03x18 - Martha's Dirty Habit/Helen's All Thumbs

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Martha Speaks". Aired: September 1, 2008 - November 18, 2014.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


A family dog gains the power of speech after the letters in some alphabet soup wind up misrouted to her brain instead of her stomach in this whimsical animated series adapted from books by Susan Meddaugh.
Post Reply

03x18 - Martha's Dirty Habit/Helen's All Thumbs

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Martha was an average dog

♪ She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre. ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say

♪ Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speakWhat's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates

♪ Elucidates, exaggerates

♪ Indicates and explicates

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ ...hyperventilates!

♪ Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks!
♪ Martha speaks.

Hi. Welcome to the show.
(video game sounds)

Psst. Ronald, it's time
to introduce the show.

In a sec.

Uh... today's words
are all about habits

and trying to break
them, right, Ronald?

(groans)

You'll hear words like
"weakness" and "urge,"

"obsessed," "preoccupied"
and "hooked."

Quit playing that
game and tell everyone
to enjoy the show!

(monotone):
Enjoy the show.

Your whole class is going
to the Natural History Museum?

Uh-huh.

Oh, you can
visit my bone.

Take pictures.

We're supposed to
be doing research.

Mrs. Clusky wants us
to do a project

on life in
prehistoric times.

I'm thinking
I'll do mine on

giant, prehistoric fish.

How about you?

I can't decide.

Do dinosaur bones!

I'll help. I'm an expert.

I know facts about 'em even
the scientists don't know.

Really? Like what?

MARTHA:
They taste like chicken.

ALICE: game sounds)
You'd better decide quick.

Mrs. Clusky wants us
to write a paragraph

describing our
projects for tomorrow.

I'll do it tonight.

(electronic fanfare)

(groans)

Oh, hey, I've been
looking for you.

Why?

Want this?

Wha...? You're...
giving...

me something?

Don't get excited.

My computer's got
better games.

So I'm getting rid
of this one.

Want it?

Wow, that's...

Two bucks.

Okay, okay,
quit your crying.

Take it. You can have it.

I'm not really into
these things.

You want it, Helen?

Yeah, thanks, Alice.

How's it work?

You guys don't know anything.

Here, I'll show you.

Helen, can we go to the park?

Just a second, Martha.

RONALD:
In the first level, you got
to build your caveman forts

before the dinos come
and eat you.

I thought dinosaurs d*ed out
before cavemen came around.

Yeah. And they
don't have forts.

They had caves.

You know? Cavemen.

You want to talk history
or play the game?

(electronic tones)

Aw, now look what you did.
He ate me.

No talking!

Grab the banana.
Grab the banana.

I think she's hooked.

Wait, wait,
wait...

(roaring)

Aw, you waited too
long. My turn.

Park?

In a minute.

(sad sigh)

I don't like that thing.

You should get rid of it.

Why?

You get too
preoccupied.

(chuckles)
Preoccupied?

Preoccupied means...

What?

Huh?

Preoccupied means what?

Oh, preoccupied means you're
not paying attention

because you're thinking about...
something... else.

I'm not preoccupied.

(thud)
Ow!

Uh-huh. You mean,
like that?

(roaring)

MOM:
Helen.

Time to put
the game away.

She can't.
She's hooked.

Helen...

Okay in a minute...

Helen, if that
game is not off

by the time I count to
three, I'm taking it away.

Uno... dos... tres...

It's off. It's off.

I quit.

When do we eat?

(sighs)

I was wondering
the same thing.

(barking)

Helen, Did you forget
to feed the dogs?

Oh, sorry.

I guess I got a little...
Preoccupied?

DAD:
Aw, man.

Oh.

Just seeing what all
the fuss was about.

(clearing throat)

Good game.

Where'd you put it?

You're supposed to be
writing that paragraph

about your project.

What are you,
the homework monitor?

Is a monitor someone
who makes sure

people do what they're
supposed to be doing?

Yeah.

Then I'm the homework monitor.

And my monitoring tells me

you are not doing
any homework.

I will, I will.

Just let me get
to level two.

(video game sounds)

(game sounds continue)

(yawning)

Hey, Helen.

What's wrong with you?

Up late.

Probably playing
that Gamekid.

A Gamekid?

Don't let me near it.
(shudders)

Those things are...
oh, what's the word?

No.Boring?

Addicting.

Or at least I think
that's the word I mean.

Isn't addiction like
a habit you can't break?

You know, you start doing
something and you can't quit?

Yeah. Only I'm
not addicted.

I quit playing.

It was midnight, but I quit.

Addicted.

(panting):
Oh, no...

this better be a dream.

a permission sliping
from your parents.

(roaring)

Did you get that, Helen?

CLUSKY:
Helen?

Did you hear what I said?

Uh, what?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Clusky.

Because without it, you
can't go to the museum.

Uh-huh.

Your project paragraph?

TD:
Mrs. Clusky would never let
me turn a paper in late.

She might-- if you didn't
turn in everything late already.

I could write quicker if
my thumbs weren't so sore.

What's your project on?

Giant prehistoric

man-eating worms.

TD, there's no such thing.

That's what they all say.

Until...

(slurping sounds)

Helen, you are hooked.

It helps me relax.

Besides, the game gave me
an idea for my project.

A model of a Neanderthal man.

ALICE:
Mrs. Clusky says
we should start working

on our projects
before the field trip.

Our Friend,
the Neanderthal Man.

Can you use this
for your model?

Mm-hmm.

You should be working
on your model.

I will...

once I get to level six.

Hey!

Give it back!

(excited barking)

Martha!

I promise I'll take a break

once I get to
the next level.

You need to take
a break now.

Stop monitoring me.

Well, I wouldn't have to if...
(barking)

Skits.

You're obsessed.

I'm not obsessed.

Are, too.

All you think about
is that game.

You can't think
of anything else.

That's obsessed.

You're the one
who's obsessed.

All you think about

is if I'm obsessed.

Because you are.

Why don't you obsess
about something else?

Like food?

I am.

That's why I'm obsessed
about you being obsessed.

You forgot to feed us again.

(gasps)

Oh, Martha.

I'm sorry.

]From now on, I promise,
I'll restrain myself.

Whoo-hoo! Level six!

So much for restraint.

(curious bark)

Restraint.

When you restrain
yourself,

from doing something.rself
(phone ringing)

Hello.

Oh, hey, Alice.

Hey, how's your
Neanderthal man
model coming?

Yeah. Yeah. Good. Great.

Don't forget to bring
your permission slip

for the museum tomorrow.

Okay.

You can't go without it.

Okay. Thanks. Bye.

What did Alice want?

Uh, something about school.

You forgot?
But I reminded you!

I forgot to remember.

BOY:
Hey, Alice!

Hurry up! You're going
to miss the bus!

Sorry, Helen.

(sighs)

(whining)

Come on, Skits,
that's silly.

Helen does not
love that game
more than us.

(whining continues)

She has not forgotten
about us. You'll see.

She's bringing us
a picture

of our bone from the museum.

(door opens, shuts)

Helen, what's wrong?

I'm the worst owner
in the world.

I forgot to feed you,
I forgot to walk you,

and I didn't get
a picture of your bone.

No picture?

I couldn't go to the museum

because I forgot
to get a note from Mom.

Martha,

you've got to help me.

Sure. Whatever it is,
I can do it...

unless you need
thumbs.

Hide this, and no matter what,
don't tell me where it is.

I never want
to see this game again.

With pleasure.

You haven't even started?!

Mm-mm.

Don't just sit there,
glue something.

(grunts)

What difference does it make?

I can't build a model
by tomorrow.

Come with me.

Where are we going?

I've got an idea
for your project.

It's better than a model
and you can finish it tonight.

(gasps)

(roars)

(gasps)

(gasps)





(roars)

I've been playing
that game way too much.

Now all we have
to do is find
some things.

I'll get rid of it.

(clears throat)

I'll get rid of it.

We just need to borrow a couple
of bones for my project.

I promise I'll bring them
right back.

I'll get rid of it.

ALICE:
Early men and women
were hunter-gatherers.

They gathered vegetables

and hunted wild animals
for food.

They used animals hides
as clothing

to keep themselves warm.

Their teeth were worn down
from poor nutrition.

(all gasp)

Thanks for helping me out, TD.

You helped me
out, too.

I got extra credit for
being a Neanderthal.

Boy, am I going to need it.

Why? Your worm was great.

Yeah, too bad

prehistoric man-eating worms
didn't really exist.

(laughs)

Hey, Helen,
I found these
old game discs.

You can use 'em in the Gamekid.
Want 'em?

Uh, no, thanks.

I don't think my dogs
will let me.

(dogs growling)

(chuckles)
Bad habits are
hard to break.

It's weird.
You can get addicted
to all kinds of things.

You and Skits are hooked
on sticks.

I can't throw it
if you don't let go.

Mom's hooked
on International Icon.

Is something burning?

(gasps) My casserole!

Oh, how did I get so wrapped up
in that show?

Pizza, anyone?

Jake's hooked on his blankie.

(fusses)

And of course, you got really
hooked on digging.

Some people have no restraint.

Want me to get rid
of that for you?

Would you?

I think I'm hooked.

(inhales sharply)

(door opens)

Truman!

What? I wasn't doing
anything.

You still suck your thumb?

No, I, uh,
I was polishing it.

I can't believe it.
You still suck your thumb.

I was thinking.
That's what I was doing.

Hmm.

I don't know anybody
who isn't a baby

who still sucks
their thumb.

Oh, come on, Carolina,
we all have bad habits.

Martha's right.

Habits are things
people do all the time.

Everybody has some habit.

Sure, like biting
your fgernails.

That's a bad habit
I have.

Well, I wouldn't call
thumb sucking a bad habit.

I'd call it habito de bebes,
a baby habit.

A bad habit is like
when you go on
and on and on,

picking on something
you don't like about
someone else.

(giggles)

That's not a habit;
it's helpful criticism.

Do dogs have bad habits?

That's a good question,
Truman.

I have to think
about tha... (gasps)

Oh, no, Martha, no, no, no!

Huh?

I don't know what comes
over me.

It happens every spring.

You're such a mature dog
in every other way,

but when it comes
to digging,

you just have
this... weakness.

Not really. Martha's strong.

She can dig a hole
three-feet deep

before you can say
"No, Martha, stop!"

(sing-songy):
You're not helping.

Not that kind
of weakness, honey.

I mean Martha likes something
so much, she doesn't have

the strength to stop herself.

Her willpower's weak.
(Martha clears throat)

(chuckles)
Guess I'll hold off
on the snacks till dinner.

Okay, how about if I just
promise I'll never do it again.

You don't trust me.

Promising is one thing, but...

you really have
to follow through.

What?

Oh.

Tell you what, Martha.

You stop
your digging habit,

and I'll try to get
over my weakness for snacks.

Deal?

Sure. Deal. Why not?

After all, how hard could it be?

(kids grunting)
Martha, no!

Mom just replanted
those flowers!

Martha!

I just don't get it.

Skits has no problem
with not digging.

(barks)

Well, I guess some dogs

just have a better
nose for dirt.

All those rich smells.

The robust aromas of clay
and soil,

a piquant hint of fertilizer,
burnished off

by fruity undernotes
of worms and rotting leaves.

It's...

I can't stop myself!

Why don't we take a walk?

You know, maybe I
should try to stop

something I have
the urge to do.

Urge? You mean, when you get
the feeling you really want

to do something?

Right. So when I have
the urge to, you know,

with my thumb, I'll stop myself.

You've really started
a trend, Martha.

(quavering)

Um, why don't we walk

on the other side
of the street?

HELEN:
Tree People.

I heard they were going to be
planting trees this week

to make the neighborhood
look better.

(quavering)
All that dirt.

Sorry, Martha,
this walk was rougher
than I expected.

No matter where you turn,
there's dirt.

The whole Earth is nothing
but dirt!

Maybe I should just stay
inside for a while.

How long is "a while"?

Like, until
it starts snowing.

TRUMAN:
Five. One, two, three, four,

five.

You owe me $ .

Gah! I hate this game!

Sorry, sorry.

I guess I'm cranky
'cause I quit.

You know,
with the thumb?

Martha?

Huh?

Your roll.

How long does this game take?

Until we all decide
we're bored and we stop.

You said you needed
to stay inside till
winter anyway, right?

Right.

(giggling)
(groans)

TV ANNOUNCER:
Do you have an irresistible
craving that nothing will stop?

When you crave something,
that means

you want it so badly that you
can't stop thinking about it.

Maybe you crave deep,
rich chocolate.

Perhaps you have a weakness,

an unstoppable urge

for thick fudgy, flakey,
coconutty,

peanut-buttery goodness.
(sighs)

(groans)

Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.

Going outside?

No, um, just thought
I heard Skits come in.

Guess I'm hearing things.

What about you?

I was just, um...

Hey, I was thinking,

it's pretty silly to just
stop digging all at once.

What if you went out
and dug just a little.

I don't think I'd be
able to stop myself.

Yeah. I know what you mean.

...crunchy graham crackers,
honey nougat,

all in one irresistible bar.

The Crave Bar.

It's what you crave.

Go on, give in to the urge.

(both sighing)

(snoring)

MOM:
Buenos días, Martha.

Did you sleep well?
Eh.

Well, do you have any
exciting plans for the day?

I thought maybe
I'd lie on the chair

and stare out the window
at the garden for a while.

Then I thought I'd shift
over to the couch

and stare at it some more.

It sounds fun, but...
we had something even
better in mind.

What's that?

ALL:
A digging party!

Ready...

Set...

Go.

Done.

(cheering)

Keep going, Martha.

Really?

Uh-oh.

Did I...?

(sighs)

Whew. It was just a dream.

Good morning.

Oh, hi, Martha.

How are you feeling?

Great.

I may even go outside.

(sighs)
Morning.

Outside? Really?
Yeah.

I had this great dream.

It got the desire to dig
completely out of my system.

It's amazing what a really
great dream can do for you.

Look what you did.

How could you do that?

Look at the holes everywhere,
you naughty dog.

I can't believe this.

I just mowed the
lawn. Bad dog!

(overlapping shouting)

So, you really don't
have that irresistible desire

to dig anymore?

No. The dream took
care of it.

It was strange.

It seemed really real.

(barking)

Maybe if you had
a good dream

over your snacking habit.
(barking)

Hmm.

I wonder who left
those muddy paw prints.

Oh.

(dogs barking)

Um... I think
that's for me.

Oh, hi, everybody.

What brings you here?

(excited barking)

Well, sounds like there's
only one thing to do.

Wish I could stay and talk,
but I have stuff to do.

Later.

Ah. Peace and quiet.

(angry barking)

(shrieks)

(gasps)

What?!

Wha...?

What is going on here?

Martha?!
Martha?!

I'll explain later.

(dogs growling)

I'm sorry.

I thought I was dreaming.

It was an innocent mistake.

What do you want from me?

(Martha grunting)

Okay, that's the last one.

Again, I'm really sorry.

I guess I bottled up the
urge to dig for so long

that it had to come
out some way.

She's been trying very hard
to break the digging habit,

but the drive is
just too strong.

The drive? Like a car?

Drive can also mean
the feeling you get

when you really want
to do something.

(sighs)
You know, digging is not
necessarily a bad thing.

If the drive is
that irresistible,

why don't you try to find a way

to put it to
good use?

Where?

Okay, where do you
need the next one?

Over there.

All right, here I go.

Maybe there are some things
you can never get over.

You can only try to control
your desire to do them.

Like your thumb?

No, I'm all over that.

Look. No wrinkles.

It hasn't been near
my mouth in over a week.

I guess Martha
inspired everyone

to find a way to
control their habits.

Five Crave Bars, please.

And put them in a bag, okay?

Hi. Today we want to talk
to you about drives.

Not "drive" like
driving a car,

but a drive like a strong
desire to do something.

We all have drives.

Dogs are driven to fetch.

And people have an irresistible
drive to play with dogs.

All animals have drives.

Even... cats.

Cats, like Nelson here,

have a drive to pounce,

a need to destroy,

a desire to chew socks,

a nasty habit of breaking
other people's things,

an urge to mess around
with car engines...

I think you're driven to
say bad things about cats.

I can't help it.

They drive me crazy!

Welcome back.

This is the part
where Ronald asks you

if you caught all
the habit words.

But he's too preoccupied to do
what he's supposed to do.

Let's roll the clips.

TV ANNOUNCER:
When you crave something,
that means

you want it so badly

that you can't stop
thinking about it.

All you think about
is that game.

You can't think
of anything else.

That's obsessed.

Drive can also mean
the feeling you get

when you really want
to do something.

See you next time.

BOTH:
Bye.
Post Reply