07x25 - Always Leave Enough Room for Fifty Million in Your Bag

[bunniefuu]

M: Kaientai log:

M: Meeting at Planet Nanking.

G: First Lassun Gorilla, then Mossan.

G: What do you think will be the next big trend, Sakamoto-san?

Sak: We traders don't wait for trends. We create them.

Sak: We have to be trailblazers that guide the populace.

G: Oh? Then what would you say people's hearts seek right now?

Sak: Bags with room for million!

Sak: Quit dawdlin' and load 'em on the ship already!

G: Governor... I mean, Captain. It won't fit!

Sak: It will!

G: No, these bags clearly don't have room for million!

Sak: I'm tellin' you, it'll fit.

Sak: In reality, million is just a bunch of paper, so if you stuff it in—

G: It won't fit! The zipper won't close!

M: Hey, Sakamoto.

Sak: Worry not.

Sak: In the near future,

Sak: an era is sure to come where someone could lend you million at any time.

Sak: These will be all the rage then.

M: They're nothing but bags, though.

Sak: All products mean nothin' 'til they make it to store shelves.

Sak: They're no different from this pebble.

Sak: Traders are alchemists who derive value from nothin' to turn a profit.

Sak: This pebble, too, shines in a way that jewels cannot imitate.

Sak: And discoverin' that is our job.

M: With those words, the man cackled in the same way he did back then,

M: filled his pockets with pebbles,

M: and set sail across the sea of stars.

Title: Always Leave Enough Room for Fifty Million in Your Bag

Smile,Sign: Snack Bar Smile

Sign: Mutsu's Request: Watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.

G: What?

G: Can we really have these, Sakamoto-san?

Sak: Take it and go, you thieves!

Sak: They're leftovers, anyway!

Tae: Um...

Tae: Are you sure about this?

Sak: Absolutely. Don't worry 'bout it.

Sak: One of my business ventures didn't pan out, you see.

Sak: Bags were never meant to store million,

Sak: but rather the ulterior motives of men.

Sak: On that Oryo-chan,

Sak: I'd like million yen's worth of ser—

M: I see now.

M: Looks like we've found a use for pebbles,

M: both you and me.

Sak: Wait, Mutsu! I can expl—

M: If you're goin' to use this for your ulterior motives,

M: then I'll use it to recoup our losses.

M: Dump him in the ocean.

M: I've completed all the life insurance paperwork.

G: Right away.

Sak: M-Mutsu?!

Gin: I'll take % of that as commission, then.

Sak: K-Kintoki!

Sak: Were you the one who ratted me out?

Sak: You'd best remember this, Kintoki!

Gin: How about you remember my name first?

Gin: Pebbles, eh?

Gin: With crap like that in his pockets,

Gin: no wonder the company's sinking.

Gin: The captain himself is the biggest dead weight,

Gin: so you must have it rough, Vice Captain.

M: Has he always been like that?

Gin: Beats me.

Gin: But he was already a moron by the time I first met him.

Gin: Born in Tosa

Gin: to a merchant family that was well-known in those parts,

Gin: he was mistaken to be a leader of men

Gin: and joined the w*r.

Tak: So that's the Lord of the Southern Sea,

Tak: the Dragon of Katsurahama,

Tak: Sakamoto Tatsuma.

Kat: I'm not Katsurahama. I'm Katsura.

Tak: I wasn't talking about you.

Tak: He has quite the air of certainty to him.

Kat: I'm not Certain. I'm Katsura.

Tak: I wasn't talking about you.

Gin: This sucks.

Gin: Little rich boys and I don't get along.

Gin: Damn self-righteous spoiled brats don't know sh*t about hard work.

Gin: We've already got one, the firstborn of a certain samurai family.

Gin: Though I guess he's more stillborn than firstborn.

Gin: I bet that ship's a toy his daddy bought for him, too.

Gin: Reminds me of a certain runt who got his daddy to buy him a Lego regiment

Gin: so he could pretend to be commander.

Gin: Never built a track for Mini- WDs with cardboard boxes, right?

Gin: Just so you know,

Gin: the only reason your lives are on the right track is because

Gin: your daddies bought you the whole damn track.

Gin: All it means is that your daddies are hotshots.

Tak: Whose troops are you calling Lego blocks?

Tak: Besides, I was disowned a long time ago.

Gin: What? I never said I was talking about you.

Gin: Takasagi-kun, you actually thought your family was rich?

Gin: You actually call yourself Richie Rich?

Kat: Would you two cut that out?

Kat: I'm not into Richie Rich. I like Archie Comics better!

Tak: Look, you just keep your mouth shut.

Gin: Hey, look at him.

Tak: What's he laughing for?

Gin: Don't look down on Takasugi-kun, you bastard!

Tak: Takasugi-kun, my foot.

Tak: He's looking down on us because of you.

Gin: Hey, whatcha gigglin' at?

Gin: What's so funny about Takasugi-kun?

Gin: 'Cause "Taka" means "high," but he's so low?

Tak: You're the one looking down on me.

Gin: You might not believe it, but Takasugi-kun's friend count

Gin: is three times lower than Tamo-san's!

Tak: You weren't talking about my height?

Gin: Hey, whatcha ignoring us for?

Gin: Keep looking down on us, and we'll take you out!

Gin: We'll kick the rebel right out of you!

Gin: I'm telling you to quit laughing!

Gin: Takasugi-kun, wanna kick his ass? Give him some divine punishment?

Gin: What's with this guy?

Gin: He's not intimidated at all.

Gin: Not only that, he's ignoring us

Gin: and staring at the b*ttlefield with a smile on his face.

Gin: He might just be a man among men.

Gin: We might just have found ourselves a great leader.

Sak: Oh, sorry 'bout that.

Sak: I got seasick,

Sak: so I was staring at the horizon.

Sak: I didn't notice you there.

Sak: Wait, who are you guys?

Bo: Divine punishment!

Gin: From the moment I met him, Sakamoto Tatsuma was Sakamoto Tatsuma.

Gin: With the people skills to con his way into anyone's purse,

Gin: he secured financial backing,

Gin: raised funds,

Gin: and procured weapons...

Gin: He got us a ton of money, almost as if he were a con man.

Gin: Even on the b*ttlefield, he fought not with a sword,

Gin: but with the w*apon called trade.

Gin: You can't wage w*r without troops,

Gin: but those troops can't fight without money.

Gin: That con man was the one supporting our w*r.

M: So basically, he polished the troops, his products,

M: until they could be displayed on the shelves of w*r?

M: You guys are pebbles he picked up, too, huh?

Gin: Maybe so.

M: And it's thanks to you that

M: he has this bad habit of puttin' unprofitable products on store shelves.

M: Talk about a pain in the ass.

Gin: No wonder they call you the Razor XO.

Gin: Your tongue's so sharp, it could shave the beard right off one's chin.

M: But hey, Miss Vice Captain,

M: aren't you a pebble that moron picked up, too?

Sak: I can't believe they actually dumped me.

Sak: How they've grown, to be able to treat their captain like this.

Sak: They've taken their first step to independence.

Sak: I get it.

Sak: I get it already, so could you rescue me now?

Sak: Hey, I know one of you is standin' by somewhere!

Sak: I've realized the error of my ways. That's enough, right?

Sak: Somebody help me, please!

Sak: Anybody!

M: That man...

Sak: SOS!

Sak: I'm not a suspicious man!

M: He was tied up and floatin' in the middle of an ocean so dark,

M: you couldn't tell where it ended and the sky began.

Gin: He hasn't made any progress at all, huh?

M: It was back when he'd just left the Joi w*r

M: and was startin' to dabble in space trade.

M: Apparently he'd fallen prey to some shady business.

M: And he just happened to be rescued by the ship I was on,

M: a sl*ve ship of the Chidori Space Pirates.

Gin: sl*ve ship?

M: At the time, they were considered the most powerful crime syndicate

M: after the Harusame.

M: Their profits came primarily from human trafficking.

M: On the ship were people who were kidnapped,

M: sold into sl*very, or abandoned.

M: And I was there with 'em.

Gin: You...

G: There's a weird guy in the water.

G: He seems to be crying for help.

G: What do we do,

G: Mutsu-sama?

M: Pick him up and throw him in the sl*ve cages.

Gin: You were on that side?!

Gin: You were the seller, not the sellee?!

Gin: You were a space pirate?!

M: Chill out. It was just a part-time job.

Gin: A part-time kidnapper is even scarier!

M: Vice Commander of the Chidori Space Pirates' Second Division,

M: Diamond Princess Mutsu.

M: My shift was Tuesday through Friday.

Gin: Part-time, my ass! You were clearly the chief!

M: What else could I do?

M: My dad was the CEO.

Gin: What do you mean, your dad was the CEO?!

Gin: Are you the Pirate King's daughter?

Gin: Do you know where One Piece is?!

M: In truth, even I wanted to do girly things

M: like goin' to fancy cafés to extort protection money,

M: or cute little cake shops to get rid of traitors who were sellin' cakes

M: with a different kinda powder mixed in.

M: But my dad forced me—

Gin: What part of that is girly?! It's not all that different from human trafficking!

Gin: So, what? You're not an Earthling?

Gin: What's with the Tosa dialect, then?

M: I caught it from Sakamoto.

Gin: How did a pirate like you

Gin: end up doing business with a sl*ve you picked up?

M: That's simple.

M: He,

M: Sakamoto Tatsuma,

M: bought me along with the sl*ve ship.

M: Rather, he bought the entire Kaientai from the pirates.

Sak: Man, now that's what you call a near-death experience.

Sak: You're lifesavers. I don't know how to thank you.

Sak: Huh? I get the feeling this has happened before.

G: What a coincidence.

G: We have a feeling this has happened before, too.

G: This reminds us of the time we picked up a con man drifting in the ocean,

G: who then stole our ship, our leader,

G: and everything from us.

G: Long time no see, Con—

Sak: Oh, sorry about that. I got cranesick.

Sak: Could I get some medicine for that?

M: I don't know why you were drifting in the middle of the ocean,

M: but it's hard to say whether you're lucky or unlucky, bein' picked up by a sl*ve ship.

Sak: Are you the cap'n of this ship?

Sak: It's a nice ship.

G: What do you think you're doing?

Sak: It's well-maintained, and its crew's well-trained.

Sak: Proves that it has a stellar cap'n.

Sak: I've made up my mind.

Sak: This ship now belongs to Sakamoto Tatsuma!

G: Say what? Do you realize the situation you're in?

G: You're a sl*ve now!

G: You're not here to shop, but to be shopped for!

Sak: With this ship, I could run a fine business in space.

Sak: It's used, so you'll give me a good price, right?

G: Listen to me, damn it!

Sak: Quiet, you.

Sak: I'm talkin' to the cap'n here.

G: What an amusing man.

G: It'd be a shame to make him a sl*ve.

G: But she's not the captain.

G: C-Commander!

G: If you have something to say, I'll hear—

G: What have you done to the commander?!

Sak: Sorry about that.

Sak: I love ships, but I get seasick easily.

Sak: Oh, thanks for the sick sack.

G: That's not a sick sack!

G: It's the commander's ball sack!

M: Take him to the cages already.

M: I'm not about to do business with a sl*ve.

M: We pirates do business using slaves.

Sak: I know, I know.

Sak: I'm makin' this offer fully aware of what you're sellin'.

Sak: I'll buy this ship, slaves and all.

Gin: Slaves and all?

Gin: What's that supposed to mean?

M: Exactly what it sounds like.

M: That man's a far sleazier con man than mere pirates.

G: Vice Captain!

G: Th-This is bad!

G: The captain... Sakamoto-san...

G: Do you hear me, members of Kaientai?

G: Quickly abandon your ships and return them to us!

G: If you resist, your captain can kiss his life goodbye!

G: You will return everything you stole from us!

G: With interest, of course!

G: Commander, they're not responding.

G: Commander!

G: I hear you!

G: Curse him. Not once, but twice...

G: He didn't just make me lose face, he puked on it,

G: and ruined my all-important intro scene!

G: I'm at the end of my patience!

G: Cannons at the ready!

G: Show them how serious we are,

G: and how terrifying space pirates can be!

G: Fire!

G: Commander!

G: Those guys fired at us!

G: Don't they care what happens to their captain?

M: It matters not.

M: This is a chance to get rid of that good-for-nothing!

M: Fire!

Sak: Mutsu?!

M: Listen up.

M: Keep them distracted until I sneak aboard their ship.

G: Yes, ma'am! Good luck!

M: Let's go, Shaggy White.

G: Why me too?!

G: Hang on a sec!

G: I can't swim!

M: You're the ones who created Shaggy Black over there.

M: Clean up your mess.

M: But I never knew those stragglers were waiting to take their revenge.

M: Hurry, or we'll be too late.

Gin: What the hell do you want to do?

Gin: Save him, or not?!

W: Give me a bigger discount!

Sak: Come on, now.

Sak: Are you trying to make me go bankrupt?

Sak: Oh, all right.

Sak: Let's call it a deal with your pickled radishes from dinner.

G: Sakamoto-san gave in to the old lady's bargaining!

G: Old ladies really are shrewd shoppers.

G: I went through hell to hide this bottle of alcohol,

G: and now I'm giving it away for pickled radishes.

M: What do you think you're doing?

Sak: Oh, hey, Cap'n.

Sak: I'm trading, as you can see.

Sak: Anyway, how about it? Have you made up your mind to sell the ship yet?

M: Dream on.

M: You're a sl*ve.

M: I thought I told you to learn your place.

Sak: And I thought I told you I was a trader, not a sl*ve.

M: Even though you have no money?

Sak: I'll just pay in installments.

Sak: I'm sure to become a trader known across the universe.

Sak: Just look at my customers.

Sak: Being able to put smiles on people's faces with a cheap bottle of alcohol

Sak: is what makes trading so much fun.

Sak: You can sell people all you want,

Sak: but if that doesn't make anybody smile,

Sak: then that trade is boring, no matter how much money it makes.

Sak: It's written all over your face.

M: I don't seek pleasure from work.

M: I just do my job, is all.

G: Precisely.

G: Mutsu-sama, you'll eventually succeed the Fleet Admiral,

G: so you carry a huge responsibility.

G: Please refrain from behavior that would disappoint your father.

G: Like, for example,

G: taking interest in some sl*ve—

Sak: You've had too much to drink, Gran.

Gr: Sorry about that, Commander.

G: Would you guys knock it off?!

G: Just when am I going to get to show my face?!

G: Who the hell brought alcohol in here?!

G: Come, Mutsu-sama.

G: We must leave this filthy place at once.

M: You're the filthy one. Get away from me.

G: Mutsu-sama!

G: Please stop acting like a spoiled child.

G: Surely you understand why your father left you in my care.

G: He also told me

G: that you and I would run Chidori someday,

G: and asked me to stay by your side and support you, both at work and in private.

M: Are you saying that's part of my duties as a pirate's daughter, too?

G: No, Mutsu-sama.

G: For a long time, I've lov—

M: Sorry...

M: He was right on the money.

M: It was a most boring family business,

M: and a most boring life.

M: Born as a pirate's daughter, and raised as a pirate,

M: I just did my job as told.

M: My actions never put a smile on anyone's face.

M: I always thought business was about exploiting people.

M: That was the first time I'd ever seen a trader who actually gave people something.

Sak: Hey, Cap'n.

Sak: What, are you peeking at us again? Why don't you just join us?

M: I-I wasn't peeking!

M: I was simply observing you to make sure you didn't bring anything

M: weird in here again.

Sak: You don't have to worry. I have nothin' left to sell.

Sak: I was just puttin' these pebbles up for auction 'cause I was bored.

M: Pebbles?

Sak: Confined spaces make your body grow stiff.

Sak: And these provide the perfect massage.

Sak: Right, Gran?

G: I'm telling you,

G: I ain't gonna give you a single pickle for these blunt stones.

G: Come back when you've got something sharper.

G: Don't underestimate how stiff a granny's body can get.

Sak: What was that, you old crone?!

Sak: If you want a pointy, stiff one so bad,

Sak: I can skewer you with my little rocky right here.

Sak: Just you watch, Gran!

M: How's that? Was it a perfect massage for your stupidity?

G: Oh, Captain!

G: That's it! That rock!

G: Sell it to me!

M: Uh, this is just a broken piece of flooring.

G: I beg of you!

G: This is bliss! I'm in heaven!

G: I gotta hand it to the Diamond Princess's choice.

G: This feels like a diamond.

G: Hey, Gran!

G: Let me use it, too!

G: Me too!

G: Me three!

G: Thank you so very much, Captain.

G: You're truly kind.

G: This isn't much, but please take it.

M: N-No need. You get barely any food as it is.

Sak: You should accept that. It's basic trader etiquette.

Sak: Give and take.

Sak: That's what business is all about.

G: What? The Fleet Admiral?

G: I knew he was ill, but I didn't expect it to happen so soon.

G: What are we supposed to tell Mutsu-sama?

G: Nah. No need for any consideration.

G: But, as mature as she seems, she's still only fourteen.

G: That's not what I meant.

G: I'm saying we don't have to tell her.

G: While the Fleet Admiral was still alive,

G: I thought my only way to gain power was to use his daughter.

G: But now, I can ignore that girl

G: and become Fleet Admiral myself!

G: C-Commander!

G: Alter our course.

G: This is no time to indulge in petty business.

G: Tomorrow, at Planet Ken'o, we shall execute all the slaves,

G: along with that girl.

M: I wasn't really shocked.

M: It was a scene I'd seen played out over and over in that world.

M: I'll leave the emergency escape pod unlocked.

M: Use it before this ship reaches Planet Ken'o tomorrow.

M: I don't know how many it can hold,

M: but I'm sure it's better than all of you dying.

Sak: What're you playin' at?

M: Apparently you're no longer slaves.

M: Nobody wants to transport unprofitable cargo.

M: Besides, you said it yourself.

M: That business is all about give and take.

M: Tell her it was delicious.

Tsuzuku,Sign: To Be Continued

Sign: Preview

M: That shaggy moron

M: seems to be under the impression that he's the main character in this tale,

M: but it's actually me.

Title: Always Leave Enough Room for Pebbles in Your Bag

M: Next Episode: "Always Leave Enough Room for Pebbles in Your Bag."

M: I get more screen time in the openin', too.

Preview

text r: Shocking truth comes to light! Mutsu is the daughter of a pirate!

text l: Through trade, she finally interacts with people and has a change of heart...?

text r: Meanwhile, the puker on board, Sakamoto, prepares for a blockbuster trade.

text l: Right now, it even comes with pickles if you watch the broadcast next week!!