01x04 - Fox

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Green Eggs and Ham". Aired: November 8, 2019 – April 8, 2022.*
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Animated comedy adventure series loosely based on the 1960 Dr. Seuss book of the same title.
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01x04 - Fox

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Hey, guitar player ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ How to laugh and dance ♪

♪ Whether you're a pancakes
Or waffles man ♪

♪ We still got a whole lot left to learn ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ We'll do something new ♪

♪ Start a snowball fight in June ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ If you only knew
How the game has changed ♪

♪ You'd think it's kind of nice
Even when it rains ♪

♪ But take any advice
With a grain of salt ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ If you only knew ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

[gulps]

Where's the Chickeraffe?

Wh-What I'm about to do
is in no way an admission of guilt.

[yelps]

Huh?

[Guy]
Whoa!

[train whistle sounds]

[panting]

Whoa!

[model train whistle sounds]

[gasps]

Whoa!

[Gluntz and McWinkle grunt]

Whoa!

[Guy grunts]

[McWinkle grunts]

-[McWinkle grunts]
-[Guy yells]

[grunting]

Hey, McWinkle!

[grunting]

[groaning]

Watch out for the bars!

Not helpful.

[sniffing]

[whimpers]

Sorry, big fella.

It's just you and me now,

and I am perfectly happy raising you
as a strong, single Sam.

We don't need a Guy to take care of us.

-[squeals]
-Oh, thank goodness you're back!

I missed you so much.
I've been a total wreck.

They're here!

Quick family portrait.

[Mr. Jenkins warbling]

Will you please stop? There's no time.

-They're coming for me and you--
-[E.B.] Hey!

-[gasps]
-[clears throat]

[narrator]
Usually, Michellee's upturned little nose

is more wrinkled like raisins
than pink like a rose.

But last night with Guy,
over chit chat and beans,

a friendship blossomed
that was quite unforeseen.

We were just on our way to the dining car,

and I thought that...

Uh, E.B. actually--

E.B. thought you might like
to have breakfast with us?

-No. It's out of the question.
-Of course. We'd love to.

Oh, well, all right then.

I mean, it didn't matter to me either way.
I mean...

It did matter to E.B.

Tell Mr. Jenkins I'll bring him leftovers.

[warbling]

[gasps]
Is that the escaped Chickeraffe?

[warbling]

It's... a Chickeraffe.

Why do you have a Chickeraffe?!

Well, it's...
[sighs]

It's an interesting story.

It really is.

Plot twists for days. Binge-worthy.

Oh! I knew you were a dangerous man.

I can't believe you lied to me.

Actually, I can. I just can't believe
I was stupid enough to trust you.

[groans]

Wait!

Give us the Chickeraffe.

Now I see
what you were trying to tell me.

You wanted us to flee!

Huh?
[grunts]

Viva los Briefcase Buddies!

Love your shoes.

-[Gluntz] They really are fabulous.
-[gasps]

Mom, gotta go! Bye!

-Come back!
-[bracelet beeping]

[bracelet]
Genuine Friendship!

[exclaims]

Oh!

Yup, we're gonna have to jump it.

Are you nuts? It's a bottomless ravine.

Okay, we'll flip up bruckle. I call tails.

See? [chuckles]
There is a bottom.

End of the line, boys.

Any last words before we net you up?

I have several words.

Don't care. Gluntz, now.

Sir, it only seems fair.
I did offer him last words.

Rookie move.

[gasps]

I have a plan.

Follow my lead.

No, your lead is not a good lead.

My last words are...

[warbling]

-Fly, Mr. Jenkins!
-Whoa!

-Fly!
-[exclaims]

-That was very moving.
-[McWinkle grunts]

[narrator] The rare and noble Chickeraffe
is like a living photograph,

poised and regal, lithe and spry,

but did you know...

Chickeraffes can't fly!

-[Sam and Guy screaming]
-[Mr. Jenkins warbling]

[both screaming]

I never realized how much falling

-feels like not falling.
-Huh?

I always get my target.

Let's see how you get out of this one!

[Gluntz laughs]

[Sam and Guy scream]

I should not have asked that question.

[Sam and Guy screaming]

[Guy continues screaming]

[Mr. Jenkins warbling]

[Guy grunting]

[Mr. Jenkins warbling]

Phew! They made it.

-[Michellee clears throat]
-[E.B. sighs]

Let's go, young lady.

We're going straight
to the Think About What You've Done car,

where you can think about what you've done

-all the way to Meepville.
-[sighs]

[warbling]

[grunts]
[laughs]

Oh.

Tails!

-Hmm.
-[Guy groaning]

[Guy screams]

[grunts]

Told you we should have jumped.

[train whistle sounds]

-[gasps]
-Turn this train around right now.

Abso-tootly.

Just need to see your tickets first.

[both]
Tickets?

[both scream]

This might cause a slight delay
in our plans.

[laughs]
Oh.

Cronies!

We've been at this game
of one-upmanship for years.

But now, when my Chickeraffe arrives,

you will have to admit
that it's game over.

A Chickeraffe is proof positive

that I am better than you.

[scoffs]
That would be a game changer.

A Chickeraffe does sound delish.

We're not eating it.
It's purely a symbol to show

how much better I am than you.

I don't see a Chickeraffe.

All I see is a desperate little man
on that wall.

Yeah. When are we actually
gonna see it?

You will see it on SnerzDay.
[snaps fingers]

[dramatic music plays]

Because you're all invited
to my luxurious, stupendous,

absolutely out-of-this-world gala,

where the pièce de résistance will be...

le Chickeraffe.

Mmm. Sounds delicious.

Again, we're not eating it.

Is that the same person?
Is that Siobhan? Or Roger?

You're both equally irritating.

Now, just leave my eyes.

It had better be there, Snerzy,

or it's game over for you.

It'll be there, fudgecakes.

And when it is,

I'm gonna laugh in the faces
of all of you,

my dear, dear friends.

RSVP by Tongsday. No plus ones.

[Guy]
Quick question.

Shouldn't you know Chickeraffes
can't fly, Mr. Wildlife Expert?

[chuckles]

Biology isn't a science, Guy.

You seem really bad at your job.

I know, right?

We're both bad at our jobs.
What are the odds?

Guess that's why we make
such a great team.

We are not a team.

Of course we are.

We're Team Jenkins.

Who else is gonna take care
of the little big fella?

Not me.

I'm gonna get as far away
from you and this beast as possible.

[whimpering]

Papa.

[sentimental music plays]

Did he just say "Papa"?

That's impossible. He is an animal.

He doesn't speak.

Maybe not.

But he does feel.

And he's hurt that this supreme dream team
is breaking apart.

That's ridiculous.

[howling]

See?

-What's the matter with him?
-He's emotionally distraught.

[sniffing]

I think he's hungry.

Right. Food.

The wildlife expert is on it.

Watch him for me, Papa.

I am not his papa.

[whimpers]

[sighs]
I'm not your papa.

[bird screeches]

But Sam, he's-- he's a bumbling fool,

and you need someone to look after you.

So, hmm,

perhaps, maybe I'll stay a while.

You know, just until I know you're safe.

[chirps happily]

[purring]

Guy Junior.

[Sam]
OMG, you're staying!

Whoa!

No, no, I-I was just, uh...

We'll work this out later
at the team meeting.

Now, I have many delectable
food options here. First up...

a worm.

Lots of protein, free range. Very nice.

Blech!

Phew!

-I was rooting for you the whole time.
-[scoffs]

[grunting]

Not a problem. Second choice...

corn.

[crunches]

[rumbling]

[squawks sadly]

I have one more option,
vis-à-vis the meal.

The wait has literally almost k*lled me.

Big fella...

How about...

this?

It's, uh, totally organic,

-and... earthy.
-[sniffs]

-[howling]
-It's a real Pickyraffe. [chuckles]

Bet he gets that from you.

Oh, will you please stop who-ling?

Just try the worm.
Maybe you'll like it, huh?

I mean, you'll never know
until you try it.

[gasps] Well!

Pleased to meet you,
Mr. Change-of-heart.

-I can't stand it anymore.
-[screams and cries]

[sighs]

[purrs]

So...

he eats ties.

[crying]

Okay, we need, like, a million ties.

That was my only one.

Make it stop!

Let's see here.

[fussing]

Papa, Papa, Papa! Papa, Papa, Papa!

Hmm.

Oh!

You know what they say.
"Where there's smoke, there's ties."

[sighs]

[mimics radio static]
Best friend to super best friend,

what is our plan? Over.
[mimics radio static]

My plan is to find it some ties.

You stay put.

What?

[mimics radio static]
You didn't say "over." Over!

That's because I am not
an insane person. Over.

[mimics radio static]
Best friend to super best friend,

I propose we both go together.

Teamwork makes the dream work.

Over...

Hold the phone.

[clucks]

Somebody poach me.

-Sam, no!
-[grunts]

[growling]

[snarls]

Oh, I can't watch.

[blows]

The guard is on duty.

Everything is under control,

including me.

A fox guarding the hen house?

Well, that's progressive.

We're here for ties.

Remember?

Aww!
[giggles]

Couldn't agree more.

So, time for some teamwork.

[vocalizing]

[sighs] Fine, but there'll be
no dream work.

[chuckles]

[Kn*fe pounding]

[pounding continues]

[pounding continues]

[stairs creaking]

-[loudly] See any ties?
-Shh!

Relax. They're all the way back there.

-No one's gonna hear a thing.
-[door opens]

[warbling]

[screaming]

Mom!

There's a Chickeraffe in the bath!

Sure.

And last night,
there was a was-it in your closet.

Come to the table, sweetie.
It's time for lunch.

But, Mom...

Phew! That was close.

You know, when I was his age, I had
an imaginary friend named Reggie.

But my mom... Get this.
She acted like he was real.

She even put out a plate for him
at breakfast.

[chuckles]
Pretty great, huh?

She sounds as bananas as you.

Okay, that was harsh.

Also, you never talked about your folks.

Would they do stuff like that?

Let's just find the ties.

Oh-ho-ho! Did your family do this?

I mean, every family does this, right?

Mark me! Mark me!

Wait. Hat or no hat?
Hat or no hat? Hat--

Start searching.

What sort of man doesn't own a necktie?

[Sam]
Um, this sort of man.

Don't they look happy?

Of all the farmhouses in the world,

we find the one
where the farmer has no neck.

[crying]

There, there.

[warbling excitedly]

Hold all the phones!

Let's move, team.

I spy a tie.

[grumbles]

[train whistle sounds]

[sighs]

Um...

I've been thinking about what I did
for a while.

So, are we good now?

No, we are not, Elanabeth.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to finish my count by SnerzDay.

Okay, I get it.

I'll just read this super-boring
safety manual all day.

That seems like a fair punishment.

Oh, wow.

That's how a seatbelt works. Interesting.

[sighs]

-Hit it over here!
-[children laughing]

-Yay!
-Nice sh*t.

-Score!
-Whoa!

[children laughing]

[sighs]

I could just stare at the corner.

Honey, I don't need you
to punish yourself.

I just need you to think
before you run off like that.

But Mr. Jenkins could have gotten hurt.

You could have gotten hurt.

Please, don't ever scare me like that
ever again.

I'm sorry, Mom.

It's just... I'm just kind of cooped up,
and last night on the top of the train--

What was that?

It's okay. Mr. Jenkins kept me safe,

just like Sam is keeping him safe.

You were on top of the train?

The moving train?

No.

[bracelets beeping]
Genuine Friendship!

This is so exciting!

I love that we're working together,
you know.

Really making that dream work.

Please, just do what I say
and stay out of my way.

We need to be efficient.

-Got it. Get in. Get out.
-Right.

And whilst we're at it,
it wouldn't hurt to fry up

-a nice green egg or two.
-[Guy] Sam!

But have you ever had green eggs and ham
with a fox?

So good.

-[chuckles] They really know their eggs.
-Shh!

[exhales and sniffs breath]

You look good, Fox.

-Hey there, Sandra.
-Oh, hey, Michael.

I brought you a present.

The ones with the caraway center
are my favorites.

[sighs] I don't want them.
Give 'em to Terrence.

Okay.

[munching and squealing]

What's with the tie?

It's for our date tonight.

I was thinking ice skating.
Maybe a little smooth jazz.

It's a hard pass, Michael.

[Terrence]
Michael...

I like smooth jazz.

Not now, Terrence.

Just one date, please.

I think you're the sweetest, smartest,
greenest hen in the whole world!

You're a fox. You eat eggs.

[stammers] Not anymore.
I haven't touched an egg in a month.

I'm on this cleanse now
where all I eat is worms, corn, and mud,

and I feel amazing!

I've changed, Sandra.

I'm a new fox.

Maybe.

But you're still a fox.

Seems like they have their issues,
but I'm sure they can work them out.

Love fails.

Always.

You get your hopes up, it seems wonderful,

and then, it blows up right in your face.

Boom!

Same as everything else.

You'll see. I'm a reformed fox!

There. He's done for the day.

I don't need no eggs!

Who said fox need eggs?
I don't need no eggs.

I don't need eggs.
I don't need--

I need eggs!

[yelling]

[panting]

Huh?

That was a really nice pillow.

[groans]

You are stronger than this, Michael.

Try to hold it together.

-[inhales deeply]
-[relaxing music plays]

[exhales]

[inhales]

[exhales]

[inhales and exhales]

Now's our chance.

Stay here.

T-W-B! Teamwork buddies.

No.

[squawks]

He's under a lot of stress right now.

[Michael on recording]
Greetings, self.

It's time to list our simple truths.

Corn is...

delicious.

Corn...

is...

delicious.

[thuds]

-[laughs]
-[Michael on recording] Again. Corn...

is...

del--

[screams]
I love eggs!

I love eggs!

-[Michael screams on recording]
-[screams]

[exclaims in fear]

[Michael on recording] Shh, shh.
Hey, hey. No, you don't.

No, I don't.

[panting]

[Michael on recording]
Keep it together, Michael.

You're strong. You're calm.

You're an egg-free warrior.

I am an egg-free warrior.

[sighs]

[whispering]
This is very soothing.

-[grumbles]
-Whoa!

I told you to stay outside.

I know I was supposed to stay outside
and not make inspirational speeches,

but you and I are responsible
for that Chickeraffe out there,

and like it or not, he's depending on us
to get that tie off that fox.

We can do this.
We have to do this.

Because you were right.
We're not a team.

Finally, you see.

We're a family.

End of inspirational speech.

Fine. What's the plan?

[Michael on recording]
What is nature? What is nurture?

I don't know.
That's why I call it "not-sure".

-Stop that!
-[growls]

[Michael on recording]
Stop thinking about eggs!

-[sighs]
-[recording] You can do this, Michael.

[recording distorting]

-[recording stops]
-[both] Huh?

[growling]

[screaming]

[groaning]

No one is removing your tie right now.

No one is removing my tie right now.

You're relaxed.

You're in your happy place.

Just you and Sandra on your date.

Just me and Sandra on our date.

Listening to the smoothest
of smooth jazz.

[Sam humming jazz tune]

[Michael humming jazz tune]

[Guy]
Huh?

[Michael and Sam continue
humming jazz tune]

[grumbles]

[Michael and Sam continue
humming jazz tune]

There aren't two people in your house,
taking your necktie.

There aren't two people in my house,

taking my necktie.

Let's get out of here.

[Mr. Jenkins purring]

Ooh, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa.

You were right, Sam.

We are a sort of family.

And you can't choose your family
or really even leave them.

You're just stuck with them forever.

So, in the end...

it's easier to just surrender

and let them stick around.

You said it.

And it's a good thing
I did let you hang around,

because we're a great team.

You're the brains.

Dare I say, I'm the other brains. Yep.

All it takes is a dash of Sam,
a pinch of Guy.

Throw 'em together,
and what do you get?

A recipe for success.

[gasps]
Quiche Lorraine.

Whoa!

For the record, I did not mean to do that.

[growling]

How are you hungry right now?

What?

Your stomach. It's--

Namaste?

♪ Hey, guitar player ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ New York's number-one cut creator ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Hey, speed skater ♪

♪ T-t-t-t-take a right ♪

♪ Let's put an ad in the papers ♪

♪ Uh ♪

♪ Backflip ♪

♪ You know what to do ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Backflip ♪

♪ You know what to do ♪

♪ Ooh, let your freak flag fly ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Watch me backflip ♪

♪ Let me work my magic ♪
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