03x28 - The Coolest Heatwave Ever/Mundy, Mundy

[bunniefuu]

[bell rings]

[children cheer]

[pop]

Ah!

[crash]

Ah!

[burp]

[door shuts]

[Grotke] And our current heatwave
is a pointed reminder

that we, too, share mother earth's loss

of her beloved ozone layer.

Ugh! I'm so hot, I think
my brain is boiling over.

Hey, at least we can count
on those old blades

to keep spinning.

Oh, man.

Bummer, and Hank the Janitor is out today

with heat frustration.
Not to worry, though, students.

We still have a most powerful
cooling tool at our disposal.

Whomping-bobula! Central A.C.?

Uh, no, T.J.,
the power of creative visualization.

Yes, the best way to escape
the heat is in your mind.

Close your eyes and picture
a cool place far, far away.

Far away? You mean, like the sun?

Actually, the sun is quite warm.

-How about Death Valley?
-Uh, no.

[bell rings]

Well, out of the proverbial frying pan
and into the fire that is recess.

Remember, students, visualize.

Pictures in my brain.

I hear you, Miss Grotke. Thanks.

Look, we can't fritter away
our god-given recess

because of a little heat.

Yeah, I say we monkey
around on the monkey bars.

Ah! My hands are on fire!

Well, splash some water on it
and get to the nurse, girlie.

[groan]

I haven't seen heat like this since Guam.

Um, perhaps an energizing game of b-ball
will make the time pass more pleasantly.

I'm no sports expert,

but I'd venture to say
that game is going nowhere.

That liquid b-ball reminds me of water,

which reminds me I'm dying of thirst!

Oh, man, that line will take forever.

Well guys, I say we ride
this recess out in the shade.

Bunch of shade hogs!

Come on.

Guys, I've got an idea.

Great call, Vince.

Next time, could you find us
a pole with branches?

I feel cool and refreshed.

What have you got, ice for brains?

-Or a secret water stash, perhaps?
-No, but--

Oh, water, how I love thee.

Let me count the--
Wait a minute.

Look! There's no line!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

This will be most refreshing.

[clanks]

Why, that wasn't refreshing at all.

Oh no! It appears
that with the high volume of use,

the water system has engaged
its a*t*matic shut-off.

But you can turn it back on, right?

I'm afraid only Hank knows how to do that.

Figures he picks
the hottest day of the year

to get heat frustration.

Oh, Mother Nature, are we to cook

like so many ill-fated,
though delicious, hot dogs?

[Butch] Word on the street is

this school's water system as a backup
restart valve.

Somewhere out on the playground.

What are you talking about, Butch?

Way I hear told, it's located
all the way out there.

They say it ain't been engaged
since the Dust Bowl.

If someone switched it on, I bet you would
restart that fountain lickety-split.

That's what we'll do. Not just for us,

but for overheated kids
all over the playground.

We're going to get that water back on.

Sure you will,

if the heat don't get you first.

Cross-referencing Butch's information

with my extensive knowledge
of the school's plumbing system,

I've determined the backup
restart valve to be here.

Crossing the entire playground
will be no picnic, in this time.

So I've incorporated one rest stop
primarily for shade here.

Rest stop? I don't get it. We must have
crossed the playground millions of times.

But never in this heat.

With no water to quench
our inevitable thirst,

every inch could seem like a mile.

It's gonna be tough. Some of us
might not make it.

Everyone sure they want to do this?

-[everyone] Yeah.
-[Vince] I'm with you T.

Let's go, and, people,
I've seen me some desert movies.

Heat like this can play
tricks with your brain,

so let's be careful out there.

Mikey, what's with the hat?

I fashioned my potato chip bags
into a jaunty burnoose.

I feel like Sir T.E. Lawrence
crossing the Arabian desert.

Mikey, it's probably best
not to mention the desert.

We're trying to keep
our minds off the heat.

Want to know what keeps me cool?

Yeah, staying behind Mikey.

He makes more shade than a carport.

That's not exactly what I meant.

Guys, we should probably keep quiet.

You know, to conserve our energy.

Miss Finster, Miss Finster,

I have informa--informa--

Speak up, boy!

Too parched to tattle.

At least one good thing
came out of this heat wave.

[crying]

Now look at that T.J., how long
before we end up like that egg?

We're already overheated.

So, you think you're hot stuff, Lasweat?

Well, who's hotter now?

Lawson, no!

You see? I can get hotter than you

any time I want.

Oh, I don't feel so good.

[Bob] You there, make way for your king.

Need water badly.

Excellent idea, bearers.
It is much cooler down here.

You, travelers, come fan your King.

No can do your Kinship. Our hands
are full at the moment.

We seek the fabled backup water valve.

Hmm, a water valve.

If the royal chalice were refreshed,
I would need less fanning.

Detweiler, I deem your quest worthy.

Find that valve.

Bearers, proceed. Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

Great going, Mikey.

A minute ago, we were just looking
for something,

now we're on a quest.

Right, a royal command.

Standing around
ain't going to get it done.

Uh, I know something that might help.

Yeah! Getting that fountain turned on.

Right. Let's move out.

[sighs]

Better... sort of.

Anyone else getting hotter or woozier?

Not me. Want to know why?

Quiet, Gus. Hang in there, Spinelli.

Our rest stop is just a few yards away.

Forget that, Gretch. Check it out.

The merry-go-round? So what.

No, the valve.

Don't you see it?

It's beautiful.

Spinelli, that's not the valve.

It's the--the...

The best chocoberry sorbet in the world.

Mikey, Spinelli, get ahold of yourselves.

We'd better get them into the shade.

The Ashleys' clubhouse?

This is your idea of a rest stop?

They're never going to let us in.

The Ashleys may be snobs,
but they're not inhuman.

Even they can appreciate
how unhealthy it is

to be out in this scorching sun.

Oh my! well...

Like, look what the cat dragged in,
a sweaty bunch of nobodies.

Give us a break. We're on a quest
from King Bob,

and we need a rest.

Once our bodies and minds are refreshed,

we'll find the back up water valve,
and restart the water fountain.

Ew! Like, why should we care
about the common tap water

when we have the finest
imported mineral waters?

Ah! The mineral water's evaporated!

Now it's just, like, minerals,

and not the good shiny ones.

Ashleys, to the clubhouse.

[air conditioning turns on]

Great rest stop, Gretch.

Don't worry. You don't
need them to stay cool.

Stay cool? What about staying alive?

No water? No shade?

We can just forget
about making it to that valve.

How will we explain this
to his Royal Bobness?

We wouldn't have to worry
if you hadn't blabbed to him.

We might never have even
come across King Bob

if Gretchen didn't make us
follow that map.

[arguing]

Quiet!

I can't concentrate on my cooler place.

Say what?

I'm trying to focus on the time

me and my dad were in The Alps.

See, this crazy thing happened.
There was this guy--

Well, maybe this will explain it better.
Here.

"Boy daredevil saves global economy."

Hey, Gus, this boy daredevil
looks almost like you.

It is me, only younger.

See, there was this bad guy
who had this plot

to overthrow world currency markets,
or something like that.

Currency markets affect everything

from exchange rates
to school lunch prices.

All I know is he was bad and we were good.

It was a cold day at , feet--

Coldest day I'd ever seen.

Ha ha ha!

You'll never catch me.

I'm going to overthrow
world currency markets,

or something like that.

Not on my swiss watch.

But, Dad, what about my ski lesson?

We learn by doing, son. Follow me.

Yes, Sir! Hang on, Hoodlum.

[barks]

[barks]

Dad, frogmen!

Stay low, son.

Ha ha!

[Mr. Mean] Lost them already,

but just in case...

Soon they'll all pay
for ignoring my economic theories.

What the--

It's over, Desilvo.

You could have been a wonderful banker,
but you chose a life of crime.

Son, let's close his account.

Eat slush, Mr. Mean.

No!

[Gus' Father] Good work, Hoodlum.

And, son, congratulations.

You've saved global currency markets
and mastered moguls and all before chow.

[barks]

You said it, Hoodlum.

[laughing]

So, anyway, that's what
I've been thinking about all this time.

What an amazing sto--
Oh!

You OK, Gretch?

Yes, I appear to have tripped
on a protruding pipe of some sort.

Eureka!

It's the backup valve.

What? We made it? But how?

Apparently, we made it
across the last part

of the playground without even thinking.

Gus, your tale of derring-do
was a magic carpet that transported us

to our appointed destination.

Wait a sec. You mean all Grotke's
gobbledygook

about visualizing and junk really works?

It must. I've got chills.

Yeah, I guess we should have
paid attention to you

a lot sooner, Gus. Sorry, buddy.

Well, we came all this way,
let's fire her up.

Gus, I think you should do the honors.

Did it work?

[Spinelli] Did it ever!

Whomping bobula! Dig that crazy water!

[laughing]

[laughing]

[cheering]

Oh, boy. Mundy and his cronies

are charging kids to play
in the cheese box again.

Man, those no-good mokes
will never change.

Sorry, punk. You want to pass,
you've got to pay.

But all's I have is my lunch money.

You like the cheese box, don't you?

I love the cheese box.

Heck, everybody loves the cheese box.

Then pay up or move along.

Yeah, sign says "tole booth".

That means you got to do
what we tole you. Now gives.

[laughing]

Well, I whiffed again. You're up, Vince.

Save my seat. I'll be back
after I circle the bases.

-Man, Vince sure called it.
-A thing of beauty.

The ball is going to hit her!

Mommy!

Whew. You saved me, bad boy man.

Who, me? Yeah, I guess I did.

Huh?

Drop the ball, Mundy, and keep walking.
We got to get you out of here

before someone realizes
you actually did something nice.

Whomping bobula!
Did you see what I just saw?

Mundy just did something nice.

What'd that rat Mundy do?

He just saved a kindergartner
from being hit by a ball.

-What?
-He's practically a hero.

-Did you hear about Mundy?
-He's a hero.

[excited chattering]

Sorry, guys. I don't know
what came over me, saving that brat.

You didn't get caught,
so don't worry about it.

[girls giggling]

What are you birds looking at?

Just the kindest boy on the playground.

Aw!

Kind? This look kind to you?

Gee, that sort of feels good.

Yeah, kind of refreshing on a hot day.

Refreshing? Don't you girlies get it?

I'm bad. B-A-D-E--bad.

Oh. And we're really bad, too.

[giggling]

What's going on around here, Skeens?

I don't know, Mundy.
Seems kids ain't thinking

you're so mean anymore.

-[kid] There's that saintly boy now!
-What the--

[cheering]

Ah!

Skeens, make this stop, fast!

Make it stop?

Looks like a pretty big job.

We're going to need help.

What if we got help?

But who to get? I got it!

No, I don't.

OK, now I do.

All's we got to do is find the bigmouths

that blabbed about this
in the first place.

Here's to us, who helped rehabilitate

-a naughty student's bad reputation.
-[everyone] To us!

Oh, to do a good deed feels good indeed.

Hey, Detweiler and Detweiler's friends,

we heard you been
saying stuff about Mundy.

Nice stuff.

We sure have, and if you've come

to turn into good guys
like your buddy Mundy,

then pull up a chair and join us.

We'd be happy to help you, too.

-Say--
-Not so fast, Sleepy.

Look, we don't want people
to think we're good kids,

and Mundy don't want people
thinking he's good neither.

It's ruining his reputation.

So since you guys spilled on Mundy,

-You guys got to make it stop.
-Or else.

Or else what?

You like your shiny bicycles, don't you?

I love my bicycle. I call him Pegasus

because he flies down the street
like a mythological creature.

Yeah. It'd be a real shame
to see something bad happen

to piggy-sus, you know,
like, say, a flat tire.

You're threatening our bicycles.

Yep. Now, you get our good friend Mundy's
reputation back as the crummy,

rotten kid he really is, or else.

We heard you've been
saying stuff about Mundy.

Helping a kid keep a bad rep?

That's not our usual line of work, is it?

What choice have we got?

Skeens' threats seemed awfully serious.

How are we supposed to get

Mundy's crummy reputation back anyway?

Guess what guys? I think I've got this
all figured out.

-Gus, how do you feel?
-Fine.

No, you don't.

Medic! Oh, ow! Medic!

[concerned chattering]

Hark, little one.
Who hath done this to you?

'twas Mundy, I mean, Mundy did it.

That you, mama? [coughs]

This is horrible.

Like, totally tragic.

-Like, you got what's coming to you.
-[both] Huh?

Yeah, Gus. You must have
done something très irritating

to make Mundy this mad.

Look, there's poor Mundy now.

Oh, man.

[cheering]

Now I'm really going to hurt you.

Ah!

Yo, Gus! You're not really hurt!

Just run!

Well, that didn't work.

You OK, Mundy?

We saw what Gus made you do to him.

Yeah. How's your knuckles, nice man?

Nice? You think I'm nice?

Let me show you nice.

How's that for nice?

That bag was tough to open.
Thanks, Connie.

You're welcome.
Hey, nobody calls me Connie.

You come back here,
you little chip-eating freak.

Top of the morning, Mundy.
We have something for you.

Don't you people get it?

I don't want nothing from nobody.

It's a gift.

By nothing, I didn't mean gifts.

Here it is, your golden shovel.

Say, this could do some decent damage
to other kids' bikes.

Ha ha. Always a joker.

That shovel's to help
with the groundbreaking

for this.

Voilà, the conrad Mundy memorial statue.

The Ashley art league
has commissioned arty kid

to build it out of frozen fuego sticks.

Isn't this everything
a good kid like yourself

could ever dream of?

Now smile.

[camera flash]

Man, getting Mundy's rep back
is tougher than I thought.

We may as well kiss
our kickstands goodbye.

Guys, we aren't kissing goodbye
to nothing.

Skeens and them wouldn't have the guts
to do anything to our bikes.

Uh, I was told to give you this.

-Oh, no!
-What is it, Mikey?

It's a tassel from the handlebar
of my dear Pegasus.

Skeens.

I guess those boys are serious.

Time for plan "B".

All right, Skeens,
we've got a foolproof plan.

But for it to work,
we're going to need to hear

all you know about your pal Mundy.

That means spilling the beans,

the whole beans,
and nothing but the beans.

-I don't know.
-It's the only way

we're going to get his rep back.

-You ready, Gretch?
-Roger Rilco.

OK, Skeens, think back

all the way to first grade.

"Mundy greases monkey bars.

Good times slip away."

"Mundy pops foursquare balls.
Kids deflated."

Oh, man. If reading about
all the crummy stuff that Mundy did

doesn't get his bad rep back,
nothing will.

[everyone agreeing]

But our conrad would never do this.

Yeah, he's one of the most beloved
children on the playground.

The kid's a saint!

He's an institution.

Whoever printed this
ain't got no character.

-And we know who done it.
-Them guys.

How in the hay did they know it was us?

Well, how do you expect people to trust
news they get from an anonymous source?

I took the liberty of adding my byline
as editor-in-chief.

Get them!

Guys, run!

[screaming]

Phew.

You people got it all wrong.

I don't want to be liked.
I don't want to be liked!

Mr. Mundy, I have something for you.

What is it now?

"You're invited."

Hey, is this some kind of invitation?

Yes. I hope you can make it.

No one ever gave me one of these before.

Imagine that.

Yeah, imagine that.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't T.J.
and his do-gooder brigade.

Didn't do too good this time, did you?

Uh, what you got there, boys?

Bike-painting paint.
Go ahead, Sleeps, paint her up.

-No, not Pegasus!
-Wait!

Forget it, Detweiler. You had your chance.

Just listen a second, Skeens.
We made the mistake

of telling kids that Mundy does bad things

when they've really got to see it
for themselves.

This some kind of trick?

No. This is on the level.

What would you think if we could get Mundy
to show everybody just how bad he is?

OK. Your bikes get one more chance.

Come on, everybody!

Conrad Mundy is putting on
a show at the cheese box.

-A show with Mundy?
-Will there be puppets?

Eh, don't know,

but I do know it's sure to be
a heartwarming display.

OK, Mundy, listen up quick
'cause we haven't got much time.

Here's the plan.

You, "A", take the bat, which is "B",

and smack the cheese box, "C",
until it crumbles to powder.

As you can see, I've marked
the major stress points here,

here, and here.

Don't know why everybody loves
that stinking cheese box.

It ain't made of no cheese.

Yeah, kids are crazy,

but a couple of swings
of that bat, and boom--

Instant lousy reputation
for you, my friend.

Good idea, man. Thanks a jillion.

It's showtime.

[cheering]

Don't be cheering me.

You should be crying
for your precious cheese box.

What you doing to Mr. Cheese box, Mundy?

Maybe he's going to play a song on it.

Yeah. Wonder if he knows
anything by Dog's pajamas.

Nah, you nincompoops.

He's going to smash the thing
to kingdom come.

A nice boy like Connie
would never do that.

Watch and learn.

OK, cheese box,
let's get ready to crumble.

[all gasp]

I just can't do it.

[murmuring]

OK, show's over. Move along.

Like, that was an utterly
cutting-edge performance.

Très Moderne.

What are you, Mundy, bonkers?

You're throwing away
your whole reputation.

Hey, I guess I'm just
not as bad as I thought.

Oh, man.

So when are you going
to bash the cheese box, man?

You called it right, Teej.

How'd you know Mundy wouldn't really
bash the cheese box to bits?

Just playing a hunch, Spinelli.

When I saw the smile
that birthday invitation

put on Mundy's face, I just knew

there was a good kid
inside there somewhere.

Listen, guys, I appreciate you

trying to get my rep back,
but from now on,

I'm going to take a swing at being good.

Glad to hear it, Mundy.

Yeah, that sounds good.

Ah!

So what was that?

Hey, I ain't said I was
going to be perfect.