01x05 - Anne Theft Auto/Breakout Star

[bunniefuu]

Ah, a leisurely outing
with Bessie.

Why, we could really
go anywhere. Do anything.

Ooh, ooh! Can we get Swamp Slushies?
They have new flavors.

Nope.

Can we go off-road?
Do some crazy stunts?

Double no.

- Ooh, ooh! Can I drive?
- Sure.

Aw, come on, Hop Pop.
Wait, really?

Absolutely. I've been trying to
teach this guy for years.

It's true.

All right. Give me those reins.
I'm ready to drive.

- Not before reading this, you ain't.
- What?

This is Bessie's History.

Before touching a snail's
reins, you gotta know them.

Feel their heartbeat
next to yours and become one.

Hop Pop, it's just a vehicle.

We had a family car back home.
It's no biggie.

Oof!
Don't care.

You can't drive Bessie, unless
you read this cover to cover.

And that's final.

Are there pictures?

There are diagrams.

No!

Dramatic much?

Now if you'll excuse me,
Polly's due for a wash.

No, no. Wait. No!

I'll just get dirty again.

You can't stop me.

I learned this
from watching you, Anne.

I'll be old before
I finish reading this thing.

Yeah, page five
is as far as I got.

Too much description,
not enough plot.

This is ridiculous.

I don't need history.

I need experience.

Hey.

What do you say we take
a harmless test-drive?

Prove to Hop Pop
we're fast learners?

Hmm.
Do you get the feeling

this is one of those decisions
we'll look back on and say,

"Ooh-boy, we probably
shouldn't have done that"?

♪ We'll get Swamp Slushies
while we're out ♪

No regrets!

That's what I like to hear.
Hyah!

Huh? What in tarnation?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Out of the way, slowpoke.

Hooligans! Ruffians!
Swamp suckers!

Whoa. What was that?

I've always wanted to try road rage.
And the verdict?

Exhilarating.

Live your truth! Yeah!

Man, you were right.

We didn't need to read
some silly book. You drive just fine.

Just fine? Pshh.
Boy, I'm a natural.

Ooh, ooh!

- Wanna take this baby off-road?
- Yup.

Whoo-hoo!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Oof!

So, off-roading. Fun.

But how about we go back
to on-roading?

Good old reliable on-roading,
yes, please.

All right, Bessie.
Let's move.

One more time. Let's move.

Um, Bessie?

You all right, girl?

Hey, what's going on here?
Does it need fuel in the t*nk or something?

Is the oil low?

Come get the tasty fuel,
Bessie.

Ew, Anne.
These leaves are tastier.

Here, Bessie.
I got dem good leaves, girl.

Hmm. Maybe we can push her?

Give her a jump-start?
I'm sure that's a thing.

Okay. She is way too heavy.

Also, I'm crazy out of shape.

What are we gonna do?
We're stuck.

We have no choice.

I'll stay here with Bessie while you
hitch a ride back to the farm and...

Go get Hop Pop.

Good idea. It's the right thing to
do, even if we get an earful.

Back in a flash.

Ah, this is so boring.

Wish I had something to read.

Fine. But just to pass the time.

Okay, let's see here.

"It was
an especially cold morning

the day Bessie
was brought into this world."

"The leaves
had just changed color,

and now I shall describe those
leaves to you in great detail..."

Nope.
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

Aha!

Over here, over here.
I need a ride.

Oh, thank you so much
for stopping. I, uh...

Oh.

Bless my socks.

If it isn't Sprig Plantar.

Yep.

Hey, uh, sorry about earlier.

Got a little carried away.

Oh, pishposh.

Sadie Croaker
never holds a grudge, honey.

Well, that's lucky. Will you give
me a lift back home? It's urgent.

Oh, absolutely.

Thanks, Mrs. Croaker.

Oh, my pleasure, honey.
Well, go on and get comfy.

Watch out for ol' Archie,
though.

His venom can cause paralysis.

Now hold on to your eyebrows.

'Cause here we go!

Can't this thing
go any faster?

"And it was at that moment

I realized
Bessie was no ordinary snail,

but a kind, clear soul who would
help others at a drop of a hat.

I raised my bid to 400 copper
pieces, winning the auction,

and in the process, saving Bessie
from the nefarious Jim Snapes."

Yes! In your face, Snapes.

Man.
This is actually pretty good.

And I need to stop
eating leaves.

Come on, come on.

You know what would make
this ride go a lot quicker?

What? Anything. What?

A song.

♪ Ninety-nine jugs
Of juice on the wall ♪

♪ Ninety-nine jugs of juice ♪

♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪

"The snow swirled around
us and I knew we were doomed.

I could feel the strength
leaving my body bit by bit.

The sweet embrace of eternity
crept closer and closer

until suddenly

I heard a sound pulling me back."

"Bessie... Bessie was singing!"

You go, girl.

You noble, noble creature.

Man. This is messing me up.

Now let's see.
Where was I?

"The reason Bessie had hidden in
her shell was now very clear to me.

A predator was close.

And not just any predator.
A natural enemy of snails."

Uh... Hello?

Uh, anything in here
about this predator?

Oh, there we go.
Aw, it's actually pretty cute.

Cone on, come on. Yes!

"When Bessie senses danger,

you gotta sit on her shell

and yell at the top
of your lungs,

'Bessie,
things are getting messy!'"

Yes!

Whoo!

Eat our dust, hedgehogs.

"If you still haven't escaped,
give Bessie some berries

from the secret compartment
in the front of her shell."

Whoa, this is gross.

Let's do this thing, Bessie.

Way to go, Bessie!

You are the queen of the road.

All right, let's go home.

♪ Take one down
Pass it around ♪

♪ No more jugs of juice
On the wall ♪

Glad that's finally over.

One more time.

Hey, kid, need a lift?

Anne! Thank goodness.

Okay, bye, Mrs. Croaker.
Thank you.

Bye, darlin'. Next time,
try to keep that road rage in check.

Yee-haw!

Pretty sure
I just got played.

That woman is everything
I want to be.

We made it.

And it looks like Hop Pop's
still washing Polly.

- You'll never take me alive!
- Dang it, Polly.

You're getting filth
everywhere.

Hey. You coming?

I think I'm going to spend
a little more time

with ol' Bessie here.

Suit yourself.

Now where were we?

What the hey?

Good morning, Hopadiah.

Anne?

I did it.

I read the whole thing.

In one night.

Impressive. Kinda scary.
But impressive.

I was wrong about Bessie.
She's not just a vehicle.

She's a noble,
beautiful creature.

And now that you've read this,
all you need is experience.

I don't feel safe.

*AMPHIBIA*
Episode : "Breakout Star"

Sync corrections by srjanapala

Hmm. Got any threes?

I ain't telling you nothing,
old man.

Is someone dead?

Why are we yelling?

Just look.

She's diseased.

We have to quarantine her.

Don't struggle, Anne.

What, no.
Guys, it's not a disease.

These are pimples.
It's just a human thing.

- Oh. False alarm, everyone.
- Just a human thing. - Okay.

Everybody already
treats me like a monster.

This is just gonna make it
ten times worse.

Ah, come on. No one treats
you like a monster, Anne.

Are you kidding? I can't even go
outside without making a scene.

Ah! It's hideous.

Look away, Teddy. Look away.

Ah, poop.

Okay, fair point,
fair point.

But who cares what they think?
We like you.

Uh-huh. I'm going to go hide in
the basement until this clears up.

Sorry, Anne, but nobody's
hiding anywhere today.

I need help
at the vegetable stand.

We got a bumper crop of scream
beans that need sellin'.

Fresh crickets, ma'am?
Always fresh.

Worms! We got worms!

Are these grubs organic?

All right, kids.

Get out there and sell
like your lives depend on it.

Because they do.

We... We really need this.

Come one, come all.

Try the beans
everybody's screaming about.

Beans, everyone.
Wow, can you believe it?

Oh, gracious!
Like I'd buy beans from a monster.

Yup.

You can't catch me.

Whoa!

Leapin' larva! Look!

No! No, don't look at me.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Yeah, I think so.

They're warts.
Beautiful, ruby-red warts.

Wait. Huh?

- Stunning.
- Are they real?

- I wanna touch them.
- Amazing.

Three cheers for the girl

with the ruby-red warts.

Yay!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoo!

Oh, this is bad, Toadie.
People hate us.

With a passion, sir.

It's as if embezzling money
from the town

makes you the bad guy.

If we don't
fix things soon,

we'll lose next month's
election for sure.

The only thing that can
save us now is a miracle.

Hmm?

Oh, my dear Toadie,
I do believe our miracle has arrived.

This is awesome.

Just look at all these gifts.

The townspeople like me.

They really, really like me.

Chocolate covered maggots!
Come to Momma.

Yeah. They really seem
to like your human bumps, Anne.

I better take care of these
moneymakers if I wanna keep this up.

Babies.

Babies are hungry.

Too much?

Anne, my dear.

Care to join me
for a joyride?

We brought the fancy snail.

Get out!

We all get to ride in that?

Awesome!

Finally, the luxury I deserve.

- Ooh!
- Nope. I'm afraid only Anne is invited.

Just look at those beautiful warts.

Don't look so glum, guys. It's just a ride.
I'll be back in a few.

Whoo-hoo!

- It begins.
- Huh?

Fame changes people, kids.
And not in a good way.

Whoo! Man, this snail is fast.

Anne, we can help each other.

I can make sure
you stay popular,

and in turn, you can help me improve
my reputation. How does that sound?

Sounds harmless.
Can I honk the horn?

- Yeah, sure.
- Whoo!

Here we are.

From now on, Anne,
this is your home.

Whoa!

This is awesome.
And to think just yesterday

people were treating me
like a monster.

Look at me now, baby.

Glad you're enjoying yourself.

Stick with me and I'll make sure
you never go out of style.

Now take care of those warts.
Toodles.

Hey, Anne.
Got time for a visit?

Oh. Hey, guys.

Just look at this place.
Epic, right?

Yeah. It's great.

Can you believe
I was living in your basement?

Ha! It was cold, dusty,
not to mention smelly.

Oh, no offense.

None taken.

Oh, sh**t.
We gotta wrap this up.

I've gotta sign autographs,
kiss tadpoles

and do some interviews,
all before dinner.

So good to talk to you guys.
Love you, mean it. Mwah.

The heck was that?

It's like
she's a different person.

Yeah. A crazy person.

This stinks.
Hey. None of that.

Kids, when one of your own
makes it big,

you support them.
No matter what.

Because deep, deep, deep,
deep, deep, deep, deep down,

they're the same person.

- You're right, Hop Pop.
- Okay.

Ma'am, I think I found you
the perfect dress for tonight.

Oh. Yeah, okay.

Five more minutes.

Be at the assembly
at noon sharp.

Good morning, my greasy babies.
Time to get ready for the...

No.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

My pimples!

What do I do? What do I do?
What do I do?

Uh, hello? Anyone there?

Just me. Toadie.

Wow.

Uh, can you deliver this note
to the Plantars?

Of course, ma'am.
But before I do,

could I get an autograph?
I'm a huge fan.

Yeah, sure. Why not?
Here. Now go.

Uh, this is a little
hard to read.

- Just go!
- Yes, ma'am.

- We got your note.
- We came as fast as we could.

What's the emergency?

My life is ruined.

My zits. They're gone.
Without them, I'm... I'm nothing.

Anne, that's ridiculous.

I'm sick and tired
of this and... and...

We'll do everything
we can to help you.

Oh, thank goodness.

Hmm.

I got it! What if we stuck some of
these swamp berries to your face?

They kinda look like pimples.

Great. But how can we get to
the swamp without me being seen?

- I have f-Annes everywhere.
- F-what?

F-Annes.
It's what we're calling my fans.

I don't want to live
on this planet anymore.

Don't worry about the crowds, Anne.
I have a pla-Anne.

Make way!

Plague towels, everyone.
Plague towels.

If you don't wanna cough up your
organs, stay back!

Hey, everyone,
that's Anne's foot.

- Uh-oh.
- The jig is up. Run!

Anne, we love you!

We need you. Please...

We'll never make it.

Not without a diversion,
we won't.

Anne. Give me your shoe.

Uh... Okay.

Hey, everyone. Lookie.
I've got Anne's shoe.

Hop Pop, no!

- He's got Anne's shoe.
- Get him!

Fly, you fools.

Eh, he'll be fine.

Look, over there.

How do I look?

That should do it.

Thanks for helping me, guys.

That's what we're here for.

Not me.
I'm here for the drama.

Where is she? I'm losing a point in
the polls every minute she's late.

- I'm here. I'm here.
- There you are, my dear. I was so worried.

Sorry, I was caught up
in this whole mob situation.

Luckily the Plantars
were there to help me and...

The Plantars? Anne, honey,
I thought we talked about this.

Hanging out with those bumpkins will
only pull you down to their level.

I think it's for the best that
you not be seen with them anymore.

Understand?

Understood.

Good. Now get out there.

Your public awaits.

Crazy week, huh?

Couple days ago,
I was a monster,

and now I'm the pride
and joy of Wartwood.

I've got a nice apartment,
f-Annes, fame.

But you know what I'm missing?

The people who'll stick with me
whether I'm a monster or not.

She's hideous again.

Anne, what are you doing?
You're throwing it all away?

Now how am I supposed to convince
these idiots to vote for me?

Um, sir?

What is it, Toadie? I... Oh.

Did I say "idiots"?

I meant lovely,
lovely townspeople, eh?

Uh, simmer down now.
Simmer... Whoa.

This is an outrage! Stop that!

- Show's over.
- What a waste of time.

Let's get outta here.

Uh, hey, guys.

- These are horrifying.
- Yep.

Thanks for sticking with me,
even when the attention got to my head.

Just remember to do the same when
I'm rich and famous. Never happening.

Any chance I can go back to being the
monster that lives in your basement?

Of course.

Thanks, you guys.
Hey, you know what?

I still have the key
to the apartment.

You guys wanna
try out the hot tub

before they change the locks?

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
Hot tub.

Can't wait to feel
those bubbles in my pants.