01x18 - Rumble in the Jungle

[bunniefuu]

This is me, eliza thornberry.

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom
and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin?
He found us.

( Jabbering )

Oh, yeah, about our house--
it moves.

'Cause we travel
all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts
his nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

( Panting )

And between you and me

Something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

[Captioning sponsored by the
u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon]

( Screeching )

( Macaques calling )

( Moans )

( Babbles )

( Moans )

Marianne:
I don't know

What you can do, nigel.

The air conditioner

Hasn't worked
in weeks.

True, if you take things
at face value

But I've been thinking about
that faith healer

We saw in kathmandu--

Fixed my watch just by waving
his hands.

( Chanting a spell )

Mom, look!

( Screeching )

( Brakes screech )

( Macaques chattering )

( Thumping )

Great, it's
raining monkeys.

( Grunting )

Splendid!

Marianne, you found a campsite.

Come on, those macaques
are up to something.

Oh, macaques always are.

No, I'd rather go...

Okay, see you.

For a swim instead.

Oh...

( Yelps )

( Babbling )

( Babbling )

Boing, boing,
boing, boing.

Hello, is anybody out there?

( Grunting )

( Screeches )

( Screams )

( Screeching )

( Whimpering )

I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to frighten you.

I thought... I thought you were
one of them.

Them who?

The others...

The others!

( Animals screeching
and hooting )

( Chatters )

( Groans )

( Yelps )

( Donnie jabbering,
macaque screams )

( Darwin groaning )

( Macaque chatters )

( Chattering )

( Grunting )

( Screeching )

Ah!

( Jabbering )

( Both chattering )

( Screeching )

( Babbling )

Mom, do you think next time
we could go someplace cooler

Like the sun?

Debbie, I bet
setting up chairs

Would take your mind
off the heat.

( Groans in exasperation )

You're right, it did.

Thanks, mom.

Hey, isn't today
your anniversary?

Shh! Your father might hear.

His last five
anniversary surprises

Put me in the hospital.

Whoa, love hurts.

This year he might have
forgotten.

He doesn't have
that twinkle in his eye

That means he's up to something.

I've powered up the generator

Prepared a smashing platter
of cold meats for the children

And radioed an air-conditioner
repair shop in brunei.

Am I forgetting anything?

No, nothing at all.

Everything's remembered.

Excellent!

Whew!

Well, then, let's go!

Go? Where?

( Chuckles )

You didn't think
I'd forget our
anniversary

Did you, poppet?

Well, i, uh, hoped... Not.

We'd better be off.

I don't want to reveal
the surprise

But I think you'll be pleased.

By the way,
are you wearing
sturdy shoes?

Get on the short-wave

And see if there's a hospital
nearby, just in case.

So, wait a minute.

Who are these "others?"

Oh, they're bad, bad, bad, bad!

Like how bad?

For one thing, you cross
the creek, and pow!

Lights out, no mercy, ka-bang!

It's bad.

Wow! They sound
really, uh... Bad.

( Hooting )

( Chattering )

( Hooting )

( Chattering and howling )

( Chattering )

( Hooting )

( Screeches )

Well, the jungle was
a nice place

Till they came along--
ruined everything.

They stink.

( Sniffs in disdain )

They got bugs in their fur
the size of parrots.

Voice:
and did you mention

They were bad?

Covered that already.

( Screeches )

( Gasps )

( Chatters )

( Screeching and chattering )

( Chattering )

But I don't
understand, macs.

Why do these others
hate you so much?

I don't know.

They just do.

We stay here on our side
of the creek

Living our lives
in constant fear.

That's terrible.

Nobody should push you around;
trust me.

But we're just a bunch
of little macaques.

No, you're not.

You're a bunch of little
macaques and me

One slightly taller girl.

( Murmuring in admiration )

What will you do?

Don't worry.

I'll take care of this.

( Collective gasp )

No one has ever stood up
to them.

Well, I'm not no one.

There's just too many of them!

Maybe I can get
some help.

( Jabbering )

( Both gasp )

Darwin, I need your help.

I've got my own problems.

I met a bunch of macaques.

And they're bullied.

By the others.

They're afraid
to do anything.

There are
too many others.

That's what mine said!

I bet if your friends
and my friends stand
up together

We can do
something about this.

My macaques and I are
going down to the creek
to face the others.

The creek?

Yeah, why?

Mine are on the way there.

Catch up to them
and tell them to join us.

Oh, I'll figure out
something to tell mom and dad.

( Both slurping )

Where's mom and dad?

It's their anniversary!

Did mom go to the hospital?

Not yet, but I have
a chopper waiting.

Cool.

Cool... I wish.

This is very sweet of you,
nigel

But maybe we should just have
a quiet anniversary at home.

Oh, no, darling.

Where's the romance
in that?

We wouldn't have had
half the fun

If we'd done that
last year.

The moonlight cruise
on the ganges?

Mmm, a spectacular
night.

I fell overboard.

Well, yes,
of course, darling.

But wasn't the water
bracing?

And the champagne brunch
on kilimanjaro?

Oh, yes, we had
the world at our feet.

Until the champagne pop
started that avalanche.

A fantastic sight.

And the rescue dogs
that found us--

The friendliest chaps
I've ever met.

They bit me.

And what about the picnic
atop the pyramids

Where I broke my leg after
slipping on the pate?

Oh, wasn't the view
from the medical
chopper sensational?

I don't know.

I was unconscious.

( Humming )

Dearest, better hurry!

( Screams )

( Grunting )

I guess we'll take
the shortcut home.

Eliza:
tonight we put an end
to living in fear!

Tonight we say, "I can cross
any creek I want to!"

Tonight we take on the others!

Are you with me?!

( Monkeys chattering wildly )

They won't have any macaques
to kick around anymore!

( Chattering wildly )

And we're going to stand up
to them together!

Eh, we thought you'd
stand up to them.

( All agree )

Me?

We elected you
as our champion

While you were gone.

Gee, guys, I don't know.

But you're the biggest.

I guess I am pretty strong.

So you'll do it?

You're our champion?

To the creek!

( Macaques screeching loudly )

( Squawking )

( Macaques shriek excitedly )

( Grunts )

( Chatters )

( Shrieking excitedly )

( Laughs nervously )

( Yells )

( Muttering ):
donnie!

( Babbles, twitters )

( Babbles )

Ow!

( Macaques whooping )

( Screeching )

( Squawks )

( Whoops )

( Screeching )

( Squawking )

( Screeching )

Both:
the others!

The others!

Charge!

( Screeching )

( Squawking )

( Macaques screeching )

( Screaming and screeching )

The others!
The others!

Darwin?

Eliza?

Where are
the others?

There.

Can't you see?

The hideous,
monsterly others!

Wait a minute.

How can they
be the others?

They look
just like you.

( All gasp )

( All gasp )

We look like them?
Are you kidding?

Look at our tails.

( Squawking )

Efficient,
handsome, short.

Now, look at
their... Tails.

Hey, watch your
mouth, stubby!

Worm tail!

( Hissing and growling )

This is about tails?

Yes!
Yes!

And now
the mighty darwin

Is going to crush
you like a bug!

The mighty darwin?

The name was their idea.

Well, our
champion's

Going
to rip yours
to shreds!

Fight,
champion!

Go, mighty
darwin!

Now, listen up.

Darwin and I
are friends.

That's right.

This has all been
a big mistake.

You're friends, but we're not.

We've hated them forever.

Oh, yeah?

We've hated you
longer than that.

So fight.

You're our champion!

Yeah, fight already!

( Gasps )

( Yelps )

( Screeching and shrieking )

Hey, stop!

Darwin and I
won't fight

Because, uh...
What's that going to prove?

Nothing! Except that
I'm stronger than darwin.

( Shrieking wildly )

You're what?

We'll settle this

Once and for all

In... In the battle
to end all battles!

Eliza, do you know
what you're doing?

Winner take all,
loser leave town.

( Screeching )

Stop! Not now, not yet.

Today when the sun is... There.

Don't worry,
I have a plan

That'll make
you unbeatable.

( Squawking )

What was that about?

Tell the macaques
that you have
a secret plan.

Oh!

( Squawking )

( Jabbering )

Meet me in the clearing
in ten minutes.

( Yowls )

Come on,
mighty darwin.

Let's go!

Wait, what's the secret?

( Quietly ):
I don't have a plan!

( Quietly ):
darwin! Darwin, are you here?

I had to sneak away.

They wanted to teach me
their battle dance.

( Screeching in distance )

Whoa! They're
out of control!

Look at them-- tails wagging,
tails not wagging.

Yeah, if they didn't have
those stupid tails!

Hey, wait a minute.

Come on, darwin.

( Frets )

Marianne:
nigel...

I thought you
were taking me

To see the sunset
from mount kinabalu.

( Laughing heartily ):
goodness, no, darling.

Did I fool you?

I was playacting.

What I have planned is
far more spectacular!

Oh!

( Hissing )

( Grunts )

And probably more dangerous.

Yes.

Aren't our anniversary
adventures

So much like
marriage itself?

Journeys too dangerous
to be undertaken alone;

Yet within the watchful
eyes of a caring partner

Safe as the bank
of england.

Hurry, darwin.

We need more coconuts.

I'm trying.

What, do you think
they grow on trees?

Oh, never mind.

( Whooping )

Heads up!

( Gasps )

One secret plan coming up.

( Groans )

( Screaming )

( Grunting )

( Growling ):
oh, donnie!

Ta-dah!

What do you think?

We're not hungry.

No, this is it--
the secret plan.

Coconuts?

Body armor-- try it on.

( Grumbling )

( Whining ):
ooh, I don't like this.

It's not exactly
high fashion

But it will...
Protect you.

Hey, I didn't feel a thing.

( Titters ):
this is all right.

It's like being a turtle
except faster.

( Chirps )

It's not perfect

But you can fight

And they can't touch you.

You can't lose.

( Squawking excitedly )

( Jabbers )

( Squawking )

( Whooping )

( All screeching )

Come on, let's go.

Time to kick
some long tail.

( Squawking )

( Screeching )

Hey!

They stole our secret plan!

Those cheaters!

Will you let them
get away with that?

( Screeching )

( Shrieks )

( Screeching )

( Screeching,
grunting, banging )

( Squawking )

( Grunting )

( Shrieks )

( Shrieks )

( Eliza quavers )

Yeah, not nice.

Are you sure this
was a good idea?

I sure hope so.

( Squawking and whooping slows )

Eliza ( loudly ):
the battle is over.

Whoever is standing,
those macaques are the winners.

Oh, we won!

We won!

Now get out!

Go away and never
bother us again.

( Squawks )

Wait, you're
a short tail?

Yeah, and by the way,
I don't stink.

Maybe everyone else

Should take off
their armor.

( Squawking )

( Quiet groaning )

But I thought
you were them.

See? You aren't
so different.

If it wasn't for your tails
you wouldn't know who to hate.

You guys already
hugged each other.

You might as well
be friends.

Oh, i... I guess
she's right

So, uh... Sorry.

Yeah, me, too.

You... Want to,
um, I don't know

Come over to our side
of the creek for dinner?

Depends.

What are you having?

I don't know.

Fruit,
something light.

Well, what
do you think?

( Squawking peaceably )

Just a little bit
further, marianne.

Oh, nigel...

It's dark, it's late,
it's dangerous.

Let's go back
to the comvee

If we can
even find it.

Almost there,
I promise.

( Angrily ):
I'm serious.

This is really,
really...

( Gasps )

Wow!

Nigel:
ah, the click beetle.

Every firefly
synchronized

With one other
special firefly--

Much the way my life
and everything I do

Revolves around
you, marianne.

Oh, nigel,
that's so sweet.

( Chuckles )

Oh!
Mmm.

( Giggles )

This is the best
anniversary ever.

I even think I felt
the earth move.

I think I did,
too, my darling.

No, really.

I actually did feel
the earth move.

We've stepped
into quicksand.

Isn't it wonderful,
nigel?

Hold on, dearest.

( Grunting )

( Groans, sighs )

Happy anniversary.

Ah!

( Giggles )

What's so funny?

Oh, nothing.

Just the thought of you
being "mighty darwin."

What about you
tearing me to shreds?

( Both chuckling )

I'm glad
we're friends.

So am i.

Good thing,
because I would've

Really kicked your
butt in that creek.

Oh, you would, would you?

Yeah, just like

I'm going
to b*at you back
to the comvee!

You... What?

W-wait!

No fair, you got a head start!

( Eliza giggling )