05x08 - Stanley Saves the Day/Milo Goes for Gold

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Martha Speaks". Aired: September 1, 2008 - November 18, 2014.*
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A family dog gains the power of speech after the letters in some alphabet soup wind up misrouted to her brain instead of her stomach in this whimsical animated series adapted from books by Susan Meddaugh.
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05x08 - Stanley Saves the Day/Milo Goes for Gold

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Martha was an average dog. ♪

♪ She went... and... and... ♪
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say ♪

♪ Now she speaks... ♪

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique... ♪

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates ♪

♪ Indicates and explicates ♪

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ Hyperventilates. ♪

♪ Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. ♪

Lanky, scrawny,
swift as a bird!

We've got the best words
you've ever heard!

Stamina, endurance,
dexterity!

We are going to...

What rhymes with dexterity?

Hey, there!

We're cheering
for today's words.

So listen to them all,
and we'll see you

at the end of the show.

I've got it!

We'll improve your...
vocabulary.

Yeah!

We'll work on it.

(loud boom)

Whoa!
What was that?

Gah! Thunder!

Hide!

It can't be thunder.

There's not a cloud in the...

(loud boom)

It's coming
from Truman's!

Maybe he blew up
his chemistry set again.

No.

We've been invaded.

Invaded?

By aliens?

No, by Stanley.

He's my cousin.

(TV playing loudly
in background)

Ooh, floor food!

Hello, new favorite person.

Hey!

Talking dog!

Cool.

There's been a couple of movies
about that.

Really?
Tell me more.

Hurry up, Tru!

Man.

Tru-man.

It's not as if my name
is multisyllabic.

There are only two.

Come on, man!

Ah.

There's the second syllable.

Now if he could only
put them together.

You're missing the best part.

No, I'm not.

It's so loud,
I can practically see it.

Aw, come on, cuz.

You got to blast it if you want
to get the full effect.

Is that The Big Break-in?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
did you see it?

No, but I saw
The Even Bigger Break-In

and The Biggest Break-In Ever.

Stanley is obsessed
with movies.

He can tell you the plot
of almost any movie there is.

Really?

Uh-huh.

He comes to town once a year
with my aunt and uncle.

They're all staying
at the hotel.

(loud TV sound effects)

They kicked Stanley out on
account of the TV being so loud.

The hotel management?

No. My aunt and uncle.

(groaning)

(shouting):
This is as noisy
as a turbo-powered cat.

With a jackhammer.

Falling down stairs.

At a rock concert.

(yelling):
What did she say?

(yelling):
Something about cats.

That was great!

My ears are still ringing.

Relax, Tru.

Halfway there.

Can he finish it?

I have just what
the doctor ordered.

The rest of my name?

What?

No, Man!

There it is!

The sequel!

It's up in my room.

(sighs)

(man's voice):
Watch it, bub.

(fake high-pitched voice):
I mean, excuse me, young man.

(sniffing)

Pardon me?

Have we met somewhere before?

(exclaiming)

(groaning)

Martha!

You shouldn't startle people
like that.

(sniffing)

There's something familiar
about those two.

I feel like I've sniffed them
somewhere before.

Maybe they wear
a perfume like Grandma's?

Nope.

They shop at Karl's?

Nuh-uh.

They use the same
laundry detergent as us?

No, sir.

(elevator bell dings)

(gasps)

Great gobs of goulash!

Those were no ladies.

That was the world-famous
jewel thief,

Louie Kablooie and his
accomplice Jimmy Gimme Moore!

Wow!
Two crooks?

No way.

Way!

Yes way!

(sniffing)

I'd know that smell anywhere.

Martha's right.

Those two are way
too burly to be women.

MARTHA:
Yeah.

And they're big
and strong, too.

That's what burly means--

that someone
is big and strong.

Like wrestlers.

Wrestlers are burly.

Or football players,
those are super burly.

But why would two world-famous
and burly thieves

vacation in Wagstaff City
in dresses?

Huh?

Because they're not on vacation!

And their next job
is right here.

They're trying to rob
the jewelry store again!

I know exactly how
they're going to do it.

I saw it in this movie
The Big Drill.

What happened was
these guys robbed

a jewelry store
by getting a hotel room,

then drilling right through
the wall and into the vault.

Didn't anyone hear them?

That's the trick.

They waited until
there was road construction.

The noise of the construction
covered the sound of the drill.

(loud machinery approaching)

(gasps)

They must have
seen the movie too.

Come on.

If Kablooie's going
to rob the jewelry store,

he needs to be in room .

(elevator bell dings)

(yells)

Vamoose!

The talking dog!

(yells)

MARTHA:
It's those two, all right.

This sniffer is never wrong.

Yeah, but even
if it is them,

how do we know

they're doing
anything bad?

Look!

Where are they going?

ALL:
Shh!

Let me help you, ma'am.

Hands off,
you guttersnipe!

Rocks?

What are they doing
with rocks?

They're part of the wall.

Just like in the movie.

We've got
to stop them!

Maybe we should
just tell the police

and let them handle it.

Um... that may not
work so well.

Why not?

Well, let's just say
I've called them before.

(monkey screeching)

Monkeys are driving cars!

They're going
to take over the planet

and put all the people in cages!

I'm guessing
you could say

I'm the boy
who cried wolf.

Or monkey.

And asteroid, and blob.

The police will say
what they always say:

I have an overactive imagination

and that I watch
too many movies.

We'll have to stop
those crooks on our own.

You're right, Tru.

Man...

(gasps)

Oh, man!

I know exactly how to do it!

I saw it in a movie.

Come on.

Oh, so close.

Okay, here's how
it works.

Each of us has
a role to play.

STANLEY:
Helen and the dogs will check
into the hotel.

(bell dings)

STANLEY:
You'll be our inside team.

(whispering):
The eagle has landed.

STANLEY:
Tru will be the Brainy Guy.

He'll keep an eye on all the
players and tell us what to do.

The sensors are picking up
vibrations coming from room .

They've started drilling.

(elevator bell dings)

(whispering):
All clear.

(whispering):
Here I go!

STANLEY:
TD will be the guy
who messes up

and almost ruins the operation.

Uh, hi.

Just... cleaning the floor.

New system.

See?

No footprints.

(groans)

Now don't let the kid out
until the job's done.

STANLEY:
Only it isn't really a mess up.

(whispering):
I'm in!

Stanley, you're on!

STANLEY:
It's just a plot
to distract them

from this whole other operation

going on behind their backs
by me-- Action Guy!

I'll do all the athletic stuff.

Being athletic means that
you're good at sporty things.

Athletic people can run
and do flips

and help catch bad guys.

And Action Guy
is very athletic!

(elevator bell dings)

Check to make sure
the coast is clear.

STANLEY:
I'll drop out of the airshaft
like a ninja,

silently switch the bags...

rescue TD...

HELEN:
Hang on, hang on!

How come
all I get to do

is tell you guys
the coast is clear?

Yeah.

Why do you get
to be Action Guy?

I want to be Action Guy!

And what about me?

Don't I get
to do anything?

Of course.

You're the talking dog.

You get to say something
funny in the end.

Oh!

Okay, I'm cool with that.

But why can't I
be Action Girl?

Girls are athletic too,
you know.

(all talking at once)

Hold it, hold it!

You're all too scrawny
to be Action Guy.

What do you mean, scrawny?

Scrawny means someone
is weak and small.

I know what
scrawny means.

I'm just saying
he's the scrawny one.

Oh, yeah?

Well, tell me this.

Can you climb walls?

Can you?

Uh, yeah... yeah!

Watch and learn,
my friends.

Watch and learn.

(grunts)

(groans)

Stanley!
Are you okay?

Did that hurt?

It sure looked
like it did!

I'm fine.

(groans)

Boy, being athletic
is harder than it looks.

Hey, quiet!

Listen.

What? I don't
hear anything.

Exactly.

There's no sound.

So...?

So...

The construction stopped.

The jackhammers, too!

You mean...

Those crooks must have finished
blasting through the wall.

They're probably grabbing
the jewels right now!

Time is running out!

We have to do
something.

Maybe we do what
we should have done

in the first place--
call the police.

No.

We find their getaway car.

Getaway car?

It could be anywhere.

How are we going
to find that?

I just did.

The paint is still wet.

Let's call the police.

They'll never
get here in time.

We have to keep
those crooks here.

(chuckling)

Piece of cake.

Told you we didn't have
to worry about those kids.

(chuckles)

(barks)

Going somewhere?

(muffled yelling)

(exclaiming)

(dogs barking)

Nice doggy,
nice doggy.

OFFICER MINETTI:
Well, I'll be.

How did you find out
about this?

Stanley figured it out.

You?

The "space-monkeys-
are-invading" kid?

Yeah, I guess I was right
this time.

Right!
Yay, Stanley.

But I couldn't
have done it

without Helen
and Martha and TD

and especially
my man Tru.

Man, Tru?

Man, Tru?!

(screaming)

Stanley!

What got into him?

I think I'm supposed to say
something funny here.

Hello there!

I'd like to talk to you
about "muscular" and "lanky."

When someone is muscular,
it means they are very strong

and have lots of muscles.

But when someone is lanky, that
means they're tall and skinny.

Animals can be muscular
or lanky, too.

Muscular.

Lanky.

Muscular.

Lanky.

Of course, you can
be lanky and still have

the most important muscle
of all: your brain.

Technically, your brain
is an organ, not a muscle.

Come on, Tru...

...man!

It's just a figure
of speech.

Work with me, will you?

Okay.

Muscular and lanky.

Two different words
for two different body types.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Maybe you wouldn't trip so much
if you stopped reading.

Stop reading?

But this is Sporty Sport!

What's that?

The magazine
that has everything

you'd ever want to know
about sports.

As it says:

"A sport is a kind of game
that has running,

jumping or throwing,
hitting or catching balls."

Whoa!

Are you reading too?

Nope, just tripped.

Hey, do you guys
want to have a race?

Just for fun?

Well, we could race
to my house.

My Dad made cookies.

Sure.
Okay.

Winner gets a giant glass
of milk?

Deal.

Since I run faster
than all of you,

I'll just be the referee.

Everybody ready?

On your marks,
get set, go!

(all cheering)

(panting)

(panting):
Woo-hoo!

I win!

Thank you, thank you.

First, I'd like to thank
my swift feet.

What are swift feet?

Swift means really fast.

Ohh, oh, you do have swift feet.

But I also want
to thank you guys.

I couldn't have
won this race

if it wasn't for you
being less swift than me.

So this prize
is for everyone.

Who wants a sip?

Eh, no thanks.
That's okay.

I'm all right.

(sighs)

Victory!

What's this?

Oh that's a trophy
from soccer.

Yeah, we got those when we won
the league championship.

Oh.

What's wrong?

Everybody else is
always winning at sports

and I've never won anything.

What are you
talking about?

I've never won anything.

You won the mini-bowling
tournament at field day.

Oh, yeah.

I was the mini-bowling king!

Oh, sorry.

TD and Alice win
competitions all the time.

And look at all the stuff
that Helen's won.

Actually, a couple
of those aren't even mine.

Martha won "best talking dog"
in some phony contest

and Skits won a contest
for catching flying objects.

Great.

Even the dogs won more stuff
than I have!

(snoring):
Hamburger.

But you're younger
than we are.

You've still got time
to win lots of trophies.

Yeah, when I was your age,
I didn't win anything.

What are you
talking about?

You always used to win
at everything.

Kickball...
Shh...

capture the flag...
(fake coughing)

table tennis.

Not to mention...

Ahem!

Nothing, actually.

Now that I think about it,
maybe it was somebody else.

Okay, I think I'll go
back to sleep now.

(fake snoring)

It's so unfair.

Everyone in the world is
winning stuff except for me.

Not everybody.

My Dad's never won
a competition

and he's way older
than all of us.

Hey, guess what?

My bowling league
finished first.

I just won
a free pizza!

(screams in frustration)

Milo doesn't like pizza?

(all sigh)

MILO:
Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!!

What was that?

MILO:
Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

(groans)

Hey, what
are you doing?

Club swinging.

It's an Olympic sport.

I'm going to start
training now

so I can win
a gold medal one day.

Club swinging?

Are you sure
that's an Olympic sport?

Yeah, take a look.

But did you read the part
where it says club swinging

hasn't been in
the Olympics since ?

What... whoa!

I guess I missed
that part.

Great, I wasted my entire
morning practicing.

Nah, it's not a waste
if you're having fun.

But I wasn't having fun.

I kind of hate
club swinging.

But there are plenty
of other sports

you can practice
and get good at.

Like basketball,
or golf or tennis.

Yeah, I tried
all of those

and I didn't
really like them.

Not even tennis?!

I love tennis.

That's the one
with the fuzzy yellow balls

I like to chew on, right?

That's right.

There must be a sport
out there that you like.

What about competitive
dog-scratching?

Is that a sport?

It should be.

I don't think so.

But there's an idea.

You could make up
your own sport.

Somebody had to come up with all
the sports that exist today.

Right!

I can invent a sport
that I like,

and if I invent it,
I can win at it!

Thanks for coming to try
Wagstaff City's newest sport:

the crabwalkstacle course!

The what?

It's a race designed
to test your stamina.

"Stamina"-- does that
mean how fast you are?

No, your stamina
is how long

you can do something
without getting tired.

Everyone will have to crabwalk
to the park and back.

The park?

Milo, that's far.
Exactly.

Which is why stamina is more
important than being fast.

I've got lots of stamina
from carrying a heavy backpack

through my old neighborhood.

The winner gets
this really cool trophy

I made from
paper towel rolls.

(all exclaiming)

I've set up some obstacles
to make it more challenging.

Martha, do you mind
being the referee again?

I would be happy to.

Everybody ready?

On your marks,
get set, go!

Congratulations!

Woohoo, I did it!

You got second place!

Congratulations, Alice.

You proved that you've got
a lot of stamina.

I'm sorry, should've
let you win.

No way.

If I'm going to win
at something,

it has to be fair and square.

Otherwise it doesn't count.

Just come back tomorrow.

This new sport requires
dexterity.

So what's the sport?

All I see is
a bunch of corn.

Exactly!

It's Ultimate Corn-Shucking!

How is that different
from regular corn-shucking?

Well, mainly it has the word
"ultimate" in it.

And what is dexterity?

Dexterity is how well
you do stuff

with your hands and fingers.

Peeling the husks of corn
takes dexterity.

Everybody has two minutes

to shuck as much corn
as possible.

On your marks,
get set, shuck!

...seven, eight.

That's eight for TD.

So far Alice is in the lead
with nine.

Let's count yours, Milo.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

Looks like Milo's
the winner so far.

Let's see how many Truman has.

Seven, eight, nine,

ten, !

Aw, man.

Sorry for having
so much dexterity.

It must be from
piano practice.

It's all right.

You won fair
and square, Truman.

Congratulations.

So what happens
to all of this corn?

My dad is having a barbecue
this weekend.

By the way, he says thanks.

Since I didn't win
at stamina or dexterity,

I came up with a sport
that tests coordination.

Coordination means
how well you can control

the way your body moves.

Whoa.

(groans)

That was not
very good coordination.

In this sport,
you have to make three laps

around the yard
while tossing this ball

from one hand to another.

Hey, I can do that!

But that's not all.

You have to do it while
balancing a book on your head.

If you drop the book
or your ball,

you have to stop
where you are

and pick them up
before you can move on.

On your marks,
get set, bounce!

Whoa.

(groans)

Coordination and I don't get
along so well.

Whoa.

Uh...

Come on, Milo.

You can do it!

(all gasp)

Oh, so close.

Sorry, Milo.

That's okay.

I'm actually having fun coming
up with these new sports.

So you've tried
stamina,

dexterity
and coordination.

What's next?

Oh, I know.

Dog scratching!

Dog scratching
is a very important skill.

Everyone will compete
and I'll be the judge.

I'll rub your belly
if you want.

You could come up
with a sport

that has
different parts to it.

Like the triathlon:

it's running,
swimming and cycling.

That's a good idea.

You're good at so many things

and some of us
are only good at one.

Okay.

I'll try to think
of something.

Next contestant.

Test your dexterity.

Okay, so this time
I've come up

with the ultimate sport
that maybe I can finally win.

And I hope I win
because I'm running out

of paper towel rolls
to make trophies.

So, what's the new sport?

Well, instead of the triathlon,
which has three parts,

it's called the five-athlon,
which has five parts.

First, you have to use
your dexterity

by filling ten water balloons
with a squeeze bottle.

Then, in a test of coordination,

you have to throw
all ten balloons

at this giant poster
of a monkey.

Then you'll need to muster
enough stamina

to run around the yard
ten times.

While doing the chicken dance.

(all gasp)

You mean the dance
that goes like this?

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

(claps to b*at)

Exactly.

I love that dance.

After you've chicken-danced
around the yard,

part four is to frog-hop around
the tree three times.

Ribbit.

Ribbit.

In part five,
you have to use coordination

and balance to cross the beam
before finishing.

Awesome!

Ready, set, go!

Ah!

(all singing chicken dance song)

(singing chicken dance song
very slowly)

Three!

Whoa...

(all chanting):
Milo!

Milo!

Milo!

Milo!

I finally get to keep one
of the trophies I made!

Congratulations!

And now you can't say
you've never won anything.

Yeah, you won that one
fair and square.

And that was the hardest sport
you came up with.

That was really fun!

Want to do it again?

Sure, but I could go
for a lemonade break first.

Anybody up for a competitive
game of dog scratching?

Who will it be?

Who will be the champion?

Anybody?

TD, what are you
looking for?

It's the latest edition
of Sporty-Sport

and here it is!

MILO:
That's me!

(all exclaiming)

Sporty-Sport had a contest
for inventing a new sport

and I entered the five-athlon.

Seriously?

That is so cool!

Now you've won
two things, Milo.

You're on a roll!

Thanks, TD.

You're welcome.

So do you think
the five-athlon

will catch on?

Eh, nah.

Woohoo!
Go, go, go!

Come on!
You can do it!

Yeah!
Woo!

What are you two doing?

We're working
on our endurance.

Endurance is being able
to do something

for a really long time.

It takes a lot of endurance
to run a long race.

Or to ride your bike
up a really big hill.

So what kind of endurance
are you working on?

Our standing and
cheering endurance.

We're going to have
to do a lot of standing

and cheering during
the Wagstaff City marathon.

So we're training our legs.

Yeah!
Woohoo!

But the marathon isn't
for three months.

Three months?!

I don't know if I
can wait that long.

Sure you can.

We just have to work
on our waiting endurance.

(both sighing)

Come on, Martha.

I'm not sure I can endure
any more of this.

The square root
of equals ten!

Did you catch
all the words?

ALL:
Here they come again!

Your stamina is how long
you can do something

without getting tired.

STANLEY:
Being athletic means that
you're good at sporty things.

Dexterity is how well
you do stuff

with your hands and fingers.

ALL:
A penny, a nickel,
a quarter, a dime!

That's our show!

ALL:
See you next time!

(all cheering)

or check out your local library

for the Martha Speaks books.
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