05x09 - School of Shock/Electshunned

[bunniefuu]

This program is rated G

and is suitable for
general audiences.

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach
the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive! ♪

♪ In the Loud House!
In the Loud House! ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove,
it's how we show our love! ♪

♪ In the Loud House!
In the Loud House! ♪

♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ (Wouldn't trade
it for the world!) ♪

♪ Loud! ♪

♪ House! ♪

♪ Loud! ♪

♪ Loud House! ♪

Poo-Poo!

[epic ♪

Alright, class.

Let's have some fun
with numbers.

If three giraffes
are having dinner together

and one lion
comes to join them.

How many animal friends
are there now?

Darcy?

Um, OK. Three plus... um...

Don't engage, Darcy.

You know that lions
don't dine with giraffes.

They dine on giraffes.

Tearing muscle from bone
in a frenzy.

A mechanism of
Darwinian natural selection.

Well, Lisa,
even though you're right,

let's tone it down for
your fellow first graders.

What's a frenzy?

OK, I think
I know what we need to do.

Let's shake our sillies out.

Come on. Let me see you
shake those sillies out.

-[children giggling]
-There you go!

[whimsical music]

[Lisa groaning]

Now, one of the most amazing
things about these cactuses--

-[Lisa] Cacti.
-Both are technically correct.

These plants can live
to be over years old.

-[kids] Whoa!
-Fun fact:

By that time we'll be nothing
but soil nutrients.

Lisa! Will you please
just let me teach?

Hey! Who wants juice?

-[kids] Me! Me! Juice!

Huh. That one went
a little long Miss Allegra.

No wonder you didn't make
the faculty softball team.

[squirting]

[Miss Allegra grumbling]

[Miss Allegra] Alright, who's
ready to read Run Dino Run?

[overlapping excitement]

OK, "Dolly the Dino
can dance."

[Lisa scoffing]

[Lisa] Impossible.

"And Dolly the Dino
wears pants."

[Lisa] Absurd!

"Her pants are made of ants."

[Lisa] I'm sorry.
I just can't.

Lisa! I am done
with your interruptions.

I prefer to think of them
as corrections.

And frankly
you should be thanking me.

Your overly simplistic
and juvenile teaching methods

are completely ineffective.

Someone has to give these
children a fighting chance

to actually learn something.

OK, Lisa,
if you're so dissatisfied

with the way I do things,
maybe you ought

to teach the class
for the rest of the day.

Now, that's the first good idea
you've had all semester.

[Miss Allegra screaming]

Louds, Louds, Louds!

They just keep coming!

And I thought Lola
would be the worst one! Ha!

Great news, children!

For the rest of the day
I will be your guest professor.

to make up for Miss Allegra's
woeful inadequacies

we are going to cram
more learning

into one afternoon
than you've had all year.

Yes, Mickey?

What question is burning

in that young,
inquisitive mind of yours?

Can I go pee?

Yeesh. Proceed.

And that is how
string theory works.

Eh, give or take a little bit
of the space-time continuum.

Can we have a snack break?

And waste
precious learning time?

I think not.

Luckily I've prepared for this.

Each one of these
bad boys is packed

with enough protein to keep you
focused and learning all day.

Plus I read that children
love things in nugget form.

Pass them around,
won't you Darcy?

Ugh.

Enjoy!

[children groaning]

[child]
I chipped a tooth on mine.

And so during
oxygenic photosynthesis,

light energy transfers
electrons from water

to carbon dioxide
to produce carbohydrates.

Any questions?

-Yes, Darcy?
-I'm thirsty.

Can I have a juice box?

-Yeah. I'm thirsty!
-Juice!

Eeesh, needy bunch. Very well.

But instead of that
prepackaged corporate swill,

what say we partake
of nature's juice box?

Fun fact:
the saguaro cactus stores

six months worth of water
in each paddle. Observe.

[slurping]

Ah. Refreshing. Who wants one?

[kids yelping in pain]

My spleen.

And now everyone's favourite,
"Run, Dino, Run!"

[kids cheering]

And to that I say viszlát.

Which is Hungarian
for sayonara,

which is Japanese for goodbye.

Now, for some accurate and
authentic prehistoric studies.

Tyrannosaurus Rex is a genus

of coelurosaurian theropod
dinosaur.

It lived . million years ago

in the Cretaceous Period.

-[child] Lisa?
-What is it, David?

Did it's roar sound like this?

[loud squeaking fart]

[kids giggling]

There's nothing funny
about flatulence.

Your colon is simply reacting
to the protein nuggets.

[several loud farts]

Children, settle.
Settle, I say!

[farting & giggling]

I shall tolerate
no further malfeasance!

[tense music]

Dare Bot . .

♪

Dare Bot . ,
ready to adjust attitudes.

My associate Dare Bot here
has been programmed

with special
disciplinary functions.

Cool robot!

Silence, child!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Switched from obliterate
to gentle chiding.

-Should be OK now.
-Darcy, sweetie,

please raise your hand
before you speak.

Much better. Now, let's load
those brains up with knowledge.

And that is how verbs interact
with adjectives in Mandarin.

Up next, Cantonese.

[horn blaring]

"When he bestrides
the lazy pacing clouds

and sails upon
the bosom of the air."

"Oh Romeo, Romeo.
Wherefore art thou Romeo?"

[ominously] Clap,
or be destroyed children!

[ominous whirring]

[polite applause]

Thank you. Thank you.

How unexpected.

And that is why fecal parasites
should not be kept as pets.

-Learned that one the hard way.
-Is Miss All--

[clunking]

-Yes, Darcy?
-Is Miss Allegra

-ever coming back?
-[Lisa] Miss Allegra?

Don't you see how much more
I've taught you in her absence?

Hey, we should prove it with
a pop quiz before lunch!

[sobbing]

Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail.

Ugh, they've learned
absolutely nothing.

Here I am,
a fountain of knowledge,

yet no one is drinking from me.

Ah... Gads.

How do I get through
to these booger eaters?

[slurping]

"Teachers Bring Learning
to Life..."

Oh, Miss Allegra,
even your mug is predictable.

Wait a minute. Bringing
learning to life... That's it!

Let's go, Dare Bot.

Dare Bot . .

Top me off, Agnes.

[ominously] If this is decaf,
I will destroy you.

[bell chiming]

Welcome back, students.
Please take your seats.

I forgive you for your, um,

shall we say
less than stellar test scores.

But, um, all
of that is about to change.

I know how much
you love Run, Dino, Run!,

but instead of just telling you
about Dolly the dinosaur

I am going to show you!

Dare Bot, dinosaur DNA

Wi-Fi particle transfer
if you please.

Dare Bot . activated.

[ominous industrious music]

[beeping & whirring]

♪

[shrill whining]

Oh! It's working!
It's working!

♪

[electricity crackling]

♪

[growling]

Students, say hello
to the real Dolly the--

[roaring]

[child] Dinosaur!

[kids screaming]

[roaring]

Dolly, no. Bad girl. Dolly!

Oh boy! Look alive, Dare Bot!

[whirring]

[kids screaming]

[growling]

Children!
Stop with the hysteria.

You're missing a teachable
moment about apex theropods.

-[children screaming]
-[Dolly roaring]

Dare Bot, I need
your assistance, post haste.

Dare Bot . .

-[kids screaming]
-[Dolly roaring]

Stop that dinosaur!

Halt, creature!

And for gosh sake,
mind the Craft Faire!

Dare Bot will terminate you.

[roaring]

[whirring]

[crunching]

[roaring]

[metallic clanging]

Dare Bot, I coded you
to be tougher than this.

[slurring] Dare Bot, . ...

Great. That's going
to take me hours to fix.

[Dolly roaring]

[Dolly snarling]

Goodbye, Dolly!

Ah! Dolly,
you don't want to do this.

I taste like
protein nugget and fear.

Run for the hills!

[tense music]

[Dolly roaring]

[Lisa screaming]

Oh! Uh!
Trapped like a lab rat!

[Dolly snarling]

No, no, no!
It can't end like this!

[Dolly growling]

Hey! Get away from her,
you beast!

Miss Allegra!

[Dolly roaring]

[ominous music]

Who's a cranky-saurus?

Have a juice box.

[whimsical music]

[quiet slurping]

[loud belching]

[loud roaring]

Oh... Do you need to shake
your sillies out?

[upbeat ukulele music]

Come on.

♪

Shake those sillies out!

Shake those sillies out!

And what do we do
with our litter?

♪

That'll work too.

[Dolly yawning]

[Dolly whimpering]

[Dolly snoring]

♪

Albert H. Einstein,
that was pure genius.

But how did
you know I needed help?

I wired my classroom with

state-of-the-art
surveillance technology.

Also the children screaming.

Miss Allegra, I owe you
an apology.

I was wrong.

I see now that your teaching
methods are effective.

It's not just about
having the knowledge.

It's about connecting
with your students.

Thank you, Lisa.

How about we get back to class?

You're the boss.

[Miss Allegra] So, now how many
animal friends are there?

[Dolly snarls four times]

That's right Dolly, four.

Next time, raise your hand
before you answer.

[Dolly roaring]

Protein nugget?

[upbeat music]

♪

OK, "A file
about zoning laws."

Another one
that goes under "A!"

♪

-Phew.
-Great work, Leni.

How are you liking
the internship so far?

OMGosh, Mayor Davis,
it's the best!

I learned how to fix a copier.

Dang it.
The copier needs toner.

Ooh, I just got
a great new toner.

♪

And I got a lipstick
you'll love.

Leni, you are a hoot.

When my campaign manager
arrives send him in.

It's time to talk re-election.

-We've got a race to win.
-If you're going to run a race

my sister Lynn says you
should always do some warm-ups.

-Leni, I don't think--
-Come on, Mayor,

get that blood pumping.
Three. Four. Five.

Alright, first things first.
If anyone runs against you

we dig up
some Grade-A dirt on them.

It worked like a charm
the last election.

Then we stage
a ton of photo ops

with you playing your keyboard.

Voters say sound effects are,
quote, "Fun and relatable."

Also, kissing babies
is so last election.

People are really into
their pets now.

I figured you could get in
some smooch practice

on my stepdaughter's
Gila monster.

[Mayor Davis sighing]

[knocking]

Mayor Davis?
Sorry to interrupt.

[campaign manager groaning]

I'd love to help your campaign.

I've got lots of great ideas,

like adding flavours
to the drinking fountains.

People would hydrate
if they could choose kiwi

or pomelo water. Or new vests
for crossing guards.

I'm working on a concept.

Ha. Those ideas are terrible.

[Leni gasping]

Now, now, Vic.

Leni, I like your enthusiasm

but running for mayor
takes more than quirky ideas.

[Leni groaning]

[Vic]
Pucker up, Mayor Davis.

[Mayor David groaning]

[chewing sounds]

[Lynn Sr.] Not bad
if I do say so myself.

[chewing sounds]

My ideas are not terrible!

Sweetie,
what are you talking about?

I pitched ideas for the
mayor's re-election campaign

and her meanie
campaign manager hated them.

I have good ideas, you know,
like new comfy cushions

for all those old,
lumpy school bus seats.

Now that you mention it,

my butt has been numb
since kindergarten.

Or keeping stores
open past nine.

Has anyone heard
of night people?

-Preach.
-Or longer green lights

so you can get to the movies
in time for the previews.

Wow, sweetie.
Those are great ideas.

If you were running for mayor
I'd vote for you

-if I could vote.
-Me too.

-Me three.
-[gasping]

Ooh, love that idea.

[whimsical music]

[Lana grunting]

[banging]

Lower, Lincoln.

Now higher.

Ugh! Lower!

Whoa! Oof!

OK, now it's too low.

♪

"Leni Loud
isn't full of hot air."

Seriously? As campaign manager

I absolutely did not approve
whoopee cushions.

Leni never said
you were her campaign manager.

She didn't say it, Luan,
but I'm the obvious choice.

Leni and I have the same
sophisticated vision.

Ooh, farts. So fun.

Hahaha.

OK guys. I'll catch you
after the rally.

Wish me luck!

[warm music]

Why pay when samples are free?

That's old Vic's motto.

I'm Leni Loud and I would
like to be your new mayor.

Leni's running for mayor?

Ha! Well, here's to
an easy victory for you.

If you vote for me
I'll have a no tax shopping day

here at the mall. You have
a right to buy a poncho

and have money left
for a calzone.

[cheering]

Wait, are people actually
listening to her?

Relax.
The Vic-ster's got this. Huh?

[engine rumbling]

Voters, have you noticed

there's no cell service
at Tall Timbers Park?

When I snap
a cute nature selfie,

I want to post it now!

Mother Nature
deserves five bars.

[cheering]

Is this what you want?

[talking like a baby]
An inexperienced baby

for mayor?

[normally]
Vote for Davis, a grown adult.

Oh, no, he did not!

Hold on, sweetie!

[tense music]

[Vic laughing evilly]

What?

♪

Oh, you want to play?
Let's play.

You messed with
the wrong family, buddy.

♪

[Loud family screaming]

[water splashing]

[Rita] Oops. Heh.

[Vic laughing evilly]

Leni, as your campaign manager
I am telling you,

we have to hit back!

Lola, that's not my campaign.

Mayor Davis
may play icky, but I don't.

[Lola groaning]

Let's go. We've got
a big debate tomorrow.

I've got to deal with
this mascara situation.

And my stance
on economic stimulus

And as mayor I'd make
opening more nail salons

my number one priority.

[Mayor Davis laughing]

I wish there was a mani-cure

for all my opponent's
wacky ideas.

[crowd laughing]

She's dying up there.

In a bad way.

Voters, family values
matter to all of us.

So, the kind of family a mayor
comes from is important.

Frankly, the Louds
are out of control.

Huh?

They were banned
from every pool in town.

They created a zombie scare.

And have you ever eaten in
a restaurant with them?

Trust me,
it's not pretty.

[Lola growling]

Are those
the family values we want?

I certainly don't. Vote Davis.

[upbeat electronic sounds
and beats]

[crowd cheering]

Nobody talks about
my family like that.

We are so hitting back.

[crickets]

[mysterious music]

OK, team. We need something
super juicy on Mayor Davis.

Now, let's get digging.

On it. Wait, where's the dirt?

It's just an expression, Lans.

-Aw, man!
-[clanging]

Shh. You have to be quiet
or we're gonna get--

[upbeat electronic sounds
and beats]

Lynn, turn that off!

-[Leni] Hm...
-[Lola cackling evilly]

It's time.
Royal Woods knew the truth.

Mayor Davis bought her keyboard

at Toots N Tunes,
which is in Hazeltucky.

[reporters gasping]

Do you want a mayor
who doesn't bother

to shop in her own town? Ick.

I certainly don't.

I'm Leni Loud
and I shop local. A lot.

Don't worry, Mayor Davis.

Old Vic-O's
gonna take care of this.

Society must modernize
and that's why

I support a new touchscreen
pudding machine.

[excited cheering]

Yada, yada.
Enough with the sweet talk.

When you going to fling
some more mud at Davis?

Mama needs drama.

Sorry, no more playing dirty

from Leni Loud's
campaign. Swearsies.

[woman blowing raspberry]

Leni, look what Mayor Davis
is mailing out to people!

[Leni gasping]

Oof. That is a tragic
amount of denim.

OK. Now it's personal.

[Lincoln] Everybody loves
cat videos, right?

I certainly don't.
I wish-- they-- were-- banned.

Never came back.

[Lincoln] Do you want a cat
hater in the mayor's office?

I certainly don't.
Vote Leni Loud.

This ad was paid for by
the First Bank of Lola.

Wow, Lincoln.

That ad was really harsh
and totally untrue.

-Love it!
-[man] Leni Loud failed

her driving test times.

How do you know she won't
drive over your rights,

or family?

[Leni gasping & growling]

Leni Loud
supports mandated makeovers!

Did you know
that Mayor Davis wears

open-toed shoes in the winter?

She's not a natural blond.

She hates Flippy's.
OMGosh!

[both growling]

[crowd] OMGosh! OMGosh!

Leni, you're in a deadlock
with Mayor Davis.

Statistically speaking,
you could win this race.

Now listen up.

This is your last speech
before the election.

I need for you to go out there
and throw that final punch!

Take Mayor Davis down! Got it?!

[crowd] OMGosh! OMGosh!

OMGosh is right!

Like, can we talk for a sec
about how Mayor Davis is--

[woman]
Really bad at mayor-ing!

[crowd angrily agreeing]

Uh, no, I was gonna say--

[woman] A loud sneezer
we should shun forever?

[crowd angrily agreeing]

[crowd] Shun her forever!
Shun her forever!

How great is this going, huh?

Girl,
you got it in the bag now!

This doesn't feel right.
It feels icky.

Icky is good.

Icky wins the race.

[crowd]
She's the worst!

She's the worst!

No, stop! Mayor Davis
is not the worst!

What?!

She may have
run a nasty campaign

but Mayor Davis is
a really nice person

and she's done a lot of
awesome things for Royal Woods,

like cleaning up
Tall Timbers Park

and founding
the annual Cherry Pit Spit.

You all love spitting pits.
Remember?

[crowd mumbling in agreement]

If anyone is the worst,
it's me.

I said a bunch
of mean and untrue stuff.

And I'm sorry.

It's not who I am.
From now on my campaign

is just about fun new ideas,

whether I win or lose.
Swearsies.

[crowd mumbling disappointedly]

Boo! You're weak, Loud!

[woman]
And, a big congratulations

to Theresa Davis, who has won
a very close race

to be re-elected mayor
of Royal Woods.

[Leni sighing]

Hey, hon, your mom and I
just came to say

we're so
ding-dang proud of you!

But I lost the election.

Sure, but you realized
staying true to yourself

was more important
than winning.

In that case,
I'm proud of me, too.

OK, Mayor.

Here are the scissors
for the ribbon cutting.

I painted them pink
to coordinate with your outfit.

Leni, you are the best intern,
and a formidable opponent.

The way you ran
your campaign, it inspired me.

I fired Vic.

No more dirty tricks
for this gal.

-Swearsies?
-Swearsies.

[Mayor Davis chuckling]

Folks, I'm proud to announce
Royal Woods Mall's very first

no tax shopping day.

But I can't take credit
for this fun new idea.

Leni, would you do the honours?

[crowd cheering]

Ugh, should have
just run for mayor myself.

You'd vote for old tricky Vic,
wouldn't you buddy?

[Vic screaming]

♪ May sound bad,
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

♪ (Loud House) ♪

♪ Duck, and dodge,
and push, and shove ♪

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

♪ (Loud House) ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee,
never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

[whimsical music]