03x19 - Martha Bakes/Martha Makes Scents

[bunniefuu]

♪ Martha was an average dog

♪ She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say

♪ Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks, yeah,
she speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks
and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. ♪

Hi, there!

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two!

♪ Hear her speak

♪ Martha speaks and speaks

♪ And speaks and speaks
and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates

♪ Elucidates, exaggerates

♪ Indicates and explicates

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ ...hyperventilates!

♪ Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks!
♪ Martha speaks.

Mix in a little
more of that.

Be sure to stir it.

Hello!

We've concocted an exciting
show for you today.

We've combined a perfect
mixture of words.

Words like "blend"
and "separate."

And "extract."

And "tea."

"Tea"?

Tea isn't one
of the words.

It isn't?
Oops.

(laughs)
Was that your...?

Enjoy the show while I go
make another pot of tea.

(laughing):
Sorry!

HELEN:
Come on, Mom, let's go!

What's going on?
What are we doing?

Helen's school had
an art competition.

And the town library's
putting

the winning drawings up
in the lobby.

So Helen wants
to stop by the library
on the way to school.

I want to see if I won.

Ooh!
I bet you did!

Oh, can I come, too?

I want to see.

(chuckles)
Oh, all right.

Don't be sad, sweetie.

I'm sure your drawing
was terrific.

You're just saying that
'cause you're my mom.

No, she's not.

You're a
wonderful
artist.

You're just saying that
'cause you're my dog.

Bye.

See you later, sweetie.

(sighing):
I can't stand seeing
Helen so sad.

Me neither.

You know what
I'm going to do?

I'm going to bake her a cake.

That will cheer her up.

I'm feeling a
little blue myself.

I think I might
need a cake, too.

How about if I let you
lick the mixing bowls?

Good enough.
(phone ringing)

Hello?

Uh-huh.

Yes.

Absolutamente.

(line disconnects)

Mrs. Symons just doubled
the number

of floral arrangements
for her dinner party.

Hey, that's great!

No, it's terrible.

I won't get out of here
in time to bake Helen's cake.

You hear that, Skits?

This is horrible!

It's tragic!

(barks quizzically)

Because if Mom
can't bake a cake,

then Helen won't be cheered up,

and we won't get to
lick the mixing bowls.

(barking)

There's only
one thing to do.

We've got to bake
that cake ourselves!

Come on, Skits!

I just had an idea.

I'll have the bakery
make a cake.

Okay, Martha?

Martha?

I know just the kind of cake
I want to bake.

I saw it in a movie once.

Close your eyes and you
will get a big surprise!

No peeking!

(giggling)

Okay, Skits.
Wheel 'er in!

(grunting)

Okay!

You can open
your eyes now.

Yay! Yay!
Wow!

That's the biggest cake
I've ever seen in my life.

What will we do
with the leftovers?

Mmm! Ah!

Come on, Skits.

Let's get cooking.

Oh, I forgot.

To bake a cake,
you need a recipe.

(barks)

A recipe.

It's like directions
for making food.

It gives you a list of things
you need to make something

and tells you what
to put in and when.

(thumping)

Hey!

A recipe!
Good boy, Skits!

(sighing):
Now if only I could read it.

Rats!
(groans)

I know!
(barks excitedly)

Thank goodness Helen has
this Cooking with Kids DVD.

Hola, kids!

Hola!
(barks)

Today, we're going to bake
a cake from scratch.

From scrah?!

You mean we just scratch
and a cake shows up?

And when I say "from scratch,"

I don't mean you just scratch
and a cake shows up.

Oh.

"From scratch" means

making something yourself,
instead of buying it at a store.

Now before we start,

let's make sure we have
all our ingredients.

Ingredients?

Yes, ingredients.

Ingredients are things you need
to make something.

(TV clicking)

Like the ingredients for mud
are water and dirt.

And the ingredients for cinnamon
toast are cinnamon and toast.

And the ingredients
for cinnamon mud toast

are water and dirt
and cinnamon and toast.

All that talk about mud
toast made me hungry.

(TV clicks)

For our cake recipe,
you'll need...

Okay, the first three
ingredients are eggs,
milk and butter.

Ehh!
How do we get that open?

(barks)

Way to go, Skits!

(barks proudly)

Rats.

Good boy, Skits!

Careful.

Careful.

Now.

Put the eggs down.

(sighs)

(whines)

(doorbell rings)

May we borrow
two eggs, please?

(with mouth full):
Almost there.

(squeaking)

(barks)
Hey!

Oh, bummer.

Whew!

Thank goodness Mrs. Parkington
had two more eggs.

(splat)

(grunts)
(sighs)

(doorbell rings

Hi.
(barks)

You'll have the cake
ready by : ?

Excelente!

I'll call my dog
and tell her to pick it up.

Huh?!

(sighing):
Empty.

A cup of milk?!

What will you ask for next?

Flour?

Oh, well...

Ah, now that
you mention it.

You're sure these are
all the ingredients you need?

Positive.

I memorized
the recipe.

Three cups of flour,

one-and-a-half cups of sugar,

a teaspoon of baking powder,

three-quarters
teaspoon of salt,

two teaspoons of vanilla,

a cup of milk,
two sticks of butter,

two eggs
and two greased cake pans.

MRS. PARKINGTON:
I'll do it.

You will just spill it,
and I'm all out of eggs.

(phone ringing)

That's odd.

My dog isn't answering
the phone.

Oh.

Combine the flour,
baking powder and salt

in a mixing bowl.

That's right.

Pour them in and stir well.

(TV clicks)

Mixing bowls?

How are we going to get mixing
bowls out of the cupboards?

(barks excitedly)

Okay. We're supposed to pour
all the dry ingredients,

except the sugar,
into a bowl and stir.

Hmm. I think
this one's sugar.

(Skits barks)
Yeah.

(Skits barks sharply)

Just making sure.

I'll pour the flour.

(groans)

If only I had thumbs.

Let's just mix them here,

then we'll scratch them
back into a bowl.

(TV clicks)

Now that we've combined
our dry ingredients,

let's put them aside.

In a separate bowl, blend
the butter in with the sugar.

I don't know
why she uses a spoon.

It's much easier to blend
with your paws.

I'm so sorry, Mrs. Parkington.

I'll have Danny pick up butter,
eggs and milk

on his way home from work.

No, it's no trouble at all.

He has to stop at the bakery
anyway.

Very well.

But see that she doesn't
make a habit of it.

If I'd known that dog was going
to be coming over at all hours

asking for groceries--
ghost or no ghost--

I'd have stayed
at my Great-Aunt Martha's.

(nervous whimper)

What on earth is Martha doing
with butter?

I'd better finish this order
and get home.

MARTHA:
Looking good!

(Martha hits PLAY on remote)

COOKING LADY:
Now b*at the eggs...

(TV clicks)
b*at the eggs?

Gee.

I feel bad about hitting them.

And I don't mean "b*at"
as in hitting something.

I mean the kind of b*at

where you stir
something quickly, like this.

See how I'm b*ating them?

I'll try.

Oh, and be careful not to drop
any shell into the batter.

Huh?

You should break the eggs
like this.

Uh-oh.

(slurping)

I like it.

Makes it crunchy.

Now, pour the dry
ingredients

into the butter mixture
and stir thoroughly.

Then, pour your batter
into your cake pans.

(sighs in annoyance)

Again with the pouring.

I can't pour.

I don't have thumbs.

Hey, let's just dump everything
onto the floor,

mix it there, and then
scratch it into the cake pans.

(Skits barking in agreement)

(clanging)

Uh-huh.

Yes, dear, I'm heading
to the bakery right now.

Why is Martha borrowing
groceries from the neighbors?

Huh. And I was worried
I couldn't cook.

Turn on the oven,

set the temperature
at degrees

and bake for minutes.

Turn on the oven?

Turn on the oven?

Dogs can't turn on ovens!

MARTHA:
Howie! Howie!

Wait up!

Thanks for helping
us out, Howie.

Happy to help, Martha.

Now, we wait minutes,
and then we take the cake out.

(Skits barks inquisitively)

Actually, no.

I don't know how long
minutes is...

but we've got a bigger problem
than that.

I can't open the oven.

(whines in disappointment)

Hey, I've got an idea.

And you can absolutely guarantee
delivery in minutes?

(muffled voice murmuring)

In that case, I'd like
a pizza delivery, please.

MARTHA:
Gee, thanks, Pete.

Oh, and just put the pizza
on our bill.

Never seen a dog
bake before.

Oh, oh, oh,
it's Helen!

She's here!

What's that smell?

Someone's
been baking.

(Skits barking)
MARTHA:
Surprise!

(Skits panting, barking)

We baked you
a cake, Helen.

From scratch!

A cake?

From scratch?

MARTHA:
Uh-huh, to
cheer Helen up.

Go on, Helen,
try it.

Oh, Martha... I can't eat this.

It's, uh...

Too special to eat.

Uh, that's right.

It's too special.

But you have to.

It's a cheer-you-up cake.

How can you get cheered up
if you don't eat it?

But I am cheered up.

I don't think I could
get any more cheery.

This is the best present ever.

(door opening, closing)

Who wants cake?

Silly me.

I didn't know my dog
talked and baked,

so I had Dad
pick up a cake.

How about
if I eat Dad's cake

and keep yours
forever and ever?

Well, it's a waste of
cake, if you ask me.

(gasps)

I have a better idea.

(slurping)

Delicious!

If I do say so myself.

MOM:
Come on, Jakey.

I've got to get you cleaned
up and ready for bed.

Uh-oh.

(Mom gasps)
My rug!

You have to cr*ck
a few eggs to bake a cake.

(sighs)
I didn't think that was
ever going to come out.

I guess we should
have blended

all those ingredients
in bowls and not on the rug.

(Skits barks in confusion)

Blend-- when you
blend something,

you mix one thing
with another.

HELEN:
Like you blend red paint
with yellow paint

to make orange paint.

Or you blend a spoon
with a fork,

and you get a spork.

Or you blend strawberries
and yogurt

to make a strawberry smoothie.

MARTHA:
And if you blended Skits
with a giraffe,

you'd get a "Skigaffe".

Hey, drop some
of that food down here.

(Skits moans)

Oh, come on, if I were a
"Margaffe", I'd share with you.

Aw, please.

Look!

Grimbles is giving out
free samples.

Let's get some.

You won't like it.

How do you know?

Uh, it isn't food.

Oh, bummer.

Want a spritz?

(sniffs)

What is it?

From the way
they're spritzing,

I think it's perfume.

Perfume? (groans)

Why do people
wear that stuff?

They like to smell good.

If people really
wanted to smell good,

they'd roll in bacon.

(sniffs)
I don't think it
smells good at all.

(sniffs, groans)

Neither do I.

It smells like dog.

(sniffs)

(groans in disgust)

Looks like it's bath time again.

What? I just had one
last month.

There ought to be some way
around bathing.

(sniffs)

(sighs)

Hey, that's it!

(sniffs)

(groans)

Your dogs are stink-a-riffic.

You should give them a bath.

Martha and Skits
don't get baths.

We just use this perfume.

One spritz, and they
both smell great.

(sniffs)

Light, fresh,
with a hint of bacon.

I like it.

Hey, your bath!

Follow me.

If this works, I'll never
have to bathe again.

You want my dad
to invent a dog perfume?

Yeah, one that's
really strong

so I'll never have
to take a bath again.

Can't be done.
Why not?

Perfume stinks.

Put stinky perfume
on a stinky dog,

and pee-ew, stink overload.

There's got to be a way.

No, I think Martha's
on to something.

I am?

I mean, you bet I am!

Ecologically speaking,
think how much water

would be saved
if dogs didn't bathe.

This has enormous implications
for the planet.

See, I'm not even
thinking of me.

I'm thinking of the planet.

I'd be happy to concoct
a perfume for you.

(sniffs)

The sooner,
the better.

MARTHA:
Concocting sounds hard.

Why don't you
just make one instead?

I am.

"Concoct" means
to make something

by mixing different things
together.

MARTHA:
Oh, are you concocting
my perfume right now?

No, I'm concocting
my lunch.

(sniffs, sighs)

Pea soup-- want some?

(groaning in disgust)

Hmm.

Very interesting.

According to this book,

perfumes have five
fragrance families.

Floral, which means it smells
like flowers.

(blowing)

(barks)

Citrus, which means it smells
citrusy like a...

like a lemon or an orange.

(screaming)

Woodsy.

TD:
Timber!

(grunts)

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

OG:
Green, which means it's fresh,
like grass or herbs.

TD:
You need a trim!

Or spicy.

(Arabian music playing)

Like pepper or cinnamon.

(hoarsely):
Water... water.

(sputtering)

That's not what I meant.

Is there a bacon
fragrance family?

Um, no.

Can you concoct one?

You might be on to something,
my canine companion.

I'll have
to ponder that,

but first things first.

TD!

Helen!

What are we doing?

We should be in the lab
concocting perfume.

We have to find the
ingredients first.

Perfume has ingredients?

Uh-huh, to make perfume,
you don't just use one smell.

You combine
several different smells.

(stammering):
Combine?

Does that mean you
mix things together?

Yeah.

(sniffs) Ew!

Whatever smells we do combine

will have to be really strong
to cover this up.

Smell.
Um, that's okay.

I believe you.

No, really,
you have to smell this.

No, TD!

(sniffs)
Meh.

Thanks.

Do you like
the floral smell?

(sniffs) Meh.

(sniffing)

But that...

Flippin' fajitas,
that smells good.

Martha, garbage
is not perfume.

Says who?

Says everybody but dogs.

(sniffing)

(screams)

(groans)

Oh, great.

Now I have
to take a bath.

Ah, sorry about that, TD.

Once your Dad makes my perfume,
you can use it, too.

Hmm.

No, really.

It's been nine months,
three weeks, six days,

hours and minutes
since I've had a bath.

You'd never know it,
would you?

What are we standing
around here for?

Let's get those ingredients.

Think Martha will like
the smell of this grass?

I don't know.

She tends to eat it,
not smell it.

You guys,
come quick!

I found the perfect ingredient
for my perfume!

It's strong,

it's fresh,
and it has real sticking power.

(laughing)

Ooh!

What an aroma.

Bewitching, isn't it?

Martha!

We can't put that
in a perfume.

Hmm? Why not?

Because we're trying to make
you smell better, not worse.

Uh, sorry about that, TD.

(chuckles)

Like any of these?

(sniffing)

Uh, they're okay.

But this shoe...

(sniffing)

divine!

(laughs)

(sniffing)

This is hopeless.

Your dog's idea of
a great perfume is garbage,

foot stink and swampy fish goo.

Mmm, fish goo.

(chuckles)

Are you concocting now?

Nope.

Now that we have
the ingredients,

we have to
separate them.

Separate?

You mean split them up
into different groups?

Uh-huh.

Separating is
like sorting.

Why are you separating
the ingredients?

I thought you had to combine
them to make perfume.

Quite right, my furry friend.

But before combining,
we extract.

And before we extract,
we separate.

Extract?

You're going to extract?

I love to extract!

Ouch.

How do you extract?

"Extract" means to pull
something out of something else.

Like I just extracted
this burr from your foot.

And I just extracted a potato
chip from Helen's plate.

With perfume, you extract scents

from different things
in different ways.

Wood is tough,

so you use alcohol
to extract its scent.

But herbs and grasses
are more fragile.

You extract their fragrances

by steaming them.

These bottles each contain
a separate extract.

We'll combine them to create
the perfect fragrance.

But beware.

Not all fragrances
smell good together.

Some scents, when blended,
really stink.

(sniffing)

(groans)

A drop holds a
lot of smell.

You're telling me.

Where are
you going?

To take another bath.

(sniffs)

(sniffing)

Hmm.

It needs a drop of something.

Why don't you spray
your own arm?

Because yours
already stinks.

(sniffing)

Add a drop of lavender
and two drops of clove.

(sniffing)

Too much.

(sniffing)
Hmm, not enough.

(sniffing)

(sniffing)

That's it!

I'm all sprayed out.

TD, you can't give up.

It's no use.

You guys have
sprayed me so much,

my nose can't keep things
separate anymore.

I'm one big cloud of stink.

I'm not giving up.

Helen, are you crazy?

How can you keep going?

Smell her.

She sleeps
in my room.

If I don't come up
with a perfume soon,

my nose is going
to fall off my face.

(sniffing)

(groans)

Okay.

(sneezes)

Whew!

This perfume is getting to me.

Getting to you?

(sneezes)

Stop spraying me!

OG:
I've got it!The missing ingredient!

One drop of this,

and we'll have our perfume.

I don't think anyone's
sprayed me there yet.

Okay, Martha,
what do you think?

(sniffing)

Ooh.

Yes. Yes!

What's in there?

Extract of bacon.

Imperceptible to humans,

but to a dog's
highly sensitive nose...

Bow wow!

Precisely.

But is it strong enough
to cover dog stink?

There's only one
way to find out.

Come here and
get a spritz.

(all sniffing)

I don't
believe it!

It worked!

No more dog stink!

OG, on behalf of dogs
everywhere,

I thank you.

(dogs barking)

(Martha panting)

Quick! Helen!

Give me a bath!

What?

It's the bacon.

It's driving the
other dogs wild.

Tell your dad thanks for
trying to help us out.

Sure.

(groans)

What?
That perfume,

it's in my nose.

Everything tastes like bacon.

Bacon flavored yogurt.

Yum!

Want to go to my house and watch
Courageous Collie Carlo?

Sure!

(sniffing)

Mmm!

Just let me get
Martha's perfume.

(gasps)

Oh, no!

Maybe it smells
different on people.

Eh.

(dogs barking)

(screaming)

Told you that bacon
would be a big hit.

(barking)

Trust me, it's a simple matter
of combining and separating.

First, we combine our strength
and knock over the garbage can.

(barking)

(grunts)

Now, we separate
the good stuff from the trash.

(garbage rustling, clinking)

Good stuff.

(garbage rustling, clinking)

Oh, oh, Skits, mmm,
you got to try this.

Combine that and that.

Yum!

(groans)

I wish I could separate
this from its wrapper.

(clears throat)

Uh-oh.

Quick, Skits,
let's separate ourselves

from the scene of the crime!

(sighs)

We've already mixed
in that ingredient.

It needs a
drop more.

(laughs):
I don't think so.

Oh. Welcome back!

Did you extract
all of today's words?

Enjoy the clips.

A recipe.

It's like directions
for making food.

It gives you a list of things
you need to make something

and tells you
what to put in and when.

"Concoct" means
to make something

by mixing different things
together.

Ingredients are things you need
to make something.

Bye.

See you next time.