16x05 - Klaus and Rogu in Thank God for Loose Rocks: An American Dad! Adventure

[bunniefuu]

Ta-da! My outfit for next week's annual Smith family trip to the Dude Ranch.

When Klaus join Village People? Oh, my God, did you hear that? My precious Rogu's first sick burn.

But strong disagree.

Klaus is working that outfit.

Give us a little spin, Klaus.

Yeah, yeah, now give us an over-the-shoulder.

Now give us, like, a like someone deciding what to get on the menu.

Okay, I'm good.

Does anybody else want Klaus to do something? Rogu, Klaus can wear anything he wants to the Dude Ranch.

He crushes it there.

I'm good at all their activities, and I love eating from the Chuck Wagon.

They flavor the beans with just the right amount of trail dust.

Tons.

Ugh, I hate all that dust.

It fogs up my glasses.

Steve is right, Rogu.

We all have something we love about the Dude Ranch.

For example, I, Stan, am excited to be reunited with the ranch's tequila mule Tequila Joe.

He's easily my best friend.

Francine, isn't he my best friend? Oh, for sure, Stan, but you'll see when you get there, Rogu.

You invited Rogu?! Yeah, Francine and I have a bet going on whether or not he can herd cattle better than a dog.

Rogu's just gonna eat the cattle.

And the dog.

I hope this is the year I get to ride Tequila Joe.

But Mr.

S.

, no one has ever ridden Tequila Joe.

- He's untamable.

- Jeff, why is it that you only ever open your mouth to sh*t on my dreams? Go inside.

You're not coming to the Dude Ranch.

- Babe? - Maybe next time no talking till we get there.

Very funny, Steve, now put me in my spot on the center console.

Can't.

Rogu's sitting there.

My hat! My spot! He's taking all my things! Relax, Klaus.

That outfit looks way better on him.

And no one's gonna see you in the back.

Ugh! Is everyone obsessed with Rogu? Rogu! I almost didn't get to say goodbye.

Et tu, Billy? Tequila Joe! Sorry I was gone for a whole year.

My stupid family won't let me live here.

Huh, not as dusty as I remember.

I'm gonna find a Kleenex.

Ah, there's Nowell, the main ranch hand.

He's my boy! Rogu, try not to be jealous when he calls me by my nickname Buckaroo.

Howdy, Smiths! Welcome back to the Octuple J.

Hey, Buckaroo! How you doing? So good.

Bet you're stoked that And who's this little monster you brought with you, Buckaroo? Ugh, that's Rogu.

Gross, right? He's adorable.

I'm gonna give him a nickname.

Not Buckaroo.

That's what I call everybody.

I know! Buckarito! Buck-a-Rogu.

That's great, but I'mma do mine.

Let me show you all to your cabins.

I'm gonna bury you, Suckarito.

Suckarito.

Haven't heard that term in a long time.

If I remember correctly, it's where one guy chugs margaritas while I blow him.

And then That's it I think.

Yeah.

Yeah, I am remembering that correctly.

Great job, Buckaroo! Man, if you told me that someday I would meet a fish who could talk and was good at roping, I woulda Whoa, look at Buckarito! Ha! b*at that, Suckarito.

Oh! Great sh*t, Rogu.

You hit the cook right in his noot sack.

Cook? I'm the got-dang sommelier! But your name is Cookie, right? Yes, it is.

- And you are the cook? - Yes.

Then what are you mad about? I reckon it's the horseshoe you threw into my balls.

Ugh, you gonna hold that over us forever? It was a joke, dude.

Nine seconds! A new Octuple J record.

Hold your horses! Buckarito's at 15 seconds and counting.

Wow, I wouldn't even think to do it that way.

What's Rogu doing? What are we laughing at? Ladies to the middle and back to the bar Gents go in with a right-hand star Now everyone make way for ol' Rogu He's the star of this hullabaloo Oh, yeah! What does he have that I don't? Nothing! I guess he has that Nintendo Switch with basically all the games, but that's all.

Do-si-do, two by two Everyone kiss Rogu Who am I kidding? He's a sh**ting star.

I have to do something.

Kiss Rogu once again But this time, just the men Nooo! Aah! Tequila Joe is gone! Someone cut his rope and he wandered off.

I knew I shouldn't have left him alone.

But you just had to bone! A switchblade? That's probably what they used to cut the rope! Does it say who's property it is? It says, "property of Ragu.

" Uh, I'm pretty sure it says, "property of Rogu.

" Wait, Klaus, how do you think you spell Rogu? R - A? - What did you do?! Easy, Buckaroo.

Now, we may never get to the bottom of who cut Tequila Joe loose, but it was definitely either Klaus or Buckarito, charming little devil that he is.

So they're gonna have to go into the wilderness to find him.

What?! I don't want to go out there with him! Well, you should've thought of that before you freed or didn't free Tequila Joe.

Seems pretty obvious it was Klaus.

It's not obvious to me.

Let the wilderness decide! Well, Rogu, this is quite the bowl of sh*t sandwich you got us into.

Me? Klaus one who frame Klaus one who framed Rogu.

Why do you talk so freaking slow, bro?! - Rogu talk faster.

- What? You could do that this whole time? Rogu learn English one year ago.

Rogu careful no make mistakes.

Plus, Rogu talk slow, charm pants off laaadies.

Almost lunch and no sign of Tequila Joe.

If we don't find a way to track him, we're gonna be out here all night.

Tequila Joe! Oh, Rogu dance on the Rogu And Rogu, Rogu a Rogu And the Rogu Rogu on a Rogu And Rogu does Rogu on hats Ole.

There you are! Now let's get out of here.

Fastest way is to ride.

But Tequila Joe famously unridable.

That's only because I've never tried.

Aah! Damn it! You spooked him, Rogu! Rogu die never seeing "Ant Man & Wasp"! He's gone.

Thank you, Tequila Joe.

I'm free aah! Help! I can't swim in this much water! I'm used to way less water! Aah! Oof! Ahh, dry land.

Dry land! I need water! I need just the right amount of water! Ahh.

Thanks, Rogu.

Klaus do same for Rogu.

Maybe.

Where are we? - Klaus and Rogu lost? - Yes.

We're a long way from the ranch and we'll have to work together to find our way back.

Yay! Klaus and Rogu go on adventure! Well, I don't like it any more than you do, Rogu.

For the talent show, my brother and I are going to perform the shark scene from "Jaws.

" I don't remember a shark in that movie.

Everyone imagine in your heads John Williams' iconic theme from "Jaws.

" I can't hum it out loud because Universal's lawyers are always watching.

It's like they're the real sharks.

How can you laugh at a time like this? Tequila Joe is missing! Stan, there's no need to worry.

- These mountains aren't that dangerous.

- Really? Except of course for that pair of mountain lions that are terrorizing the region.

Yeah, Klaus, Rogu, and Tequila Joe would make a hell of a snack for those two love birds.

- Oh, God! - I think they're boyfriend/girlfriend.

- Isn't that sweet? - Well, I'm not gonna sit around watching a talent show while Tequila Joe is in danger.

I'm gonna sit around outside and worry about him.

I did like your skit about the farting cowboy, Gerhard.

Danke.

I feel like someone should tell Billy that Rogu's missing.

Thank you, Franny.

Please call if you hear anything.

Are you safe, Rogu? Oh, where are you My sweet Rogu? I hear you're lost and scared I pray that soon I'll hear you say "Billy, I'm okay" Oh, where are you My sweet Rogu? I know you're probably scared Where did you go, Tequila Joe? I miss the times we shared I hope that you are found Or that you're homeward bound You'll come back, I know - My sweet Ro-gooooo - Tequila Joooe Hee-haaaaw Okay, marry the potato skins from TGI Friday's, k*ll the vegetable soup from Olive Garden, and [BLEEP]

the baby back ribs from Chili's.

Rogu [BLEEP]

all.

Wait, this is where we fell into the river.

We're almost home.

Aah! This is exactly how that fortune teller in Reno said I would die.

Which means the nuggets will win the 2026 NBA championship.

The people of Denver will be so happy! Aah! Klaus hurt? I'm fine.

But it's been a long day.

Maybe we make camp and pass out from the pain here tonight? I have to say, between that hawk, that mountain lion, and that stink bug I k*lled, I'm not sure either of us could've made it without the other.

Maybe you're not so bad, Rogu.

That mean lot to Rogu from Klaus.

It does? Rogu look up to Klaus.

When Rogu get to Smiths, Rogu see Klaus have place.

Bottom rung of ladder.

But Rogu not know how Rogu fit in.

But everyone loves you, bro.

Sure, Rogu naturally charming.

But truth, Rogu like duck.

Calm on surface, but under, furiously paddling.

Wow, I had no idea.

You know, I'm glad we ended up out here together.

Rogu glad, too.

And Rogu ain't "lion.

" Physical comedy, too.

You're the whole package, Rogu.

Rogu have idea.

Now that friends, maybe Klaus call Rogu "Bro-gu"? Dude, self-given nicknames are embarrassing.

That would be like if I told you to call me K-Money.

Oh, my God, how good does that sound?! Rogu, you got to start calling me K-Money.

- Aah! - Rogu! Klaus help Rogu! I'll get a rope.

Here's the thing.

I have learned a lot about you on this trip, Rogu.

You have depth and feelings and you're useful.

And I'm not.

I'm not worried you're going to replace me.

I know you will.

Klaus not help Rogu? No.

I'm betraying you.

Rogu no like.

We have words after Rogu climb out.

Why did you ask for help if you could climb that easily? That! That's exactly the kind of thing that got you betrayed.

Uh, I mean, joke betrayed.

Aah! Betrayal back on! Thank God for loose rocks, huh? Okay, bye forever, Rogu.

K-Moneeeey! It's so sad that after you saved Rogu from the hawk and that mountain lion - Don't forget the stink bug.

- After all that, you couldn't save him from the river.

I tried.

But he was swept away.

He's gone, bros.

We're just glad you're okay, Klaus.

Who cares about Klaus? Tequila Joe is out there, and he's bound to be out of tequila by now.

He's just some donkey named Joe! I can't believe Rogu's gone.

Oh, we'll have a bar crawl in his honor! Maybe do a "Great Gatsby" theme? Everyone can dress up and act rich.

You rest, Klaus.

Try to eat.

- Aah! - You left Rogu to die.

I-I had to! He would've Oh, God, what have I done, Pancakes?! Klaus, are you talking to your pancakes? Here I am in the hallway talking to my pancakes.

- Mind if we join? - Roger, I Rogu didn't drown.

He fell into a mine shaft, and I left him there! So, Rogu is alive? Yes! We have to save him! Klaus, there's no easy way to say this.

- You should've k*lled him.

- Wait, what? Look, I'm happy my son's alive, although I'm more than a little embarrassed to cancel his Mardi Gras-themed memorial bar crawl five minutes after sending out the evite, but no one betrays Rogu and lives to tell the tale.

But he's trapped.

His arm is pinned under a rock.

So? He could chew through that thing in two seconds.

Watch.

And our kind can regenerate limbs practically at will.

Hmm, it's usually pretty fast.

Oh, well, it'll grow back.

But make no mistake, Rogu is coming for you.

Rogu's already here? Could be a coincidence.

Nope, that's Rogu.

He loves sh**ting people in the nuts.

He's not wrong, it's funny.

Oh! Great bit, Rogu, keep it up.

Take cover! Aah! What the hell is going on? Rogu's trying to k*ll Klaus.

Rogu's alive?! Yep, Klaus left Rogu to die in a pit, and now Rogu cut his arm off and is gonna k*ll Klaus.

You know, I had a feeling that's what happened.

Now he's pissed and he's gonna k*ll us all.

We should probably say our goodbyes.

Goodbye, Roger.

You're the only one I'm gonna miss, and I can easily say you're the funniest out of everybody.

I think the sh**ting stopped.

Rogu seek parlay.

Rogu show he mean business.

Now want Klaus.

Let rest live.

Welp, I know where I stand.

Stay right there, Klaus.

You can't have him, Rogu.

Klaus is family.

Klaus is family.

- I am? - Klaus, did you really think we hate you so much we'd let you die? You need to work on your self-esteem, man.

Your funeral.

Rogu come back tonight.

No mercy.

See ya then, Rogu.

Look, Klaus, it grew back.

Klaus come to face Rogu by self? This is between me and you.

They don't need to suffer for what I've done.

Klaus noble and stupid.

Any last words? Yes.

When the family wouldn't give me up, I realized maybe they do like me.

Which means there's room for both of us, and I was a fool to betray one of the most special creatures I've ever met.

Billy? You, Bro-gu.

I will face the consequences, but I want you to know that I am truly sorry.

Wow.

Mean a lot to Rogu that you learn lesson.

Oh, good.

I'm glad Before you die.

Seriously?! But I apologized, like super sincerely! Yes, but also leave Rogu to die in mine shaft, so Eh-uh.

Aah! A second mountain lion? I wonder if they know each other.

Told you I was good at Dude Ranch stuff.

Klaus save Rogu even though Rogu plan k*ll Klaus? You're family, too.

Klaus still die.

Are you kidding me?! But where Klaus d*ck? Rogu need magnifying glass to find.

That is not funny, Rogu! It's little funny.

O-okay, it's a little funny, it's a little funny! I'm so happy you two managed to work things out without anyone getting hurt.

Uh, Mom, all those ranch dudes got sh*t in the d*ck.

Can you guys give me a second? Well, we're on our way.

I know I can't ride you, but maybe I can hug you? Thank you.

This is nice.

When will Have a great night!