02x15 - Show Me the Bunny

[bunniefuu]

This is me, eliza thornberry.

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom,
and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin?
He found us.

( Jabbering )

Oh, yeah, about our house--
it moves.

'Cause we travel
all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts
this nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

( Panting )

And between you and me

Something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

[Captioning sponsored by the
u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon]

( Sniffing )

Huh? Hey... Thanks.

This is where you live?

Isn't it a little small?

Oh, no, it's pretty
big down here.

I'm even thinking
of digging more room.

( Sniffing )

Huh? What's the matter?

( Sniffing )

I thought I heard a stoat.

I didn't hear anything.

What's a stoat sound like?

Sneaky... When one's hunting.

If he gets my scent, that's it--
the end.

You mean once a stoat
starts tracking an animal

Nothing can change its mind?
That's crazy.

I am not budging!

We're camped over there,
so I'll come back.

Come alone.
Clap twice.
Whistle like a bird.

That way
I'll know it's you.

Uh... Sure.

( Sniffing )

( Panting )

Oh... We've been here three days
and there's been no mail.

I've read this t.w. 14 Times.

This issue 15 times...

( Jabbering and laughing )

( Sighs ) and this is all

I have left!

A three-year-old tabloid!

Oh, look, a 99-year-old woman
gave birth to twin
three-headed cows.

( Laughs )
and the father is a chicken.

Smashing! Marianne,
we must remember

To send the proud
parents a card.

How can you
look in the mirror

Knowing you're
culturally depriving me?

It's a struggle.

( Gulping )

Ready to see
some wolverines?

All set, mom.

I mean,
maybe I should stay here.

( Rabbit sniffing
nervously )

Uh... I just remembered
I have a homework assignment.

I don't remember
you mentioning
an assignment.

Well... I forgot it...
Until now, when I remembered it,
so I should stay and do it.

You better go, though--
those wolverines are waiting.

She's right, nigel.

And this is the best
time of day to film them.

Join us
when you're done.

Donnie, debbie...

Up and at 'em.

( Sniffing )

What's the matter?
What are you doing here?

( Sniffing and chattering ):
he found me.

You thought he didn't smell me,
but he did

And I've been running ever since

And I'm getting really tired,
but I can't slow down

Because if I do,
he'll catch me and eat me
and oh, no, I don't want that.

Wait, wait, slow down.

Slow down?

I can't slow down, or he'll...

( Hissing and snarling )

( Shuddering )

( Crying, snarling... )

Rabbit:
help me, eliza!

Darwin, we've got
to do something!

Mmm, these are
really good berries.

Come on!

Man:
fur season is off
to a good start, gaspar.

Yes, it is.

Looks like
it was headed this way.

What's that
down there?

Tracks.

They're looking pretty fresh.
Come.

I'm coming.

They must be close.

( Gasps )

He's not even looking
at the other rabbits.

( Sniffing )

Where is she?

Show me the bunny!

( Teeth chattering )

Aha!

Coming through, make a hole,
step aside.

( Gasps )

( Snarls )

( Whimpering )

Eliza:
gotcha!

Eliza... Been running
for days... So tired.

It's okay,
you're safe with me now.

Come on, let's get you
back to camp.

( Groaning )

Dinner shouldn't be this hard.

Ooh... Oh.

( Jabbering )

Debbie:
"finland's
alien connection."

( Gasps )

No way!

Way! Way!

Ooh! Way! Way! Ooh!
Way! Ooh!

Donnie seems to
like this spot.

Debra, why don't you
keep an eye on him here

While your mother and
I seek out wolverines.

Great...
I love wolverines.

You do?
Since when?

Uh... Okay...
That sounds good.

"Alien language?"

( Jabbering... )

( Gasps )

Way spooky.

Eliza:
he's probably forgotten
all about you by now.

You don't understand.

The stoat's never
going to stop chasing me

And I can't stay
here forever.

It's all over for me.

( Darwin sneezes )

Oh...
Bless you, dar.

Thank you. ( Sneezes )

Wow, are you okay?

( Sneezes )

I'm falling apart!

Come here and let me
take a look at you.

Ah... Ah...
( Sneezes )

( Continues sneezing... )

( Sniffling )

I wonder if you're allergic
to the rabbit.

Then you'll just have to...
( Sneezes ) get rid of her!

What?! Is he kidding?

I'm completely serious...
( Sneezes )

I can't stop sneezing.

Either she goes... ( Sneezes )
or I do!

Sorry, dar.

Oh... ( Sneezes )

( Sneezing... )

( Sniffling )

( Sneezes )

My family will never
get to pick on my hutch.

I'll never get
that carrot my cousin owes me

And I'll never breed
like a rabbit... Again.

Will you
stop talking

Like the stoat's
already got you?

Relax, nothing's
going to hurt you.

( Clatter )

What's that?

It's probably darwin.

( Gasps )

I'm here for my dinner

And I'm not leaving
until I get it.

( Snarls )

What makes you think

There's a rabbit here?

I've been chasing
that bunny for days.

I know its scent like
the back of my paw.
Now hand it over!

( Bangs on glass )

( Yells, grunts )

I told you, I told you!

He'll never give up!

He's out there,
you're in here.

What can he do?

( Singing )

( Chuckling )

Keep watching, bunny.

And we do this step.

And then we do
this hop over here.

( Laughs )

What the heck...?

( Dazed ):
say... That looks
like fun.

Take me outside...
Eliza.

Stop!

( Grunts angrily )

Oh... Thanks.

He almost got me.

What was that
all about?

The hare stare dance.

We can't resist.

It's gotten a lot of my friends.

I'm... Doomed.

He'll never leave me alone.

Sure he will.

So...

You giving me the rabbit?

( Belches ) nope...

I ate the rabbit.

And it was...
Mm-mm, good.

You... What?

But i... She was...

I chased her for m...

( Sniffing )

You ate it, huh?

Yup, sure did.

Then you won't
mind me looking around inside.

( Thud )

I knew it!

Oh, you can't fool me.

( Chattering )

( Bangs on comvee )

( Gulping )

Eliza:
who is it?!

Who do you think?

It's your best friend.

Prove it.

Oh! ( Chattering )

Sorry, dar, we
can't be too careful.

That stoat's tricky.

Are you okay?

I should make you
some hot chocolate.

( Sneezes )

I don't want hot chocolate.

I want to go back inside.

( Sniffles )

I know, but I can't
just let the hare go.

It needs my help.

What about me?

Give the stoat
what he wants

And let me come
inside.

Maybe you're
right, dar.

You know, if that
stoat wants a rabbit

We'll give him
a rabbit.

( Chattering ):
s-say that again.

( Rabbit panting and grunting )

What are you doing?

What's the big idea?

( Sniffs )

Great...
It smells just like you.

So?

So...

Stoat's not the
only one around
here who's sneaky.

( Sniffs )

( Door creaks )

Huh?

That's it, you dumb rabbit!

All you do is complain.

If you're going to be
that kind of rabbit

Why don't you just
get out of here?!

Here... I'll help!

( Sniffing and growling )

( Snarls )

Yes!

I chase rabbits

I eat rabbits

And this is no rabbit!

Gotcha!

( Gasps )

( Banging and yelling )

I can feel it...
We are very, very close.

Good.

( Banging and yelling... )

Get away from her!

( Screaming )

( Eliza screams )
get away from her!

( Hissing )

Oh, no!

Get over here!

Darwin, the door!

Ow, that hurts!

Oh... Ouch!

( Darwin sneezing... )

Had to pick that rabbit,
didn't you?

( Donnie jabbering excitedly )

Debbie:
"scientists haven't deciphered

The strange carvings,
but suspect it might be
an alien language."

What would aliens write?

Uh... "Venus rules?"

Uh... "Honk if you
love martians?"

( Gasps ) whoa...

Donnie...

Hey, donnie...

( Grunting... )

Donnie... ( Echoes )

Donnie! ( Echoes )

Donnie!! ( Echoes )

( Gasps )

Uh... Didn't mean to stand
in your parking place.

Donnie...?

I can't take much more of this.

Me, neither.
Nothing stops that thing.

His fur changed color
for the winter... I'm saved!

That's right...
In the winter

Stoats become ermines

And ermines
are hunted for their fur!

Man:
got it!

( Screeching and snarling )

( Laughing )

That's unfair...
Let him go!

Wave good-bye,
little girl.

Next time you see this ermine,
he'll be somebody's coat!

( Snickering )

Stoat:
help...!

Now, this is more like it.

Wait...

What are you doing?!

I'm going to save
the stoat.

After he tried
to catch me?!

He doesn't deserve
to be made into
a coat!

I'm not asking you
to go with us.
You can stay here.

Darn right I'm staying here.

You think I want those hunters
to get me?

Darwin:
I'm safe, right?

They don't make chimps
into coats, do they?

( Men laughing )

Hey, look at him!

( Screeching )

( Men laughing )

Hey, don't waste
our food on him.

He's going to be
a sleeve soon.

( Both laugh )

( Panting )

Hurry, hurry!

( Panting )

Shh! I'm trying.

( Tent flap unzips )

Hey!

( Gasping nervously... )

Gaspar,
come quick!

Eliza:
run!

( Screeching and panting )

Come, hurry up!

They're getting away!

I'm coming
as fast as I can!

I will go around
this way!

( Panting )

Come on, we have to
get away from here!

You go that way,
I go this way.

Over here, over here!

( Yelling and grunting )

( Darwin screeching )

( Sniffing )

You brought the hunters
back here?!

A rabbit!
Gaspar, get it!

He'll make someone
a nice vest.

Ja, ja, good.

Whoa...!

Eliza:
we're tipping over!

( Eliza screams )

Man:
hey!

We're not going to
hurt you, little girl.

Just the animals!

We got to get
to that hunk of ice!

Come on, we got to get
to the other side of the cove!

( Panting )

Whoa...

Man:
come on, let's go!

Faster, dar, faster!

( Chattering )

Look, it's
a dead end!

Eliza... What are
we going to do?

Man:
you can't run

Forever!

( Gasps )

( Splash, gaspar yells )

( Panting )

Come on, come on!

Don't give up--
come on!

All right--
we're almost there.

We're going to get
our furs!

I like my fur--
I don't want to lose it.

Me, either!

Oh... Get away
from us, you creep.

Get away from us,
you creep!

( Laughing )

One good tug
and then...

It's ermine
season.

( Laughing )

( Snickers )

( Men yell )

Yes! Let's go!

We made it!

Yeah... We're way
ahead of them now!

Who would have thought a hare
and a stoat could work together?

( Sniffing )

( Slurping )

Yeah... And the rabbit
still smells delicious.

( Screams )

Wait!

Debbie:
donnie...?

Donnie!?

Donnie?

D... Donnie?

( Gasps )

Oh... Oh, man.

Oh, man, aliens got donnie.

Mom, dad, you got to help me.

Oh... Mom... Dad...

Oh... Keep it together, deb.

No... Great news.

There is life on other planets.

Keep it together, deb.

No... Oh, say, you know how the
comvee used to seem so crowded?

( Voices murmuring )

Oh, thank goodness.

Nigel:
lord nelson's trousers,
marianne, look!

Marianne:
my goodness, nigel, I've
never seen anything like them.

( Gasps )

( Panting )

Like what...

Huh? Like what?

Nigel:
hurry, marianne,
for heaven's sake, hurry!

Oh! Mom, dad!

Where are you?

( Panting )

( Growling )

( Yelling )

( Thud )

( Groaning )

( Zapping, roaring )

Eh...

( Jabbering )

( Jabbering echoes )

Ah! Donnie!

( Shudders )

Oh...!

Mom!

Dad! Oh...

( Distorted voice )

( Jabbering )

( Distorted ):
debbie...

Ooh...

Ooh... Mom!

( Gasping )

( Donnie jabbering... )

( Gasps )

Hi... Ya!

Donnie.

Mom, ah!
Dad!

Where have you been?

Your mother and I
spotted a mated pair
of wolverines.

Shockingly rare.

But our flashlight
went on the blink...

( Chuckles )
so to speak.

Marianne:
debbie, are you
all right?

I... It's just...
Donnie was gone

And then I saw the alien writing
on the rocks and then...

This spaceship showed up,
and i, uh... Yeah.

( Marianne laughs )

Alien writing?

These were made by old samis.

They're instructions
on when to see the aurora
borealis every year.

Um... I knew that.

( Slurping and sneezing )

( Sneezes )

I watched them
for hours

And nothing stopped
the stoat.

Not mud bogs,
not hunters, nothing.

I think he's still chasing
that poor hare.

Stoats have
chased hares

Since the dawn of
nature, poppet.

For them, it's perfectly normal.
Business as usual.

( Darwin sneezes )

( Sneezing... )

Oh... Oh, no...

( Sneezes )

I thought with the rabbit gone,
I'd get better.

Hey, I bet you were
allergic to these all along.

( Jabbering... )

( Jabbering )

Donnie,
I am warning you:

I am this close
to taking you...

( Jabbering musically )

Oh, that is it,
asteroid breath.

I am going to
send you back

To saturn,
where you belong!

( Donnie laughing )

Debbie:
come over here,
you little...

Should we
break that up?

Oh, I don't
think so,
lovey...

Like eliza's
stoat and hare

I'd say they're behaving
quite naturally.

I'm going
to get you!

Yup...
Business as usual.

( Donnie laughing,
debbie yelling... )

Darwin:
oh, no... ( Sneezes )