06x03 - Musical Chairs/The Taunting Hour

[bunniefuu]

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show
our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

Poo-poo.

[soft romantic music]

♪ ♪

Okay, call her.

[line trills]
[stammers]

I changed my mind. Hang up.

[sighs]

Okay, I'm good. Call her.
Nope! Hang up! Hang up!

[groans]

Um, what's going on?

[chittering]

Okay, from what I understand...

My raccoon's a little rusty...

The lady
on the framed turkey label

is Flip's old
middle school crush.

Um, Tommy Hobblesfort?

Tammy Gobblesworth!

[sighs]
My one true love.

I always thought she and I
would eat food off

of other people's plates
together forever.

But then I got locked out
of the school dance

and missed my one sh*t
to impress her!

[chittering]

Ever since Flip found the label,

he's been attempting to call
and ask her to dinner.

But he keeps chickening out.

Hey!
Chickening out is a bit harsh.

Flip, you can totally do this.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Yeah! You're Flip Fillipini!
You're a legend!

I suppose I am
pretty Flip-tastic.

Okay, gimme that phone!

[touch tones dial, line trills]

Gobblesworth Farms.
How can I help you?

Tammy Gobblesworth, please.

Tell her it's
Philip Fillipini calling.

Philip Fillipini?
What a wonderful surprise!

Oh! I am gobble smacked!

[yelps]

[tense music]

Whoa!

Philip, are you there?

Flip, say something!

Hello?

Uh, you bet
it's old Flip, uh, Philip!

[laughs]
What's shakin', eggs n' bacon?

Hey, you wanna catch up
over some grub?

Say, tomorrow night
at Lynn's Table, 7:00?

Oh! I'd love to!
Gobble gobble.

Eh, sorry, Loudies,

I panicked, and the ol'
word maker shut down.

You saved my butt.

I'm not much of a hugger,
so here's some beef jerky.

My way of saying thanks.

[chittering]

Yeah, I'll give you some too.

Welcome to "Flip This Dump,"

where we take buildings
that are complete disasters

and make them shiny
and new again.

The word flip makes me think
of yesterday.

It was cool
seeing Flip so happy!

Both: [gasp]
Flip?

Why would you kids make me think

I could go on a date
with Tammy Gobblesworth?

Uh, why not?
You were so excited yesterday!

Yeah, and then I read

this article about her
in "Tycoon Monthly."

She's fashionable,
smart and glamorous!

She'll take a look at me
and run for the hills!

I heard someone say fashionable.

I heard smart.

And I heard glamorous.

Please!
You guys gotta help me!

I need to be presentable
if I'm goin' on this date.

Don't worry, Flip.

You can count on us!
Right, guys?

All: Mm-hmm.

Welcome to "Flip This Flip,"
where we take people

who are complete disasters
and make them shiny and new!

Let's meet our panel of experts.

Lana, hygiene.

Leni, fashion.

Lola, etiquette.

Lisa, interesting conversation.

Lincoln, transportation.

What?

You guys took all
the good categories.

[upbeat music]

Usually, I'm opposed to baths,

but I understand you gotta make
a good first impression.

Ooh!

Very nice.
Let me get you a towel.

[gasps]

So you're gonna give me things

to talk about with Tammy?

Mm, let's keep this simple.

Just talk about the weather and
wear these fashionable

yet technologically
advanced socks.

Ooh, what do these babies do?
Never mind.

If they hide my bunions
and hammertoes,

that's a job well done.

Today, Flip,

we're going to get you ready
for dinner with Tammy,

and we're gonna
have fun doing it.

[whistle trills]
Sit up straight!

Feet on the floor!
Elbows off the table!

Now, which one
is the salad fork?

[stammering]

[whistle trills]
- I don't have all day, grunt!

Okay, Flip, let's see
the outfit options.

Dazzle me.

Uh-uh.

Eww.

[gasps]
Ugh.

[groans]

[gasps]
[shrieks]

Presenting the new
and totes flipped...

all: Philip Fillipini!

[sultry music]

Flip, you look amazing.

And check out these
conversation-starting socks

from Brainy Loud.

Socks? That's fashion.

Lisa, you could have
at least consulted with...

[gasps]
I totes approve.

Why would you give him socks?

[chuckles] Just trust me.

Flip, your rented
chariot awaits.

Best of luck to you on this
momentous evening, Flip.

Hold the cheese!

I need you gals
on the date with me!

Come on, if you're not there,

ol' Flip might wreck everything.

Okay, we'll come.

Aww, you're the best, Loudies.

Jerky.
It's how he says thank you.

[Lincoln groaning]

She was supposed
to be here by now.

She's not coming!
I knew it!

[gasps]

It's her.

[groans]

Oh no! Flip's frozen.

Relax, I anticipated this.

[laughs]

Tickle socks?
You're a genius.

Tell me something Mensa,

the Nobel committee
and I don't know.

Uh, hey, Tammy.
How about this weather, huh?

So humid I'm pitting
by 9:00 a.m.

Uh, I mean, uh, it's the pits!

Look at you!

You've changed so much
since middle school

I almost didn't recognize you!

Yes, isn't Philip sophisticated?

Now let's eat
before he blows everything.

I mean, can I tell you
tonight's specials?

[gasps] Aw.

[grunting]

[soft romantic music]

♪ ♪

[groans]

[panting]

[chuckles]

Now on to the extra classy
second part

of the date: the opera.

Oh, how lovely.

[dramatic orchestral music]

[vocalizing]

It's been twenty minutes,
and everything's going well.

Mm. Negatory.
Old Flip has resurfaced.

And he has a beach ball.

I'm on it!

[yelps] Oof!

[vocalizing]

Okay, Flip seems focused
and quiet.

Yeah, the only noise

is from that yelly lady
in the horn hat.

[snoring]

Guys, Flip's quiet
because he's asleep!

He's gonna snore
and ruin everything.

[inhales]
- Eh-eh-eh.

Let me get my money's worth
outta those socks.

I didn't eat the hot dog,
it was Santa!

Oh, I mean, uh, would you like
some popcorn, Tammy?

- Mm-hmm!
- Uh, I'll be right back.

♪ ♪

[grunts, yelps]
- [gasps]

[discordant tuba note]

Oh dear.

Sorry about that.
We'll be right back.

[all grunting]

Ah, you did your best,
Loudsters.

I blew it with Tammy.

[gasps]
Blew it. Yes!

[inhales]

[discordant tuba note]
- [yells] Hey!

Oh, Philip, are you okay?
And where are your pants?

Uh, I gotta level with ya,
Tammy.

I'm not a fancy,
tuxedo-wearing guy

who oozes sophistication.

The only thing I ooze
is nacho cheese.

Seriously, my sweat is orange.

I was only tryin' to impress you

'cause you're so classy
and glamorous.

I'm not classy, I'm just gassy.

[laughs]

Oh, now, this is
the Philip I remember.

The one I missed.

Really? Oh, what's the point?
We got nothin' in common.

Well, we actually have more
in common than you think.

You know, all that glitz
and glamor,

it's just for the magazines.

You know, I got turkeys to sell!

But when I'm at home
I'm more like, well this.

[all gasp]

Well, this is the real me.

[belches]
[giggles]

I was late for dinner because
when I got to the restaurant,

I saw you all gussied up
and went home to change.

I was trying to impress you too.

[laughs]

Boy, we're a couple
of ding dongs, huh?

Hey, look, why don't we
start the date over

at the Food and Fuel?

We can sit on my dumpster lid
and look up at the stars.

I'd say we could have
some jerky, too,

but I'm all out.

I had a lot of people
to thank today.

[soft romantic music]

Okay, on three, your favorite
thing to do on Sundays.

One, two, three!

Both: Lick the frosting off
bakery cupcakes

when no one is looking.

[both laugh]

Hey Fillipini, remember this?

Boy, do I?
Hey, do you remember this?

[farts]

Oh, I've missed that harmony.

This is the grossest date
I've ever seen.

It's totes weird,
but kinda sweet.

Oh, I'm glad you called,
Philip Fillipini.

Actually, call me Flip.

And I'm glad I called, too,
Tammy Gobblesworth.

You always leave me
gobble smacked.

[farts]
[all groan]

Next time, I'm hiring a limo.
[grunts]

[playful spooky music]

♪ ♪

Okay, salespeople,
normies love cheerfulness.

Let's see those smiles.

Forget the smiles.

Gloomy morning, Mr. Grouse.

Would you be interested
in buying

some homemade eyeball pops?

We're raising money to attend
Casket Con this weekend.

They'll be unveiling the new

Model C casket
from Caskets 'R Us!

It hovers, thereby totally
removing the need

for pallbearers.

We're running a special.

Four eyeball pops
for the price of three!

Not now, creepy Loud
and your creepy friends.

I've got my own problem.

I can't catch my couch
to take a nap.

[eerie music]

Oh, yeah,
that's a ghost problem.

What was your first clue?

When my love seat
walked itself into the kitchen?

Can you spooky kids help?

Uh, lose the 'tude
and we got a deal.

Well, I make no promises.

We'll get to the bottom
of this, Mr. Grouse.

Spirits of the shadow world,
who is haunting this house?

We ask that you reveal yourself
to us and Mr. Grouse!

All: Ooh, ahh!

- [giggling]
- That tickles.

My word!

I'm so tall
and hairless and young!

[laughs]

Aw, why does Boris
get to be possessed?

To whom are we speaking?

And why are you destroying
my dang house?

I'm Lady Emmeline!
I owned this home ages ago.

And I'm not the one
destroying it.

You are!

I hosted the season's
best soirées in this room.

We had gold-plated antiques,
Persian rugs,

fine art on display.

Now there's just this.
- [yelps]

Unless you redecorate,
I'll haunt you forever.

Ah, so she's in limbo.

The place between our world
and the afterlife.

Until her unfinished business
is dealt with,

she won't cross over.

Well tough! I like my stuff!
I'm not changing it!

Oof! Oh, fine.

[laughs]

Beautiful. Ooh!

Eh, it's okay.

That was a crazy feeling.

Well, now you're just
rubbing it in.

Well, that was fun.

And don't even think
about changing it back

because I'll be watching.

I'm glad that ghost lady's gone.

Keep your eyeballs, but you
creepy kids earned this.

Thanks.

This is a lot of money.
New plan.

We help other people
who are being haunted

and raise money for Casket Con.

Good morrow.
Are you haunted by a specter?

All:
♪ If a ghost is haunting you ♪

♪ And you have no clue
what to do ♪

♪ Don't just stand
and scream ♪

all: ♪ Call the number
on your screen ♪

And now we wait for customers.

[gasps]
The bone phone. A customer.

[objects clattering]
- Ah! Help me!

We're officially in business.

[spooky music]

It's destroying my clothing

and spilling my most expensive
cologne, Night Sweat.

You have to help me.

Ghost, reveal yourself.

[all gasp]

Spirit, what is your
unfinished business here?

I was supposed to be buried
in a real tux,

but this joker put me
in a tuxedo T-shirt!

I want a refund!

No refunds!

Besides, your order form
just said "tuxedo,"

so I went
with our casual package.

I can't cross over in this.

I'll be laughed out
of the afterlife.

- What about an exchange?
- Ooh!

Now this is what
I'm talking about.

And here's your complimentary
bottle of Night Sweat.

Yeah, I'm good.

I suggest y'all step back.

[yells]

- What the hex was that?
- I ain't got no idea!

But every morning
when I come out

to feed the animals,
it wallops me.

Show yourself, spirit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oof!

- [heehaws]
- [gasps]

It's Mee-Maw's
prize donkey, Dolly.

Do you know why Dolly
is haunting you?

I do.

I once broke our fence
mudwrestling with Virginia

and then blamed it on Dolly.

[heehaws]

I know, ain't a moment
I'm too proud of.

Dolly,
I'm gonna make this right.

Brace yourself, Mee-Maw.

You're about to be madder
than a wet peacock.

[laughs]

Something keeps
changing our channel!

And we're missing
the season finale

of "Southern Hospitality."

This is definitely
the work of a ghost.

Spirit, show yourself.

[both gasp]

This used to be my pad, brahs,

and I need to find out
who wins "Hipster Island."

I use bra pads too!

But we gotta see
if Sue-Ellen chooses Brad

or his evil twin Chad.

You could always record
"Southern Hospitality"

and watch it later.

Well, we'll have to delete

some of our crime shows,
but it's a deal.

Make yourself comfy!

I'll be right back
with three bowls of ice cream.

[suspenseful music]

We have a grave problem, g*ng.

This phone hasn't rung
in two hours.

I think we've helped all
the ghosts in town cross over.

But no more ghosts means
no Casket Con.

We only need one more customer.

I hate to suggest this,
but these are desperate times.

What if we summon our own ghost
to haunt someone

and charge them
to get rid of it?

We'll need to find
the right ghost.

Someone who will play along.

This one says
he was a prankster.

I think we found our ghost.
Everyone join hands.

Spirit, rise
and have our thanks.

We need your help
for one more prank.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Thank you for coming,
dear spirit.

Everybody on the
other side calls me Buzz.

Nice to meet you.

Why do they call you...

[laughs]

Buzz, word around the cemetery

is you're a pranking legend.

We need your help.

Can you pretend to haunt someone

and then let us capture you?

You can pick whoever you want.

Say no more!

I know just the person.
My old next-door neighbor!

She was always a pain
in my side.

Time for my daily pudding pour.

[yelling]

[laughing]

- [gasps]
- [laughs]

Buzz!
I should've known it was you.

Both:
No, no, no, no, no!

[both yelling]

You're the creepy kids from TV.

Thank you, you're too kind.

I've got a ghost problem,
and I need your help!

[Buzz cackling]

He's ransacking the joint,

and all you brought
was a fancy vacuum?

It's not a vacuum,

it's an "AARGH"
ghost containment device.

By the way, no one tell Lincoln
I borrowed it.

[laughs] Oh!

[yelling]

I guess I've been canned.

[all cheer]

[wheezes, coughs]

You guys couldn't clean
that canister first?

Nice doing business with you.

Let's get you back
to the portal and...

Change of plans!

Turns out haunting people
is the bee's knees!

But what about the afterlife?

Heh. Overrated. Later!

Buzz is going to terrorize
all of Royal Woods

if we don't stop him.

But Casket Con's only open
for another hour!

We're going to miss
the unveiling of the Model C.

Sigh.

We created this mess,
so we need to clean it up.

We got your call, Dad.
Where's the ghost?

It's in the dining room!
And it took all my tiny forks!

Ha! Catch me if you can!

Free Flippees for all!
Get 'em while they're cold.

They are not now,
nor have ever been,

nor ever will be free.

Help!

We got this, Flip.
We can trap him with salt!

Sounds good,
but you're paying for it!

- [yelps]
- Get back here, Buzz.

[playful spooky music]

[laughs] Huh?

[grunting]

Salt?

Why don't you cover me in butter

and roast me while you're at it?

Ha-ha! But seriously.
I ain't going back.

Oh! Okay, fine, but be gentle.

Well, this has been a gas!

[farts, laughs]

Hurry, Haiku!

Before he makes
another tasteless joke.

Close the portal.
Lock and key.

Buzz has returned.
The spell is complete.

If we hurry, we may make it
to Casket Con before it's over!

All:
Huh?

We're too late.

Why must life be so cruel?

[gasps] It's the Model C!

Can we watch it hover
around the parking lot?

Yeah, can Boris have a selfie?

Please, let us test it out.

[clears throat]

♪ ♪

all: [inhale]
Mmm, new casket smell.

Boris has found his smile.

[laughs]
I like it.

[all cheer]

♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪