03x26 - A Rugrats Passover

[bunniefuu]

[ Gasps]

Charlotte:
...almost as good as valium.

The only reason
I'm not at this meeting

Is that it's passover,
and i...

Passover, your highness,
it's a jewish holiday.

It's hard to explain.

I guess
it's about freedom.

Oh, no, your highness,
that's not a dig at monarchy--

How many times
do I have tell you?

Oh, no, your highness,
not you.

My daughter--

[ Dial tone]

Great, I've insulted
the sultan of brunei.

Angelica, what
are you doing?

Making crumbs. Want some?

I told you

Not to touch that food

Until we get
to boris and minka's.

Why do we have to
go there, anyway?

They're tommy's
grandparents,
not mine.

Angelica, maybe
you'll have fun.

Passover's
a meaningful holiday.

A holiday? Are there presents?

Well, no.

Passover is about

Something much more
important-- freedom.

Freedom?

Like doing
whatever you want

And no one tells you not to?

Well, sort of.

I'm free, I'm free!

[ Sighs]

Deed, are you sure

This whole ceremony's
really necessary?

It's so boring.

Passover isn't boring.

It's very meaningful.

Meaningful?
But there's no presents.

Stu, the passover seder

Is when jewish families
come together

And retell
their people's history.

We've been doing it
thousands of years.

Sounds boring to me.

Minka:
since when is spotty old glasses
a part of jewish tradition?

These happen to be
father's wine glasses.

They came all the way
from smolensk.

My mother's wine glasses
came from vilnius

And they don't got
spots all over.

Minka, it's family tradition.

We're using
my father's wine glasses

And that's final.

Why do we always do things
your way, mr. Bigshot?

Because my way is right,
that's why.

Vey!

Do the seder my way

Or I wash my hands of it.

Better you should wash
your father's

Spotty glassware.

That's it!

Mommy, can I
have a cookie?

Sorry, on passover, you can't
eat anything with bread.

But there's no bread in cookies.

Hello, angelica.

Hey, everyone, what's...

Oh, didi, it's a terrible thing.
Your papa ran away from me.

Ran away?

Where to, minka?

Who knows?

We had
a little fight

And then he just
left in a huff.

Don't worry, mom.

Everything's going
to be just fine.

[ Chuckling]

Looks like the seder is off.

The seder is not off.

Mother, we'll just
go ahead with the seder.

When dad decides to come back,
he can join us.

Uh-huh, yes,
jonathan, I know.

Mommy, play with me?

Not now, honey, I'm
salvaging a deal.

Jonathan, his highness and I

Had a misunderstanding
on the phone.

He's not taking my calls.

Find him and grovel shamelessly.

Too bad about your father, didi.

Nobody grinds

Gefilte fish
like boris.

Boris!

Stu! Don't mention
my father's name.

Can't you see how
it upsets my mother?

Mrs. Grandpa minka, ma'am

Do you have any toys
to play with?

Not now, sweetheart.

Maybe someone else has some--
mr. Grandpa boris?

Boris?

[ Wailing]

Hi, everyone,
thanks for having us.

I dropped chuckie
in the playpen with tommy.

Hope that's okay.

Hey, where's boris?

[ Resumes sobbing]

My father won't be joining us--

Minor family disagreement.

Oh, that's too bad.

No one leads a seder
like he does.

Anyway, you were
very nice to invite us.

We're not jewish,
you know.

Actually, we're
not really anything.

Boy, tommy, all your
grandpa and grandma have

Is old people toys.

They got better toys,
chuckie.

Only they're all the way
upstairs in the annict.

We'll just bust out
of here and--

Uh-oh.

What's wrong, tommy?

I left my screwdriver
in my other diaper.

Now how
will we get out?

I'll let you out.

Wow, why are you
so nice to us?

Don't you know?

Passover's
about freedom.

Besides, there's
toys in it for me.

Jonathan, the seder's
about to start

So I won't be available
by phone for a couple hours.

Now, if his highness
accepts our bid

Call my beeper, then send the
signed contract to my car fax.

Let's get started.

Wherever boris is,
we can't wait.

Well, then, stu

Looks like
you're leading the seder.

I can't lead a seder.

Stu, be a man
and stop complaining.

Drew, where's angelica?

I don't know,
off playing somewhere.

This place
is scary, tommy.

It's all
in your mind.

My mind
is a pretty scary place.

Hey!

Don't be afraid,
kinderlach

It's just me, grandpa boris.

I thought
you ran away.

Ran away?

No, I felt bad
about yelling

So I came to get
her wine glasses

And got locked in.

That door won't open
from the inside.

Let's see.

Don't close the...

Door.

It's stuck, all right.

Ach.

Don't worry

You're not missing anything.

This passover's
a really dumb holiday.

A dumb holiday?

Angelica, passover is the
greatest holiday of the year.

Then how come we don't get
presents or cookies?

Cookies, schmookies--
you know the story of passover?

There's a story?

[ Woodenly]:
this green vegetable--
what does it mean?

Stu, there's no point
in the seder

If you're not trying.

I'm reading
exactly what it says.

This is an important ceremony.

Try to read
with emotion, all right?

Folks, I better
check on the kids.

Oh, no, not again!

Boris:
many thousands of years ago

There lived a people
called egyptians.

They were powerful and built
beautiful cities and buildings.

Uh-huh.

There also lived in egypt

The jewish people, the hebrews.

At first,
they lived happily together.

You said this was exciting.

It gets better.

The egyptian pharaoh...

What?

He was kind of like a...
A king.

Hmm...

Pharaoh decided
that all the hebrews

Had to be slaves
of the egyptians.

He made them pull stones

And work in the hot sun,
and do whatever else he wanted.

Wow! Could this king
be a queen instead?

Sure, why not?

It was foretold
that a leader

Of the hebrews would rise up
and overthrow the pharaoh.

Uh-oh.

Pharaoh was worried

So he told the hebrews
to throw all their boy babies

In the nile river.

Cool!

It was pretty scary

Let me tell you.

One sl*ve woman
decided to save her baby

By putting him in a basket
and sending him down the river.

But just then

The pharaoh was floating by
on the royal barge.

Ah, this is the life.

More wind, slaves.

Both:
anything you say,
your royal pharaohness.

Then pharaoh saw something
in the bulrushes.

What's in the bulrushes?

Slaves, paddle me over there.

Hi, I'm moses.

I'm pharaoh.

Where you from, moses?

Uh, up the river, I guess.

Come on, I'll show you around.

So pharaoh took moses
to the royal palace.

And showed to him
all the riches of the kingdom.

Neat.
All mine.

Take a look at that.

Wow.

Pretty good likeness

Wouldn't you say?

Now, come on, I'll show
you my latest project.

Well, that's it, all finished.

This will be
my masterpiece.

It's a pyramid.

[ Gasps]:
chuckie, what
have you done?

What's wrong, pharaoh?

I built it just like you said.

Oops.

And this is my throne room.

Wow!

Come on in.

Wow, an ancient egyptian
reptar bar.

Now, this is what
I call civilization.

I've been looking for a partner
to help me run this place.

I think
you might be just the guy.

Really?

Angelica:
so, moses became
pharaoh's best pal

Even though he was a hebrew?

Yes, at first.

But pharaoh didn't know
moses was a hebrew.

He thought...

Chuckie, tommy?

Boris?

Don't close the...

Door.door.

Oh! It's locked.

Bingo. Now you're stuck, too,
so have a seat.

I'm telling
the story of passover.

We were getting
to the good part.

Where were we?

Pharaoh made moses his helper.

One day,
moses was watching the hebrews

As they built
a new city for pharaoh.

Slacker!

Now look what you did, lillian.

You did it, phillip.

Quiet, you guys, you want us all
to get in trouble?

[ Gasps] uh-oh.

What are you doing?

We're just pushing blocks
around, mr. Egyptian, sir.

Why aren't you having fun
with pharaoh?

Having fun with pharaoh?

We can't, we're babies.

Phil:
babies work all the time.

We get one bottle
a day.

We can't play or even go potty
unless pharaoh says so.

But pharaoh lets me
do what I want and I'm a baby.

Don't do that!

If they realize you're a baby

You'll get it.

Get back to work.

You can't treat
babies like that.

Oh, yeah?

Stop it.

I said, stop it!

Oh!

You-- you're a baby!

I'm telling pharaoh.

Uh-oh, you're going
to be in trouble now.

When that kid tells
pharaoh you're a baby

She's going to be mad.

But pharaoh's my friend.

She wouldn't stop liking me
just because I'm a baby.

I don't think
you really know pharaoh.

Moses, I think
you better get out of here.

Moses didn't know
what he was getting into.

What was he getting into?

Big trouble.

This bitter herb
we eat...

Bitter herb?

Don't you mean "erb"?

I say "herb."

It's definitely "erb."

You sure?

It's not important.

Keep reading.

This bitter...
Deed, people do say herb.

Excuse me, I'm going to check
on angelica.

What happened
after moses ran away?

Well, he lived
in the desert

And he became a shepherd.

Eventually he forgot
about egypt and the pharaoh.

One day he was walking along

And he saw a burning bush,
and out of the bush

Came a voice.

What'd it say?

It told moses

That he had
to return to egypt

And demand that pharaoh
stop making his people slaves.

The ambassadors of
the kingdom of ethiopia.

Hail, pharaoh.

Cupcakes to acknowledge
your greatness.

Excellent.

The ambassadors of
the celestial realm of china.

We bring fortune cookies,
your wonderfulness.

Not bad, not bad at all.

The ambassadors of cyrus
the great, emperor of persia.

We bring you rock star cynthia

Complete with sequined outfits
and revolving stage.

And they said this holiday
didn't have presents.

Um, moses of the hebrews.

Moses!

What's he doing here?

Let me guess--
you came to beg for forgiveness.

Nope, I came to tell you
to let my babies go.

Are you out of your
bald-headed mind?

Listen to you?

I'm pharaoh of all egypt
and you're just a baby.

Let us go,
or something bad will happen.

What's the baby going to do?

Watch this!

[ Rattling]

Snake!

So, how about it?

Not so fast.

That's just a dumb trick.

I can do magic, too.

Have them removed.

Pharaoh, if you don't
let my babies go

Things are going
to get really bad.

Go ahead, make my day.

And so moses let loose
on egypt the horrible plagues.

The plague of frogs...

The plague of lice...

[ Whimpering]

The plague of darkness...

Ow! Ay! Oof!

[ Crashing]

The plague of wild beasts...

The plague of locusts.

Get me moses.

[ Elephant trumpets]

Pharaoh angelica:
okay, moses, you win.

Remove the plagues
and your babies can go.

You got to promise.

I promise, I promise.

Now take your stupid babies
and get out.

Wow, so what happened next?

Well, you see...

Boris, chaz,
what's going on here?

Don't close the...

Door.door.
Door.

Let me guess-- we're locked in.

Come on, tell the rest
of the story.

All right.

The hebrews were preparing
to leave egypt once and for all.

Attention, the pharaoh
has an important notice.

[ Clearing throat]

The pharaoh's changed her mind.

The babies have to stay.

Okay, back to work, slaves.

That's no fair! She promised.

What can I tell you?
She's the pharaoh.

I knew it.

I knew it, I knew it,
I knew it.

Don't worry,
we're not giving up.

[ Laughing]

I wish I could have seen
those babies' faces

When you told them
they couldn't go.

Boy, I love being pharaoh.

[ Loud banging]

You again?

What is it?

You promised we could leave.

I changed my mind.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, if you don't

Let my babies go
by tomorrow night

Something really,
reallybad's going to happen

Worser than everything else.

What happened,
was it that bad?

Oy, was it bad...

Mommy!

So this is where everyone went.

Don't close the...

All:
door.

Chaz:
it doesn't open

From the inside.

Grandpa boris is telling
a great story.

Is there a fax machine here?

Since pharaoh had once again
refused to free the hebrews

Moses brought on
one final plague

More terrible
than all the others.

He announced that the firstborn
of the every egyptian household

Would be taken away.

Those babies don't scare me.

Taking away the firstborn.

Big deal.

Hey, wait a minute.

[ Phone rings]

Hello, pickles
residence.

Daddy, it's me, pharaoh.

Oh, hello, sweetheart.
How's egypt?

Daddy, can I
ask you a question?

Of course, pharaoh,
honey, anything.

You didn't by any chance
have any other kids before me?

Of course not, my sphinx.

You're our first and only.

I see.
Thank you, daddy.

I think I'm in trouble.

Now, listen, guys.

Tonight, a plague will
hit every egyptian house

And take away
their firstborn child.

What about phil?

He's firstborn.

No, you're
the firstborn, lillian.

No, you.

You!
You!

Guys!

Don't worry,
all's us babies got to do

Is put a red mark
on our doors.

When they come for firstborns

Our houses will be
passed over.

Must be why
they call this passover.

Hey, moses

Your doorway had
a big red smudge on it.

But I cleaned it up.

[ Sighs]

I ain't scared of that
firstborn junk, cynthia.

No one's taking me anywhere.

Nope, I'm not worried one bit.

[ Gasps]

[ Loud banging]

Who is it?

Is anyone there?

It's them, cynthia.

They're here to take me away.

[ Panting]

[ Yelps]

[ Grunting]

[ Panting]

I hope this last plague works,
moses, I really do.

Ah!

Pharaoh!

Okay, you can go.

Call off this
firstborn thing.

I don't know.

Last time we made a deal

You changed your mind.

That was just a joke.

You could take a joke,
right, moses?

Now, call off
this firstborn thing

And I'll let you
and all your baby friends go.

Pharaoh, it's a deal.

So they set out
with all their possessions

And began to march out of egypt.

Chuckie, I'm hungry.

How about some
of that bread you baked?

Chuckie, look at
this bread.

It's flat.

But I followed
the recipe exactly.

What could have
gone wrong?

You didn't
forget to put yeast

In the dough, did you?

Oops.

Now all's we have to eat

Is this flat bread.

Hey, look on the bright side.

We just invented matza.

So that's why
we eat matza.

And that's why
I can't have cookies.

Exactly!

This matza,
what is its meaning?

[ Clearing throat]

What is it now?

You just read that part, stu.

Look, I can't lead a seder.

I'm not boris.

Boris?

Stu, now you made
my mother cry.
[ Crying]

I'm sorry, minka.

It's just...

Hey, where'd everybody go?

So, the hebrews packed up
and fled egypt.

But meanwhile, pharaoh
was having second thoughts.

Bring me
some reptar cereal.

Uh, miss pharaoh

Ma'am, we're all out.

Out?! How can we be
out of reptar cereal?

Well, the sl*ve baby

Who's supposed to get
the cereal every morning

Was set free.

Well, would you please tell me

What moron set free
the reptar cereal sl*ve?

Uh, you did.

Oh, yeah. Well, forget him.

I'll have a glass
of goat's milk.

Um, you let the milk sl*ve
go free, too.

Okay, in that case,
I'll just have a long, hot bath.

I threw out the baby
with the bath water, too?

That's it! Get my chariot!

We're going after those babies.

Look, moses,
in front of us.

Phil:
the ocean.

Great, all this way
for a dead end.

Now we got to
turn around.

[ Gasps]

Pharaoh!

I've got you now,
babies!

Do something quick,
moses.

Come on, moses.

Er, um...

There you are.

[ All talking at once]

[ Yells]:
quiet!

I want to hear
the end of the story.

Sit down, everybody.

Now, the hebrews were
at the edge of the red sea

The ocean in front of them,
and pharaoh's army behind.

Moses had to do something.

He was running out of time.

I hope this works.

[ Cheering]

Wow, now I've seen everything.

Get the lead out!

Heh-heh,
this is going to be good.

[ Screams]

[ Cheering]

Chuckie:
you're a hero,
moses.

You led the babies to freedom.

Great, cynthia.

Another fine mess
you've gotten us into.

Hey!

So, every year at passover

We have a ceremony called
a seder to celebrate moses

Leading the hebrews
out of egypt to freedom.

Wow, what a neat holiday.

I feel bad for pharaoh, though.

Shall we head downstairs
and finish the seder?

Finish the seder?

I just told the entire story
of passover.

I say we eat.

Minka makes
the best matza ball soup

This side of minsk.

Boris, you're making me flush.

[ Wind gusts]

What do we
do now?

Have a seat, I'll tell
another passover story.

About the hebrews
wandering the desert

Before reaching
the promised land?

No, no, no, no.

About how my uncle simon
and aunt riva met

At the seder
of pincus the tailor.

This was back in the shtetl
in smolensk-- oy, was it cold!

Anyway, uncle simon
wasn't even supposed to be there

But his wagon wheel broke
on a cobblestone

And he had to stay the night.

Now aunt riva was...