05x07 - Mouse Patrol/The Big Knockover

[bunniefuu]

♪ Martha was an average dog. ♪

♪ She went... and... and... ♪
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say ♪

♪ Now she speaks... ♪

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique... ♪

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates ♪

♪ Indicates and explicates ♪

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ Hyperventilates. ♪

♪ Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. ♪

Hey!n't have them.

Everyone stop
what you're doing!

We've got a new neighbor!

What do you think they're like?

Do you think they have a dog?

We won't know till we get there.

(doorbell rings)

Uh-huh?

Hello, Mister, um...

Pangborn.

Hi, I'm Mariella Lorraine,

and this is my daughter Helen
and her friend Truman.

We live just
down the street and...

Do you have any pets?

Did your dog just say something?

Don't mind Martha.

She's just excited
that you're moving in.

Oh, uh...

Listen, it sounds like
we caught you at a bad time.

So here's a little
welcoming gift,

and if you ever need anything,
don't hesitate to let us know.

Anytime!

Well, actually, I do.

You do? What?

Do you maybe have a cat
I could borrow?

Oh.

He's a cat person.

It would just be
for the weekend.

It looks like I've got
a serious mouse problem

and my own cat is a little
too old to deal with it.

Listen, between you and me,
cats are terrible with mice.

Let me deal with them.

I mean, what are
new neighbors for?

(snoring)

PANGBORN:
As you can see,

Lightning's just not up
to the job anymore.

Lightning,
this is Martha.

(meows and snores)

You can see my predicament.

I can?

I'd love to!

What?

I'd love to see your
predicament.

Where is it?

I've never even
seen one before.

No, no...

Oh, is it over there?

No, a predicament is not
something you can see.

When you say you have
a predicament,

that means you have a problem.

Oh!

So your predicament is that
you have a problem with mice.

No, with Lightning!

I mean, yes.

My problem is with Lightning
and the mice.

(sighing)

I'm sorry, forgive me,
the mice just have me so upset.

Well, I can see
your predicament.

What I can't see are the mice.

They're hiding.

So here's the thing.

I'm going away on a business
trip this weekend.

If you can deal with these mice
while I'm gone,

that would be the perfect
solution.

No problem.

I just have one question.

What does "solution" mean?

This is why I prefer cats.

You just point them at the mice
and say "Go."

Okay, now I understand.

The solution to a problem is how
you fix or solve the problem.

Like if your food bowl
was empty,

the solution would be
to fill it up again.

Mm-hmm, that's right.

Which means I'm the solution
to your mouse problem.

That's right,
you're the solution.

Oh, this is so interesting!

So here's another question...

Please, can you just deal
with the mice?

(snoring)

(mice squeaking)

(nervous squeak)

(yawns)

(mice sighing with relief)

(giggling)

MARTHA:
Hey there!

How you doin'?

(mice squealing)

Huh?

(meows)

"Congratulations"?

For what? Scaring them?

Cats-- always with the sarcasm.

(yawns)

Oh, okay, well, now I see
what the mouse problem is.

(whimpering)

It's okay, you guys,
I understand the problem.

Lightning's too old
to play with you.

But don't worry, I'm here
and I love to play.

And between you and me,

cats aren't really much fun
even when they're not too old.

I mean, I can come up
with much better games

than just chasing you guys
around all the time.

Oh!

Have you ever played
hide-and-seek?

It's easy: you guys
just count to ten,

and then you come
and look for me.

(chattering)

MARTHA:
Are you counting to ten?

(squeaking ten times)

(giggling)

(chattering)

Hi!

(squealing)

(Martha laughing)

You did it!

You found me!

Okay, now it's your turn
to hide.

One, two,

three, four, five, six...

So, how'd it go?

Okay.

I've made some headway, but it's
going to take another day or so

to really solve the problem.

Mice are tricky, huh?

They sure are.

Now I know how
Lightning feels.

It's a lot of work.

Yeah.

But it'll be so worth it

when I see the look
on Mr. Pangborn's face.

(gasps)

Surprise!

(yawns)

I know, amazing,
isn't it?

It took two whole days
to get them to really trust me,

but now they're out and about

and ready to play with you
night and day.

I... I...

Oh, don't worry
about thanking me.

There was one small
predicament, though:

you forgot to leave any food out
for me to feed 'em.

But don't worry,
I found a solution.

Oops, didn't mean to leave
the fridge open.

Henry, what did I tell you about
closing the refrigerator?

(squeaking)

(horrified scream)

Huh, I don't know that game.

Let me just go ask him
how to play it.

(chattering)

I can't believe it!

I asked you to solve
the mouse problem,

not to have them inv*de
every room of my house!

Now how am I supposed to...

I'm sorry,
could I say something?

What?

What does "inv*de" mean?

(impatiently):
What does "inv*de"...

When animals inv*de a place,

it means that a lot of them
go into the place

and it's hard to get them out.

And this is an invasion.

They're everywhere.

They're taking over!

Oh, they didn't inv*de
your house.

I mean, I asked them to come out
of their holes.

Asked them?!

Yeah, I had to.

They were so shy.

Mice are vermin!

They're dirty and filthy and...

Oh, I see, you mean
about the kitchen.

I'm so sorry, we were about
to clean it up

but you got home earlier
than we expected and...

No!

Listen, thank you for trying
to help, Martha, really,

but I think I'm just going to
have to call the exterminator.

Whoa, I know what
an exterminator is.

(chattering)

MARTHA:
Mr. Pangborn!

(squeaking in unison)

Uh...

What are they doing?

Uh, playing hide-and-seek.

Listen, will you just let me
talk to them?

If they know how you feel, I'm
sure they'll do what you ask.

They're very nice.

(squeaking loudly)

Excuse me,
but I think it's better

if I break this to them
in mouse.

Uh, so...

(squeaking)

Ex-ter-mi-na-tor.

(squeaking in fear)

Mouse problem solved!

Oh yes, he was very happy
after that.

He even gave me this bone
for a bonus

and said he would recommend me
to everyone he knows.

(phone ringing)

MOM:
Martha, telephone!

Oh, hi, Mrs. Oatley.

It's Truman's mom.

Uh-huh, yeah, I did.

What?

Oh, no problem,
I'll be right over.

I guess she met Mr. Pangborn

at the farmers' market
this afternoon

and he told her
all about me.

He told everybody!

Told them what?

That you're great
at getting rid of mice.

Well, I'm okay at it,
I guess.

I just tell them
they should move out.

You've got mice?

Yeah.

My mom noticed
them today.

We pushed back the fridge
and found that mouse hole.

She won't come in here
anymore.

Personally, I'm planning to stay
up here till they're gone.

(squeaking)

(screaming)

Maybe one of you guys
can bring me my pajamas?

And a pillow?

You guys, don't be silly.

Make them leave, Martha.

You don't want to play
some hide-and-seek first?

BOTH:
No!

(sighs)

Hey guys, it's me.

So these people...

(muffled squeaks)

Okay.

(whistling)

(squeaking)

You might want to open
the front door.

Wow!

Mission accomplished.

Hola, TD's parents
called for you, Martha.

They did?

Yes, you're getting
quite a reputation.

♪ ♪

You know,
I've been thinking,

do you think there's
something odd

about all these people
having mouse problems

one right after another?

Not really.

Why not?

Well, because they're
the same mice.

What?

They're the same mice.

Henry and Sally and Gertrude
and Frank and Alex

and Imelda and Imelda Jr.
and Imelda the Third...

Wait, you mean you just
tell the mice to leave one house

and they just go to another?

Uh-huh.

You can't do that.

Well, why not?

Why?

Well, yeah.

Why?

(barking)

(squeaking)

That's why.

(squeaking):
Martha!

Oh, Martha,
thank goodness!

Can you do whatever it is you do
to make them go?

But Helen just told me
I couldn't.

What?

She's just relocating them
over and over.

No, I'm not.

I mean... what's "relocate"?

"Relocate" means you move
to another place.

You're relocating the mice.

You're moving them
to another place.

But isn't that what everybody
wants them to do?

I mean, if they can't stay here
and they can't relocate,

then what are they
supposed to do?

Can't they just go out
in a field somewhere?

Good idea!

I'll ask.

(squeaking):
Uh-uh!

Did they just say "no"?

Not quite.

That's actually mouse for,

"We're house mice, and we don't
want to live in the filthy grass

with the snakes
and the gophers."

(squeaking and chanting)

What are they saying now?

Um...

"Two, four, six, eight,
we refuse to relocate."

(squeaking)

Imelda Jr. wants me to thank you
for teaching them a new word.

Wow, so they can chant.

They can do all sorts of things.

You should see them at charades!

And their production of King
Lear is really something.

It gave me chills!

They put on plays?

Sometimes.

When they're not practicing
ballet.

You know, what they need
isn't a house.

It's an agent--

someone to help them find
acting jobs.

Well, that's why they were
at the Parkington place.

MOM:
What?

Mr. Pangborn is
a theatrical agent.

They were hoping to audition
for him, but then...

I think I've got
a solution.

PANGHORN:
I gotta say, these are the best
dancing animals I've seen.

If they'll let me
represent them,

they're welcome to stay with me.

Does that mean
what I think it means?

They can stay
at your house?

They can stay at my house.

Uh, in their own
special room.

Well, that's what I call
a happy ending.

(squeaking happily)

Obstacle: an obstacle is
something that gets in the way,

so you can't do something
that you want to do.

Skits has a predicament.

That means he has a problem.

He wants the dog treat.

Only there are some obstacles
in the way.

First, he'll have to crawl
under this obstacle,

then carefully step over
this obstacle.

Here's one more obstacle

that stands between Skits
and his treat.

Skits has to step across this.

Once he's past the obstacles,
he gets his treat.

Ready, Skits?

(barking)

Go!

(splashing)

And that's
another solution.

I guess obstacles are
no obstacle to Skits.

The name's Martha.

Species: canine.

Profession: detective.

In my time,
I've been around the block

and sniffed it all twice.

I've witnessed...

TD:
Cut! Hold it!

Martha, just tell us
what happened.

You don't have to pretend
to be a detective.

Oh, you're right.

Sorry.

I don't have to pretend
because I am one!

I was a police dog, remember?

BOTH:
We remember.

So can't I come with you to the
town council meeting tonight?

You know dogs
aren't allowed.

Okay...

I'll start over.

Action!

It all started

on a dark and stormy night,

the night the trash cans
went down.

The next morning,
I was in the middle

of some important
detective business.

I'll catch you, sausage truck!

(Mrs. Demson screaming)

I knew that sound
meant trouble.

In this case,
it also meant breakfast.

(gobbling loudly)

Someone knocked over
my trash can!

If that's not an emergency,
I don't know...

Hang on.

Marla!

(whimpering)

Uh, Martha.

Don't try to wriggle
out of it.

I can see you're
responsible for this.

Wait, no, I'm not
responsible for this.

That is, if you mean I did it.

That's what responsible means.

If you are responsible for
something bad that has happened,

it is your fault.

You made
the bad thing happen.

No!

We were just...

I mean, I was just
helping clean up.

Like a good neighbor.

(burps)

(whimpering)

Police?

You still there?

MARTHA:
Mrs. Demson was as mad
as a wet hen

and twice as squawky.

Time to hightail it
out of there!

Can you believe Mrs. Demson

just assumed I knocked
over her trash can?

(confused barking)

Assume?

If you assume something is true,
you think that it's true.

She assumed I did it.

But it's not true.

She has no proof.

MARTHA:
It turned out Mrs. Demson

wasn't the only person
making assumptions.

All over Wagstaff City, trash
cans were being knocked over

like blocks at a preschool.

Hey!

And everyone was pinning it
on the dogs.

When it looked like the day
couldn't get any worse,

it got worse.

A lot worse.

Come on, Martha.

If you're going to dig
in the trash,

you're going to take a bath.

(grunting)

Of course, Mrs. Demson.

It won't happen again.

Martha!

Did you really think I wouldn't
hear about the incident today?

That depends.

What's an incident?

An incident is something
that happened.

Like the incident
with Mrs. Demson's trash can.

That's not fair!

Mrs. Demson
doesn't have any proof.

She just assumed I did it.

I better go set this straight.

Bath first.

Rats.

MARTHA:
The next morning,
we had a visitor.

I'll see you in the town hall!

A leash law?

She said that?

That's right.

She's going to bring it up at
the next town council meeting.

What a great idea!

Um, do you know
what a leash law means?

Sure.

It means no more leashes.

Leashes will be
against the law.

Whoo!

No, a leash law means that
dogs will have to wear leashes

whenever they go outside.

Wait, what?

Seriously?

Mm-hmm.

But... but that means

I wouldn't be able to go
anywhere by myself.

That's right.

Oh, no!

Well, maybe people
won't agree with her.

MARTHA:
But it turned out Mrs. Demson

got a lot of people to sign on
to her little scheme.

People with trash cans, mostly.

It was time to call
a meeting.

That's right, you heard me:
leashes!

(barking)

No more freedom to go
where you want.

No more chasing squirrels.

No more...

(panting)

Skits, you're late.

(whimpering and yawning)

Now, you probably
want to know:

what proof do they have
that dogs were responsible?

None!

Those trash cans could have been
knocked over by anyone.

But what do people do?

They. Blame. Dogs.

(barking angrily)

I know.

Totally unfair, right?

But seriously,
which one of you did it?

(sniffing)

Nobody wants to talk, eh?

Looks like I'm going to have
to question each of you.

Cisco!

Where were you on the night
of yesterday?

Tell it to me straight,
no funny business.

So I got the story
from all the dogs.

Cisco claimed he was
chasing Nelson.

John was hiding under the bed

because he was afraid
it might rain.

(whimpering)

Skits, I know where you were.

(relieved bark)

I didn't let any of them off.

Where were you?

Where were you?

Where were you?

MARTHA:
Not even me.

It wasn't me,
I'm telling you!

I didn't do it!

Sound a little
nervous there, bub.

Got something you want to get
off your fuzzy chest?

Lay off me!

Why are you being so mean?

Quit blubbering.

Pull yourself together.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

I'm scared, that's all.

Well, watch your step.

Remember, I got my eye on you.

Yeah, thanks, I'll remember.

(whimpering)

(confused whimpering)

And that goes
for the rest of you, too.

Hmm.

So every dog has an alibi.

They do?

How did they get one?

Where's mine?
I'm starving!

An alibi isn't food, Martha.

An alibi is
a kind of excuse.

If you have an alibi, you can
prove you were somewhere else

when something bad happened.

So when the dogs all said
they were doing something else

when the trash got knocked over,
that means they all have alibis?

Right.

But if none of the dogs did it,
who did?

MARTHA:
The answer hit me smack
between the eyes

like a poorly aimed dog treat.

We just needed more detectives
on the b*at.

If we work as a team,

we'll find out who's
responsible in no time.

Right?

So who's with me?

(barking)

MARTHA:
That night,
the team went to work.

(sniffing)

(grunting)

Ow.

But even the most dedicated
dog detectives need one thing:

sleep, and plenty of it.

(crash in the distance)

(mumbling)

Mmm, bacon, hamsicles...

(snoring)

(yawns)

(gasps)

Holy hamburgers!

It's got to be an inside job.

Someone inside this house!

I considered the possible
suspects.

Helen?

No way.

(laughing evilly)

Parents?

(grunting)

Obviously not.

Baby Jake?

Nah, too little.

If they didn't do it, there was
only one suspect left...

You!

Skits! Bad dog!

(barks defensively)

Yeah, I am assuming
you did it!

Who else could come
into our kitchen

and knock over our garbage can?

(barking angrily)

Me?

What're you...

Of course it wasn't me.

(growling)

(frustrated sighing)

MARTHA:
As a dog-tective,

I should have smelled trouble
a mile away.

But the culprit was right
under my nose all along.

Skits hiding from Mrs. Demson?

Suspicious.

Showing up late, yawning.

No wonder he was tired.

He'd been awake all night,
causing trouble.

I could see it all now.

By day, he was Skits,
my friend.

But by night, he was Skits,
evil dog villain

and trash can
knocker-over-er.

(gasps)

(growling)

That night, neither one of us
got a wink of shut-eye.

(yawning and barking)

No, you fall asleep.

(yawning and barking)

I don't trust you either.

If I fall asleep,

you'll probably trash
the kitchen again.

(barking)

But I didn't do it.

You did!

(both barking)

(loud clatter)

Keep it down, will ya?

You're going to wake everyone!

(squeaking)

Huh?

(barking)

(squeaking)

(barking)

That's right!

Skedaddle out of here,
you stripy sneak!

That's the last time you'll mess
with our family's trash!

(gasps)

Ay que lio!

What a mess!

I know it looks bad,
but we didn't do it!

Well, okay, we did
some of it, but...

Mom! A raccoon!

Is he running away?

I bet he's still running.

Wait, a raccoon
was in our house?

I guess so.

And there are two, no,
three more in our yard.

Not for long.

Ready, Skits?

(growling)

(barking)

And that's the true story
of the trash can incident

and how I, Detective Martha,
cracked the case.

As you heard, the raccoons
were responsible for the damage,

not the dogs.

So Wagstaff City
should not have a leash law.

Besides, if they are on leashes,

they won't be able
to keep the raccoons away.

I wish dogs were allowed
at town council meetings.

(barking)
Okay, okay, calm down.

You can look in a minute.

(Mrs. Demson grumbling)

Next thing you know,
dogs will be running this town!

We won! No leash law!

Woo-hoo!

Whoa!

(loud thud)

Good job, Martha.

Thanks.

Do we get a treat?

Sure.

MARTHA:
Everything was back to normal,
for the moment.

But crime never sleeps.

And whenever a tipped-over
trash can happens,

a dog will be there.

Sometimes,
we didn't even do it.

Not all animals are awake
at the same time.

Some creatures are active
mostly during the day.

Pet dogs...

Squirrels!

And, uh...

Oh, yeah!

People.

(yawning)

Raccoons, on the other hand,
are nocturnal.

Nocturnal animals are awake at
night and asleep during the day.

(chattering)

The raccoon wants you to know
that lots of other animals

are awake at night, too,
like possums and owls and...

Skits?

What are you doing here?

You're not nocturnal.

(barking)

You're waiting for that squirrel
to come down?

(barking)

Well, I hate to break it to you,
but squirrels aren't nocturnal.

He's asleep.

Another thing that
isn't nocturnal: me.

Good night!

(snoring)

or check out your local library

for the Martha Speaks books.