03x01 - Return to Mewni/Moon the Undaunted

[bunniefuu]

[" I'm from Another Dimension" by Brad Breeck plays]

It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [song ends]

[clattering]

[puppy yipping]

[Angie]

Did you hear that? [Raphael]

Y-yes.

Maybe we should call the police.

[scoffs]

Police.

[Angie]

Hand me my nine-iron.

[golf club clanks]

There's only one law in this jungle.

Mom's law.

[yipping]

[sad song playing on radio]

- Marco? It's 3 a.

m.

- Is it? - Honey, what are you doing up? - Nothing.

Barco Diaz, stop, we're sad now.

Act sad.

[yipping]

I'll take care of this.

Maybe it's time we take down these decorations.

[music stops]

Mom, that's too soon.

What if Star comes back? [music starts]

I want it to be like nothing's changed.

Oh, honey, I know this is hard.

Look, I [phone dialing]

Raphael, what are you doing? I was just going to call the Teen Sadness hotline.

I told you.

[music stops]

I got this.

[Angie]

Well, how does your oatmeal taste? Like empty nothingness.

Mom, can you be addicted to crying? [bowl breaks]

[puppy whines]

How about some Captain Blanche's Sugar Seeds? [groans]

Star loved Sugar Seeds.

[playing louder]

- I'll pour you a bowl.

- I tried, I can't even find the box.

They're in the cupboard behind the dog food.

I hid it so well.

[Star]

Behind the dog food, Diaz! Star would eat all of them.

And now they're both gone! Its behind the dog food, Marco.

Stop being so dramatic.

Why do you have to be such a cute idiot! [carriage rumbling]

[sniffing]

Oh, Marco, yuck! When was the last time you washed this thing! Star! We need to be quiet! We don't know who might be listening.

[music]

Sorry, Mom.

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

- Can you check on the Commission? - Yeah, they seem okay.

[chirping]

Still in their stasis.

[cawing]

Oh, looks like ol' Heckapoo is gonna be an aunty! So how exactly are we going to de-balloonify them? Once we're at the sanctuary, the Well of Magic should be able to rejuvenate them.

- And Lekmet's gonna meet us there? - Yes, he'll meet us there.

[Star]

Okay, great.

[Chuckles]

- So what's up with that warnicorn? - What? [panting]

[Star]

Mom! - Mom, what is going on? - Its the fritz! It's causing all magic to to weaken and fade.

It's okay, we're all right, as long as we have this magical path to guide us.

[lights buzzing]

I guess we're setting up camp.

[grunting]

[defeated sigh]

I got this one, Mom.

- Stop! It's corrupted! - What? No, no, no, it's fine! Don't worry about it.

It does this all the time.

Glossaryck never cared.

Glossaryck isn't here, and, ugh, he's probably not coming back.

- Wait.

What do you mean? - Toffee has Glossaryck, and your wand seems tainted by his magic as well.

It's the same magic I saw when I fought Ludo.

Now let's start a fire, and we'll head for the sanctuary in the morning.

There must be something helpful in here.

"I corn't wait to see you again.

" Uh, did your father pack this with nothing but Ugh, no.

[groans]

- What are you doing? - Starting a fire.

Duh.

- Did your father teach you that? - No, Marco did.

Marco taught me a lot, like how to mope, self-pity, ya know, all the cool teen stuff, and now that's all I have.

- What Mom! - Shh shh shh! [rats squeaking]

[sniffing]

[music]

[whispering]

It looks like they're just scouts.

- We'll let them - [whispering]

Mom, check it out! Star! No! [squeaking]

Ugh! Fine! [music]

Stick blast! - Yah! - Star! [shuddering]

[squeaking]

Aah! I did it! I did it! Yeah! I did it! Star, we need to get out of here immediately.

I can't believe you would be so foolish as to [squeaking]

[gasps]

The High Commission! [raspberry]

[panting]

- Where Where did they go? - They're right there.

[creature howls]

- [sing-songy]

Guess we're goin' up! - Ugh, fine.

Ugh, never listens to her mother.

C'mon, Mom! What's the big deal? The big deal is your recklessness has put us in harm's way.

[grunting]

It's just a little danger.

I've been in way worse than this.

You know what I'm talkin' about.

[Moon]

Mmm! Mmm! [muffled scream]

Mom! Are you okay? Let's just get the Magical High Commission and get out of here.

Okay.

[gasps]

The Sanctuary! [chuckles]

Is it, like, a little Sanctuary guardian? - No, he's the gatekeeper.

- Wait, what? - Wah! - Wah! - Rahh! - Wahh! She's lost her marbles.

Wah! [music]

[all]

Wah! Wah! Whoa.

- Whoa! Look at all the Glossarycks.

- Yes, Star.

The queens of Mewni have been coming here for generations.

What now? [straining]

All right.

Let's get the Commission into their pods - so we can revive them.

- Lets go, guys! All right, I'm going to open the Wellspring.

Stand clear.

[straining]

Is that stuff supposed to be all black and goopy like that? No, it's not! [thick bubbling]

Oh, I feel like that's not how its supposed to look.

- [gasps]

It's worse than I'd feared.

- Mom? - We'll have to go with plan B.

- All right, plan B? - What's plan B? - We'll talk about that after we get settled in.

Look at you, you're covered in scratches.

Let's fix you up.

[gasps]

What are you doing?! Star, what do you want me to do? It's in tatters already.

Uh, Mom? If the well is messed up, how are we going to revive the Magic High Commission? We don't need to worry about that right now, Star.

This sanctuary is very well hidden.

Now, do you want creamed corn or corned cream? - What? - To eat, Star.

Generations of Butterflys have come here in times of danger.

We'll be safe for as long as it takes.

Now, do you have any change? So we're just going to hide? That's your plan B? That's a terrible plan B! - Your safety is my priority right now.

- Uh, I didn't blow up my whole life just so you could give up! Come on, we could track those rats back to Toffee and end this whole thing! Even if the Magical High Commission was okay, we still wouldn't be strong enough to defeat Toffee.

Our best bet is to lay low until the situation changes.

- You lied to me.

- Star, what are you doing? What else have you lied about, Mom? I bet Lekmet isn't even meeting us here! Lekmet is dead, Star.

And it could happen to us, too.

Toffee won't stop until he finds this! Did you take that from my closet? And you're just carrying it around? - It's too dangerous to do anything but stay.

- No! I am not hiding here until I am old and gray like you! - This has to mean something! - No, Star! The wands are linked! He'll find us! Oh, like he won't find us with you carrying his finger around! I defeated him once, I can do it again! - Fantastic exit beam! - Star, stop! Why? What happened to cool warrior queen Mom? I was never a cool warrior queen, Star.

I was a happy-go-lucky girl like you.

And then Toffee and his monsters k*lled my mother.

[music]

I thought you sent Grandma to a grandma farm - to hang out with other grandmas.

- Oh, Star.

Tell me.

I was about your age when it happened.

I didn't know what to do, so I spoke to Eclypsa.

Eclypsa Eclypsa? But she's been dead for hundreds of years! No, Eclypsa's alive.

And I made a deal with her.

[monsters chattering]

[music]

[Mildrew]

Hey.

I'm sorry, am I bothering you? No, Count Mildrew.

I'm just Mourning the loss of your mother? I understand.

It's been a hard week, but I'm There's no need to be strong.

Deal with your feelings.

We will handle everything else.

Uh, Princess? Uh, I mean, Queen Moon? There's a a situation in the in the situation room.

I swear it wasn't my orders! [grunting]

You shut up during your confession! [door opens]

[Young Moon]

Mina.

What is going on? [chair squeaks]

- What is going on? - According to this dingus here, one of his mooks lammed-off with half an army, and they're the ones who put your mama in a wooden nightgown.

Ya know, they, uh they put her on ice.

- Uh, drapes down in funtown - Thank you, Mina.

Oh.

Sorry about your mama.

The queen and I were about to sign up a peace treaty - when one of my generals went rogue.

- Rogue wha Who? He's known as The Lizard.

[stifling laugh]

Sorry, I mean "The Lizard" - Dude, don't laugh.

- Shut it, both of you! Put this guy in the caboose and let's croak those toads! - I think we should go to w*r! - Now is not the time.

And her magic isn't strong enough for w*r yet.

Especially against the lizards.

They're indestructible.

We need to go to w*r! We need to sign the peace treaty! Yelling feels really good right now! [all yelling]

[Young River]

Maybe we should let Moon decide? - She is the Queen.

- She just lost her mother, River.

She needs time with her feelings.

[all shouting at River]

I am the queen now, so I will make the decision.

My decision is that I will make a decision at dawn.

Ugh.

Why did I say "decision" so many times? Queen Moon! I'm sorry I spoke out of place.

- I got you something.

- Uh what is this? It's an apology meat.

It's how we Johanssons apologize.

It was a relief to know someone believed in me.

- Thank you.

- Hey! Anytime, pal! Did I just call the queen "pal"? Ugh! Oh, apology meat, what am I going to do? [muffled crying]

[crying]

- Oh, Glossy, are you okay? - No! Your mama's gone! [sobbing]

- I know.

- And she's never coming back! [sobbing]

- No, she isn't.

- And I really liked her, too.

I know you're upset so am I But, right now, I really need your help.

Things are bad.

I I have to decide between signing a peace treaty or waging a w*r.

Oh, yeah [sniffles]

that.

I don't know, just pick one.

Sure it'll work out.

- That's not helpful at all.

- Yeah, you're probably right.

I'm in no condition to give advice.

If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go cry in your mama's chapter.

[sobbing]

[gasps]

[music]

[Rhombulus]

Eclypsa's been crystalized for hundreds of years.

I've got no idea what's gonna happen when we open this up.

I can handle it.

Hoo.

Okay, I'm out.

Call if you need me.

[gasping breaths]

Oh, my gosh, I k*lled her! - [whispering]

B 4.

- What? - B 4 - "Be-fore"? - Before what? - B 4.

Oh, wait.

You want the candy? - B4, B4, B4, B4! - O kay.

[straining]

Aah! Mmm mmm mmm! How long have I been here? Uh, like, 300 years.

[coughs]

300 years? [munching]

- So, you're the new queen? - Yes, what of it? Well, it's just you're far too young to be queen, unless Oh, no.

Unless, your mother, is she? [sniffles]

I see.

I lost my mother, too, when I was not much older than you.

Ever since Mom um, since I became queen, everybody's been looking to me to end the w*r and make all these big decisions, but I'm just a kid! I can't decide the fate of Mewni! I can't even decide which boy I like! - I know how you feel.

- But that's not why I'm here.

I need you to teach me one of the spells - from your Forbidden Chapter.

- "Forbidden? " Is that what they're calling my chapter? Yeah, sorry, I didn't name it.

But the point is I need a spell that can destroy something that's immortal.

- Are you sure that's what you want? - It's my only hope.

Well, the spell you seek requires a magical contract.

I can give it to you, but once your enemy is k*lled, you must give me something in return.

Okay, what do you want? - My freedom.

- What? Oh, I know it's a lot to ask.

But I've just been here so long.

All by myself.

I want to buy my own chocolate.

Or those little shrink-wrapped muffins at the bottom.

Mm! But these are Rhombulus' crystals.

I can't free you.

A contract between two queens is stronger than any crystal.

Now, do you want to learn the spell? [music]

Come close.

Now, this [whispering]

And aim it directly at his heart [zap]

- What was that for? - I'm just doing my job, Your Majesty.

Evil queen, gotta freeze it.

She didn't seem so evil.

- The queen is late.

- Look! [goat bleating]

[music]

She's gone mad with grief! She was so young! [sobbing]

She's not dead yet, you fool! [music]

Uh, can we help you? I wish to speak to the general.

- The general? [laughter]

- [Toffee]

Silence! [dramatic music]

Hello, Princess.

I presume you're the one they call "The Lizard"? Yes, but you may call me Toffee.

Toffee? How is that any better? What do you want? I want you and your army to leave immediately, or face the consequences.

Your mom couldn't defeat us, and neither can you! I was hoping you'd say that.

We're not afraid of your little girl magic! We're invincible! Just watch! No, wait! I already know about the [crunch]

Ugh! [grunting]

[cheering]

I call the darkness unto me.

From deepest depths of earth and sea.

From ancient evils unawoken, break the one that can't be broken.

To blackest night, I pledge my soul and crush my heart to burning coal.

To summon forth a deathly power, to see my hated foe devoured.

Aah! Enough of this.

Have you learned nothing? [music]

[all gasp]

It's not growing back! [screaming]

[grunts]

Queen Moon! You did it! Oh, my gosh! River! Thank you.

- What did you just do? - I did my job! And as your queen, I will continue to do my job of protecting this kingdom.

I will hunt down the remains of the monster army and scatter them without country or leadership.

Now, are there any questions? I didn't think so.

She's a princess winning battles Through the break of dawn Don't worry when it's night 'Cause she will keep the lights on Oh, there goes a shining star Evil won't deter her 'Cause magic flows through her She is a shining star