you not
to mention your mother,

especially in front of Judy?

Now, you know you
could really ruin

what I'm working on right now.

What are you working on?

Well, I'm working
on our future, baby.

OK?

Now just promise me that
you're not going to say

anything about your mommy.

She doesn't exist, especially
not for Judy, all right?

OK.

OK.

That's my girl.

That's my girl.

Oh, you were smooth
the other day, Jude.

That guy came around the corner.

He had no idea.

Haha, I had him
going, didn't I?

You two think you
can just come in late?

Pitstop at the music store
to celebrate Hoffs' bust,

thank you very much.

Well, you should have stopped
here, thank you very much.

The DA kicked your bust out.

What?

The john's attorney
just punched holes

all through your report, Jude.

I had that guy clean, captain.

Totally clean.

She did, captain.

Oh, and of course
you were both wired,

so that'll clear everything up.

There was no way she
could wear a wire with what

she was wearing, captain.

Look, he ran when Mac
tried to arrest him.

Is that a sign of
an innocent man?

Said he was afraid
of police brutality.

Please.

Look, in any case, guys, let's
hold off on the celebration

next time, huh?

Thanks for the advice.

I'm sorry, Jude.

Next time, huh?

- Thanks, Mac.
- Yeah.

Anyway.

Don't look at me.

I didn't fill out your report.

Nobody can put
everything on every report.

Hey, beautiful.

Hey.

Ready for lunch?

Yup.

Adam.

Josh.

Uh, could you drive?

My car got towed.

Towed?

Yeah, right out of the garage.

I must've parked in a red zone.

Oh yeah, you must have.

Uh, captain could I have a
word with you in your office?

Josh, we'll be right back, OK?

Mm-hmm.

All right, straight up,
now why don't you like him?

Straight up, the guy comes
up with too many stories.

[inaudible], car towed.

Come on.

Last week it was using
your mailing address.

But he's starting
a new business.

It's not easy.

You ever hear of, uh,
sweetheart swindlers?

What, guys who sweep
women off their feet

and then take them for--

come on, captain.

For everything they
own, car, property,

one little thing at a time.

Look, I've been seeing
this guy long enough

to know that he's not a thief.

Now just admit it.

You wouldn't trust
anyone I was seeing.

Not till he gave me reason to.

We're gonna go out to lunch.

I hope I'm wrong.

Oh, you are.

Don't try to hustle a hustler.

Just admit it.

Your captain doesn't like me.

Well, he's just protective.

Besides, what matters is
how I feel about you, right?

Well, if we're going to
have a future together,

there are some
other considerations

like my daughter, your friend.

What's the matter?

Well, it's only been six
months since your divorce.

Really?

You know I can't remember
a thing before I met you.

Come on, baby.

Cut the wrap.

I'm serious.

We haven't known each
other two months.

Yeah, I know, but
I have hopes for us.

Am I alone in that?

We wouldn't be spending the
nights together if I didn't.

Well, let's invite Captain
Fuller out to dinner

so he can get to know
you a little better.

I can turn them around.

Excuse me, sir, but your
credit card has been rejected.

What are you talking about?

It didn't clear, sir.

Well, did you call
the credit card company?

And they instructed
us to destroy the card.

Well, this is a
serious problem for me.

Uh, here.
Take mine.

There should be no problem.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

Fine.

Ha.

Captain's really
gonna love this one.

I got this, uh, this business
partner, ex-business partner,

and his partner
calls up all the time

and cancels my credit
cards at random.

It's like a payback
kind of thing.

You know, social
disgrace and all that.

I got this lawyer working on
it, a buck an hour guy,

and apparently
this kind of thing

is really hard to prove what
with the banks, and the credit

people, and the phone company.

It's just really hard to--

Look, I can deal with
anything but lies.

I'm not lying.

You Judy Hoffs?

In person.

Process server,
Superior Court.

I'm here with issuing you
a subpoena on complaint

in complaint number
, Robert Culligan

versus Judith Marie Hoffs.

Mac sent you, right?

No joke.

It's for entrapment.

Guy you busted for soliciting?

I entrapped him?

It's what he's saying.

Why did you come down
here to Jump Street?

Why didn't you just give
it to the DA to handle?

It's a civil suit.

DA's under no obligation
to take this case.

But he's got to
take this case.

I was on duty when it happened.

No, he doesn't have
to, Miss, not by law.

Well, that's crazy.

I can't afford a
private attorney.

Yeah, I understand.

Look, I got two more stops.

Evening.

And the department's
actually going to make

you pay for your own defense?

And court costs.

That's crazy.

Yeah, well that's what
Fuller's telling the DA.

I left a message for
him to call me here.

Oh, it hurts.

My whole body tightened up
after that process server.

Well, this ought
to loosen you up.

By next year.

As long as it takes.

Might not take
so long after all.

Where'd I find you?

In line at the
fourplex, remember?

Matinee, kids half price.

I remember.

You check on Krista?

Yeah, she's sound asleep.

Maybe we should, um,
go up to your room.

I like the sweater you got.

I like that.
New sweater?

Do you?

I asked the-- the
lady at the counter

if she had a sweater that
Judy Hoffs would like.

[knocking]

Who do you think's gonna be
at the door at this hour?

Just tell them we
don't want any, baby.

Are you Joshua
Calhoun Dorsett?

Yeah.

What can I do for you?

You're under arrest
for kidnapping, sir.

Where's the minor?
- What?

Hey, hey, don't touch my child--
hey, what are you doing, man?

I'm a police officer.

What's going on here?

I got a court order
from Family Division

to take this guy in.

Hey, you don't
have to cuff me, man.

Normal procedure.

I don't want anybody
touching my child.

Don't fight, Josh.

Daddy, is there
something bad wrong?

Don't worry about it, baby.
I'll take care of it.

Come on.

Judy, I need bail and
my lawyer, [inaudible]..

He's in the Rolodex.
- Don't worry.

I'll-- I'll take care of it.

And Joshua's being released?

They already brought
him up, Detective Hoffs.

- Listen, I'm sorry about any--
- It's OK.

It's forgotten.

JOSHUA: You're gonna ruin
everything for me, OK?

Are you glad?

YVONNE: Do you
realize how often you

characterize events of
feelings like blood with sad?

JOSHUA: Dammit, Yvonne.

I just want you
to promise you're

gonna cut this stuff out.

It's an adolescent
habit, Joshua.

Josh?

Judy.
Good.

Hi.

Hello, Judy.

Just back off, Yvonne.

Krista's mentioned you.

Hello.

You must be--

Josh's wife, yes.

Ex-wife.

Yvonne Andrews.

Can I talk to you tomorrow?

I don't know, Josh.

I'll think about it.
I paid your bail.

I'd appreciate a check
as soon as possible.

Tell, Daddy you'll see
him again on his night.

It was my night.

Judy, wait.

Yvonne, don't leave.

Judy.

Judy, would you at
least listen to me?

Look, just cut me
a check when you can.

OK?

My attorney is gonna
get the bail money back.

Yvonne asked me to take Krista.

I can't hand.

You got too many stories.

We are in a custody
battle over Krista.

Yvonne knows how to
work the court system.

She's a pro.

So you're saying
she set you up?

We have a hearing
in two months.

Every time I screw up,
she gets it on record.

This is her best sh*t yet.

Every time Krista
gets the sniffles,

I think I'm gonna
lose her for neglect.

So Yvonne's the ex-business
partner you were talking about?

Yeah.

I told you, I can't take lies.

I was actually trying to
protect you, protect us.

Well, this sure isn't the way.

You have got to keep
me in the light.

You've also got to write
me a check for the bail.

You're lucky I carry cash.

Yeah.

I'm lucky about a lot of things.

Late.

Private litigators
are always late.

Charge it off the clients.

I haven't thanked you yet
for agreeing to represent me.

Thank you, captain.

You wouldn't leave my office
Friday til I said yes.

I-- I read the
complaint this morning.

I mean, I really read it.

This John is trying to
sue me for $,.

Can he do that?

There's no limit
to punitive damages.

But I did not entrap the guy.

Punitive damages refer to his
loss of income and reputation

as a result of the initial bust.

He's a wedding photographer.

He's already lost some big
jobs due to the charge.

Well, you sound
like I could lose.

I'd have to sell my house
to make that payment.

That is the norm.

What does this guy
got against me anyway?

You got to understand
something about law,

you're never up
against the other guy.

You're up against his attorney.

OK.

Well, what's his attorney?

Some politico whose
got it in for a cop?

Have you ever tried
a case against him?

Best trial attorney
I've ever lost to.

And it's a woman, not a man.

Barracuda by the name
of Yvonne Andrews.

YVONNE: Detective Hoffs.

Hello.

Yvonne.

You two know one another?

We have a mutual friend.

And I have a few
questions for you both.

Can she do that, represent
the John against me?

Isn't that some kind of conflict
of interest or something?

No.

The only conflict is that you
are dating her ex-husband.

I mean, you want to get
rid of the conflict,

then you quit dating the man.

That's exactly what she wants.

Hoffs, the DA
tells me this woman

is not someone you trifle with.

This woman finagled my
name from her daughter

so she could get
into my business.

Does that sound like
a good mother to you?

Motherhood is
not the issue here.

Your house mortgage is.

Great.

You walked out of a deposition.

Any idea how
unprofessional that--

But they agreed to postpone.

We don't need any
strikes against us, not

with Yvonne Andrews.
- Look, I see her husband, OK?

Her ex-husband.

Fuller, you told me
this case would be simple.

Yeah, well, it's taken on
a few wrinkles, I admit.

I told you at my office,
I don't want a loser.

Look, Alan, what
we need is a witness

to the scene of a crime, right?

Preferably one that
doesn't have a record as long

as my adult life.

I'm just drawing
blanks from that day.

Well, you get back
to your depo, OK?

I'm.

Going

Small favor.

Dig me up a witness.

I have a promotion
to worry about.

Mac, Mac, just the
man I want to see.

Yes, sir.

Listen, I'm gonna need some
outside work on the Hoffs case.

OK?
- OK.

I'm your man.
I'll be back in a second.

It's not even lunchtime yet.

Hi.

How you doing?

Who are you?

Who am I?

Oh, I'm your friendly
police officer.

So what do you got there in
the jacket of yours, huh?

Take these from the store?

Gifts for my mother.

For your mother, huh?

Mhm.

I'll tell you what, you're
gonna return these, OK?

And I'm not gonna haul
your butt in if you

give me some information.

- All ears.
- All right.

Now, I'm looking
for this hooker.

She's a teenager.

She's the country club type.

She was here last Friday night.
- Yeah, right.

That'd be Blair.

All right.

Where do I find her?

She finds you.

She takes the CTS in
from out of the Heights.

Hey, no joke.

She's a private school girl.

Comes into town for tricks,
just tricks the lookers.

In fact, you might just be
good looking enough for her

to trick you.
- Yeah.

Well, I'm thrilled right
down to my aftershave.

What bus is she taking?

I don't know.

Are we camping here, Daddy?

In the mountains, after
Judy's finished with her case.

We're just practicing.

We don't want to be figuring
this out in the snow, you know?

Sure you guys don't want
to take a Club Med vacation?

Warm beds, room service?

You know, I worry
about you at the hearing.

Yeah, you should.

After that depo, I didn't
know if I was coming or going.

Yeah.

She's one shrewd lady.

Who is shrewd, Daddy?

Nobody, baby.

But the DA coached me.

I'll be fine at the hearing.

You mean Mommy, don't you?

Shrewd means smart, honey.

And your mommy is
a very smart woman.

I know.

She told me she works with you.

When did Mommy say that?

KRISTA: When I was at her house.

Well, Krista, your mommy and
I are working together, kind of,

but we're working on
a case and we probably

shouldn't talk about it.

Why don't we go get some
hot chocolate and dessert?

Want to walk down to the corner?

Hey, that sounds
like a great idea.

What do you say, Krista?

With whipped cream?

Yes.

I'll get your coat.

Got to get mine.

Come on out.

Let's put on your coat.

There we go.

Mommy said she's gonna work
with you for a long time.

She did, huh?

Well, let me zip you up.

Chin up.

She said, she's
gonna make you wishes.

Really?

What kind of wishes?

I forget.

One was you you wish you
didn't ever know Daddy.

So are my two favorite
girls ready to go?

So you understand, Ms.
Hoffs, that the purpose

of this hearing is simply
to determine if there are

enough facts to warrant
going ahead with the trial

and Mr. Culligan's complaint?

I do.

Good.

Counselor.

Isn't it true,
Detective Offs, that you

have not had what is referred
to as a bust in five weeks?

Well, I'm not exactly sure.

YVONNE: No need to wonder.

You have not arrested
and convicted

a perpetrator in five
weeks and three days,

which is far below the
department's quota.

We don't have quotas.

YVONNE: Not officially.

But didn't you say
to someone recently

that you would, quote,
hate the job to finish

without getting a bust?

I know where you got that.

Hearsay, Your Honor.

So it is.

Moving along.

Ms. Hoffs, when you approached
my client on the street--

JUDY: He approached me.

YVONNE: Did you offer him
a specific favor of sex?

No.

Thank you.

Were you recently involved in
a case of sexual harassment?

What?

No.

Yes, about two years ago.

An accountant for the city
was harassing me, Your Honor,

and he admitted to it.

You were dating
him, weren't you,

a married man by the name of--

I didn't know he was married.

He--

This has no bearing
on the case at hand.

Counselor Andrews, you've got
seconds to get to the point.

And it better be relevant.

Ms. Hoffs, after your
r*pe of three years ago,

you consulted a therapist.

I'd like to ask you--

That's nobody's business.

This is out of hand.

It was asked at the
depo yesterday and--

As irrelevant, yes.

Tie it all
together Ms. Andrews,

or I'm gonna pull the plug.

Your Honor, my reason for
bringing Ms. Hoff's misfortunes

up is to show that
she has experienced

sexist, malicious, and in fact
violent treatment from men.

But my client is paying
for her misfortunes.

Bring it into focus.

Ms. Hoffs used her position
as an undercover prost*tute

to pay back what those
men have done to her.

And she has entrapped
an innocent man--

Oh, come off it, Yvonne,
you're just messing with me

because I'm seeing your man.

Tell the judge.

Your Honor, I will of course
only address matters of law

here.

My deep gratitude,
Ms. Andrews.

If I learn of any concrete
proof that you are prosecuting

this case for any
personal motive,

not only will I substitute
you out of this case,

I'll have you disbarred.

That said, I think we've
got enough for a trial.

I'll remand the
matter over as such.

Consult the calendar
clerk for particulars.

Where are they?

Where are they?

Yo, yo, one step at a time.

If I'm five minutes
late picking up Krista,

his ex gets it in the
custody papers, Captain.

Why can't he pick her up?

A business meeting came up.

He could close his whole deal.

Where are my keys?

Hey.

Things that bad today?

She took all my nightmares
and made them public.

I don't know.

I guess she feels
really invaded, me being

at her place or something.

Look, maybe Josh is
OK, but I wish you'd ease

up with him, temporarily, huh?

Trial's only gonna be worse.

Deluca's a good
attorney, Captain.

He called today, said you
were a loose cannon in court.

Says it's impossible
to represent you.

He's dropping me?

Wants to see you in his office
first thing in the morning.

I'm late.

We've got an
eyewitness who saw

you thr*aten the victim too.

No.
No.

I never-- come on.

- Mac, you dig up our witness?
- Yeah.

Her name's Blair.

She's buses in town for fun.

I'm gonna go shake
her down right now.

Yeah.

Well, no screw
ups, this time, OK?

I'll be wearing
a wire, Captain.

You're looking fine.

Have you always
been this pretty?

I was an ugly kid actually.

Parents sent me to school
with a bag over my head.

But now, I'm all grown up.

You're looking fine.

Want to party?

I'd love to, if you weren't
an officer of the law.

I saw your man get
away last week.

Did they teach you to run
like that in police school?

Looks like you're losing more
than a soliciting bust here.

Yeah, well, I thought
I'd make a deal.

I drop the bust if you testify.

Look, you saw what
went down, all right?

You saw the girl.

You saw the John.

You could testify for us.

Court?

I don't think so.

Well, maybe I'll tell
your parents where you're

spending your school nights.

If you could catch them
between trips to the Hamptons,

I'll pay you to tell them.

Poor little rich girl, huh?

I hate being a cliche.

See you at the policeman's ball.

My pants host it every year.

Hi, Krista.

Hi, Judy.

Mommy's here.

I thought this was
Josh's night with Krista.

He asked me to pick her up.

You're very helpful.

I try to be.

I wanted to tell you, I
hope I wasn't too hard on you

in court today.

Krista, why don't you
run over there and get me

some water from the cooler, OK?

OK.
In a cup?

Yes.

In a cup.

I'm gonna ask you just this,
don't use your daughter

against me in this case.

I was pregnant with
Krista while I was putting

Josh's first business together.

He was finished with
me by the time he sold

that company for a nice profit.

But he is not going
to get my daughter.

That's between Josh and you.

And you think
Josh should prevail?

I used to defend him
to everybody too,

before I realized he always
had a girlfriend on the side.

Why do you think I don't want
my daughter living with him?

Of course you're
gonna say these things.

You had a bad divorce.

I can hear Josh,
so convincing.

That's what makes
him a good salesman.

Josh is not
selling me anything.

Really?

Why do you think his car
was towed from his office

last week?

Joshua doesn't pay his debts.

Charming habit.

I bet you're driving him around
until he gets it out of hock.

Let me guess why he sent
you to pick Krista up,

unexpected business meeting?

Can close the whole deal.

Hey.

How's my little girl?

Hi, Daddy.

Hi.

OK.

Check this out.

These are for you.

These are for you.

No forks allowed.

Chopsticks?

Yeah, I plugged in
that wok Judy gave me.

We're gonna sit down.

We're gonna have
a good hot meal.

You're gonna forget about
what happened in court today.

No one's gonna mention
that woman's name.

That's good.

A new cologne you're wearing?

Yeah.

You noticed.

I'm gonna take a bath tub.

JOSHUA: OK.

Don't run any water unless
one of us is up there.

OK, Daddy.

OK, [inaudible].

Josh, where was your
business meeting tonight?

It was on the west end.

I think I got some
guys to back my venture

and I'm gonna get a trust
going for my daughter's

college tuition.

And get your car out of hock?

Yvonne said you missed a
few payments and that's

why your car was towed.

Well, actually, Yvonne
stopped the payment.

It's her cute way of letting
me know that she knows

what I'm doing with my nights.

A repo man took it out of
the driveway that night.

How can Yvonne stop
payments on your checks?

Well, you know, it's amazing
what you can do once you've

been married to somebody.

All this came up in court today?

She was at school.

She also said you played around
on her while you were married.

Well, after I
filed for divorce,

I hadn't moved out yet.

And I guess your first
company was well on its way

by then, huh?

Look, Yvonne insisted I let
her put my company together.

She said I'd lose
all of our savings

if I was left to my own devices.

I never asked her
to work for me.

You don't believe me.

You both sound so convincing.

I mean, I feel like I walked
into the middle of some game.

You guys are fine.

I'm the one who doesn't fit.

You are the best thing that
has ever walked into my life.

I'm trying to present
myself as a guy with no--

with no games, no
luggage, no trouble.

What I got is trouble.

What?

Fuller tried to tell me.

Fuller.

Fuller is wrong.

They're all wrong.

Please, believe me.

KRISTA: Can I turn
on the water, Daddy?

Yeah.

I'll be right there, sweetheart.

Just stay here for
five minutes, OK?

I'll be right back.

[inaudible]

You like water a lot, don't you?

Come here.

Give me that towel.

ALAN: So I have
your word on this?

No more outbursts
on the stand.

Juries punish bad behavior.

Dirty little secrets
of the justice system.

And about this
guy you're seeing.

I figured we'd get to that.

You want to date
the tiger lady's ex?

OK.

But you risk getting emotional
on the stand because of it.

As your attorney, I
suggest you don't see him,

at least til this is over.

How well do attorneys
know one another?

Clients rarely ask the
question they want to ask.

Like with cops, for
example, in other precincts,

you know, sometimes we
don't know each other,

but we know what's going on,
health, money trouble, divorce.

Yvonne Andrews has
had a bad marriage

since she found the bar.

That's what the word was anyway.

It's the husband you
want to know about.

I trust him and
then I talk to her.

This gonna make you
behave any better at trial?

Well, I don't know if
it's true, of course,

but I always heard
he was a good guy.

Yvonne basically dumped
him for her career.

He took up with some lady.

She torpedoed that.

He keeps trying to
get on with his life,

she keeps going after him,
uses the kid as amm*nit*on.

But I guess you know all
about that end of it.

What are his chances
in a custody battle?

Depends on a lot of things.

Don't be a lawyer.

I don't suppose I'm gonna
get paid for this advice?

Let's start with the
worst case scenario.

[inaudible]

Are you kidding me?

With my eyes closed.

Is that the way you've been
running your investigation?

All right, Captain,
put the claws in.

Look, I've been trying
to land this debutante--

It doesn't make any sense.

Explain to me as a
real estate agent

how a house I bought
only a year ago

can be worth that little today?

Depressed market?

Yeah, it's depressing.

If I sell my house, I
actually lose money.

Is Hoff's trial today?

Which is why I've
got my claws out.

Look, if you don't
get that witness--

I can't afford to do that.

No.
No.

You want to know what I
think about your assets

and liabilities column?

You could take your columns
to fold them five ways

and then you-- hello?

Hello?

Not a good thing, Captain.

Listen, I'm gonna tell you
how to handle that debutante.

Now, you're gonna say, no way.

You're gonna laugh,
but trust an old hand.

BAILIFF: All rise for the
honorable Emmett Harrison,

judge presiding.

This hot dog stand
grimy enough for you?

Never seen worse.

So situation is I can't
scare you into testifying.

I thought you were gonna
tell me something new.

My partner is not
much older than you are

and she doesn't
have rich parents.

She's worked hard her whole life
just to buy this little track

house out in the flats.

And she could lose all that,
unless you talk for her today.

Go on.

I'm appealing to
your basic humanity.

My basic humanity?

OK, OK, OK.

How about this?

I think I got an idea
that'll make us both happy.

Is it not true,
Ms. Hoffs, that you

suggested a specific
sexual act to my client?

Yes.

No.

Yes, it's not true.

Counsel is trying
to confuse my client

with obfuscating questions.

Have a seat, Mr. Deluca.

No more word play, Ms. Andrews.

Under oath, Ms.
Hoffs, you did not

suggest a specific sexual
favor to my client?

Yes, to clarify his request.

He asked first.

He was just walking down the
street and spat out a request

to you?

Well, he can say he didn't,
but it's his word against mine.

Will you stake your
reputation on that?

I will.

Good.

Because we're about to
delve into Detective Hoff's

reputation, ladies
and gentlemen.

And you'll find that
she had ample reason,

both personally
and professionally,

to have entrapped my client.

Request for a recess.

Denied.

Let's push through to the end.

But Your Honor, it
is incumbent upon--

To the end, Mr. Deluca.

Ms. Hoffs, let's start with
this particular entrapment

case and work backwards.

[door open]

Your Honor, I'd like
a moment to converse

with this individual.

She may be a material witness.

Old humanity appeal,
worked, huh, Mac?

No.

I-- I promised her I'd be her
date at the policeman's ball.

That's great.

How did you get her here?

Well, apparently our
folks sponsor the ball,

know what I mean?

So I told her it'd
PO them if she

brought in a blue collar cop.

Promised her I'd chew gum,
you know, I'd tip the butler,

spit on the dance floor.

Good work, I think.

If I may Your Honor,
I'd like to call

a new witness to the stand.

We'd like a recess to
discuss the facts in chambers,

if it pleases the court.

Recess in chambers.

Nobody leave the premises.

I heard.

Congratulations.
- Take us to the theater?

JOSHUA: To celebrate.

And then-- and then,
what did you have in mind?

I was thinking maybe my house.

Well, that wouldn't look too
good for your custody hearing,

us sharing a bed while your
daughter's in the house.

We've never flaunted anything.

Yvonne'll twist things.

You break us up, you're
doing exactly what she wants.

I'm doing what's
best for your daughter.

So am I.

You're good for her
and you're good for me.

We could have a
life together, Judy.

Not if you screw up
this custody hearing.

Your attorney has had
to mention it to you.

Before I met you, yeah.

You lose Krista, who
are you gonna blame?

Tell me I'm wrong.

I can't.

I know.

So you believe we can pick
things up after a long break?

Personally, I have
never seen it happen.

Me neither.

You're gonna get some
phone calls probably,

school mornings,
holidays for sure.

No one else is gonna be on
the other end of the line.

But it'll be me, saying I wish--

I wish it could've been.

I'll be waiting by the phone.

We might as well
start with today's menu.

OK.

Nice of you to show up, pal.

Sorry, Captain.

I had a tough time last night.

What's with the--

I'm going under.

I thought you took Blair to the
policeman's ball last night?

- I did.
- How was it?

It was good.

I had a good time.

I'm gonna get some
coffee though.

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Tell us about it, man.

I mean, did you embarrass
everybody, spit on the floor,

tip to Butler, chew gum?
- Yeah.

You should've been
there, Captain.

Mac, what's wrong
with your neck?

There's nothing
wrong with my neck.

Then, why do you
keep going like this?

What?
What?

It's a Hickey.

It's not a hickey.

Love's bite, passion kiss.

It's a hickey.
- All right.

All right.

Let's just keep
it between us, OK?

Blair did that?

No, Blair didn't do that.

So what?

You run into a
giant suction cup?

That's funny,
Captain, very funny.

You guys-- you guys really want
to know what happened, huh?

We want to know.

OK.

I was out on the veranda
dancing with Blair's mother,

right?

And I'm telling her how I had
this great deal of respect

for her daughter, right?

And this goes right by her.

So she asked me if I've
ever seen this movie called

"The Graduate" and I said, no.

You know, I've never
seen this movie.

The next thing I know,
she's planting her suction

cup lips right here on my neck.

And I'm thinking, the pressure
is gonna suck the blood out

of my veins, right?

So finally, after about a
count, she comes up for air

and she gives me this
number and says call

her and ask for Mrs. Robinson.

Man, you just better be glad
you got out of there alive.

Well, in the meantime,
I got to nurse this wound,

you know what I'm saying?

Oh, well, I might
have something for that.

Here, just a little concealer.

No.

I don't want any concealer.

No.

[music playing]
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