02x15 - The Martha Show: Parts One & Two

[bunniefuu]

MAN:
* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre... *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks

* Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks...

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... *

Hi, there.

* She's got the voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... *

* Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates *

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates
and... *

(panting)

* Hyperventilates!

* Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. *

Hi!

Today you're going to hear words
about different kinds of shows.

Like "drama" and
"comedy"...

"Genre"
and "depiction."

Maybe.

We're still waiting
for the script.

We're here!
We made it!

Hot off the presses.

We worked all night writing
today's script.

It might get a little strange
at the end.

Yeah, we were getting
a little sleepy.

(snoring)

DIRECTOR:
Places, everyone!

Talk about
cutting it close.

(wind gusting)

HELEN:
It's like the whole town
is going to blow away.

I love it.

I can smell smells
from two towns away.

Oooh, burgers.

Hey, I've been looking for this.

It's been on our roof
for like a year.

Martha, you ready?

Go long!

Oh no...

Uh-oh.

You get it.

You threw it.

But it's Mrs. Demson's house!

She'll yell at me.

Maybe she's not home.

(stairs creak)

(straining)

(blowing)

(Martha clears her throat)

(gasps)

Aha!

I thought I heard blowing.

Mrs. Demson!

Anything that falls on my roof
stays on my roof.

And don't think you're ever
getting it back, either.

I'm always home
and I'm always watching.

Now what?

I don't know.

There you are!
(all gasp)

Laslo Huckey!

I've been looking all over
for you.

I need someone to host
a TV show.

Can we go someplace less windy?

See, I lost my job
at the Animal Network.

I'm so sorry
to hear that.

I had to...

I had to take any job I could.

Now I'm in children's TV.

Ah!

It's okay.

I'm sure you'll be back working
with animals soon.

Exactly why I called you!

You see, we've been testing
a new kids' program,

but it still needs something,

and I think that
something is you.

Me?

Yes.

Research proves that viewers
love talking dogs.

Catch with Cubb Bubbman,
Bluey the Big Blue Beagle,

Fishbone--

this is just a list of TV shows
with talking dogs in them.

And that's good enough for me.

So, what do you say, Martha?

Would you like to have
your own kids' show?

Can my friends be in it?

Naturally!
The more the merrier!

Come down to the
studio tomorrow.

Can't wait to hear your ideas.

(sighs)

Wow! Our very own TV show!

What a responsibility!

The first thing
we need to do

is decide what genre
we want our program to be.

Whoa, hang on, before we get
all complicated,

why don't we just decide what
kind of show we want to do?

That's what "genre" means.

Genre means the kind of TV show,
music, or book something is.

You know, like the way music can
be rap or classical or country.

Or a book can be a mystery
or a romance or a joke book.

Those are all different genres.

What kinds of TV
genres are there?

Well, there are dramas.

A drama is a show
that is serious.

Dramas can be exciting
or scary or sad.

But the main thing is
they aren't funny.

Dramas are shows like police
shows or medical dramas.

A medical drama?

Like about doctors
and hospitals?

Yeah, that's what
medical drama...

Doctor Dog!

I love that!

It's a medical drama
about a dog

who works in a hospital.

And people are all like,

"Get that dog out of this
medical hospital!"

But Martha's like,

"Don't worry,
I'm a doctor.

If I bite you,
I can fix it right up."

Why isn't that
on TV already?

I'm not sure I want to be
a doctor.

They're stuck inside all day.

Well, besides drama,
what other genres are there?

Comedies.

A comedy would be
the easiest for me.

I'm funny.

Aren't I?

Hey, that's an idea.

Let's do a show
about us.

Us?

Sure, can't you see it?

Our g*ng!

Our own TV show!

What a responsibility!

The first thing
we need to do

is decide what genre
we want our program to be.

ALICE:
Wait, that's your idea?

Just us doing exactly
what we do?

Yeah! I'm a talking dog,

and Helen is Helen,
and you are you.

Who plays me?

You!

Yes! I got the part!

All right! High five!

And you think people would want
to watch that?

Well, why wouldn't
they watch it?

I think it has to be
more exciting.

Like, what if
Martha were big?

Big?

Giant!

Hi, everyone!

I'm big.

Big dog right here.

Oh, yeah.

ALICE:
And we could all be her family.

KIDS:
Hi, Martha!

It's fun having a dog
who's really big.

Who's a big dog? Who is?

Me. I'm huge.

Notice any cats around?

Nope. Why? Big dog.

Who gets to feed Martha today?

I do!

Who'll brush her?

I will!

I'll give her a bath.

Who wants to walk her?

Don't look at me.
I did it yesterday.

Not me. It's exhausting.

She takes really big steps.

(kids arguing)

TRUMAN:
Wait.

Wait, hang on.

Showing kids arguing
is teaching bad behavior.

Programs for children
should be educational.

Educational?

Educational shows are shows
that teach you something.

Like math or social skills--
like how not to argue.

That doesn't sound
very exciting.

Yeah?

Well, how does superheroes
in capes sound?

Now you're talking!

I don't get it.

If we can fly,
why are we driving?

Saves wear and tear
on the capes.

Excuse me,
do you have the time?

Certainly, citizen.

Computer,
what time is it?

COMPUTER:
Determining location.

It'll just be a second.

COMPUTER:
Current time zone is Greenwich
Mean Time minus five hours.

What time is it
in Greenwich?

COMPUTER:
: .

?

TRUMAN:
Many countries in Europe
use a -hour clock.

So, for instance, instead of
: p.m., they say it's : .

Wow. So, : is...

: in the afternoon.

MARTHA:
So : p.m. minus five hours...

: in the morning.

That was educational.

: a.m.

I wonder if it's possible
for something to be

too educational.

Hey, is "secret agent show"
a genre?

Sure. What were you thinking of?

It's a show called
Masters of Disguise.

The bad guys never guess that
a dog could be a secret agent

listening in on
everything they say.

Sounds great.

What would you play?

The dog.

Oh.

But you'd have
your own

amazing disguises.

I can't believe
those guys saw through

my excellent dog disguise.

I wonder why that clock
is counting down.

Hope Martha finds me soon.

TD:
Meanwhile, back in
the crooks' hideout,

Martha is in a disguise
of her own.

That pesky kid will be
on his way to Venus in...

T-minus and counting.

But what I want to know is:

how did he find out
about our operation?

I get the feeling there's
a spy in this room.

(whispers)
Yikes!

They're onto me!

How am I ever going to get out
of here and save TD?

Well, at least we got
rid of that pesky kid.

Now, let's go eat.

(sighs)
At last.

As soon as they're gone,
I'll race to save TD.

Why don't we stay here
and eat in tonight?

Good idea-- I can make
my famous cobb salad.

(whines)

Then we could play cards
without leaving the table.

(deep voice):
Nah, you know what?

Let's go eat in a restaurant.

Yeah, I agree.

All right, all right,
let's go.

(sighs in relief)

Hurry, hurry.

I'm coming, TD, I'm coming!

(grunting)

Why couldn't I just have been
in a folding chair?

Hold on, wait.

You're going at this all wrong.

Carolina?

I heard you're doing
a children's show,

and I thought you
could use my help.

And now I can see you
desperately need it.

What's the matter
with that idea?

Nothing, if you totally want
to fail.

Look, kids' entertainment
is a big, big business.

The whole point of it
is to sell merchandise.

What's merchandise?

(sighs)
Mercancía.

"Merchandise" means things
people buy and sell.

Clothes, backpacks,
pencils, stickers--

those are all merchandise.

Oh, so what kind of merchandise
do kids need?

I need socks.

It's not about what kids need.

It's what we make them want:
toys!

It's My Fluffy Puppy!

Come on, climb on my back!

Here we go!

CAROLINA:
Coming up, more adventures
with My Fluffy Puppy!

But first, this...

Look what I got!

My Fluffy Puppy!

She's so soft and huggable!

CAROLINA:
And she even knows your name!

MARTHA (recording):
I love you, Helen.

I want one, too!

CAROLINA:
My Fluffy Puppy is the most
wonderful friend

you'll ever have
in your entire life.

And best of all, the more
merchandise you buy,

the more she loves you!

I love my new accessories.

What will you get me tomorrow,
Helen?

CAROLINA:
My Fluffy Puppy.

Batteries not included.
Head and legs sold
separately.

Ew!

Well, at least I have
a lot of different ideas

to tell Mr. Huckey tomorrow.

Ah, come in, Martha.

Right this way.

MARTHA:
Slappy!

(barking)

Slappy and I can't wait
to hear your ideas, Martha.

My friends and I came up
with a lot of ideas,

but we really couldn't
decide on one.

No problem.

We'll just run them
by your co-star.

Co-star?

Yes, your co-star is the person

starring in the show with you.

She should be here any minute.

The two of you together
will be magic.

I don't mean your-uncle-pulls-
a-coin-out-of-your-ear magic,

I mean... what do I mean?

Ah, here she is now.

Your co-star!

Uh-oh.

Well, where's this secret w*apon
that's going to save my show?

You're looking at her.

Your new co-star.

You?!

You?

That's the kind of magic
I mean.

And look!

There's a coin
in your ear, too!

ALICE:
To be continued.

Hey, check out this song.

* I went to see a play

* The scenery was gray

* It starred a prince
in tights *

* He was so sad
and got in fights *

* My friends all stared at me

* As I cried and cried

* A tissue for my nose

* No one could provide

* You know it's drama
if the show's not funny *

* Drama and your nose
gets runny *

* It's drama
if you get real tense *

* Drama when you're caught up
in suspense *

* Drama *

* Real life or TV

* Drama *

* It's heavy stuff, seriously

* Drama... *

* Isn't good between friends

* Drama *

* Cut! Wrap!
We're at the end. *

Ooh, I'm getting tingles just
seeing the two of you together!

Am I supposed to perform
with a dog?

Mrs. Demson?!

What a duo!

Like bread and butter,
peanut butter and Germany.

I'm supposed to perform
with a dog?

Peanut butter and Germany?

Nothing can make me
perform with a dog.

We'll pay you more money.

Welcome aboard,
partner.

Let me show you
the pilot we did.

Pilot?

Like a person
who flies a plane?

Yes, a pilot is a person
who flies a plane,

but a pilot is also what we call
the first show

of a new program.

We use it to test out
what the show will be like.

Let's take a look
at Mrs. Demson's pilot.

(cheerful piano music playing)

* Hello, hello

* And welcome, everyone

* If you're nice and quiet,
we're sure to have some fun *

* So wipe your feet
and take a seat *

(gruffly):
* I won't repeat

* Keep your seat, hush...

* We'll have some fun.

Hello, viewers.

Look what I found in my yard.

A soccer ball.

You know what that means.

Finders keepers!

I thought up a terrific game
on the way here today.

Would you like to play?

It's called hide-and-go-seek.

I'll close my eyes
and you run and hide.

Ready, set, go!

Run and hide.

Run and hide.

Hide really, really well.

You stay there
till I come and find you.

MAN ON TV:
Oh, Rebecca,

I never knew
you felt this way.

If you can hear this,
you're too close.

Hide better.

That's it?

Pretty much.

Mrs. Demson sat in the chair
for the rest of the hour

watching TV.

I don't see how
it can get any better.

Well, we tested it
on children

to find out what they thought
of the program.

Why on earth
would you do that?

Well, it is a show
for children, Mrs. Demson.

What did they think?

(all crying)

We're not sure.

We're still waiting
for them to stop crying.

Children need to learn
not to cry.

Ooh, great idea
for our next episode!

Mrs. Demson?

They want that lady
on a children's show?

What happened?
Godzilla was busy?

I guess Mr. Huckey thinks
we'd make a good duo.

Yeah, like toothpaste
and orange juice.

That kind of duo.

There go all our great ideas.

I don't think she wants
to do a show

about driving around
wearing capes.

Or about disguises.

I don't think it would
be much fun for you,

being part of a duo with her.

Maybe we should just
forget the whole thing.

But Mr. Huckey asked me to help.

And Mrs. Demson isn't
a bad person.

We've had our ups and downs,
but we can't just give up.

Martha's right.

Maybe if we put
our heads together

we could think of something
we can do with her.

Sure.

We could combine
all the good ideas.

It could be adventurous
and educational.

Like a superhero who won't
give your ball back.

We just need to be
a little imaginative.

Right.

And "imaginative" means

you can think up

new and cool ideas.

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hmm...

Maybe...

No, too imaginative.

What about a show where Mrs.
Demson is a giant lizard who...

(lizard bellowing)

Never mind.

Too scary.

I've got it!

KIDS:
What?

It's great.

It's sort of about all of us,

and it's educational
like Truman's idea,

and it has adventures like TD's.

So what's the idea?

Tell us!

Well, it would start out
like a normal day, see.

The capital of Lithuania
is Vilnius.

Thank you, TD.

(buzzer beeping)

TD?

(buzzer beeping)

(buzzer beeping)

(Martha laughing,
others barking)

Sorry, g*ng. Gotta go.
(buzzer beeping)

(engine rumbles)

MARTHA:
When trouble strikes,

four ordinary kids and
one extraordinary dog

shed their everyday guises
to become... the Bookbots!

We're here, Chief.

You're just in time.

Trouble?

MRS. DEMSON:
I'm afraid so.

Someone has been changing
the library books.

CAROLINA:
Looks like our friend
Dr. O'Mayhem

is up to his old tricks again.

O'Mayhem.

Will that guy never quit?

Which book did he mess with
today, Mrs. Noodlenoddy?

Moby d*ck.

Melville's classic tale
of adventure on the high seas,

featuring the hunt for
the great white whale?

"Melville's classic tale
of adventure?"

How come TD's the smart one?

If Mrs. Demson is nice,
why can't I be smart?

Be imaginative.

Plus I really liked that book.

(clears throat)

As I was saying...

Only the whale is missing.

TRUMAN:
Moby d*ck without the whale?

What's left?

A pleasant ocean voyage
and everyone lives.

Sounds like a job for...

ALL:
Bookbots!

We've got to find
that white whale.

And put it back in the book.

Where it belongs.

Using the Textinator.

You'll need disguises.

ALL:
Pirate!

You can't all be pirates.

Okay, you can all pirates.

Ay! Argh! Ahoy! Yo-ho-ho!
Jim Hawkins!

MARTHA:
So, depicting an ordinary band
of pirates,

our g*ng of heroes goes out
in search of the white whale.

Meanwhile, in the town hall,

the mayor is scheduled
to give an award.

What's taking
the mayor so long?

Um, she must be working
on her speech.

MARTHA:
But the mayor wasn't working
on her speech.

Your honor?

(screams)

Ay! Argh! Ahoy! Yo-ho-ho!
Young Jim!

Say, has that building
always had a tail?

Avast!

It be Moby d*ck!

Lower away!

Ahoy!

Yo-ho-ho! Jim Hawkins!

Argh! Found you at last!

HELEN:
Moby d*ck!

Easy, buddy.

We have to get him
back in the book!

Wait!

Where's the mayor?

MAYOR (muffled):
I'm in the whale!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have an announcement.

It seems the mayor has vanished,

eaten by a whale or something.

(everyone gasps)

So we need a new mayor,
and I, Dr. O'Mayhem,

hereby volunteer.

(laughs evilly)

We have to get that whale back
in the book where he belongs.

Uh, don't we have to get
the mayor out of the whale

before we get the whale
into the book?

Why don't we just put
the whale in the book first?

Then the mayor would be
in Moby d*ck in Moby
d*ck.

What I just said
actually made sense.

Just put them in the book.

The mayor might like it there.

It's a good book.

(machine humming)

(whale bellows)

Oh, no!

The Textinator!

According to the laws,
when a mayor gets enwhaled,

I can declare myself mayor.

Ha-ha!

(rumbling)

What's happening?!

(playing "Nearer, my God,
to Thee")

There it is!

The Textinator.

(beeps)

She did it!

Martha did it!

(all cheer
and make pirate noises)

I would have gotten
away with it, too,

if it weren't for those...

Bookbots!

And then the police
take Dr. O'Mayhem away

and lock him up.

The end.

Wow! What a show.

It's got the three Es.

Educational, exciting
and expensive.

It's also full
of suspense.

Suspense?

Yes. Suspense.

Suspense is when...

Oops.

Aha!

Found it!

Now, where was I?

Suspense.

Right.

Suspense is when it's really
exciting and tense

because you're waiting to find
out how it will turn out.

Like when you lose a pen and you
don't know if you'll find it?

Exactly!

And your show is full
of suspense.

Will they get the mayor
out of the whale?

Will O'Mayhem
take over the town?

Ooh, I'm feeling the suspense
all over again.

I think viewers will love it.

What do you think, Mrs. Demson?

Ooh! Very imaginative.

It could be great,
with just a few changes.

Uh, changes?

Mrs. Demson really wants us
all to be in the TV show?

Yep. She said we should
go to the studio
in the morning.

(all cheer)

We're all going to be
on a cool TV show!

Yeah.

(all make pirate noises)

MRS. DEMSON:
* Life's an adventure
and you must face it *

* If you are ignorant
you will only lose *

* Bad guys are smart guys
and hope you won't be *

* Exciting
adventure time fun! *

Welcome, viewers,

to the Bookbots Thrilling House
of Fun and Excitement

Happy Time
Bang Zoom Format Whoopee.

Let's get ready to save
the world.

You, Treehouse Boy,

what temperature does water
freeze at?

I'm not Treehouse Boy.

I'm Bookbot-T,
Keeper of the Textinator.

(makes buzzer sound)

Wrong. The answer is
degrees Fahrenheit.

Next: what colors make purple?

You: Glasses.

This is like a nightmare
I once had,

except I wasn't in a boat,
I was in my underwear.

If you don't know,
let someone else answer.

I know the answer.

Can dogs speak?

The answer is no.

This is a good pilot.

I never realized...

(whispering):
Guys, can I talk to you?

Am I the only one
who isn't having any fun?

KIDS:
No, not really.

Is being on TV as important as
being kids and a dog having fun?

KIDS:
No.

There's one change
I would make.

(door squeaks)

They're gone.

Exactly what I was
about to suggest.

I can't believe Mrs. Demson's
program has so many viewers.

It really is a success.

One good thing is that
we don't have to watch it.

The other good thing is that
she's not home all day anymore

and we can get our stuff
off her roof.

Bet you never thought
you'd see that again.

Whose plane was this?

That one's mine!

(kids cheering and laughing)

One way to depict something
is to draw it.

Here's my depiction of Martha.

See, I depicted her
chasing a ball.

Mrs. Demson isn't
really crabby.

Hello, dear.

She just depicts
a crabby person on the show.

Now I'll do my depiction
of an elephant.

(trumpeting)

Some depiction, eh?

Here's the drawing
I promised.

That's a great depiction
of Martha, isn't it?

When you depict something
or someone,

it means you show them in
drawing, painting, writing

or even by acting it out.

Martha? What are you doing?
(crashing)

Um, uh, this is my
depiction of a bad dog?

(giggles)

(sighs)

It's a very
accurate depiction.

Did you get all the words
about style and genre?

Here are some
of them again.

"Genre" means the kind
of TV show, music

or book something is.

A drama is a show
that is serious.

That concludes our show.

What does "concludes"
mean?

Forget it.

We're off the clock.

The episode has reached
its culmination.

What's episode?

What's culmination?

There are still things
I want to know!

* Who's that dog? *

* Who's
that dog? *

* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *

That dog is Decota.

He's a puppy.

My name is Belle.

I got Decota at MSPCA Angell.

Sometimes people can't
properly care for a pet,

so they bring it
to the adoption center,

and they help find the pet
a new home.

This is what I found.

WOMAN:
Do you want to take
that dog for a walk?

Yeah.

WOMAN:
So you're all set.

You can bring Decota home.

BELLE:
I like taking care of him.

Puppies need exercise.

The best thing about
having a puppy is

that you have someone
to play with.

* He's that dog... *
* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *