02x08 - Lost in Newtopia/Sprig Gets Schooled

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Amphibia". Aired: June 17, 2019 - May 14, 2022.*
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Animated series chronicles the adventures of independent and fearless teen Anne Boonchuy after she is magically transported to a rural marshland full of frog people.
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02x08 - Lost in Newtopia/Sprig Gets Schooled

Post by bunniefuu »

[squawking]

[speakers: man] Welcome,
ladies and gentle-phibians,


to a safe uneventful
afternoon of touristy nonsense.

It may not be as eventful as other
tours but did I mention it's safe?

This is the last time we
let Hop Pop pick the activity.

Look Anne,
we've got a few days to k*ll

before King Andrias reveals
his findings about the music box.

And what better way to
spend that time than learning?

[Anne, Sprig, Polly groan]

[chattering]

Oh, wow, what's that place?

Imminent danger. Look away!

But imminent is the
best kind of danger.

Now then,
what's the most important thing to do

when visiting
Newtopia? Any guesses?

Ooh, ooh! Eating like a
local? Looking like a local?

Partying with the locals?

Nope. It's getting to know
the city from a safe distance.

Like on this bus.

Such wisdom.

- [sighs] This is just like...
- [Polly sighs]

...when I'd go
traveling with my mom.

- [chattering] - [traffic hums]

Mom,
can I please try some of that?

No, sweetie,
your California stomach can't handle it.

-But you can have carrot stick and trail mix.
-[whimpers]

I didn't want the baby carrots,
Mom!

I didn't want 'em.
Why? Why? Why? Why?

- You know what? - What?

This time I'm gonna experience
the city the way the locals do!

Not sit on a bus like
some dumb tourist!

[tour guide] And now for
our tour of the tour bus.


This is the ceiling,
what a good ceiling!

Not to be outdone by the floor!

Ooh!

Count me in. So what do we do?

Follow my lead.

[groans] Oh, man, Hop Pop,
my stomach is k*lling me.

- Can we go back to the hotel?
- Uh, me too.

I need to get off
now or I'll explode.

- [passengers gasp] - [gasps]

Why does this keep happening?

Now I'll never make it
to the cheese museum.

No, no! Why don't you stay on the
tour? We can head back ourselves.

And we're back. But you two gotta
promise me you'll go straight to the hotel.

No detours!

- [both] We promise!
- Sprig you coming?

I thought you'd never ask.

[gasps] You
handcuffed us together?

Sorry, Sprig, but after the Ruins of
Disaster incident, you've left me no choice.

Well, the jokes on you.

Anne and Polly
would never leave me.

Later, dude.

No! No, no, no, no, no!

Now sit your butt down
and put on your cheese hat.

[Sprig] No!

[both] Ah.

Welcome, Polly,
to the bowels of the city.

[chattering]

[Polly] You know, it's been a long time
since you and I had a solo adventure.

Heck, yeah! We're way overdue.

Looks like it's finally
time for team P'Anne

to get more screen time.

[together] Team P'Anne for life!

- [Anne] Ow! - [Polly groans]

- Our team name's bad.
- Yeah, it could be better.

Anyhoo, let's get this
authentic experience started.

- Okay, sounds good. Oh!
- No guides!

People will know
we're lame-o tourists.

[gasps] You're right. Don't
wanna be like that guy.

- Aw. - All right.

Step one, eat like the locals.

Street food,
baby. Nothing more authentic.

Hey, buddy. Can you whip
us up a couple of... Uh... Uh...

Actually, we'll just take two
of whatever the locals eat.

Uh, are you sure?

I mean,
we don't usually serve this to outsiders.

It's pretty spicy.

Ha! That don't scare me. After all,
I'm Thai.

Uh, Jerry. All right. Whatever.
Two extra spicys. Here you go.

- All right! Cheers! - Cheers!

Hey, not bad! [groans, pants]

[coughs, screams]

[gulps]

[laughs] Weak!

[all gasp]

- [panting] - Hey! You
two torched my roof.

- Prove it!
- Sorry, my good man... Eh, newt.

This should cover the cost.

[sighs] Didn't you read
the sign? Cash only!

Uh... [chuckles] Well,
of course I did...

Run, Polly! Hey!

[Polly screams] Could
you not throw me?

- I panicked! I panicked!
- Get back here!

Just wait till I get
my hands on you.

Whew! That was close.

Man, Polly, I feel so authentic.

I can't feel my face
but my heart feels alive.

Did you see the part
where I breathed fire?

What's next? What's next?

Step two, look like the locals.

What's the one thing
they've got that we don't?

-Cash money.
-Tails! Big, beautiful newt tails.

Well, actually,
I have a tail but I see what you're doing.

- Tails. Tails. Tails.
- Tails. Tails.

- Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails.
- Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails.

-[Anne, Polly] Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails.
-Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails.

- Tails. Tails. Tails.
- Tails. Tails. Tails.

Two tails, please,
for two locals.

Locals, hey? Well,
nice to meet ya.

Whoa,
uh... Am I supposed to, uh...

Now let's get you fixed
with a temporary tail

until your new one grows back.

Gross. And okay!

Hmm. Exactly how
long was your old tail?

How long you got?

- All right! Now that's what I'm talking about.
- Ow!

Hey, Polly! Find one you like?

Give me that one.

This is it, Polly. You have a tail, I have
a tail. We totally look like the locals.

Yeah,
we're definitely blending in. [laughs]

Oh, hey,
what's that stand over there selling?

[screams] Oh, my Gosh.

- [screams] My glasses!
- Ah, sorry!

All right, all right,
what seems to be the problem?

- [Anne] Ooh! I'm so sorry.
- [grunts] Wha... [grunts]

I oughta lock you up
for disturbing the peace.

You ought to,
but you won't, right?

Oh. Smart one,
hey? That's it! You're coming with me.

- [screams] - [yells]

[screams, blows whistle]

[groans]

Dang it! We'll never
find them in this crowd.

What? Sure we will.

Shush. I'm lazy.

Ah.

[sighs] That was intense.

Being authentic is
more work than I thought.

I don't know. Seems pretty
cool to me. What's next?

- [marching band
playing] - [crowd cheering]

- Look at that sweetie. - Ooh.

Step three,
baby. Party with the locals.

[both] Whoo-hoo!

Hey, can I join in?

I don't see why not.

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Go, Anne! You maniac!

Oh, hey! Mouth control.

- What? - [mimicking] Hi, Polly.

I'm Freddie the Fish.
Fry me up for dinner.

- [Anne mimicking
laugh] - [laughs]

- Wait, something's wrong.
- I'm delicious. [laughs]

- [crowd gasps] - Huh?

You should be
ashamed of yourself.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was just
dancing with your goofy mascot.

[crowd gasps]

That "goofy mascot"
is Igor the Brave.

He's a great hero who once
gave his life to save Newtopia.

This parade is in his honor.

My bad. I had no idea.

Whoa!

[crowd gasps, clamors]

We should run, right?

- Heck, yeah! - After them!

Hey, it's those two kids.
At least one of them's a kid.

The other one is some
kind of funny-looking...

Just chase us already!

You got it!

[Anne panting]

You've got to be kidding me.

Spicy wraps here.
Get your spicy wraps.

Hey,
it's you two! Get back here. [grunts]

Siege mode!

[yells]

Holy... [screams]

Forget authenticity.
Forget being a local.

We should've used a
brochure. A guide. Anything!

Heck, we should've never
left the tour bus. [screams]

[screams] Street freaks. Oh,
wait.

No, it's just my granddaughter
and my adopted granddaughter.

[crowd approaching]

- [both] Let us in! Let us in!
- Everyone, remain calm.

As long as we don't open
the doors or windows,

this disaster will pass us by.

- Forget that! - [Anne screams]

- [Polly screams] - Quick,
get in!

[all scream]

- Oh, no, you don't.
- [Anne strains]

[Anne strains,
screams] This is insane! Leave me!

Never! Team P'Anne for life,
remember?

That's right. That's
right. P'Anne can't lose.

[gasps] I just thought
of a better name.

An-olly.

Oh, that's not better.

It's worse, actually.

[sobs] "An-olly."

I... I love it.

Now let's end this thing.

Don't make this harder
than it has to... [groans]

Kick in the neck! Yoink!

Oh, boy.

[crowd screams]

[burps]

Whoo!

You guys still want to check
out that cheese museum?

[all] Yes, please!

[groans] This is the last book
and still nothing on the music box.

Well,
even I have to admit I'm surprised.

This is one of the most comprehensive
libraries in all of Amphibia.

Maybe we missed
a book somewhere.

[groans] I need more
bug-accinos. B-R-B. Whoa!

Ah, dang it! Tell me that tapestry
wasn't hundreds of years old.

Oh,
way older than that actually.

[Marcy] No!

But wait! Marcy, look!

Hmm. I'ma push it. Bop.

- What the... - Huh?

No way. A secret library
wing. Did you know about this?

No. It must be thousands of years old,
judging by the smell. Whew!

Well, come on. I just know the
answers are down there waiting for us.

[frogs croaking]

[birds squawking]

[sighs] City walking is great.

But I could use a little sitty-sitting.
Let's stop at this park for a bit.

Works for me. Sprig, Polly, you guys
want to toss the old frisbeetle around?

- [bell tolls] - [gasps]

[rowers grunt]

[fencing newt] En garde.

[band playing]

Kids, this ain't no park.
This is Newtopia University.

Oh, man. College is the best.

According to movies back home,
you can do crazy things

and be horribly irresponsible
with no consequences.

[Hop Pop] I can't believe
we're actually here.

No Plantar has ever gone
to Newtopia University.

And it's my dream that one day, far,
far from now, one of you two will attend.

- Huh?
- [chuckles] Sorry, Hop Pop.

I don't think that either
of us is cut out for this.

Especially Sprig.

What? What you talking about?

You don't have
the attention span.

Ha! That's ridiculo...

Sprig, go long! Okay!

Now,
how does one escape from a mountain mantis?

-Yes, Parsifal.
-First, we must calculate the probability of escape

by average number
of mantises per capita.

Divided by the average body
weight of those fleeing for their lives.

Whoa, whoa, guys. All you gotta do is tickle
it behind it's hind legs with a willow branch.

You'll escape no problem.

That's correct.

Sprig catch.

[all] Ooh.

My, my, my, my, my.

Aren't you a
precocious young frog?

Resourceful, survival-savvy,
athletic. Any other hidden talents?

Hmm. I can do funny
things with my arm.

[screams]

Uh, anything else?

- I play the fiddle. - Show me.

- [student] Ooh.
- Oh, yes. Good.

Sprig,
what did you break? What did he break?

Oh, no, nothing,
nothing. I'm Professor Herringbone.

Headmaster here at
Newtopia University.

Oh, well, uh, I'm Hopediah
Plantar. Big fan of your school.

I hope one day far,
far in the future

one of my grandchildren
will attend your fine institution.

Well,
what if that one day is today? Huh?

We have a program for young,
promising students of the future!

And I think Sprig
here is a perfect fit!

- Huh?
- We could do a trial stay for Sprig tonight.

And if it all goes well,
he can start with us next semester.

Seems reasonable. Isn't this great,
Hop Pop? It's just what you wanted.

Hmm. Well,
this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Then it's agreed.

Sprig Plantar,
your trial begins immediately.

Welcome to the university.

All right! Hop Pop,
your dream is coming true.

And don't worry. I
won't let you down.

Hey,
you gonna throw that bug-disc back or what?

Guess what,
Anne? I'm going to college.

Cool. Wait, what?

-[Sprig grunts] -Now,
there are a couple of school rules

you'll need to get adjusted to.

[grunts] If I can handle
a mountain mantis,

I can totally handle this.

That's the spirit. Enjoy your first class,
my boy.

[grunts, groans]

At Newtopia Prep,
we do not bound around heedlessly.

Oh, uh, yes, of course.

- [Sprig grunts] - We
also tuck in our shirts.

And straighten our ties.

And we absolutely
do not wear hats.

[screams, sighs]

[professor clears throat]

Hey, hi, how's it going?

All right,
class. Let us begin with concept of...

Hmm? Hmm? Uh, I mean,
we all wanted to do that, right?

Mr. Plantar,
hand over that contraption this instant.

[sighs] Now, back to the lesson.

I can do this. I can do this.
I can do this for Hop Pop.

[screams]

[screams]

[sighs] Just look at how happy
he is. They grow up so fast.

[gasps] Sprig's tadpole tail.
I remember when it fell off.

It's so cute.

[Bessie purrs]

- [expl*si*n] -
[students screaming]

Rodney Mcdonald,
for the last time,


get that cow out
of the lecture hall.


Eat my shorts, prof.

- [cow moos] -
[professor screams]

- [Anne chuckles] -
Sprig gets to do all that.

-[groans] Jelly!
-Yeah. They're probably having crazy cool parties

and slapping farm
animals right now.

Just over that wall. [sighs]

Hey, Anne,
how good at climbing are you?

Oh. I'm picking up
what you're putting down.

[both chuckle]

Will you two keep it down?
I'm trying to cry up here.

[both] Sorry, Hop Pop.

- I got extra homework.
- [gasps] Lucky.

[groans]

[sighs]

Mr. Plantar,
could I have a word?

Oh. Hi,
Professor. So you've heard, huh?

Yes. I've spoken
with your professors.

[sighs] And they all
think I'm a terrible student.

I get it. I'll leave.

"Leave"? Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's true, your energy can be a bit
disruptive, but it's a good disruption.

-Huh?
-And, since this is going to be such a project,

we are starting early.

No waiting for next semester.
[chuckles] No, no, no, no.

Tomorrow, you officially start as
a student of Newtopia University.

-What?
-With extra classes and extra work,

oh,
we will shape you into something amazing.

"Extra work"? "Extra classes"?

Now, sleep well. Because at dawn,
the real work begins.

[chuckles] Oh,
your family is going to be so proud.

Nope! Nope, nope, nope, nope. Sorry, Hop Pop.
But I can't be here another ding-dang second.

- I'm leaving tonight.
- [school bell rings]

-Hmm?
-[PA: man] All right, students,

doors locking in three,
two, one.


No!

I'm locked in.

I'm... I'm a prisoner.

What's that?

Now why would a school
need all this security?

Unless... [gasps] This
ain't a school at all.

Maybe they're frog-nappers
and this whole thing

was just an elaborate scheme to
steal Sprig's beautiful pink skin?

Hang on, Sprig, I'm a-comin'.

[grunts, strains]

Guess I gotta cut back
on those bug burgers.

Hang in there, Sprig!

[strains] Got it!

[both giggling]

- [sighs] - [grunts]

Ready for the time of your life?

Bring it.

Uh,
I think I just k*lled somebody.

[alarm blares]

- Oh, sh**t.
- Make a break for it!

[strains]

[guard] A security
breach! Hit the lights!

[screams]

[grunting]

- Nailed it!
- Hey, did you just hear someone yell, "Nailed it"?

Release the weevils!

- [weevils growl,
bark] - "Weevils"?

- [weevils bark] - [screams]

Hey, do you hear dogs?

Depends. What's a dog?

[Sprig screaming]

Is that Sprig?

Hey, Sprig,
where the party at, man?

- Can't talk. Running.
- [barking]

- [barking stops]
- [weevils growl]

Oh, boy. Run!

This is my fault for
looking like such a snack.

- [strains,
sighs] - [alarm blaring]

[pants] Hop Pop,
what are you doing?

Coming to save you.

Hang on. [grunts]

- [strains] - All right,
hold it right there.

Sprig and Mr. Plantar?
What's going on?

You're not frog-napping my boy.

You were trying to
make me a prisoner.

I'm sorry, frog-nap? "Prisoner"?

Sprig isn't locked up. He
can leave whenever he likes.

Then what's with all the gate
locking? The alarms, the guards?

That's for the students' safety.
We are in the city, after all.

There are some dangerous
oddballs out there.

Hey, Professor, we found these two dangerous
oddballs trying to sneak into the university.

You can t*rture me all
you want. I'll never talk.

- Polly? Anne? - [sighs]

We were just looking
for a rad college party.

And I was trying to escape.

Sorry, Hop Pop,
but I hate this place.

It's boring and stuffy,
and they don't let you wear hats.

I know it's your dream. I'm
sorry I couldn't make it come true.

"Dream"? "Dream"?

Forget the ding-dang dream. [strains,
grunts]

I ain't ready to let you go yet. Heck,
I ain't letting you go ever!

It's homeschooling
for the rest of your life.

Forget higher learning,
or big opportunities.

You belong at the bottom of
the socioeconomic barrel with me.

Yay! Wait, is this a good thing? Oh,
what the heck. Yay!

My boy, you continue to impress.

No one has ever evaded
campus security before.

The offer of
admission still stands.

Thanks, Professor,
but I don't think it's for me right now.

In a couple of years, who knows?

Well, we'll be here waiting
for you when you're ready.

Now, come on, everyone,
let's get back to that crazy party.

[gasps] I knew it.

- [weevils bark] - [Anne,
Polly scream]

Happy you're back, Sprig.

Me too, Hop Pop.

- Hey, Sprig, go long! - Okay!

[chuckles] Yeah!
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