07x04 - The Sam Problem/Mac the Fork

[bunniefuu]

- One, two!
A one, two, three, four!

♪♪♪

♪♪ Peg plus Cat ♪
(Cat tooting like a trombone)

♪ Peg plus Cat ♪
(Cat tooting)

- ♪ One two three
- Yeah, c'mon let's go ♪

- ♪ Four five six
- Hey, what do you know ♪

- ♪ Seven eight nine
- Whoa, what comes next? ♪

- Uh, ten?
- (kids): Ten!

- ♪ You're the best ♪
(kids cheering)

♪ We are two, na na na na na ♪

♪ Me plus you,
na na na na na ♪

♪ We're Peg plus
- Cat ♪

- ♪ Peg plus
- Cat ♪

- ♪ Peg plus
- Ca-at ♪

- ♪ Peg plus Cat ♪♪
(all laughing)

- The Sam Problem.

Hmm...

Ah-ha!

♪♪♪

(bird twittering)

- At Peg's Pizza Place,

we've had
some really big-deal customers.

- Like...
- Queen Cleopatra!

- And...
- Ludwig Van Beethoven!

But today, we're welcoming

for the first time ever...

(musical cue)
...Sam!

- Uh... who?

- Sam is Jesse's mom's friend,
and Jesse's friend too.

- ♪ Everything's better
with Sam ♪

- For Sam's first time here,

we've got to make sure
they have the best table.

- Sorry, Pirates, this table's
reserved for the Jesse party.

- (Pirates): Arrr!
- And the best menus.

- Sorry!
- And we should

definitely have...
- Yes.

- (together):
Really fancy necklaces!

- I'll put a one with a five
to make fifteen.

They will feel the love
with Jesse's favorite number.

- I'll bend an eight
so they'll feel the love

with love!

- How about one
of your amazing salads, Ramone?

- Coming right up!

- We love
the salads here,

especially...
- (together): The olives!

- They divide up the twelve
olives so we each get six.

- One, one.
- One!

- Two, two.
- Two!

- Three, three.
- Three!

- Four, four.
- Four?!

- And that's all?!

- Four isn't six!

- We can live
without a couple of olives.

- (together): I'll live!
(Jesse and his mom laughing)

- We have no idea what happened
to the rest of the olives!

- (Peg and Cat):
We've got a big problem!

- Every salad
at Peg's Pizza Place

has twelve olives. When it's
just Jesse and his mom,

they divide the olives two ways.

- So they each get
one, two,

three, four, five, six.

- But today they're dividing
the olives three ways,

because of Sam.
- So they each get

one, two, three, four.

- Whoa!
- If they were dividing them

four ways,
they'd each get three.

- So the more parts
you divide stuff into,

the fewer
each person gets.

Thanks, Ramone.
- I do what I can.

- We'll explain
that they each get fewer olives

because they brought
an extra person.

And so...
- ♪♪ Problem solved ♪

♪ The problem is solved ♪

♪ We solved the problem
Problem solved ♪♪

- So anyway, Jesse,
Sam and I wanted to tell you

that we're getting married!

It's great news, right?
- It's, uh, uh...

I've got a really big problem!

Sam makes Mom happy.
- OK...

- I want Mom to be happy.
- Of course.

- Sam makes me happy too.
- And yet somehow...

- You're not sure how you feel
about them getting married.

- Yeah.
- Ye should be
jolly as a pirate!

- The more in your family
the merrier!

- We "loves" bein'
a big ol' band of pirates.

- (Pirates): Arrr!
- (Parrot): Awk!

- But, Pirates,
Ramone just explained

some math to me
that's making me wonder

if more in a group
isn't merrier.

It's really making me think.
And I wonder if it might be

worrying Jesse too.
Check it out.

With the Parrot,
there are five of you.

So if you divide up a trunk
of twenty jewels evenly,

you each get four.
- Four jewels is sweet!

- But if there were
only four of you,

you'd each get five.
- Five jewels is sweeter!

- If there were only two,
you'd each get ten.

- (Pirates): Ten jewels?!
- ♪♪ I love our pirate g*ng ♪

- ♪ We always have enough ♪

- ♪ But in a smaller group
- We'd get more stuff ♪

- ♪ So why stay together ♪

- ♪ I'm suddenly not sure ♪

- ♪ I think we better ♪

- ♪ Think some more ♪♪

- (Parrot): Awk!

(cheery music)

- So, Clowns, we need
your help figuring out

how Jesse should feel about his
family becoming a bigger group.

(honk)
- He says they work

in their group of clowns.
(honk)

- They live in their group
of clowns...

(honk)
- They love being

in a big group of bananas.
(honk)

- I mean clowns.
- Yeah, but, Clowns,

when you do that act
where you all squeeze

into one car,
it's really funny.

But if there were fewer clowns,

you'd each have more room.

If there were only two,

everybody could really
spread out!

At the table, you could each
have your own seat,

instead of having to squish!
(honk)

- ♪♪ They say
they like their act ♪♪

♪ It makes the people laugh ♪

♪ But being in a smaller group ♪

♪ Would sure have
its giraffe ♪

(honking)
I mean advantages.
- ♪ So why stay together ♪

- ♪ What do ye do it for ♪

- ♪ I think we better ♪

- ♪ Think some more ♪♪

- What about you guys,
Peg and Cat?

- What about us?
- ♪ How do you two do it ♪

- ♪ Sharing every seat ♪

- ♪ Dividing every single
sandwich that you eat ♪

- ♪ We love our little duo ♪

- ♪ And yet I guess it's true ♪

- ♪ More pickles would be nice ♪

♪ We need to think it through ♪

♪ Like you and you and you ♪♪

- Jesse!

- ♪♪ She wants me at the table ♪

♪ Wants me right away ♪

♪ My question's still
not answered ♪

♪ I don't know what to say ♪

- ♪ Why do we stay together ♪

- ♪ We are all filled
with doubt ♪♪

- And now I guess we all are...

(dramatic musical cue)

- (all): Totally freaking out!

- Albert Einstein!

- Peg und Cat
und Jesse!

- Sorry to interrupt
your equations.

- And your soup.
- The thing is,

Jesse's Mom is getting married.

- Congratulations, Jesse!
What wonderful news!

- But more people in a family
means dividing stuff up

more ways and getting less.
So how is it wonderful?

- The answer has to do
with finite and infinite.

Things like olives and seats
at the table are finite.

There are a certain number
that can be counted.

When you divide them up,
everybody gets less!

But the most important things
in a family are infinite.

You can divide them up
all you want,

and you always have enough.
- I don't understand.

- And I have no idea
what you're talking about!

- Well... infinite means
there are so many

you could never
count them all,

like the stars
in the sky.

If you divided up the sky

and all the stars
on one side were Peg's

and all the stars
on the other side were Cat's,

you'd both still
have more stars

than you could ever count.
When something's

infinite, there's always enough
for everyone.

- Why'd you write
a sideways eight on my stars?

- That's the sign for infinity.
An infinite amount.

- OK, uh...
Thanks, Al...

- So, what's dividing up stars
gotta do with Mom marrying Sam?

- Uh, well,
maybe Al was saying...

- Ah!
(Peg gasping)

- That's it,
you shape-shifting genius!

- Huh?

- Your heart
was an infinity sign.

Al was saying love is infinite!

You can divide it up
all you want,

and you'll always have enough
love, even if your mom
gets married.

- I'll have less
of the finite stuff.

- Less olives in the salad.
- Yeah!

- And less choice of chairs
at the table.

- Yeah.
- You don't really care

about those things though,
do you, Jesse?

- Not so much.
- What you really care about

is your Mom's love.
- Yeah.

- You don't have to worry
about that, Jesse.

♪♪ Your mother's love
is infinite ♪

♪ It's like the stars above ♪

♪ Her love cannot be counted ♪

♪ She'll always have more love ♪

♪ She can love
another person ♪

♪ Another two or three ♪

♪ And still love you so much ♪

♪ As much as much can ever be ♪

♪ It's not like chairs
or olives ♪

♪ You never need to doubt ♪

♪ Your mother's love
is infinite ♪

♪ It won't run out ♪♪

- (Cat): Aww!

- That's great for those guys.
- But what about us!

(clown honking)

- ♪♪ It's true for you
and any crew ♪

♪ That cares for one another ♪

♪ Come see some more
You'll see that you're ♪

♪ Like Jesse and his mother ♪

- ♪ The love we share
is infinite ♪

♪ Enormous as the sky ♪

- ♪ It's not like rolls
and butter ♪

♪ There's an infinite supply ♪

♪ Finite things
like meatballs ♪

♪ We negotiate with care ♪

- ♪ When there's
one last piece of pie ♪

♪ Well then we struggle
to be fair ♪

- ♪ But when it comes
to hugging ♪

- ♪ You never have to doubt ♪

- ♪ The love we share
is infinite ♪

- ♪ It won't run out ♪♪

- I think I "gets" it.
- Jewels are finite.

- But friendship
and love are infinite.

- The infinite stuff's
way more important.

- (Pirates): And that's why
we stay together!

(honking)
- Even the Clowns drink mustard.

I mean understand.
- ♪♪ It's true for me ♪

♪ And you and we ♪

♪ It's true for everybody ♪

- ♪ How can there be infinity ♪

♪ Inside that little body ♪

- ♪ My love for you
is infinite ♪

♪ It never will run out ♪

♪ I love you when you're quiet ♪

♪ I love you when you shout ♪

♪ I love you
when you're falling ♪

♪ Or flying really high ♪

♪ I love you
when you're laughing ♪

♪ And I love you when you cry ♪

♪ I love you
when you're with me ♪

♪ I love you when you're gone ♪

- ♪ My love for you
is infinite ♪

♪ It just goes on ♪

- ♪ And on ♪

- ♪ And on
- And on ♪

- ♪ And on ♪♪

- You understand
clown talk really well.

- I speak clown too, you know.

- So how do you say
"flowers" in clown?

(honk)
- Cool!

- No! I'm allergic to roses!
And when I sneeze,

my honk sounds like clown
for "cover me in mustard!"

- Uh oh!
- AH! AH! HONK!

Luckily, they misunderstood!
(Peg and Cat laughing)

(Peg and cat sighing happily)

- Live from the tree, it's...

- (both): Amazing People!

- Today on Amazing People,

the amazing Pig has come
to help us write a theme song.

- (singing opera):
♪♪ Amazing People is the show ♪

- (Peg and Cat):
It's our new theme song, yo!

- ♪ Where friends of Peg and Cat
come say hello ♪

- ♪ Amazing people ♪

- ♪ Even if you're fast asleep ♪

♪ You'll awake to see ♪

♪ The only show ♪

♪ For me ♪
- Here he goes.

- ♪ Amazing Peeeeeeeo ♪
- Taking it up a notch!

- ♪ Amazing Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ♪
(birds twittering)

- Whoa-oh!
♪ Eeeeeeeeeeeeooople ♪♪

- I love it!

- But nobody can sing it
but the Pig!

So we've still got
no theme song on...

- ♪ Amazing People ♪

♪♪♪

- One, two!
A one, two, three, four!

♪♪♪

♪♪ Peg plus Cat ♪
(Cat tooting like a trombone)

♪ Peg plus Cat ♪
(Cat tooting)

- ♪ One two three
- Yeah, c'mon let's go ♪

- ♪ Four five six
- Hey, what do you know ♪

- ♪ Seven eight nine
- Whoa, what comes next? ♪

- Uh, ten?
- (kids): Ten!

- ♪ You're the best ♪
(kids cheering)

♪ We are two, na na na na na ♪

♪ Me plus you,
na na na na na ♪

♪ We're Peg plus
- Cat ♪

- ♪ Peg plus
- Cat ♪

- ♪ Peg plus
- Ca-at ♪

- ♪ Peg plus Cat ♪♪
(all laughing)

♪♪♪
- Mac the Fork.

(gasp)
Mac the Fork!

♪♪♪

- ♪♪ Mega Mall, Mega Mall
Love that Mega Mall ♪

- ♪ Love it all, love it all
- Cat and I love to ♪

- ♪ Peg and I love to
- Lunch munch ♪♪

- Cat and I love
to munch on lunch all right.

- Lunch munch!
- So we're dividing up our pork

with snow peas
using fair sharing.

- Which is very fair.
- There are eight pieces of pork

so we each get four.
Now to divide up the...

- Peas please!
- There are ten all together,

so we each get one...
- Hello!

- ...two...
- Welcome.

- ...three...
- Good to have you.

- ...four...
- What's up, little guy?

- ...five!
- My snow-pea dream team!

- We've each got four pieces
of pork and five snow peas.

So let's eat!
- NOOO!

I've only got one pea!
- If Cat had five snow peas,

but now he only has one,

that means one, two, three,
four snow peas vanished!

- My pork has a...
- (both): Big problem!

- Hmmm... Missing
four snow peas, you say?

- Mall Detective Ramone!

- Any idea what happened
to my peas?

- If there were five
or three missing,

I'd have no idea.

But since there are four, I know
exactly what happened to them.

- So, you wanna tell us already?

- I think he wants
to explain in a song.

- Oh!

- ♪♪ Oh, the fork has ♪

♪ Four long thingies ♪

♪ So four niblets ♪

♪ Won't be dropped ♪

♪ Mac the Fork moves ♪

♪ Swift as lightning ♪

♪ So his fork
cannot be stopped ♪♪

- (Peg): Mac the Fork?!

- He's famous
for his super-fast fork.

And his white gloves
and bowler hat!

- (Cat): Oh, the hat's shaped
like a bowl all right.

- You think he's the one
who took four peas from Cat?

- And four little
pieces of food

from other customers
all through the food court!

- This Mac the Fork
dude is a...

- (together):
REALLY BIG PROBLEM!

- So why don't you catch
Mac the Fork, Detective?

- My boss said I'm not supposed
to bother about little
bits of food,

unless there are forty stolen
all together.

- How many has he got so far?
- Well, let's see.

- He took one, two,
three, four from Cat.

Plus...
- ♪♪ Little Tessa ♪

♪ Had her pizza ♪

♪ Topped with mushrooms
Missing four ♪

- He took the toppings
off her pizza?!

- ♪ Meanwhile Mora ♪

♪ With her tofu ♪

♪ Has got no fu any more ♪

- Who would rob a bowl of soup?!
- Mac the Fork apparently!

- (Peg): Tessa's four mushrooms
makes eight,

and Mora's four pieces of tofu

brings us up
to twelve altogether.

- ♪ Connie's missing ♪
- Where'd they go?

- ♪ Juicy raisins ♪
- I want my raisins!

- ♪ Viv's without four ♪
- Hello?!

- ♪ Fava beans ♪
- Not my favas!

- ♪ They adore each ♪

- ♪ We've lost four each ♪

- ♪ Mackie, did you raid ♪

♪ Our greens ♪

- Is no salad safe?!

- (Peg): Connie's four raisins
brings us up to sixteen.

Plus Viv's four fava beans
makes twenty.

We're not nearly up to forty.

- So Ramone can't arrest
Mac the Fork yet.

- But the total
is growing! Look!

- ♪ Billie Holiday
- Doop doo ♪

- ♪ With her sundae
- Bop boo ♪

- ♪ With four peanuts
- Bop boo ♪

- ♪ Fudge that's hot
- Hot hot ♪

- ♪ Where are those peanuts
- Where'd they go ♪

- ♪ I don't see nuts
- No no no ♪

- ♪ Happy Holiday
- Happy Holiday ♪

- ♪ I think not
- I think not ♪

- (Peg): Adding
those four peanuts
takes us up to twenty-four.

- ♪ Queen of Night looks
- Boop bah ♪

- ♪ Through this fruit mix
- Boop bah ♪

- ♪ There's four prunes in
- Boop bah ♪

- ♪ Every pack ♪
(woman gasping)

- ♪ Meanwhile Mermaid
- Shadooby ♪

- ♪ Has no meatballs
- Shadooby ♪

- Spaghetti without meatballs?!
- ♪ Were they on the fork
of Mac ♪

- (Cat): You bet they were!

- (Peg): Four prunes
makes twenty-eight.

Four meatballs makes thirty-two.

Only eight more to get to forty.
That's two fours.

- ♪ Marie Curie
- Cure cure Curie ♪

- ♪ Cleopatra
- Pat pat patra ♪

- ♪ Eating yogurt
- Yo yo yogurt ♪

- ♪ It's low fat
- So low fat ♪

- ♪ Where my berries
- All four ♪

- ♪ Where my cherries
- Four more ♪

- ♪ With the guy
in the bowler hat ♪

- ♪ Imagine that ♪

- Four blueberries
makes thirty-six.

Four cherries makes forty!

So that's...
- Four!

- Eight!
- Twelve!

- Sixteen!
- Twenty!

- Twenty-four!
- Twenty-eight!
- Thirty-two!

- Thirty-six and forty!
♪ From the yogurt ♪

♪ That's low fat
- So low in fat ♪

- ♪ We had four each ♪

- ♪ We adore each ♪

- ♪ Now let's find
that guy in the bowler hat ♪

- ♪ Hat, hat, hat yeah ♪

- ♪ Heee heee!
- Hat, hat, hat yeah ♪

- ♪ Mackie you're through
and that's that ♪♪

(cheering)

So how can we figure out

where Mac the Fork's
hiding, Detective?

- By searching
for clues everywhere.

- Search the floor, the wall!

- I can't even see the wall with
all these stripes in the way.

Get out of here, stripes!

- You genius Cat! These one,
two, three, four stripes

could have been left

by four berries
on the end of Mac's fork

if he accidentally brushed
the wall

with the stolen berries,
like this.

- So to find Mac,
let's follow the stripes to...

- The White Gloves and
Bowler Hat Store!
- Of course!

- There's Mac now!
- (Ramone): He's putting

all the stolen food
into a salad.

- My snow peas!
- I'll go in there
and arrest him.

- Wait, Detective!
If Mac sees you

and tries to flee,
he'll take the salad!

- I'd never see
my snow peas again!

- Then, let's distract him
with the thing he loves most.

- (Peg and Cat): A fork!
- But not just any fork!

(majestic music)
- The world's largest fork

from Springfield, Missouri!

- (Cat): He's really into it!

- (Peg): He's just standing
there staring!

- While I hold up
the giant fork,

you guys sneak in there
and get back the stolen food.

♪♪♪

- It is I, Peg the Spoon.

- And Cat the Butter Kn*fe.

- Ready to get back
some stolen goodies!

- Your spoon got way more
than my butter Kn*fe!

- So let's divide them up evenly
using fair sharing.

One for me.
- One for me.

- Two for me.
- Two for me.

- It took all that time
just to get through the tofu?!

- The world's largest fork
is really heavy!

- If we don't divide up
the food fast, Ramone
will drop the fork!

- Mac will see us
and come after the goodies!

- Peg the Spoon
is totally freaking out!

Cat the Butter Kn*fe is right.

I should count backwards
from five and calm down.

Five, four...

- ACHOO!

- That's it,
you-stopping-me-at-four genius.

We can divide up the food fairly
four pieces at a time.

It'll be way faster.
♪♪♪

Four.

- Eight.
- ♪♪ Problem solved ♪

- Twelve.
- Sixteen.

- ♪ The problem is solved ♪
- Twenty.

- Twenty-four.
- ♪ You solved the problem ♪

- Twenty-eight.
- Thirty-two.

- ♪ So everything is awesome ♪

- Thirty-six.
- Forty!

- ♪ Problem solved ♪♪

- Peg the Spoon
and Cat the Butter Kn*fe

each gave back twenty goodies.
- Stolen

by Mac the Fork!

- ♪♪ Don't even try to flee ♪

- ♪ You'll never get past me ♪

- ♪ Or me
- Or me ♪

- ♪ Or me
- Or meeee ♪

- ♪ I shall not flee ♪

- ♪ What shall
his punishment be ♪♪

- Why does the Pig get to decide
how to punish Mac the Fork?

- He's my boss.
He runs the mall.

- No wonder
the mall runs so smoothly.

- (singing opera)
♪ Since Mac robbed customers ♪

♪ From sea and sky and New York!

♪ Take away his fork ♪

- ♪ Not my fork ♪

♪ Don't take my fork
Please I'm begging you, look ♪

♪ Mackie is kneeling
in helpless defeat ♪

♪ Though I took food
you should know that I took ♪

♪ Only the extra stuff
you never eat ♪

♪ I watched you eating
your fancy dessert ♪

♪ Salad and yogurt and soup
every day ♪

♪ Watching you leave extra bits
How it hurt ♪

♪ Watching them sit
'til you'd throw them away ♪

♪ Don't leave me
floating adrift like a cork ♪

♪ Friends, I am begging you,
don't take my fork ♪

- ♪ Maybe he's right
about what stuff I eat ♪

♪ Now that I think of it
I'm kinda sure ♪

♪ Though I will eat
every last bit of meat ♪

♪ I always leave a few peas
I think four ♪

- ♪ I leave four berries uneaten
- Me too ♪

- ♪ I leave four meatballs
They're so overcooked ♪

- ♪ I loved those nuts
on my sundae but true ♪

♪ Mostly I just liked
the way that they looked ♪

- ♪ Maybe we shouldn't leave Mac
so sad faced ♪

♪ He was just teaching us
we shouldn't waste ♪

- ♪ Wait ♪

♪ Although you're right
it's not good to waste food ♪

♪ You shouldn't just stick
your fork onto plates ♪

♪ And in bowls and on pizzas
that don't belong to you ♪

♪ Without asking ♪

♪ It's ruuuuuuuuuude ♪

- Oh. Huh.

Yeah, I can see
how that would be annoying.

I won't do it again!

- ♪ Then Mac can keep
his fork ♪♪

- (together): Hooray!

- ♪♪ So we're tasting ♪

♪ Without wasting ♪

- May I?
- Of course!

- ♪ Every snow pea
with the pork ♪

- ♪ Pork pork pork pork ♪

- ♪ I'm politer ♪

- ♪ The mall's all right-er ♪

- ♪ Thanks to math ♪

- ♪ Thanks to math
- Thanks to math ♪

- ♪ Thanks to math
and Mac the Fork ♪♪

- Look out, old Mackie is back!

Hah!

- I can't get that Mac the Fork
song out of my head.

- It really stays
with you, right?

♪♪♪
- You're playing it now!

- I wasn't trying to!

(Cat tooting the song)

- I can't stop
hearing it!

- ♪ Dum duh dumm dumm ♪

Ugh! Me too!

- These machines will drown out
the song in our heads!

(machines humming)
- Finally!

(both laughing)

- (both): ♪ Dum duh dum dumm ♪
NOOOO!

(Cat tooting)