03x02 - The Dog Who Came to Dinner/Martha Calling

[bunniefuu]

* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre... *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks, yeah,
she speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks
and speaks... *

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. *

Hi, there!

* She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two!

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks

* And speaks and speaks
and... *

* Communicates, enumerates

* Elucidates, exaggerates

* Indicates and explicates,
bloviates and overtakes and... *

(panting)

* ...hyperventilates!

* Martha, to reiterate...

Martha speaks!
* Martha speaks.

Oh, hello.

Welcome to Club Carolina.

Mind if we
join you?

Sorry. This area is
for club members only.

Today's episodes are
all about visiting,

so there are words
like "guest" and "visitor"

and "permitted"
and "welcome."

There are also words
about not being welcome--

words like "restricted"
and "forbidden."

Hey, is that ice cream?

And it's for
our club members only!

Hmm. Enjoy the show.

Hey! Hey!
Who is it?

Who are you
talking to?

Sure, Mrs. Clusky.

It's no problem.

Mrs. Clusky? What does
she want? Huh? Huh?

Would you stop being so rude?

Not you, Mrs. Clusky!

I'd be happy to.

I just have to ask
my mom and dad.

Okay. Bye.

(dial tone)
Martha,

I need you to be on
your best behavior.

We might be
having a visitor.

You know what
a visitor is.

A visitor is someone

who comes over
and stays for a while.

Hmm. I know what
a visitor means.

But who are they?

Are they bringing treats?

Answer the second
question first.

Mrs. Clusky...

Oh, not your teacher.

Now I'm going to have
to learn all kinds of stuff.

Not Mrs. Clusky. Her dog.

Her dog? Why didn't you say so?

Having a visitor
sounds like fun!

(growling)

Run!

(mewing)

(barking and mewing)

(Martha laughs)

(howling)

MOM:
Use a spoon, mi amor.

I don't know.

Do you think
you can handle another dog?

Sure, she can.

Helen can handle anything.

She would be a great dog-sitter.

(Skits barks)

MARTHA:
Yeah, Skits,
and you're a great

sitting dog. Phew!

Anyway, it's only
for a few days.

And I can help out.

I know everything
about being a dog in this house.

Please, pretty please.

If Helen's willing to be
responsible for the dog,

and if you are willing

to keep it out
of trouble, Martha,

I don't see why not.

Great!

Come on, let's
get ready.

No.

No.

No.

Perfect.

(barks)

I need you to be sure to
give our visitor a chance

to catch the disk once or
twice, just to be polite.

(barks)

I'm going to give our houseguest
first choice of toys.

Drop it!

You're not a guest.

You live here.

You are the host.
(doorbell rings)

Oh! He's here!

Where's the other dog?

(yipping)

I'd like you to meet François.

Hello, François.

(yipping)

Please, won't
you come in?

Thank you so much
for watching François

while I'm at
my scrapbooking convention.

It's no problem, Mrs. Clusky.

Martha and I are excited

to have a houseguest
for a few days.

You bet.

François can be
a little demanding at times.

He won't eat anything white,
unless it's soy milk.

He's allergic to grass,

so he should be carried
on walks.

He'll give you a nip
when he wants to be let down.

Not a bad nip,
but you should wear gloves.

He likes to wear
his sailor suit on Sundays.

Oh, and he needs
to be massaged twice daily.

Thanks again, dear.

And you mind your manners,
François.

(yips)

HELEN:
I'll go tell everyone
that you're here.

MARTHA:
Try the toys,
François.

(panting)

(growls)

(gulping)
Fun, huh?

(yawns)

(snoring)

(growls)

HELEN:
Everyone, this is François.

(yipping)

MOM:
Ay, qué adorable!

Isn't he adorable?
(giggles)

It looks like
Jake's found
a playmate

who's just
his size.

MOM:
That's so cute!

That's so cute.

Look at him go.

What's the big deal?

I chase my tail
all the time. Watch.

(panting)

Huh?

(François yipping,
all laughing)

DAD:
Hey, Jake. Oh.

(François yipping)
MARTHA: Don't bother.

Begging at the table
never works.

Besides, it's bad manners.

(François yipping)

(laughs)
What is it, little guy?

MARTHA:g)
He says

he wants a meatball.

I told him not to bother.

It's not polite to beg.

(yipping)

Well, I'll be.

Look at him.

Yes, well,
maybe just this once.

(gulps and yips)

(gasps)
DAD (laughing):
Look at him!

What a clever monkey!

Aw, he thinks
he's a person!

Hey, look,
I'm a person, too!

(groans)

ALL:
Martha!

(yips)

(slurping)

Mmm, "what a clever monkey."

(François yipping)

You want to
get up here?

Well, you're
the guest.

Come on up.
There's room.

You want the
whole chair?

(yips loudly)

(barking)

(yipping and barking)

Quiet, you two!

You're being rude!

Oh... what's going on?

François was having trouble
sleeping, and...

Martha, where
are your manners?

You should have been
polite and offered

to share your bed.

I did!

It must be tough being
in a strange place.

(whimpers)
Oh!

Would you like to come
and sleep upstairs

in my bed?
(François whimpers)

Boy, my back sure
is sore.

I really could use
a massage!

Sorry, Martha.

I don't have time.

I'll be late
for school.

(door slams shut)

(sighs)

CAROLINA:
He's so cute!

ALICE:
Oh, he's so cute.

You guyst.
should totally

like this.
(yips)

Well, he is a little demanding.

A little demanding?

Well, actually, very demanding.

He needs a lot of
time and attention

for everyone to
make him happy.

Hey, like me!

I'm very demanding.

He's so perfect.

He's like a little accessory.

All he's missing
is a handle.

(girls giggling)

So François gets
to sleep upstairs,

he gets meatballs,
and he gets massages.

It's unfair.

It sounds to me like
you're a little jealous

of that other
dog, Martha.

I'm not jealous.

Being jealous means
you're unhappy

because someone has
something you want.

I don't want a sailor suit.

Maybe not, but you
seem a little jealous

of the privileges our
guest has been getting.

Privileges?!

He's been getting meatballs,
massages,

and now privileges, too?

I can't believe it.

It's just so unfair.

What are privileges?

Privileges are special things

that you get to do or have,
like massages.

And meatballs?

That's right.

Don't be jealous, Martha.

We just want François
to feel welcome.

But I live here.

Shouldn't I feel welcome, too?

(children shouting playfully,
whistle blowing)

I got it! I got it! Whoa!

(grunts)

Ow!

Didn't get it.

Oh, well,
could have been worse.

So, it's your turn
to bring snacks tomorrow.

What's it going to be?

I was thinking I'd make some
of my world-famous cupcakes.

Want to help?
Sure.

They look delicious!

Don't they look
delicious, François?

He's such a little monkey.

Yes, he is!

(stool scraping on floor)

(snoring)

Huh? Huh?

Hmm.

(crickets chirping)

(birds singing)

HELEN:
My cupcakes!

The whole soccer team
was counting on me.

DAD (gulps):
Ahh!

Nothing like a fresh cup
of coffee in the morn...

What did I do?

Did you eat
Helen's cupcakes?

Uh, no. I promise.

They looked delicious,

but I did not eat them.

(Martha licking)

Martha, how could you?

Huh? I didn't do it!
Skits?

(barks meekly)

I bet it was our houseguest.

There's no way François
could have possibly

gotten up on this counter.

It does seem
pretty impossible, but...

I think someone
is making things up

because they're jealous
of someone else.

You know, just because "someone"
is a dog doesn't mean

that "someone" doesn't know
who you're talking about.

And I'm not jealous.

Don't worry.

You have time between
school and practice.

We can make more then.

You and I both know
it was François

who ate those cupcakes.

We just have to prove it.

But how does such a little dog
get to such a high place?

(stool scraping)

(gasps):
I've heard that noise before.

It was last night.

Hmm, but he's still
way too short

to get onto the stool.

(squeaking)

Of course!

All he had to do was jump here,

and here and... bingo.

All-you-can-eat cupcake buffet.

Talk about rude behavior!

Martha!
Hmm?

Martha, so it was you?

Bad dog.

Wait, I can explain.

I have proof that François...

Can you stop being
jealous for one day?

François is
leaving tomorrow.

Yeah, well...

Could you help me down?

(panting)

And now for
the sprinkles.

Oh, no, we're all out.

Do you really
need sprinkles?

The game starts in an hour.

Mom, a cupcake without sprinkles

is like an ice-cream cone
without...

sprinkles.

(sighs):
Está bien.

Let's run to the store.

We'll be back
in five minutes.

He's going to try
to do it again.

We should try to stop him.

(barking)

Maybe you're right.

They're not going
to be gone long.

Let's see what happens.

(panting)

Oh, well,
Skits and I are going

to go upstairs now
for no reason at all.

Oh, hurry up,
François.

(stool squeaks)

(scraping)

They should be here
any minute. Perfect!

(horns honking)
This traffic is horrible.

Don't worry, Mom.

I've got plenty
of time before the game.

Where are they?

(eating noisily)

Keep eating.

Keep eating.
(car approaches)

(car door opens and closes)

It's only five after,
plenty of time to...

(gasps):
Oh, no!

François!
So it was you!

Bad dog!

He's one clever
little monkey.

MRS. CLUSKY:
Thanks for making him

feel welcome.

He's small, but he can be

pretty demanding.

See you later,
Mrs. Clusky.

Bye now.

(sighs)

Adios, François.

I'm sorry I didn't
believe you about François.

It's all right.

At least you learned how
to give good massages.

I think François felt bad
about being a rude houseguest.

Look at all the pretty
flowers he gave me.

(Mom shrieks)

My tulips!

Ah! My daffodils!

(gnawing)

Skits, put that down.

I want to have
a word with you.

about envy.ant to talk
(barks)

Envy is the feeling I get

when you have something
that I would like to have.

It's like I'm jealous
of something you have.

(barks)

Your handsome good looks?

Well, that wasn't
what I was going to say,

but sure, I envy
your handsome, good looks.

(barks)

Sure, I envy your height.

But there's something
I really envy that you have.

You know what it is?

That bone.

See, I take it,
and now I don't feel

envious of you anymore.

(barking)

Okay, okay, you can
have it. Take it.

Wow, he's got
a really loud bark.

I envy that.

I'm hungry.

Throwing a ball all afternoon
is a lot of work.

I'm hungry, too.

Chasing a ball all afternoon
isn't exactly easy.

Huh. Well, if everyone's
so hungry,

let's stop here and eat.

(entrance bell chimes)

Sorry, Martha.

It says "no dogs allowed."

That means dogs
can't come in.

Don't worry, we'll bring you
back a doggy bag.

(entrance bell chimes)

(sighs)

Can't I go
to the science museum, too?

No, Martha, the rules say
dogs aren't permitted.

Hold on.

"Permitted" means it's okay
to do something, right?

Right, people are permitted

to go to the museum,
but dogs aren't.

Dogs aren't allowed
in the science museum?!

I can't believe it.

The one museum a dog
could actually enjoy.

(gnawing)

This is my chance to really sink
my teeth into history.

HELEN:
I know what you're thinking,

and that's why
there's a rule

that dogs aren't
permitted in the museum.

Oh. Would you bring us
some bones in a doggy bag?

(laughs):
No, Martha.

You're not allowed
to bring bones home.

(Skits barks)

(Martha groans)

Thanks, Skits.

But it's just not the same.

(toy squeaking)

RADIO ANNOUNCER:
You're listening
to The What Do You Know Show

and it's time to play
"How Much Do You Know?"

The first caller to answer
the question correctly

will win a fabulous prize.

Is it a dinosaur bone?

What island off the coast
of Massachusetts

shares its name
with two First Ladies

of the United States?
(gasps)

I know! I know!

All right, we have
our first caller.

(groans)

CALLER # :
It's Lucretia Island.

ANNOUNCER:
I'm sorry, caller,

that's the wrong answer.
(ringing on line)

Okay, we have another caller
on the line.

Uh, hello?

Yes, caller.
Do you know the answer?

Martha's Vineyard!

It's an island
that shares its name

with Martha Washington
and Martha Jefferson.

That is correct!

Congratulations, caller,
you've just won...

HELEN:
...a fabulous vacation.

You and your family
are invited to be guests

at the Come-On-Inn
bed-and-breakfast.

Swim in our sparkling pool,

play badminton
on our beautiful lawn,

or relax in our lounge
beside a crackling fire.

Oh, no!

What? You're only allowed
to cook

one steak at a time?

There's a problem.

What do you mean?

A problem means something

that's hard for
us to deal with.

I know what a problem is.

What's the problem
with the invitation?

"Pets are not
permitted."

Oh. Well, go have fun
without me... again.

Skits and I will stay here.

HELEN:
No way.

You won the contest,

and if you're not
invited to be a guest,

then none of us
will go, right?

That's right. If Martha stays
home, we all stay home.

I just wish there
was some way

that you could
come with us.

Huh?

Hang on.

I've got an idea.

And you've got hands.
Follow me.

(giggling)

(gurgling)

Ahem!

Oh, we have a guest?

Everyone, say hello to...

Granny Martha!

(laughing)

Wow, you had me fooled.

Don't you see?

All we have to do
is dress Martha up

and she can come with us
on our vacation.

That's a great idea.

Sure, but what
about Skits?

Skits loves it
when Carolina baby-sits.

She gives him
all the treats he wants.

(barks happily)

Then it sounds like

we're going to be guests
of the Come-On-Inn.

Hurray!
Hurray!

Now let's go outside.

You could roll me
after some cats.

Welcome to the
Come-On-Inn.

My name is Beverly
and I'm the owner.

I'm Helen.
This is my mom and dad,

my little brother Jake
and Granny Martha.

She won
the radio contest.

Pleased to meet you.

Whoa, Granny's
extreme!

What a woman.

Drop it!

Is that any way to speak
to your grandmother?

You're right.
I'm sorry.

Come on, Grandma,

why don't I take
you to our room.

Hey, Granny, come
back later on

for a game
of Ultimate!

Can I swim
a few laps?

No, Granny Martha.

You have to stay covered up,

remember?

(sighs)

I know how you feel.

I be a landlubber myself
these days.

They won't let me steer me ship
since I lost me glasses.

Name's Boomer.

(gasps)

(Helen screams)

Oops.

(forced laugh)

Let's get you upstairs

and dry you off.

Fair winds!

I hope to be seeing you later.

Thanks for inviting me
to have a bit of grub with you.

Would you mind passing
the mustard?

Uh, those are flowers.

Oh. Are they?

I can't hardly
see anything

me glasses.t
Oh.

What happened to them?

Swallowed up.

Biggest fish I ever seen
in my life.

Why don't you just get
a new pair?

Because they're a perfectly good
pair of glasses.

One day I'm going to find
that fish.

(slurping
and gulping)

This fish is
delicious!

You certainly have
a big appetite.

Granny loves to eat.

Isn't that right,
Granny?

Yep!

(slurping
and gulping)

I can't put me finger on it,

but there's something

different
about you.

Oggie!

Different? What do you mean?

I'm as normal as can be.

Oh, no, there's something out
of the ordinary about ye.

All I can say

is you're a very
special lady.

(sighs)
(sighs)

Well, you seem pretty
special to me.

Me?
(chuckles)

I'm just an old, salty dog.

Really?!

Uh, what breed?

How did you get into this place?

Are you wearing a disguise, too?

(chittering)
(barking)

Woof! Woof! Woof.

These meatballs
are delicious!

Thanks. They're my
Grandma Eva's recipe.

If I didn't know better,

I'd say that was a dog barking.

Oh, well, my hearing
must be going, too.

(nervous chuckle)

Martha, you're going
to stay here.

But why can't I go
on the hayride?

Because, Martha,

there's no way you can go
in your Granny disguise.

Sorry, we've had
too many close calls.

Maybe we can sneak you out
after it gets dark.

(sighs)

Here we go again.

(sniffing)

Mmm.

Something smells good!

Well, as long as no one sees me.

(sniffing)

Mmm.

Hey!
(gasps)

MARTHA (singsongy):
Who is it?

I'm sorry to bother you, but

did I just see a dog
run into your room?

A dog?!

I thought pets were forbidden
at the Come-On-Inn.

What kind of business
are you running?

I-I'm sorry, ma'am,

but I'm pretty sure I saw a dog.

Well, I should hope not!

Oh, if I find a dog
in my bathtub,

the manager will be hearing
about it!

Uh, now,
if you'll excuse me,

I'm trying to rest.

Okay.

(sighs)

That was close.

MARTHA:
"No dogs allowed."

"No dogs permitted at the Inn."

"Dogs forbidden on hayrides."

(sighing):
I guess the only thing a dog's
allowed to do is be bored.

Maybe I'll give Skits a call.

Hmm...

MAID:
Room service.
What would you like to order?

I'd like eight T-bone steaks,
six pork chops,

a rack of lamb, a side order
of barbecue chicken...

(Martha snoring)
(knocking on door)

Housekeeping.

(screaming)

A dog has eaten Grandma!

(gasping)

MAID:
Mad dog!

(people clamoring)

What's going on?

What was that?
Mad dog?

(gasps)

(siren wailing)

Do you know where
the mad dog is?

Dog?

What are you going to
do about that snake?!

(people screaming)
Why is everybody running?

(gasps)

Here, take it all,
it's yours!

(man screams)
Hmm, thanks!

Don't mind if I do.

*

We interrupt this program
to bring you news

on a developing situation
at the Come-On-Inn...

(whines)

Hey, that's where Martha went.

...where a mad dog is said
to be on the loose.

I saw it, man. It was huge.

It had these big, yellow eyes
and these pointy ears.

Where did everybody go?

I hope there isn't a problem.

(people murmuring)

(gasps)
There it is!

The mad dog!

Hmm? Me?

Well, of course I'm mad.

Whoa! The mad dog
talked!

I won the radio contest
fair and square,

but I don't get to enjoy
the vacation.

Why?

Because I'm a dog.

And dogs are forbidden
at the Come-On-Inn.

Mm-hmm.

(indistinct chattering)

"Forbidden" means it's against
the rules for us to come here.

But we're supposed
to be your best friends.

Wouldn't you invite
your best friend

to go on vacation with you?

I miss our dog.

Me, too. Let's
go home and see her.

(excited chattering)

I'm going to go play
Ultimate with my dog.

Laters.

This reporter
is headed home

to play with
her new puppy.

Back to you, Chad.

Where are you going?

I really miss my cat.

What happened?

Was there a fire?
Why is everyone leaving?

Oggie!

Oh, no!

We are so sorry.

But Martha really
wanted to come and...

Don't be sorry.

In fact, Martha reminded me
how much I miss my dog

and that sometimes
rules need to be changed.

Mad dog!

No, that's a sofa.

Don't worry,
Boomer.

alarm. a false
Oh.

Has anyone seen
Granny Martha?

So, that's it.

She left without saying a word,
she did.

But if I have to sail
the seven seas to find her,

I will.

Cookie?

(laughing)

(all laughing)

I'm glad we can
be eating here.

Ishmael is restricted from
going to most restaurants.

(squawks)
Restricted.

What do you mean?

"Restricted" means

they won't let him come in,
the scallywags.

Oh, right.

Well, lucky for you

he's not restricted
from the Come-On-Inn.

All pets are welcome.
(whirring)

Scooters,

on the other hand,
are not welcome.

They're forbidden.

(parrot squawks)

(Martha barking)
PARROT:
Restricted.

Restricted.

(barking continues)

I think this summer job
is working out well.

Me glasses!

(squawks)
Glasses.

Hey, welcome back.

Did you catch all
of those words?

Here they are again...

It says
"no dogs allowed."

That means dogs
can't come in.

"No dogs permitted at the inn."

"Dogs forbidden on hayrides."

Privileges are special things
that you get to do or have.

Like massages.

And meatballs?
That's right.

Don't be jealous,
Martha.

We just want François
to feel welcome.

See you next time!

To dig up some more fun words
and games

* Who's that dog? *

* Who's
that dog? *

* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *

That dog is Rugby.

My name is Allison, and
Rugby is a reading partner.

"Martha's family had a wonderful
party trick."

Rugby listens to me
reading to him.

"Her pals were scratching,
sniffing or snoozing."

A dog will pay attention.

A dog won't say
you're bad at reading.

They just roll with it.

"She was..."

* He's that dog... *
* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *