07x24 - I'm Yorozuya and He's Shinsengumi

[bunniefuu]

Gin: Y-Yo.

Gin: O-Otae...

Gin: Pardon the intrusion.

Tae: Gin-san? What's the matter?

Gin: Nothing. Just dropping by on the way home from pachinko.

Hij: Hey! Why are you drooling?

Tae: My, that's unusual.

Gin: Wait, it is?

Tae: What?

Gin: Huh?

Gin: W-Well, uh...

Gin: I got this sudden urge to see you.

Hij: Gin-san wouldn't say that!

Tae: Uh, Gin-san, what are you saying?

Tae: Did you eat something bad?

Hij: sh**t. I don't know how close these two are.

Hij: Are they more distant?

Gin: D-Don't get the wrong idea.

Gin: I might've wanted to see you, but that doesn't mean I'm interested in you.

Gin: I just wanted to get a look at your moronic mug.

Gin: Seriously, don't get the wrong idea.

Hij: What are you, a tsundere?!

Hij: What the hell do you take me for?!

Tae: Listen, why did you come here, Gin-san?

Gin: I heard it through the grapevine, you see.

Gin: Apparently you brought something home?

Gin: I'll cut right to the chase.

Gin: Dump that loser

Gin: and go out with me.

Title: I'm Odd Jobs, and He's Shinsengumi

Gin: Dump that loser

Warning,Sign: Sakata Gintoki's (Hijikata Toshiro's) request: Watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.

Gin: and go out with me.

Hij: What do you think you're saying in my body?

Gin: This is the easiest way to split those two up.

Hij: Easy, my ass!

Hij: Think of all the problems I'd face after I go back to normal!

Tae: Um, Hijikata-san, what brings you here?

Hij: Sorry about that.

Hij: Forget everything he said.

Hij: Anyway, I heard all about it. That's harsh, you know.

Hij: You already have the Gori—

Hij: I mean, Kondo-san.

Gin: Why are your eyes rolled back? And what's with the crooked chin?

Hij: As the Shinsengumi vice chief, I can't let this slide.

Hij: I'll cut right to the chase.

Hij: Forget about the rotten cat and the rotten gorilla

Hij: and party all night with this demon right here.

Gin: You're doing the exact same thing!

Hij: An eye for an eye! No, two eyes for an eye!

Gin: Not even kowtowing will get you off the hook for this!

Gin: How dare you try to steal the chief's woman?!

Gin: Atone for your lack of discipline by committing su1c1de!

Tae: Stop it, you two.

Tae: Don't fight over me.

Gin: Things have gotten really messy now!

Tae: I had no idea you two felt that way.

Tae: Very well.

Tae: I'll choose between you two

Tae: by taking your yearly incomes and the like into account.

Tae: Give me a week to think it over.

Gin: That's not the point! We're telling you to dump that monster!

Tae: I can't do that.

Tae: If you want me, you'll have to be ready to accept Dozaemon-san as well.

Tae: I'm docking you a point for that, Gin-san.

Hij: You can take a hike, then. Just let me have Dozaemon-san.

Tae: You're cheating on me before we even start dating?

Tae: I'm docking you a point for that, Hijikata-san.

Tae: Come on. Are you two really up for this?

Tae: You'll never capture Otae-san's heart acting like that.

Bo: Th-This bitch!

Shin: Knock it off!

Shin: How could you bring all these men home while I wasn't around?!

Shin: I'm not going to let Gin-san, Hijikata-san, or Dozaemon-san have you!

Shin: Sis, you belong to me!

Hij: Sh-Shinpachi? You're back to normal...

Kon: You don't have to worry anymore, Toshi.

Kon: We heard the whole story.

Kon: Leave the rest to us.

Gin: K-Kondo-san!

Kon: Otae-san,

Kon: hurry up and escape with Shinpachi-kun!

Kon: This is a dangerous monster!

Kon: It's a living embodiment of evil, born from a certain man's ill intent!

Kon: We'll handle things here!

Tae: What are you planning to do to Dozaemon-san?

Shin: Just come with me! Hurry!

Tae: Let go!

Kon: Toshi! Odd Jobs!

Kon: Quick, get the cart from out front!

Kon: Before this thing wakes up,

Kon: we must take it to the Fully a*t*matic Egg-on-Rice Maker!

Kon: Get going!

Bo: I always believed you guys had it in you, even without a leader!

Hij: Huh?

Gin: There's nothing here.

Shin: What are you two doing?!

Shin: They got you hook, line, and sinker.

Hij: Shinpachi? Where are you?

Gin: I only hear his voice.

Shin: Those two...

Shin: Sis, this country is no longer safe!

Shin: Let's flee somewhere far away!

Shin: Yes, Otae-san, you and me... to an island for just the two of us!

Kon: Forgive me, Gin-san.

Kon: I didn't realize that you were the real Gin-san!

Kon: But I won't get it wrong anymore.

Kon: Just me and my pet...

Kon: No, it'll be a world for just you and your pet!

Shin: Those two

Shin: are Gorilla

Shin: and Sacchan inside!

Shin: We ended up swapping bodies, too.

Mad: This is no time to be standing around, Vice Chief!

Mad: It's me, Yamazaki!

Mad: At this rate, we won't be able

Mad: to go back to normal—

Ymz: We need to go after them immediately!

Shin: Put us on!

Tae: Let me go, Shin-chan!

Tae: Are you really Shin-chan?

Shin: Wh-What are you talking about, Otae-san?

Shin: I mean, Sis.

Shin: I'm your kid brother, Shimura Shinpachi!

Shin: Now I can see Otae-san up close and personal

Shin: in all sorts of different ways, and nobody can criticize me for it!

Tae: Let me go!

Tae: No.

Tae: You really aren't Shin-chan.

Shin: What are you saying, Otae-san?!

Kon: Looks like that Gorilla messed up.

Kon: Not surprising, considering he's an ape with % bananas for brains.

Kon: I won't screw up.

Kon: Gin-san's other half belongs to me.

Kon: After all, my brain is % filled with Gin-san's banana—

Cat: I hear it.

Cat: I hear milady screaming.

Kon: Gin-san!

Hij: You useless numbskulls!

Hij: Why did your egos end up inside glasses?

Hij: And what's with Hasegawa-san's body?!

Hij: He turned into a corpse the moment he lost his shades!

Shin: If you've got a problem, complain to Gengai-san instead!

Hij: Hey, look...

Ymz: Th-That's my body!

Ymz: Who is it? Who's in it?!

Ymz: Hey! Where are you going?

Hij: Is he taking us to that monster?

Gin: Who is that?

Gin: He's not saying a word, but he's a pretty useful Yamazaki now.

Ymz: I-I'm plenty useful myself, Vice Chief!

Gin: What's the matter?

Gin: Is something there, Yamazaki?

Ymz: No, that's not Yamazaki.

Please,Sign: Please clean up after me.

Gin: It's Sadaharu?!

Hij: I thought he was guiding us, but he was just looking for a place to poop!

Ymz: And what the hell is he doing with my body?!

Ymz: Don't look!

Gin: Do you guys really want to go back to normal?!

Ymz: Isn't that obvious?!

Ymz: Who on this planet would be happier as glasses or a dog?!

Sad: Hello, it's me.

Hat: Honey? What's this, all of a sudden?

Sad: I need to tell you something.

Hat: Is that really you, honey?

Hat: Your voice sounds different...

Sad: Nothing escapes you, does it?

Sad: Stay calm and hear me out, Hatsu.

Sad: Finally, finally...

Sad: I found a

Sad: new job.

Hij: We found a guy who was happy!

Hij: Why are you trying to take advantage of the switch by

Hij: getting a new career as my pet?!

Sad: Wait, Master. Hear me out.

Sad: Right now, my sense of smell is million times better than a human's.

Sad: With my nose, we could locate that monster!

Hij: Really?

Sad: Hang on a sec.

Sad: I'll lead you there once I'm done marking.

Hij: Hey, he's more useful now than he was as a human.

Hij: Maybe he'd be better off staying a dog.

Mad: All right, let's go.

Mad: Huh? My body won't move.

Mad: Wait, what?

Hij: Congrats on...

Gin: ...your new job.

Mad: This is what I was?!

Mad: Wait a second!

Mad: Don't leave me behind!

Ymz: Are you going to abandon me here, too?!

Gin: What the hell's going on?

Hij: Most of them have switched to careers in shady businesses dealing with poop.

Hij: How are we supposed to go back to normal like this?

Hij: Th-That's...

Tae: Guys!

Cat: I won't let anyone hurt milady!

Shin: Sis!

Hij: Damn it!

Hij: Those morons made the monster reawaken!

Hij: Who's that?

Kag: Got him!

Kag: Let us show him our combo move, Sou-kun!

Eliza ,Sign: You got it, Kagura-chan.

Kag: Here we go—

Liz: Who are you calling Sou-kun?!

Kat: She's not Kagura. She's Thickagura-chan.

Hij: They took it out!

Hij: Kagura!

Gin: Sogo!

Kag: Sou-kun! Hang in there!

Kag: This is awful! How could you do this?!

Liz: I'm telling you, quit clinging to him in my body!

Liz: Want me to k*ll you, Zura?!

Hij: Huh? That's Zura?

Kag: I'm not Zura. I'm Leader.

Eliza,Sign: I'm Elizabeth.

Soukun,Sign: I'm Sou-kun.

Kag: Accept your fates already, former Leader and former Sou-kun.

Kag: Now that it's come to this,

Kag: we must each play the roles we've been given to perfection.

Kag: The two of us as law-abiding citizens,

Kag: and the two of you as heinous t*rrorists.

Kag: You're the t*rror1st! Quit passing the buck for your crimes!

Kat: Shut up, Elizaretch. You're being unsightly.

Kag: You shut up, Trashura!

Kat: I'm not Trashura. I'm Sou-kun.

Kag: Can't you two get along?

Kag: Katsura and Elizabeth are supposed to be bosom buddies.

Kag: You won't be able to defeat us, the buddy duo,

Kag: or crush the bakufu like that.

Kag: I'm telling you, quit touching him!

Kag: It makes me sick!

Kag: Why do I have to team up with him?

Kag: Edo will seriously be destroyed!

Kat: That's the spirit, Elizaretch.

Kat: That's what makes a Joi Rebel.

Kag: I'm neither Elizaretch nor a Joi Rebel!

Kag: What are you, a Zura copycat?!

Kat: Cop or Joi Rebel...

Kat: It doesn't matter if our roles are reversed. Taking your head is still my goal.

Kat: Isn't that right, Katsura?

Kag: Now that's more like Katsura.

Kat: I'm not Katsura. I'm Sou-kun!

Kag: You're not Sou-kun. You're Katsura!

Hij: Hey! Quit complicating things!

Hij: What are you idiots even fighting about?!

Hij: Don't you know that this isn't the time for it?

Tae: Everyone...

Shin: Sis!

Tae: Please stop driving Dozaemon-san into a corner.

Tae: Why are you doing this? We just want to live in peace.

Tae: Also, you're all acting strange.

Tae: What happened to you?

Shin: Sis, this is—

Hij: Keep your mouth shut, Glasses. You'll only make things worse.

Gin: Otae, Dozaemon-san is actually someone's pet cat.

Gin: He may not remember it, but we need to return him to his owner.

Gin: Could you persuade him for us?

Tae: I won't hand Dozaemon-san over to you.

Tae: I would've believed you any other time, but you're all acting weird tonight.

Hij: Wh-What's so weird?

Kon: Yeah!

Kon: Stop making baseless accusations, Otae-san.

Kon: I don't know about the others, but Gin-san—

Kon: My Toshi's the same as ever!

Kon: Right, Toshi?

Hij: Shut it, biatch!

Tae: See? This is weird.

Hij: Wh-What do you mean?

Hij: You know Kondo-san and I are tight.

Hij: We're basically joined at the hip.

Tae: More like joined at the nip.

Hij: You might not have been aware, but this is how we are most of the time.

Hij: Honestly, the Shinsengumi is full of h*m*.

Hij: That's exactly why he fell for you—

Tae: Who are you calling a h*m*?!

Gin: C-Calm down, Otae.

Gin: Them being weird is nothing new, right?

Tae: They're weird with a capital W now!

Shin: Cut it out, Sis!

Shin: What's so wrong with siblings taking baths or sleeping together?!

Shin: Right, Toshi—

Shin: Gin-san?

Gin: Th-That's right.

Gin: Shinpachi lusting over you is nothing new.

Gin: All that brother and sister stuff doesn't matter.

Gin: He's in heat all year round.

Gin: Besides, what's the problem with two men taking a bath together—

Tae: Who are you calling a man?!

Cat: You filthy knaves.

Cat: Get away from milady.

Cat: She is my owner.

Cat: I'm not going anywhere!

Hij: Just how much has that dumbass taken to her?

Gin: We don't have a choice anymore.

Gin: We're gonna have to drag your ego out of him by force.

Hij: Can we?

Shin: Yes, we can.

Shin: Although our bodies and minds are all over the place,

Shin: we have a common goal this time.

Shin: We are one organization,

Shin: whose two leaders taught us all about freedom and discipline.

Bo: That so?

Bo: Then he can pay your wages.

Gin: Let's do this, you louts!

Hij: Take back our real bodies!

Tae: Stop!

Hij: Shinpachi!

Shin: Go!

Shin: Sis, open your eyes wide and take a good look!

Shin: Our bodies and minds are all over the place now,

Shin: but that's exactly why we weren't fixated on appearances alone

Shin: and managed to find our true leaders,

Shin: our true colors!

Tae: Wh-What's this?

Shin: I won't be led astray anymore!

Kon: Even if I were to turn into an incestuous pervert!

Shin: You were always a pervert!

Kon: Even if I were

Sac: to turn into a disgraceful stalker!

Shin: You two were always disgraceful stalkers!

Bo: We are

Bo: us!

Kon: We won't let you flirt with Otae-san any further!

Sac: We won't let you flirt with Gin-san any further!

Kag: Precisely!

Kag: No matter what happens, we won't be dyed in anybody else's colors now.

Kag: It's our turn to dye you in our colors and bring you back.

Kag: So...

Kat: Come back to us, Gin-chan!

Kat: Let's be Joi Rebels again and overthrow the bakufu!

Eliza ,Sign: Come back.

Kag: Are you kidding me?!

Kag: Don't go getting my hands dirty!

Kat: Exactly.

Kat: The ones who'll destroy the Shinsengumi (mainly the Vice Chief)

Kat: and overthrow the bakufu will be us!

Kat: I'll hold the fort here.

Kat: Go, Elizaretch!

Kag: This guy's gotten totally dyed in t*rror1st colors!

Sou: I'm not a t*rror1st. I'm Sou-kun.

Kag: Whatever!

Kag: To hell with it!

Kag: Give Gin-chan's gonads back!

Kat: Ego, not gonads, Elizaretch!

Shin: Oh, no!

Shin: He still had this much strength left?!

Tae: Gin-san! Hijikata-san!

Shin: Th-That's...

Shin: Who is that?!

Shin: Actually, what is that?!

Mad: What are you guys doing?

Shin: No, what are you guys doing?!

Shin: How did a fusion of sh*t and shades give birth

Shin: to an unprecedented supernatural creature?!

Mad: Don't break formation!

Mad: Use your own brains to figure out what you can do within the organization!

Shin: And it's super strong!

Mad: Remember what our leaders taught us!

Mad: Our other leaders taught us a way of life that was completely the opposite of our style!

Mad: And now, we understand how important both freedom and discipline are!

Mad: Discipline your weak selves for the organization's sake and take a stand!

Mad: But instead of adhering to someone else's rules,

Mad: adhere to your own convictions

Mad: and take back what's important to us!

Mad: Come back,

Mad: leaders!

Gin: You guys...

Cat: Milady!

Tae: Dozaemon-san,

Tae: it looks like this is not where you belong.

Tae: Dozaemon-san...

Tae: No, Leader.

Tae: Go home, to where your friends are waiting.

Shin: Goodbye,

Shin: our other leader.

Shin: And

Shin: welcome back,

Shin: our leader!

Gin: There! Something came out of his mouth!

Hij: That's it! That's my ego's other half!

Hij: Huh?

Hij: That's where it comes out from?!

Gin: He spewed out something outrageous!

Gin: I know the ego went in through his assh*le,

Gin: but it comes out of there, too?!

Hij: Hey! Is my ego mixed in here?

Hij: Where? Where is it?

Hij: I can't tell due to all these mosaics!

Hij: Hasegawa-san, you were poop to begin with.

Hij: Dive in there and find it for me!

Kag: The poop threw up upon seeing poop!

Kag: Now there's mosaics on top of mosaics!

Gin: How have things been on your end since then?

Hij: Nothing's changed, really.

Gin: So you've gone back to living life bound by those stifling ironclad rules?

Gin: But when I was around, they were doing just fine even without those.

Gin: Shackle them all you want, but morons will always be morons.

Gin: Letting them cut loose every now and then won't change that.

Hij: It's none of your business now, is it?

Hij: What, are you worried about them?

Gin: As if.

Gin: I'm just giving you some advice as a superior leader.

Hij: How are things at your place, anyway?

Hij: You'd better be paying those guys.

Hij: Given the right rules and incentives,

Hij: even morons can serve a purpose.

Hij: So just pay their wages, at least.

Gin: What's with you? You looking out for them?

Gin: Did you grow attached to them?

Hij: Are you stupid?

Hij: I just want you to return the money I had to pay those guys.

Gin: Well, whatever.

Gin: It's your organization. Run it however you want.

Gin: But keep this piece of advice in mind.

Gin: Thank them properly.

Gin: Without them, their idiotic vice chief couldn't have gone back to normal.

Gin: Leader or not, a man's gotta say what he's gotta say.

Gin: That's part of the vice chief's duties, too.

Hij: Right back at you, President.

Hij: Bow that worthless head of yours, open your mouth, and thank those brats.

Hij: A president ought to show that much tact, at least.

Gin: I'll thank them if you do.

Hij: I'm a capable leader. I don't need you to tell me what to do.

Gin: I'm capable of saying it myself, you V-shaped baldy.

Hij: That so?

Hij: Then I'll make sure to pass your message along,

Hij: Vice Chief.

Gin: Why'd you have to leave me such an annoying task?

Gin: Stupid President.

Shin: Gin-san!

Shin: What took you so long?

Kon: Over here, Toshi!

Shin: So...

Shin: Have you figured out a way for us to go back to normal...

Oki: ...Leader?

Gin: Well, about that...

Hij: Don't you think it's about time we changed leaders?

Kag: Screw you!

Kag: Take responsibility and make this right, Leader!

Shin: You guys were the only ones to go back to normal!

Kon: Who the hell put poop in the transfer device?!

Gin: More like everyone was covered in poop!

Sign: Preview

Sak: At long last, an episode with me in the lead role!

Sak: I bet there'll be a special opening next week, with everything switched to me.

Sak: I can't wait!

Title: Always Leave Enough Room for Fifty Million in Your Bag

SaK: Next Episode: "Always Leave Enough Room for Fifty Million in Your Bag."

text r: The opening won't change. It'll be the same as usual.

text l: You're a trader, so you should know all about budgetary constraints.

text r: If only fifty million fell from the sky...

text l: We're waiting with our bags wide open.