01x06 - Flipped Out; The Wormhole Has Turned

[bunniefuu]

Male announcer: And now,
nickelodeon and dreamworks'

Monsters vs. Aliens.

- ♪ mva ♪

♪ mva ♪

- ♪ monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ it's us vs. Them

♪ foe vs. Friend

♪ brain vs. B.O.B.

- ♪ it's a super-freaky job

- Oh, yeah,
it's freaky.

- ♪ mva ♪

- ♪ monsters vs. Aliens ♪

- [cackles]
- ♪ monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ mva ♪

- It's all down to this.

The world championship of catch.

B.O.B. Looks sharp,
and he's paired

With the career leader
in being caught,

Fernando bolaroja.

Game face, fernando!

Let's do this.

[squeaks]

[grunting]

Don't you choke on me now,
fernando!

Ahh!

Fernando!

Not you!

[chuckles]

[grunting]

[screaming]

Ahh!

[laughing]

[toilet flushes]

[chuckles]

That was awesome.

Fernando!

[giggles]

Caught!

And the crowd goes...

[electricity crackles]

Spooky?

[light buzzes]

[gasps]

I am so gonna flip that switch.

[laughs]

[alarm wails]

[giggles]

- Defense system failure.

Defense system failure.

Defense--

- Stand down, b.O.B.!

- Hey, guys, it's really hard
to flip that switch

When you're
grabbing my arm.

- General monger?
B.O.B.?

We heard the alarm!

[alarm stops]

What's going on?

- The blue goo has gone rogue!

Quickly, liquidate him!

Then the others too,
just to be safe.

- Nobody's liquidating anybody.

- Aw.

- At least as long
as nobody touches

My ultimate emergency switch.

- Ultimate emergency switch,
you say?

- Just a little something

The base brainiacs
cooked up in the ' s.

If things ever get really bad,

And I mean duck-and-cover,
tell-your-mama-you-love-her bad,

That's when I hit the switch.

- And?

Continue, man.

What does the switch
actually do?

- Hang on.
I'll find out.

[grunting]

I just want to touch it.

- That information
is so highly classified,

Nobody knows but yours truly.

Trust me, you don't want
to be around when it happens,

And by "around,"
I mean on earth.

- Mystery doomsday device, eh?

[chuckles and grunts]

That was my quiet voice.

You had no right to listen.

- Hmm.

I'd say this room's
security system

Is due for an upgrade.

- I volunteer
to secure this room

And all of its tantalizing,
forbidden secrets.

- I'll handle
the upgrades myself.

By this time tomorrow,

Nobody will be getting
near this switch again.

In the meantime,
forget you ever saw it.

- Already forgotten, general.

And now I am leaving
on a totally unrelated matter.

Or is it?

Quiet voice!
No listening.

- Team monster copies, general.

And if you say
this room is off-limits, then--

B.O.B.!

- What?

Oh, that's so weird.

I mean, you know how sometimes

You forget
where your arm is?

Then it's like,
"where did I get tacos?"

[giggles]
you know.

- Your other arm's doing it too.

[grunting]

- Monsters?

- [chuckles]
isn't he adorable?

All under control.

- They call it
an ultimate emergency switch.

If it's some sort of w*apon,

It could help our evil plans.

Yay, evil!
[chuckles]

Coverton out.

- Yeah, you should probably
use a quiet voice

For talking evil like that.

- [groans]

- The switch!

Switch!

- Okay, b.O.B., what's the deal?

- Look, it's, like,
a thing with me.

I see a button, got to push it.

See a dial, got to turn it.

See a switch, I got to flip it.

- B.O.B., you can't--

- I mean, like, right now,
you're talking and I'm talking,

But all I'm thinking is,

"wouldn't it be awesome
to flip that switch?"

Uh, yeah!
It would!

Be right back, guys.

Gah!
I'm doing it again.

I can't help it!

- Sure you can.

You just need
a little self-control.

- Say-ulf con-trowl.

Uh, I don't know.

My mouth feels like
that's a fake word.

- By tomorrow,
monger's security upgrades

Will take care
of keeping you out.

You just have to control
yourself for one day, b.O.B.

- A whole day?

[sighs]

Okay, but you guys
better be ready

To stop me if I lose it.

- We got your back.

- But you totally won't need it.

I have faith in you, b.O.B.

Just repeat after me:

I will not touch
the emergency switch.

- I will only touch
the switch one time,

Very lightly flipping it.

- No!
B.O.B.

"I will not touch.

"not touch!

Not."

- [sighs]

I will not touch--

[grunting]

- Stop!

- Yeah, self-control?

Not b.O.B.'s thing.

- I must question the wisdom

Of activating
an unknown emergency device.

It could initiate
a base-wide self-destruct

Or collapse the universe
or...Anything.

- Which is why you simply must

Flip that switch and find out.

For science!

And probably extra credit

On your little
earth studies field trip.

- I do enjoy extra credit.

- [grunting]

Ahh!

- [yells]

- Coverton?

- A bit peculiar
to find you down here,

Wouldn't you say?

- You're peculiar!

It's a free hallway.

We're going that way now.

They're on to us.

It appears we'll have
to take a stealthier route.

- What is up with mushroom head
and the pip-sqweep?

- Not at the top of my problem
list right now, okay?

Seriously, how can you not stop
thinking about the switch?

You don't even have a brain.

- The heart wants
what it wants, susan.

You don't need
a brain to know that.

- But you don't
have a heart either.

- Really?

Then which part of me
wants to flip that switch?

Is it my butt?

Because I do not trust that guy.

- Ugh, clearly self-control
isn't working here, susan.

I suggest option "b":
Distraction.

- A surprise?

For me?

And I get to walk down
a hallway?

Ahh!

Could this day get any awesomer?

- Just wait till you see what
the doc-roach made for you.

[mechanical humming]

- Status report.

- Nearing subbasement level .

Three more floors to the switch.

- Check it.

- [screams]

- I know how much you love
buttons, dials, and switches,

So I scavenged enough
to keep you busy for--

[switchboard beeps]

- [giggling]

Thanks, doc.

You know, I am so pumped to hit
that emergency switch now.

[grunting]

- Look, b.O.B., another dial.

Ooh, I think this one
is a thermostat.

It's hot.
It's cold.

It's hot.

It's cold.
It's hot.

[both screaming]

- Retreat!

- All right, you know what?

We give up.

- If you are
absolutely determined

To hit the ultimate
emergency switch,

We shan't stop you.

- In fact, you're so great,

We even drew you a shortcut map.

- Wow!
Thanks, guys.

Oh!
Okay, let's see.

Looks like I make
a right turn here.

And then I guess
I turn right again.

Right turn it is.

Right again.

- And that takes care

Of b.O.B.'s
emergency switch obsession.

- Right turn.

- What do my senses overhear?

Have we been
going about this all wrong?

- Of course.

It isn't necessary
to test the switch ourselves.

- Not when we can manipulate
a blobby simpleton

Into doing it for us.

- I am on it.

[device beeps]

- Okay.

I guess now I go that way.

- What's-about-a-what?

- [giggles]

- B.O.B., wait!

[grunting]

- [chuckles]

[triumphant orchestral music]

- You.
Me.

Let's flip this thing.

[exciting music]

[record scratches]

Huh.
Weird.

I could swear
somebody told me

Not to flip this switch.

- Nonsense.

Why should anyone
tell you not to flip

A perfectly flippable switch?

- No, I'm pretty sure they did.

- Didn't.

- Something about

Say-ulf con-trow-something.

- Flip the switch!

- Wait a minute.

You want me
to flip the switch.

- Yes!

I was incredibly clear
on this point.

- And I want to flip the switch,

So that's two votes "yes."

Okay, anybody else
have anything to...

[giggles]

No!

- What do you mean, "no"?

Flip it.
Flip it!

- I cannot,

For now I see
that today,

I must be strong

Like my hero,

Fernando bolaroja!

You're an inspiration to us all,
buddy.

- [grunting]

Congratulations.

Big moment for you.

Why not call your friends
to celebrate?

You can use that phone
that looks like a switch.

- Oh, good idea.

[switch clicks]

Hello?

Susan?
Hello?

Did I accidentally
flip twice para español?

Susana!

- What?
Nothing?

How can there be nothing?

Are you certain you're flipping
the switch correctly?

- Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's
what's making the monkey dance.

- Monkey does what?

[cymbals clang]

- B.O.B., don't hit the--

- [whimpers]

- I am thoroughly confused.

- Make way, soldiers.

- Why,
look who showed up just now.

It's me.

What did I miss?

Oh, there's a monkey.

- Security upgrades.

Instead of arming a whole mess
of new booby traps,

I just wired my ultimate
emergency switch somewhere else.

That one is now strictly
for dancing monkey activation.

- Monkey on.

Monkey off.

Monkey on.

Monkey off.

- [imitates laughing]

How clever.

Well played, general.

You win again

For now.

[grunts]
quiet voice!

- Sorry, general.

We tried to keep him away, but--

- At ease, susan.

I like to see a little
gung-ho rule-skirting.

You know, b.O.B.,

I was a bit of a maverick myself
back in the day.

- Oh, hang on.

I'll get the lights.

- Don't hit that--

B.O.B.!

- Monsters, aliens,

How would you rate
today's mission performance?

- Let's see.

Meteor storm hit egypt.
We knocked them away.

- Alien technology diverted
incoming meteors,

Far more than team ook-ook,
me punch-punch.

- We changed our team name?

But I just wrote
the fight song.

♪ go, team monster

You love it.

- Frankly, I'm more concerned
about the meteors

That hit before we showed up.

This unit protects
the entire planet.

We've got to be able
to get anywhere on earth

Before the sphinx takes
a space rock to the kisser.

Gentlemen, lady,
assorted etceteras,

We need a faster way
to get from "a" to "b."

Ideas.
Go!

- Well, I have been working on a
day-old donut fuel source that--

- Would this be helpful?

I've been tinkering
with a terrestrial version

Of the solar sail concept

Using jet stream convection.

- Hmm, give it to me in "fast."

- Roughly ten times the speed
of your hypersonic engines.

- Oh, my, that is fast.

- I also have plans
for a flatulent dirigible.

- Plus, we could paint
flames on the sides.

That would be cool, right?

- Hot rod almighty,
that is a fine idea.

- [growls]

Teleportation!

I have a teleportation machine.

- Really?

- [scoffs]
doubtful.

- Instantaneous matter transfer
to any point on earth?

Everybody knows
that's impossible.

- Child, I specialize
in the impossible.

- Outstanding, team monster.

- Oh, yeah!
- Go, cockroach!

- I am so lost right now.

- So which one
is the teleportation machine?

- I don't have one.

I'm a big, fraudulent liar.

I just couldn't stand
looking like a fool

In front of that insufferable
sqweep child.

- Right.

Better to look
like a bigger fool

In front of everybody.

That'll show the kid.

- [groans]

- Come on, you've got a whole
mad scientist lab here.

Why couldn't you just
whip up a teleportation machine?

- You think I haven't tried?

I gave up
after the hamster incident.

- You have a hamster?

- Most of it.

- Okay, but this time you've got

All of team monster behind you.

- Are any of you versed in
trans-spatial particle dynamics?

- Whoo!
Let's do this.

[energetic electronic music]

♪

- [grunts]

[machine beeps and burbles]

[laughs]

Yes!

- Oh, it's green!

Green is good, right?

- Always, baby.

[machine zings]

- Did that just--

- [laughs]

Success.

- High-five the doc-roach.

- Where did you teleport him to?

- Hey, guys,
check it out.

There's a green space ring
over here too.

I wonder where this one goes.

And there's one over here too?

[laughs]

- Confused?
- Yep.

- Good.

I think that's
the smart response.

- This isn't teleportation.

All I've done is open up
a pathetic -foot wormhole.

- And there's probably
a difference, right?

- Real teleportation could
send us anywhere in the world,

Perhaps even the galaxy,

Whereas this puny thing
just goes feet that way.

- Uhh!

- Okay, yeah,
that's kind of useless.

- And, interesting side note,
it's also lactose intolerant.

- So your wormhole
can't handle dairy.

[rumbling]

[wormhole belches]

- [laughs]

- Wow, there is so much

I do not get
about mad science.

- I should get some rest.

There's a lively morning
of public shaming ahead of me.

- You know what, doc?

I can work with this.

- Really?
That's great.

Oh, it's one of those ideas.

- [laughing]

- Tell me why we couldn't
just do this demo

Inside the base.

- Uh, teleportation works best
in the open air.

It's something to do
with the, uh--

The follicules.

- Yeah.

[indistinct grumbling]

- That's--
there's no such--

General, he's talking nonsense.

- Let's see
some sweet teleporting.

- Assembled
very important persons--

- Boo.

Boo!

- And also coverton--

Behold, the wonders

Of teleportation.

- ♪ doobity-da-da-do

Teleportation.

[machine hums]

- Ahh?

- Whoa, nelly!

- With this machine,
I can send man or monster

To any spot on earth

And have him return with
a local souvenir to prove it.

- ♪ wushiga-wah

- Teleportation target?

Belgium.

- Hoo-ah!

[machine zings]

[all gasp]

[chuckles]

Little something from belgium.

Belgium.

Perfecto.

- ♪ everybody look up here

♪ stare straight ahead

♪ yeah, yeah, yeah

[machine zings]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Genuine belgian waffles.

[all gasp]

[applause]

- This seems highly dubious.

- Um, what if I don't
want to go to belgium?

Perhaps I think waffles
are stupid.

- Ah, calibrating for...

Mexico.

[machine zings]

- Whoo-hoo.

Authentic microwave taquitos.

Es super picante.

Tss.

- Whoa.

- Ooh, now do kyrgyzstan.

What?

It's my favorite
central asian republic.

- Mm...

[machine zings]

- It's clearly a hoax,
but how are they--

- Ow.

Stupid rock.

Ow!

- Of course.

An epsilon-class
short-range wormhole.

But everyone knows
the epsilon class

Is extremely lactose
intolerant.

- Oh, is it?

[chuckles]

- Why are you laughing
like that?

Ohh.

We are being devious.

- Kyrgyzstan:
World famous for its--

[sniffs]

Air fresheners.

[applause]
- yay!

- Great!

Well, I think that wraps up--

- I request wisconsin.

One can never tell what evil

May strike america's dairyland.

- The little devil knows.

- Stay cool.

Your wormhole can
manage one little carton of...

[machine zings]

Ta-dairy.

[wormhole belches]

- Hmm,
lactose intolerant checkmate.

- Monsters, did my teleportation
machine just gurgle?

- Minor side effect.

The important thing
is that teleportation

Is far superior to anything
sqweep could invent.

Thank you.
You've been a lovely audience.

- How about something
from France?

Say, cheese?

- Cheese!

Take the picture.

- Never back down, doc.

- Link, wait.

[machine zings]

- Fromage.

[wormhole belches]

Wait, there's lactose in cheese?

- Enough!

- Its follicules?

- I know what catastrophe
sounds like:

That.
Shut it down.

- Yes, general.

[machine beeps]

- But this was just getting fun.

[ominous music]

♪

- Coverton, no.

- [grunts]

Ahh!

[wormhole grumbling]

[wormhole belches and farts]

[yelling]

- Turn it off, dr. C!

- I'm trying!
It won't respond.

- Their fault.

Everyone saw it.

I had nothing to do with--

[grunts]

- Hang on.
Let me pummel the problem.

[grunts]

[wormhole farts]

[yelling]

- Whoa!

Whee!

[laughs]

- It's expanding exponentially.

Completely self-powered.

- Wait, what does that mean?.

- It means it won't stop growing

Until it rips the planet apart.

[ominous music]

♪

- You!
Smart one.

I was talking to the one
who did not make a suck-hole

That's gonna eat my planet!

Little alien,
I order you to plug this thing.

- I don't know how to.

There's no protocol.

- It's all on you, doc.

You can do this.

- I assure you, it's impossible.

- Child, I specialize
in the impossible.

[energetic electronic music]

Susan, this device
will require you

To activate your
ginormica powers on my command.

- Really?

- Ahh!

- No time to explain.

Ready?
Now.

- Oof.

[machine sputters]

[all yelling]

- [grunts]

- The wormhole
may need a few hours

To digest all that lactose.

Till then, clog away, susan.

- This was your plan?

- Outstanding work, doctor.

- Outstanding?

It was a complete failure.

He was supposed
to be solving

A transportation problem.

- Hands up if you saved
the earth today.

Mouth closed if you didn't.

[antennae warble]

- I am but a humble idea man.

Truly, it was susan's
ginormic bum

That saved the planet.

- You are not writing that
in the report.