02x10 - The Mom Who Loved Me

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Green Eggs and Ham". Aired: November 8, 2019 – April 8, 2022.*
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Animated comedy adventure series loosely based on the 1960 Dr. Seuss book of the same title.
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02x10 - The Mom Who Loved Me

Post by bunniefuu »

[orchestral pop theme song playing]

♪ A secret story
Somewhere in time ♪

♪ An unsolved mystery
Playing in your mind ♪

♪ A time for action
A fire we must light ♪

♪ A new beginning
A tale we must write ♪

♪ So come with me
It's now or never ♪

♪ So come with me
Let's do this together ♪

♪ Come with me
On this adventure ♪

♪ Come with me ♪
♪ Let this last forever ♪

♪ So come with me ♪

[tense music playing]

[narrator] Uh, okay, what is going on?

Pam's on the wrong side,

and Guy and Michellee
have nowhere to hide!

-[Michellee] Hmm?
-What are you doing here?

Stopping you and your w*apon.

[narrator] She's not taking out Sam!

Pam chose Mission Mom!

Her real plan was to come here
and dismantle Guy's b*mb!

Uh, who is she?

Where's Sam?

You ditched him already?

Okay, Sam's mom. Got it.

Actually, he ditched me.

The kid's smarter than I thought.

I'm stopping you.

Well, you're too late.
Someone's already stopping me.

Oh yeah? Who?

-Me!
-Walvark droppings.

I mean it!

Get out of my way.

No! Now get out of here before
the Zooks find you and blow my whole plan.

[both grunting]

[Guy chuckles] Whoo. A-ha!

Huh?

[dramatic music playing]

[crane whirring]

[grunts, groans]

You do not want this fight.

I'll take my chances.

Whoa. Huh? Ugh!

I'm doing this for Sam, you smuntz!

You and your Moo-Lacka-Moo
caused this whole crisis.

You turned my own son against me.

Why should I believe anything you say?

-I'm no smuntz, lady.
-Ah!

You work for the Yooks.

You just wanna sabotage my invention.

Wait. I thought you wanted
your invention to be sabotaged.

Ah! Oh! Ugh!

Why would you unmake something
you made in the first place?

Because I didn't mean to make a w*apon.

-[clicks]
-[Guy yelps]

Oh!

[sighs]

-Stop! Stop!
-Look out!

-Stop!
-[tires screech]

[machinery powering down]

Now what?

Hi. I'm Michellee, by the way. Guy's wife.

We met earlier by the door.

Heard a lot about you, Pam.

Not all of it great, but you know.

Anyway, Guy is telling the truth.

He is trying to unmake the w*apon.

If you'd seen any of Guy's
other inventions, you'd know they all--

[yelps] Oh!

Uh-oh. [groans]

Guy. [moans]

He's coming, Guy.

[panting] Right, the baby. Wink.

Please, faking labor as a distraction?

I'm not! [shrieks]

I'm not faking!

I'm really in labor!

-[Michellee screams]
-[both gasp]

I'm sold.

It's happening!

[Sam grunting]

[narrator] Sam's got troubles of his own ,
right over the wall,

vying with Trousers
for the world's most dangerous ball.

Trousers! Let go of the Moo-Lacka-Moo!

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Actually, yes! Very much!
Thanks for understanding, Phil!

Understanding?

Ask anyone in the spy trade,
I understand nothing!

[both grunt]

Let go! I'm warning you!

No, I'm warning you.

And here it is.

Warning! Just warned you. Oof.

Ja warned!

[grunts] It's too bad
Mommy isn't here to save you.

-[grunts]
-Oh!

-[gasps]
-[groans]

No!

-[gasps]
-Ah!

Huh?

[air whooshing]

Well, that sucks.

The baby's coming now?

Gah! What do we do! What do we… Gah!

Guy, pull it together.

There's one person
in this room having a baby,

and I haven't heard
a single "gah" out of her.

Right. Right. No, no, no, you're right.

Whoo! [exhales]

Thanks.

-[snaps fingers]
-It's for her.

-[huffing]
-Michellee…

I once helped deliver triplets
in a snowstorm in New Zalamakoo.

Trust me, you're gonna be fine.

Are you sure?

You've got this,
and I'm right here with you.

Look, I know why you don't trust me.

I haven't always been the best mom to Sam.

[clears throat]

Or been his mom at all.

But I am his mother.

And now that Sam's back in my life,
I won't let him down again.

Being a parent changes you
in ways you could never imagine.

Sam sees the best in me.

Even when I can't see it in myself.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

So if Sam were here right now,
what would he tell us to do?

He'd say to trust each other

because together, maybe we can save the--

Gah!

She's "gah"-ing!

Just breathe.

Now you go dismantle your w*apon.

I'm gonna help your wife
deliver this baby.

-[loud bang]
-[all gasp]

[tense music playing]

The Yook spy!

After I fight these clowns.

You with me?

Pam, take the wheel.

Whatever happens, you defuse that w*apon.

Just be careful with my wife!

[pumping]

[clicks]

Seize her!

[Guy straining]

[guards mumbling]

-Just breathe.
-[huffing]

Gah!

[guards gasp]

-[yells] Gah!
-[guards groaning, yelling]

Was that a labor pain,
or just you being fierce?

Little bit of both.

Nice.

[guards screaming]

[Michellee yelling]

[guards grunting, groaning]

-[whimpering] I… I…
-[guards grunting]

-[guard] Ah!
-I… I can't watch!

Eee!

[groans]

[Guy grunting] Ugh!

Ah.

-[sparking]
-[powering up]

Why am I so good at making bad inventions?

-[gasps]
-[metal clangs]

Dookess, you can't do this!

Of course I can.

You don't become a dookess without
a Class-A Crane Operator's license.

[gasps]

[buzzing]

[automated voice]
Launch protocol initiated.

Five minutes to get the yip outta here.

[dramatic music playing]

-[Guy] Ah!
-[screams] No, Guy!

What have you done?

Saved all our lives.

You're wrong!

[Guy whimpering]

[narrator] Everyone, run!
Take cover, it's your only choice!

I wish I could help,
but I'm a disembodied voice!

Ugh!

[narrator] But E.B. can do something.

[grunts]

[narrator] Her role is profound.

[automated voice] Four minutes to launch.

[narrator] She's gotta get
all of those Zooks underground.

[whooshing]

[straining]

Oh. Hello again, gorgeous.

[straining]

Huh?

Stop touching the suit.

Well, looks like
this suit was tailor-made…

for failure!

I'd rather die in a custom-made suit…

Ooh, ah!

…than live in something off the rack!

[straining]

Ugh! Oh!

No!

We're gonna die!

Oh!

[chuckles] Well done, Sam.

Ah! Please, Mr. Dooka Man,
you don't have to do this!

[doors whirring]

My friends are in Zookia--

And my family is in Yookia.

This is the only way
to ensure they grow up in peace.

[steam hisses]

[whimpers]

No!

What?

[Sam yelling]

Oof.

No.

[grunts]

[straining]

[alarm buzzes]

[straining]

[deep breath]

[engine roars]

[Sam screams]

[alarm blaring]

E.B.

[alarm blaring]

Oh no.

[automated voice]
Attention, enemy rocket approaching.

We have to launch now!

[automated voice] Cutting to the chase.

Thirty seconds to launch.

[narrator] Pam's baby is in danger
on that Moo-Lacka-Moo.

[gasps]

[narrator] There's only
one thing left for this mom to do.

-[sighs]
-Guy! Throw me the rope!

Are you crazy?

Sam's on that rocket! I have to save him.

-Please!
-There's no time!

[Michellee] Do it, Guy!

She's his mother!

Let her go!

[automated voice]
Twenty seconds, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15,

14, 13, 12, 11, ten…

-Good luck.
- Thanks.

Whoa! Ah!

[sighs]

[automated voice] …four, three, two, one.

Launching rocket.

[dramatic music playing]

Whoa.

[Pam] Sam!

Mom?

What are you doing up here?

What I should have done
in the first place!

Riding a rocket?

The right thing!

I was so happy to have you back, Sam,
I didn't want to lose you again.

Luckily, no thanks to me, you turned out
to be a wonderful young man

who's willing to sacrifice everything
to save his friends!

Just like you did for me
all those years ago.

You saved my life!

And I'm about to do it again.

I need you to jump off
that flying warhead!

Such a mom thing to say.

Get ready to jump.

I'm scared, Mom!

Don't worry! I'll catch you!

[uplifting music playing]

[Sam] Oh…

Woo!

Oh, motherhood.

There's nothing more beautiful.

[yelling] Gah!

[narrator] Oh no! Everyone's a goner.

Farewell, dear friends.
Narrating you's been an honor.

[gasps]

No!

[expl*si*n]

-[gasps]
-[both scream]

-[gasps]
-[gasps]

[whimpering]

[gasps]

[shimmering]

[gasps] Look at that.

Ha! An anti-w*apon.

You did it! You saved them
from the Moo-Lacka-Moo!

With a little leftover piece
of Goo-Lacka-Goo.

[narrator] And not a second too soon.
I mean, seriously. Phew!

Figured it might come in handy.

Moms keep everything in their purse.

-[sizzling]
-[blows]

I love you, Sam.

[narrator] Sam had searched
for his mother year after year,

not for green eggs,

but these words which he needed to hear.

["Strangers" by The Kinks playing]

♪ Where are you going, I don't mind ♪

♪ I've k*lled my world
And I've k*lled my time ♪

♪ So where do I go? What will I see..? ♪

Well, hello there, handsome.

Ah!

-Huh.
-[Goo-Lacka-Goo bubbling]

[Philip muffled] Blouse! Thank goodness!

Get me out of here.
My suit is incredibly wrinkled.

[kisses, blows] Goodbye, Philip.

[Philip yells]

No!

♪ If your offered hand
Is still open to me… ♪

Look!

It's gone.

♪ We are not two, we are one… ♪

[narrator] The Yooks and the Zooks
are no longer divided.

But what to do next
has not yet been decided.

[giggling]

Don't.

[man] They can't be trusted!

[E.B.] It's okay!

[crowd gasps]

No, don't believe her!

It's a Zook trick!

[E.B. gasps]

[narrator] Though it's in ruins,
barely standing at all,

they kept their promise
to meet at their spot on the wall.

[crowd gasping]

You hungry?

[laughs] Starving.

[narrator] One buttered up, one down.

[gasping]

[loud gasps]

[narrator] And with a hand twitch,
put their pieces together.

It's a butter sandwich.

[crowd murmuring]

[Dooka] Looka!

-This isn't over!
-[crowd gasps]

That's right!
Now give me that abomination!

-Get your slippery fingers off! Get it--
-Get your--

-[both grunt]
-[crowd gasps]

[narrator] They glared at each other
with their faces all scowled,

when at the same time,
both their stomachs straight growled.

-I can't… Hmm…
-[stomach growls]

It's not right.

Well, how do you know?

Unless you try it?

Ugh.

[crowd murmuring indistinctly]

[crowd gasps]

[gasping]

[woman] What have you done?

[Dookess] Mmm.

-Mm.
-Not bad.

[both gasp excitedly]

A toast!

-[laughs] To a fresh start!
-[crowd cheers]

[both laugh]

Yeah!

[narrator] And at that moment,
the Yook-Zook future turned brighter.

Up is right, and down is right.

But together is righter.

Mmm-mm!

And here are the criminals
responsible for your w*r!

[scoffs] A bunch of cows?

Yes. Since way back in Episode 1,
I've known something didn't smell right.

[moos]

Oh, that cow looks suspicious.

I'm gonna go interrogate it.

[laughs]

A shadowy cow-tel was at work.

[glass shattering]

-[gasps]
-[cow moos]

Hmm…

[gasps]

Hmm.

Ugh.

[guard 1] Argh! Oof!

[moos]

-[guard 1 moans]
-Hey, what are you doing?

[guard 1] I didn't do anything!

[Gluntz] Churning up tensions
between your nations.

Oh!

[yelps]

[moos]

[moos]

[Gluntz] These fat cows
skimmed off the top

and gave it to the two percent.

All in the name of profit margarines.

Shame, shame, shame!

[bell clangs]

Shame, shame, shame!

[clangs]

[woman coughs]

Shame?

Ah! It was all fake moos!

[both chuckle]

All right, let's round up this evil herd

and take them into custard-y.

[both laugh]

[Sam] Incoming!

Oh my gosh! Sam!

Uh-oh! Watch out! Coming in hot!

Woo! [laughs]

And Pam! My spy-dol! You saved us!

So did you, E.B.

By the way, has anyone ever told you
that you'd make a fine spy one day?

Oh, really? That's awesome!

From this day forward, I hereby
dedicate my life to becoming a spy.

Not a chance!

-[gasps]
-[emotional music playing]

[Guy and Michellee] Aw. [chuckle]

-[baby coos]
-[E.B. gasps]

Hello, my little brother.

-[coos]
-Oh!

-[Guy chuckles]
-Aw.

Is this baby Sam?

[gurgles]

Uh…

[chuckles] Guy Junior.

[Guy Jr. coos happily]

I've always liked that name.

[coos]

Oh, hello, hello! [giggles]

You know, Pam I-Am,
you really are a great parent.

And you're a great friend.

Thank you for always
being there for my son.

All of you.

So, does this mean
you're sticking around this time, Mom?

I am, Sam.

Sam, I am.

[indistinct chatter]

[narrator] Now for
the quick wrap-up scenes,

when your show's almost outta time.

Also called an epilogue,
but that word's really hard to rhyme.

[patrons chattering]

[narrator] Don't forget our heroes.
Back in Glurfsburg, safe and sound.

Not a bad guy, plot twist,
or spy mission to be found.

Yeah, this place is dull as ever.

No international intrigue,
no terrifying brushes with death. Lame!

Well, I still can't wait to visit.

You're gonna give me
that tour you promised, right?

[sighs] You're gonna be so bored.

I can't wait.

E.B., this phone bill is outrageous!

Sorry, Guy, but
eight-hour calls to Ookia ain't cheap.

[grumbles]

-[Guy Jr. coos]
-Don't worry, Guy.

The new Inventionarium is a hit.

[machine whirring]

[narrator] Look at that. No expl*si*n
from Guy's original thingamadoo!

Thanks to a gift from Pam,
some Goo-Lacka-Goo!

[sniffing]

Mmm.

Mwah!

Here, Mom, try them.

[anticipative music playing]

Hmm.

So, do you like them?

[swallows]

No.

I love them.

[joyous music playing]

Yes! She loves it! Whoo!

Oh, that is good news. [laughs]

[orchestral pop theme song playing]

[woman vocalizing]
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