01x09 - Gettin’ Hitched

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Cars on the Road". Aired: September 8, 2022 - present.
Lightning McQueen and his best friend Mater head east from Radiator Springs on a cross-country road trip to meet up with Mater's sister.
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01x09 - Gettin’ Hitched

Post by bunniefuu »


I can't believe this trip is almost over.

It's going to feel so good
to hop on a plane and fly back home.

Uh, yeah, okay, of course.
We'll fly back.

In the meantime, we can take a load off
and relax at your sister's wedding.


Mater! What's going on?

- Sorry, buddy.

Just thinking about seeing my sister
makes me anxious.

And when I get anxious,
I get the backfires. [GROANS]

Come on, relax.

I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

You don't understand.

When I get around my sister,

- something unexplainable happens to me.


Ah, she can't be that bad.

She's probably just jealous
'cause you moved somewhere new,

and she never left her humble begin...

- Holy mansion!

MAN: ♪ Hittin' the highway, a couple of friends ♪


- ♪ With new adventures ♪

- ♪ 'Round every bend ♪

- ♪ Whether racing fast ♪

- ♪ Or getting towed ♪


♪ Ever together, cars on the road ♪

You grew up here?

Yep. It's funny, though.

When you go back to your old house,

it always looks so much smaller
than you remember it.

This is not what I expected.

- Hey, do you have an invitation?
- What?

- Mr. McQueen!
- Cruz!

You don't have to call me "Mr. McQueen."

We're both racers now.

Okay, Lightning.

No, I'm sorry.
That just sounds weird.

- What are you doing here?
- It's my cousin Mateo's wedding.

He's getting hitched to some
[POSHLY] eccentric socialite.

For your information,
that eccentric satellite is my sister.

That practically makes us family!

I'm going to be Mater Ramirez!

- I don't think it wo...
- So, how's your off-season treating you?

I started a racing school,

formed a non-profit that provides
snow tires to the lightly treaded,

and I'm learning French.

Wow! That's...
[LAUGHS] That's a lot.

Oui. So tell me, what have you been up to?

[SIGHS] I've been on this wild
road trip with Mater,

and to be honest, I am ready to be home.



Oh, boy.
There she is.

That's your sister?

I know.
It's like seeing double, ain't it?

- Oh, my gosh. [LAUGHS] Baby brother!


Baby brother, baby brother,
baby brother, baby brother!

[GASPS] And who, may I ask,
are these terribly chic guests of yours?

These are my friends.
Lightning and Cruz.

And, well, everybody,
this is my dear sister, Mato.

BOTH: Mato?

Yes, like "tomato" without the "to".

- She seems nice.
- Just wait, it's coming.

- Baby brother...
- Wait for it.

...I am so glad you made it.

Wait for it.

Seeing as how no one ever knows

- [GRUNTS] with you.
- And here we go.

With your laid-back, "Aw, shucks.

"Don't need to know
where I'm going to go" attitude,

Nope. I'm not going to bite,
because I'm better than that.

Oh. [SCOFFS] It always comes down
to who's better, doesn't it?

That's not what I said!


Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,

- nope, nope, nope.
- I think we all know the answer to that.

- Don't we?

Not gonna...

Uh, Mater, are... are you okay?


I do believe we know who's better.


All right, that's it.
You want to hash it out? Let's go!

Race to the old oak tree.
Driving backwards.

- Go!

- Mater!
- What about the wedding?

So, uh, you with the bride or the groom?

Hey, watch it!


Winner, winner, lugnut dinner!

[LAUGHS] Okay, how about we, uh,
go back to the wedding?

Best two out of three.
Lawn drawing contest!

Challenge accepted.

Get 'er done!

MATO: Whoo-hoo! Wee! Yee-haw!

Winner, Mato!

Cruz, what are you doing?

Oh, I also became a certified referee
over the off-season.


- Best three out of five!
- Fine!

The first one up the tree wins.
One, two, three, go!


All right, buddy.

Hey, why don't we just call this thing
a tie and then we move on, all right?

- A tie?
- BOTH: Never!





Winner, Mato!

Done. Done. Done.

Winner, Mater!

BOTH: One, two, three, rock!

One, two, three, rock!

One, two, three, rock!




- Slug bug!
- Mato!

- Ow!
- Nebraska!






- Stare off!
- Go!

- [YELPING] Bug in my eye! Get it out!

Winner, Mato!

[LAUGHS] Whoo!
That's it! out of !

I win! I win! Y'all!


All right, already.
You ain't gotta toot your own horn

- and be so dramatic about it.
- I'm not dramatic. I'm passionate.

Not like you, just rolling through life
without a care in the world.

Me? At least I don't have to broadcast
every last thing that crosses my mind.

- Wait!


Did I mention I dabble in family therapy?

Well, I think we had
a very transformative conversation.

Mater, are you back to normal?

Yep. Turns out, we actually
kind of admire each other.

Sometimes, I wish I could share
anything I'm feeling.

Just like my big sis.

And I wish that I could just let things
slide once in a while,

like my baby brother.

No, no, no. But you can't.
Just a moment more, please.

I've waited long enough.
I don't have time for this.

I've got other things to do with my day.

I'm sorry, mi amore.

I guess the wedding's off.

Not to worry.

I'm also a licensed wedding officiant.

Of course you are.

- I now pronounce you married!



Wow. That was a strange day.

Yeah, well, par for the course
for this road trip.

So you didn't have a good time with Mater?

No, no, no.
Mater is great.

But [SIGHS] let's just say
it'll be a relief to fly back home

to my own calm, normal life.

- Wha... Why?


Attention, friends and folks,
friends and folks.

While it's true my dear old sis and I

ain't spent much time together
over the years.

Well, that's...
that's all going to change.

Because, you see, uh...
Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is

we may only have a short amount
of time left on this planet.

So we've got to make the most of that time
with the ones we care for.

What course we decide upon
might prove scary at times.

Or test our resolve.

Or maybe even make us question

the very reasons for embarking
on this grand journey in the first place.

But it is true, them unexpected turns,
all the bumps along the road,

that's what makes life worth living.


Uh... Uh...

And that is why, as your president,

I call upon the cars of the world

to rise up against
this zombie alien invasion

and to squelch the brainy-headed scourge,

or else it's only a matter of time
before they blow up the Earth.

Thank you.

- BOTH: What the...
- Huh?

To the bride and groom!


Hey, honey bun,
wanna race to the wedding cake?

Mi amore,
I wouldn't have it any other way.

One, two, three, go!


Nice speech, buddy.

You know, I can't help but think
I've heard it somewhere before.

Well, I couldn't let it go to waste.

It was really great seeing you guys.
Have a safe flight back.


Actually, I was thinking we should drive.

- [GASPS] Really?
- You know, take our time.

Wander the back roads,
maybe even make new friends.

Hey, where do you think
we ought to stop tonight?

Don't know.

Let's just see what the old road
has in store for us, bumps and all.

You know, I think we should see
the wax museums

we skipped over on the way out.

That's on my bucket list.

- Hey, you ever driven through...
- See you on the track, racer.

Oh, you got it, Lightning.

Ooh! Nope. No.

- Still sounds weird.

I'll tell you what,
you pick the first three stops.

I get the next .


♪ Hittin' the highway, a couple of friends ♪

♪ With new adventures 'round every bend ♪

♪ Whether racing fast or getting towed ♪

♪ They're ever together, cars on the road ♪

♪ Winding along the blue lines
So much to see ♪

♪ Harrowing... and thrilling mysteries ♪

♪ Crazy situations
They still can't quite believe ♪

♪ So much unexpected
But everything they need ♪

♪ 'Cause when you are on the road
And traveling friends ♪

♪ You might not know where you're going
But you sure know where you've been ♪

♪ And when the trip is over
And the stories told ♪

♪ You'll always hold on
To that feeling of being ♪

♪ When you are on the road
And traveling with friends ♪

♪ Might not know where you're going
But you sure know where you've been ♪

♪ And when the trip is over
And the stories told ♪

♪ You'll always hold on
To that feeling of being ♪

♪ Cars on the road ♪

Hey, I wonder where they went
on their honeymoon.

- Mateo!
- Mato!

- Mateo!
- Mato!


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