01x01 - Here

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hey, guitar player ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ How to laugh and dance ♪

♪ Whether you're a pancakes
Or waffles man ♪

♪ We still got a whole lot left to learn ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ We'll do something new ♪

♪ Start a snowball fight in June ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ If you only knew
How the game has changed ♪

♪ You'd think it's kind of nice
Even when it rains ♪

♪ But take any advice
With a grain of salt ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

[owl hooting]

[narrator] Just east of North Westville
and south of Goo-bai,

a town known as Glurfsburg
might catch your eye.

Our story starts here.

Who knows what's in store?

It begins with a kite, and then...

Woo-hoo-hoo!

-[narrator] Shut the front door!
-Whoa!

[narrator]
That is a... That's a ninja!

This is Dr. Seuss, so I wasn't expecting--

Oh, why would you cut the line?

What's a piece of paper gonna do?

Oh, you just answered my question.

Dive roll!

[narrator] This sneak
has snuck into a zoo!

Past the Moostrich,

the Walvark,

and the Llama-Gnu.

[chuckles]
[grunts]

[humming]

[snoring]

[narrator] That wall is no problem.
It's barely a hurdle!

But the same can't be said
of those large slapping turtles!

-Oh! With the right flipper!
-[screaming]

[grunts]

[creature grunts]

[ninja gasps]

Okay, okay. Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Easy. Easy, now.

Easy!

Easy, big fella.

Oh, wow!

-[snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[gasps]

[screams]

[guard grunting]

[narrator] Yet, when the guard got there,
see what he learnt:

The cage was still present,

but man and beast...

weren't.

On your left!
Busy inventor coming through!

Well, I'm gonna be late!
I'm going to be late!

[narrator] "Who's this guy," you wonder,
"rushing round in a hurry?"

Relax with the questions.

We'll get there. Don't worry.

-[bell sounds]
-[Guy] Right on time.

This is it.

-Whoa!
-[water splashes]

Ugh!

[groans]

Who puts a puddle--

-Oh!
-Hey, mister! Save the Yips?

No time.

They have the Yaps,
but we're searching for a cure!

Please, sign here.

[groans]

Stupid Yips and Yaps making me late!

[woman] Oh.

E-Excuse me, sir.

Would you mind taking a photo of us?

-No!
-Great! Thanks.

That's not what I meant.

It's the button on top.

Say, "I'm ruining your life!"

[all] "We're ruining your life!"

[groans]

[elevator dinging]

-[Guy whines]
-[elevator dinging]

-[smashing button]
-Oh, come on!

I'm Guy, life-long inventor,
here for the biggest meeting of my life!

That's nice.

Have a seat. We'll be with you
in the next seven hours.

[groans]

Huh?

[narrator] Look at the neat
and amazing inventions!

Every one worthy of Snerz's attention!

-There's an anti-umbrella!
-[gasps]

Oh!

And a tree stump de-rooter!

And right over there is a narrator muter!

I wonder what that does?

[voice fading] Wait! Hold on! No!
Stop turning the dial, please! I can't--

-[people applauding]
-Yours is a winner for sure!

All right! Woo-hoo!
I'm going to Meepville!

[people applauding]

[woman]
Oh, I hope we make the cut!

Fingers crossed!

Ooh! An auto finger-crosser?
They said it couldn't be done!

-[sighs]
-So, what's your invention?

It's, uh... It's nothing special.

Ooh! Nothing special?

Sounds special!

[man] Ooh, nice!

Get a load of that!

Snerz is gonna love that!

[narrator] A narrator muter? These people
have no idea what I do. This is my craft--

-Support the Yips, sir?
-[narrator] Ah-ha! I'm back!

My volume's off zero!

-Just in time to meet our other hero!
-[whistling]

Whoa!

Nice, try there, puddle.
Not gonna catch me!

Hup!

Ah, why not?

[laughs]

Whoo!
[hums]

-[woman] Mister, support the Yips?
-Yips?

-Oh!
-I heard they have the Yaps.

Just tragic.

Okay, where do I sign?
Can I do it more than once?

Boing! Handspring!

Whoo!
[laughs]

Here we go!
Uh-oh! Coming through!

Oh, family photo! Priceless moment!

Say cheese!

-Give me duck face! Tea pot arms!
-[family laughs]

Put a leg in the air! Pucker hard! Squat!

-Scream!
-[family screams]

Thanks, Mister!

Hey, what's your name?

I'm Sam.

Sam-I-Am.

Guy-Am-I?

Is there a Guy-Am-I here?

I'm the only person in this room.

You sure there isn't anyone else
you want to squeeze in first?

Nope. You're the absolute,
very last person they wanted to see.

Hmm.

Lose the frown, kid.

They're just a bunch of bean counters
and pencil pushers.

[door buzzes open]

One bean.

Two beans.

[light dings]

[narrator] Our friend Guy-Am-I
hasn't been a success.

Every invention's ended up a huge mess.

All that failure has made his hope
nearly run dry.

But today, he's gonna give it...

One last try.

7,462 beans.

7,463 beans.

All right, buddy. You're up.

[male Honcho]
Dazzle us.

[clears throat]

Isn't travel the worst?

Trapped on a cold air balloon
with a bunch of strangers,

all of 'em yacking at you,

pestering you,
never letting you stew in peace.

Stuck at the mercy of someone else's
schedule as the last bus pulls away,

-and you're not on it!
-7,469 beans.

Well, what if you could go
where you want to,

whenever you want to,
entirely on your own?

Now you can.

With the Self-Flyer.

-Hmm, interesting.
-Ooh.

-I'm leaning in.
-Intriguing.

I was ignoring the sad man,
but he has my attention now!

Exclusive, aspirational,

definitely Snerz-worthy!

Oh! [chuckles wryly]
That's good.

Just what every child needs!
A death trap strapped onto their back!

This thing is 100% safe,

as you will see
in the following demonstration,

when I 100% won't explode.

Ooh, I like it.

[exhales]

[Self-Flyer beeping]

[grunts]

-[Guy] Oh!
-[gasping]

Don't explode. Don't explode.
Don't explode.

Whoa!

Wowzers!

I'm not exploding!

Whoo!
[laughs]

Self-Flyer.

Hmm?

I think we're all in agreement.

You're going to Meepville!

Get ready to pitch to Snerz himself!

See you...

SnerzDay!

[narrator] Guy felt fantastic!
He'd finally won!

He'd invented a thing-a-ma-do
that had done!

-[Self-Flyer clanking]
-Whoa! Oh, no!

Whoa! Oh!

[Guy grunting]

No, not my beans!

-Whoa!
-Whoa!

[Guy] Whoa!

[grunting]

Whoa!

[gasps]

[Self-Flyer exploding]

[clapping]

[male Honcho]
Holy moly!

Oh, dear.

I'm not gonna say, "I told you so,"
because I've written it down.

[buzzer sounds]

[narrator] Guy wondered why he bothered
to even show up...

when everything he invented
was sure to blow up.

There's Guy's critic,
bean counter Michellee,

whose face always looked
like she'd smelled something...

smelly.

Oh, just the thought of that awful device
gives me the fuzzles.

I wouldn't let my daughter
go anywhere near it. [sighs]

E.B. is very fragile.

[narrator] E.B.'s not so fragile.
If her mom only knew

that she's luring a Pandog
with cheese-stuffed bamboo.

[grunting]

Huh? [panting]

[narrator] Mom would have a conniption.
"No pets is the rule!"

But E.B.'s not listening, 'cause...

A pet would be cool!

[growling]

[E.B.] Got it!
[laughs]

[grunting]

Come on!

Come on!

[grunts]

[exclaims]

[screams]

Oh!

Don't worry.

I won't tell your mother.

[sighs]
Thank you, Mrs. McGrisses.

As long as you buy me a car!

-What?
-I like them red and fast!

Flames on the side.

You know I'm ten, right?

-[horn toots to "La Cucaracha"]
-[gasps]

Hey, E.B.! Wanna ride occycles?

Do I want to? Yes.

Can I? No.

Because I don't have one.
Because my mom won't let me.

Hey, why don't you hop
on my handlebars then?

My mom would be able to tell.

She checks my eyebrows for wind-blownness

and my general disposition
for any traces of exhilaration or whimsy.

Ouch.

Yeah, you should just get out of here.

Just this conversation
is slightly whimsilarating.

We interrupt this old person soap opera
to report:

a Chickeraffe has escaped
the Glurfsburg Zoo!

[gasps]
Hey!

This animal is wild and should be
considered extremely dangerous!

Looks like I just found my new pet.

[elephant trumpets]

[lock rattles]

[tires squeal]

[man] Greetings, we have
some questions about the Chickeraffe.

[sighs] I already told you cops
everything I know.

Eh-eh. We're not the cops.

We're the BADGUYS.

Yeah, it's even on our card.
Check it out!

Sweet font, huh?

You have cards?

No, no, no!

[grunting menacingly]

[guard] Oh, no!
[grunts]

D-Don't hurt me!
I-I-I'll tell you anything!

-[grunts]
-Where is the Chickeraffe?

Better talk fast,
'cause this pole's getting really heavy!

[whimpers]
I-It just escaped! It ran away!

He's a liar!

Please, McWinkle.
Can I drop him, please?

If the man were a liar,
his pants would be on fire.

Those are clearly just scaredy pants.

Tell me, coward, did you find
anything unusual at the scene?

Unusual? No.

Just a kite, a snorkel,
and a pole vault pole.

Gluntz, let him go.

[guard screams]

[water splashes]

[McWinkle]
I meant let him go... free.

Oops! My bad. My bad.

[grunting]

[Gluntz]
Sorry 'bout that.

[screams]

How many jobs have I done, Gluntz?

862! A BADGUY record!

And how many jobs have you done?

Roof slide!

One, sir! Uh, counting this one.

And may I just say, it has been sick!

This was no escape.

Someone broke in
and took that Chickeraffe.

That someone has the animal.
He is our target.

Can you see me?

I am jacked right now!

[exclaims]
I have always wanted a target!

We find the target,
we find the Chickeraffe

and deliver it directly to the Bigman.

[thunder crashing]

[narrator] In Meepville,
there was no man bigger than Snerz,

whose hair was, in fact,
just a miniature Flerz.

[squeals]

[whimpers]

Tell me, Yes Man, is it ready?

Y-Yes, Mr. Snerz.

[narrator] He owned everything
that a Snerson could own!

Like a solid gold stapler
and a gold-plated stone.

[grunts]

Ah!

Careful with my stone!

It's covered in gold!

[straining] Yes, Mr. Snerz.

[narrator] But his pets
were his most belovedest treasures.

Animal friends who'd be with him...

-[thunder crashes]
-[narrator] ...forever.

Greetings, little ones!

[bleats]

-[animal groaning]
-[Snerz] Stay!

That's very good.

Daddy loves you, too.

[narrator] Just one spot remained
on Snerz's wall,

and it was reserved for the rarest of all.

-[thunder crashes]
-[Snerz laughs]

[narrator] Guy has inventions
but no place called home.

And right now,
he's desperate to take off and roam.

Where does it matter, be it far or near?

As long as it's AnyOldWhereButHere.

[announcer over PA] The 4:28 bus
to AnyOldWhereButHere

is departing in three seconds.

-Three seconds until--
-[Guy] No!

[announcer]
That's it. That was three seconds.

No! Stop the bus, please!

Stop the bus!

[panting]

[groaning]

Stupid invention!

Stupid Guy!

I give up!

Stupid bus! Stupid town! Stupid sidewalk!

Stupid hat.

[bell on door rings]

Welcome to our diner, diner!

[grumbles]

Okay...

-Apps are over here.
-I'll have the oatmush.

Swirl of jam with that?

-No.
-How about a touch of honey, honey?

Just oatmush, dry,

and a spoon.

One Sad Man's Special!

[blows]

[cook]
One Sad Man's Special comin' up!

[Guy grumbles]

[narrator] What to do next?
Certainly not invent.

[Guy] Hmm.

[narrator] But Guy needed something
to help pay the rent.

[Sam] Afternoon, Donna.

Love what you've done with your fur!

[Donna] Oh, you!
Same as it always is.

[gasps]

Huh?

[gasps]

Uh-oh.

[gasps]

Oh, wow. Look at this!

We're Briefcase Buddies!

It's like finding a matching snowflake.

It's an unremarkable attache
sold in most major stores.

And we both bought it!

Plus, to end up
sitting next to each other like this.

I mean... wow.

I'm just gonna say wow!

I am Sam.

Sam-I-Am.

Of the Glurfsburg I-Am's.

Perhaps you've heard of us?

What's your handle, partner?

Grumph!

Grrrumph!

Lovely name. How do you spell that?

Is that one rumph or two?

So, Sam, I imagine
you'll be having the ushe?

If you insist.

-Green eggs and ham!
-[cook] Comin' up!

Yuck!

[gasps]
You don't like green eggs and ham?

No, I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

Understood. Question asked and answered.

No further queries necessary.

[clicking tongue]

Have you ever tried them before?

[sighs] No.

Well, how can you be so sure
you don't like 'em

if you've never actually eaten 'em?

Well, I've never eaten Walvark droppings,

but I'm certain
I wouldn't enjoy those either.

But green eggs and ham are
the most deliciousist, nutritiousist,

greenisist thing in the world!

And PS, they're especially good here.

That's fantastic.

But I don't want them, here or otherwise.

Tell you what,
make that two orders, Donna. On me.

No! Just oatmush! And a spoon!

Sad Man's Special. Tsk!

Suit yourself.

So, what'd you fail at?

[growls] Would you please
just leave me alone?

-[bell dings]
-[cook] Order up!

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! It's coming!

Bring them in for a landing!
The hangar is open!

-Here's the ushe, hun. Enjoy.
-Oh, yes!

Excuse me, but I ordered mine first.

Food comes out when it's ready.

[sniffing]

Oh, that's a good nose. It's an eggy nose.

I'm getting hints of egg,
and yes, definitely green.

Yuck!

Mmm! This is so good!

It's like eating little pieces of joy.

[moans]
Each bite!

Joy!

Mmm! More joy!

[bell on door rings]

What do you recommend for a celebration?
Because...

[all] We're going to Meepville!

-Drop the flavor hammer, Bert!
-[cook] You got it!

-Egg-cellent!
-Fantastic!

So green!

Can't wait to try them in Meepville!

["Walkin' Back to Happiness" playing]

♪ Funny, but it's true ♪

♪ What loneliness can do... ♪

Hey, Donna, sorry to be a nudge,

but my Briefcase Buddy here
is still waiting on an oatmush.

-Spoon on the side?
-You got it, sport.

Thanks. You're a peach.

♪ Walkin' back to happiness ♪

♪ Whoopa!
Oh, yeah... ♪

Thank you.

No problem.

That's what best friends are for!

-I just met you.
-[bell dings]

[Bert] Order up!

-Sad Man's Special.
-[sighs] Finally.

Bon appétit.

Careful! That bowl's hot!

[muffled screaming]

[gulps]

I'm fine. Okay?

Oh!

[grunts]

Great meeting you, Grumph!

My name is Guy.

Huh, that's a weird name.

Chickeraffe-catching apparatus complete.

Now, to test it on our first live subject,

the rare northeastern babysitter.

[locks unlocking]

Whoa!

E.B., I'm home.

-E.B.?
-Your daughter owes me a car.

It's gonna be red.

Okay.

Well, thank you, Mrs. McGrisses. Yeah.

Oh, uh... [clears throat]

Good evening, Mother!

Oh! There's the bean
that counts most of all.

Hmm.

I detect a hint of...

-whimsy?
-[grunts]

I'll allow it.

[sighs]

So, who's excited
about our big business trip?

Me. I am. Definitely.

But... counter-proposal,
maybe I could just stay here.

But I thought you were looking forward
to seeing Meepville.

You know, I'm just worried
about the big city,

where every step is a roll of the dice.

Maybe I'd be safer here in boring
Glurfsburg where nothing ever happens.

[man on TV] Something happens
in Glurfsburg!

If there are children or over-protective
single mothers in the room,

-you may want to ask them to leave.
-Oh, my!

Do not panic!
Chickeraffes are incredibly scary!

They have huge teeth, sharp claws,
a beak that can snap a man in two...

I've-- I've seen this one before.

Spoiler alert: It's all made up
and not worth paying attention to.

Stare at one too long,
and it'll steal your soul!

Ah! What was that?

Was that a Chickeraffe?
Run for your lives!

[screams]

It can smell my fear!

Oh! Oh, my! Right here in Glurfsburg?

Huh?

[man screaming on TV]

Cheese-stuffed bamboo?

E.B., this creature is not a pet.

It's terror on four feet!

Chickeraffes walk on two feet, Mom.

Of course.

So they can use the other two
to mash their prey into a fine paste.

You are definitely coming with me
to Meepville, young lady.

And yes, the big city can be dangerous.

Which is why we have these!

[chuckles]

They're Friendship Bracelets!

[straining]

-[bracelets beeping]
-[gasps]

[bracelets]
Genuine Friendship!

-[Michellee] Fun! Right?
-[groans]

This way, we can stick together
and be safe always, like friends.

[groaning]

[narrator] The time had come
to choose a choice.

I do love inventing.

[narrator]
Said his hopefulest voice.

But stuff blowing up is a valid complaint.

Could it be time to start watching paint?

[Sam]
Hey, drive safe, Philip!

You may say those leftovers
are for the Pandog,

but we all know they're for you.

Am I right?
[chuckles]

Oh, classic Philip.

Mmkay, it's closing time, Sam.

Oh, right.

Right.

Thanks, Donna.

It's getting late. I should probably
be heading home anyway.

Got a bunch of friends there
waiting for me.

Gonna be a real hoot.

Possibly a double hoot.

[chuckles]

I should give you my address in case you
and the kitchen staff feel like coming by.

I still have it, Sam.

From the last time you invited us?

And the six times before that.

Oh, yeah. Of course.

Of course!

Night, Donna!

[Donna] Goodnight, Sam.

-[sighs]
-[over radio] This is Officer 17

reminding all units that the Chickeraffe

-is extremely dangerous!
-Oh!

-Please proceed with caution!
-[siren wails]

-[grunts]
-[cop 1] Did you see that?

[cop 2] Uh, yeah,
I think it went down that alley.

Phew!

Dun, dun, dun!

[cop 1 gasps]
Was that it? Check it out!

[cop 2]
Uh, you go first!

You're coming with me, Chickeraffe.

[laughing]

-[splashing in pool]
-[people laughing]

[people in pool]
We're going to Meepville!

♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, Meepville! ♪

♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, Meepville! ♪

♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, Meepville! ♪

♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, Meepville! ♪

[man]
You can still hear us!

[people in pool]
Those are just curtains!

[groans]

[people in pool singing]
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, Meepville... ♪

[narrator] Guy picked the briefcase!
He'll fix his Self-Flyer!

My bad. He's tossing it into that fire.

-[groaning from briefcase]
-What?

[grunting from briefcase]

-[squealing from briefcase]
-[gasps]

-[grunting from briefcase]
-[screams]

No, no, no!

[blowing]

[gasps]

[growling and grunting from briefcase]

Um...

Whoa!

[Chickeraffe grunting]

-[grunting]
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

-Whoa! [screams]
-[Chickeraffe squeals]

♪ Hey, guitar player ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ New York's number-one cut creator ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Hey, speed skater ♪

♪ T-t-t-t-take a right ♪

♪ Let's put an ad in the papers ♪

♪ Uh ♪

♪ Backflip ♪

♪ You know what to do ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Backflip ♪

♪ You know what to do ♪

♪ Ooh, let your freak flag fly ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪