03x01 - The Berenstain Bears and Ferdy Factual / Lend a Helping Hand

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Berenstain Bears". Aired: January 6, 2003 – December 6, 2004.*
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Based on the popular children's book series of the same name; features Mama and Papa Bear as they raise their two cubs in the countryside of Bear Country.
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03x01 - The Berenstain Bears and Ferdy Factual / Lend a Helping Hand

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Somewhere deep
in bear country ♪

♪ Lives the berenstain
bear family ♪

♪ They're kind of furry
around the torso ♪

♪ They're a lot like people,
only more so ♪

♪ The bare fact is that ♪

♪ They're just like
you and me ♪

♪ The only difference
is they live ♪

♪ In a tree ♪

♪ The berenstain bears ♪

♪ When things go wrong,
as things might do ♪

♪ The berenstain bears
will find a way through ♪

♪ Mama, papa,
sister and brother ♪

[ Laughing ]

♪ They'll always be there
for each other ♪

♪ The bare fact is that
they can be sweet as honey ♪

♪ Sometimes, you'll find,
they might be just plain funny ♪

♪ The berenstain bears ♪

♪ The berenstain bears ♪

[ Brother ]:
when things

Can't get worse
and all seems

At an end,
that's when

A cub finds
a real friend.

[ Brother ]:
hut! Hut!

I got it!

I got it! I...

Oof!

Ah, crumb.

It's mine, it's mine, it's...

Yours.

We need a lot of work.

We'll try it again after school.

[ Muttering ]

Think the team stands
a chance of winning

Against the bay city
bruins this year, brother?

It's not about
winning, freddy.

It's about not
getting creamed

Like we did
last year.

And the year before that.

Oops.

Sorry I mentioned it.

[ Actual factual ]:
hello, cubs.

[ Freddy ]:
hey, who's that
with professor actual factual?

[ Brother ]:
it's his nephew-- today is

His first day at our school.

We promised the professor
we'd show him around.

Brother, sister, cousin fred,
this is ferdy.

He'll be staying
with me a while.

Hi!
Hello!

Hi, ferdy.

Even someone as unversed
as I in the field of athletics

Can discern from the performance
that I just witnessed

That your football team is...

Well, bad.

Well, then, have fun.

I'm certain you'll all
become the best of chums.

[ Sister ]:
you're going to like
it here, ferdy.

[ Cousin fred ]:
yes, it's a great school.

All the teachers and cubs
are really nice.

I'm terribly glad you're
delighted with

Your educational standards,

But I rather doubt
they will satisfy mine.

I'm accustomed to
a far superior

Institution of learning.

[ Laughing awkwardly ]

Well, so, uh...

I guess the sports teams
at your other school

Were far superior, too.

I suppose.

I'm not a sports fan,
so I never wasted my time

Getting involved
in those silly games.

Well, coach brown says a healthy
body leads to a healthy mind.

Ha-ha, wrong.
If that were the case,

Weight lifters would
become rocket scientists.

A well-developed brain
is all that counts.

And I think the ones that
I've been exposed to so far

Could use a lot
more development.

Class, we have a new student:

Ferdy factual, who I know
you will all--

[ Ferdy ]:
ahem.

Uh, yes, ferdy?

Actually, the correct word
is not "who", but "whom".

[ Gasping ]

You're right, ferdy.

I stand corrected.

[ Sister ]:
he actually corrected
teacher bob?

[ Brother ]:
three times.

Well, professor factual did say
ferdy was very smart.

He knows a lot
of words, papa,

Mostly mean ones.

And every time
you think he can't say

Anything meaner, he does.

Perhaps he's just not the kind
of cub who makes friends easily.

Some folks take longer
to get to know.

I know all I need to know
about ferdy factual.

He's a stuck-up, smarty-pants,
know-it-all, and--

Oh, pass the potatoes, please.

Sometimes new cubs feel

Uncomfortable
around other cubs.

Mama's right, and
instead of shying away,

They're rude or they show off.

It's just their way of dealing
with their feelings.

[ Sighing ]

I guess, but...

Somebody else
can babysit him.

But you two promised
professor actual factual

You'd look out for his nephew.

But that was before.

[ Papa ]:
still,

A promise is a promise.

All right.
We'll try.

But it won't
be easy.

[ Teacher bob ]:
here are your tests back.

[ Groaning ]

I guess this is why
some cubs study.

[ Teacher bob ]:
congratulations, ferdy,

You got %.

I believe that should be %,

Since there were two possible
answers for the last question,

And I gave both.

Oh, boy.
Oh, brother.

Hey, ferdy, you want
to come play

Monkey in the middle with us?

Thank you all the same,
but I'm playing a much more

Interesting game with a much
more interesting opponent.

Chess? But who's
your much

More interesting
opponent?

Of course.

Hey, lookit: that new cub
is playing checkers

Against himself.

I guess that way,
he can't lose.

I bet if skuzz played against
himself, he'd still lose.

[ Laughing ]

[ Queenie ]:
will you teach me how to play?

Uh... I'd be happy to.

First thing you must always
remember is that chess

Is all about simple strategy:

Defeating your opponent
by outthinking them

And outmanoeuvring them.

[ Giggling ]

Hey, ferdy,
do you want to come back

To my place for
milk and cookies?

Can't. I have homework to do.

Oh, gee, that's
too bad, ha-ha.

You sound devastated.

Sorry I'm late.

No problem.

Did you bring
your math book?

Looks like queenie has
got herself a math tutor.

That's gonna keep
ferdy real busy!

Yay!

Whole sardine and onion,
trading for

Half a peanut butter and
jelly-- any takers? Anyone?

So, the queenie is the most
important chess piece?

That's queen.

Next to the king, yes.

You sure you heard her say that?

Positive.

Then I think
we have to tell him.

He won't listen.

And, anyway, the more time
he spends with queenie,

The less time you have
to spend with him.

I know, but...
It's just not right.

We have to tell him. That's
what a friend would do.

What?

[ Sighing ]

Ok, ferdy, here it is:

Queenie is only pretending
to be your friend

To get your
homework answers.

[ Laughing ]

You expect me to believe that?

That's ridiculous.

It's true, ferdy.

I heard her telling too-tall.

She's giving him
the answers, too.

You're wrong--
a smart cub like me

Would never allow a thing
like that to happen.

Told you.

I don't get it.

Queenie pretends
to be his friend,

We're really trying
to be his friends,

And we're the ones he ignores.

How can somebody
so smart be so dumb?

Ferdy knows a lot of things,
but I don't think

He knows very much
about friends.

Guess he'll just have to find
out about queenie the hard way.

[ Ferdy ]:
remember to keep an eye
on your knight.

[ Yawning ]

I got it!

[ Queenie ]:
go for a long one, too-tall!
[ Gasping ]

Nice one, too-tall.

Hey, brother, throw it to me.

No... It's ok.

You don't want it, ferdy.

I most certainly do.
[ Laughing ]

After all, how
difficult can it be?

Football is merely
a synthesis of physics,

Aerodynamics and
hand-eye coordination.

[ Too-tall ]:
come on, just throw it
to him and get it over with.

We got to get to practice.

Do it, brother.
I insist.

Ok. Here you go.

Nothing to it, I'm sure-- oof!

Ferdy!

[ Wheezing ]

Are you ok?

Yes.

Nice catch there,
ferdinand.

[ Snickering ]

Sorry, ferdy. I didn't throw it
hard. You weren't watching.

[ Too-tall ]:
hey, maybe I'll do that
when we play the bulldogs.

Don't listen
to them.

Ha-ha-ha, that's the funniest
thing I've ever seen.

[ Laughing ]

Ferdy, wait!

[ Too-tall laughing,
sister sighing ]

We tried to tell him.

[ Sighing ]
he didn't listen.

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

[ Brother ]:
ferdy!

[ Straining ]

Oof!

Everything is against me,
even gravity.

[ Brother ]:
uh, ferdy,

For once in your life, you're
totally wrong about something.

You think everyone's against you
because you're smart,

But you're wrong--
it's just that you use

Your smarts to make
everyone else feel dumb.

We try to be your friends,
but you won't let us.

The only one
against you is you.

So, how would you suggest
I change that...

Theoretically speaking?

Sometimes the
best way to make

Friends is to
be one, ferdy.

Sort of like what
you're doing now?

Uh-huh.

Thank you, brother.
[ Whistle blowing ]

Uh-oh, I'm late.

If we don't figure out some
new plays, we're going to get

Creamed by the bulldogs,
just like last year.

Maybe I can help.

[ Laughing ]

Thanks, but catching
the ball with your stomach

Definitely won't work, ha-ha.

[ Chuckling ]

No, you handle the ball.

Let me take care
of the strategy.

I can help you figure out
some winning moves.



I'm really sorry for
laughing at you, ferdy,

And for pretending
to be your friend

To get the homework
answers from you.

My marks were low and--

Apology accepted,
queenie.

And if you'd like
some extra help

With the homework
problems...

That would be nice.

And if too-tall
is interested--

I think he'd appreciate
the help, too.

[ Cheering ]

Oh, look,

Another one of my plays!

Hut-hut!

[ Straining ]

[ Cheering ]

All right, yes!

I call that one "ferdy's
up and over easy" play.

Checkmate.

We win.

Nice going, ferdy. Those
surprise plays were amazing.

Basic strategy: outthinking and
outmanoeuvring your opponent.

Tell that to
the bulldogs.

Forget that. We'll show
them again next year.

[ Cheering ]

We owe you a lot
of thanks, ferdy.

Don't mention it.
After all, what are friends for?

[ Cheering ]

[ Brother and sister ]:
when a cub finds out

That someone's in need,

It feels really nice

To do a good deed.

I hope we get to freddy's before
they pick teams for basketball.

Me too.

I don't want to be
on the losing side again.

Hey, wait up!

Good morning, cubs.

Hi, widder jones.

What happened?

This old tree limb broke off
in the wind last night.

[ Grunting and straining ]

I'll move it
for you.

I can help too.

[ Straining ]

My goodness.

Aren't you a couple
of strong cubs?

[ Grunting ]
this is easy.

[ Grunting ]
yep.

It's a piece
of cake.

Mr. Brown will be
so tickled to get this.

He's always
on the lookout

For wood to burn
in his fireplace.

You were taking this
to mr. Brown's house?

On maple street?

Yes. I hope that's not
too much trouble for you.

Um... No.

It's not too much trouble,
is it, brother?

No, we can do it.

Come on, sis, let's get
this thing delivered.

Thank you, cubs.

You're welcome.

Phew... That was our
good deed for the day.

[ Brother ]:
ha, ha, that's our
good deed for the week.

I hope we aren't going
to be late for basketball.

Even if we are
a bit late,

I'm glad we helped out.

Me too. Come on, let's hurry.

Where did that come from?

Weird. Look!

[ Sighing ]

Oh, dear, what will I do now?

Hi.

My, didn't the two of you
come along in the nick of time.

We did?

My cart's out of commission
and I need someone

To deliver this hot meal
to marjorie brewster.

Her hip's been
acting up again.

Hey! Mrs. Brewster's house
is on the way to freddy's.

Come on, sis, it's
operation meals on heels.

[ Laughing ]

Thank you ever so much.

No problem, widder jones.

See you later.

We'll have this delivery
done in no time.

[ Widder jones ]:
oh, cubs.

Could you please bring me back

Those containers
after she's finished eating?

I'd really appreciate it.

[ Sighing ]
boy, mrs. Brewster
sure is a slow eater.

Ha, it's because
she talks about her

Grandcubs between
every spoonful.

We'll be lucky if we get

To freddy's before
the game is over.

I know. We don't have time
to do any more errands.

We'll just leave this stuff on

Widder jones'
doorstep, she'll see it.

Sure.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Come to widder jones.

Ah, the poor thing.

[ Grunting, laughing ]

Oh, isn't this splendid?

My favourite cubs
have come to the rescue again.

Come to
the rescue?

Or, I should say...

Fluffy's rescue.

[ Meowing ]

Don't worry, widder jones,
we'll get fluffy down.

It's wonderful having cubs
like you in the neighbourhood.

There you go, fluffy.

[ Sister ]:
good kitty.

Climb down.

Come on.
Come on!

Ahh!
[ Sister ]:
yeah!

Hey!
You did it!

Well done.

Could you please
get fluffy off me?

[ Meowing ]

[ Sighing ]

Here's your cat, widder jones.

Oh, fluffy isn't my cat.

He isn't?

No. He belongs to the bearsons.

You mean the bearsons
who live past the library?

That's right.

I'll give them a ring and
tell them you're on your way.

They will be just thrilled
to have fluffy back home.

[ Mama ]:
I'm so pleased

Brother and sister
were able to help you out.

Uh-huh... Oh, yes.

I'll be sure to tell them.

Oh, hold on.

They just came in the door.

Would you like to speak
to one of them?

All right.

It's widder jones.

Huh! You talk to her.

Huh? No way,

I don't want
to talk to her.

What's gotten into you two?

Yes, widder jones thinks
the world of you cubs.

[ Sighing ]

Hello.

Oh, you're welcome.

N-next saturday?

Umm... Well,
actually, sister and I were--

[ Mama ]:
ahem...

Yes, uh, we'll help you
clean out your attic.

Ha, ok... Bye.

Aww... I was supposed to play
at lizzie's on saturday.

And I told lenny
I'd come over

Check out his
new video game.

Those things can always

Wait until another time.

I'm sure lenny and
lizzie will understand.

You know,

You two should be

Very proud
of yourselves.

Helping others
is a tradition

That bear country
was built on.

But we already
helped out

For a whole
afternoon.

Come on, sis.

Let's go do something fun
before it gets dark.

[ Widder jones ]:
you know, it's been years

Since I've been in this attic.

Goodness!

There's so much up here.

It's hard to know
where to start.

We're cleaning
up all this?

It'll take all day.

If we move some of these
things out of the way,

We'll have a spot

To sort things
into a keeper pile

And a pile for
the yard sale next saturday.

Yard sale?

Next... Saturday?

Uh, ha, we're going somewhere
that day, aren't we?

Right.

We're going...

Away.

So, we won't be around
to help out.

[ Laughing nervously ]
at all.

Oh, don't you worry.

I'll be able
to manage on my own.

Come on, sis,
let's get to work.

[ Brother ]:
gee, widder jones,
you sure like birds a lot.

I was the bird lady
in this neighbourhood.

Really?

Uh-huh.

Any time someone
found a sick bird,

They'd bring it to me

To nurse back
to health.

Cool dress.

That's my old
candy striper uniform.

Candy striper?

That's what they call
the young volunteers

Who help at the hospital.

You might as well put this
dress in the yard sale pile.

Ha, ha, I'm a little
too old for that job now.

Whose team is this?

That's a picture
of the bear country homers.

We were league champs
two years in a row.

That was the finest team
I ever coached.

[ Sister ]:
that's you?

[ Widder jones ]:
mm-hmm.

And there's someone
else in the picture

You might recognize too.

[ Brother ]:
there is?

[ Sister ]:
who?

[ Widder jones ]:
the cub in the
front row here?

That's your mama.

No way!

Wow!

She's just a cub.

You know, I think
I just might hang

This downstairs
in the parlour.

Wow! Check out
this old radio.

[ Static squealing ]

Hey, it still works.

[ Broadcaster ]:
good morning from the
station that gets you shaking,

Bear country rock.

And now a new hit
from the buster bruin band,

"Back scratchin' boogie!"

[ Music playing ]

All right.

[ Laughing]
yeah. Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[ Laughing ]

Come on, widder jones.

Dance with us.

[ Laughing ]

You're doing great.
[ Radio signal fading ]

Uh-oh...

[ Chuckling ]

It used to do that
back in the ' s too.

That's why I put it up here.

Oh, I can't put that
old thing in my yard sale.

Gee, you'll be rich when
you sell all this stuff.

Oh, ho, I'm not keeping
the money for myself,

I'm donating it to the library.

Phew... I don't know
if it's hot up here,

Or if I was dancing too hard.

Ah, I think
I need some lemonade.

Would you two
like some?

That would be great.

Yes, please.

Widder jones is really
nice, isn't she?

And she's always doing
things for everybody else.

It won't be easy for her
to get all this stuff

Outside by herself
next weekend.

I know.

Are you doing anything
important next saturday?

Ha... Yeah, kind of.

I'm helping out a neighbour
at her yard sale.

Me too.

[ Chattering excitedly ]

It's a real antique.

Widder jones says it's
nearly as old as she is.

Oh, well...

It certainly
is comfortable.

I think
I'll take it.

[ Sister ]:
it's widder jones'
old glove.

She used to coach
the bear country homers.

Is that so?

You have
yourself a deal.

Thank you, sir.

Have a nice day.

Pretty soon there won't
be anything left to sell.

I know.

It feels good
helping widder jones.

I like doing this.

Me too.

The library
is going to be

Very pleased indeed.

I don't know how
I'll ever thank you.

We're the ones
who should be thanking you.

Thanking me?

For what?

For teaching us
about helping others.

Judging by what
good helpers you are,

I'd say I did
a pretty good job.

[ Meowing ]

Oh, no.

[ Brother ]:
fluffy?

[ Meowing ]

What's he doing
back here?

Come on, sis.

Looks like we've got
some more work to do.

[ Laughing ]

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