03x21 - w*r

[bunniefuu]

(man) please state your name
for the record.

Violet Maryann Turner.

Why are we here today,
dr. Turner?

I'm here for my son lucas.

I want to share custody
of him.

Your son is almost
a year old, yes?

In two weeks.

In--in 2 weeks,
he'll be 1.

So why now?

After virtually no contact
for almost a year,

Why are you now ready
to be a mother to lucas?

(violet) I'm here
for the job interview.

Dr. Sicher
is waiting for you.

Right this way.

Dr. Turner is here.

Dr. Turner. Hi there.

I'm dr. Ellen sicher.

Come on in.

Boy, your résumé looks great.

You have no idea.

Oh, I have been
looking and looking

For someone
who shares my philosophy

To take over for me
while I'm on maternity leave.

So can I ask what, uh,
what brings you to new york?

E-excuse me?

Can I ask
why you're leaving l.A.

And your current practice?

Oh, um, well, I was...

Um, on vacation
in costa rica,

And, um...

I'm sorry. I didn't...

I didn't know you were...

♪

(voice breaking)
you're having a baby...

Which is, um...

Violet.

Yes.

Uh... You're crying.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

I will go.

No, no. Violet...

Do you want to talk?

♪

(toilet flushes)

(man)
♪ and carry me away ♪

♪ to the place ♪

♪

(addison) so what do you
want me to say?

(pete) just do
what the lawyer said.

Be respectful and emphasize
the fact that I've been

The constant caregiver
in lucas' life.

So you want me to be nice?

Be honest.

No, see, honest isn't nice.

I mean, this is
a custody ttle.

It'sot nice.

You're just nervous.

No, I'm not, pete.

I mean, you're trying to keep
lucas out of violet's hands,

And I want to help,
but, you know,

I work with violet.

You know, I mean, she's
a friend of mine... Sort of.

So, you know, you gotta
tell me what you want, pete--

Honest or nice?
Be honest.

♪

(woman) do you believe

That violet turner
is a fit mother?

(judge) please answer
the queson.

♪

No. I do not believe
violet turner is a fit mother.

♪

Captioned by
closed captioning services, inc.

(judge) ms. Broome?

(broome) mr. Parker, you have
an 8-year-old daughter?

(dell) yes.

Your wife d*ed in a fire
caused by her drug abuse--

A fire that your daughter
almost d*ed in, too, correct?

Uh, I thought my wife
was clean.

Uh, I didn't--I didn't know.

Mr. Parker, I'm sorry,
but isn't it true that you

Didn't allow your daughter
to say good-bye

To her dying mother?

(inhales sharply)

Mr. Parker?

Y-uh... (sighs)

Heather's--my wife's face
was badly b*rned,

And I didn't want--I wanted
to spare my daughter

Seeing her that way.
Is that the reason?

Or did you feel
your wife was unstable

And undeserving
of seeing your daughter?

No further questions,
your honor.

She looks upset.
I'm gonna go in now.

No, leave her alone.
She got b*at up in court today

Char.

Hey, can I get you
some food?

Or a martini?
You don't give someone liquor
who's clearly upset about--

Liquor is exactly what
you offer someone--
I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'll be fine.
I just need to, um...

Hey, uh, this is the third
message I'm leaving.

Please come back.

I need, uh...

I need someone
who's on my side.

I'm on her side.

You sure about that?

(sighs)

So when violet found out
she was pregnant,

You moved in with her?
Yes, I wanted
to lend her my support.

You're a very good friend,
dr. Freedman.
It's easy to be
a good friend to violet.

She's a good frien me.

Dr. Freedman,

Did you meet your girlfriend
on an internet sex site?

I met my ex-girlfriend
on a site

Where adults
go to meet other adults.

Do I--do we--is this--

Ms. Broome, unless you can
get there real fast...
Different area, then.

You have a reputation
as a pediatrician who'd go

To any length to protect
his patients, do you not?

I believe in keeping
my patients safe.

In fact, didn't you recently
spend some time in jail

Protecting a child
you believed was being abused?

Yes. I'm proud of that.

Are you really prepared
to turn a baby over

To a woman with obvious
mental health issues?

(woman) objection.
Argumentative.

Sustained.

If lucas were your patient

And not the child
of your closest friend,

Would you think
that shared custody

Would be in his best interest?

Given everything
she's been through,

You really think
violet turner is a fit mother?

I'm just saying

That maybe the two of you
should talk, pete.

You know, there's a way
to be decent about this.

Do you have any e-mails from
violet where she mentions lucas?

We work in the office next door
to each other. We don't e-mail.
I'm just asking.

Well, I'm just telling you.
What do you want me to do,
lose this thing?

Do you want me to--
to hand over my kid to her

For half of every week?
Shared custody
is not the worst thing--

No.
Pete--

No!
(crying)

Okay, shh, shh.

Okay, shh.

Shh. It's okay.
Here. Okay, here.

It's okay. Shh, shh, shh.
Give him to me.
Give him to me.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
(continues crying)

Oh, sweetie, it's okay.

I'm sorry.
(continues crying)

Oh, I'm sorry.
(kisses)

(paper rustles)

Where is she?

She said she'll be here.

She'll be here.
(speaking inaudibly)

Your honor, our next witness
is traveling

From quite a distance.

S just moments away.

I'm afraid if your witness
is not here, then--

I call dr. Naomi bennett
as our next witness.

It's easy for everyone else

Just to talk about how violet
should just get on with her life

And just move on,

But when life throws you
a curveball, it's not easy.

So you can empathize
with violet's, uh,

Inability to move on?

I do.
Because of your relationship
with your own daughter?

You are estranged, correct?

Much the same way that violet
is estranged from her son.

We were for a brief time,
but things are better now.
So you support

Your 15 year old's pregnancy
and marriage?

No.

Are you talking with her?

We just n-need
a little space.

Do you believe
that your need for space

From your own child

Allows you to accept violet's
behavior toward her child?

No, no, no, that is not it.

No, I was... I was with pete.

I was there
when he found her,

Just minutes
after the tack...

I mean, and her baby
in a pool ojust gone.Blood.

(exhales)

(voice breaking)
there are no words

To adequately convey

The horror
of what she went through

And what I witnessed.

The image of her
like that...

It still haunts my dreams,

And, uh...
And so does the guilt

Of being powerless
to help her

Or help her find lucas.

If that still terrorizes me,
I-I can't even imagine...

How it's affected violet.

And, uh, I have compassion
for her...

For my friend.

(mouths words)

Whew.

(indistinct conversations)

(ellen) so what happened
when you opened the door

And katie was
on the other side of it?

I already told you.
I was att*cked.
Yeah, but what happened?

What did katie do?
How did you react?

What were you feeling
during the att*ck?

I can't talk about
the att*ck anymore.
You've discussed it?

With whom?
I have worked through
the att*ck,

And now I want to focus on
getting back to my life.
We have talked about this.

I mean, I've told you that.
I--no. Just... No.

Violet,
you cannot shrink yourself.

I know that you want to have
control over this situation,

Most likely because you didn't
have control over the att*ck.

I get it. But it's not gonna
help you get through this.

Now you've been seeing me
for some time now.

And I assume that you...

Came to me
because you want my help.

So let me help you.

Okay?

Okay.

So... What happened
when you opened the door?

(rainfall)

Katie jabbed a needle
into my arm.

And then?

(thunder rumbles)

Sometimes p.T.S.D.

Causes flashbacks
or intense fear,

Hypervigilance, numbness
or avoidance.

Have you treed
violet turner for p.T.S.D.?

Counseled her?

Well, I'm her friend,
her ex-boyfriend,

And... It's a funny story,
actually.

I... (laughs)

I was almost lucas' father.

Excuse me. How exactly
is that possible?

Well, violet and I
were dating

When she srted sleeping
with pete.

Uh, which is to say, uh...

Not that she's promiscuous.
She's not.

It's just that she, um...

Well, it was a confusing time
for all of us, I think.

And, um... My point was

That none of us knew
who the father was

Until a few weeks
after lucas was born,

So I naturally became
very attached to him.

Dr. Turner didn't know
dr. Wilder was the father

When she turned the child
over to him?

Not definitively, no.

Back to the question. Have you
ever treated violet turner?

No. Given our history,

Being her therapist
would be a breach of ethics.

So given her behavior,

Her inability
to connect with her son

After the att*ck,

Do you believe
that violet turner

Suffers from p.T.S.D.?

Objection. Dr. Wallace is not
called as an expert witness

Nor as dr. Turner's
psychiatrist.

You don't
have to answer that.

(speaking inaudibly)

I suspect violet suffers
from p.T.S.D.

Hey. Thank you
so much for coming.

Oh, god. I wouldn't have
missed this for the world.

Oh, I'm just so sorry.
I'm so sorry

That you have to
go through all this.

And, uh, I hope
this isn't my fault.

When you were gone and you
couldn't be there for lucas...

I...

I encouraged addison
to be there.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We're gonna fight this.

We're gonna fight, and you're
gonna get your son back.

Okay.
Absolutely.

Alright?
All right.

We call dr. Amelia shepherd
to the stand.

P.T.S.D. Causes identifiable
neural correlates.

Uh, and we can see them clearly
in an m.E.G. Scan.

Here we see that violet has

High abnormal activity
in the temporal lobes

As well as atrophy
in the hippocampus.

Both are consistent
with p.T.S.D.

Can you interpret
these findings?

There is evidence that p.T.S.D.
Is a physical disease.

Which means?
It's treatable.

Talk therapy,
antianxiety dr*gs?

Both are traditional routes.

Personally, I would treat it
with beta-blockers.

P.T.S.D. Manifests with
a host of physical symptoms--

Rapid heart rate,
shortness of breath.

Take away the physical response
from the memories,

And you've taken away
the condition.

So what you're saying is,
dr. Turner could be treated

As easily as prescribing
a heart medication?

That's what I'm saying.
This is a physical ailment.

w*r vets, victims of abuse,

People who have beenn
accidents--they all get it.

We're not trying to take
their kids away from them.

Give the woman
back her child.

(addison) pete--

Okay, you...
Are not welcome here anymore.

Whoa. First, screw you,

And second,
this is not your house.

This is addison's house.
Come on.
Amelia--

Look, look, we have to go
pick up lucas anyway.

Let's just stay
at your house tonight.
No. Pack and leave.

Pete, let's just--
I was called to testify, I got
on the stand, I told the truth.

You've been out of
medical school for five minutes.
Okay--

You come to my custody hearing,
a custody hearing for my son...
Who do you think--what?

Okay, you guys--
I am a board certified
neurosurgeon.

And you start spouting some
psuedo-sentific crap--
(amelia and addison
yelling over each other)

U know what? I'll be
at my house if you need me.
Addie, what are you doing?
I mean, you are letting him--

It's his child.
(door opens and closes)

Yeah?
Well, the way he's acting,

Maybe he's the one
with p.T.S.D.

(woman)
when you say "abandonment"--

That's what it was.

Violet abandoned our child.

That's a strong word,
"abandonment."

Another strong word is "hate."

Have you ever hated anyone,
dr. Wilder?

Not that I know of.

You were married, correct?

Yes.

What happened to your wife?

(clears throat) she d*ed.

How did you feel
about her death?

Did you ever say
that you hated your wife

And you felt nothing
about her death?

Yes.

I don't care who she's been
to you in the past.

Today violet is your enemy,

And we're fighting
for lucas' life.

Now do you want to win this
or not?

Violet turner's
a great mother.
(broome)
it doesn't give you pause

That violet
gave her baby away to pete?

Violet knew her limits
and asked for help.

She did more for her child
thant mothers do.

She coulda kept her child,
hired a nanny, spent her days

Locked in her room
with the vapors like my mother,

But she didn't.
Do you think--

I'm not finished. She handed
lucas over to his father

Out of love for her child.

Now she's spending
all her time

Apologizing for taking care
of herself.

As far as I'm concerned,

She doesn't have to apologize
to anyone for anything.

She's getting on with her life
the best way she can.

She's ready to spend time
with her son.

I don't see why
we aren't all supporting her.

So violet talks to you about
wanting to be with lucas,

Shows you photos of him,
talks about milestones?
Milestones? God, no.

Violet and I are friends 'cause
she isn't that kind of mother.

I hate babies. So does she.

I mean... We don't like
other people's babies.

But she likes lucas.

She does. She loves him.

(indistinct conversations)

Violet hates babies.
That's a nice one.

Really?

After what you said,

You're coming to discuss
my testimony?

She was counting on us.

At least
I tried to be loyal.

I know I messed it up,
but you didn't even try.

So don't you come and try
to push your guilt on to me.

I'm not taking any of it.

Why don't you stuff it
where the sun don't shine?

(woman) do you think
addison ntgomery

Is a good influence
in lucas' life?

I need a verbal answer,
dr. Bennett.

I-I don't know.
Have you seen her with lucas?

Yes.

Have you seen her feeding him
and bathing him,

Playing with him?
Yes.

Does she seem comfortable?

Enough.

Dr. Bennett, can you think
of any reasons

Why addison montgomery

Might not be
a good influence on lucas...

Or reasons why
violet turner would be?

Dr. Bennett,

She asks, you respond.

Right.

You know what, your honor?
We're done here.

Sam.

Sam, what was that?

They asked me questions,
and I answered.
That was it? That was
all you had to give?

You know
this was important to me.
I couldn't.

You should've gotten up there--
I-I wanted to...

Well, why not?
And I-I couldn't.

B-because of me? Because you---
I'm in love with addison....

I love her, and at the same
time, I hate her.

Seeing her with pete
is k*lling me.

Last night,
I was out on my deck,

And I could hear all three
of them next door.

And lucas was laughing, and if
I had gotten up on the stand

And said
what I wanted to say...

I want to tear them apart.

I want to take that baby
away from them.

But it's for
the wrong reasons.

So I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

But I-I need to be able
to look myself in the mirror

And know that I'm a good man.

I'm trying to be a good man.

So I said nothing...

Because if I had said
what I wanted to say,

I wouldn't have been
testifying for you.

I would've been testifying
for me.

(broome) dr. Turner,

If you win, if partial custody
is granted to you,

What do you
look forward to with lucas?

What are you
looking forward to?

I... (chuckles)

I can't wait
to watch him sleep again.

After he was born, uh,
b-before I gave him to pete,

I used to watch him sleep,
and he just...

He looked so peaceful.

And, uh...

Well, now he's trying to walk
and form words

And, um... And I want to be
a part of all that.

I don't wanna...

I don't wanna miss
anything else.

Do you want to take
a minute...

Get some water?

No, I'm okay.

So you're glad you had lucas.

'cause you did think about
aborting him, didn't you?

Just like you aborted a number
of other babies, right?

Here. Me.

(speaks indistinctly)

What if I lose?

We're not gonna lose.
We.

What if I lose?

"we. We."
what if we lose?
What if we lose?

It's not losing anyway,
all right?

Violet is lucas' mom. It's not
like she's gonna hurt him.

It's not like I said she was
gonna drown him in the bathtub.

You know what?
It's past his bedtime.

He should've been asleep,
like, a half-hour ago.

I'm gonna put him down, okay?
(doorbell rings)

It's just--we don't need her,
this. We don't need this.
Can you, uh,
get the door, please?

Yeah.
All right. Ready?
Say good night.

Good night.
Say night-night.

Night, big man.
Night-night, daddy.

I went to your house first,
but you weren't there.

So I figured,
I mean, addison's, it--

I mean, I know it's late
and my lawyer would...

(clears throat) be upset if she
knew that I was here, but--
what?

H-how did we get here,
pete?

I mean, here, in court.

You sued me.
I know that, but isn't...

Isn't there a more civil way
of doing this?

Your lawyer knows all these
personal things about everyone.

So does yours.
Well, that's why I'm asking,
how did we get here?

Violet, you put lucas
in my arms

And made me solely responsible
for his well-being.

I have to do what I think
is right for him.
Really?

Because it feels like...

The way--
the way you look at me,

****

****

Well, sam sa a thing.

He said that he loves addison,
but that he hates addison.

So it makes it hard
for him to...

Look, clearly, you hate me.

But are--are you
doing all this because...

(sighs) are you still
in love with me?

(indistinct conversations)

Violet.

Leave me alone.
Hey, hey, come on. Come here.

Hey, what the hell
was that?
What?

Fellas, keep it together.
That's good advice.

No, screw that. Do you have
any idea what you just did?
You don't understand.

That's crap, cooper.
I have a daur, okay?

That's crap.
Where is she?

Inside. Hey, maybe we should
give her a minute?

You okay?

(sighs)

(exhales)

You want me to fire cooper?
(laughs)

'cause I can.
I'll fire arlotte.

I been looking for a reason
to fire charlotte.

Say the word,
and I will.

(sighs)

Who knew?

Who knew that everyone thought
I wasuch a horrible person?

What'll happen if I lose?

******

What would you tell
a patient

If she were
going through this?

I don't know.

Come on. Yeah, you do.

Yeah, you do.

(whispers)
I'm still in love with pete.

(sighs)

(normal voice)
don't tell anyone. Okay?

Okay.

(ellen) okay, let's go back.

Let's go back.

At what point during the att*ck
did your mind drift to lucas?

Why is this significant?
Because we've recounted this
numerous times,

And at no point
have you mentioned your baby,

Not once, and I want
to talk about him.

Okay, so let's go back.

You're on the floor--
well, blood was pouring
out of my body

And I was ruining the rug.
I don't know.
Stick with me, violet.

(sighs)

Just stay with me.

Do you know how much
I begged her not to do it?

Do what?

To cut him out of me.

(indistinct convsations)

***********

What am I gonna say, no?

(sighs) how did we get here?

How did we
let it get this bad?

I don't know.

You like playing house
with my son, addison?
Violet--

There are two people
who knew about my abortions,

And I am sure naomi
was not the one who told.

I--
you want to fight dirty?
Let's fight dirty.

But you started it.
(chuckles)

Remember that
when you're on the stand.

(broome) do you believe

That violet turner
is a fit mother?

Please answer the question.

No, I do not believe

That violet turner
is a fit mother.

She's made no contact
with the baby.

I've tried to fill that void.

I know I'm not hisother.
I didn't, uh...

It was not my intention to,
but it just sort of happened,

And, um...
I-I'm glad that it did.

He's a very special
little boy.

Well, I commend you,
dr. Montgomery.

*******

Of raising
another woman's child.

No further questions.

Would you call yourself

An honest person,
dr. Montgomery?

Yes, I would.
You were married, right?

Yes, I was.
I'm--I'm divorced now.

And why did
your marriage dissolve?
Objection.

Why is dr. Montgomery's
marriage relevant?
Well?

It goes to her credibility,
your honor.

Answer, dr. Montgomery.

I, uh... Had an affair,
and my husband left me.

And who did you
have an affair with?

He was
my husband's best friend.

Didn't you also have an affair
with your patient's husband,

A, uh...
Dr. Noah barnes, I believe--

We never slept together.

Broken your vows when it
served you, haven't you?,

Which begs the question,

How much trust can we put in
your credibility here today?

Objection. Seriously,
this is abusive.
All right, moving on.

Why don't you have children,
dr. Montgomery?

I can't.

Did you ever
want to have children?

Yes, I tried,
but I was not able to.

So would you lie on the stand
to keep lucas,

To protect your
one last chance at motherhood?

Object

No, I want to answer.

You're right. I'm a cheater
and a husband stealer,

************

So good times. I...

I never wanted
any of this to happen.

I never
wanted to hurt violet.

Yes, she's a mess.
I'm a mess, too.

I... I'm here for lucas.

He's a baby, so he can't
speak for himself.

But I'm pretty sur,

He'd say that he wanted
to feel loved and safe

And have cereal for dinner.

I just want lucas
to be happy.

So if that means
you tearing me apart

And making me look like the most
horrible person on earth,

Then please,
go ahead and do it,

Because...

Lucas is worth it... To me.

So...

Next question... Ms. Gibson?

(violet)
are you still in love with me?

I'm sorry...

Everything that's happening
has hurt you.

But I can't let you hurt lucas
the way you hurt me.

I have to protect him.
You--you didn't answer the question.

What do you expectm me?
I don't know.

I-I mean,
we made a baby together.

I mean, the least we could
offer each other is honesty.

Honest? Fine. I'm done.

I have moved on.
I'm over you.

I wish you well. Best of luck
in all your future endeavors.

****

And you walked away
from our child.

I have moved on.
I don't love you.

You want me to be honest?

Honesty isn't nice.

You were fantastic
on the stand today.

If that doesn't win it
for us, I don't know...

Is the baby asleep?

What?
Is Lucas asleep?

Yeah, he went down fine.

(exhales deeply)

How did your lawyers know
about violet's abortions?

Answer me.

I had to do something
to help us win.

(scoffs) I don't even know
what to say to you.
Wh--

Pete, I don't know.
Addison,
why don't you start--

I don't know.
It's like you--you have done

Some horrible things during
this trial, but I told myself

It's because, you know, you're
worried and you're scared.

But now--now it's like
you've shut down pete

And become this
cold, hard, mean--
you know what?
Mind your own business.

Mind my own business?
Yeah, stay outta this.

This is my business.
You made it my business

When you put your son
in my arms.

If I didn't love that kid,
I'd sit back

And I'd watch you and violet
tear each other to shreds.

But I do love him, and that is
who I am concerned about here.
And I'm not?

You better think about
what you're gonna say to him

When he asks you one day, "why
did you do this to my mother?"

And what are you gonna say?

I hope you're gonna have
something good to say, pete,

Or else otherwise, he's gonna--
what, what,
he's gonna hate me?

No, he is gonna be ashamed
of you, like I am right now.

(cooperwhy are we here?

I mean, all we ever wanted
since Lucas was born

Was for violet to be
a part of his life.

How many times did she walk out
of a room that he was in?

How many times did she walk
around him or by him

Or pretend
that Lucas didn't exist?

And every time, you and I,
we'd run into a corner

And have
a hushed conversation,

Hoping and praying that she
would just lk at him.
Exactly. That's--

Okay, but she did.
She looked at him.

You know, violet did
what we all asked of her,

And instead of supporting her
or breathing a sigh of relief,

Because, yeah,
it's about time...

We're in court, you know,

Telling her, "no, violet, you
can't be a mother to your son."

It's a little hypocritical,
don't you think?

Cooper, she's not ready.

Deep down,
I think you know that.

(broome) do you believe

That violet turner
is a fit mother?

Dr. Freedman?

(judge) answer the question,
Dr. Freedman

(clears throat) no, I violet...

Violet, I should've...

I should've told you
how I was feeling.

I didn't because I wanted
to be there for you.

I was going to be there
for you, and I got up there

And I realized
that this is about Lucas.

But I shoulda talked
to you first. I'm sorry.

(sniffling)

All right, I'm gonna give you
five minutes.

You've got five minutes

To sulk about what everybody
said about you in there.

You got five minutes
to cry and scream

And to call them every single
bad name in the book.
Nai--

Then when those five minutes
are up,

You're gonna walk
back into that courtroom

And you're gonna fight
for your son.
I can't. I can't.

I'm sorry,
but the clock's ticking.
Damn it, naomi.

You know, maybe he's
better off without me, okay?

Maybe I am a terrible mother.
Well, that does not mean
that you quit.

Yes, there will be times
when you let your child down.

There will be times
when you do the wrong thing.

There will be times when you
are a horrible mother.

But that does not mean
that you quit.

It means
that you fight harder.

I mean, that's--
that's what I shoulda done.

So go back in there
and fight.

Fight for the both of us.

(ellen) stick with me, violet.

Do you know how much
I begged her not to do it?
Do what?

To cut him out of me.

I begged and I begged
and I begged.

And when--when I knew
she was gonna do it,

I-I told my baby...

I told Lucas

That mommy was very... Sorry

For letting this happen.

And, um...

And then I...
And then I let her.

Let her what?

I told katie
how to cut him out of me--

Where to cut, how deep
the incision should be,

How to see through the blood.

I helped her.

I helped her take my baby
away from me.

Violet... Listen to me.

¶

What could've happened
to Lucas

Had katie
made the incision incorrectly?

She--she could've cut him.

And what could've happened
to Lucas if she cut too deep?

(voice breaking)
she could've cut him.

That's right.

And what could've happened
to Lucas

Had you not helped katie
see through the blood?

E could've cut him.

Yes.

You helped katie
to cut Lucas out

Because you were trying
to protect him.

You brought Lucas into
this world safe and unharmed.

You did that...

Even as you almost
bled to death.

Do you understand
what that means?

I chose Lucas...

Yes.

Over me.
I chose Lucas.

Yes.

And you chose him again
when you gave him to pete.

Do you hear me?

(cries)
you saved your little boy.

(sobs) I saved him?

Yes.

(crying)

(man) ¶ I will reside ¶

¶ 'cause I'm gonna make it ¶

¶ with every smile... ¶

Please answer the question,
Dr. Turner.

How many abortions
have you had?

Two.

And you considered
aborting luc.

I-I hadn't planned
on becoming a mother,

So, yes, I considered it,
but then I changed--
so did you have any doubts

About being a mother
before the att*ck?
Every woman has dots
about becoming a mother.

Answer the question.
Yes, I had normal amount
of uncertainty

About becoming a mother.
Why didn't you do
a paternity test?

Until I understood
what motherhood meant to me,

I couldn't consider
the feelings of a partner,

So not knowing seemed to be
the best option.
And aftehe was born?

Let's get this straight.
Lucas was noborn.

He was ripped from my body.

And afterwards, I was fighting
for my life and my sanity,

So I couldn't quite focus
on who the father was.

We all understand the amount
of stress that you were under,

But in that situation,
in any situation,

Don't you think
putting your own needs first

Is the antithesis
of being a good mother?

¶ ...Gonna make it ¶

I've spent a lot of time
thinking like that, ms. Broome,

A lot of time thinking

That I was poison
for my child.

¶ I'm gonna make it, yes ¶

(voice breaking) but now
I know that that is not true.

I have gone to therapy.
I have done the work.

And I know
with every fiber of my being

That I am ready
to be Lucas' mother.

(normal voice)
and when I wasn't ready,

I gave him
to the one person I knew

That would put Lucas' life
before his own.

(sighs) and that was pete.

And my friends
stepped in and helped.

And they are protective
of Lucas.

And... As hard as it is
to hear their concern for me,

I'm glad
that they're protective.

(exhales deeply)

But I'm back.

And I am not gonna apologize

Or be made to feel bad

For doing what was best
for my child and for me.

I am here today...

Becausi'm healed.

And I want to share custody
of my son.

I am ready to share
in the burden of parenting,

And I deserve th chance,

Because I did the work,
because I got better...

(voice breaking)
and because I am Lucas' mother.

¶

I am Lucas' mother.

And no one else can say that.

¶

(shower running)

(water runs in sink)

(water turns off)

(toothbrush clatters)

(bome)
last question, Dr. Wilder.

Given everything
that's been said,

Given your personal experience,

Would you say that violet turner
is a fit mother?

Dr. Wilder.

May I please...
I'd like to say something.

Of course.

He's just like you,
you know that?

He's stubborn already...
And sensitive.

He observes people,

Laughs all the time,
for no reason whatsoever.

He's just like you.

And I want him to know you,
violet. I do.

It's just,
he doesn't know pain yet.

And I know
it's coming one day.

It's inevitable--
he'll get his heart broken.

But I want to hold that off
as long as I possibly can.

And I think that if you're ready
to be part of Lucas' life...

I know what you're like
when you love someone.

I know what that feels like.

(voice breaks) and it's
the best feeling in the world.

(normal voice) a-and I want
Lucas to know that love,

Because you're his mother.

And I think that
if you can love him...

And I think you will
be able to soon...

I think we have a chance
to raise the happiest,

Most loved little boy
in the world.

But please, violet...

Be ready.

That's all I ask.

Dr. Turner, you suffered
a great tragedy,

And I sympathize with everything
you've beethrough.

I commend you
for going to therapy

And getting yourself ready

To have a relationship
with your child.

It's a testament
to your strength.

Over the couof this trial,

Many people who know you best
and care for you most

Expressed that they
don't believe you're ready

To be a mother right now.

And as much as I appreciate
how far you've come

And the intensity of
your desire to be with Lucas,

I cannot simply substitute
my judgment for theirs.

Therefore...

I grant full custody
to Dr. Wilder,

With supervised visitation
to Dr. Turner.

Dr. Turner is free
to file a petition

To revisit this arrangement
in the future.

(bangs gavel)

(woman) ¶ and one is lost ¶

Hey.

Hey.

How's william?

He's really sick.

I'm sorry.

¶

All right.
Well, I should get going.

It's good to see you.

Maya's eight months pregnant,

And I've never even
felt the baby kick.

I haven't helped
with the nursery.

I haven't bought one stitch
of baby clothing.

¶

Nothing.

¶

Well...

She needs more baby clothes.

All I got was this...
Tiny little baseball cap.

(chuckles)

Thing is in the nursery
except a bassinette.

So you could go crazy
in there.

And the baby kicks on cue
when there's music playing,

So... If you wanted
to spend time

Singing to maya's belly...

You could do that.

¶ ...Is ruthless ¶

It's too late?

You're her mother.

It's never too late.

¶ ...From the forest ¶

This is something,
isn't it?

Yeah.

It's something.

¶

¶ and when he asks me
to rest with him ¶

That was you...

Pete's testimony.

¶

It's okay. It's okay.
You don't have to...

It's just...

Well, we've--we've been
through a w*r this week,

And, uh, and I lost.

So I'm trying to appreciate
the small things.

So if you helped pete,

And if he hates me a little bit
less because of you,

Then... Then that's
something I can appreciate.

I'm sorry.

God, I didn't expect--
I-I thought the judge--

No, don't.

It's not
the end of the world.

It's a step.

It's a small step,
but it's a step.

¶ ruthless ¶

I'm going to see Lucas,
and I'm going to be happy.

¶

Are you?

I don't know.

¶ it's easier ¶

¶ when I'm fast asleep ¶

¶ but I don't want you
to come to me anymore ¶

Pete doesn't hate you.

¶

¶ so I don't want you
to come to me anymore ¶

¶ oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ and out of ashes
comes morning ¶

¶ and the ritual of bathing ¶

¶ in the pools... ¶

Violet's not here.

Look... (clears throat)
I don't know where I'm headed--

Do I look like a gps to you?
Could you just shut up
and let me finish,

Let me talk?

Figuratively speaking,
I don't know where I'm headed.

I do know
I haven't been myself lately,

And even though
I'm trying to get back there,

I don't know how long
that's gonna take.

Where was I going with that?
I... I had this memorized.

You were saying
you don't know squat.
Right. Okay...

What I do know...

What I realized
from this whole ordeal,

Is what's important...

Like, um...
The people that you love.

¶

And you are important to me,
charlotte.

¶ and you have my bones
and my skin ¶

¶ haunting my... ¶

You're important to me, too.

¶ love is ruthless ¶

Have dinner with me?

¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ and the tall trees
all fell down ¶

(mouths words)

¶ and they scattered seeds
on the ground ¶

¶ and one is lost
and one is found ¶

(babbles)

¶ ...Look around ¶

¶ and you're the one
who showed to me the sky ¶

¶ it's so much more
than you and I ¶

¶ and, darling,
I wish I had the time ¶

¶ the river
is whispering good-bye ¶

(speaking inaudibly)

¶ bye ¶

¶ bye ¶