03x10 - we gave it all up for hot dogs

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Ramy". Aired: April 19, 2019 –; present.
Ramy a first-generation Egyptian-American is on a spiritual journey who becomes caught between a Muslim community that thinks life is a moral test and a millennial generation that believes life has no consequences.
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03x10 - we gave it all up for hot dogs

Post by bunniefuu »

You good now?

W-What do you mean?

I think
that's enough of a visit.

We've made plans.
We have to go.

Uh, well... all right,
w-where are you going?

Do... could I...
Could I come with you?

- Okay, we don't have plans.
- I just... I think you should go.

Z-Zainab, please, I... I've
barely even gotten to see her.

I've already missed so much,

I wasn't even here
when you named her, you know?

H-h-how are you feeling
about it?

Like, a-are you sure
about Amina?

- Am I sure?
- Yeah, like, the name.

Is it... is it sticking?
Is she responding to it?

I don't know, maybe I have
a bad association with it

'cause I just have
this super-annoying aunt

named Amina,
so I keep thinking about her.

She's, like, one of those
people, you know,

that it always takes forever
to leave her house.

Like, she just keeps you
at the door.

It's, like, a two-hour goodbye.

Like, I remember one time,
we're over for dinner.

She waits until we're leaving
to tell us she has cancer.

Like, cancer
is dinner conversation.

Instead, we're outside in
the cold talking about cancer

that we find out later
isn't even real cancer.

It's, like, uh, one of those
95% remission cancers.

It's basically like a wart.

And I'm like, "You kept us
out in the cold

to talk about a wart?"

I... it's just not...

I don't know, I just keep
thinking about that.

And I'm looking at my daughter,

and I'm thinking, "Annoying,

lingerer, fake cancer."

And, uh, I don't know,
m-maybe there's something...

Maybe it's not too late
to kinda switch it up?

Amina was my mother's name.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's right.
That's right.

It is... I mean, look,
it's a beautiful name.

Like, in our tradition,
that's, you know...

And then there's your direct
lineage situation, and, uh...

I see it.

Do you know what it means?

- Yeah, of course.
- It's like, Amina, like, um...

like ameen, you know,
like Doleen.

Ameen... na.

Ameena, so...
Which is, uh, "amen" too,

so it's very interfaith.

Like, I feel like at school,
that's, uh...

That's good, uh...

Amina means trustworthy,

I'm gonna take her down
for a nap.

No, no, please, Zainab, look,

just... just give me a chance,
all right?

I wanna be involved.
I wanna... I wanna help.

I... I'm... I'm not
like I was before.

- I... I make a living now.
- Oh, we don't need your money.

I know what Maktoub is built on,

and I don't want it
near my daughter.

- How do you know?
- W-we... we haven't even talked.

You are a diamond district guy,

and you work
with Abu Bakar Miller.

Did I miss something?

Y-yeah, y-you're missing that

I've done what you've said,

I... I... I paid the man...

That was your Islamic duty.

It's also my Islamic right
to know my daughter,

t-to know that I even
have a daughter.

No, it isn't.

You... you basically as*ault me.

- What?
- I didn't consent

to having sex
with who you actually are.

You pretended to be
someone else, and that...

was emotional r*pe.

What? You can't throw
that word around.

Yeah, this was grounds for
an abortion, but you know what?

I decided to move forward alone.

So she has a nap schedule,

and I don't want you
disrupting her life either.

Um, but based
on what you've got,

I could see this place going
for 500, maybe even 550.

Yeah, but this one
is pretty much

the same size as our house,
and it sold for 715.

Right, it... it's just,
it's a little bit more modern

in its detailing,
and they have a pool.

We have a pool.

Well, yeah, y-you have
an above ground pool.

It actually kind of hurts
the value of the house.

You'd be better off
with no pool.

See, people, they would
rather imagine a pool

than see an above ground pool.


Yeah, crazy.


Would you be open to a stager,

someone to dress the place up,

make it a little bit
more sell able, you know,

get the right kind of art
and furniture in here?

What's wrong with our furniture?

Oh, no, no, uh, I just...

I don't want you
to be pigeonholed.

It's not your fault.
It's just, it's people,

they have no imagination.

You know, they come in here,
they feel the...

ethnic energy,

and, uh, they won't feel like
they can live here.

But, uh, we'd get
some more pastels,

some neutral pieces of art.

You know...

Oh, uh... what is this?

It's a passage from the Quran.

Oh, uh, uh, what's it mean?

It says, "God is merciful

and will forgive you
all your sins."

That... that is beautiful.

See, that's much better.

Just, do you see how much
more imaginative that wall got?

Yeah, look,
I know it's very hard.

It's hard to part with things.

You've grown attached to them.
I understand.

But it can also...

be very cleansing, you know?

Like Marie Kondo.

She really figured out how
to deal with immigrant clutter.

Try it.



Maria Kondo.

You know, before
working here for this event,

I used to buy and sell stuff
for my father in Israel,

and, uh, we'd buy, like,
you know,

scriptures for universities,

haggle with manuscript traders.

And one tafseer,
you know, talked about, uh,

your prophet, Muhammad,

and about God wanted
to communicate it to him.

He wanted Muslims to pray
50 times a day, okay?

- So then...
- Then the prophet meets Moses.

- Oh, so you know this one.
- Listen, Selim, so funny.

So then Moses says, "Come on,
I mean, negotiate, you know?"

"You know, God is full of mercy.

He will understand."

So, uh, then they go
back and forth, you know,

and then God goes down
to 40 prayers,

and Moses says, "No."
"Take it less."

Then God goes to 30 prayers.

Moses says,
"No, take it less."

- Then God...
- Yeah, they... they get to

five prayers a day.

And... and I'm really thankful
to... to Moses, you know?

He... he helped us out.

50 would have been a lot.

We used to help each other.

We used to help each other.

Did you... did you even
try to call?

Did you ask anyone
to help Khaled?

- Who?
- The Palestinian kid,

the one I told you about
who got arrested.

Ah, yeah.

there's not much I can do.

I mean, you know,
it's a political issue.

It's complicated.

- Um, y-you said that...
- That it would be easy,

that you knew people.

Listen, Ramy, we need to focus.

I'm here to offer you something.

As you know,
Yuval left the business,

so, uh, now I want you
to get more involved,

you know, to... to work closer
to us, to Selim.

Uh, yeah, um,
there's this younger clientele

Yuval used to handle,

we think you could help us with.

Yeah, I... I don't think
that I want to do that.

This is small...

But this watch is worth

more than your entire business.

I want you to go to see them,

It's a very important client
for us.

I thought you can handle them.


I'll send you the address.

Steve, watch out.
He's coming.

He's coming.
He's right here.

Steve, he's here.

He's here.

What's... what's going on?

Look, I'll handle this,
all right?

Look, Steve's getting engaged.

He's been pretty involved
in our marriages,

so we're helping him out.

As a businessman, you can get
as angry as you want.

But he's buying a ring
from Na seem.

Steve, you... you're buying
a ring from him?

C-come on, man.

We support small business.

I'm not a small business,
you know?

Uh, I'm a lean business.

Lean is better... less riffraff
like Walmart over here.

Look, let's not get our emotions

involved in this, okay?

We're just helping Steve haggle,

and we should involve you,
but you know what?

Your uncle gave us a price.

I'm gonna work you guys
against each other.

We're buying from Na seem.

What? You're gonna ruin
your market value!

I got him all worked up,
caught up in his feelings.

He'll probably go low.
Hell, he'll maybe go free.

He's not even free
of his demons.

I'm not buying...

from Ramy.

Good boy, huh?

Go lean.

I'll... I'll walk you
to the car, okay?

- You don't have to walk him.
- It's a button.

- Oh, wow, it's a*t*matic?
- Yeah, he does it himself.





Um, some kind of medical drug.

After he gave it to me.

We have to take him to rehab.

Farouk, he said it's a drug

that maybe would help me
stop smoking

and save my life.

I found vape.

Vaping that?

You're smoking hot plastic.

Apples... organic whole food.


Oh, oh...

Farouk, I know you did
the cold turkey.

It's not easy, okay?

I'm not like you.
I'm not a cold turkey.

Hold on with the socks.


Are we gonna talk
about the other night?

- Hey, look, I'm...
- I'm really sick of talking.

- I... I...
- Oh, great.

So I'm just gonna...
I'm just gonna act like

I forgot about it,

and we'll just do some role
play and fix your childhood.


No, I... I know Arab boys.

It's like, your moms babied you,

and I'm here
to discipline you to...

be able to have fun, huh?

Uh... no, uh, this...

This isn't fun.

Like, I'm... I don't... I'm not...

I don't like coming here, okay?

I just have this f*cking
buzzing in my head,

and when I f*ck, it goes away
for a little bit.

But I'm not, like...

It's never been...

Touching someone's not...

It's never been fun.

Like, I...

I used... I used to think
that I caused 9/!!.


Like, when I...

The first time
I ever jerked off, it was...

on 9/!!/2001.

And, uh, I was already
really guilty about doing it,

and then I saw the news,

and I thought that it happened
because of me,

like I was the t*rror1st
that nobody knew about.

And I just... I always thought
it'd be a matter of time

till they found out.

Like, I was... I just...

I thought I was
gonna be arrested.



You didn't cause 9/!!.

Thank you for saying that.

I don't actually think
we cause anything.

It's all written for us.

It's all planned.

So... so you think... you think
9/!! was planned?

Well, maybe.

But what I mean is,
everything is planned by God.


This is nothing like hashish.

Not even close.

Every year,

I have this hope that the kids
will swim in it again.

Not the kids now...

but the kids
when they were kids.

Like, my eyes want to see
their little hands

coming out from the water,
asking for a hot dog.

I can't believe we used
to feed the kids with hot dogs.

You know?

We didn't know
that they were pork.

My God.

Don't feel guilty.

It's not really pork.

It's a bunch of...

unidentified meat pieces.


You know,
halal is not really the...

Standard here, so...

it's okay.

We're in a different land.

We can seek halal
as much as we can,

but we have allowances.

We're allowed a hot dog
here and there.

We're in foreign territory,

their food is hot dog.

We're in America, Maysa.

We're visitors.

- We're visitors.
- Yeah.

We've been here
for 35 years, Farouk.

30 f*cking years.


It's been a long visit.

Boomer was, um...

She had these eyes like...
Like a human, you know.

N-not that I, you know,

needed her to look like a human
to love her.

Like, I think, you know,
dogs don't...

I didn't love her because
she... she looked like

a... a... a person, but I just...

It was just 'cause
she saw me, you know?

She really saw me.

She pro... she saw some things
I really wish she hadn't seen.

I think... I think she saw
too much, you know?

Like, sometimes
she'd be in my room,

but I... I didn't know
that she was there

'cause she was so quiet,
'cause she was so good.

But then it would be like...

Just... I loved her.


In the name of the Father,
Son, and Holy Spirit, amen.

Do you, uh...

Do you believe in fate?

Oh, you mean like
if she was meant to die?

I, um...

I just found out
I have a daughter.


You're the first person
I'm telling.



It's a really good use
of that word.

Are you Muslim?

Are you a Muslim man?

- Aziz. Aziz.
- I know, Aziz.

- Aziz.
- Aziz.


Yeah, I'm Muslim.


do you eat these hot dogs?

I do, yeah.

They're pretty good.

You don't care about halal?


It's okay, brother.

We'll take four, in shall ah.

Just, uh, choose them well.

I think they always
tasted like this.

We pretended to?

Why did we sell our souls?

We gave it all up for hot dogs.

I... I mean, this...

Does someone really
need something

this expensive
to f*cking tell the time?

You don't even understand
how much these f*cking assholes

spend on this stuff.

And... and... and Zainab's right.

Like, am... am I gonna spend
my whole life just...

selling them
and... and... and just...

I... I used to want something.

You wanted God.

And... and... and that's why
I wanted to be with Zainab.

We had that.

You know what?
The best sex I ever had

in my life was with Zainab.

She was good?

No, not... not exactly.

I mean, it was her first time,
so it was kind of awkward.

And I wasn't really that good
of a leader in bed.

Like, I don't... I didn't know
how to... do that.

But I was...

I was really in love with her.

I never had that before.

Like, I... I grew up so...

afraid of sex that I...

I... I... I never found
any love in it.

I... I was so afraid of God
that I... I never...

loved God.

You... you said that everything's
planned, but...

There has to be choice.

When I touched Amina's hand,
I had this feeling

like I never wanted to do
anything for myself again.

I wanted to do it all for her,

all for God.

Sorry, just had
to kiss you one last time.


I don't think I'm gonna
see you again.

I think you're gonna
make a choice.

Maybe fate's in your hands.

- Farouk?
- Eh?

I think I was trying
to k*ll myself.

- The cigarettes.
- Oh.

I needed to get out
of this body.

I needed to exit this body.

I was trying to k*ll, slowly,
every cell of this body.

I really need to reconnect
with the truth.

The truth...

We're not selling
this house, Farouk.

Ramy, we pay for everything
for him, okay,

and now he has to pay
for everything for us.

It's the circle of life.

Oui, mademoiselle.

He will pay, in shall ah.

In shall ah.


He's back.

- Oh, it's Dena.
- What the f*ck?

Did someone break in?

No, Dena, everything is okay.

Actually, everything is amazing.

Why are there
broken plates on the floor?

And... and who took
all this stuff off the walls?


Ya Allah.

It's so clear now.

I know.

You guys... okay?

We tried to remove God,

but Dena brought him back.

He's back.

We were behaving like...

We are not...

We were wrong, habibti.

- You were?
- Yes.

We taught you how to swim...

but never really let you swim.

We fed you too many hot dogs.

We should have...
fed you God.

I don't understand
what you're saying.

Is there something wrong
with your energy today?

Actually, I wanted

to talk to you guys
about something.

But yeah, maybe tonight's
not the right time.

No, no, no, no.

Tonight is the perfect night.


Hey, Selim.

No, I... I didn't see them.

Yeah, I'll... I'll take the watch.

I have... I, uh...

Yeah, I have. Yeah.
Look, hey, uh, I gotta...

I gotta... I gotta go.
Wait, uh... oh, yeah, okay.


Where the f*ck...
Where the f*ck...

Where's the f*cking watch?

It was in the f*cking...

Right with the f*cking thing.

I just had it in my hand.
It was my...

Did I f*cking drop it?
Where the f*ck is it?

So... we've been
seeing each other.

- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

We, um...

We want to get married.

You want to get married

to the person
I introduced you to?


These drugs...

they make everything
seem like a fantasy.

And I get it if you're angry

that I skipped the test,

but I'm still focused
on my career.

I'm gonna take the bar.

It's not just about
being with someone.

We're not... we're not just,
like, gonna have kids now.

I don't even know
if I ever want kids.

Like, obviously, we'll talk
about it, but, you know...

Just don't get involved,

A very realistic fantasy.

You've reached Yuval.

I can't come
to the phone right now

because I'm f*cking your mom.

Please try again soon.

Yuval. Yuval, dude?

You gotta f*cking call me, man.

See, this shit's f*cking...
It's not good.

I don't know where you are,
but it's not good,

and I need your help.

I gotta strategize some shit.

Selim and Ayala,
they gave me a custom.

It's the most expensive thing
I ever held in my life,

and I don't know where it is.

I literally cannot find it,
and I... and I...

I think it got stolen, man.
Okay, I think it got stolen.

I... I was with the hooker
at... at my dog's grave, right?

And... and we were...
We were f*cking chilling.

It was... it was sweet,
but... but she...

She knocked me off the bench.

And I think she f*cking
picked me, dude.

Like, she, like, tackled me.

But I... I thought it was
'cause she was horny

'cause we were so...
We were connecting, dude.

It was... it was crazy.
We were sitting there,

and we were talking about God.

And then we started
making out, and then we...

And then... and it was...

It was God.

It was God.

That's what...
That's what it was.

It was God.

Dude, we were...
'cause I told her.

I told her I don't know
how to get out.

And it... it was G...

It was God.

This whole day... this whole day.

I saw how Zainab looked at me,

and I... and I saw
how she looked at me

like I was so f*cking
full of shit.

And... and I had this thing,
and I didn't know.

I was like, I feel like
I have no f*cking choice.

I gotta keep selling this stuff.

But I didn't have to choose.

God chose.

God chose.
God literally f*cking...

I was... God... I had this thing,

and God's like,
"No, you don't have it.

Literally, you don't."

'Cause I don't know
where this woman... dude...

I don't... I called the spa.
I... I literally...

I called the spa
so many f*cking times.

I sent my boy.
He was right over there.

I said to him, "Dude,
go check out this spa."

No one's there.
I'm never...

I'm probably never gonna see
this woman again.

I mean, she's... dude,
I don't know her name.

She told me her name's Olivia.

She's Indian.

Her name is not Olivia.

It's actually not.

And I'm...

I'm never gonna know what it is.

It's maktoub.

Bro, I... it's maktoub.

We... I'm... we're not supposed
to have this money, man.


I'll call you back... I... f*ck.

We're not even supposed to...

We're just not
supposed to have it.

That's what it...
That's what it is.

And I don't f*cking
need them to help.

I don't need them
to help get it.

I don't need them
to help get it.

You know what?

This is some...
I don't even know.

We don't need... we're not
supposed to have this money.

I'm not supposed to have this.
That's what it is.

That's what it is.


That's what it is.

That's what it is.


Allahu Akbar!

Allahu Akbar!

Allahu Akbar.

Allahu Akbar.

Allahu Akbar.

Allahu Akbar.
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