04x11 - If You Don't Know Me by Now

[bunniefuu]

It's four A.M.

Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

Where are you going?

Bizzy's waiting for me downstairs.

She wants to go back to the
hospital before Susan wakes up.

You were just at the hospital
with them after midnight.

You've five surgeries today.
You need your sleep.

They canceled my surgeries, okay?
I'm gonna test on Susan

and Bizzy wants me to be there.

Baby, you're exhausted,
and she's taking over your life.

She says "jump,"
you say "how high?"

She's my mother, and her...

I don't even know
what to call her...

lesbian lover,
mistress lady friend...

she's got stage iv
ovarian cancer,

and Bizzy Forbes Montgomery

never asks anyone for anything,
and she asked me to do this.

She asked me
to save Susan's life,

so, yes, when she says "jump,"
I say "how high?"

31-year-old m.V.A. Victim.
Unconscious at the scene.

Wrapped his car around a pole.
Withdrawal to painful stimuli...

I.D. Says Corey Ramsey.
Environmental engineer.

I read about him
in last week's "times."

Engineers make the papers?
Yeah, if they have plans

to build the first
200-mile-per-gallon car.

On my count.
One, two, three.

Pupils sluggish,
slowly reactive.

Left is dilated.
Positive battle's sign.

He has a skull fracture.
Hang 50 grams of mannitol.

Prepare for intubation.

Tell radiology we have
an emergency scan on the way,

and get Dr. Shepherd. Dr.
Golding is the neurosurgeon on duty today.

His brain is about to burst
out of his skull.

Get me Dr. Shepherd.

I wrote a book.

I'm sorry?

What?

Uh, crazy Katie, you know,
cut my baby out of my belly,

and I was a mess, you know.

I was just... I-I was in therapy,
and I just started.

And I keep a journal
on the computer, and I was

writing everything down
because it made me feel less,

um, you know, less like
someone cut a baby out of me.

And, uh, so I just kept writing,
and then this one day,

I, uh, I printed it out
to see what it was.

And I was standing by
the printer, and I'm thinking,

well, this is just gonna be
a couple of pages,

but the printer kept printing
and printing and printing.

And then it turns out it wasn't
a couple of pages.

It was, uh, 837 pages.
And I have this friend

in New York
who works in publishing,

and I sent it to her,
you know, just to see.

And I didn't tell Pete.
I didn't tell anybody

'cause nothing
was gonna happen with it.

And, uh, well, my New York
friend called this morning,

and, uh, hyperion books,
uh, wants to buy my 837 pages.

Well, they actually want to
publish my 837 pages.

Not only that.

They want to put me on something
called the fast track,

and they want me in New York
in three days.

So my 837 pages
is going to be a book.

I w... I wrote a book.

You wrote a book.

I wrote a book.

Yeah.

She's holding Susan's hand.

Bizzy never held
the Captain's hand.

Yeah, I wouldn't think so.
She never held my hand.

Do I have to go in there?

Well, you can hide,

but she can smell a wasp
from a mile away.

She'll find you.
It's another one of her skills.

They look so happy,

and I have to go in there
and deliver bad news.

I mean, really bad news.

Get-your-affairs-in-order kind of bad news.

Crap. I gotta get
to the E.R.

You gotta go in there.
It sucks.

But standing in the hall is not
gonna make it any easier.

You need a hug?

Yes, please.

You should never
play poker, Addison.

I'm sorry, Susan.

What do you mean, you're sorry?

If we had caught this earlier,

then we might have
other options,

but the cancer's spread,

and, um...

There's nothing I can do.

So I'm gonna die.

We can make you comfortable,
but, uh, yes.

No.
I know that this is hard...

what it is is unacceptable.
Bizzy...

the cancer is too far advanced.
At best, I could give Susan

a couple of extra months,
but she'd be miserable...

you will save her life!
Do you hear me?

You will save her life.

The mannitol
slowed the swelling

in your husband's brain,

but his scans show bleeding with
several cerebral contusions,

and he has a hairline fracture
of the skull,

which means that... I'm a scientist.
I know what it means.

What now?

Well, he's stable.

But we have to monitor him prior to surgery.
You have to do surgery?

Well, I-in order to relieve
the intracranial pressure,

we need to remove the damaged
portions of his brain.

What will that do to him?

Long-term?
And don't dance for me.

He should live comfortably,

but his mental capacity
will be affected.

How affected?
I can't make any positive...

does anyone understand
what I'm asking?

There's a range.

We should expect some loss
of executive decision making.

His capacity for abstract
thought will be affected.

And he may have some difficulty
planning everyday tasks.

But his motor skills
will probably be unaffected.

From where
Corey is now mentally,

he should lead
a perfectly normal life.

We met at Stanford...

The stacks.

He proposed
three semesters later,

right there.

It wasn't as romantic
as it sounds.

He just looked up
from his computer and asked,

and I said yes,

and then
we went back to reading.

He's a genius.

He wants to leave a legacy.

And he has the ability
to do it.

What happens without surgery?

Is there a chance he'll go
back to being himself?

There is a remote chance that
everything could heal itself,

but more likely,
the edema will progress.

I'm going to sound like a snob

or some elitist.

And I can already feel you
judging me.

But I know Corey.

He would not want to live

as anything less
than what he is,

a brilliant, brilliant mind.

You don't have to
understand it or respect it.

But you are not...

No one is cutting out
a piece of Corey's brain.

I want to have sex.

I'm flattered.

Truly.

Since the, uh...
What happened to Charlotte,

we haven't.

Loss of intimacy is a fairly...

Standard reaction
after a sexual as*ault.

I don't want to push her.
I don't want to...

I mean, this isn't even for me.

I mean, it is a little. I mean,
Charlotte is a sexy person.

Right?
Oh, I know.

Yeah, okay. And sex for her
has always been...

I think it's made her
feel powerful, in a good way,

and I just want her to feel...

I don't want her to think I
don't see her that way anymore,

but I also don't want her to
think that's all I see either.

Sex is a strong component
of any healthy relationship.

What if she's ready, but she
doesn't know how to initiate?

What if she thinks
I don't want her anymore?

Or what if she just doesn't...
Want to again, ever?

Well, h...
have you talked about it?

No.
Have you been talking at all?

Well...
No, not really.

I never know what to say,

and when I do say something, it feels
like the wrong thing. Uh...

I hate to tell you, you need
to walk before you run,

but, uh, uh, I mean, if you're not even...
Crawling yet?

Exactly.

She needs to be comfortable,
Cooper. So do you.

So just, uh...

Ease back into it.

Dr. Rodriguez,
thank you for coming.

No problem.
What do you have for me?

Tell me what you see.

There are lesions
on both ovaries.

Evidence
of lymphatic involvement.

And there is an irregularity on the liver edge.
Is there anything that we can do

that would make
a meaningful difference?

Well... at first glance,
I would say no.

I-is she...

oh, it's my mother's,
uh, friend...

Very close friend.
It's her lover.

There has to be something
that we can do.

My mother's not a person
who takes no for an answer.

I can do some research, consult
with my colleagues. Thank you.

Yeah.
Thanks.

I have to admit,
when you called,

I was hoping you were
finally gonna say yes

to dinner with me.

Uh, no.

It was the scans
that I wanted you for...

to see.

That's interesting.

What?
What are you thinking?

Corey's wife is wrong
to withhold treatment.

This is not a death sentence.

His life will be different, yeah, but at least...
but that is not for us to determine, is it?

Look, I'm not saying that I'd
be ready to off myself,

but if something happened
and I couldn't cut anymore,

I-I don't know what I would do.
So Corey's not gonna change the world on an epic scale.

He'll still be able to walk,
be able to hold his grandkids.

Life isn't all about
achievements and work. For you.

You paged me?
Yeah, I need your help.

I've already been briefed.

The wife's within her rights
to deny medical care.

So if you go digging
in Mr. Ramsey's brain

because you think
she's making the wrong choice,

you are opening us up
to a wrongful life suit.

Excuse me. I-I'm looking for Corey Ramsey.
And you are?

I'm Janel Chase.
I'm his girlfriend.

Go away.

What page are you on?

Oh, go away, Violet.
I beg of you, please.

Is it bad?
It's bad, isn't it?

It's uninteresting,
flowery, self-indulgent...

Go away!

Rodriguez thinks
I should scope Susan.

Wait. I thought you both agreed that there was
nothing to do. Well, looking at the scans,

he wasn't sure
of the liver involvement.

So I'd like to get in there
and see if it's possible

that surgery will help... that's
just desperation talking.

You know
what the answer's gonna be.

This is exactly why doctors
should never operate on family.

It's a bad idea.
You didn't object when I operated on Maya.

That was an emergency.
This is Bizzy.

Hi.
Hey.

So you and I...

We're not, um...
We're not having sex.

And I get that.

I'm not even sure if you really
want me to touch you at all,

which is fine.
I understand that.

I do wish that we could
at least talk about it.

Or just talk at all.

But maybe talking...

maybe we're not there yet.

But we're gonna
have to get there,

to a talking place.

Anyway, you have to eat,
and so do I.

So I canceled a couple
of patients today.

I drove out to glendale
where they have

what is supposed to be
the greatest fried chicken

in Southern California.

And fried chicken
is your favorite.

Yeah. I don't know.

This sounded better in my head,

but I thought maybe
we could just sit here

and not talk

and... eat fried chicken

and wait for the talking place
to come.

You want to eat
fried chicken with me?

I want to eat
fried chicken with you.

I think we should try it...

Having sex.

Tonight.

You okay?

We met four years ago.

He didn't tell me
he was married right away.

I didn't even know
what he did for a living

until I saw him on tv.

I just knew he was a big...

A big sweet kid.

I love him.
And Patricia?

She doesn't know
anything about me. Oh.

Um, I know I shouldn't be here,
but...

Is he gonna be okay?

I'm sorry. We can't give you
that information.

You're not Corey's wife.

We're running out of time.
He needs surgery.

So w-what are you
waiting for?

Patricia wants to manage
the swelling with dr*gs

in hopes that Corey
will heal naturally

and regain
his full brain function.

And will he?
He should have the operation.

And then he'll be fine?

His mental capacity
will be diminished.

He's not gonna be the Corey
that you know, a genius. He...

that's not the Corey I know.

W... and if the dr*gs
don't work?

He'll die.

I don't get why Patricia
would want that.

She says that she's
respecting his wishes.

As his doctors, we can't... no,
Corey would not want to die.

I know that.

His work, that's just stress.
He... please.

You can't let her k*ll him.

It's good.
It's brilliant.

Yeah. Brilliant.
Brilliant is the word.

The way you discuss
the att*ck, I cried.

It's compelling, emotional.
Yeah.

I think it's gonna help a lot of people.
It's a beautiful memoir.

Yay.

I'm gonna...
I'm gonna show Pete.

Pete is going to love it.

I gotta do friend duty.

Addison's mother?

Yeah, yeah. I don't know
who's gonna die first...

Susan from the cancer or Addison
from trying to save her.

Hey, Violet, nice work.

When you're on Oprah,

and she's telling the world
how brilliant your book is,

try to find a way to work
my name into the conversation.

You know, I'd like to hear
Oprah say my name.

I don't think
I've ever seen you scared.

I'm not scared.

A little.
I'm a little scared.

It's an impossible situation,
Addie.

Everybody can recognize that.
Everyone except Bizzy, of course.

Well, she's a smart woman.
She's an irrational woman.

Then don't do it. Stand up
to her. You're an adult.

It's not like your relationship
can get any worse. You're right.

So you gonna talk to her?

God, no. No.

Well?

Well...
It's beautifully written.

You're a writer.

But?

This is your life.

Right.
It's your private life.

Yeah.

And it's gonna become
really public

if you publish this.

Right. Well,
that's kind of the idea.

I mean, the writing
was therapeutic,

but... but there's
a-a comfort in...

in, uh, telling my story

and... and an opportunity
to help other people.

Don't you think?
Yeah, no, I-I get that,

and it's noble.

But you realize that

once it's out there,
you can't take it back.

Why would I want to?

Because anybody with a computer

or a library card

will know really...

Intimate things about you.

A-and some of those people
will be your patients.

It's also the story
of Lucas' birth.

Look at... listen, I'm...
I'm not against it.

If you're okay with putting
it all out there,

then I support you.

It's just...

Are you?

Are you okay with it?

Okay?

Yeah.

That's fine.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

There's a 5-centimeter mass
on the left.

7-centimeter lesion
on the right.

You'll need a biopsy sample
for cell type and grading.

What are you doing here?
Moral support.

What makes you think I need it?
Do you?

So how's it look? There's enlargement
of the para-aortic nodes.

They appear to be infiltrated with tumor.
Will you be able to remove them without leaving tumor behind?

They're immediately adjacent
to the arteries,

so I don't know.

Is... is that the liver edge?

That's not good.

The cancer has spread beyond

what we initially saw
on the C.T. scans.

It's attached itself
to the major vessels.

It's in her liver.

So what do we do?

Honestly? Nothing.

That's not an answer, Addison.

I'm sorry. I am.

I could try to cobble together
a series of... of treatments,

but it would
make Susan miserable...

The truth is,

even if she suffered through
all of it, she'd have less than

a 1 out of 5 chance of living another few years.
Some people do better,

but some people do much worse.

Do you understand what
she's saying? No.

No, what?
No, I don't accept your numbers

and I won't accept your conclusions.
They're not my numbers, Bizzy.

I don't want 25%.
I don't want 50%.

I want a cure,
plain and simple.

I don't care what it costs.

Do you understand that?
I'm sorry. We can't offer you that.

I expected more from... what exactly
did you expect from me, Bizzy?

For my daughter to be something
more than a passive spectator

to the death of someone I love.

Y...
don't.

I'm gonna talk to you.

But don't you dare
try and hug me again.

Okay.

Cooper wants to have sex.

I want to have sex.

I think. I'm not sure.

Maybe I want to have sex.

I-I love sex.
I'm good at sex.

And what...

What that man did to me...

Wasn't sex.

So...

This shouldn't be a problem.

I am...

Good at sex.

So how come I'm crying
when Cooper touches me?

Charlotte...
You were r*ped.

I know that.

But it wasn't Cooper
who r*ped me.

It's not forever...

The way you're feeling now.

It's not.

And sooner than you think,
you're gonna feel strong again.

Not guilty, not vulnerable...

But strong.

Sex for me and Coop,
it's like, uh...

It's how we communicate.

I hate using the phrase
"making love," but...

It's what it is.

It's how we love.

And I want that back.

Do you?

What's that supposed to mean?

Look, y-you don't want
a hug,

and I promise you, I am...
I'm not gonna hug you.

But I-I am gonna tell you
what you and I both know.

Love and intimacy
and pleasure...

No one can take those things
away from you.

No one...

No matter
what they've done to you.

Nothing can come between
you and Cooper except you.

Bizzy, what you're doing
to Addison is wrong.

It's unfair,
and I'm not gonna...

I ask very little
of my children.

But what I'm asking
of Addison...

It's not lost on me.

It doesn't look like

there's anything left
to be done.

I'm sorry.

I really am.

But you...

You can't keep pushing Addison.

For whatever is left
of your relationship with her,

Bizzy, please...

Don't do this.

Susan means...

Everything to me,

and she's...

And I have to believe

that there is
some way to help her.

That's why I came here,

because Addison is the best
at what she does, the very best.

Well, have you ever
told her that?

I'm her mother.
That's not my job.

I-I know
I shouldn't be in here,

but... I saw
that Patricia had stepped out.

Stay.

How is he?

His intracranial pressure
is holding for now.

He doesn't have to die.

I respect that
it's her decision to make,

but Corey says they barely
even talk anymore.

I'm sorry.
I wish...

My hands are tied.

Five minutes, okay?
Then you have to go.

Who are you?

I'm begging you.
You can't do this to him.

You can't let him die.
Why is sh... who are you?

Janel, maybe it's best that you go.
I love him, too. Let him live.

Let him decide if he wants to live.
Get out.

What's happening? His I.C.P.
Is going through the roof.

I'm gonna increase his mannitol.
Nurse, I need

a ventriculostomy kit, asap.
Okay, hold on to him.

Patricia, if I don't insert
a tube into his head

to relieve the pressure, he's gonna die...

Right here, right now.

I need you to tell me
this is okay.

What the hell's going on
in here?

Did you authorize this?
Authorize? He's dying.

Patricia... you can't just do
this without her permission.

She can sue if she wants.
I'm saving his life.

You okay?

For a passive spectator.
Oh, Addison...

I can't win here.

If I don't do something,
Bizzy will hate me.

And if I do and get anything
less than some miracle result,

then she's still gonna hate me.

I don't think so. I think
she just wants you to try.

She believes in you.
Yeah, well, she has a funny way of showing it.

No, no, she... she came here
because she knew

the only thing that could help
Susan would be a miracle.

And she believes
that if anyone's

gonna give her a miracle, you can.
Why are you suddenly on her side?

Because she was crying.

What?

Yeah.

B...

Bizzy does not cry.

Is there a part of you
that doesn't want to try

because...
You hate your mother

for not being a mother?
What? What... no, that's not...

why would you even
say something like that?

Because you are
Addison Forbes Montgomery...

World-class surgeon.

And I have never, ever

seen you back away
from a fight.

Our biggest problem
is that the cancer

has metastasized
to areas of your body

that are either too dangerous
for me to cut

or too difficult
for me to reach.

But, um...
I did some research,

and I found a new protocol.
I...

I was trained on this machine.
It's called the Da Vinci.

You're gonna let a machine
operate on me?

No, no, no. I would
operate on you,

but I would be doing it
using the machine.

It enables me to cut in ways

that I would never
be able to do freehand.

Have you ever done this before?

It's generally not used
on cases like yours yet,

but I know its capabilities,

and I think it's
the best way to help you.

If it weren't for your mother,

I don't think I ever
would've come here.

But I love her.

She's my best friend.

I want to do it...

For her.

Hey, Bizzy.

So you have a plan now.

So is there gonna be... there's
gonna be, like, a book tour?

Like 12 cities, 10 days,
readings, autographs?

Oh, if they do, can I...
can I be a roadie?

What
would you do? Nanny.

Oh. You want to go on
the road with mommy?

Aren't you so proud of her?

Oh, my God.
One day, he's gonna know how to read.

Oh, no, no. Don't go there.
No, he's gonna know all the most intimate details

of his mother's life.
Mm.

And my parents and you...

It's a book, Violet.
It's not a sex tape.

But still... no buts.
You coulda taken those pages

and stuffed 'em in a drawer
somewhere, but you didn't.

You sent 'em off to see
if anybody would care,

and they will.
People will care.

They will be helped
by what you wrote.

Are you sure? No, not at all.
You haven't let me read it.

No, I mean, you know...

I'm kidding.

I'm sure it's honest
and real and it's you.

You did a good thing.

Oh, you could kiss me
right now, couldn't you?

Do you need a kiss?
Oh, I need more than a kiss.

I know.

I'm sorry
it's so difficult, Coop.

I need you.

You had your chance.

I'm going to use
the Da Vinci surgical system

on Susan tomorrow.

I applaud your ambition,
but your judgment is...

it's possible. Anything is possible.
The question is,

are you gonna be selling Susan
and your mother false hope?

Well, if I were doing it
on my own, probably,

but that's where you come in.

I need you to infuse
heated chemo

directly into her abdomen
after I cut.

It'll destroy any disease
left behind.

Don't play hard to get.
You are.

I'll see you tomorrow?

Ahh.

Good night.

Good night.

You okay?

I am.

You sure?

What?

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I'm fine, Cooper.

What is it?

I just...
I want it to be right.

It's not my first time.

It's your first time since...

hey. It's not like that.

I just... I can't.

I'm sorry.

The tube I inserted
bought us time,

but we're talking hours,
not days, to save Corey's life.

I am not
going to change my mind

simply because some woman
claims to know my husband

as well as I do.

Don't you want to give him
a chance to decide

if this is a life that he wants to live?
I want him to recover fully.

You told me there was a chance.
That chance is gone.

Every second we waste out here
is costing Corey.

No.

Absolutely not.

You don't know Corey.

You don't know him
like I know him.

Nobody knows him like I do.

And I don't care
what that woman thinks

because she has no idea
the hours I put in...

The things I do
to make him feel comfortable

so he can be himself,

so he can think,

so he can be brilliant.

That's my life.

That's our life.

And a life without that
isn't a life we want to live.

I know what Corey wants.

He'd want to see
his child born.

You...

Did he know?

Tell me he didn't know.

I told him
the night of the accident.

He was on his way to see you.

He loved you.

He did. He said
you drove him to be great.

I wanted children.

Corey saw them

as an impediment
to his success.

Corey and I...

Didn't even sleep
in the same bed.

Um... this, um...

This decision isn't mine.

It's hers.

It's... it's both of ours.

So what do we do?
We save him.

Do you need something?

When you got r*ped,

how long before
you wanted to screw again?

Wow.

Uh, well, you could read
all about it in my book

if I was publishing my book.

I don't want to have
a heart-to-heart

or hear about your problems.
I just want an answer.

Okay. Um...

Well, I guess...

For me, it was a long time...

Because I had to learn
how to trust men again.

But I was single, you know?

I mean, if I had already

had a man in my life
that I trusted,

I don't know.

I do know that the fact

that you're asking yourself
this question

probably means
you're more ready

than you think you are.

Just take it slow.

Okay.

Thank you.

I never said that.

And I'm mean to you
a lot of the time

'cause you're all touchy-feely,
and that's annoying,

but... you told me
about your r*pe.

And that...

Helped me.

It helped me.

Thank you.

We got it... all of it.

And we were able to insert
the port in her abdomen

to deliver the local chemo.
I mean, we still have to monitor her,

but it looks very promising.

I should be with Susan.

Mrs. Ramsey.

The cerebral edema
is improving,

and Corey's pupils
are reactive.

We had to remove

a larger portion of the brain
than we expected.

Is he...
He's responding.

That's all we know.

It's gonna be
a... a long road back.

Can I see...

Can we see him,
the... the two of us?

Of course.

She just walked away.

Well...

Her husband's not in there.

Hey. How'd it go?

She kicked ass.
That's great.

But Bizzy didn't say thank you.

Oh, come on.
We are all family here.

I'm sorry.
That... that sucks.

Shame on me for expecting more.

No, shame on you for turning

what should be a celebration
into this.

You know what?
You're right.

Bizzy's just Bizzy.

Look, I have an amazing mother.

All right? I have
a kick-ass mom.

I have the best mom
in the world.

Ahh. Yay, you. But I have a dead
father, and a drug addiction problem,

and I'm kind of a whore.

Nai is a great mom, and she
has a 15 year old with a baby.

Is there a point to all this?
Yes.

You have a cold,
withholding mother.

And you're the most competent,
together person I know.

I-I wanna be you
when I grow up.

So, you know,
maybe you got dealt

the better hand
in the long run.

So just shut up
and stop whining.

She's a little bit wise.

It's annoying.

If you want something
from Bizzy,

you're gonna
have to ask for it.

It's the only way you're ever
gonna get it. Okay?

Pass the wine.

So, um...

I'm going to New York.

You are?

I am.

I am a therapist, and it's...
it's not just what I do.

It's who I am.
It's my life's work.

I want to tell my story.
I want...

if I help one person...

then I think
you should go to New York.

What?

Just... Lucas' mom
is amazing.

That's all.

Yum-yum.

You want to try again.

We don't have to.

No, no, I do. I do.

I just, uh...

I want to. I just...

Ow.
You okay?

Mm-hmm.
Sorry.

What... what should I...

No.
Sorry.

Okay. There you go.

This is so not sexy.

Right?

Don't go anywhere.

Coop?

What are you up to?

Coming back right now.

Chicken?

Addison.

Bizzy...

I have something
that I need to say to you.

Before you do, I've been
meaning to tell you...

I've divorced your father,

and I'm marrying Susan.