03x06 - Martha in Charge/Martha and the Deep Blue Sea

[bunniefuu]

* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre... *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks, yeah,
she speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks
and speaks... *

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. *

Hi, there!

* She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two!

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks

* And speaks and speaks
and... *

* Communicates, enumerates

* Elucidates, exaggerates

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates
and... *

(panting)

* ...hyperventilates!

* Martha, to reiterate...

Martha speaks!
* Martha speaks.

MARTHA:
When you're feeling
worse than a dog...

Oh, my stomach!

MARTHA:
When you're feeling
under the weather...

My head!

MARTHA:
When you have a fever...

(TD groans)

...then you may be sick.

(TD moans)

Today's show is full
of words about being sick--

words like "ill" and "unwell,"
and also words about

getting better, like "rest,"
"recuperate" and "recover."

I don't think I can
go to school.

I better stay home
and recuperate.

Okay, I'll go call the doctor.

Wait, doctor?

Throw my chewie
again, Helen.

(raspy voice):
Martha, can we
take a break?

(coughs)

I'm really not feeling well.

Aw, please?

Throw my chewie
again, please?

We've thrown your
chewie a hundred times.

How can you possibly
still want to fetch it?

How can you not
want to throw it?

It's the perfect game!

She's got a point.

Fetch!

(Skits barks)

My throat feels so hoarse,
it's like sandpaper.

There's only one
remedy for that.

What's that?

A remedy?
It's something that makes

sick people get better.

For instance,
if you had sleeping sickness,

the remedy would be...
TD,

I know what a remedy is.

I don't need to know
the remedy for sleeping sickness

or beriberi or scurvy.

I need to know
the remedy for hoarseness.

(coughs)

Ow...

Don't talk.

That's the remedy.

Save your voice.

Too late.hisper):
What?

She said "too late."

Too late for what?

You found it!
Where was it?

(Helen, TD and Martha groan)

In the lake, I guess.

I'm wet and miserable,
and we're going (coughs) home.

(continues coughing)

Uh, maybe you should
shake yourself off first.

Grannie Flo's Corn Soup,

the best remedy for a hoarse
throat there is.

Then right up
to bed with you.

(hoarse whisper):
But, Mom, I...

Shh! The less you talk,

the faster
you'll recuperate.

I hope you don't
recuperate.

That sounds bad.

You should just rest,
so you can get well.

Actually, that's what
recuperate means.

What, to get well?
Sí.

It sounds like something
that happens when you're sick.

You know, like,
"Don't go in there,

I just recuperated
all over the rug."

Take my word for it.

"Recuperate"
means to get well.

And Helen needs
to rest and relax,

and she'll recuperate
in no time.

Maybe you have gout.

"It can cause your foot
to swell to enormous size."

Helen!

Your foot!

(Helen sighs)

Oh... pillow.

MOM:
With all due respect,

"doctor,"
I think this is a case

of plain old laryngitis.

Martha, off the bed,
por favor.

(Martha groans)

All that's needed
is a little rest

and she'll be back on
her feet in no time.

Well, don't blame me
if one of those feet

needs a size shoe.

Mi amor,
I have to go out

for one hour
to run some errands.

You stay here
and recover.

Not re-cover
like that, Skits.

She means recover,
like, to get better.

I think Skits
is a fine nurse.

He's re-covering Helen,
so she can recover

from her laryngitis.

Maybe you have lycanthropy,

"a disease where a person
turns into a werewolf."

Truman, I will have
to ask you to go home

and let Helen
get some rest.

Okay. Bye, Helen.

But it'll be so boring,
just lying here.

Don't talk, dear.

The last thing you need
right now is excitement.

It might be scurvy.
Truman!

Go home.
Una hora.

And don't talk.

It's bad for
your hoarse throat.

(Skits whimpers)

(Skits whines)

It's my fault, Skits.

I made Helen sick
with the chewie throwing.

I wish I knew how to cure her.

(questioning woof)

"Cure" means to make
someone better.

Like... when you've got
an upset tummy.

You cure yourself
by eating grass.

But, uh, how do you
cure a person?

(barks)

No, I don't think
grass works on people.

That's something dogs like.

What do people eat
that makes them feel better?

(Skits barks)

Skits, you're a genius!

That's bound to cure her!

(dial tone,
then auto-dial beeping)

(line ringing)

MAN:
Speedy -Seven
Pizza and Munchies.

Could you bring me
three pounds

of assorted mixed gumballs,
suckers, and taffy?

Anything else?

N... Yes!
A large pizza

with pepperoni on it.

Sure thing.
And ham on it?

That'll be fine.
And sausage on it.

Oh, and bacon,
and chicken.

And, uh, are there
any other kinds of meat?

No. Those are
all the kinds of meat.

Okay, that's all. Bye.

(groans) What's taking
that pizza so long?

(phone rings)

I've got it!

(line ringing)

MARTHA (on phone):
Hello?

Hello, this is Helen's school
counselor, Mr. Blaine.

Is Helen home today?

Because she hasn't
come to school.

Ah, that's right.

Helen has a case of laryngitis.

Or-or maybe she's a werewolf.

Are you a doctor?

No, this is her dog.

Huh?
(doorbell rings)

Oh, got to go.

The pizza and candy guy
are here.

(dial tone)

(doorbell rings)

MARTHA:
Hello?

You guys order pizza and candy?

Yeah,

only Helen's mom locked
the door when she went out.

Hang on while I get
someone with hands.

Oh, drat.

(snoring quietly)

Uh, can you leave it
on the porch?

We'll have
to get it later.

Okay, that's $ .

Uh, sorry.

I don't have pockets or money.
All right.

I'm taking this back.
No!

No, wait!
We need to help Helen

recover from her
laryngitis

(Skits barks)
Or werewolfism.

Well, how am I going
to get paid?

I know!

You're sure this isn't
some kind of trick?

No. There's money
in the cookie jar.

You just have to come in
and get it out for me.

This door seems
kind of small.

I come in and out
of it all day.

Okay, if you say.

(doorbell rings)

Ooh! I'll get it!

(grunting)

"Myopia.
Nearsightedness.

Someone who is myopic can't see
very far without glasses."

Hmm...

No, I can see everything.

Helen's house, and her porch,

and the burglar climbing in
through the doggie door.

Nope, no glasses till I'm older.

Burglar?

Burglar!

Burglar! Burglar!

(grunting)

I hate to say I told you so,
but I think I'm stuck.

It was some
chimney cleaners.

They had a special offer
that sounded pretty good to me.

I told them to go ahead.

Whoa!
Are you a talking dog?

That's right.

You owe me bucks.

Hmph.
"This is her dog."

Let's get to the bottom of this.

(growls)
Pull! Pull!

(fabric tearing)

(crashing)
Oops.

My boss is not going
to be happy about this.

Don't worry.

I know someone
who can help us.

They're experts
at getting people unstuck.

(snoring)

(moans quietly)

Hello, fire department?

I need to get someone unstuck.

(doorbell rings)

MARTHA:
Just a minute, please.

Hmm...

TRUMAN:
That's right, Officer,
a burglar!

He's breaking into the house
right now! Hurry!

(gasps)

Another one!

There's two of them! Two!

Hurry!

The firemen are
on their way.

We'll have you out
in no time.

Did you tell them
to bring $ ?

MR. BLAINE:
Hello? Helen?

MARTHA:
She's sleeping.

Uh-huh.
And who are you?

Martha.
Martha?

Oh, yes, the one
who says she's a dog.

MARTHA:
Uh... yeah.

And, uh,

when did you first start
having these feelings

you were a dog?

MARTHA:
Uh, ever since I was a puppy?

Wow.

I have got my work cut out.

That's right, Officer.

Now there's four.

Two at the door...

and two more on the roof!

Hurry!

MARTHA:
Oh, sure,
there's a lot of things

I like about being a dog.

Fetching, rolling in the grass,

drinking out
of the toilet.

This sounds serious.

Uh, can you come out,
so we can talk?

I'm sort of
stuck in here.

MR. BLAINE:
Hmm, well, is there
another way in?

(gasps)

Yes!

How are you
at climbing ladders?

Uh, how's that?

(grunting)

This is crazy,
but if I can help this person...

MARTHA:
Just a little more.

Easy does it.

Yeah, keep coming, keep coming.

(sirens blaring,
horns honking)

What's that?

(sirens blaring, horns honking,
brakes squealing)

Ah, well, keep coming.

Keep... Huh?
Where'd he go?

(grunts, yells)

Wow, how'd you get
over there?

Oh, oh...

(Mr. Blaine yelling,
Martha shrieking)

(crash)

Oopsie.

(humming happily)

(tires screeching)
Aah! What?!

Uh, sorry, folks.

I'm afraid we're taking
an unscheduled detour.

(yawning)

* Me, may, mah, mo, moo!

Hey, my voice is back.

(Jake babbling)

(gasps)

¿Pero qué pasó?

Wha-What happened?

(indistinct radio
communication)

Hey, want to toss the
chewie a... little?

What is going
on out there?

I don't know.

All I can say is,

whoever caused it is going to be
in a lot of trouble.

, , ...

And here's for
your trouble.

Wow! Thanks!

And, uh, send us a
bill for your shirt.

Sorry about
calling the police.

It wasn't your
fault, Truman.

Can Helen
and the dogs come out?

I'm sorry
I ordered those pizzas,

and called the fire department
and... everything!

I was just trying
to help you recover.

Well, next time,
ask me what I want.

I mean, do you
know what it's like

to have other people making
all the decisions for you,

just because you can't
say anything for yourself?

(barks)

Well, yeah,
actually.

It sounds like
being a dog.

Man, that's deep.

Helen, do you think
you could...?

Okay.

Fetch!

(Skits barking)

Well, that solves
everything.

Yeah, except...

What?

Who were those two
guys on your roof?

I hope someone comes back
with that ladder soon.

MARTHA:
Does this ever happen to you?

Do you ever wake up
in the morning feeling

refreshed and happy?

Before mealtimes,
do you ever start

to feel hungry?

(stomach growling)

MARTHA:
After you drink
a whole lot of water...

Ah!

...do you ever feel the need
to go to the restroom?

Uh, excuse me.

(laughing)

If so, you could be one
of millions of people

who are healthy.

Yes, healthy.

Being healthy means
you're not sick.

When you're healthy,

you're in good physical
or mental condition.

In other words, you feel great.

There's no cure
for being healthy,

so don't see your doctor.

Side effects of being healthy
may include happiness,

contentment and the desire
to play team sports.

Used in combination
with early bed and early rise

may result in being wealthy
and wise.

Over ten years at sea,

and still no sign of home.

(beautiful singing
in distance)

But I do hear some
lovely singing!

(singing a beautiful melody)

It's so beautiful!

It... It... makes me want
to throw myself into the sea!

No, Odysseus!

Don't be distracted
by the Sirens!

You must persevere
in your journey!

Persevere?

What does persevere mean?

I've never heard that word.

It's from Latin.

It means to keep doing
what you're doing--

especially if it's hard--
no matter what happens.

Hmm! You learn something new
every day.

Okay, I'll persevere.

Tie me to the
mast, Truman!

You can do it!

You can overcome
this obstacle!

ALICE:
Truman.

Don't quit, Odysseus!

Persevere!

All right, already!

I'm persevering!
I'm persevering!

ALICE:
Truman!

What is it?
Can't you see I'm busy?

ALICE:
Could you please get your nose
out of that book

for one minute?

What are you reading
that's so interesting, anyway?

The Odyssey.

It's about a hero
who's lost at sea,

and he has to overcome
all sorts of obstacles

before he can get home.

Does he see any whales?

'Cause that's what
you're going to see!

*Ta-da!

We're going
on a whale-watching trip,

and my parents said

I could invite
a few friends.

(gasps)

A chance
to see Balaenoptera musculus.

That's the blue whale--

the largest mammal
on the entire pla...

Oh... you didn't tell me
it was on a boat.

I don't go on boats.

Why not?

Because...

Because I just don't,
that's why.

Okay.

Well, let me know
if you change your mind.

(sighs)

Truman, come on,
you have to come.

It'll be so much fun!

I already told you--
I can't.

Every time I set foot on a boat,
I get horribly seasick.

C sick?

How could you be sick of Cs?

They're one
of the tastiest letters.

Not the letter C, Martha.

Seasickness is when
you get sick from

being on a boat
as it moves in the ocean.

Oh!

You mean like
when the boat is moving

up and down

and back and forth.

And your legs
feel shaky,

and everything is
spinning around

and around
in circles.

Yes, like that!

Would you please be quiet?!

Just listening about being
on a boat makes me feel ill!

Isn't there some sort of
medicine you can take?

I've tried
them all.

They just don't
work on me.

Don't worry, Truman.
It'll go away one day.

When I was a puppy,
I'd get carsick all the time.

get over it?
I'm not sure.

I guess I just got used to
the feeling of being in the car.

Hey, maybe we could get you used

to the feeling
of being on a boat.

We have a few days
before the trip.

You want to try to
cure my seasickness?

I guess it's worth a sh*t.

MARTHA:
All right!

Who says you can't teach
a young human new tricks?

No one. Ever.

What are you
talking about?

Oh, that's the spirit!

Feeling ill yet?

No, just bored.

Helen, rock
him faster.

My arms are getting tired.

We've been doing this
for ten minutes already.

Maybe he's not getting queasy

because he doesn't feel
like we're on the water.

I'll go get some sea spray.

(coughing)

MARTHA:
Ahoy there, Truman!

We're on the high seas,
and she's a-storming!

Blow, winds, blow!

(blowing)

(groans)

You're breath
is terrible!

Yeah, I licked an
old tuna fish can.

I thought it would
seem more sea-like.

Are you feeling
ill at all?

Yes, but it's
not seasickness.

It's dog breath
sickness.

(coughing)

MARTHA:
Wow, it looks just like
a ship, doesn't it?

Go ahead.

Martha, are you sure
it's okay to be up here?

Why not?

Hey, don't you feel like
you're on a ship?

Look-- a whale!

It's pink.

And there's a giant dog
next to it.

This isn't realistic
at all.

MAN:
Fore!

(gasps)

Uh-oh.

(screams)

MARTHA:
How could that have happened?

That's crazy.

Now, I'm not only afraid
of getting seasick,

I'm afraid of sinking.

I think it's working.

I'm starting
to feel nauseous.

Your nose itches?

You want me
to scratch it for you?

He said "nauseous," Martha.

It's the feeling
of wanting to throw up.

Hang in there, Truman.

Take deep breaths.

(breathing deeply)

Think about something nice,

like... like dog food!

(groaning)

Martha, that's not helpful.

Okay, I'm definitely
feeling queasy.

Very queasy!

Stop! Stop the boat!

That's it-- I quit.

Quit?

What do you mean,
you quit?

I mean I'm giving up.

Look, I appreciate
you trying

to help me,
but it's hopeless.

I just can't be cured.

No, no, don't leave.

I want to come, too!

I want to come, too!

I want to see the whales!

Sorry, Truman.

You know how boats
make your nose itch.

Nauseous!

The word is nauseous!

(kids gasping and shouting
with excitement)

That'll never be me out there.

ODYSSEUS:
Truman.

(gasps)
Odysseus!

What are you
doing here?

Uh, I took a wrong turn
at Crete and, uh...

Well, it's a long story.

Truman, don't you know
the meaning

of the word "overcome"?

Sure!
To overcome a problem means

to keep trying
until you get over it.

So, why aren't you overcoming
this problem?

Don't let
a little thing

like seasickness
stop you.

Do what you told me
to do: persevere!

I know, but...

(thudding footsteps
approaching)

(roars)

Aah! The dreaded Cyclops!

(roars)

(screams)

Quickly, Truman, get in!

I... I can't!

I'm feeling ill!

You can do it, Truman!

Just jump! Jump!

Ow.

Hey, it says here

we might see
dolphins, too!

Too bad Truman couldn't make it.

He likes dolphins almost
as much as he likes whales.

(car approaches,
honks horn)

We tried our best, Helen.

(car door opens)

Well whatever you
did, it worked.

ALICE:
Look!

Wait! Wait for me!

(sighs anxiously)

Nice going, Truman!

I knew you'd come!

Welcome aboard!

(slurping)

(ship's horn blows)

How are you
doing, Truman?

Are you feeling
a little shaky?

Not yet.

I think I'm okay
as long as I don't move.

(Helen gasps)

Whale!

Whale!

Where? Where?

Oh, sorry--
false alarm.

It was just a
whale-ish wave.

Okay, who
wants lunch?

We have all sorts
of sandwiches.

There's liverwurst,
tuna, egg and...

Oops!

There goes the ham salad.

Darn.

Okay, now I'm starting
to feel a little shaky.

Oh, don't worry,
I'll take care of it.

(groaning)

Oh, if you don't want
a sandwich, Truman,

we have some pea soup.

I don't want anything!

I just... I'm feeling queasy.

I have to sit down.

I know, I'll read.

Reading always relaxes me.

That makes it worse.

I can't even read.

I give up.

I'm going downstairs
to lie down.

TRUMAN:
...

...

.

(sighs)

Great!
I came to see whales,

and I ended up
watching a pencil.

ALICE:
Hey, wow!
Look at that!

(gasps)
They see one!

(groaning)

I can't do it.

Yes, you can, Truman!

Don't quit!

You can overcome
the nausea.

MARTHA:
Amazing!

I've never seen anything
like it!

Okay,
where's the whale?

What whale?

We haven't seen
any whales.

But there was a man over there

who was juggling four oranges!

Astounding!

Juggling?

That's what you got me
up here for?

Well, now that you're up here,
why don't you have a seat?

We're playing Go Fish.

Yeah, if you're going
to feel ill,

you might as well be
with your friends.

(groans)

So, do you have
any twos?

Yep.

I have three...

No, four...

Wait, make that six.

Uh-oh, I think...

I think I'm going to be sick.

Don't worry, I'll take you
to the railing.

(splashing)

Whale!

(all expressing wonder)

I've been sneezed on
by a whale.

This is the happiest day
of my life!

So I knew right away
it was a humpback whale.

You can tell
from the pronounced hump

in the dorsal region.

Well, Truman, I think
you've found a new cure

for seasickness:
being the first person

to spot a whale
on a whale-watching trip.

You know, I haven't felt shaky
or nauseous at all

since we saw it--
it's amazing!

MARTHA:
Guys!

You'll never guess what I found!

Free hot dog buns!

There are tons of them
in that can over there.

Martha, that can
is a garbage can.

Okay, that's enough info.

Oh, that's why there
were little bits

of hot dog in there as well.

(Martha laughing)

I'm feeling queasy.

MARTHA:
And something a little eggy.

TRUMAN (groaning):
Make her stop!

TV ANNOUNCER:
Stay tuned for scenes

from the next Martha Speaks.

An episode filled with dread;

the feeling that something bad

is going to happen.

In this episode,

Martha will try
to overcome her fears...

(gasps)

...and face a challenge
so dreadful

that we can't even tell you
about it on TV.

But I have to know what it is!

Okay, okay, we'll show you
just a brief clip.

(gasps)

That is dreadful.

I'm sure glad that
was a TV show and not...

(gasps)

(gasps, moans)

What a dreadful dream.

I talked
to the doctor.

He thinks you might
need a sh*t or something.

He's on his way over.

Uh, you know what?

I'm starting
to feel better!

Did you catch all of the words
about being sick and healthy?

Let's watch them again.

"Cure" means
to make someone better.

A remedy-- it's something

that makes sick people
get better.

I hope you don't
recuperate.

That sounds bad.

You should just rest,
so you can get well.

Actually, that's
what "recuperate" means.

Bye.
See you next time.

To dig up some more fun words
and games, visit pbsk

* Who's that dog? *

* Who's
that dog? *

* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *

That dog is Bert.

We're at Children's Hospital
Boston.

Bert is a volunteer
with the Pawprints program.

He enjoys coming to see the kids
because he gets to be petted

by a lot of children.

He's a friend.

MAN:
I think that it makes them feel,

for a little bit, like they're
not in the hospital

and they can take their mind
off things.

Bye, Bert!
MAN:
He gets to have

little doggie treats when we get
back to the office.

* He's that dog... *
* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *