05x15 - Grub Snub/She's All Bat

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show
our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

Gus' Games & Grub,
you never disappoint.

After a long week
of sixth grade,

there's nowhere
I'd rather throw back

a few cold glasses of water.

[slurps]
Ahh, that's good tap.

all:
[slurp] Ahh.

- One spaghetti pizza
for my favorite customers.

all: Mmm.

- I only make this
for my most regular regulars.

Speaking of, Stella,
I found your hoodie,

washed it, then dried it
in the pizza oven.

- Ooh, pizza-pressed.

Hey, there's a pepperoni
in my sleeve.

Mmm.

- Liam, we got your special
seat cushion right here.

- Aw, nothing better
on your behind

than a bale of hay.

- And, Rust Man,
heard the good news

about your report card.

As promised, here's
a game token for every "A."

- Yes!
Thank you, wood shop.

- And thank you, Gus,
for making us feel like family.

- You're welcome, kids.
Enjoy that pizza.

[door bell chimes]

- Oh, Lincoln,
isn't that your sister?

- Hey, Lincoln.

It's, like, totes packed
in here.

Mind if we share your booth?

- Well, it's already...

[all grunt]
Full.

- [gasps]
Is that spaghetti pizza?

- Yum!
- We're starving.

- Ooh, can I have a slice?

- Oh, well, I guess.

[all gobbling]
- [burps]

- So what are you guys
doing here?

- Yeah, don't you guys usually
hang out at the mall?

- Usually, but Dim Yum
is closed.

- Yeah, but the Skee-Ball
is open.

Come on, let's play some games!

- Yay!
- Aw, yeah.

- They ate all of our pizza.

Now they're playing
all of our games?

- No, they're taking over
this place

like skeeters on a sugar sucker!

- Guys, it's okay.
It's only for an afternoon.

We can still have fun.

- [grunts]

[all cheering]

- Mind if I get next?
I don't get "A" s very often.

- Sorry, dude, Miguel's
gonna be here for a while.

He's on a roll.
- Yeah!

- Only , more tickets,
and he has enough to win

the Rip Hardcore waffle iron!

- ♪ Waffles ♪

- I've been saving up
my tickets for years

trying to win that!
[groans]

- Sorry, Clyde.

Maybe this will make you
feel better.

Scuse me, Gus, Clyde here
needs a garlic knot pick-me-up.

- Ah, sorry, Lincoln.

I just served up my last order.

[all munching]

- [smooches, giggles]

- O-M-gosh, this was totes fun.

This place is great.
Who knew?

- We did.
Anyways, thanks for coming.

Have fun at Dim Yum tomorrow!

- Ooh, sorry,
we weren't clear before.

We meant Dim Yum is closed...
forever.

[all gasp]
- [coughs]

- See you guys tomorrow!

- And you better believe
your boy's getting his hands

on the rest of that
Rip Hardcore kitchenware line.

- Don't worry, guys.

I'll make them see
that this is our hangout.

I'll be friendly but persuasive,

charming but mature,
casual but firm.

Please, please, please,
please, please!

- I'm really sorry, Lincoln,
but Gus' is the only hangout

that works for all
of my friends.

- Seriously?
There's nowhere else?

What about the Burpin' Burger?

- How dare you?
I'm recently vegetarian.

- Okay, what about
the Burnt Bean?

- I don't do hot liquids.

- Well, what about the...
- Ah, ah, ah.

We could do this all day,
but we're not going to.

See ya tomorrow.

- Hmm.

- [growls]

We cannot sit by
while our hangout is taken over

by garlic knot-loving teenagers.

We need to reclaim Gus',

our beloved home away from home,

because they may take
our waffle irons,

but they will not take
our freedom!

- Could you get your foot
off my sandwich?

- Oops.

Sorry.

- Uh, Lincoln,

super inspirational
speech and all,

but how do we get rid
of Leni and her friends?

- Do you think I would've
stomped on Rusty's lunch

if I didn't have a plan?

- That ought to do it.

Now all the games look
off-limits.

- [gasps]

- O-M-gosh!
An arcade just for VIPs!

- Girl, I only do VIP.
[chuckles]

[all exclaiming]

- Yes, yes, I did it!

[all groan]

- Time for plan B.
Clyde, you're up.

- They're gonna know it's me.

- That's what the disguise
is for.

- Now I'm nervous,
and I can't see!

- Go get 'em, buddy.

[indistinct chatter]

- Do you have
any special pizzas today?

- Uh, no!

Actually, we don't have
any pizza at all...

or pasta or food.

- Aw!

- Guess we should go, guys.
- Hey, g*ng!

The Royal Woods Men's Choir
ordered this GusBuster,

but they got called away
on a singing emergency.

You want?
- Ahh!

- Amazing.
- Yes!

[all groan]

- Time for plan C:
Gus' famous ice bar.

- Which ice we going with?

Cubed, shaved, flaked,
still, sparkling, diet?

- Nope, pebbled.
Leni hates it.

She says it's like chewing
baby rocks.

Liam, think you can get these
into her cup from over here?

- You're darn tootin' I can!

[grunting]

[laughter]

- [slurps, screams] Ew!

Ugh, baby rocks, ugh!

- Ma'am, what's wrong?
- It's that awful ice.

I can still feel it in my mouth,

and it's stressing me out.

- Then Gus' shall provide
a way to relax.

Get comfortable; you're
gonna be here for a while.

- Ahh.

- Gah!
That's it!

Leni, we're done
with you hanging out here.

- Yeah, now, get!

Don't make us huck more ice
at y'all.

- The baby rocks was you?

Not cool, Lincoln.

- Yeah, if you're gonna pull
dirty tricks,

there's no way we're leaving.

- There's only one way
to settle this.

We have a competition to see

who gets to call Gus'
their hangout.

Losers are banned forever.

- Let's do it.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Gus' Game-a-Thon.

Here's how this works:

we compete in a series
of challenges.

The group
with the most Gus points wins.

Round one.

Whoever eats the most hot wings
gets a Gus point.

You and me, Leni.
Go!

[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

[both growl]

- I'm sorry.
I just can't!

- Ahh!
Hot sauce in my eyes!

- Ahh, that's the end
of round one.

It's Team Lincoln, one;
Team Leni, zero.

- [gasps, sighs]

- Round two.

Whoever crosses
the finish line first

gets a Gus point.

On your marks.
Get set. Go!

- You aren't gonna win
if you don't speed it up.

- The skies are not
a playground, Rusty.

- How is Clyde b*ating you?

- Flying is hard.

Plus, I'm afraid of heights.

- Don't worry, I got this.

There's a fashion show in Paris

that you totes don't want
to miss.

- [gasps]
- Yeah!

- Ooh, ooh!
One Gus point for Team Leni!

- [grunts]

- Ahh!

[crash]

- Round three.

The claw game.

Grab a prize, get a Gus point.

- [gasps]

- [scoffs] This thing is broken.

- [grunts]

[gasps]

Told ya I was good at hoisting.

I been forklifting on the farm

since before I could midwife
a hog.

- Gus point to Team Lincoln.

The score is two to one.

- Huh?
Ahh!

Oof!

[both grunting]

- [gasps]

- Ha!

- Two to two.

- Oof!

- Yes!

[group cheering]

- Three to two!

- Hmm.

Ahh!

This is really not my day.

- [grunting]

[groans]

- [grunting]

[both gasp]

- Three to three.

[group cheering]

- That's how we do it!

- Whoa! Whoa!
Ow, ooh.

- The score is tied as we come
to the final round:

dance battle.

[fast dance music]
- [grunting]

- Boo-boo-boop.

- [grunting]

[both grunting]

- Whoa, this is
really heating up.

No, I'm serious.
You need to stop.

My machine is about to break.

- But we don't have
a winner yet.

- Keep dancing, everyone!

- Ow, that's my toe!

- Ahh!
- Ahh!

[all clamoring]

- Come on, guys.

[people screaming]

[suspenseful music]

- Ahh!

- Ow!
- Oof!

- Is it over?
Did we win?

[both gasp]

- [groaning] [siren wailing]

- Uh, I think we all lost.

[both groan]

- You know
what the worst part is?

- All the splinters in my butt?

- I'm still so hungry.

[sobs]

- Leni, I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry too.

We shouldn't have just
barged in and taken over.

Gus' was your place first.

- Thanks, but I shouldn't have
made such a big deal

about you guys sharing it.

Now none of us have a place
to hang out.

- Oh, don't you worry.

I know how all of you
can still hang out here.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Guys, look, the booth is done.

- But wait,
who gets to sit in it?

- All of us.
Check this out.

- Wow!
- Awesome!

- Ooh-whee, it's roomier
than a barn after...

[both scream]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Guess the seats
still need work.

- Wow, this place looks great!

Who wants a spaghetti pizza?

- Thanks, Gus.
Can we get ours to go... aah!

[spooky upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[owl hooting]

- Spirits, we beseech thee.

Make thy presence known.

- Ahh!

- The spirits are on the move.

Let's go.

[heavy breathing]
Gasp.

- Look, our familiars
have found something

from beyond the grave.

[crow caws, chomps]

- Yowch!
Shoo, shoo!

Go on, get!

- Sigh, why must they
always be alive?

- Oh, there you kids are.

- Hello there,
Principal Huggins.

- I was sent here
with a very important matter

to discuss with your club.

- School Clubs Act of ?

- It states all clubs must have
at least seven members.

- How oddly specific.

- You need to have
another member by tomorrow,

or your club must disband.

- But no, this can't be!
- This cannot be.

- Sorry, kids,
but rules are rules.

Good luck.

[crow caws, chomps]
Aah!

- Fear not, we'll just show
everyone at school

how great our club is.

Then they'll be dying to join.
Ha-ha, ha.

♪ ♪

- Join the Morticians Club,
and you, too, can do this.

- [grunts]

[all scream]

- Our club has
its very own crow.

[crow cawing]

[people screaming]

- [gasps]

[screams]

- Sigh, we asked everyone
at school,

and they said no.

'Twas the final nail
in our coffin.

The Morticians Club is dead.

- Wait, there's one person
we haven't asked.

- It's Lola!

[cheers and applause]

[elegant music]

- [sighs] Lola's our last hope.

Lucy, you have to go ask her
to join.

- I, uh, never interrupt Lola
while she's strutting.

Family rule.

Uh, no, please.

[whimpering]

Guys, you don't understand.

She doesn't like
funeral marches.

She won't wear black.

Trust me, she's not right
for our club.

- This is the only way.

- Fine.

- [laughs] Remember,
I do private pageant coaching.

My usual hourly rate applies.

- Lola, I have to ask you
something.

The Morticians Club
needs one more member,

or we'll have to break up.

Would you join?
What, not interested?

Well, thanks anyway.

- Wait!

Believe it or not,
there is a heart

under all this fabulousness.

I have always considered it
my personal mission

to spread glitter and glamour
to every corner of this earth.

So yes, I'll join.

all: Yay.

- Yay.

[wolf howls]

I call this meeting to order.

- Psst, Lucy,

shall we start with a few words
from our new member?

- Oh, I didn't prepare a speech.

- That's okay, Lola...
- JK, JK.

[clears throat]

For as long as she can remember,

Lola Loud has been a giver.

It all started when... [gasps]

- Well said.
Thank you for your words.

- Oh, hey... whoa!

- Time to review old business.

Dante, how are the club cloaks
coming?

- [laughs]

- Blech!

- Perfect,
any other old business?

- Um, yeah, this chill out here
is getting "old,"

and my "business" is freezing.

- We like
the bone-chilling cold.

- Actually, it is pretty chilly.

- She is right.
- I agree.

- I say we go back to my place
for some yummy rose hip tea.

- Boris wants yummy tea.

- Grumble.

Now that we're settled,

I'll demonstrate
funeral makeup techniques.

Any volunteers?
- Me, me.

- Okay, Boris.

- [gasps]

Sorry, it's just, um,
why not add a hint of color

for the afterlife, eh?

May I?

- I suppose.
- But nothing too lively.

- This will be a total disaster.

- Voilà!
- Gasp.

all: Gasp.

- It's still Boris, only better.

- Funeral glam me next!
- No, me!

- Grr.

[indistinct chanting]

Patience, everyone.

Keep chanting
your hypnotic spells.

- [laughing]

- Lola, this spell doesn't
include ribbons.

- I'm just trying
to liven it up.

- It doesn't need...

[frogs ribbiting]

- [gasps]

- Whoa, look at those frogs!
- Whoa.

- Lola, can you teach us that?

And do you have
any black ribbons?

- Oh, sweetie,
Lola Loud has everything.

- I knew Lola would take over
my club.

That dumb School Clubs Act
ruined everything.

I wish Principal Huggins
had never found it.

Wait, that gives me an idea.

Ha-ha-ha, ha, ha.

- Lucy, please.

Your diabolical laughter is
upsetting my unstable isotopes.

- [whispering]
Ha, ha-ha, ha, ha, ha.

[crow cawing]

- Is the wig too much?

- Not at all, you bring
goth glam to a whole new level.

- Whoo-hoo.

- Hey there, kids.

- Principal Huggins,
such a surprise.

What are you doing here?

- I found this taped
to my computer monitor.

Don't know how I missed it
before.

It's the School Clubs Amendment
of .

Cancels out
the seven-member rule.

As you were, then.

[crows cawing]
Aah!

- Well, Lola, looks like
you don't have to stay

in the club anymore.

Thank you for your service.

Please accept this cloak
as our parting gift.

Get home safe.

- Oh, um, okay.

Well, I guess I'll be on my way.

[sad music]

- All right, any old business?

- I want Lola to stay
in the club.

I've never felt so fabulous.

- She really mixed things up.

- I enjoyed her upbeat presence.

- Boris too.

[horn beeps]

- Never left!

I was hoping you'd want me
to stay.

I'm having such fun,

and I've got
so many great ideas!

Three words:
goth beauty pageant!

[all gasp]
- Gasp!

- Grr, I have to get Lola out
before she ruins my club,

but how?

- Aah!
Sky demons!

Get me out of here!

- That's it, I'll scare her out.

Ha-ha, ha-ha.

[eerie music]

- Ugh, you know, Lucy,
I don't actually believe

you can see my future
in that cheap hunk of glass.

- Gasp, I see a pageant.

- [gasps]
Is it Little Miss Sugar Beet?

Who wins?
Tell me.

- I see it now.

You've just finished
the talent portion.

- Yeah?
What else?

- They're tabulating scores.

- [whimpering nervously]

- And the winner is...

Lindsay Sweetwater.

- No!
Why would you tell me that?

- Just another great perk of
being in the Morticians Club:

having your fortune told
every week.

- [groaning]

- Good thing fortunes
can be changed.

- They can?
How?

- I just read the new issue
of "Modern Enchantress."

It has a stage fright spell
that might come in handy

on a certain Miss Sweetwater.

- Tell me more, sweetie.

I might just be
Morticians Club material

after all.

[laughter]

[bat squeaks]

- Time to dial it up
to scare level two.

♪ ♪

- Why are we even meeting
out here anyway?

- It's just our weekly
"spin" class.

- Oh, good!

I've been meaning to work
on my glutes.

- Not that kind of spinning.

[spiders chittering]

- [shrieks]

[hyperventilating]

- This is Debra.
She likes to cuddle.

- Gah!
Get that thing away from me!

- Ah... ah-choo!

- Oh!

[gasps]
Boris, my -foot angel!

Mwah!

- [growls] No more kid stuff.

Time for scare level .

Ready, everyone?

I have a feeling the ghosts
will be very active

this evening.
- [gulps]

- Spirits, give us a sign
you are amongst us.

I said give us a sign.

[bat squeaks]

[ghostly moans playing]

Our spirit must be
in that crypt.

[ghostly moans playing]

I'll go inside and coax it out.

- I swear, if it's
Principal Huggins again,

I'm outta here.

- Quick, Fangs.
Costume me.

♪ ♪

Lola Loud,

I was once a young
and beautiful pageant queen

like you.

I must devour
your youthful essence.

- [screams]

♪ ♪

- [moaning]

[crow caws]

- [screams]
- Shriek.

all: Gasp!

- Lucy? Wait a minute.

Were you trying to scare me?

- Sigh, yes.

I wanted to make you quit
the club.

- Oh, okay, fine.
I'll leave, then.

- Lola, wait.

- Wow, that was cold-blooded

but not in a good way.

- [groans]

[soft music]

- Hmph!

Mr. Sprinkles, tell this person

I never wish to speak
to her again.

- Lola, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have treated you
like that.

It's just... I'm jealous of you.

- Hmm?

- You always steal the spotlight

with your charm and talent.

The Morticians Club was
the one place I could shine.

So when you joined,
I felt threatened.

I know it's silly.

- Not necessarily.

Believe it or not, I feel
the exact same way about Lisa.

All that stinking genius and
inventions to save humanity.

[gags]
Annoying.

- So you forgive me?
- Mm-hmm.

- Hug.

How about giving the club

another funeral makeup
demonstration?

I'd be happy to be your corpse.

- Sorry, I'm gonna pass
and resign my membership.

Go shine on your own.

[expl*si*n]

- Oops, sorry!
- [growls]

- I was just splitting atoms.
- [laughs]

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪