04x18 - Monkeyshines Martha/Dog Daze

[bunniefuu]

MAN:
♪ Martha was an average dog ♪

♪ She went... and... and... ♪
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say ♪

♪ Now she speaks... ♪

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got the voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique... ♪

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates ♪

♪ Indicates and explicates ♪

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ Hyperventilates. ♪

♪ Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. ♪

TD, are you feeling okay?

(coughs)

I think I may be too sick
to do the show open.

It's too much pressure.

All this stuff about mannerisms
and characteristics...

Mmm.

I sympathize.

Can... you... do it?

Be sure to watch for words
like empathy and sympathy,

as well as words
about point of view.

(beeping)

Come on, fat bird!

Hey!

If you're too sick
to do the show open,

you're too sick
to play games.

Have you no sympathy?

Nope.

See you at the end
of the show.

(dogs barking)

(clock chimes three times)

:!

School's out!

(Skits whining)

Oh relax, Skits,
she's just late.

Like yesterday.

(Skits whining)

And the day before that, yes.

(sighs)

(door opens)

That was great finding that
book about Carnival, Susan.

But now I'm the one
who has to read it.

See, Skits, I told you!

HELEN:
I sympathize, but...

Oh, hi, Martha,
hi, Skits.

Okay, so then, Susan,

you'll do the part
about Brazilian industry,

and TD can do
the cultural stuff,

but it has to be
comprehensive.

TD:
Like I even know
what that word means.

You ready to play yet?

In a minute, Martha.

How about now?

In a minute.

Has it been a minute yet?

Martha...

Now?

HELEN:
Martha!

You're standing
in Sao Paulo!

Get off!

Shoo, shoo, shoo!

HELEN:
Oh, I'm going to have
to redo all of this.

Fire hydrant, park,
dumpster tour... (sighs)

None of that's
any fun without...

(brakes squealing)

Whoa!

(annoyed squawk)

Oh, my.

Are you okay?

(angry chatter)

I didn't quite catch that.

(angry chatter)

Sorry.

I don't speak monkey.

(groaning)

Hey, I know you!

You're that Professor Monkey,
aren't you?

(dizzy groan)

(panicked squawk)

Huh?

(frantic chatter)

Run?

(squawks loudly)

Whoever is after you, Professor,
you're safe now.

They'll never find you
under here.

(growling)

Bob!

(sighs)

Are we finished now,
Professor?

(excited squawking)

Wait a minute.

I know you!

Don't you two work together?

I'm Beppo.

We write the
Monkey-Do-So-You-Can-Too books.

The professor was just taking
a little break.

I'm confused.

He was acting like you were
a bad guy.

I'm sure he was.

The professor is not only
a genius at inventing things,

he's also a genius
at inventing stories.

(embarrassed chuckle)

Well, I guess I should let you
two get back to work, then.

(squawking)

Well, how about that?

What?

He wants to know if you'd like
to join us for lunch.

I've been waiting all my life
for someone to ask me that.

Wow.

So all of these are models
for the book you're working on?

Yes, How to Make a Car
from Popsicle Sticks.

The research is complete.

It's just the writing
we have to finish.

But there's so much pressure
when we have deadlines.

The professor will do anything
to relieve it.

Relieve?

What's that?

(chattering)

Oh, uh...

(more chattering)

To relieve means get rid of
whatever is bothering you.

Oh, like getting relief
from pressure

by going for a drive
in a popsicle-stick car?

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

(Martha gobbling)

Delicious.

MARTHA:
You know,

I wish Helen
could get some relief.

She's been working on a report
for school all week.

I don't think it's ever
going to end.

(curious chatter)

Huh?

"Who's Helen?"

Oh, Helen's the person
I live with.

Usually I bring her
all sorts of relief.

But not anymore,
I guess.

Hey, I know what could
help you relax, Professor.

A dog of your own.

(chatters excitedly)

Oh, no.

Not me.

I already have a family.

But I could help you find
a pet of your own, Professor.

I know just about every stray
in Wagstaff City.

So then Professor Monkey
got really excited,

and he asked me if I could
show him some dogs.

And I said
I'd ask you first,

because I didn't know if you
were going to be free.

That's nice.

(disappointed whine)

The animal shelter's
the best place to start.

Any of these dogs
would be more than happy

to come home with you.

Hey, Millie.

Jumpy.

Drooley.

So, which one do you...

(chattering)

Oh, I get it.

A break.

He's not just a nice guy,
he's also a genius.

(barks)

Oh, a genius is someone who's
really, really, really smart.

Professor Monkey
is such a genius,

he can make a car
out of popsicle sticks.

(barks)

Professor, this is Jake.

He's a Rottweiler/Dachshund mix.

Uh, break?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, it's kittens.

Kittens grow into cats,

so, you know, it's no wonder
they're giving them away.

Break?

(squawks)

Yeesh, kittens.

You really are a genius.

(laughing)

Gin.

(squawks in frustration)

Hey!

My sausages!

Helen.

Wait'll I tell you
what happened today.

(snoring)

So I was thinking I might spend
all day at Professor Monkey's.

That sounds like...

Corned beef?

That's a weird thing
to export.

Yeah, that does sound weird.

(panting)

(sighs)

Well, I just wanted to tell you.

I might be gone
a long time.

All day, maybe.

Unless you want me here.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Well, I guess
I'm leaving now.

So... bye.

(doorbell rings)

Hi, Professor.

(device beeps)

I have a surprise.

You invented a way to talk?

Yes.

From tape and common
kitchen utensils.

Now come look.

(squawking)

He's been working on these
all night.

You mean besides inventing
a talking machine?

Well, he is a genius.

How to turn lawn furni...

(static sounds)

(repeating): Furni...

How to furnish...

Genius-ish.

A flying couch?

Don't take too long.

We need to get ready
for the...

book tour.

Wow!

(laughing)

(barking)

This looks like
a great place to unwind.

No, I don't mean unwind
that way,

like you unwind a ball
of string or something.

Unwind also means to relax
or just rest awhile.

You know, like...

Unwind.

You know, when Helen and I
want to unwind,

we just relax on the couch
and listen to music.

If she isn't too busy.

(laughing)

(clock chimes three times)

Oh no, it's :.

(confused chattering)

Helen's getting out
of school now.

We have to go back.

(squawks in dismay)

Oh...

Sorry about that.

(horn honking)

Okay, Professor.

Enough fun.

(anxious chattering)

I sympathize, but it's time
to hit the road.

You're leaving?

Where are you going?

The professor and I
are touring cities

to advertise his last book,
which was just published.

It will be
fun, fun, fun.

Oh, so I guess I won't be
seeing you for a while.

(squawking)

You want me to go with you?

Fun.

All the time.

Fun.

But Helen...

(blows a raspberry)

Hey, come on.

She's my friend.

She's just busy
with her reports

and her other friends
and stuff.

Choose.

Now, Professor Monkey,
that's not...

Please?

Look, Professor, I know if I
went off with you in that car,

I'd have a lot of fun
being your pet.

More fun than at home,
even, maybe.

But we're from two
different worlds.

I'm a talking dog and you're
a monkey who's a professor

of making craft items out of
everyday household objects.

And sooner or later--

maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow,

but on Thursday probably--

I know I'm going to realize
something.

Monkeys should not have pets?

No.

Listen to me: monkeys
should have pets.

All monkeys should have pets.

No, what I'm saying
is something else.

It's that all the fun
in the world

wouldn't make up for the hurt
it would cause

someone I care about.

And even though she's busy
right now, Helen would be hurt.

I can't come with you.

I'm sorry.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Look, Professor, I sympathize,

but I'm sure you'll find
a pet of your own someday.

I will cherish always
being friends with you.

I will, too.

Wait, what?

You will share what?

(squawking)

Cherish.

Will cherish always.

Cherish always.

Cherish always.

Huh?

Cherish means you really,
really like something.

Right?

(squawks in agreement)

Oh-- well,
I will cherish

being friends, too,
Professor.

(happy chatter)

HELEN:
Martha.

There you are.

You weren't at school.

I was getting worried.

Oh, I got... delayed.

I wanted to tell you that

I'm sorry I ignored you
this morning.

I was nervous
about my report.

But guess what?

What?

It's finished.

Really?

So who wants to fetch?

I do! Me!

Go get it.

I'm glad you're home.

I'm glad you're home, too.

Stick, stick, stick!

(laughing)

Fetch, yeah!

Right here, Martha.

MARTHA:
Do you feel pressured?

I feel pressured.

Pressure is when something's
pushing on something else.

You put pressure on a nut
to cr*ck it.

You put pressure on a button
when you press it.

But pressure can also mean

the feeling of being worried
and nervous.

Like the pressure
that comes with trying to get

your homework done on time.

You need relief, and quick.

But how?

You need to take a short time
away from work.

In other words: a break.

(sighs happily)

Later, you can relax and unwind,
go to the park with a playmate.

The park?

Great.

How do I do that?

MARTHA:
Easy.

Finish your homework first.

I knew you'd say that.

MARTHA:
Homework: it doesn't
do itself, you know.

So, you want to go outside

and throw a stick around
or something?

Martha... my ankle?

Right.

Why don't you lick it?

That's what I always do
when my paw hurts.

I can't lick my ankle.

Want me to lick it?

You're sweet but...

CAROLINA:
Hey, lazybones.

what are you doing
on the couch?

I sprained my ankle
in gym class.

Oh, I can totally empathize.

I once sprained my ankle
running to the mall.

My foot looked like an eggplant
for a week

but I got the cutest shorts
for half off.

(sniffing)

What's in there?

Tamales.

For humans.

Figures.

My dad made them for our
sleepover before he took off.

Hey, did you see this note?

What's it say?

"Remember to take Martha
to the vet."

Oh, that's trash.

Oh, I completely forgot.

Martha has to go in
for her sh*ts.

Don't be a hero, Helen.

The vet can wait
until you get better.

Longer, even.

Actually, forever.

You shouldn't put pressure
on that ankle, Helen.

Trust me.

Listen to Carolina.

She knows what she's
talking about.

I'll take Martha to the vet.

Don't listen to her.

She doesn't know
what she's talking about.

Thanks, Carolina.

No hay problema.

Come on, Martha,
I've got the leash.

Leash?

Martha, come here.

I need you on the leash.

Why?

So you don't run off.

Me?

Squirrel!

Martha!

(barking)

Martha!

Come here, right now!

Hey!

Martha!

Bologna.

Whoa, mud.

(grossed out)

Martha!

(cheering and laughing)

Got you.

Aw...

It's a good thing
you didn't...

Shoes!

Mud!

Shoes!

Carolina?

Mud shoes.

VET:
This shouldn't hurt a bit...

There.

All done.

MARTHA:
Thanks, doc.

Send us the bill.

Okay, let's hit
the road.

Uh-uh-uh.

I was afraid you'd say that.

It's kind of tough
being a dog sometimes.

I empathize.

No, wait, I sympathize.

I always get those two mixed up.

Really?

Wh-wh-what's the difference?

Empathy means you know exactly
what the other person feels

because you've gone through
the exact same thing yourself.

For instance,
I've had mud on my shoes,

so I can empathize with what
Carolina is going through.

Sympathy is something else?

Yeah.

It's sort of the same feeling--

you feel sorry for what someone
else is going through--

but with sympathy,

you haven't had the same thing
happen to you.

Sympathy, empathy.

Sort of the same,
but slightly different.

That is really fascinating.

Well, thanks, doc.

Anytime, Martha.

Ready?

Let's go.

Hurry.

I'll meet you outside.

We've got to...

Uh-oh.

Almost forgot one thing.

Okay, Doc, I'm ready.

I already gave it to you.

You did?

Oh.

Hey, that wasn't so bad.

Martha, come on,
we have to get home.

It's going to rain.

I have to do some business.

You're not doing anything,
you're just sniffing.

Don't pressure me.

Empathize a little.

(sniffing)

I don't know how you can
sniff hydrants and trees.

Dogs have the most repellent
mannerisms.

I thought mannerisms were good.

Like saying "please"
and "thank you."

That's manners.

Mannerisms are things
you do a lot.

Like if you wave your hands
when you talk,

or if you bite your fingernails
when you're nervous.

Those are manerismos,
mannerisms.

Hm.

That's three words I've learned

just on this one little trip
to the vet's.

Ooh, Rinty was here.

Martha!

It's going to rain.

Hurry up.

I told you, I have
important business.

All you have is
disgusting dog business.

Eating out of trash, rolling
in mud, sniffing everything.

That's important.

Not to me.

So?

So come on.

Maybe you should try
to have a little sympathy.

Maybe you should try
walking on a leash.

Maybe you should see what
it's like to be a dog.

(thunder)

Oh, no.

I told you.

Made it.

Martha!

Sorry. I'm wet.

I knew this was going to...

(sneezes)

to...

(sneezes)

Ay, pobrecita, let's get
you into some dry clothes

and in a warm bed.

Hey, I'm wet and cold too.

Anyone have any sympathy
for the dog?

Anybody?

(moans)

(sneezes)

(moans)

(sneezes)

(Helen keeps moaning,
Carolina keeps sneezing)

It's going to be a long night.

(thunder)

CAROLINA:
Wow, I feel so much better.

What a relief.

Um, hello?

Where did you come from?

Martha, where did
that dog come from?

CAROLINA:
Huh?

Oh no!

I'm a dog.

(barking)

Martha, you better get
that collie out of here

before Carolina sees it.

You know she's not crazy
about dogs.

(barks)

She says she is Carolina.

As if.

(barks)

What did she say?

She says she just woke up

and suddenly she was a dog.

Okay...

(sniffing)

Let me ask you
a question.

Dogs should be on leashes:
true or false?

(barks)

True?

You are Carolina.

(gasps)

Say, "Ah."

Ugh, you have bad breath.

But that's characteristic
of dogs.

(barks)

This dog has all the mannerisms
and characteristics of a dog.

Characteristics?

Characteristics are the things
that are special

about how you look
or how you act.

Oh, so when you say she has
the characteristics of a dog,

you mean...

She's furry, has four paws,
a tail, and barks.

(barks)

Carolina says she doesn't
want to have

any of the characteristics
of a dog.

She wants us to switch her back
into a human.

(barking)

As soon as possible.

Don't worry, Carolina.

We'll get you back to normal.

Excuse me?

Being a dog isn't normal?

Okay, okay.

You're not really a dog.

Lassie.

(growls)
TRUMAN:
Listen,

if we can figure out

how Carolina became a dog
in the first place,

maybe we can reverse it.

Hey, I got it!

Maybe she was bitten by some
weird half-dog, half-kid

under a full moon?

You're not saying...

Carolina's...

a weredog.

Dun-dun-dun!

Hmm.

What are the characteristics
of a weredog?

I don't know.

Like werewolves, I guess.

Only doggier.

Good theory, but there wasn't
a full moon last night.

Oh, right.

Anyone else
have any ideas?

Ooh, me.

I do.

(sighs)

Anyone else
have any ideas?

Maybe Carolina...

switched places with a dog.

You mean...

She's a dog, but at the exact
same time, somewhere out there,

there's a dog living
in Carolina's body.

Uh, don't worry, Carolina,

I'm sure a dog didn't
switch places with you.

At least I hope not.

Hmm...

Uh-huh.

It's just what I thought.

I'm afraid there's
no easy way to say this.

What?

Carolina... has fleas.

Dun-dun-dun.

(whining)

I can empathize.

Even the best of us
get fleas sometimes.

But, uh, I'll just stand
way over here, okay?

(sniffs, barks)

(sniffs)

You're right.

I smell it too.

Come on!

Ooh, a hamburger.

Dig in.
(barks)

Gross?

You're a dog now.

You should learn
to cherish these moments

when it's just you
and the trash.

(chirping)

Carolina, chasing squirrels
is what dogs do.

They're just... what you called
them yesterday.

Mannerisms, right?

We can't help ourselves.

You're a dog now, Carolina.

Trust your instincts.

(Helen gasps)

Martha, you know you're
not supposed to go

through the trash.

Carolina. Bad girl.

I can't believe I'm talking
to my cousin like this.

(barks)

What did she say?

She said she's starting
to see things

from a dog's point of view.

You mean you're seeing
things from down here?

A point of view means the way
you understand things.

When Carolina says she can see
things from your point of view,

she means she understands them
the way you do.

She really understands
a dog's point of view.

Carolina!

HELEN:
Heel, girl!

TRUMAN:
Come back!

(barking)

CAROLINA:
Hey, that's my papi.

(barking)

Ay, ay, ay!

Perro loco!

Shoo.

Go away, dog.

Vete!

Shoo, shoo.

Papi, it's me, Carolina!

ALL:
Carolina! Here, girl!

(whistling)

It's Tío Jorge.

Come on.

I guess we'd better tell him
what happened.

But how could it happen?

Well, it's hard to say.

She was either bitten
by a weredog,

or it could just be
that she's...

just really lucky.

I don't care if Carolina
is a dog.

Es mi hija, and I love her.

We must find her.

Come on!

Carolina!

Carolina.

Carolina!

¿Dónde estás?

She's a collie,
no tags, and...

No tags!

I know where she is.

So you see, that collie

isn't a real dog...
she's a person.

I totally sympathize,

but if I let every dog
that thought it was a human

out of the shelter,
this place would be empty.

Well, what if I adopt her
and I take her home with me?

That's against section six,
rule of the Dog Shelter code.

"A dog cannot adopt
another dog...

even if that dog can speak."

You just made up that part
about speaking, didn't you?

Well, uh...
(door opens)

There she is!

Ah mi hijita!

That dog is my daughter.

Release her immediately.

Well, she does have your eyes.

Carolina, even though
you're a dog,

I still cherish you, mi hija.

Did you catch all the words
in today's episode

about empathy and sympathy?

Wait.

Carolina's stuck
as a dog forever?

What's wrong with that?

Martha!

Oh, all right.

(yawns)

Um, hello?

(gasps)

I'm me! What a relief!

Hey, Martha,
want to go for a walk?

Huh? Huh?

Uh... sure.

But I don't do leashes.

Me neither.

No way.

I totally understand
your point of view.

Are you sure you feel okay?

Oh, yeah.

And I can totally empathize
with you now.

Who wants breakfast?

I do. I'm hungry.
Me, me, me!

I heard you sprained
your ankle,

so I brought you a card
and some chocolates.

Ooh, chocolates.

Thanks, TD.

MARTHA:
Hold it!

Is that a sympathy card
or an empathy card?

What's the difference?

Sympathy means
you feel bad for someone

and what they're going through.

Well, I've sprained
my ankle before,

so I know what it feels like.

That's empathy.

Empathy means you understand
exactly how someone else feels

because you've gone
through it too.

There.

Now it's an empathy card.

I'll take those chocolates now.

It's empty.

Yeah, I ate them already.

You have my sympathy.

I feel bad that you didn't
get any chocolates.

But I'm sure you can
empathize with me

because they were delicious
and I couldn't help myself.

Yeah, thanks, TD.

You're welcome.

Did you catch all the words

about pressure
and point of view?

Here are a few again.

Pressure can also mean

the feeling of being worried
and nervous.

Mannerisms are things
you do a lot,

like if you wave your hands
when you talk.

A point of view means the way
you understand things.

When Carolina says she can see
things from your point of view,

she means she understands them
the way you do.

See you next time.

(game beeping, stops)

Aw.

My sympathies.