06x03 - Passion’s Harvest and a Sheldocracy

Episode Transcripts for the TV show "Young Sheldon." Aired September 2017 - current.*
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It's 1989, Sheldon Cooper is nine years old, living in East Texas and going to high school after skipping 4 grade levels. Spin-off prequel to The Big Bang Theory
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06x03 - Passion’s Harvest and a Sheldocracy

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Young Sheldon...

What is happening to our family?

Mom, getting kicked out of the church.

Georgie having a baby out of wedlock.

We really are white trash.

But the church is still your family.

I'd just hate to see you
walk away from the Lord.

(sighs) Feels like he's
walking away from me.

You looking for a new church?

Not yet.

'Cause I can see you going Catholic.

You got a "get thee to a nunnery" vibe.

Oh. Mom. Really?

Passion's Harvest?

The main character's name is Passion.

She's inherited her daddy's farm,

and there's a stud in the stable.

Oh, that's terrible.

Read it, then tell
me how terrible it is.

I'm not reading this trash.

So you're literally
judging a book by its cover?

All right.

Fine. I'll give it a look.

How come you've
dog-eared all these pages?

You'll see.

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

Ethically, can science ever go too far?

Just because we can do something,

does that mean we should do something?

Yes.

I haven't finished.

- I'm sorry, go on.
- Ethically,

should science have any limitations?

No.

Interesting.

What about human cloning?

More of me? Yes, please.

Well, what about more of everyone else?

No, thank you.

What about, uh, dinosaurs?

Herbivores, yes. Carnivores, no.

Well, what about the herbivores
who can squash you like a bug?

Good point. No dinosaurs.

- So, cloning is unethical?
- Right.

But what if we were to
clone Albert Einstein?

That would be swell.

At some point, I'm
going to need a sidekick.

So, cloning is ethical?

Right, because Albert
Einstein, unlike the dinosaur,

harmed no one.

I think the victims of the atomic b*mb,

which his discoveries helped
create, might disagree.

So, what's the right answer?

That's why we're here, to find that out.

Why don't you just tell us?

- Why don't you?
- I asked you first.

You're it, no backsies.

(laughs)

(Bo Diddley's "You Can't Judge
a Book By Its Cover" playing)

This is such trash.

♪ You can't judge an apple
by looking at a tree ♪

♪ You can't judge honey
by looking at the bee... ♪

Oh, Passion, not the stable.

That's where the horses
do their business.

♪ You can't judge a book
by looking at the cover ♪

All night long? Who wants that?

- (doorknob jiggles)
- MISSY: Who's in there?

Uh, me.

I'll just be a minute.

MISSY: I really need to go!

It's occupied!

♪ I look like a farmer ♪

♪ But I'm a lover... ♪

I could write a better book than this.

- (doorknob jiggles)
- MISSY: Mom!

(sighs)

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I was at the grocery store and
I picked some things up for you.

Thanks, but I can buy my own groceries.

I know, but you're eating for two.

I thought I should help out.

Three kinds of pickles?

Everybody knows pregnant
ladies like those.

Okay, I'm throwing up enough as it is.

Why is it so dark in there?

No reason.

What's with the candles?
Are you on a date?

You think I'd dress like this on a date?

I think you look good.

Well, I don't, and if I was on a date,

it'd be none of your business.

Then why are you sitting in the dark?

Okay. It's not a big deal.

I was a little short on
the power bill this month.

How come?

Well, waiting tables
and morning sickness,

not a great combination.

Definitely got reflected in my tips.

(sighs) Don't worry.

I'll pay to get your
power turned back on.

I'm not a charity case. I
can figure this out on my own.

But you can't even watch TV.

- What kind of life is that?
- It's fine.

I can hear the neighbors fight.
That's almost as good as TV.

Hmm. Well, I'll leave you with this.

There's some ice cream in there.

You might want to make that a priority.

(scoffs) Okay. Good night.

I got you the kind with
three different flavors

'cause I didn't know what you liked.

- Bye.
- It's chocolate, vanilla and pink.

(takes deep breath)

Chapter one.

When Marie stepped into the
bar, she knew she looked good.

But not in a vulgar way,

more for what she didn't
show than what she did.

(George McCrae's "Rock
Your Baby" playing)

♪ ♪

- Well, hello.
- Hi.

- ♪ Woman ♪
- Dusty.

- ♪ Take me in your arms... ♪
- That's not a name.

That's a poorly kept house.

(chuckles)

What's your mother call you?

Dustin.

I like that.

And you are?

- Marie.
- Marie.

What are you drinking, Marie?

A dirty martini.

Really? How dirty?

Very.

Hmm.

♪ And let the loving start. ♪

- Sheldon?
- Dr. Sturgis.

I don't think I can do the assignment.

Why not?

Just pick either side
of any ethical argument

and present it.

But how do I know which
argument to present?

Any one you want.

And how do I know which side to take?

Any side you want.

But I want to take the right side.

Maybe there is no right side.

(groans) This is t*rture,
and that can't be ethical.

There you go! You picked a subject.

And a side.

Oh. Good. t*rture is unethical.

That's clearly the correct position.

I agree.

But what if there's a b*mb

hidden underneath the city

and someone says that the only
way to find out its location

is through t*rture?

Answer that.

Let's see.

Batman plays by Gotham City rules

and would use t*rture,
but Superman's got

those Midwest values.

I hate ethics!

MARY: Haven't seen you here before.

Well, I'm just passing through.

Tonight, I'm here.

Tomorrow, who knows.

Hmm.

Guess we'll have to make
the most of tonight, then.

I guess so.

What do you say...

we get out of here?

What do you have in mind?

I don't know.

I was thinking maybe we take a walk.

You can tell me more about
your hopes and dreams.

What's going on in here...

and all the way down here.

You really want that?

To know who you really are?

There's nothing I want more.

(sighs heavily) Oh, my.

(knocking)

Hi.

Hey. This is a surprise.

Sorry to just drop in.

No. No, it's okay.

Let me just...

Sorry.

The cleaning lady didn't come today.

- Your mother?
- (scoffs) Good one.

So, what's going on?

Um...

So, you know how I said I
had everything under control?

- Yeah.
- Things have changed.

I wasn't just short on the power bill.

I was also short on the rent,

and, uh, now I'm short
on a place to live.

Oh, okay, well, you're
welcome to stay here.

Mi garage, su garage.

- It'd just be for a little while.
- Stay as long as you need.

You got stuff in your
car? Should I go get it?

Yeah, about that, um...

All my stuff's in the apartment
and my landlord padlocked it.

That ain't right.

He said when I pay the
back rent he'll let me in.

Hell with that, I'll go get your stuff.

(scoffs) How are you gonna do that?

Don't you worry about it,
make yourself comfortable.

(softly): Okay.

Oh, you hungry?

You want some SpaghettiOs?

I'm sorry, that was rude.

There's your clean spoon.

(cows mooing)

- Can I change the channel?
- Well, I'm watching this.

I miss when you had a real
job and were gone more.

(cows moo)

Can you two help me with my homework?

Did I hear him right?

Yeah, he asked for help.

- With his schoolwork?
- Yep.

- How long have you known him?
- All my life.

- Has he ever asked for help?
- No.

- Hello.
- Hang on.

Is this some kind of prank?

It's not a prank. I just
need help with my homework.

- Did a bully take it from you?
- No.

Is it real heavy? You
need help lifting it?

No, I need your opinion
on an ethical dilemma.

Should robots have the
same rights as humans?

That depends.

What's "ethical" mean?

(cow moos on TV)

♪ ♪

(grunts softly)

(shotgun clicks)

Don't sh**t! I'm not a robber!

Turn around real slow.

How's this? 'Cause I can go slower.

You picked the wrong
apartment, little man.

Ain't this ?

It's .

I'm in the wrong apartment.

I just said that.

I can explain.

My girlfriend... well, she's
not really my girlfriend,

but she's having my baby.

She got evicted,

and I came to get her stuff.

Are you talking about Mandy?

Yes.

You're the dumb bastard
that knocked her up?

Yes, that's me! Not a
robber, dumb bastard!

Aw, hell.

(sighs) Put your hands down.

I ain't gonna sh**t you.

I saw the padlock on her door.

Yeah, and all her stuff's in there.

I came to get it for her.

I like that girl.

She's a good one.

I agree.

Why don't you marry her?

I'm trying. She don't want to.

So, you think getting her
toothbrush's gonna change that?

Couldn't hurt.

So, what do you say, can I go?

Yeah.

Thank you, sir. Good night, sir.

Sorry to bother you, sir.

- (ladder clattering)
- Nice kid.

(chuckles)

Glad I didn't k*ll him.

♪ ♪

Sometimes I feel like, at my age,

I should have everything
all figured out.

- (scoffs)
- But I don't.

Nobody has it all figured out.

You ever get scared?

Oh, yeah. All the time.

I mean, like right now, I...

(chuckles): I'm scared
you won't like me.

Oh, Dusty.

You don't have to worry about that.

You promise?

With God as my witness.

Well, I hope he's not
watching right now,

'cause I'm about to kiss you.

♪ ♪

GEORGE SR.: What you writing?

Oh. Uh, just making a list of chores

that need to get done.

Well, that doesn't sound like fun.

Well...

one of them is.

(groans) I'll get to the rain gutters.

You just got to...

Mm. Mmm.

What's happening?

Why don't you come to
the bedroom and find out?

Weird day.

MANDY: Did you have any problems

getting into the apartment?

No.

In the right window,
out the right window.

Easy peasy.

You can hang your dresses
and whatnot on the barbell.

Fancy.

So we're clear, uh,

just 'cause we're sleeping together

doesn't mean we're...
"sleeping" together.

I understand.

If you want, you can take the
bed and I'll sleep on the floor.

Oh, I can't ask you to do that.

It's okay. I got a
sleeping bag, and I'm young.

We'll share the bed, just, uh,
keep your hands to yourself.

Works both ways. You keep
your hands to yourself.

I'll manage.

Well, if you find you
can't, that's okay, too.

Hey, uh, what's the bathroom situation?

Oh, I pay rent. You can
use the one in the house.

Good, I was afraid you
were gonna say that sink.

(scoffs)

The sink?

That's kind of gross.

I'll be right back.

(door opens, closes)

Looks like you're just a sink again.

(door closes)

(Mary laughing)

MARY: Oh, George.

GEORGE SR.: Mm, you like that?

MARY: I love that.

GEROGE SR.: How about
we turn the lights off?

MARY: Yes, please.

- (both laughing)
- MARY: Tickles!

Get out. Get out.

What?

I'm using the sink.

Sweet.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

Did someone have a sleepover?

Mandy's gonna be staying
with me for a little bit.

Mm-hmm.

It's not like that.

Didn't say it was.

Go ahead and take a seat, I'll
make you some scrambled eggs.

Since when do you make eggs?

I can make eggs.

(quietly): He can't make eggs.

Actually, my stomach's a little queasy.

How about just some toast?

Great. Toast, I can do.

Good morning, everyone.

Niblingo.

I'm sorry, what?

It's an honorific I came up with to

describe a woman who's carrying
my future niece or nephew

but is not related to me by law.

You remember Sheldon.

I do.

Yeah.

I'm glad you're here.

I have a question about robot ethics

I was hoping you could help me with.

Sheldon, leave her alone.

No, it's okay, he can ask me a question.

I'm his, uh... What am I?

- Niblingo.
- Niblingo. What's your question?

Ethically, should a robot
be programmed to never k*ll,

even if k*lling would save lives?

Where's the dang toaster?

Welcome to breakfast at our house.

- (door opens)
- (entry bell dings)

- (snoring)
- (door closes)

(snoring)

Fire!

What? What? Where? (groans)

You know, thanks for
keeping an eye on things.

Sorry.

I didn't get much sleep.

Oh, you and Mary fighting again?

Oh, no, we're getting along real good.

Okay.

I mean... real good.

- Yeah. I-I said okay.
- (chuckles)

It's like she's a different person.

That reminds me of a film.

A lady fell off a
boat, she hit her head,

and when she woke up, she was
a completely different person.

What's your point?

Did Mary fall off a boat recently?

- Not that I know of.
- Well, you should ask her.

We're not boat people, Dale.

Something strange is
going on in the bedroom.

Uh-huh.

I mean, I'm happy about it.

(chuckles): You know,
it's actually pretty great.

I just...

I don't understand why.

See, now I'm with you there.

When I was married to June,

- she was going through the change.
- Hmm.

She became downright frisky.

I think Mary's a little
young for the change.

Well, you'd think.

Nature's curious.

I went to school with a
kid whose hair turned gray

in the tenth grade.

- We called him Whitey.
- Clever.

He used to buy us liquor.

Oh, anyway,

what I'm saying is that

have the family medic
do a once-over on her.

You know, kick the tires,
see how she's rolling.

Yeah, thanks, Dale.

I tell you my wife wants
to have sex with me,

you tell me she needs to see a doctor.

Well, I'm sorry.

You making a woman hot,
that's completely normal.

(door opens)

Hey.

- Hey.
- (door closes)

I thought you were working.

Oh, I'm on lunch break.

Brought you something to eat.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, I also got you some
ginger ale for your tummy.

Why do you look like you're gonna cry?

(cries): 'Cause I am.

What's wrong?

My whole life.

A year ago, I was a TV
weather girl in San Antonio,

and now I'm living in a
garage with the -year-old

who got me pregnant.

I'll be before you know it.

(crying): But not
before you're a father!

Okay, well, what can I do?

Nothing, you're doing great.

That's how screwed up
my life is right now,

you're the best part of it.

Thank you.

I'm really trying.

I know you are.

It's gonna be okay.

(sniffles) Is it?

(whispers): I peed in
the sink last night.

Trust me, I'll fix this.

MEEMAW: Now, here's the guest room.

Make yourself at home.

Thank you so much.

It's only temporary, I promise.

Oh, no problem.

Stay as long as you need.

Bathroom's right down the hall.

Oh, boy, a bathroom.

I'll go get the rest of your stuff.

Thank you.

Question about your TV...

- I want it.
- Gotcha.

SHELDON: I started working
on this presentation

to address specific ethical dilemmas.

The laws of robotics,

whether t*rture can be justified,

and cloning people for
fun and spare parts.

But I realized before resolving

any of these moral quandaries,
the real decision is

who gets to decide.

Do we put it up for a vote?

Does everyone get to
decide for themselves?

Should it be by committee?

Is that committee elected or appointed?

You see where I'm going?
You probably don't.

For the smartest decision,

we need the smartest person.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the
field of scientific ethics,

we can't rely on

democracy or plutocracy.

We need an autocracy,

or to be more precise, a "Sheldocracy."

♪ ♪

Um, I don't think this
was the assignment.

Sorry, Dr. Sturgis, I
pick the assignments now.

Everybody, for next class,

I want words on what you can do

to further the Sheldocracy.

Punishment for typos will be severe.

Class dismissed.

Hey, that's my line.

No, it isn't.

Why don't you see me after class.

Class dismissed.

♪ ♪

And I'm telling you,

your feelings are valid.

I don't know.

Hey. Hey.

Look at me.

I know.

Now, tell me about the rest of your day.

Dusty...

I think I'm done talking.

Do you mean...?

I do.

♪ ♪

- (banging on door)
- MISSY: Mom, I've really got to go!

Use the sink in the garage!
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