01x03 - Salt Fever

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Cars on the Road". Aired: September 8, 2022 - present.
Lightning McQueen and his best friend Mater head east from Radiator Springs on a cross-country road trip to meet up with Mater's sister.
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01x03 - Salt Fever

Post by bunniefuu »

[SINGING] McQUEEN & MATER: ♪ Crank shaft's
connected to the flywheel ♪


You know, if we poured it on at top speed,

we'd be in town for the wedding
in a day and a half.

Don't remind me.

Thousands of things to see,
you have to bring up nuptials?

Nobody cares about...

Uh... Where is the road?

You know, I was starting
to wonder about that myself.

Well, hey, there's nobody else out here.
We can go as fast as we want.


- Want to race?
- Uh...

- Well...
- Come on!

Ha! Look at you, all charged up to race.

But I don't have a chance against...

- Ha-ha!

Come on, McQueen!

- MATER: Whoo!
- Whoa!

- Yeah, buddy!
- Whoo! Yeah!

Oh, man.

I ain't the quickest,
but it sure would be fun to be fast.


What is that?

It sounds like an airplane?

Oh, maybe it's one of them fancy
delivery drones.

- [GASPS] Look out!

Holy smokes!

That, sir, was no delivery drone.

♪ Hitting the highway, a couple of friends ♪

♪ With new adventures 'round every bend ♪

♪ Whether racing fast or getting towed ♪

♪ Ever together, cars on the road ♪

ANNOUNCER: There's a lot of us today, folks.
Right now...

Land speed racers.

So that's who almost
clipped us back there.

Hey, look at that.

Watch out for the Speed Demon.


Speed Demon?

They've got their own language out here.
Their own culture even.

With these cars,
everything gets stripped away.

It's pure speed.

Good time, Lou.
You broke your record.

Yeah, broke something.

With just the tiniest little
taste of death.

FEMALE TRUCK: Out of the way!
Pardon me, please!

Big long car coming through.
Watch it. Long car.

Whoa! It's about breaking through.
It's a race against yourself.

Check out the divisions.

You've got your classic rod, your imports,
special construction, diesel trucks,

rocket-powered cars.

It's crazy.

- They probably even have a ranking for...
- MALE CAR: Tow truck?

I don't normally spend my time

trying to mold the likes of you
into a racing machine.

Oh, nuts and bolts!

That said, we suddenly find ourselves
with a rare opening on our team.


And so, you may accept
the privilege of racing for me.

No, no, no, no, no, no.
We are just passing...



Let's begin your journey.

Mater, why are you doing this?

I've always wanted
to go faster than fast.

sh**t, right now, I've got
a pretty good sh*t at it.

But what do we know about these crackpots?

Uh, I mean, these perfectly reasonable
racing professionals.








MATER: Whoo-hoo!

Look at me!

Come on!
Let's talk about this, buddy.

I'm faster than fast
and quicker than quick.

Watch out for the Speed Demon.



Oh, no.





miles per hour.

Okay, you did it, buddy!

You can back off now.


I am speed!



miles per hour.

miles per hour.








What the... Dadgum!


Well, that's it, then.

That's what then?

I'll take you the rest of the way.

What the... Who are you?

The racers call me the Speed Demon.

Part of the local lore.

You know, "Watch out for the Speed Demon."

sh**t! You don't look
all that demon-y to me.

Ha! Tell me about it.

Well, this has been a treat.

- I guess I'll just be...
- Mater.

What the heck are you doing out here?

Just scratching an itch.

Thinking, "Why can't I be the fastest?
Why can't I be the best at something?"

Well, I never thought
this is how you'd go out.

Honestly, this seems about right.

Okay, then.
Shall we be going?

What, now?

But who's going to break it to Lightning?

He'll figure it out.

I don't even get to say goodbye?

Do you know what a seance is?

Wait, wait, wait.

We play checkers for it.

I win, you send me back.

There's no sending back.
What's done is done.

How about we match wits?

What number am I thinking of now?

Mater, that's not how it works.

- Seven.
- Dang. You're right.

- Yes!
- Okay.

How about this?
Close your eyes.

How many tires am I holding up?

Well, it can't be more than four.

You have six tires, right?

Well, was it four or six?

Hey, where'd you... Hey.



Come on.

Well, that's a novel approach.



Ah, well, I suppose I can let one
slip through the cracks.



What was that?

You're alive!

I do believe I am.

You was worried about me, wasn't you, huh?

Ha-ha! Come on.
You was worried.

Of course I was, you big lug-nut.

We're best buddies, aren't we?

Besides, what fun is a road trip
on your own anyway?

You've got that right.

- MALE CAR: Tow truck!

Do you know what you did, tow truck?

Records have been shattered.

This is just the beginning.
We'll make history.

Tow truck and me, partners even.

Hey, there he is!
Tow truck, wanna race for me?

You were incredible.
You should race for us!

Listen to me, you're a legend, tow truck!

Race you to the next town?

Oh, come on. You know
I don't have a chance against... Go!

- Tow truck, we're not done!
- Where you going, tow truck?

Whew. Okay, so what have
we learned here today?

Well, turns out steering in a crosswind
at -and-change

while tachometer's redlining
should be mostly avoided.

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