02x12 - Into the Wand/Pizza Thing

[bunniefuu]

[" I'm from Another Dimension" by Brad Breeck plays]

It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another, woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [Gloassaryk clears throat]

Who is it? What do you want? It's me, Star.

Oh! Oh, yes.

Yes, yes.

[sighs]

Uh I always forget the chain.

Star Butterfly future Queen of Mewni.

- What do you want? - Look.

[Glossaryck gasps in horror]

Okay, don't panic.

I got the stain remover.

You go start the car! They're not dead.

Oh [strangled gasp]

It's my spells.

They're all messed up.

See? Narwhal blast! Narwhal blast! Narwhal blast! Narwhal blast! [gags]

Oh, you must stop.

It's not your spells, it's your wand.

You see, it's contaminated.

[whispering]

Contamina Whaa? How did that happen? The only way to find out is to go into [splash]

[muffled]

your wand.

[surprised]

Whaaat? You can do that? Of course.

But we won't.

- Why not? - Because by decree of Moon the Undaunted, Queen of Mewni, you must be that tall to go on this ride.

[grumbles]

Mother Well, I, Star the Underestimated, future Queen of Mewni, hereby decree: - Put me in my wand.

- Okay.

[high-pitched squeal]

Now, there are some things, young lady, you need to know before we go inside.

[mumbles excitedly]

Kay! The wand is an extension of your [tapping]

Star, what are you doing? Are you Are you going to listen to me or not? - [gasps]

Oh, sorry.

- As I was saying, the wand is an extension of your memories.

So you must find the thing that does not belong.

Find the thing that doesn't belong.

- Good.

Are you ready? - Maybe.

[claps]

All right.

We're inside.

What? But we're still in my room.

We're in the memory of your room.

Inside of your wand.

[inhales loudly]

- [softly]

Whoa - Yes.

From this point on, it's very, very important that you listen only to the sound of my voice.

- And nothing else.

[door opens]

- Hey.

Have you seen my hoodie? Uh I'm kinda in the middle of something with Glossaryck.

[horrified]

No! No, Star.

That is not Marco.

Only listen to the sound of my voice.

Otherwise, we will be separated.

- Hey.

Have you seen my hoodie? - Marco, I told you.

I am in the middle of something with Glossary [gasps]

[softly]

What? School? [frustrated groan]

Okay, Glossaryck, no.

I'm not going to school in my memory my wand memory [grunts]

[softly]

What? [sighs]

Right, right, right.

This is one of those mind things.

Where everywhere you go, there's school.

School.

School.

School! School.

School.

School.

[grunts]

[door rattles]

School.

I guess I'm going to school.

[locker door creaks]

[softly]

Whaa That's Marco's.

[gasps]

Well, this definitely doesn't belong! Over, under, around and through.

Grab the little Mewni rabbit, pull him through.

[singsong]

Oh, Glossaryck! I found the thing that doesn't belong! Beam me out! Or beam me up.

Uh Glossaryck? [goat bleats]

Hello? [mechanical whir]

Oh, burger time.

Don't mind if I do.

[munching softly]

Mmm.

Memory burger.

[bleats]

Oh, no! [bleats loudly]

[grunts]

[bleats]

Your welcome! [softly]

Who're you? Lil Chauncey.

Lil Chauncey, Chauncey? [bleats]

Like my mom's Lil Chauncey? [playful]

I'm pretty sure you d*ed on the b*ttlefield, mister! Let's get you out of here.

Hey Glossaryck! I think I found the thing that doesn't belong! My mom's pig-goat.

[bleats and snaps angrily]

Hey, hey, hey, hey! That's my boot! That's my boot! Hey! Hey [bleats happily]

Hey, you! Gimme back my boot! And get down! Sitting like a person.

My father would be furious if he caught you sitting in his [horrified gasp]

[gasps]

Oh, Papa! [softly]

I love you so much! [radio crackle]

Gloassaryck, I definitely found the thing now.

[loudspeaker screeches]

Can you come and pick me up from school please? Waah! What is that? [music]

That definitely doesn't belong.

Let's go get it.

[squish]

[fishing rod whirs]

Move out, Lil Chauncey! Hyaaah! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey! - Uh Hey.

- Where are you headed? - Well, I was just going to the foo-fo football field and Mewni Castle Wait a minute.

Who are you? - I'm Star Butterfly! - Nuh-uh, you're not.

Did you find the thing that doesn't belong? N-N-Not exactly I mean I found Marco's hoodie and my dad's chair and [grunting]

Lil Chauncey here.

[bleats]

[grunts]

Wait a minute.

[sighs]

- Why are there two of us here? - Didn't Glossaryck tell you? If you're inside your wand too long, all your new memories become your old memories.

Until eventually your current timeline is overwritten by the future versions of yourself, like me! Star Butterfly! Wait so, you're gonna replace me? [laughing]

Yeah! But don't worry.

You'll never know the difference.

I gotta go.

[squeals loudly]

[bleats]

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

[threatening]

Stay out of my timeline.

[sweetly]

Thanks! Fine.

I'll just get my own timeline.

Moody.

STAR: I guess I'm going to school.

Hey! [bleating loudly]

- Hello! - Go away! [Stars calling one after another]

Hello! Hello! Hello! [gasps]

Okay [door creeks open]

[door creaks shut]

Oh! Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Whoa this is the grandma room.

Oh, I haven't been in here since I was a little baby.

[grunts and gasps]

Are you nuts?! There's no eating in the grandma room! You'll get crumbs everywhere! [loud thud]

[clattering]

[Star gasps]

[slow grating]

[loud thud]

Oh, no, no, no.

We got burger juice on the wall rug, Chauncey.

[inhales nervously]

[squelch]

[shouting in panic]

Oh, no! We're gonna die! [grating]

Celena the Shy? Ooh great, great grandma Shy! What hides behind the golden fan, the hand does sweetly hold a trove of cosmic secrets that never will be told.

[whispering]

Don't be shy! You can tell me.

Right, Chauncey? Chauncey? Noo! No, no, no! Get a hold of yourself, Chauncey! [Chauncey grunts]

Solaria the Monster Carver.

[gasps in awe]

A castle stormed is a hero born with might as strong as steel.

Kneels the void before her and the crushing force she wields.

[bleating loudly]

Chauncey, come back! [hisses softly]

[gasps]

Oh.

Eclipsa, Queen of Mewni to a Mewmen King was wed.

[inhales sharply]

But took a monster for her love and away from Mewni fled.

[shudders]

Bad girl [grunting]

What is it, boy? What'd you find? [bleating loudly]

Aww, that's you, isn't it? Before you d*ed.

[gasps]

That means this is Mom's tapestry! Get off! [bleats]

The immortal monster will long be haunted by the darkest spell of Moon the Undaunted.

[gasps]

My mom fought Toffee? [squeaking]

[squeaking]

[clattering]

[effort grunting]

[gasps]

[heavy breathing]

Glossaryck! You're back! Oh! Do you have any idea how difficult that was? - Sorry.

Moody.

- No, no.

[exhales]

It's fine.

And-and did you find the thing that doesn't belong? Well, I found Marco's hoodie, and my dad's chair.

And Lil' Chauncey over there.

[growls and squeals]

[loud ripping]

But all these things belong in my memories.

Listen to me.

Did you see yourself? Uh-huh All right.

That's not good.

That's not good.

We gotta get out of here.

Step into my eyeball.

I Yes.

That's what I said.

Come on.

Hop in.

Wait! But I I didn't fix my wand! [rip]

[gasps in astonishment]

That's the thing that doesn't belong! [Stars echoing]

That's the thing that doesn't belong! Star! We've gotta go now.

Get into my eye.

All right, that's it! [Glossaryck shouts]

[pop]

[squish]

[squelch]

Oh! Boy, that hurt.

[pop]

Ugh pupil juice.

- [gasps]

Glossaryck.

- What? I think we did it.

Yeah.

That's kinda gross.

Let's get rid of it.

Uh that's not exactly what I meant.

You know what? [sighs]

I think my mom was right.

I'm not tall enough to go on this ride.

I'm not tall enough to go on any ride.

But I've been on them all.

Your, uh your eyeball is uh [softly]

falling out a little bit.

Oh, thanks.

Thank you.

Let me just, uh [laughs]

You gonna test out that wand? I think I've had enough magic for one day.

Hey! Have you seen my hoodie? [screams and grunts]

[groans in pain]

It worked! This is the best makeover ever! This princess looks fly-ayy and she's ready to partay! Ladies! What's up with your lips? Oh.

Don't be hate'n 'cause we look good and you don't! What are you talking about? I look all right.

Marco! Why don't you tell Ponyhead what we got her? Uhh we got you something special for your first friendship [singsong]

Friendship Thursday! - Hook a girl up already! - It's a friendship snuggly! Uh great.

Thanks, guys But how are we gonna dance in this? We're not going dancing, silly! Excuse me, what?! [phone rings]

Fifteen minutes to show time! I'm gonna go get the pizza.

- [whining]

Pizza? - Yeah! You can't watch "Fiesta de la Noche" without pizza! - Fist full of what the what? - It's this awesome telanovela about three friends that go out every night and have all sorts of fun! Uh [chuckles]

Okay, yeah.

We're just gonna sit on the couch and watch other people party on that rectangle box thing.

- [laughs]

Okay.

Go on.

- [giggles]

Oh, yeah, baby! That's what Friendship Thursday [softly]

is all about.

[spits]

Uh I have to go to the bathroom.

[music]

Hey, hey! Looking good, Marco! Thanks, Mr.

Vendrosian! You're lookin' good yourself! Hey, Marco! My watch stopped.

- Can you tell me what day it is? - You know what day it is.

- Friendship Thursday! - Um Uh, actually, it's my birthday.

I thought you knew.

Poneyhead please go back to the house.

[annoyed]

Huh Alright, I'm gonna squeeze past you here.

Sorry.

[whispering]

Weirdo.

Ponyhead what are you doing? Come on! I want to see some Earthian night life! I'm just picking up the pizza and getting it back before the show starts.

- Let's go.

- No.

[whining loudly]

Please! - No! - [screaming]

Please! [singsong whining]

Please! [groans audibly]

Okay, fine! - You can come.

- Yeah! Woo-hoo! Just none of that Poneyhead stuff you always do.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

Just promise we're gonna go get the pizza and nothing else.

[Ponyhead sighs]

[groaning]

Fine! I pinky promise.

[gagging loudly]

[coughs]

I'm not touching that.

So, what's this pizza thing you guys keep talking about? Whoa-a-a-a Nelliee! Did you just call Emilio's Pizza "a thing"? - Uh I guess.

- Emilio's Pizza is not a thing.

His family has been making pizza forever.

His recipes goes back to a time before pizza even existed.

Oh, my gogo! Look at those skinny jeans! Those are some skinny-skinny jeans.

Like very skinny.

- What are you doing? - Okay, come on! Let me just go in and get a pair.

It'll just take a second.

You promised.

No distrac [bell dings]

- Really? - Check me out, Marco! Excuse me! Are those skinny jeans? Why, yes, they are.

No way! I'm wearing skinny jeans! [electronic music playing]

[Skinny Jeans g*ng partying]

[all cheering and hooting]

MARCO: Poneyhead?! Hey, Ponyhead! The pizza! Remember? [sirens screech]

[over PA]

Everybody freeze! I'm shutting this party down.

Till we get Little Red Riding Hood there into a pair of skinny jeans! [pants squeaking]

[Marco grunting]

When you promised we'd just get the pizza! How does that fit into this? Oh, shut up, baby girl.

You know you look good.

Check it out, Marco.

I got us a cab.

Oh.

Great.

Uh, we're going to Emilio's pizza.

[nervous exhale]

Just take the car.

Don't hurt me! - I don't think this is a taxi.

- Oh, don't blame me! It's not my fault that people like to give me stuff! What did you [tires screech]

[music]

[cars honking loudly]

Okay, Marco, tell me how to get there! Pony! You need to stop this car right now! Come on.

Just tell me and I'll drive us there! - Stop the car.

- Tell me how to get there.

- Stop the car.

- But tell me how to get there.

- Stop the car.

- Tell me how to [Marco screams]

Gah! [panicked breathing]

I-uh I [screams]

Uh Okay.

What are you doing? We just stole this thing! I have to get rid of the evidence.

[panicking]

We gotta get as far away from this as possible.

And then report it to the police.

[crash]

MARCO: [crying]

No! No, no, no, no! [shrieks]

[metal crunching]

[strangled scream]

Aww, it's so compact.

[sobbing]

I'm totally going to jail! You're not going to jail, Marco! PONYHEAD: Go home to daddy, baby! [honking]

[engine rumbles]

- Okay, let's go get us another car! - How about you stop doing all that Ponyhead business we talked about - and let me get us there? - Fine.

Hey, up there! How much for a ride to Emilio's Pizza? - Uh $650? - [sighs]

Okay [engine rumbles]

Okay, okay [inhales]

everything's still in order.

[breathing heavily]

We're here - Keep it cool - Oh, my gogo! It smells like tomatoes and cologne.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing? You can't just saunter in there with your sass.

This is Emilio's.

[stressing]

Emilio's! For once today just let me handle this.

Let me handle this.

[bell dings]

Just sit here or float here in the corner.

Don't say a word.

[singing]

# Hey, Marco! # [singing]

# Hey, Emilio! # [both singing]

Good to see you, kid.

Here you go, Bubba.

[excited exhale]

- May I? - Go ahead.

After it's left my oven it's not my baby.

[excitedly mumbling]

- Huh - Everything okay? Uh, yeah.

Everything's great! Well [sighs]

are you sure? You made that You know th-that face I've never seen you make.

No, no.

It's-it's nothing.

- I'll just, uh live with it.

- Oh.

Okay.

[sighs heavily]

Actually the thing is it's the mushrooms.

There aren't as many mushrooms as they usually are.

Not as many mushrooms? Let me see It's-it's totally it's not a big deal at all.

Okay.

- One Two - No.

- Three - No, don't.

Don't count.

- Four Five - Please don't count.

- Six Seven Eight - Okay, stop.

Stop counting.

- Ninety-one, ninety-two, ninety three - Let's not play the number game, you know? Ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six [sighs]

Ninety-seven! Ninety-eight.

Huh, yeah.

You're right, Marco.

Usually I put put a hundred mushrooms on a pizza, but there's there's only ninety-nine here.

All this time I thought I was making good pizza.

[squelch]

[trash can rattles]

Uhh, President of the United States liked it! The Nobel Peace Prize liked it! None of that matters because it wasn't good enough [menacingly]

for Marco Diaz.

Well, don't b*at yourself up about it.

N-N-Nobody's perfect.

[phone rings]

Emilio's Pizza.

I-I-I let me just stop you right there.

I cannot take your order.

[muffled talking over phone]

Well! Because I cannot make a perfect pizza! [muffled talking over phone]

Oh, well, thank you.

That's very sweet of you.

I appreciate that.

[muffled talking over phone]

I think it's very good myself, but perfection is a very high bar.

So, as of right now, I quit! [muffled talking over phone]

Goodbye, and have a nice life.

- [over phone]

Why are you yelling at me? - I am not yelling, sir! No, no.

You are yelling.

Lower your voice! - Not a word.

- I wasn't gonna say anything.

You know, this is all your fault.

With all your Ponyhead stuff.

Ooh, excuse me? I knew Friendship Thursday wasn't your thing! TV and pizza sounds boring to you.

But it's what Star and I like to do on Thursdays! Okay! Well, why did you even invite me then? [scoffs]

I didn't invite you! When you're around, everything goes bad! - Why don't you just say it then? - Fine! There's no room for the three of us in this friend - [bell dings]

Is Emilio here? - He's gone.

- Indefinitely.

- Oh, okay.

Do you know why I like pizza? No one cares.

There's something else going on.

It's divided into equal portions [music]

so everybody gets the same amount.

And, it's got no sharp edges to s*ab someone with.

Because it's round.

Like the circle of friendship.

And I like the cwust! - Truce? - Truce! How do you feel about making a pizza - with a hundred mushrooms? - Oh, yeah, Boy! [music]

[people cheering]

[disco music]

Uh guys? [Both snoring]

[softly]

Emilio's [chomps, gags]

[spits]

Way too many mushrooms.