05x15 - Tomato, You Say/Martha Questions

[bunniefuu]

MAN:
♪ Martha was an average dog ♪

♪ She went... and... and... ♪
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say ♪

♪ Now she speaks... ♪

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique... ♪

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates ♪

♪ Indicates and explicates ♪

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ Hyperventilates. ♪

♪ Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. ♪

HELEN:
Mom, we're going to the park
to play soccer with the guys.g?

MARTHA:
I'll make sure we're back
in time for dinner.

Don't you worry!

Uh... hang on.

I need to get a cap to keep
the sun out of my eyes.

Won't that be unfair?

I don't have a cap.

I don't think you want
to wear a cap.

Try it on.

Huh.

You know, that could
work out great

if you're the goalie
for the opposing team.

This must be why you never see
dogs play professional sports.

Well, no wonder
it didn't fit right.

This cap belongs
to a fish.

Why would I have a fish's cap?

Well, why else does
it have a fish on it?

Oh.

That's just an insignia.

I don't know if I've
ever tasted an insignia.

Do they swim in
lakes or the ocean?

An insignia is
not a kind of fish.

An insignia is a picture that
tells you about something.

Like the picture of a soccer
ball on my team jacket.

That's an insignia that tells
people I'm on the soccer team.

So that hat must tell people you
have fish on your head, right?

(laughing):
No.

This is the insignia of
Dad's favorite soccer team,

the Sporkville Puffers.

MARTHA:
So you're saying if
people like a sports team,

they wear the insignia for
that team on their clothes?

Right.

Okay.

Then who are
the Tomatoes?

Tomatoes?

I don't think there's a
team called the Tomatoes.

Then why does TD
always wear a shirt

with a picture
of a tomato on it?

You're right.

He does always wear
a shirt with a tomato on it.

But why a tomato?

You never asked?

I've meant to,
but before I can ask him,

TD always distracts me

by talking about
whether bulldozers

are better
than dinosaurs,

or whether dirt from Mars smells
like dirt or a light bulb, or...

Oh, no, you're not going
to spend another week

arguing with TD about
Martian smells, are you?

I want to play ball.

I need practice.

Whoa!

Told you I need practice.

(all grunting)

Have you ever
wondered why TD

always wears a shirt with
a tomato insignia on it?

TD wears a shirt
with a tomato on it?

What?

How could you
not notice?

That tomato is almost
as big as his head.

Well, now I'm curious.

I'm also sitting
on brambles.

There's no word for that
except yow!

Hey, Alice,

don't sit there.

That's a sticker bush.

I know.

If you know,
why did you sit in it?

I have a better
question.

Did you ever notice
TD's shirt?

The tomato shirt?
Sure.

Am I the only one
who never noticed?

OTHERS:
Yes.

Why a tomato,
though?

I don't know
why a tomato.

Was it something
he loved and lost?

Maybe it was
something he ate.

I have an even
better question.

Ooh, what?

Why are we
asking each other

instead of TD?

Wait!
What's our plan?

Are you going
to just ask him?

My mom says the best way
to learn anything

is to ask questions.

But it's TD.

What if he decides
to give us a weird answer?

Or what if it's
a delicate topic?

Tomatoes?

It's TD!

Maybe he won't want
to talk about it.

Would you wear
that shirt all the time

if you didn't want
to talk about tomatoes?

I don't know.

I'm not TD.

I can't think
like TD!

Is there any human
who can think like TD?

I don't know any animal who
can think like TD, either.

We may never
get the answer.

Nobody knows
what TD thinks.

TD does.

We could ask him.

(gasp)

Oh. Good plan.

Go.
(yells)

(yelling)

I'd ask you why
you all did that,

but I have something
more important on my mind.

Going to the park, Dad!

Oh, you surprised me
when I was about to knock.

That's all.

Nothing weird
going on here.

(whispering):
Ask him.

Helen, speak.

TD:
Here's what's on my mind:

if water is wet
and sand is dry,

what is butter?

I never thought
about it.

Butter is hard when
it's cold, but...

(whisper)
Doh!

He's distracting her already.

(clears her throat)

Let me get right
to the point, TD.

(whispering):
Delicately!

Uh...

Are tomatoes very
important to you?

I never thought about it,

but you know, there was
one particular tomato,

about a year or two back.

ALL:
Yes? Yes?

I call this "The Tale of
the Terrible Tomato Tragedy."

♪ Duh-duh-duh! ♪

I was helping Dad
plant vegetables.

Hand me a tomato
plant, please.

How do I know which ones
are the tomato plants?

Oh, they're the ones with
a tomato symbol on them.

A symbol?

Aren't symbols a thing on a drum
kit that when you hit them,

Mom says it's time to stop?

The word sounds
the same,

but the symbol
I'm talking about

is a picture that tells
you about something

because it looks like it.

Road signs have symbols on them.

A sign with curves tells
you the road will curve.

The symbol
on these labels

tells you
which plant it is.

These indicate they're
all tomato plants.

Right.
So please pass me
a tomato plant.

TD:
I didn't expect planting
to be so interesting.

Tomatoes start out small,

then they get big.

First they're green,

then they turn red.

Nature is weird and not just
because of giraffe necks.

After weeks and weeks,

Dad said the tomatoes
should be ready to eat,

and he was right, because
something was eating them!

It wasn't gophers because
there were no gopher mounds.

There were no squirrel tracks,

so I declared
the squirrel not guilty.

But I wasn't ready to rule out
flying squirrels.

The teeth marks seemed to
indicate the work of a shark.

Research proved the bite
too small for a shark.

And sharks live in oceans,
not our yard.

There was only one tomato left.

I put up symbols to indicate
that tomato biters

were not welcome.

And I stood guard
day and night.

Hmm?
(birds cawing)

(snoring)

( crashing)
Huh?

You!

It turned out my dad was
a sleepwalker.

And a sleep tomato-biter.

So the tomato-biter
was your own dad

and there you were
blaming poor, innocent sharks

and flying squirrels.

I guess that last
tomato must have become

an important
symbol to you.

No.

I forgot all about it
until you asked.

ALL:
Huh?!

There must have been
another event in your life

that included tomatoes.

You mean like
the ketchup contest?

ALL:
Yes! Yes!

Well, I don't
need to tell you

that ketchup is
my favorite food.

It is?

I did not know that.

When you look at me,

don't I remind you
of ketchup?

You remind us of ketchup?

What do you mean?

If something reminds you
of something else,

when you see it,
you remember the other thing.

Like when you see the
ball against the sky,

it could make you
think of the moon.

The ball reminds
you of a full moon.

I know what
remind means.

When I see a can
of alphabet soup,

I think of Martha.

The soup reminds me of Martha.

But you don't remind
me of ketchup.

I will after
you hear this.

Like most important,
exciting stuff,

it all started
with something I read.

Hmm?

(gasp)
Dad! Dad! Hurry!

Is something wrong, TD?

It says here the International
Society of Tomato Smashers

are having a contest.

Grand prize is a trip
to Collinsville, Illinois,

home of the world's
largest ketchup bottle!

(grunting)

Dad, I have wanted
to stand atop

the world's largest
ketchup bottle

ever since I first heard
of it five seconds ago.

Climbing a giant bottle is one
of those father-son memories

we'd always treasure.

Whoever gets
the most uses

out of one bottle
of ketchup wins.

(growls)

I had uses.

I worked as hard on that
contest as any Olympic athlete

if you don't count
the sweating.

The day came
when they announced the winners

on the Ketchup Channel.

TV ANNOUNCER:
Our finalists are TD Kennelly
of Wagstaff City,

and Mrs. Harriet B. Firemonster
of Tuscaloosa, Pennsylvania.

TD had uses
for a bottle of ketchup,

but Mrs. Firemonster had !

She is our grand prize winner!

She b*at me by one.

Her th was to use the bottle
as a water sprayer.

I had used it that way, but I
didn't include that in my entry.

So I won second prize.

A t-shirt.

No, a home
ketchupping kit,

which I haven't
been able to use

since I tried to make
bubble-gum ketchup.

If I don't just ask him,

we'll never find out
why he wears a shirt

with the image
of a tomato on it.

Does image mean picture?

An image of something
shows what it looks like.

When you see your
image in a mirror,

you see what
you look like.

TD:
You know,

there was one
other tomato thing.

ALL:
Yes? Yes?

During Thanksgiving,
we were at my aunt's house.

Me, Dad, Mom,
Aunt GG, Uncle J,

Cousin CC and their
neighbors the Louds.

Mom said,
"I like that famous painting

that's an image of
toe-MAY-toe soup."

It's not toe-MAY-toe.
It's toe-MAH-toe.

Even a child knows
it's TOO-mahtoe.

Eh-eh-eh.
TOO-maytoe.

I had this word
in the spelling bee.

Tuh-may-toe.

I went to seven years of college
and I know it's tuh-mah-toe!

You're all wrong!
It's tom-a-toe!

Toe-MAY-toe.

Toe-MAH-toe.

TOO-mahtoe.

TOO-maytoe.

Tuh-may-toe.

Tuh-MAH-toe!

Tom-a-toe! Tom-a-toe!
Tom-a-toe!

Is anyone else hungry?

Toe-MAH-toe.

Too-MAY-toe.

TOO-may-toe.

Tuh-MAH-toe!

Tom-a-toe! Tom-a-toe!
Tom-a-toe!

Really, does no one else but me
want to eat this turkey?

(all arguing)

TD:
I think they argued for an hour
just like that.

They called for a truce,
and then my dad said,

"Pass the Poe-Tah-Toes, please."

Poe-TAY-toes!

POO-tahtoes.

Eh-eh-eh.
POO-taytoes.

Puh-tay-toe.

Puh-tah-toe!

Pudda-toe! Pudda-toe!
Pudda-toe!

ALICE:
Did it ever end?

Are they
still arguing?

They argued till my aunt
moved out of the country.

So is that it?

You have no other tomato
experiences in your whole life?

No. Why do you ask?

Because you always wear a shirt
with an image of a tomato on it!

You mean this isn't an apple?

No! That's a tomato.

Toe-mah-toe.

Don't start.

It is a tomato!

That explains why my parents
gave me so many shirts

with this image on it.

ALL:
Why? Why?

Because it's
my initials.

The T in TD stands for "tomato"?

It does now.

Come on, let's go
to the park.

I'd like to know
what the D stands for,

but now I'm afraid to ask.

I told you he
wouldn't tell us

if we just asked.

Yup, that's just like
our friend Tomato.

There's nothing
(Skits barking) white.

Guess what
time it is?

Early o'clock?

Isn't it time
to feed the dogs?

(yawns)

Not yet.

Oh.

Is it time now?

(sighs)

Who needs an alarm clock when
you've got a talking dog?

RADIO ANNOUNCER:
Tired of dropped calls?

Hidden charges?

How would you
like to have a phone

that gives you unlimited calls?

MAN ON RADIO:
Unlimited, you say?

ANNOUNCER:
That's right, Dr. Pablum.

Ugh, those two.

I wonder what
they're up to now.

RADIO:
Weaselgraft & Pablum's
no-hidden-charges, no-re...

(radio shuts off)

Am I hungry?

I thought so.

You woke me up
to feed you.

Don't you remember?
Did I?

Don't I remember waking you up

or don't I remember
being hungry?

Both. I don't know.

Stop it.

Stop what?

Asking so many questions.

But what if I
can't stop?

Look, I'd love to stay and play
bajillion questions,

but I have school.

See you later!

What is wrong with me?

Why can't I stop
asking questions?

And why are you
looking at my food?

(woofs)

Something in the soup?

(Skits barking)

What is that?

Do we need to get
to the bottom of this?

(Pablum humming)

Ah, another perfect
question mark.

(chuckles)

Looks good enough to eat.

CARMEN:
Hey, new guy.

No nibbling
the noodles.

Oh, sorry.

It's an honest mistake.

But just
think about it.

Where would we be
if Sally over there

sampled her scrumptious S's?

What if George gobbled his G's
and I chewed my C's?

Why, before
you knew it,

we wouldn't have all
letters in every can.

And a question mark,
don't forget.

Twenty six letters
and a question mark.

Hmm. You know, it's strange.

We've always gotten
along with letters.

people and letters.

Why did Granny Flo decide
to hire another person?

Oh, well, er, uh,

maybe she decided
to add some punctuation.

Punctuation?

Sure. With letters
you can make words.

But with punctuation
you can make whole sentences.

Okay.

But why only question marks?

Why not periods?
Exclamation points?

It's the only thing
I could think of.

I mean, she could think of.

The owner. Granny Flo.

Thought of it.

Not me!

(cell phone rings)

Uh, telephone call.

Excuse me.

Hmm?

(beep)

Hello?

Pablum, I'm calling
to inquire

if you've found the...

the you-know-what.

Inquire?

Yes, inquire.

To inquire means
to ask a question.

Oh. Right, right.

For instance, if I were
inquiring about your health,

I might say:

"How are you feeling
today, Dr. Pablum?"

Oh, you know, so-so.

I mean, I'm not sick
or anything.

Still I may be getting a...

I'm not inquiring about
your health, Pablum!

Oh. So what are you
inquiring about, Otis?

(groans)
The key!

Did you get
the key yet?

Oh. Of course. Right.

The key. Sure, the key.

I don't have it.

(on phone):
Pablum!

You've been working
there for weeks!

What's taking so long?

Don't worry, Otis.

I'll have it by tonight.

You better.

I'm tired of pretending to work

at this miserable
string factory.

Ah! Help me!

Could the soup factory
have the answer

to what's going on
with the soup?

(gasps)

Hey, is that Dr. Pablum?

What could he be doing
at the soup factory?

Shall we find out?

Hold on, you can't
go in there.

Did we see
Dr. Pablum just now?

This is a soup factory,
not a hospital.

Run along and stop
asking questions.

But what if
it's important?

Is that
a question?

I thought I said
no questions.

Hmm... really?

Hey, cut that out
and get out of here!

Do you get the feeling
Dr. Pablum has something to do

with those weird things
in the soup?

(barking)

Hey, is that TD's dad?

Did he just go inside?

(woofs, whines)

Can you tell that I'm
saying you should follow me?

(woofs)

How do we get in?

(horn blows)

Was that the
break whistle?

(thud)

Ow?

So, Carmen...

I've been here
for a couple weeks,

but there's one thing
I still don't know.

What?

Who's in charge
of the can closet?

I am.

You know what?

I love C's.

C is pretty much
my favorite letter.

Mine too.

Of course,
some people like A's.

Not me. Too pointy.

No, just give me
a nice curvy C.

Speaking of curvy,
did you ever notice

how the top of
a question mark

is curvy like a C?

Maybe you could
give me some pointers.

Question
mark?

Sure. Don't
you remember?

I'm the guy that
makes the question marks.

Is that why I can't
stop asking questions?

Because I ate
question marks?

Well, I'd be happy
to give you some advice.

But first I have
to clean the can closet.

I could do it!

You give me the key
to the can closet,

and I'll clean it for you.

Genius!

What... key?

The key to the... wait, wha...

You mean it's not locked?

Why would we lock it?

They're just empty cans.

Who'd steal them?

Oh, right.

Who'd steal them?

Ridiculous.

(laughs wickedly)

The cans are mine.

What does Dr. Pablum
want with empty cans?

(woofs)

Should we stop him?

What are we waiting for?

Gotcha!

Uh-oh?

(grunts)

Did we lose him?

(OG sneezes)

(woofs)

OG?

Martha!

And... (sneezes)

Skits!
(barks)

Hey.

Did you see a pair of dogs?

Dogs?

When did we start allowing dogs
in the factory?

Ugh! We don't!

How can I thank you?

You could start
by telling me

why you're asking
so many questions.

What if I told you it was
something I ate?

OG:
Now let me get this straight.

You can only convey
information in questions, right?

Convey?

Doesn't convey mean
to move something?

Yes.

Convey means to move something
from one place to another.

When I talk, I'm sending what I
say from me to you.

It's conveyed from my mouth
to your ears.

And I can only
convey my thoughts

using questions because
I ate those question marks?

Seems like it.

But why is Pablum
making them?

That's the
suspicious part.

I looked at the
list of employees

and he doesn't
even work there.

Could it have something
to do with the cans?

Did I hear him asking
about the can closet?

I don't know, did you?

Wait, I forgot.

You can only ask questions.

This is confusing.

(barking sympathetically)

You're telling me
that you heard Dr. Pablum

asking about
the can closet?

(barks)
Mm-hmm.

What would he want with
a bunch of empty cans?

Something rotten?

Good guess.

We need to find out.

But first, let's check
out this soup.

Uh-huh!

Luckily I just happen
to have some new cans.

Got them with
my employee discount.

Aha!

Just as we suspected.

Question marks.

The soup is riddled
with them.

"Riddled," get it?

(chuckles)

Hmm?

(clears throat)
Sorry.

So what do we do?

Simple.

We just have to perform
a small operation.

(gulps)

An operation? On me?

No. On the soup.

I'll just clip the curvy parts
off of these question marks.

What does
that do?

It leaves a dot.

The dot by itself is a
different punctuation mark.

It's a period.

You use a period
to end a sentence

when it's not a question.

So if you eat them...

I can stop asking
questions?

We'll find out.

Dig in!

(sneezes)

I think it's time
for an allergy pill.

That should have
been enough time.

Try saying something, Martha.

Is there more soup?

Drat. Didn't work.

Oh, it worked.

I just want more soup.

(sighs with relief)

But that can wait.

Let's go stop that crook!

PABLUM:
Who is it?

Otis, nincompoop!

Otis Nincompoop?

I don't know any
Otis Nincompoop.

Pablum, it's me!

Open the door!

Otis!

(sighs)

This is the can
closet, Otis.

Good work.

Now where's the key?

Oh, it was
never locked.

Dr. Pablum...

are you telling me that
it took you two weeks

to figure out that
you don't need a key

to get into this closet?

Um... yes.

What took you so long?!

Ahh! Never mind.

Get the cans.

Look!

Pablum and Weaselgraft's van.

WEASELGRAFT (inside):
Be careful!

Quick! Hide!

MARTHA:
Cans!

But what do they want with
a bunch of empty soup cans?

And look-- string.

String?!

Oh, no.
You don't think...

What?

Hello, Martha?

Wait.

You're in there,
but you're over there.

This invention
boggles the mind.

It's a simple
tin-can telephone.

Telephone.

(gasps)

This must be
the no-recharging,

unlimited-calls phone
those two were advertising

on the radio.

The crooks!

What do we do?

I have an idea.

(laughing evilly)

The last batch!

(whispering):
Now!

(growling)

(grunts)

(yells)

MARTHA (into can telephone):
Drop those cans!

Put up your hands.

No funny business, you two.

You're surrounded.

We give up!

Job well done.

Now, who's hungry?

You have to ask?

No.

(laughing)

MARTHA:
Tin can phones.

I can't believe
anyone thought

that was a good plan.

(groans)

I can't believe we thought
this was a good plan.

But at least we made
a delightful commercial.

You know, when I inquired
about my phone call,

this wasn't what
I had in mind.

Punctuation!

or check out your local library

for the Martha Speaks books.