05x16 - Martha's Holiday Surprise/We're Powerless!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Martha Speaks". Aired: September 1, 2008 - November 18, 2014.*
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A family dog gains the power of speech after the letters in some alphabet soup wind up misrouted to her brain instead of her stomach in this whimsical animated series adapted from books by Susan Meddaugh.
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05x16 - Martha's Holiday Surprise/We're Powerless!

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Martha was an average dog. ♪

♪ She went... and... and... ♪
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say ♪

♪ Now she speaks... ♪

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique... ♪

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates ♪

♪ Indicates and explicates ♪

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ Hyperventilates. ♪

♪ Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. ♪

All right, Hot diggity day
snugglafter the holidays!

I can't wait
to get to Karl's!

His garbage is sure to be
a veritable cornucopia

of tasty trash.

Turkey! Ham!

Sweetmeats!

(confused bark)

Do I know what
sweetmeats are?

(barks)

Yeah, me neither.

Eat first, ask questions later,
I always say.

Oh, I can smell
Karl's garbage from...

(hissing)

(scared barking)

(hissing)

(panting)

That cat is almost
as bad as Nelson.

(hissing)

(barking)

I'm hungry too.

Hm...

Maybe if we flatter her?

I think cats like compliments.

(skeptical bark)

Yeah, you always
hear people saying,

"Who's a pretty kitty?"
and, you know...

Hi there,
you pretty kitty-kitty.

(growling)

Sorry if we
startled you, ma'am.

We're just on our way to...

(hissing)

No, no, no,
we are harmless.

We are just passing through.

Ow!

No, wait!

(scared barking)

(growling)

(barking)

I have no idea
what got into her.

More importantly,

I have no idea

how we're going to get
into Karl's garbage.

This is hopeless.

Or is it?

Oops.

(banging noise)

Sorry.

(hissing)

No, hey!

Let me go!

That cat has ruined
everything!

A holiday without a hambone

is like rolling in a yard
with no stinks.

What's the point?

If I ever see
that cat again,

I'm going to give her
a piece of my...

(screams)

(whimpering)

It's okay.

Just the TV.

REPORTER:
We interrupt this broadcast

for a special television
announcement.

What's that cat doing on the TV?

As a major snowstorm makes
its way toward Wagstaff City,

a beloved pet, Mittens the cat,
has gone missing.

Mittens?

That's an awfully nice name
for such a bundle of mean.

It seems a door was left ajar
and Mittens dashed out

after being startled
by this vacuum cleaner.

(shuddering)

Vacuum cleaners.

They do more harm than good.

(barks)

But worst of all,

it seems Mittens is
about to have kittens.

What?

So that's why she was
so territorial about the alley!

Will she have them in the snow?

Will the kittens survive?

(whimpering)

If Mittens isn't warm
and well-fed,

how will she nourish
her newborn kittens?

GIRL:
What does nourish mean?

I was about to ask
the same thing.

REPORTER:
I'm glad you asked.

So am I.

When you nourish someone,
it means you give them food.

I know how Mittens feels.

I could use some
nourishment myself.

If you have any information
about Mitten's whereabouts,

please call us at WAGG TV--

Wagstaff City's source
for local news.

C'mon, let's go home
so we can call the station.

(barking)

I know, I know!

The kittens, the kittens,
the kittens!

It's ringing...

I'd like to report a sighting
of Mittens.

She jumped out at me
and my friend

when we were on our way to raid
the garbage cans outside Karl's.

Have you ever eaten
at his garbage can?

He has the best trash,
bones and...

Oh, sorry.

Like I said, we saw Mittens
in the alley.

We wagged our tails,
we lowered our ears,

we even showed our bellies
so she'd know we were friendly.

But I think she has something
against dogs, because...

But I'm not crank calling!

I'm really a dog!
I really did see Mittens!

(dial tone)

He didn't believe me.

(frustrated whining)

Poor Mittens!

She'll be stuck out there
in the snow.

(whimpering)

Yeah, the kittens, too.

But what can we do about it?

REPORTER:
It's begun to snow,
but still no sign of Mittens.

There would be if your operator
hadn't hung up on me!

We can only hope that Mittens
and her kittens

are somewhere warm and secure,
away from all the snow.

(confused barking)

Secure means someone
is safe from danger,

like from the cold
or from being att*cked.

(whimpering)

Like we're probably
about to be.

Oh, Mittens!

Please don't hurt me...

Mittens!

(barking loudly)

I'll do the calling.

See if you can sniff out
Mittens' trail.

(barking)

(sniffing)

Oh, Mittens!

Come out, come out,
wherever you are!

(sniffing)

(surprised barking)

What?

A moving snowball?

(gasps)

Wait!

(meowing)

That's not a snowball!

That's one of Mittens' kittens!

(meowing)

They must be freezing.

(howling)

Now, calm down, Skits.

Howling won't help.

If only we had some way
to keep them warm...

(panting happily)

Well, yeah,
there's that.

But where is Mittens?

(barking)

Scared of us?

No, she's not scared of us.

She att*cked us, remember?

(confused barking)

When you att*ck someone,

it means you're trying
to hurt them.

Dogs att*ck by biting.

Cats att*ck by scratching.

There's no way Mittens would
leave her kittens in the cold.

Something must've
happened to her!

(shivering)

We need to get
these kittens inside.

Uh...

Okay, you keep the others warm
while I take Snowball home.

Hang on, Snowball!

REPORTER:
With a snowstorm
barreling our way,

there is still no sign
of Mittens.

We can only hope she has found
a warm place

where she can comfort
her kittens

in this terrible,
terrible storm.

What does comfort mean?

When you comfort someone,

it means you try
to make them feel better.

You might comfort them
by giving them a hug,

or by saying some comforting
words like,

"There, there,
it will be all right."

Now then, don't you
feel comforted?

Here you are!

Safe, secure
and toasty-warm.

(meowing)

Oh, okay, uh...

Oh, I bet you miss
your mommy, huh?

And your brothers
and sisters.

Oh!

(toys squeaking)

They may not be family,

but they're warm and fuzzy and
hopefully a little comforting.

Now you stay right there while
I run and get everybody else!

(meowing)

(whimpering)

Oh, Skits, don't cry!

We'll save all
the kittens.

(barking)

Oh yeah, I know.

Their claws are
really sharp.

Hang in there!

(meowing)

Look, Snowball,
I brought you some company!

Your brother... or sister.

Can't really tell.

But either way,

you guys can snuggle up
and comfort each other

while I go get
the rest of the g*ng.

(meowing)

(groaning)

Only two kittens left.

You take one
and I'll take the other one.

(barking)

Now everyone stay nice and warm
with Uncle Skits

while Auntie Martha goes
to find your Mama.

(barking)

I have to go.

Those kittens must be starving.

I know I am.

You and I can't feed them.

We need Mittens.

(whimpering)

REPORTER:
And here's another update
on Mittens, which is...

...we still have no clue
where Mittens is.

Don't cry, little girl!

We've found all the kittens,

and I promise
to find Mittens too!

Mittens! Mittens!

(sniffing)

(gasps)

A little nourishment would
probably give me more energy

to look for Mittens.

Whoa!

Oh, why fight it?

(chewing loudly)

I wonder where Mittens is?

(gulps)

(groaning)

I seem to be stuck.

(door closes)

We're home!

Mom wanted to do some shopping
and we got stuck in traffic.

Where's Martha?

(clapping)

Want your dinner?

What's the matter
with you?

(meowing)

(gasping)

Boing!

Skits had kittens!

(gasping)

(chewing loudly)

(grunting)

Ah, freedom!

(loud banging)

Uh-oh, I'm going
to get in trouble.

(frantic meowing)

Mittens?

Mittens!

We've been looking
all over for you.

What are you doing
in there?

(meowing)

You say you were looking
for a warm, secure place

to put your kittens
and you got locked inside?

Well, don't worry.

Skits and I took all
your babies to our house.

They're nice and warm.

C'mon, I'll take you
to them.

(meowing)

Oh, I see.

You can't jump that high
with your baby.

Karl!

(barking loudly)

Karl!

Aw, he must've closed up early
because of the snowstorm.

Maybe I can find something
out here we can use

to make a ladder for you.

Watch out!

Clear the deck!

Heads up!

Still too far to jump
with a baby.

(meowing)

Hey, I know what
we can use!

(grunting)

Hm...

See if you can climb that.

You made it!

Come on, I'll take you
to the rest of your babies!

Follow me!

(meowing)

I know you don't
really like dogs

and you're afraid I might
att*ck your babies...

But how about if I carry
your baby for you,

because I can go faster?

And I have an idea of how
you could go faster, too.

(panting)

Won't be long now!

Thank goodness.

How is this possible?

MARTHA:
I found Mittens!

Mittens?

The cat they were talking about
on the radio?

Uh-huh.

That's right.

Get in there and get some
nourishment, you guys.

They're so cute
when they all snuggle.

(laughing)

Hello? WAGG TV?

We found Mittens.

They're all safe and secure.

Huh?

Why would I be pretending
to be a dog?

(sighs)

I love happy endings.

Snow(shivering)

It's snowing again.

Dog shake!

Stand clear!

(yelps)

You done?

All shaken and ready
to be properly dried.

(shivering)

Por favor Helen,

would you please carry
your summer clothes upstairs

so I can store them
in the attic?

I've been asking you
since the fall.

I'll do it right away.

TD:
Helen!

Hey, let us in!

The guys are here!

Can I move the clothes later?

TRUMAN:
It's cold!

End our suffering!

Well, I don't want them
to suffer...

I would move the summer clothes
for you if I had hands.

You're a good dog, Martha.

I know!

And good dogs get treats.

Am I right or what?

(barking)

He says he's
a good dog, too.

Snow fell off a branch
into my shirt.

Nothing causes discomfort like
getting snow down your back.

Discomfort?

Is that like
extra-special comfort?

No, if you have discomfort,

it means something
is bothering you,

like cold snow
down your back.

We like snow on our backs,
right, Skits?

(barking)

A bath.

Now that causes discomfort.

High-pitched sounds?

Those definitely cause
discomfort.

Got it!

(sighs)

What a relief.

I'm comfortable again.

People have unusual ideas
about what causes discomfort.

We came to play
our game.

Let's play!

(cheering)

(game beeping)

Who wants to build
a snowman?

Who's with me?

No thanks, Dad.

We've got two levels to go.

(sighs)

There's fresh snow, but they
would rather play the game

they've been playing every day:

Space Animal.

It's not Space Animal.

It's Multi-Dimensional
Intergalactic

KleineNachtGopherAttack Four.

I don't know what
you just said.

I call it
That Loud Thing.

If you need me,

I'll be downstairs
building the new bookshelf.

Hey, how about I make some good,
old-fashioned, snowy-day

hot cocoa on the stove
for when you finish?

We won't finish today.

It took us a month
to get through one level.

Okay.

If you change your mind,
I'll be upstairs.

(saw buzzing)

Does a winter day get
any better than this?

(game beeping)

(sighs)

I'd much rather be
building a snowman.

(computer beeps)

Uh-oh.

(game beeping)

I just read a news report that
the storm's getting worse.

It's causing blackouts
in other towns.

What's a blackout?

A blackout is when
the electricity stops working.

In a blackout, anything that's
plugged in and uses electricity

doesn't work, like lights.

And the TV and the game?

Oh, no!

We're almost
through this level!

Don't worry, Martha.

We've never had
a blackout here.

Huh?

Is a blackout
something like this?

It's exactly like this.

The power to my table saw
went off.

It's a blackout.

Can we do anything
to fix it?

No, we just have to wait
for the power to come back on.

Huh?

It's not coming back on!

It's only been
seconds, TD.

Okay, TD.

Now.

It's not coming back on!

Maybe I should go home.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Hi.

Yes, our power is out, too.

Okay, I'll tell him.

Truman, your mother said
until the storm lets up,

she doesn't want to risk
the long walk home.

Hey!

What are you doing?

Waving to my mother.

Okay, I'll stay here!

Long walk home?

I think it's a longer walk
up to Helen's room

than it is to your house.

I'd like to see you walk up
those stairs in that much snow.

Bring in the snow
and I'll do it.

Helen, where's
your shovel?

Guys, snow stays fresher
outside.

Leave it there and we can build
a snowman with it.

That sounds cold.

Can I call home
and tell them I'll stay here

till the storm stops, too?

(sighs):
Sure.

(sighs):
Nothing to do.

No power.

Too cold to go out.

And your dad won't let us
bring snow in.

(sighs)

I've never heard
of a blackout before

and already it's my
second-to-least favorite thing.

Second to least?

Cats.

Oh, right.

Hey, I know.

We're ready to be nourished
and comforted

by hot snowy-day cocoa.

Sorry, I can't make it.

The stove is electric.

It won't turn on
while the power's out.

(sighing)

Well, that's disappointing.

Oh, you people are so helpless
without electricity.

You should act
more like dogs.

What do you plan to do
during the blackout?

I won't moan and complain.

I'll just sleep until dinner.

Dinner?

Martha, our can opener
is electric.

It is?

That's right.

During a blackout,
we can't open a can of soup.

But, but, but...

I have to eat!

I'll starve!

I'm starving now!

You don't know what it means
to be starving.

Uh-huh!

If you starve,
that means you don't eat

for a very long time
and are very hungry.

That is one full
dog belly.

You are not starving.

Am so!

Starve means to suffer
from hunger.

Look, I'm suffering!

Starving!

Oh, discomfort
and lack of nourishment.

Soup, where is thy sting?

What a performance!

This is why I always
wanted my own dog.

(groaning)

I think we're running
out of air, too.

No, we're not, Martha.

The air is not electric.

Oh, good.

Make me a sandwich?

You are not starving.

You had a biscuit
when the guys got here.

That's right.

It was the last one!

I'll feed you
when it's time to eat.

Not before.

Make me a sandwich?

Poof, you're a sandwich.

Never joke about food to a dog
with no can opener.

Que frío.

Am I the only one
feeling a chill?

(shivering)

I'm chilly, too.

If you're feeling a chill,
that means you're cold.

I'll start a fire.

If you want to feel
a real chill,

forget to tuck your tail in
when you sit on an icy sidewalk.

That's a chill.

Gather round.

A nice fire is the best way
to att*ck a chill.

We should do something.

Maybe we could open a can
with a ballpoint pen

and cook soup on the fire.

I meant something to keep
from feeling cold and bored.

Hot soup is the best thing
when you feel chilly.

I heard a doctor say that on TV.

Or now, was that a chef?

Why don't we finish playing

Multi-Dimensional Intergalactic
Kleine NachtGopherAttack Four?

What?

That Loud Thing.

Oh.

Where's the nourishment
in that?

How can we play a video game
in a blackout?

We recreate it
in reality.

We have people.

We have a whole house.

Let's put on a game!

That's a great idea!

Make me a sandwich?

I'm just a neighbor.

I'm not allowed to touch
the food here.

(groans)

The game has four levels--

underground,
above ground,

outer space
and the space station.

The basement will be level one,
the underground,

where gophers get
power veggies.

The gopher team that moves
the most power veggies

up to the space station wins.

Wait, veggies?

There's real food
in the game?

No, Martha.

We need something to be
our pretend veggies.

I've got it!

We'll pretend these
summer clothes are veggies.

Pretend.

Don't eat my socks.

You'll be the nasty farmer.

You att*ck on level two and try
to take your veggies back.

Stop you from taking
the summer clothes--

I mean, the power veggies--
upstairs where they belong...

I mean, to the
space station?

I'll be the farmer
if she won't!

I've always wanted
to be a farmer.

I think it's the cows.

Okay, then you'll be
the salad bar satellite

that att*cks on level three

and tries to swipe the veggies
in outer space.

I'll do my best.

And the most important part,

the difference between a regular
gopher and a nachtgopher:

headlights.

Ready, set, gopher go!

Yeah!

(panting)

Attacking vegetables
is harder than I thought.

Maybe I'm not cut out
to be a farmer.

We made it through level two!

On to level three!

We're in outer space!

There's our space
station, level four.

Ready, set, gopher go!

Salad Bar Sinister
is attacking!

Watch out!

Back to Earth
for more veggies!

Wow, this is exactly like
playing the video game!

Not exactly.

We're throwing shorts with
flashlights tied to our heads.

(laughing)

Team one, ten veggies.

Team two, nine veggies.

Nine? We had ten!

Martha...

Hm?

Sorry.

I didn't know this was
the game-winning sock.

Well, the real
winner is me

because Helen's summer clothes
are finally up there.

So this was a great game.

Mm...

Comfort, nourishment
and snuggles at last.

Did anyone but me notice
that video game turns out to be

just a fancy way
to play catch?

I think I like
the flashlight-on-my-head

laundry version better.

I promised hot cocoa,
and here it is.

How did you do that?

I fired up the barbecue
out back.

Then you can make steaks!

Martha, you're eating
a sandwich.

I know, but steak...

The blackout's turned out
to be fun,

but I'm ready for it
to be over.

(cheering)

The power's on!

We can finish the game!

We already
finished the game.

Yeah, but we can
finish it again the right way.

We have power!

I have a better idea.

Turn off all the lights,

strap flashlights to our heads
and play again!

You know, that was fun.

Who needs power?

Woo-hoo!

I'll go get the clothes down
from the attic!

No, Danny,
don't bring that down!

I'll find some other stuff
we can use as veggies.

Like real veggies!

ALL:
Ready, set, gopher go!

(cheering)

Truman, come on!

or check out your local library

for the Martha Speaks books.
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