05x10 - Are You My Mother?

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ohhh ohhh ohhh ♪

I used to think
I was in control

of everything.

And now?

♪♪♪

Now I think life happens,

and it's our job to just...

To try to keep up,

to try to ride it out,

to try to survive.

You've had a lot
of disappointment lately.

♪♪♪

Yeah.

♪♪♪

Yes, I have.

I think it's a bit excessive

for us to move all your stuff
back here just to prove

to some social worker
that I don't live with you.

Okay, fine.
Let's stay at your place.

I'm sure the social worker
would understand

that we're in a committed,
loving relationship,

but that you refuse
to acknowledge

the kid I'm trying to adopt.

I mean, I don't get it,
but I'm sure

she's more evolved
than I am.

I don't want
to fight anymore.

We're not fighting.
We're... disagreeing.

♪♪♪

I'm gonna get
some more boxes.

♪♪♪

Hey.

Hi, sweet boy. How are you?

I thought, um...
Hi.

You weren't coming
till after work.

Uh, yeah,
but Lucas got invited

to this, um, puppy party
on Saturday,

and I wanted to rsvp, and I
couldn't find the invitation.

You left it on the refrigerator.
I already rsvp'd.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, Violet, uh,

I want to... say something,

and I-I need you to know that
I'm not trying to pick a fight.

Okay.

We really need
to stick to our plan.

Which means?

That if you have a problem
with an invitation,

you call me up,
and we deal with it,

but it's my time with Lucas,

and you can't just,
you know, show up here.

To my own house?

To spend five minutes
with my son before work?

We made a deal and--

I know, I know, but...

Does it seem like
it's working,

moving back and forth

between the house
and the hotel?

I mean, don't--don't you feel
unsettled all the time?

I do, but we
agreed that we would try

to make this transition
as seamless as possible

for Lucas, so--
I know, I know,

but if it's driving us crazy,
he's gonna sense it.

Okay,
what do you suggest?

Well, I think a better idea
would be for me

to move back in here
full-time

and for you to find
a place nearby.

Well, it's your house.

Well, just think about it.

Okay?

All right.

Mommy loves you.

I'll see you tonight,
okay?

Okay, bud.

What's that?
That's coffee.

What's that?
Oh, that's a peach.

Kendra and I have been
together for six years.

We're ready, really ready,
to have children of our own.

And, Evan, I'm guessing
we'll be using your sperm?

It's the neighborly thing
to do.

So, uh, which one of you
is going to carry the baby?

I will.

And we'll use my egg.

That way we can both be
a part of the experience.

Okay. Well, I'll need
to examine you both.

And, uh, I also think
it's a good idea

if the three of you sit down
with one of our therapists.

Why?

Well, Evan isn't just
an anonymous sperm donor.

He's obviously a part
of your lives,

and presumably
will continue to be, right?

But isn't that better?

It's not about better
or worse.

It's about a situation that has
some potential complications.

The three of you are all going
to be involved in the pregnancy

and to some extent,
the child rearing.

I just want you to go into this
knowing what the stress points

are going to be
in an arrangement like this.

We appreciate that,
Dr. Reilly.

We do--

we can handle anything.

Whatever happens,
we'll work it out.

And a therapist will give you
a running start.

Dr. Reilly--

guys, I'm not
trying to make you

jump through hoops here.

I really think this will
help you as parents.

I'm also not asking.

Cleaning supplies
secured under the sink?

Yes, all of the cabinets
in the house are secure.

You know where
the fire detector is?

Yep, right there
above the bed.

Okay, you'll need
to test that monthly.

Change the batteries
once a year.

I have a reminder
set in my calendar.

Also,
I have made sure to, uh,

secure all of the balcony doors
with child-proof locks.

Good. Good.

How do you plan on dealing
with the drowning hazard

the ocean presents?

Oh, uh...

I can't imagine ever letting
that baby out of my arms,

but, uh, if I do,

I will not let her or him
go outside.

I mean, the sun
is not our friend.

I don't know if you know
how many, uh,

cases of skin cancer are
reported each year, but...

Well, the sun is a bit
beyond my purview.

That was a joke, right?

What?

Is there a man living here
you neglected to tell me about?

You sure you don't want me
to carry it?

I got it.

Okay.

Ooh!

What are these again?

I seriously can't believe

you've never heard
of tinkertoys.

I spent,
like, half my childhood

building forts
and castles to play in.

You're gonna love it.

Oh, can we get these, too?

Why do you want to play
with cards?

We could build stuff.

Please, dad.

Maybe next time, okay?

I'll meet you outside, dad.

Can you add a pack of cards
to that, too, please?

So, Evan, how do you
see your role

in this baby's life?

Donate the sperm,
build the crib,

and then I just kind of
want to be the fun uncle--

water fights
and movie nights,

no diapers.

Which is great, because I'll
be home with the baby.

Rosie works, so...

And those roles
are great for now,

but as a baby grows,
things do change.

Problems come up,
arguments happen,

and if Evan disagrees with
any of your parenting choices,

he would,
as the biological father,

have legal standing

unless you
specify otherwise now.

Like in a contract?

Yeah. Well,
in most situations,

a contract
is not a bad idea.

What would it say,

that I don't have any right
to be involved with the baby?

It can say
whatever you want.

It's just a formality.

But that feels so...
Business-like

and this is not
a business decision.

No, but if it's what
people normally do--

we're having a baby, Rose,
not closing a deal.

Yeah, I agree
with Kendra.

It feels impersonal.

R-Rose,

is there something you would
like to say to Evan?

No, not right now.

Come on, Rose.

We'll talk about it later.

Rosie...

Guys, I'm a therapist.

There's very little that I
haven't seen or heard.

And this is not a place
of judgment.

But getting what you want

has to start
with the truth.

So...

We're in love.

Okay.

We're...

All in love.

Whatcha doin'?

Oh, I'm just trying

to maximize my ten minutes
between patients.

I got kinda
jammed up today.

Feel like taking a break
at lunch

for pizza and pins?

Greasy slices,

slippery bowling balls,
my treat.

Well, that sounds like fun,
but I don't know

if my digestive track
could handle it,

plus, uh...
I hate putting on shoes

that a hundred other people
have worn before me, you know--

oh, come on.
It'll be fun.

I'll even buy
the pepto and purell.

Thanks, but, uh...
Maybe some other time.

Hey. I was
just looking for you.

And now you found me.

You busy today?

I'm pretty much
caught up on my charts.

A couple of patients
are coming in--

are you ready
to cut again?

A patient with
an obstructive neurosarcoid

was scheduled
for this afternoon,

but buddle's coming off
an all-nighter,

and I need someone.

Well, I thought I might
assist a few before i--

either you're ready to come
back to the hospital and work

or you're not.

I'm ready.

I'm definitely ready.

Good.

We know it sounds crazy.

I understand being in love.
I'm not judging.

You are.
Everyone judges us.

But we appreciate how hard
you're trying not to.

Okay.

Well, tell me
about yourselves.

The first night was...

It was amazing.

The first night
usually is.

But so was the next morning.

And every morning
after that.

Most mornings.

It--it sounds very easy.

It's not.
We have rules.

Every decision
has to be unanimous.

We have to avoid
the two against one

so no one feels
ganged up on.
Okay.

Y-You are
talking about things

that are in the context
of the relationship.

But there is a world
out there,

the world that you would be
raising your child in.

And that world
is not quite as accepting

about things
that don't appear--

normal?

I come from a home where there
wasn't a lot of love.

There was a lot of...

Commitment--

35 years of marriage--

and a lot of what people
call normal,

but not much love.

Kendra and Rose and me...

There's a lot of love here.

A-A what?

A polyamorous triad.

Three people in a committed,
monogamous relationship.

I can barely keep up
with one partner.

I can't imagine
trying to satisfy two.

There's no way that works.

Every couple, or triad,
is different.

You know,
you can't generalize.

It doesn't matter what they are.
They lied to me.

Well, because their
lifestyle's unconventional,

they're probably used to
being criticized and mocked--

For good reason.

I mean, hey, can we just pause
the moral and ethical debate

and criticize and mock them
for a minute?

It's just weird.

It's weird.

Four boobs, two geegers...

It's not weird.
It's fantastic.

Wow.
Yeah, you know what?

You just brought it
to a whole other level.

Yep.
Life is already so difficult.
Why make it harder?

Yeah, but that's
the same argument

that said that interracial

and same-sex couples
shouldn't have children.

Hey, I was ready to help out
an honest lesbian couple.

So wait.
Is it the dishonesty

or the polyamory
that you take issue with?

The lying.

Okay, well,
separate that out.

These people
are in a tough spot.

Society is not ready
for them.

Oh, are we still talking about
this? Sam is right.

It is just plain weird.

Thank you, baby.

Addison Montgomery.

Really?

Is she...

Uh, yes, yes, I do.
A-Absolutely, I do.

Thank you very much.
Good-bye.

Uh...

That was my lawyer,

and despite the fact that I
misled and slightly fibbed to

the social worker,
she signed off,

and a birth mother
wants to meet me.

Wow.
You know what?

In a lot of places,
a single white woman

living with a single black man
who also happens to be

the ex-husband
of her best friend...

- Oh, my...
- Oh, wow.

Trying to adopt
a child out of wedlock

without the interest
of her boyfriend...
Come on.

Would seem
just plain weird.

Okay, fine.
I take back the weird.

The triad has all my support.

In less than a month,
I could be a mother.

Hey, you feelin' okay?

Yes.

You sure?
You want to talk?

I'm a little nervous

about meeting
the birth mother, you know?

So, yes, I would like
to talk about it, but i'm...

Pretty sure you don't.

Not about that.

Well...

Good luck.

You're great.

And you're gonna do great.

How are you at...

Forgiving?

I mean,
in your personal life.

I know we preach it,

but... can you do it?

Sometimes.

When?

Wh-when the relationship
is worth saving.

We talking about Amelia?

No. We're--we're just
talking about forgiveness.

Oh.

Okay.

Well, uh,
I guess it would depend

on what the offense is.

She crushed me.

Yeah.

And when she was in crisis,
when she was in rehab,

it was easy for me to
put aside my own hurt feelings

and my own reactions,
you know?

It was easy
just to want to save her.

But now, I, uh...

I don't want
to make it harder for her.

Well, just give her time.

Is that what you're doing
with Pete?

Yes.

Is it working?

No.

Dr. Shepherd,
it's good to see you.

We heard
you were on vacation.

Did you go somewhere amazing?

This isn't a tea party.

You all have a surgery
to do.

Dr. Shepherd
needs to concentrate.

You all do.

Less talk. More focus.

Scalpel.

I have one more semester,

then law school.

Yes, please.

Ooh.

Do you think
I'm an awful person

for giving my baby up?

Of course not. I--

oh, please don't humor me.

Please just think about
the question.

Because I'm 20.

I'm not a teenager,

and I have the resources,
you know?

You know,
this isn't necessity.

I'm not giving her up
out of necessity.

I'm giving her up
because...

I don't want
to be a mom at 20.

And I don't want to give her

to anyone who thinks
I'm an awful person.

I had an abortion
when I was in my 30s.

I was already a surgeon.
My career was in place.

And, uh... I certainly
had the resources,

but... I wasn't ready.

So...

I'm not judging you.

Oh, god.

And now I really hope
that you're not judging me.

I'm sorry. I probably
shouldn't have told you that.

Oh, no, no, no.
It's not--i mean,
I-I don't want you to think

that i-i--

I'm not judging you,
Dr. Montgomery.

Wow. That's just...

I've... never met anyone

who just admitted
to an abortion like that.

It's just that no one
ever talks about that stuff.

Certainly not when they're
trying to impress someone.

Oh, not ever.

I mean...

We all just pretend like
that stuff doesn't exist.

You're sort of amazing.

So...

Have you met with any other
potential parents?

Well, there's this family
at my church

that my mom had me meet.

And they were nice...

But kind of boring.

You know, the dad works,
the mom stays home.

They already have
a little boy.

Mm.

You're a fetal surgeon?

Yes, that's right.

That's pretty awesome.

Thank you.

Real estate listings?

Yeah. Violet thinks
I should find my own place.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

How do you feel about that?

I don't know.

I don't want to be
a part-time parent to Lucas--

not being with him every day,
missing...

Wake up, bedtime,
bath time, I...

And even if I do get
a place that's close by,

it still won't be
his house, you know?

Mm-hmm. Maya used to call
my place...

"Her weekend getaway."

Ugh.

It's tough.
You miss a lot.

Kids k*ll you.

One way or another.

You and Addison?

Ugh. We're not even
pretending anymore.

It's like, uh,
I don't know,

one of us
just has to say the words,

make official what we...

Both already know.

Yeah, well,
before you say the words,

just...

Be sure.

In a few months, I could have
a son on that screen.

- Or a daughter.
- Healthy baby.

Gender irrelevant.
Come on, guys.

Rose is right.

Okay, Kendra, I'm all done.

Rose,
you want to hop up here?

What?

No, nothing.
It--it's sweet,

the way you all get along
so well.

Seems like
it would be tricky.

He wants to know
about the sex.

No.

- It's okay.
- Everyone does.

We have one bed--
California king.

That's enough, Kendra.

Dr. Montgomery,
what is it?

I just don't understand
why he would do this?

Because he's 8.
Because he wanted the cards.

Because he's testing you.

I don't know.

Cooper, if a parent comes in

and tells you that
their kid stole something,

what do you say?

I would ask
if there had been

any other
troubling behavior recently.

Has there been with Mason?

No, but--
then what else
do you ask 'em?

If there had been
any problems at home

that the kid
could be reacting to.

That the case with Mason?

I don't think so, no.

So then what?

A kid with no big problems

swipes something from
a toy store, out of the blue.

What do you tell
the parents to do?

It's just...

I've never done this before...

Not with my own kid.

It's different.

So, Rose, I'm afraid

that, uh...

You have a scarred uterus

and ovarian failure
secondary to pelvic t.B.

Tuberculosis?

I'm not sick.

No, you're not. It's,
uh... it's not active.

But if you've spent any time
at all in South America

in the last ten years--

She taught e.S.L.
In Chile after college.

What are you saying?

Unfortunately, Rose's body
is incapable

of producing viable eggs

or carrying a fetus.

I am so sorry, Rosie.

But, um, we can still
have a family, right?

Yes, in fact,

Kendra's tests all came back
perfectly normal.

So if Evan and--and Kendra
were to try to conceive,

they might not
even need I.V.F.

What?

What about me?

Rosie,
you'd be the mom, too.

This would be our child.

No, this would be
your child with Evan.

It's not the same.

Well, i-in my experience,
once the baby shows up--

no, the whole point of this
was to have a baby together

so that we could all be
a part of the experience.

Dr. Reilly is right.

If the three of you
really want a baby,

no matter
where it comes from--

if I can't be a part of this,

we're not doing it.

Rose, you yourself said,

the three of you
could handle anything.

We are handling it.

We're just...

We're just not having
a baby.

I'm saying that,
in a two-party relationship,

both parties have to agree
in order to have the baby.

Well, the same rules apply
in the triad.

All decisions are
supposed to be unanimous.

Well, this one
clearly isn't.

And it's not like
one of them can leave.

I mean, they say
they're a family, right?

Well, families don't always
stay together.

Look, the--the truth is

that Kendra and Rose and Evan
are not that different from us.

They want to stay together,
they want to work it out,

and this is just an obstacle.

Well, for most couples,
having or not having a baby,

it's not an obstacle,
it's a deal breaker.

That's because having a baby
is not rational.

Sam.

What? I'm not saying
it's irrational.

I'm just saying,
it's instinctive.

You know, it's hormonal.
It's biological.

But wanting one--you either
do or you don't.

Look, you gave them a piece
of devastating news.

They need time
to process it.

Hopefully, their relationship
is strong enough to overcome it.

I heard your surgery
yesterday went well.

Like riding a bike.

A rusty, dinged-up bike

that coulda used a little more
air in the tires,

but still...

I know you feel like
you're the first person

to go through all this,

but you're doing great.

Mm.
It does not feel great.

I know.

Just make your meetings,

pray to whatever
you believe in,

do the next indicated thing.

A day at a time.

A minute at a time.

♪ And monuments ♪

♪ and arboretums ♪

♪ when we lived in D.C. ♪

He's moving out?

Yeah, I guess so.

And what about Lucas?

I mean, what, is he gonna

live with Pete
half the time or what?

I don't know.
I don't know anything.

Well, nobody knows anything.
We just pretend to.

Yeah, but I used to be
really good at pretending.

Aw.

Hey, how'd it go
with the birth mother?

Ugh. I had diarrhea
of the mouth.

Oh, no.

But I think she was
okay with it, actually.

I mean, she's really lovely,
you know?

She's smart...

She's driven,
she's... in labor.

What?
Oh, my god.

She's in labor.

Addison.
Yeah.

Did she choose you?
I don't know.

I mean, but she had
somebody page me.

That's a good sign, right?

It's a great sign. Go!

Oh, my god!

Yeah, I should probably
just bite the b*llet

and buy something instead of
getting some dinky apartment

that Lucas hates.

I should get something
with a yard,

room for all his stuff.

Yeah, probably better
for you.

If this is gonna be permanent,

better start
getting used to it.

I know.

Well, sometimes Violet has
a way of framing things.

Addison's the same way.

Women.

It makes you feel almost bad
for triad guy, you know?

He's got two of 'em.

♪ We'll begin ♪

I mean almost bad.

It can't be worth it--
twice the frustration.

You know what I do
to alleviate frustration?

Frusturbation?

Are you 12?
Yes.

g*n range.

Oh, my god. Here we go.
A g*n range?

I'm a deadeye, Sheldon.
I could teach ya.

I prefer
to talk things through.

How's that
working out for you?

I haven't sh*t a g*n
since basic training.

So, uh... I'm in.

You guys want to join?

No, I spent too many years
patching up people

on the wrong end of g*ns.

No, thank you.

Sam?

Never picked up a g*n.
Don't plan on doing it now.

Cooper?

I prefer frusturbation.

♪ Day of rest ♪

That's great.
I need another big push.

Hey. Hi.

Oh, my mom is not here.

She's--she's out of town.

I'm glad you called me.

The baby's... early.

Not too early.
It's fine.

It hurts.

It always hurts.
How's she doing?

The baby's o.P.

What does that mean?

It means the baby's
coming out face up.

It just means it's harder
for you to push her out.

Okay.
Okay?

I'm seeing late decels.

Not progressing. I'm gonna
try to use vacuum assist.

I-I-I don't understand.
I don't und--

the baby just needs
a little bit of help, all right?

We're gonna need you
to push, Melanie, okay?

Mm-hmm.

It isn't working.
She needs to go to the O.R.

The baby's bradycardic.
There's no time.

I've got this.

Remove the vacuum, doctor.
What are you doing?

I'm delivering the baby.

You're done here.

♪♪♪

I need kielland forceps.

It's too risky.

The baby's already been down
for two minutes.

I can have her in the O.R.
and open in three minutes.

Yeah, I can have her out
before you're even

in the scrub room.

I'm not risking brain damage
because you've only

been delivering babies
for three months.

Do you know the complications
from using rotational forceps?

I do know the complications.

I'd be worried
if you were using them.

Okay, Melanie, I'm gonna have to
turn the baby's head around

so that you can
push her out, okay?

It's gonna hurt
when I put the forceps in.

Okay.

Aah!

Good.

All right. That's good.

I'm gonna need you to push

on the next contraction.

Okay.

Okay? Ready?

Oh.
Look at me.

Push.

Good. Good.
There's the head.

Aah!

You got this, Melanie.

She's coming.

Good.

Here she is.

She's perfect, Melanie.

She's perfect.

Ohh.

Hey.

Hey.

Okay, you're a dad.

Among other things.

Yeah, I don't care about
the other things right now.

Mason...

Stole a pack of cards
from the toy store.

Okay. You do see
I'm working here?

Oh, come on, Sam. This is
really important to me.

Okay.

So, uh...
I don't know.

Punish him and move on.

No, I don't--i don't think
it's that simple.

I think... I think maybe I
should stay the good guy.

I mean, I think I should
specifically be the parent

that doesn't punish him.

No, hold--think about it.

Erica's been there
from the beginning.

She already does the discipline.
He expects it.

Okay.

If I could be the person
that Mason could come to

no matter how badly
he screws up,

he could say what happened,
I could help him fix it...

I mean, imagine having that
when you were growing up.

How great
would that have been?

Amazing.
Right?

Yeah. You c--you could totally
be that guy, Coop.

Or, uh, you could be
Mason's dad.

I mean, being a parent,
like, a real parent,

day in, day out,

trying to make sure your kid
turns out okay, it's hard, man.

You gotta say "no" a lot.
You gotta hear "I hate you."

You gotta give up fun times
to--to reinforce values

that you think are important.

It's...

It is the hardest thing
in the world.

So...

I don't know, man.
It's up to you.

I get that she's upset,
but this is...

It's wrong.

She just found out that she
can't be a mom biologically.

I mean, that's gonna take
some time.

I'm sure part of it is
Rose's concern about the baby.

But don't you think
she's also concerned

about what this might do
to the three of you?

In what sense?

Well, that the two of you
might share a bond

that she's not,
that she can't be, a part of.

No, that would never happen.

Ever.

It's happening right now.

You two are here
without her.

But we're trying
to fix it.

I mean, we want...
To fix it.

Okay.

Are you willing
to compromise?

If there was some way
we could reassure Rose,

make her understand that we're
doing this for the three of us.

You're the one
who told me,

this relationship works
because of the rules.

All decisions
have to be unanimous.

No, Amelia started it.
She came on to me.

Aim for the target,
Sheldon.

And then just when I started
feeling something...

Enter Ryan.

Remember to use
your left hand

to steady your right.

And I feel sorry for her.

I mean, she loved him,
and he d*ed.

And I know she feels bad
about humiliating me.

I-I... I don't know. I...
Why can't I forgive her?

Pull the trigger, Sheldon.

♪ ...love me ♪

♪ 'cause i'm-a gonna
love you, too ♪

I haven't sh*t a g*n
in years.

Holy hell, that felt good.

Yep.

sh**t the target,
let it all out there,

'cause I can pretty well
promise you,

Amelia's in no shape

to take care of a single one
of your feelings right now.

I know you love her,
Sheldon.

Love her enough
to leave her alone.

Take aim.

♪ Miss me ♪

♪ you're gonna say
you'll kiss me ♪

♪ you're gonna say
you'll love me ♪

♪ 'cause i'm-a gonna
love you, too ♪

♪ you're gonna say
you'll love me ♪

♪ 'cause i'm-a gonna
love you, too ♪

♪ i'm-a gonna love you, too ♪

♪ i'm-a gonna
love you, too ♪

♪ i'm-a gonna love you, too ♪

Hey.

Morning.

What happened
to your hand?

Ah, I strained it
at the sh**ting range.

The sh**ting range,
really?

It might be
my new hobby.

That...
Sounds kind of fun.

Could I...
Could I go sometime?

Uh, no.

I mean, just, uh...

Not any time really soon.

You understand?

I understand.

There's nothing that can
be done to...

Fix me?

Rose, you--
you aren't broken.

I know it feels that way,

but... there are
so many women

who have come to me,
unable to conceive,

and... yet we still find
a way to make them mothers.

Are you a father?

Yes, I am,
not biologically,

but regardless,
the love I feel--

I don't want to lose them.

What if a baby
changes everything?

If the love is real,

it can withstand anything.

Do you really believe that?

No.

No, I...

I think love
is a powerful force.

It puts up a hell of a fight,
but, uh...

Sometimes life rises up
and wins.

That's what I'm afraid of...

That me being infertile...

That's gonna be
life winning.

So do you think
you can finish early

so we can go to the pier?

Uh, we're not going
to the pier today.

Really?

Really.

I need to talk to you,
so...

I saw you steal
that pack of cards

from the toy store.
But I d--

don't even start to tell me
that you didn't,

because... I saw you.

I want to call my mom.

Just sit down

and you're gonna
listen to me, okay?

Says who?

Says me.
I'm your father.

No.

You're just the guy
who got my mom pregnant.

Okay,
here's what happens next--

tomorrow after school,
I'm gonna pick you up,

I'm gonna take you
to the toy store,

and you're gonna apologize
to the owner.

I am not gonna--

you're gonna apologize
to the owner.

Then I'm gonna take you home.

You're gonna go to your room
and do your homework.

And you're gonna stay in there
till it's time to go to bed,

and it's gonna be like that
for a week.

You think my mom's
gonna go along with this?

I know she will.

But... what about
the weekend?

Are we still gonna go
to the movies?

No, the movies are out.

But... am I even
gonna see you?

Of course.

I am never going away.

Okay?

I want a baby.

Just... not this way.

But I love you guys

so I guess I'll do it.

You two can make our baby,

and I will
just have to trust us.

Thank you, Rose.

Thank you.

No.

I can't do that.

I really want a baby, too,

but the reason we work
is the rules.

We need rules.

We need unanimous
or someone's gonna get hurt,

and we can't have that happen.

So we can use a surrogate

or adopt
or not have a baby at all,

but... given the choice,
I choose you.

I choose the three of us.

This is crazy.
This isn't some little thing.

This is... not trivial.

I want a child...

My child.

Evan...

I love you, both of you,

but...

I'm not sure
I can choose you.

Hi.

Hey.

How are you?

Okay.

I didn't want to hold her,

but then I did, and...

Do you want to hold her?

Yes.

Oh.

Ahh.

Oh.

Oh, hi, little girl.

Hello, baby girl.

Addison.

Yes.

Meeting you...
Has been incredible.

Oh, thank you.

For me, too.

This is hard.

I can't even imagine.

Oh. What?

It's crazy.

I was so sure
you were the perfect fit

to mother my child.

And what you did for me

and the baby...

It was amazing.

You're amazing.

And someday, I want to be
just like you.

But I've been thinking...

You know, when you're here

and you're doing amazing things
for people like me...

Who would be taking care
of her?

No, Melanie,
if you're doubting

what kind of mother
I would be--

i--I'm not.

I'm sure you could be
an incredible mother.

But I look at that baby...

And I think
about the family from my church

and--and how she could just
slide right into it...

With a mom...

And a dad...

And a brother and...

How you doing?

I...

Feel like I want
to crawl out of my skin.

♪♪♪

All day.

Every day.

Cravings?

No, just, uh...

Pain.

♪♪♪

I want to turn back
the clock.

I want...

I want Ryan to be alive

and I want us
to get sober together

and I want...

To have never hurt
the people I love.

I...

Yeah.

I get that.

♪♪♪

I was awful to you.

I was hateful

and awful to you,
Charlotte.

♪♪♪

I...

I don't even know why
you're in here talking to me.

I was hateful and awful
to a lot of people

when I was using.

It's what happens.

I get it.

♪♪♪

Sheldon hates me.

He doesn't hate you.

He loves you.

There's a difference.

Now it's subtle sometimes,
but...

♪♪♪

There's a difference.

♪ Go ahead
and roll up your web ♪

What do I do?

Next indicated action.

♪ The best things in life ♪

Meeting.

♪ To come by ♪

♪ but sometimes
the best things come ♪

♪ from accidents ♪

Do you have a minute
to look at these images?

I think a partial ovarian...

♪ When days are dark, darling ♪

Addison, you okay?

♪ Remember ♪

♪ my love for you ♪

♪ won't go away ♪

You want to talk about it?

♪ I almost lost you ♪

No.

♪ Last September ♪

♪ Oh, and my heart
still has yet ♪

♪ to forgive me ♪

♪ So is it just me? ♪

♪ Am I seeing things? ♪

What are you smiling about?

Today...

I am...

A father.

You did it?

Yeah.

Well, how was it?

Miserable.

For you or for him?

Both.

♪ For you ♪

More me.

I'm very proud
of you, Coop.

♪ And we'd see it through ♪

Like, reward proud?

Something like that?

♪♪♪

Mm.

Oh.

♪ You have a beauty like ♪

♪ no other ♪

Hey.

Hey.
You--you lose your key?

♪ A confidence ♪

Oh, okay.

You don't want to keep it
in case of emergency?

I know
where the hide-a-key is.

♪ If I... ♪

Did you come over here
just to give me these?

♪ Too long ♪

No, I-I miss him.

And I know it's not my night,

but I was wondering if I
could maybe put him to bed.

Uh...

Oh, this is hard.

Yeah.

It's one of the hardest things
I've ever done,

but... no.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

No?

♪♪♪

Really?

I-I mean, look, if this is
about punishing me

for the other morning
because i--

no. No, no, no, it's not.

♪♪♪

I hate these rules, Pete.

I hate living this way,
but you were right.

If--if--if this
is gonna work at all,

then we need some boundaries,

and--and Lucas needs
some consistency.

This is mommy's night.
Daddy's not gonna be here.

That's what we told him.

If we go back from that,
if we blur the lines--

no, you're right.
You're right.

I'm sorry.

♪ ...just seeing things? ♪

I miss him.

♪ Or does the way we breathe ♪

We'll call.
I'll put him on the phone.

And you can see him
in the morning.

Okay.

I can't
lose him, Violet. I can't...

I can't--no matter
what happens between us...

♪ For you ♪

No matter where this winds up,
I need to know that--

I will never

keep you from your son.

Pete, you will always
be his father.

♪ The sun could fade ♪

I promise you.
No matter what.

We just...

We just need some rules...

For him, for us.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

I didn't get the baby.

I'm sorry.

Right.

I know how much
this means to you.

And I'm sorry
for your disappointment.

♪♪♪

I love you.

I love you, too.

♪♪♪

We can't do this anymore.

I know.

So this is it.

Yeah.

This is it.

♪♪♪

I wanted a baby,
and I wanted Sam,

and I got no baby
and no Sam.

How is that fair?

You didn't get
this baby.

That doesn't mean
you get no baby.

How am I supposed
to believe that?

How am I supposed to believe

in anything, ever again?

I mean, how...

Is love

not enough?

You have to face the loss.

You have to deal
with the disappointment.

Don't want to.

♪♪♪