04x18 - The Hardest Part

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ohhh ohhh ohhh ♪

♪ I gave passes
to the boarder ♪

I'm not a morning person.

I beg to differ.

♪ ...guiding light ♪

♪ "I see smoke
upon the water" ♪

♪ said the sailor
to the daughter ♪

I shouldn't be this happy.

Why?

Well, what you wrote
about Violet--

was accurate

and right now,
beside the point.

I can think of better things
to do than talk about her,

but if you can't--
oh, no, no, no.
Let's--let's start over.

Good morning.

It's about to be.

♪ My sneak up from behind
is gonna blow your mind ♪

♪ but if not,
this time we're through ♪

Hey, you on call today?

Yeah. I got paged
on an incoming arrhythmia.

How's Addison doing?

Well, she's fine, I guess.

In Seattle,
delivering a baby.

Is everything okay?

She, uh,
she wants her own baby.

And I'm not ready,
but, uh...
76-year-old female,
acute shortness of...

Adam,
what are you doing here?

She's gotten worse.
Didn't know what else to do.
Bradycardic at 40
with a pressure of 90.

- Please, Pete.
- Respiratory rate?

24 and labored.
Put her in bay one.
Is that--

my mother.

Well, under the circumstances,
your anger is justifiable.

Under the circumstances,
homicide is justifiable.

Oh, if I have to hear "she's
my b.F.F." One more time...

Wait. I'm sorry. Do--

have you ever done one of those
city college lecture things?

Because you look
really familiar.
No. No, that wasn't me.

So let's--let's, uh,
let's stay on point here.

I-I think the important thing

is to understand why your
daughters made this decision

and to figure out
how we can move forward.

I've racked my brain,
and I just don't know.

Lisa and I have always been
so close. What did I do wrong?

Well, this isn't necessarily
about you.

I'm a single mother
with three kids, Dr. Wallace.

When something goes wrong,
it's always about me.

Maybe the girls were
trying to redefine their lives

in a way that is
more meaningful to them.

Maybe compensating for low
self-esteem or looking for

what they perceive
as unconditional love.

Oh, give me a break. What does
Casey have to be upset about?

And that's what we need
to explore.

Which is also why we need
to speak to your daughters.

We're not pathetic,
knocked-up teenagers.

We made a choice.
It's a pact.

Explain that to us.

Why did you decide
to get pregnant... together?
Why should I worry

about good grades
and getting into college

when all I want
is to be a mom anyway?

Plus, instant status.

Babies love you no matter what.
That's awesome.

Are you not feeling loved
at home now, Lisa?
Well, yeah.

My mom's a trooper.
It's just...

There's a lot going on
around the house,

so she can't give each one
of us attention, you know?
I felt loved

until my mother tried
to make me have an abortion.

What you might think
is a lack of love

could be your mother
trying to protect you.

She's trying to protect herself.
She doesn't care about me.

That's why
we need each other.

She has a.V. Dissociation.

Pete, is she--
atropine.

.6.
I can't breathe.

She's in third-degree
heart block.
What does that mean?

I need to float a temporary
pacemaker, stabilize her rhythm.
What the hell is going on?

If you want to stay, you're
gonna have to stop talking.
I can handle this.

Where's the damn catheter?
All right,
heart rate's dropping.

Pete, please, look at me.
Do something.

Get out! If you want her
to live, get the hell out!

So the Belarus competition,

I won--
first American ever.

What? That's amazing.
What did you play?
Rachmaninoff's third.

Really? That's like
the hardest concerto there is.

Not like,
it is the hardest.

The technical aspects
are impossible

for most musicians to master.

Child or adult.
You must be very proud
of your grandson.

No one plays it as well
as Patrick.

Every bit of his hard work
and discipline shows.

Is the numbness constant
or does it come and go?

It comes and goes.

Grab my fingers
and squeeze...

Hard as you can.

Okay. Now hands out,
palms up.

Close your eyes.

Is something wrong?
Well, I think it would be
worth getting an m.R.I.,

and our neurosurgeon
should take a look.

Do you know how many
conversations we've had

about protection?
I bought her condoms.

I put her
on birth control pills.

I suppose I should've just
taped her damn legs shut,

but I didn't--
like that would've worked.

O-okay, okay, let's calm down.
Easy for you to say. You're not
the one who's going to be

contending with three kids
and a grandchild.
We're the ones
who will sacrifice.

Jamie, what are you thinking?

She's probably glad her mom's
not here to yell at her.

My mom said she had to
pick up my brother

and drop him off at home.
She said she'd be back.
Can I just say something?

We've been here all morning.
If we're here all afternoon,

we're gonna miss a lot more
than school.
I don't care if we're here
all day every day

for the rest of the year.
We have to sort this out.

You wrote this book.

I knew I recognized you.

I bought this last week
and I'm halfway through it,

but... she's not the right
therapist for our daughters.

You guys, she has this totally
nasty scar down her stomach.

Can we try to focus?
Ah, no laying out
for you, eh?

There are things in this book
that I promise you

you will not like.
Like what?

I don't want to embarrass her,
but--
this is not the place
for this discussion.

Could we see
the scar?
Jamie, let's go.
We're done with this.

Patrick's parents d*ed
in a car accident when he was 5,

and Dennis has raised him
on his own ever since.

He was apparently a renowned
conductor until his son d*ed.

Then he took Patrick in,
taught him the piano,

and now this kid's a prodigy.

Mm. Classical music
puts me to sleep.

Are you really
that uncultured?

This coming from the guy
who rushes home

to watch outtakes
of "American bake-off"?

Okay.

Damn it.

What? What is it?

It's called
a pilocytic astrocytoma.

It's in the part of the brain
that controls hand function.

Am I gonna die?
You'll have to have surgery.

You'll have to
cut into his brain?

It's the best course
of action.

The safest and simplest route

would be right through
the center of the motor strip.

But if we go through that area,
the likelihood

is that we would destroy
all function in his right hand.

I... I won't be able
to play music anymore?

No.

Are there
any other options?

I can do
an awake craniotomy.

Awake?
During brain surgery?

Because you'd be conscious
and able to talk to me,

I could monitor your hand
function much more closely

and try to avoid damaging
any of the corresponding nerves.

Would it hurt?
There are no pain sensors
on the brain.

Your scalp would be numb,
so you would hear the drill,

you would feel pressure
from the vibration,

but it wouldn't hurt,
however, because I would be

taking a longer
and more indirect route,

there is a possibility
of inflicting more damage.
What kind of damage?

Patrick might end up

with some degree of paralysis
in his right leg.

But... but I'll
still be able to play.

Uh, I don't know
if this is the right--

please, grandpa.
Let her do it.

I don't need legs,
but I need the piano.

What do you think?
The pacemaker will
buy us time.

I can't figure out why
her rhythms deteriorated.
How is she?

Uh, she's stable for now.
What is she doing
out of jail?

Well, after you wouldn't sign
her compassionate release,

mom's health got worse.

She developed
congestive heart failure.

And the prison doctors,
they couldn't handle it,

so... last week, they, uh,
they let her out.

Anyway, this morning,
she, uh,

she was having a hard time
catching her breath,

so I called 9-1-1.
All right, did anything
bring this on?

Has she been smoking?
Just a few a day.

How about dr*gs?
Anything new?

Answer the question.

Look, I tried finding another
doctor to sign that release.

But you were right, Pete.

Her heart symptoms,
they weren't bad enough.

She just wasn't sick enough.
So she told you
to make her sick enough.

She said she didn't care how,
that she'd do anything.

So I did some research,
and I, uh...

I bribed a guard who, uh,
slipped her these pills.

All right, what--
what kind of pills?

What were you thinking?
She begged me.
I had to get her out.

What kind of pills?
Digoxin.

What is it? What's the matter?
Don't you understand?
You poisoned her.

I need 250 milligrams
of digiverse. Now.

Violet, I think
it might be better

if you step aside
on this one.

Sheldon, some people who read
my book will be patients.

I anticipated that.
I can work with that.

It doesn't take away
from the fact

that I can help these girls.
I think it does.

As therapists, we have to be
blank slates, sounding boards.

There's a reason
we're judicious

about sharing our personal lives
with patients.

It distracts them.
They waste time focusing on us

instead of dedicating their
energy on their own problems.

You know that
that session was tainted.

There was no taint there.

There--there was titillation,
and that will fade.

Those girls
don't want to be here,

which means getting through
to them is an uphill battle.

And their mothers--
I just...

There's a lot of work
that needs to be done

in repairing
those relationships.

Which I can do,
because last time I checked,

only one of us
is actually a mother

or a former 16-year-old girl.

With all due respect,

having a vag*na does not give
you a degree in psychiatry,

and whether you might
believe it or not,

your book is a problem.

I can handle it, Sheldon.

You know, you might find this
hard to believe,

but I was trying to help her.
She almost d*ed.

I told him to do it.

I had no choice
because you wouldn't help me.

You are not
my responsibility.

Yes, she is. Parents take care
of their children,

then children step up
for their parents.

I mean, isn't that what
you're gonna do teach Lucas?
You leave my son out of this.

Boys, please.
She did not take care of us.

I was the one who made sure we
had something to eat every day.

I was the one
who put us to bed

on the nights when she was
drinking, which was every night.

Don't talk about me that way.
I'm still your mother.
Yeah, you were there
at the birth,

I'll give you that,
but that's it.

How did you get to be
so cold, Pete?
You made me that way.

You look like the cat
who got the cream.

I am most definitely
that cat.

Who's the lucky girl?

Marla thompkins.

The reviewer who trashed
Violet's book? You're kidding.

How'd that happen?
Oh, I met her
at Violet's book party,

and then she called.

I knew I should've said no
after what she did to Violet--

only matters what she's doing to
you, and from the looks of it,

she is doing it well.
I say go for it.

- Go for what?
- Marla thompkins.

Seriously?
Was I speaking in tongues?

You'd really do that to Violet?
Yes, I'm late for something.

Who put a bug
up your ass?

That'd be me.

I gave his patient
an opinion he didn't like.

My patient is a piano virtuoso.
He also has a brain tumor.

The safest way
to remove the tumor

may mean that he never plays
the piano again.
If I take
a more radical approach,

I'll compromise his leg
but I'll spare his hand.

He could have a stroke.

You could knock out
his hearing or his vision.
This is the surgery
that Patrick wants.

He's 14 years old.
He's nowhere near old enough

to understand the implications
of a decision this big.

What's the right age to choose
between an arm and a leg?

Look,
some things you just know.

I knew at age 6
I was gonna be a surgeon.
And when I was a little kid,
I was obsessed with the piano

and thought maybe I wanted
to be a musician.
I never knew you played.

'Cause my interests changed.

What was important to me then
is not important to me now.

And maybe someday,
Patrick's gonna want

to walk down the aisle
or chase after his kids.
Look, this kid has a gift.

Who are we
to take it away from him?

Believe it or not,
my day got worse.

Yes, actually,
I'm meeting someone--
so Pete is all freaked out

because they brought
his mother into the E.R.,

and she's supposed to be
in prison, but his brother--

his brother, Adam--got her out.
But not in any normal way.

No, no, not through
a parole hearing

or time off for good behavior.
No, he poisons her.

He poisons her.

Now granted that is a course
of action I've been considering

with my own mother for a number
of years now, but I've managed

to keep that particular genie
in the bottle.

So Frances' heart
is now damaged,

and Adam is blaming Pete,
and Pete is blaming Adam--
sorry I'm late.

Oh.
We didn't the chance to meet the other night

at your party.
Marla thompkins.

Yeah,
i-i-i know who you are.

Are you two dating?

Well, you know...
Labels can be so confining.

We're dating.

Patrick and I
have discussed it.

We will go
with the safer surgery.
Well, that's a good call.

We didn't discuss it. Grandpa
just told me what he wanted.

What? It's the truth.

You are a child.

It's my brain.
Patrick, we can't go ahead
with a craniotomy

without
your grandfather's consent.

But if Patrick does not want
the other surgery,

we can't force him
to do that, either.
I don't understand.

If it becomes a matter
for the courts,

they'll probably go
with what you decide,

but that could take weeks.
We don't have weeks. We need
to do the surgery immediately.

Or Patrick will die.
We'll do the safer surgery.

But that's not
what I want.

The decision's been made.
No, it's not.

Either you let me do
the awake craniotomy,

or you let me die.

Hey, Patrick.

Hey.

You never get nervous
when you're onstage?

Once I start playing,
I'm just in it.

I guess that's a good thing
when you're performing.

But, you know, that focus on
what's right in front of you,

it can keep you
from seeing everything else.

This surgery that you want,

you could spend the rest
of your life in a wheelchair.

I don't care.
You don't care now,
but I don't think

you really understand
the decision you're making.

There's only a handful
of people in the world

who can do what I do.

When I play,
every part of me--

my hands,
my brain, my soul--

it all engages
in this perfect synchronicity.

It's almost like
I'm watching myself

rather than actually
doing it.

I can't really describe it,
but--

being a musician,
that feeling,

I know it's the most important
thing to you now,

but you're just a kid.

You can't close yourself off
to the idea that other things

could become equally
if not more important.

I think if you talk to
your grandfather about this...

He loves you, Patrick.

He loves the way I play.
I don't think music

is as important to him
as your relationship.

Music is my relationship
with my grandfather.

All these people showed up
at the house

the night
my parents were k*lled.

I didn't know
what they were doing there,

but everyone kept asking me

if I wanted ice cream
or pizza or a movie.

I thought it was a party.

Then I saw my grandfather,
and he looked so sad.

I tried to hug him,

and he didn't know
what to do.

He never really
looked at me after that

until he taught me
to play piano.

That's how we started
to speak to each other.

You can learn other ways
to communicate.

He can't.

Frances.

I'm--I'm Violet Turner.
I'm Pete's wife.

Who'd have thought--

Pete's a doctor
married to a doctor?

And a pretty one, too.

And your boy Lucas, is he
as smart as the two of you?

Smarter.
He has Pete's smile.

Well, I never saw
much of that smile.

Pete never talks about
his father.

Well, that's because
he never knew him.
You two weren't together
that long?

Long enough
to have a baby...

A few laughs.

Well...
Do you need anything?

Can I get you anything?

Can you get Pete
to talk to me?

Well, I think
that's up to Pete.

I'm probably
asking for too much.

I mean, he's been here.

He's just cold.

I can't erase what I did.

I'll be judged for that.

But I want Pete to forgive me.

I need that before I...

You don't owe me
one damn thing.

But please,
can you help me?

Why didn't you tell me
you played piano?

It didn't seem important.

Sounds like
you used to love it.
I used to love
to eat paste, too.

Why'd you give it up?
The piano or the paste?

Did you get bored?
No.

Were you just not any good?
Actually, I was quite good.

My dad taught me. You know, my
mom, she's not at all musical.

The woman can't even whistle.
So it was something special

that me and my dad shared,
just the two of us.

Then why'd you quit?

Uh...

I told you about my brother.

The one who d*ed
before you were born--Andy.

So when I was, like, 15,

I found a picture
tucked into some sheet music,

um, of Andy.

And he couldn't have been
more than 4 or 5,

and he was sitting
on my dad's lap,

and my dad was holding
his hands on the keys.

And so your dad taught
Andy to play, too.

Doesn't mean
it wasn't special.

Every time I practiced,
I wondered if my dad

was in the other room

pretending
it was Andy playing....

So I quit.

Sorry, Coop.

Don't be.
It was a long time ago.

You wanted to know,
and I told you.

You know, um...

Every Sunday
when I was growing up,

my parents would take me
to this Chinese restaurant,

and, um... I j--i hated it.

It was
all the way across town,

and we would drive in silence
to get to this meal

where nobody
basically said a word.

So, um, the last time
I was home,

my parents wanted to go
to that restaurant,

and I thought, you know,
I'm a grown-up.

I mean, how bad can it be?

Well, two bites
into this egg roll,

I was complaining about work,

and my mother cut me off
with a smile, and she said,

"why didn't you become a lawyer
like your cousin Trudy?"

And the way she said it,

Pete, I swear, I...

I couldn't even finish eating.
I just walked out the door.

I thought Trudy was a teacher.
She is.

She practiced law for two years,
and then she quit,

which is a fact my mother
is well-aware of.

Okay,
I get it Violet.

- Nobody pushes our buttons like family.
- And when they do,

it evaporates every ounce
of maturity we have,

and we are left to be
stubborn, angry 12 year olds.

Are you telling me
to grow up?
No.

I'm... saying

that you could heal
your 12 year old

by forgiving Frances

for all the terrible things
that she did.

She knows she failed you.
She doesn't know anything
of the kind.

I talked to her, Pete.

Why would you do that?

Because you're my husband.

Because knowing even just
a little bit about her

and your past helps me
to understand you better.

I know that this is hard--
if you want to make peace
with some parents,

why don't you start
with your own?

I've never seen you make
so much as a phone call.
Yes, yes, i--it's true. I am
asking you to do some work that

I have not yet been able to do
on my own, but just because

that seems unfair
doesn't mean that I am wrong.

If you are able
to forgive Frances,

she won't be able
to control you anymore.

She is who she is,
you are who you are,

and the only thing
that's important

is how you move forward.

But that's up to you.

I talked to Patrick.

And?
He wants the awake craniotomy
because he thinks

his grandfather
won't love him anymore

if he can't play the piano.
The grandfather told him
to get the safer surgery.

A smart kid can always feel
the truth behind the words,

and now he is making
a life-or-death decision

based on fear that--
lots of people do.

This is just wrong.

Cooper, Dennis has raised
this kid by himself

for, what, like ten years?
Yeah, I know, but--

their relationship
can't be that tenuous.

Look, I know seeing me
with Marla was a shock,

and I know you two got off
on the wrong foot,

but if you give her a chance,
I think you'll see

that she's really kind of
an amazing person, you--
she's a bitch.

Okay, look, she didn't like
your book.
She savaged me, Sheldon.

Does the entire world
need to be in love with you?

Are you really that insecure?
You know, Sheldon, my plate

is kind of full right now
with Pete and his mother

and teenagers
ruining their lives.

I don't have time
for this crap. Hello.

Sorry we're late.

Okay, well, um, this is
the nursery, obviously.

So after your babies are born,
they'll be brought here

to get cleaned up
and get some tests done.

Unless they're, you know,
cut out of you.

We've all read it.
And after about an hour,

they'll be brought to your room
so that you can nurse.

Did it hurt when the crazy lady
cut it out of you?
Okay, again, this is not
about Dr. Turner.

This is about you and how
your lives are gonna change.
Okay, that is not fair.

She's telling us we're total
screwups, but in reality--
no one is saying that.

Hello. Were you completely
tuned out yesterday?

She smushed with, like, two guys
and didn't even use protection.

She doesn't even know
who the dad is.
She is right here.

Whatever. You didn't even
want your kid.

At least we want our babies.
Oh, getting pregnant
for status or to get love,

that is selfish and immature.

Violet, that's enough.
No, no, Sheldon.
I want to help these girls,

but I'm not gonna stand here
and be abused.
Okay, please, just leave.

Oh! Ohh! Ah! Ah!
What's going on?

It feels like something's
tearing inside me. Aah!

We need a gurney here!
Lisa, call Casey's mom.

No, no, I don't need her.
Just Lisa.

Ah! What's happening?
Okay, okay,
you are bleeding inside,

your baby is in danger, and it
needs to come out right now.
Ah! Ah!

Oh, my god.
That's disgusting.

The delivery
isn't the hard part.

The pain is fleeting.

It's the responsibility
that's forever.

This isn't what I expected.
I mean, just look at Casey.

This is too much.
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.

I'm here for you, and we'll--
we'll keep working.

No. I can't do this.

Is that Lucas?

I used to think
it was my fault.

If I was a better kid,
that you wouldn't drink.

If I was a good son, that maybe
one of the guys you brought home

would hang around
for more than a couple of days.

But... but then I had Lucas,
and...

The love I feel for him,
it just...

Changed everything.

How could you not feel that
for Adam and me?

I-I was drunk
most of the time.

Then there were dr*gs.

You know, after a while,

the person you are...
Is just gone.

Pete, I'm so sorry.

I don't know what to do
to make it up to you.

Maybe I can't.

But I love you.

Is it too late
to start over?

Lucas, this is Frances.

She's your grandmother.

Hi. You are a big boy.

'Ight.
He looks like you.

Hello.

Mm.

Yeah.

Pete, got a second?

So I looked at the echo,

and the damage to her heart
is pretty extensive.

There's nothing we can do,
Pete. I'm sorry.

Mama?

How long?

Well, she's in borderline
cardiogenic shock.

She's not responding--
Sam, how long?

Not long.

You wanted to see me?

I'd like to talk to you
about Patrick.

I assumed.

He needs to have surgery.

Either surgery,
but he needs to have one.

So you two need to make
a decision,

because his tumor
is gonna keep growing and...

Do you love him?

You have to love him.

Just because I don't say it
doesn't mean I don't feel it

or that Patrick
doesn't know it.
He doesn't know it.

I mean, can't you see that?
He is terrified

that his only connection
to you is through music.

He is willing
to paralyze himself

because he is afraid
that without piano,

you won't connect anymore.

You have to tell him
that you love him.

You have to say the words,

because if you don't and we
are not able to do something,

he is gonna die.

Don't you dare lecture me
about death.

Someday you will reach a point

where more of the people
you love are dead than alive,

and that, Dr. Shepherd,
is terrifying.

To lose your wife...
To a stroke

and then your son
in a car accident--

I understand death.

What I don't understand
is why every feeling

has to be communicated.

If the love is there,
you know.

When I was a kid, my dad
was sh*t in front of me,

and what helped me keep going
was my mother.

Every night before bed,

she said, "good night.
I love you.

I will see you tomorrow,"
and there was no confusion.

There was no doubt
that she loved me

enough for both of them.

And that even in his absence,
she would be there, always.

Please just talk to him.

If Patrick wants the surgery,
do it.

I thought...
Why aren't you dressed?

I'm not going in today.

You gonna see your mother?

Maybe. I don't know.

You don't want to do this.

Spare me
the missed opportunity speech.

That ship sailed
a long time ago.

W-What, so you're gonna
walk away now?

Look, I didn't get
the mother I wanted.

I didn't get the mother
I deserved,

and it made me so angry...
I wanted her to die.

I wished for it.

But yesterday,
for a few minutes,

it was like...

Her death
would've been easier before,

but now it's...

Now it's gonna hurt

because you had a glimpse

of what could've been
between the two of you

if things were different.

I'm sorry, Pete.
It's gonna hurt.

I mean, there's just no way
around it.

You just
gotta get through it.

But maybe this pain
is good...

Because it means that
somewhere inside of you

you still want to connect
with Frances,

and now she wants that, too.

I mean, has it come
decades too late?

Yeah... But...

But maybe those patients
that you comforted

while they d*ed,

maybe they were just practice
for helping your mother...

Right here, right now.

You think he's coming?
I don't know, Cooper.

But he might.

Hey. You ready?

My grandfather's
not gonna show, Dr. Freedman.

I told you, he's only
interested in me if I can play.
You know what?
Why don't I gown up?

You don't have to
go in there alone.
I won't be.

I've got Dr. Shepherd.
Okay.

I'm sorry I was so harsh
on you at the hospital,

but the book, it changes things,
you know? It just does.

I didn't need you
to bail me out back there.
Yes, you did.

Look... I don't want this
to be adversarial betw--

you should've thought of that
before you starting smushing

that venomous--
don't make this about Marla.

You know what?
Let's keep this professional.

Fine. My professional opinion
is that

you're not in a position
to help those girls right now.

But I am the same therapist
as I've always been.

I'm probably better, in fact,
but...

What am I supposed to do?

You had something to say
and you said it.

It's healthy for you.
It's gonna help a lot of people.

But there's a price
to be paid for that,

and that's where you are
right now.

And I'm sorry,
but that's just the reality.

I need to stimulate
a few more areas in your brain

so I know
where it's safe to cut.

Just keep playing, okay,
Patrick?

Any requests?

I think the guy
with his brain exposed

gets to choose.

Wh-what's happening?

It's okay. Now I know that's
an area I can't go near.

All right, Patrick.
I'm gonna cut now. You ready?

Patrick, you all right?

I wish Dr. Freedman
had been right.

I wish my grandfather
would've come.

Let's get started.

♪♪♪

Where is he?
Where's Patrick?

Uh, he's already in surgery.

I never should've agreed
to this surgery.

I thought if I gave him
what he wanted,

he--he'd know how I felt.

If anything happens,
and I missed my chance...

Mm.

Maybe it's not too late.

I love you.

What's happening?
Dr. Shepherd,
I can't feel my hand.

Dr. Shepherd?
I've got some bleeding
in the brain.

Well, do something!
I can't lose him.

I need some suction here.

♪ And you'll find ♪

♪ this time tomorrow ♪

♪ will decide ♪

♪ where it will all go ♪

♪ in this life ♪

I did this.

Stop.

No, no.
It's because of what I gave her.

I mean, I was just trying--
she's been sick for a while.

And now it's time.

♪♪♪

Don't be scared.
I'm here.

♪ Let it play out ♪

♪ I hope that the sun ♪

We're both here.

♪ I hope
that the sun finds you now ♪

Oh.

Thank you.

It's okay, mom.

You're gonna be okay.

♪ Let ♪

♪ it play ♪

♪ out ♪

♪ I hope that the sun ♪

♪ Finds you now ♪

No, no, no.

♪ And you'll find ♪

♪ this time tomorrow ♪

♪ Will decide ♪

♪ where it will all go ♪

♪ in this life ♪

Why did we have to leave?

Dr. Shepherd
needed to focus.

I was too late.
I was too late.

Whatever happens,
Patrick knows you love him.

Mm-hmm.

He's in recovery.
He had a brain hemorrhage.

I had to evacuate
the hematoma,

but I managed to get
the bleeding under control

and I got the whole tumor.

Whew. Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Uh, will he walk again?

We won't know
until the swelling goes down.

If we're lucky, he may end up

with only some mild weakness
in his leg,

but he will play again,
so all things considered,

this was a success.
Uh, can I see him?

Of course.

How can you say
it's a success

if he might
end up paralyzed?

That's the success.

How are you doing?

Lisa never came back.

Jamie called.

She's giving her baby up
for adoption.

So much for the pact.

And has your mom been by?

To criticize me and yell.

She's not gonna come around
on this.

How am I supposed to do this
by myself?

I'm totally alone.

Did you decide on a name?

Ben.

Well, then you're not alone.
You've got Ben.

I'm scared.

Well, we can work on that.

I read your book,
all of it.

And?

I can't believe
how much you've been through.

It must have been really hard.

Um, yeah.
Well, you know, it was.

But, um...

You know,
I got through it.

When I saw Casey...

That little person
just kind of came out of her,

and it just suddenly
became real.

Like...

I feel like
I've really screwed up.

I look at my mom,
and she tries to be nice,

but she already
has three kids.

She doesn't need
another one.

Well, this won't be her child.
It'll be yours.

I know.

But I...
But I need her.

I really need my mom.

And watching Casey,
I just...

Knew that
I'm gonna need help,

and I don't want to be
any more of a burden.

My mom doesn't deserve that.

Well, look...

Family is... hard.

It just is.

But your mother
will understand,

because she already knows what
I've been trying to tell you--

that from this moment on,

your primary focus has to be
the well-being of your child.

That's...

That's why I left my son
with his father,

because I couldn't take care
of him, and...

And he deserved better.

Just like you said
in the book.

Just like I said
in the book.

I don't know if I want
to keep this baby anymore.

Maybe I do.
I'm just not sure.

But I don't know how to talk
to my mom about this.

Well, why don't we
talk to her together?

Hi.

Here's the thing--
I don't know your father,

and maybe
when you were a newborn,

he did look at you
and wish that you were Andy,

'cause frankly,
babies all look the same.

They're all bald,
wailing poop machines.

But the minute you started
to grow, you were Cooper,

not some replacement child.

What did you do?

Oh. Oh.

You can't give up
on the things you love,

not ever.

Go.

Ahh.

♪ can't see the stars anymore ♪

♪ living here ♪

All I'm saying is that
Violet's got a lot going on.

She opened herself up
for this book,

and you wrote
a-a tough review.

The book is already causing
problems with patients.

And--and then she sees you
with me--
so what? My interaction
with Violet's professional.

My interaction
with you is personal.

I don't see the conflict.

Unless your relationship
with Violet is personal.

Well, we're colleagues.

Look...

I like you, Sheldon,
a lot.

But I don't want
to have to fight

for your loyalty or affection.
I'm not asking you
to fight for me.

No, but apparently,
I have to ask you to fight,

and I don't like that feeling.
When being with me

is more important to you than
what Violet thinks about us,

call me.
Oh, come on--

no.

Wh--

♪ Deep in my soul
for too long ♪

♪ ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I don't have the time ♪

♪ for a drink the cup ♪

She d*ed.

I'm so sorry.

♪ Catch us up ♪

Adam took it pretty hard.

Well... you know, he's...

Had a lot more years
of actually speaking to her

than I have, so...

You--you can leave
all this, sweetie.

The funeral home came
and took the body away.

Pete--
I don't even know if she wants
to be buried or cremated.

Maybe Adam knows, but i--
Pete.

♪ ...wrong ♪

♪ we pushed you down
deep in our souls ♪

♪ Bring on the wonder ♪

♪ bring on the song ♪

♪ I pushed you down deep ♪

♪ in my soul ♪

♪ For too long ♪