04x13 - Blind Love

[bunniefuu]

Previously
on "private practice"...

cooper,
charlotte was r*ped.

It's number 2.

The d.A. Won't
prosecute lee mchenry.

You'll do it againlee.
You'll r*pe another woman.

You don't know me.

that man cannot go free.

I will get a g*n,
make it look like a mugging.

I'm sorry, susan.
The cancer has spread,

And there's nothing I can do.

You will save her life!

Addison.
I'm marrying susan.

I know the cancer's come back.
I signed a d.N.R.,

And you can't tell bizzy.

She's crashing.
I need a c.B.C., chem panel,

And a blood culture times 3.

And hang 2 liters
of saline, wide-open.

What's happening?

Set up a central line
and start a dopamine drip.

Addiso
tell me what is happening.

Can't get a blood pressure.
She's in shock.

Probably septic.

Okay, line's in.

Titrate the dopamine
to a pressure of 90.

Addison?

It's gonna take a minute for
the medicine to take effect.

85.

90.

95.
Okay, pressure's coming up.

Go ahead and hang
the first dose of antibiotics.

Is sh-- is she-- is susan
gonna be all right?

She's gonna be all right.

Whew.

Oh, hey, amelia.
Have you got a minute?

No. I have not heard
from addison about susan,

And I'm late
for the dorkfest that is

The neurology department
monthly breakfast roundtable.

And I'm late
that sounds horrible.That is

It is. It's boring
and self-congratulatory.

Can you give me a reason,
any reason, for a no-show?

Lizzie hagan. Army vet,
just back from afghanistan.

I.E.D. expl*si*n--
lost her right eye,

Decreased vision in her left
because of shrapnel

Lodged in her brain.
Tough choice.

Help a wounded soldier
see again

Or endure
a bunch of lame old men

Joking about my frontal lobes.

Eric and I, we had just
found out that morning

That I was pregnant.

We didn't even have time
to celebrate

Before they put us
in the convoy.

He didn't want me to go,

But I couldn't say no.

Anyway, eric and I, we were--
we were sitting together

And we were whispering
back and forth

About a spring wedding.

And, um...

And then we hit the I.E.D.

And everything
went really bright

And then really dark.

And I was
thrown out of our humvee.

And I tried to get up
and look for eric,

But I couldn't see.

Ke your time, lizzie.

I didn't have time to process
what had happened to me

Until I got to the hospital

And I realized
that I could barely see

Any of the doctors
who were talking.

How's the vision
in your left eye?

I can see shapes and forms,
but it's pretty blurry.

Is there...
Anything you can do?

Well,
let me take some scans.

Depending on how the shrapnel
is compressing your optic nerve,

I may be able to remove it.

Losing eric and my injuries,

It's just
all been really hard.

But since natasha was born
two months ago,

I- I have to be hopeful,
for her sake and for mine.

We're all each other has.

Lizzie, is natasha
still latching on?

I think so. Yeah. Why?

She's turning blue.

What's wrong?
Here. She's not breathing.

Amelia, bag.

What-- what's going on?
What's happening to her?

Dr. Wilder is trying
to resuscitate your baby.

Oh, god.
Is she gonna be okay?

You-- you have to save her.
Natasha?

All right.
What do we have?

White male, 30s, stabbed in the chest.
Stable?

He's lost a lot of blood,
and there's a Kn*fe.

So he was hitting you?

He's... I didn't mean to,
but he wouldn't stop!

And I saw the Kn*fe,
and I just grabbed it,

And...
let's-- let's go.

Blood pressure, pulse?
130 over 90. Pulse is 120.

Okay, I'm gonna need
a portable ultrasound.

Am I gonna make it, doc?

We're gonna do the best we can.
What's your name, sir?

lee...

mchenry.

I was just checking on susan
and I heard.

What happened?

He was using his girlfriend
as a punching bag.

She decided to defend
herself using this.

Is he gonna make it?

I don't know.

The blade cut all the way
through the lung tissue.

It's lodged near the heart,
acting like a stopper,

Preventing him from bleeding out.

What happens if you take it out?

Well, right now he'll die.

We have to wait until
his blood is clotting better

Before we can operate.
When will that be?

I don't know. If he's lucky
it'll be before

The pressure builds too
much and his heart ruptures.

Someone should
give his girlfriend

A medal for doing this.

Does charlotte know
that he's here?

Uh, clearly, lizzie's eyesight
is worse than she's telling us.

It was an accident.

An accident? If we
hadn't been there--

What happened?
One of pete's patient's

Smothered her baby
while breast-feeding.

Is the baby okay?

For now.
Amelia, she--

Well, now it does happen.
New moms fall asleep

Or-- or hold the baby too tightly.
This mom's blind.

Partially blind.
With the proper instruction,

It won't happen again.
You don't know that.

There's a million mplications
that blind parents face

That seeing parents just don't.

But blind parents raise
children all the time

With help.

Single mom, no family around.

Can she afford a nanny?

Not on disability.

She is the mother of that child.
She has a right to raise her.

As along as the child
is protected.

If she can't do that, then--
then we need to help her.

Bizzy, you should
go back to the hotel,

Get some rest.

No, not while susan's here.

The chemotherapy has
suppressed her immune system,

And she had trouble fighng off
the infection, but now--

She's fine. She just
needs sleep, and you do, too.

Go.

Call me if she wakes.

she loves her...
Very much.

Yeah, she does.

I was just coming to see you.
Janet, uh, pete wilder,

The doctor who referred
lizzie to me.

Hello.
Hi. You know lizzie?

Eric, my son,
was her boyfriend.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you.

I didn't realize eric
had family nearby.

Actually, I live in san diego,

But when dr. Shepherd called
this morning,

I drove straight up.

I'm here to take home
my son's baby.

Sam?

Is he...

How bad is it?

He's got a Kn*fe in his chest.

He's not stable enough
for me to operate,

So I can't remove it yet.

Charlotte, there's nothing
for you to do here.

If he dies,
would anyone be surprised?

Look, I know what it's like
to want somebody dead,

Someone who deserves it,

But to actually allow
for that to happen...

Who would care?

Sam, if I--

code blue, bay three.
Code blue, bay three.

That's lee. He's crashing.

What do you want me to do,
charlotte?

His sats are dropping.

All right.
Give me an intubation tray.

Can you...
Can you take it out?

I have to open up your chest,
which means putting you

On a bypass machine.

That's gonna thin your blo,
and right now,

With the damage to your lung,

You'd bleed out
and die on the table.

Now I'm gonna put
a tube down your throat

To suction all the blood out
so you don't drown.

But the Kn*fe--
it's bad either way.

please don't let me die.

You're friends with her.

Yeah.
She's--

I don't want to hear anything
you have to say about her.

Sedate him.

I didn't find out
about the pregnancy

Until after I buried eric.

The army sent me his things,
and I, uh...

I found a, uh,
a half-written letter.

So I called lizzie.

She had just gotten out
of the hospital.

She was seven months pregnant
and scared, and I--

I told her
to come see our doctors,

Have the baby in san diego.
You wanted to help.

Of course.
Maybe I pushed too hard.

First she stopped returning
my calls,

Then she moved apartments
without telling us.

We didn't even know
she had given birth

Until a week after
it happened.

Look, I have nothing
against lizzie,

But natasha
is my granddaughter,

And I have
a responsibility to her,

Which is...

The baby
should come back with me.

And what happens to lizzie?

She can staye and get
the medical help she needs.

We'll bring her down
for visits, on-- on holidays.

So you want her
to give up her baby?

Do you think she'll have a choice?
Dr. Shepherd can operate

And help lizzie regain
the vision in her good eye.

Maybe. I mean, even if
her scans look good,

There's no guarantee
it'll be successful.

But I know
lizzie wants to try.

Then you'll try.

But if you can't give
lizzie back her eyesight,

Natasha is coming home
with me.

Have you heard
from addison?

Yeah. Susan's stabilized,

And she's responding
to antibiotics, so...

Oh, good. Bizzy must be relieved.

I got lizzie's scans back.
You want to take a look?

No, no, no, no.
Let me pick you up.

Okay. Okay, well, I'm--
I'm-- I'm here. I'll be here.

Um...

Lee mchenry

Is in the I.C.U.
With Kn*fe in his chest.

Oh, cooper.
What? Are you kidding?

Yeah, and sam wants
to try to save him.

Well, that's his job.

If violet had been att*cked, I
wouldn't want sam being a hero.

He's supposed to let him die?
How is charlotte?

She can barely talk about it.
I...

I can't believe
this nightmare is not over.

Hey.

You're looking better.

Now I just need
to get outta here.

All of the tubes
and the dr*gs--

And no offense,
the doctors...

I'm just so tired of it all.

And poor bizzy.

Oh, she'll be fine.

She's nothing
if not resilient.

In her way, she's...

Amazing.

It was a nice wedding,
wasn't it?

Mm-hmm.

oh, my...
Chest.

I need a blood gas and
a bolus of heparin. Go.

Hurts... To breathe.

Susan, you may have thrown
a clot in your lung.

You said before
that you didn't--

No.

No heroics. Please.

Bizzy.

I'll get her.

Bizzy.

Hey.

You okay?

It's never gonna be over,
is it?

It could be.

If I tell sam to k*ll...

Lee...

That's on me, forever.

If I tell sam
to save lee...

He'll always be out there.
Charlotte, wait.

Either way, coop,
I lose.

Hang a t.P.A. And increase
the oxygen to 100 %.

Susan.

You said I could go.
You said she'd be all right.

Susan has

A large blood clot
in her lung,

And we're treating it
as aggressively as we can,

But she-- well, do
whatever you have to.

I want more, much more.

no pulse.

Dr. Montgomery,
should I call the code team?

No.

Why aren't you
doing anything?

Susan signed a d.N.R.
She didn't want me to tell you.

I don't care. Save her.
I'm sorry. I can't.

You can.

Susan was clear.

Addison! Do something!

Oh!

Come on. Come on.
Bizzy.

Help her!
Bizzy.

You can't just stand
there and watch her die!

Bizzy. Bizzy.

You can't...
Bizzy.

Addie, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry for bizzy.
I'm sorry for you.

what did she want me to do?
Susan had a d.N.R.

Listen to me. You
did the right thing.

You did what susan wanted.
Bizzy's never gonna forgive me.

Oh, e will. She just--
she just needs time.

You'll see.

She lost the one person
that she loves.

And I-I lost my mother.

♪ I'm always beneath you ♪

I'll catch up
with you later, okay?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

hey.

If sam doesn't get him
into the o.R. Soon,

He's gonna die.

Is that what you want?

Sam would do that for me.

I know he would.

Okay, but... Is that
what you want,

To have sam
let this man die?

my first impulse was...

I wanted that bastard moved
to an exam room.

I could put
a towel under the door,

Grab a scalpel...

And some hydrogen peroxide.

I wanted him to feel pain...

And fear.

And now?

I don't know.

Charlotte,
I have to do something

That I don't normally do.

I can't be objective here
because it's you

And because I was
a part of this.

And, uh, I'm just gonna
tell you what I think,

And that is that...

You make
life-and-death decisions

For patients every day,
and I see you do it.

You're logical and brilliant
and dispassionate,

And... If I ever had
an emergency,

I would want you
to be my doctor.

If you saw him on the street,

And he tried
to att*ck you again,

I believe you could k*ll him.

But when he comes into
your hospital needing help,

That's different.

He took a lot from you,
charlotte.

But you can't let him take
what makes you you.

the shrapnel is...

It's there.

It's amazing.
I'm walking and talking

With a piece of metal
in my head.

Can you get to it safely?

I can get to it, but it
might be better to leave it.

Why?

The shrapnel is wedged

Right up against the bottom
of your optic nerve.

The scar tissue has healed
around it.

It's not gonna be easy
to get out, and if I cut

Or damage the nerve
while I'm in there trying,

You could lose whatever
eyesight you still have left.

It could also cause a bleed
in your brain

That would
be difficult to st.

I want the surgery.

Lizzie...

I talked to eric's mom,
janet, and she--

You what?
Sh-she wants to be involved.

She wants to help
with you and natasha.

She wants to take natasha.
She always has.

Lizzie,
will you excuse us

For just one minute?

Whose side are you on?

The side that says we do
what is best for our patient.

Which is why
you shouldn't have called janet

To take away lizzie's
baby. Just do the surgery.

It is dangerous, and
there's a better solution.

Lizzie losing natasha?

She can't see, pete.
She has no money.

Her entire life is gonna be
an uphill battle,

Which means that natasha's
will be, too.

Look, if janet wants to help--
janet is not the patient.

Do the surgery.

where is he?

Don't do this. Don't--

How's it feel,
you piece of crap, huh...

To have someone att*ck you?!
Cooper, walk away.

You know who I am?!
I am her fiancé!

I need 30 seconds alone
in a room with you!

Walk away. Walk away.

Let me go! Y-you don't wanna--
you don't wanna-- I'll do it.

I'll do it.

You want to go in there?
Fine. Go in there. Go.

k*ll him.

Why are you helping him?

Why is he ill alive?

I don't want charlotte
toall apart again

Right when
she's getting better.

What's going on?

Nothing.

did you come here to--

Oh, butt out, sheldon.
Come on, cooper.

No. You're not part of this.
No, I am very much a part of this.

I had lee in an interview room
and didn't put it together

That he was the one
who hurt charlotte.

I'm the reason that charlotte's
I.D. After the second lineup

Got tossed out. All I did do
is let that animal choke me.

And do you know what, cooper?
You know what's most important?

I consider charlotte a friend,
and I failed her.

I failed my friend. So don't
tell me that I'm not involved.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You've waited this long.

Just let him die. Please.

I thought the nurses
were... Confused

When they said
you were in here.

This is what one does
after a death, isn't it--

Turn to god,
look for solace?

I'm so, so sorry. I...

If there's anything I can do,

If you want to come stay with me--
you've done enough.

If I could've helped susan--
you could have.

That's not what she wanted.
The d.N.R.--

Enough. It's done.

You know
that I would do anything...

For you, don't...

I'm trying, you know?
I'm--

Is this making you
feel better, addison?

Do you really not understand,

Or do you just need to blame
someone for what hpened?

What difference
does it make, dear?

charlotte.

Cooper's looking for you.

I know.

He knocks her around
and god knows what else,

Yet there she sits,

Keeping a vigil.

When I was a little girl,

I used to go to church
every Sunday with my daddy.

I'd sit on his lap
and daydream through most of it,

But... What got my attention
week in and week out

Was the pastor's sermon.

Now he'd bang on
about this or that,

But it always came back
to one thing...

Good...

And evil...

How the righteous
need to see evil

And resist it
with everything that they have.

It scared me,

But there was something...

Comforting about it,

About how black-and-white
it seemed.

Yeah.

But you get older,
and you realize...

It's not black-and-white
at all...

Picking out what's right
from what's wrong...

Deciding where to draw
that line.

I understand, charlotte,

I do,

You wanting to see him dead
for-- for what he did to you.

But... I think you need
to ask yourself,

If the only way
that can happen

Is you having a hand in it,

Is that gonna bring you peace
or... More torment?

How am I
supposed to know that?

Well, maybe you can't,
but, uh...

I just...

You know that man
who k*lled dell

And almost k*lled maya
and olivia?

I just had this instinct

That the only way
that I was gonna be able

To let go of all the anger
I felt...

Was to forgive him.

So...

The bleeding in mr. Mchenry's
lungs is under control,

And his respiratory function
is back to normal.

If he's gonna have any chance,
I can't wait much longer

Before removing the knif

Do it.

Are you sure?

Do whatever you have to
to save him.

You're gonna feel
some pressure.

It feels weird.

This is the worst part.

I know you don't think
I'll be a good mother.

Raising a baby...

It's hard when you can see.

But trying to do it
when you can't, alone...

There are plenty of people
out there who can see,

And they're still
terrible parents.

They ignore their kids.
They mistreat them.

I've had a lot of challenges

In my life already,
dr. Shepherd.

Mostly ones I didn't want.

T now, having natasha,

She is more important to me
than anything.

And I promise you,
I will make it work.

Whatever it takes,
I will make it work.

I'm not crazy.

No one said you were.

And everything you're feeling
is justified--

The anger d the frustration--
but you can't act on it.

That's the difference
between you and lee--

.The capacity to
control your emotions

.It's easy to say
that in the abstract

But to see that man and know
what he did to charlotte...

You're wrong.
I know what you're thinking.

I know it feels right,
but you're wrong.

Sam.

Please.
Charlotte asked me to save him.

And I'm asking you not to.

He'll do it again.
The d.A. Won't prosecute him.

Cooper--

I'm not saying don't go in there.

I'm saying you don't
have to let him come out.

Do you think that
it makes me happy

To have to go in there
and try to save that guy?

Do you? We took an oath.

Screw the oath. He r*ped
charlotte. He r*ped her.

And he deserves so much worse
than anything you or I

Could ever do.

If we cross that line--
if there was ever a time, it's now.

Then what, cooper?
Where does it stop?

Look, I-I know that you
can rationalize this

Just like I ha, addison,
pete, the entire practice.

But at the end of the day,

All the rationalization doesn't
make what we're doing right.

It's wrong.

To let a man die,
no matter how bad he is,

It's wrong.

You're right, sam. This...

This is what we do.

How's bizzy holding up?

No way to tell.

And you?

I am...

I am not...

Holding up.

You did...
The right thing, addison.

Then why doesn't it
feel that way?

Well, I haven't known
your mother very long,

But she seems like
a hard woman to please.

Impossible.

Then why do you keep trying?

Because she's my mother.

And I guess...

Somewhere deep down,

There's that instinct
to please...

The idea that...

You'll get something back.

I can't let that go.

is that crazy?

No.

That's love.

Okay, let's go.

Wait.

I just wanted to make sure,
if you don't make it,

The last image you have

Was of me.

Hi.

Sorry. I'm...

My name's nancy.

I know who you are.

Look, I-I don't want
to bother you, but...

Is he gonna be okay?

I don't know.

But this doctor
working on him, is he good?

He's the best.

Is this...

Is this where it happened?

You know
what he did to me?

Lee told me.

This is where it happened.

I'm sorry.

What exactly
are you sorry for,

That your boyfriend
r*ped me...

That you're too weak
to leave him...

That the male role model
in your son's life

Is a violent predator?

What?

I'm sorry.

I am.

But I love him.

do you know
how horrible it is

To love someone like this?

No.

With me...

With our boy...

Lee can be gentle and sweet
when he wants to be.

That doesn't make it okay.

You can kid yourself, nancy.

But you and lee,

It's gonna end badly.

So the way I see it,
you got two choices.

You could try to put him
in the ground again,

Which is what he deserves.

But given what that would mean
for you and your boy...

You have to run.

Take your boy and run.

will we know right away?

As soon as the bandages
come off.

Take your time.

Just open your eyes, slowly.

What do you see?

Gray...

Walls.

And yellow curtains.

I-- the room.
I see everything.

Your turquoise scrub cap.

Congratulations.

And thank you.

You're a miracle worker,
dr. Shepherd.

I'm happy for you, lizzie,

And natasha.

Excuse me.

Janet, wait.
Oh.

Janet, wait.

I'm sorry.

You-- you must think
I'm a terrible person,

Crying because lizzie got
her eyesight back.

No, I don't think that.

it wasn't
supposed to be like this.

Eric was
supposed to come home.

Then he would fall in love,
and I'd gain a daughter...

And... We'd dance
at the-- at the wedding,

And... Then there'd be
grand--

There'd be grandchildren,

And I'd be there for them.

It wasn't supposed to be
like this.

She's devastated.

Imagine how upset
she would be

If she knew
that you lied to her.

My turquoise scrub cap?
Really?

When the bandage came off,

Her pupil did not react
to the bright lights.

The surgery didn't work,
pete.

I mean,
she's totally blind now.

You coached her to fool janet.
She can't fool me.

I'm sorry. I... I really was
hoping the surgery would work.

But if it didn't,

The only way to keep
lizzie and natasha together

Was to convince janet
she could see again.

And you think
that makes it okay?

Where is the freakin' line
with you people?

Seriously, pete.

I won't lie for her.

Yodn't either.

Xhales)

Wh-why am I--

Your girlfriend
called the police.

Told 'em you admitted
to raping me.

Are you--
gonna hurt you?

If I wanted you dead,
you'd be gone by now.

Building you up in my head
as some big bad monster.

The truth is,
you're nothing.

Nothing...

But a sad,
pathic little man

Who has to b*at
and r*pe women

To make himself feel big.

You got no power over me.

I am not afraid of you.

But I do pity you.

I don't need your pity.

Yes, you do.

And I forgive you.

♪ so long ♪

♪ so long ♪

♪ it's been nice knowing you ♪

♪ 'cause you're gone, gone ♪

Here, bizzy, let me take that.

Here. Let me take...

♪ off to the edge of the moon ♪

I know you're angry

And in pain,
but you're not alone.

Oh, for heaven sakes, addison.
Stop talking.

I am alone. I'm completely
and utterly alone.

My life began
when I met susan.

Do you understand that?

She meant everything to me.

And now what?
Where do I go?

What do I do? Date?

If I could bear
the thought of it,

I wouldn't know how.

I'm...

I don't know what I am.

Look, this is new

And... Scary,

But it's not forever.

Then what is?

What do you see

For the rest of my life
without susan?

I don't know.

But I am here
to help you figure that out.

Let me help you,
because in spite of everything,

Even though you can't say it,
you've never said it,

I love you,

And I am here.

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

Thank you.

♪ oh ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

All right.
I'm gonna spend the night.

And I'm gonna help
you get packed.

Oh, no, dear. I'll be fine.

No, I want to stay.

I-- I'll take care
of this tomorrow.

I'm exhausted, and
I'm sure you are, too.

No, I'll be okay.

Go home.
Go home to sam.

He's a nice guy.

Stick with him.

You can come by tomorrow
and help.

Are you sure?

We'll order breakfast.

But I beg of you,
bring some decent coffee.

All right.

♪

Okay.

So I'll see you, uh,
tomorrow.

♪ oh ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

I don't mean to interrupt,

But I-I need to drive
back down to san diego tonight,

And I--
you want to say good-bye
to natasha.

Please.

Lizzie, may I?

Mm-hmm.

hello.

oh, my goodness.

You look
just like your daddy did

When he was your age.

Don't you?

Yes, you do.

Take good care of her.

Janet, wait.

There's something
I need to tell you.

No, dr. Wilder.
Please.

The operation
wasn't a success.

But I saw her...

What do you mean?

I didn't get any better.

But I can do this.
I can.

You lied to me?
I did.

Oh, I'm sure it was her idea.
I did it for natasha.

Why do you always treat me
like I'm your enemy?

You want to take my baby.

You know what? We'll
let a court settlehis.

Okay, enough.
Both of you, just stop.

You both loved that man.

I didn't know eric,
but I'm a father,

And I can't imagine
what he would feel,

Knowing that you're fighting
over this baby.

I miss eric every day.
I do, too.

You both loved eric
the way you both love natasha.

It's time for you to start
putting her interests

Ahead of your own.

Right now, this little girl
needs you both.

I c-could, um...
I could stay.

Just-- just until
you get comfortable.

I don't know.

I would only stay
as long as you wanted me to.

♪ they won't hold ♪

Maybe.

Maybe we should try.

Hey.

Been looking all over
for you.

♪ I'd have done anything ♪

You all right?

I am.

♪ to be there ♪

Now my office is just...
My office.

That's all.

♪ to be there ♪

For the first time,

I feel like everything's
gonna be all right.

Bizzy?

I decided I am sleeping over.

And I brought
the good coffee.

"dear addison..."

bizzy, what have you done?

"the necklace is for you.

"the money is for housekeeping.

"apologize to them
for the inconvenience.

"and when people ask,

Tell them I d*ed in my sleep."

"the truth is..."

no, mommy.

"too embarrassing."

No.