17x11 - The Three Fs

[bunniefuu]

This can't be good!

You mean all the alarms and stuff?

Yeah! We're too heavy!

If we don't drop some cargo,

we're dead, man.

Oh, well. It's not like I

have anything to live for.

Then who's that?

Oh, right, my son!

My son and his eight siblings!

I don't know what to drop!

It all looks so important!

Just pick something!

It's gonna be a great pool day.

Well, sounds like Neil

Armstrong finally returned.

Good morning, U.S.A. ♪

I got a feelin'

that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪

The sun in the sky has

a smile on his face ♪

And he's shinin'

a salute to the American race ♪

Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

- Good ♪

- Good morning, U.S.A. ♪

Aah!

Good morning, U.S.A. ♪

Pool's ready!

Steve, come swim with your mama.

I'm in the middle of a

speed run of this game.

I can't swim with my "mama" right now.

You have reached level 35 of "Mom Swim."

You have unlocked "Good Job Honey!"

Y'all wanna come swim?

Can't. Learning.

Jeff and I have decided to

become more well-rounded people

and are learning vocabulary words.

I've learned perfidious.

Do you know what it means, Francine?

I don't know, stank-ass or something?

It means deceitful and untrustworthy.

And I learned the word "vocabulary."

I can't.

I'm busy working on my dating app.

It's like Tinder or Hinge,

but mine has a different name.

It's called Barrel Scraper.

Like scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Oh, no! I forgot about that phrase!

I was thinking a barrel of laughs

and a skyscraper of a good time.

Help! I'm drowning!

Stan, help!

Ha! Gotcha!

Doesn't the pool look so nice?

Why don't you join me?

I'm just out here because

I got ketchup on my toes

and needed to wipe it off in the grass.

Francine, can you please keep it down?

I can hear you drowning from

all the way across the street.

It's almost noon.

Why are you still in your pajamas?

I'm trying to get 18

hours of sleep a day

to prepare for an audition next week.

A scout is coming to

watch me perform the news,

and it could be my big

break to go national.

- That's exciting!

- I know!

But I really have to

nail my mood maneuvers.

You know when news

anchors have to switch

from happy stories to sad stories,

seamlessly transitioning

from an upbeat inflection

to a grave one?

That's a mood maneuver.

Example please.

Francine Smith drowned in her pool,

which was good

for Greg because he finally

got some sleep.

All by myself ♪

Don't want to be all by myself ♪

Anymore! ♪

Oh!

Hi there, little froggie.

Did you come to admire the pool?

Me and the family used to

swim out here all the time,

but now no one cares.

Cool jump, lil' dude.

I'm going to name you Jumpers.

Mom, what is that?

It's a frog.

A frog?! That's awesome!

I'm coming out.

Wait, there's a frog by the pool?

This I gotta see!

I see it, and it's worth it, Hayley!

It's green like the stories say!

His name is Jumpers,

and he's hanging out

with me by the pool.

Jumpers, watch this!

Jumpers, over here!

Jumpers this way!

Uh come back to me.

Jumpers, look at this kick flip.

Dammit. I landed it earlier.

Water fight!

All by my family ♪

Not by myself ♪

Sup. I slept like a hog on a log,

and now I'm ready for some slop.

Here's some yogurt tubes.

I wanted us to eat quick so we can get

back out there with Jumpers.

Oh, yeah, cool. I'll head out later.

- Samesies.

- Yeah, I got tired again.

And I'm still looking for a beta tester.

Gonna peruse smokers

outside the bowling alley.

Look out below!

I don't understand, Jumpers.

They were so into it yesterday,

but I've lost them again.

We have to do something

to get their attention.

Oh, but what?

Yes?

Oh, you want me to follow you.

Wow, Jumpers!

This must have been that crate

that fell out of that airplane!

You didn't think I saw that, did you?

Come on, my family's gonna love this!

Marco! Polo! What?

Am I the only one playing?

You can probably tell

I have no clue what I'm doing.

We did it, Jumpers.

The family's together again.

I'm glad you brought those frogs home.

It's like living in the wild.

Listen to how loud they are.

It's so loud.

And you know how loud

things get me in the mood.

I sure do!

Something's

different.

Did you get a haircut, Mr. Klaus?

Where's the kitchen table?

- Oh!

- Oh!

Out here!

I thought it would be nice

to be closer to the frogs.

Hell no!

This frog thing is getting out of hand.

And now you want us to eat out here?

Perfidious!

I won't demean myself this way.

I'm gonna go eat pasta sauce

on the couch and watch TV.

Uhhh okay, Klaus.

This frog thing is out of hand?

I just want Jumpers and his

friends to feel comfortable.

Guys!

Greg's audition is gonna

start soon if you wanna watch.

- You ready for this?

- Huh?

Oh, yeah. Born ready.

Is that the scout?

That's him. Take your sh*t!

You're going to love Greg.

His mood maneuvers are impeccable.

He never says the sad stuff happy.

Good morning and

welcome to the Channel 3

9:00 news. I'm Greg Corbin.

Langley Animal Clinic celebrated

their hundredth anniversary

with a dog parade.

Last night,

a man was found dead in a soup bowl.

Sorry, I mean with a dog parade!

Last night, a man

was found dead in a soup bowl.

This is embarrassing.

In international news,

America lost three soldiers

on the Pakistan border.

But they were later

found in a nearby mall!

Dead! Of self-inflicted g*nsh*t wounds!

Oh, dangit!

No, no, no, don't leave!

You.

Me?

Francine Smith.

You kept me awake the entire week

with your stupid, loud frogs!

You cost me my chance at going national.

I'm going to sue you!

What, Greg?

It's Greg. Oh.

I wasn't sure if you were watching,

so I'm calling to tell

you I'm suing you.

Of course I'm watching. I'm your friend!

And you're going down, assh*le.

I won't let you come

between me and my family.

Your family? I'm suing about the frogs.

Exactly! Frogs equal family.

It's the three Fs.

Frogs, family, and my name is Francine.

Then I guess I'll see you in court.

I guess you will!

Hi. I'd like a big, big, big,

big meatball sandwich, please.

The biggest you've got.

Case number 543A, Corbin vs. Smith.

Ah! Sorry, sorry.

Greg looks worse than

he did on the news.

He still hasn't slept.

I saw Jumpers and a group of frogs

sitting right outside

his window last night.

You think Jumpers is sabotaging him?

Hi, Jumpers!

Mm. I'm not going to

read these documents.

You, begin.

Your Honor, I need Francine Smith

to remove the frogs from her backyard.

They're keeping me awake!

Order in the court! ♪

I'm trying to get a television show,

so I might be a bit wild today.

Mr. Corbin, do you have evidence?

Yes, listen to these frogs!

March 12th, sibilance practice.

Single Susan sits somewhere silently.

I don't understand.

I checked it this morning.

This frog is quiet.

He's acting, Your Honor!

Don't shave my legs with a pine cone

and call it a razor!

We'll recess until tomorrow.

That was amazing.

I was gonna wait for the

verdict to pop the champagne,

but I'm ready now.

I felt kind of bad for Greg.

Me too. He looked like crap,

and he's usually so striking.

The frogs are loud, Mom.

What's your point?

It wouldn't hurt to maybe

get rid of some of them.

Greg just wants to be able to sleep.

But they're the whole reason we've been

spending time together.

It was exciting for awhile to have

a fun new thing to do

in the backyard, but

That's it!

We've been limiting

ourselves to the backyard.

Did someone say tributary?

Now nothing can come

between me and my family.

Welcome back.

Let's skip right to the end.

Closing statements, go.

Your Honor,

it comes down to the three Fs.

Frogs, family, and Francine.

If that's not the three Fs,

I don't know what is.

Oh [BLEEP] right in his [BLEEP] face.

You want something in your face,

Your Honor?

How about some surprise witnesses!

Whaaaat?

It is crazy in here!

They're testifying against Francine?

- That's

- Perfidious.

What the?

The frogs are loud.

Things have gotten bad,

and we're worried they're

going to get worse.

What if I told you I

have an app where people

such as yourself could meet

other people such as themselves?

She tore down the kitchen

wall to let the frogs inside.

She put 12 humidifiers in my room.

Order, order!

You already said something!

It is with great thought

and consideration

that I make this judgement.

Francine wins!

She can keep the frogs and

let those babies thrive.

Really?

Your ass is dismissed!

And here's my ass.

What?

This isn't the last

you've heard of me, Francine.

Mom, please don't be mad.

They betrayed you, Francine.

You betrayed me. Wait.

- You can talk?

- Of course we can talk!

But we couldn't get you to listen.

All you've done is listen.

You constantly cater to their needs.

That's true!

I thought I was doing what

was best for my family.

We're your family now. Exile them!

Your Honor, I'd like a restraining order

against my family.

Granted!

She's incredible!

Let's go, Jumpers.

Wait, Francine, can we still have sex?

No.

Okay, well,

you're still attracted to me right?

Not as much.

My new beta tester!

Stan, I'm marking you down as bisexual.

Is that cool?

I mean, it's not like I own

the word "perfidious."

But Francine just said

it like it was hers.

Mom's phone isn't even ringing anymore.

Your mother made her choice.

We're moving on.

Moving on with a little

help from Barrel Scraper.

Let me see what you

wrote for your profile.

"My name is Stan.

"My wife doesn't find

me attractive anymore.

"Maybe you will like my ugly face.

"Will you take care of my kids?

You must hate frogs."

It's perfect.

You got a match!

I'll see if she wants

to meet up right now.

I wish we could figure out

what's up with Jumpers.

It's like Mom is under

his spell or something.

I have an idea.

Jeff, drive us to Groff.

There's a herpetologist

there we can talk to.

Ooh, I learned this word recently.

A herpetologist studies

reptiles and amphibians.

Don't tell Francine, though.

She'll be like

herpetologist, herpetologist.

Right, Jeff?

Drop Stan off at Frog Ross Restaurant

- for his first date.

- Frog Ross Restaurant?!

You know frogs remind me of her!

Why? Because of the frog thing?

Jeff, will you hang with me in the van?

I want to keep talking

through my feelings.

If these frogs

have moved into your house

like you say,

then you're already too late.

What do you mean?

Oh, those aren't just any normal frogs.

They're the Brazilian Cuckoo Frog.

and they're extremely danger

Sorry. My spit went down the wrong pipe.

They're extremely dangerous.

This breed of frog

follows a pack of animals around

like wolves follow bison

to see if one of the

pack is trailing behind.

Because usually if an

animal is trailing behind,

it means they are being

ignored and isolated.

The frogs surround this animal

and shower it with attention,

time, even treats

until the animal is so entranced,

that it leaves its own pack

and joins the frog army.

Army is what a group of frogs is called.

Oh!

Once the animal is in the army,

it will do anything

to protect the frogs.

Package of lily pads for Francine Smith.

Ma'am, are you okay?

I'm gonna call someone for you. Ah!

And the army will do anything to keep

the animal for themselves.

And then yada, yada, yada,

the frogs make a foam

nest to lay their eggs in,

and the animal offers herself

up to the newly hatched tadpoles

who devour her from the inside out.

Exsqueeze me?!

We have to go save Mom

before she's eaten!

What's so funny?

That exsqueeze me

just always gets me.

And that's all there is about me.

That's the first thing you've said.

Hi. I'm your waiter, Tipdip.

Are you ready to order?

Now, I haven't been on a

date in a very long time

because I've been married

to the love of my life,

but I do remember that

a woman thinks it's sexy

when a man orders.

She'll start with an

alcoholic Oreo milkshake,

extra thick.

For the entree, the halibut linguine,

but scratch the halibut and

make it a whole branzino,

its eyes towards the lady.

But not staring here,

because her eyes are up here.

Right above her beautiful breasts.

- Hello?

- Dad!

Does Frog Ross still have

that big mechanical frog?

Low ri-der ♪

"Sorry we didn't

continue to love frogs."

Psh. It's a start. Bring it out back.

Guessing that's the foam nest.

They're starting to lay their eggs.

We have to wait for Mom to be asleep,

or she'll fight us off.

Good thing we're here in time for Mom's

famous lawn chair night nap.

- Ahhh!

- Greg?!

I'm here to k*ll all the frogs!

Starting with this real big one!

Ow!

A Trojan frog?

I should have known.

Where are the real frogs?

In the foam!

Aaah!

Francine, come with us.

These frogs are going to eat you.

I want them to.

Because they're my family.

They're not your family, we are!

It is time.

Adios.

- Mom!

- Save her!

Mom?

Hello?

Where is everyone?

I feel so isolated.

Mom, I'm scared.

I'm sorry if this is how

alone we made you feel.

We should've swam when you asked us to,

after you worked so hard on the pool.

We shouldn't have needed the frogs!

We're sorry!

Stan! Was that you?

What did you think of

the app's usability?

Hi, little guy!

Well, now I'm a "tad" concerned.

Funny right till the end.

I'm so sorry!

I don't know what came over me.

Francine, darling, where are you going?

The babies are hatching.

I can't be your babies' first meal.

I have to be with my family.

Is Mom talking to Jumpers?

Ribbit.

Jumpers, what we had was special

Cut the crap.

I promised my family the three Fs.

Francine frog food.

Greg's in there. Eat him.

Uh, no. He smells. It's you we want.

Eat me!

It's been my life's dream

to be the first human sacrifice

for the Brazilian Cuckoo Frog.

I almost was once,

but my idiotic family saved me.

This works.

No! Ah, yes!

Yes!

Farewell, Francine.

It's been a pleasure.

And to the rest of the Smith family,

ribbit, ribbit.

Bye, Jumpers!

Wow, look what just a little

bit of rest did for Greg.

You all left me with Klaus,

you perfidious [BLEEP]

Bye! Have a beautiful time!