01x20 - Arnold's Christmas

[bunniefuu]

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(KIDS CHEERING)

Almost Christmas.

I love the way
the city's transformed
by all the decorations.

What do you most love
about Christmas, Helga?

(CHUCKLES)
Are you kidding?

The presents!
I'm going to make
a haul this year.

But Helga, Christmas is
about giving and sharing,

family and friends,
holiday spirit.

Oh, come off
your high horse, sister.

Christmas is about presents.

It's about getting as much
stuff as you can possibly get.

It's about money and flash.

It's about shopping
like a barbarian.

It's about getting yours
before the other guy gets his.

It's about dropping hints,
making lists,
Christmas is about...

(VOICE ECHOING)

Snowboots.

(VOICE ECHOING)

Nancy Spumoni
signature snowboots.

Imported leather, bold emboss,

hand-riveted,
zigzag spread,
steel toes.

I've got to have 'em.

I've just got to have 'em.

You and every other girl
in the city, Helga.

The stores are
practically sold out.

There just aren't enough
for everybody.

I'll get my boots,
Rhonda Lloyd.

I've been dropping hints
to my parents for weeks,

and they better
not blow it

or I'll show them
some holiday spirit.

So what did you
get your Dad?

Nice plaid tie,
not too loud.

That's nice.
What did you
get Jamie O.?

A tie. Red and blue.

That's good.
What did you
get Timberly?

A tie with little
pink things on it.

Gerald, you can't get
Timberly a tie for Christmas.

She's a little
four-year-old girl

What's she gonna
wear a tie for?

Formal occasions.

ARNOLD: You can't just
give everybody a tie
for Christmas.

GERALD: Why not?
Because Christmas is special.

It's about showing the people
you're close to that
you really care about them.

When you give
somebody a present,
it should be unique.

Well, maybe you're right.

Maybe I'll give my grandpa
the tie I got for Timberly.

And I get a toy or something.

Now you're getting
the Christmas spirit.
Well, see ya.

Where ya going?

I gotta go take
your present back.

See you, Gerald.

Arnold, what a goof.
What a sap.

What a holiday fool.

How I revile
his very existence.

And yet, I love him.

His awkward gait,

his half-lidded gaze,
his brave,

his misguided concern
for those less fortunate.

I must find the perfect
gift for my beloved.

Something big and flashy.

Something that will impress
him and make him pine for me.

The way that I pine for him.

(WIND HOWLING)

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

So that's all of us.

It's time to pick
your Secret Santa.

Go ahead, everybody

Pick a random name
from the bowl.

(WHISPERING)
Don't tell anyone,
but I got Oskar.

I got Oskar, too.

So did I.

(LAUGHS)
What a coincidence!

Kokoshka, you bum.

You wrote your name
on all the slips.

Okay, okay. It was a joke.

A Christmas joke, eh?

A yuletide prankster, eh?

Okay, we'll start over.

Pookie, how about
a little Christmas music.

(PLAYING PIANO)

ARNOLD: (WHISPERS)
Mr. Hyunh.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Arnold, it's simple.
Just get him a tie.

Gerald, that's what
everybody gets

when they don't know
what to get somebody.

Exactly my point.
I don't know.

He always seems so sad
this time of year.

I gotta think
of something special.

Something that would
cheer him up.

Well, if you really wanna
find out what the guy wants,

why don't you just go
and talk to him.

Yeah, I'll just go
talk to him.

Gather some clues.
Figure out what he wants.

What a great plan, Gerald!

Is there something special

you want to talk
with me about, Arnold?

No, no.

I just wanted to say
hello and, um...

...just see how you're doing.

Oh, I'm fine.
Thank you.

I wish I had some
candy to offer you.

I never have any
candy around here.

Oh, do you like
candy, Mr. Hyunh?

No, no, no. Candy
is bad for my stomach.

Sure has been cold lately.

Yes, very cold.
Make me shiver.

I bet you could probably
use a nice, warm sweater.

No, I got
plenty of sweater.

See, red,
blue, green,

wool, cotton.

Plenty of sweater.
You want one?

No thanks.

So, it's almost
Christmas time.
Yes.

This time of year

always make me remember.

Remember what?

It was a long time ago,
Arnold.

A very complicated story.

I'd like to hear it.
Please, tell me.

HYUNH: Many years ago,

I lived in another country.

Far away.

I was a young man

with a family.

A beautiful baby girl.

I called her Mai.

I was the luckiest man
in the world.

At night, I used to dream
about our future together,

to watch Mai grow up
and go to school.

To see her be happy.

But there was trouble
in my country.
(HELICOPTER HOVERING)

There was a w*r in the north.

And every day,

the fighting was coming
closer and closer.

I know this would
not be a good place
for my child to grow up.

I could not keep her safe.

Maybe not even have enough
food for her to eat.

So I decided,
we must try to get out.

We must try
to find a better life,

Everyone was trying
to get out.

Everywhere
there was confusion.

Somehow, I got through.

The only way out of the city
was by helicopter.

There were too many people.

I begged the soldier,

"Please, please take us.

"Help us find a new life."

But he could not.

He said, "There was
only room for one of us."

Then, I had to make the most

difficult decision of my life.

I knew I had to do
the best thing for Mai.

I knew if I gave
Mai to the soldier,

he would take care of her.

(INAUDIBLE)
He would find a home for her.

And then, as soon as I could,
I would get out of the country

and find her again.

As the helicopter left,

the soldier called out
the name of a city.

This city.

He said
he would bring her here.

You had to give her
to the soldier.

You were saving
her life.

Yes.

You've never seen her since?

No, it took me years

until I could finally
get out of the country.

That's why
I came to this city.

I believe she's here,
somewhere.

But I've not been
able to find her.

Sometimes, it is so difficult.

I almost give up hope.

But I never stopped
thinking about her.

I'll never stop trying.

I would give anything
to see her again.

To know that she is happy.

You're crazy, Arnold,
really crazy.
(HORN HONKING)

You want to hang out
with that monkey man guy.

That's how crazy you are.

What's so crazy about it?

Mr. Hyunh only wants
one thing,

and that's to see
his daughter.

I know it's a long sh*t,

but if I could find her
and bring them together,

it could be the best Christmas
gift I could give Mr. Hyunh.

Arnold, it's the day
before Christmas.

There's millions
of people in the city.

It would take
a miracle to find her.

Maybe.

But, what better time
for a miracle than Christmas.

Isn't that what Christmas
is really about?

Presents, presents, presents!

I got to find the right
present for Arnold.

Hmm, a new kite maybe?
Nah, too cheap.

Or a unicycle?

Nah, not flashy enough.

Whatever I get him
has got to be big.

Really big.
I know!

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
A deluxe -piece train set,

complete with autumn foliage,
collapsible bridge,

and one-legged Bob,
the affable railroad tramp.

No, too juvenile.

Arnold's too mature for that.

Think, Helga, think.

What would Arnold
want for Christmas.

Here it is.
Here, what is?

I've been on the phone
all morning,

calling every government
agency in town,

and everything
led me to this place.

Federal Office of Information?

Somewhere in this building
is the information we need

to find Mr. Hyunh's daughter.
All we got to do is get it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(LAUGHTER)

I think we're
too late, Arnold.

It's already Christmas
for these guys.

Come on.
There must be somebody
still working here.

Come on.

(PRINTER WHIRRING)

Excuse me, Mr. Bailey?

What are you two kids
doing here?

Nobody's allowed in here.
Can't you see I'm busy?

We're looking for a missing
person named Mai Hyunh.

We think she lives
somewhere in the city.

So what do you want
me to do about it?

Uh, we thought
you could find her for us.

Please?

She was separated
from her father by a w*r.

He's a really good guy.
He's a friend of mine.

I want to bring them
together for Christmas.

And what a perfect
Christmas present,

don't you think,
Mr. Bailey?

Look, kid, your story
has touched me, deeply.

But to find your Mai Hyunh
would be a huge job.

It would take hours,
maybe even days!

I can't do it
at a time like this.

Now go on.

There's a Christmas
party down the hall.

Go. Have some eggnog.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Yeah.

Oh, hi, dear.

No, no. I didn't
do the Christmas
shopping yet.

What do you expect?
I got a ton of work here!

Yes, yes, I got
the list right here.

Yes, I know
it's Christmas Eve.

(SIGH) Okay, okay. Look,
I'll get it done somehow.

I love you too, dear, bye.

(GRUMBLES)

What? You still here?

I was just wondering,

what if Gerald and me
did your Christmas
shopping for you.

Huh?

What? I'm gonna trust you kids
with my Christmas shopping?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Right, I'm gonna give
bucks to a couple
of nine-year-old kids.

How else are you
gonna get it done on time?

Mister, I'd do anything

to get Mr. Hyunh
and his daughter together.

I'll do your shopping.
You can trust me.

I'll come back,
no matter what.

Okay, you got
yourself a deal.

I hate shopping anyway.

Plus, I'm desperate.

Be back here by closing time
with the stuff on the list.

And I mean,
all the stuff.

And then I'll try running
a search on your Mai Hyunh.

Well, what are you
waiting for?

It's the last shopping day
before Christmas.

Shoo! (SIGHS AND GRUMBLES)

Great, now all we have to do
is buy this stuff,

and Mr. Bailey will find Mai

and Mr. Hyunh will have
the best Christmas ever.

This is it,

the prefect flashy present
to impress Arnold, at last.

That sure is a keen
skateboard, Helga.

I should know, on account
Arnold got one just like it.

His is barefoot too.

(GROANS)

Bye, Helga.

Hope your Christmas
doesn't bite.

Only one more item, Gerald.

Official Nancy Spumoni
snowboots.

I have found it.

The Frozen Tundra
Death Warrior .

The jewel and crown
of video games.

Flashy, expensive,

perfect for my beloved.
(SIGHS)

Arnold will be overwhelmed.

On Christmas morn,
he will unwrap my gift,

his little heart
will fill with joy,

his little eyes will
find the attached tag,

"To Arnold, from Helga."

And his uniquely
football-shaped head

will fill with
thoughts about me,

Helga Pataki.

And perhaps, then,
those same thoughts

will lead him to feel
the same admiration

and, dare I say it,
love for me.

That I have so long
and secretly
harbored for him.

(SIGHS)

This truly must be
the meaning of Christmas.

(SNIFFLES)

(GASPS)

Oh, uh. Hi, Helga.

So, football-head
and tall-hair boy.

Little last minute
Christmas shopping, I see.

Yeah, what are you getting?

Hmm, Frozen Tundra
Death Warrior .

That's right.
I guess if somebody
got a present like that,

they'd be pretty impressed
by whoever gave it to 'em.

Don't you think?

Well, I don't know, Helga.

Basically, it's kind of
an expensive flashy gift

that isn't really personal,

and doesn't necessarily
express any real feeling

or understanding of the person
who you might be giving it to.

No offense, Helga.
Gerald, we better get going.

Merry Christmas, Helga.
Argh!

"Nancy Spumoni snowboots"?

Excuse me, sir.
Yes?

I need a pair of
Nancy Spumoni
snowboots.

Could you wait just a minute?
Sure.

See, this is gonna be easy.

Go ahead, kid,
tell us what you want.

A pair of Nancy
Spumoni snowboots.

(ALL LAUGHING)

I don't get it.
What's so funny?

We've been sold out
of those boots for a month.

But, in all seriousness,

if you want to put
your name on a waiting list,

I could get you
a pair of by,

oh, say, the th of July?

(ALL LAUGHING)

th of July.

There's got to be a pair
of Nancy Spumoni
snowboots out there somewhere.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

(BELL TOLLING)

GERALD: Oh, no. The government
office is gonna close.

We're out of time.

Come on, Arnold.
Let's just go back
and tell the guy,

"We just can't
find the boots."

(SIGHS)

I can't believe
there isn't one pair

of Nancy Spumoni snowboots
left in this whole city.

BAILEY: No snowboots?

Look, kid, we made a deal.

You get everything
on the list

and then I find
your missing person.

But we tried.
We looked everywhere.

We must have looked in
over a shoe stores.

Listen, boys,

my wife, specifically,
told me to get

Nancy Spumoni snowboots
for our daughter.

I gotta have those snowboots!
No snowboots, no deal!

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

(DOOR CLOSES)
Yeah. Okay, look...

I just can't believe
after all this,

we blew it, Gerald,

All I had to do
was bring a pair

of Nancy Spumoni snowboots

to Mr. Bailey at that crazy
Federal Office of Information,

and he'd find
Mr. Hyunh's daughter.

But it's
no snowboots, no deal.

(SIGHS) Well,

thanks for sticking with me
like a true friend, Gerald.

I needed a miracle, I guess.
Just couldn't get one.

Hey, Arnold,
you did all right, man.

You try harder
than anyone else I know.

All for Mr. Hyunh,

a guy who's alone
in this country.

The stuff you did
is more important
than a bunch of presents.

It's more important
than some dumb snowboots.

What you did, well,

that's what Christmas
is all about, Arnold.

(BUS APPROACHING)
Thanks, Gerald,

Just wish I could've put
Mr. Hyunh and his daughter
together for Christmas.

(ALL SINGING)
♪ Oh, what fun

♪ It is to ride

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

(BOTH LAUGHING)

BIG BOB: Oh, give me
another eggnog.

MIRIAM: Helga,

where have you been all day?

Out, Miriam.
MIRIAM: Honey,
you look depressed.

Why don't you open
one of your presents now?

MIRIAM: Merry X-mas!

Oh, my gosh! Nancy
Spumoni signature snowboots.

Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!

I stood in line for hours

to get these, Helga,

I swear they must be
the last pair

in the city.
Wow!

Thanks, Mom. I wanted
these more than anything,

anything in the whole
wide world.

I gotta try 'em out.

(VOICE ECHOING)

(VOICE ECHOING)

Oh, criminy.

Another moral dilemma.

(SIGHS) Okay.

On the one hand, I got
what I wanted for Christmas.

I'm happy and that's really
all that matters, right?

But, on the other hand,
I finally discovered

the one perfect thing
Arnold wants for Christmas.

And through a truly
bizarre quirk of fate,

it's the same snowboots.

And I could give them up
and give Arnold what he wants.

But, then, I wouldn't
have anything.

And these snowboots
are really boss.

Oh, what's
the right thing to do?

(HELICOPTER HOVERING)

Here they are, pal, one pair
of Nancy Spumoni snowboots.

Now, turn those
lights back on.

We've got a missing
person to locate.

Are you kidding?
I'm going home.

It's Christmas Eve
for crying out loud.

Can't you see?
It's not about snowboots.

It's not about flashy
expensive presents

or getting yours before
the other guy get's his.

It's about showing people
you really care about 'em.

And most of all,

it's about a funny little,
football-headed kid

with a good heart
but no sense of reality,

whose entire world
view is at stake.

Look, kid, I appreciate
your little holiday
speech and all that,

but it's late,
and I'm going home now.

For pity's sake,
are you that cold?

Look into your heart,
and we've got a choice here.

Either you and I
work all night

to find a certain
lost daughter,

or you can leave now.

But if you leave now,

that little
football-headed kid

will never believe
in miracles again.

(CHILDREN CHATTERING
AND LAUGHING)

(LAUGHTER)

Merry Christmas, man.
Merry Christmas, Gerald.

GRANDPA: All right,
this one's for Oskar.

OSKAR: (LAUGHS)
I'm so excited.

I'm going to open
my Christmas present now.

Everybody, look.
What can it be?

Coal?

It looks like a bag of coal.

Who would give me a bag
of coal on Christmas?

Wasn't me.

Well, I guess
that's everybody.

Merry Christmas!

Hey, whoa, whoa,
wait a minute.
What about Mr. Hyunh.

He didn't get a present.

Well, that's right.

There should be a present
for Mr. Hyunh here somewhere?

That's funny.

There's nothing
here for Mr. Hyunh.

It's all right.

I don't need a present.
It's nothing.

Wait.

I've something to tell you.

(DOOR BELL RINGING)

Oh, now who could that be?

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Lousy yuletide pranksters.

(CLOCK TICKING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

MAI: Ba.

Father.

Mai?

I can't believe it.

Mai,

is it really you?

Look at you.

Everyone,

this is Mai, my daughter.

Hello, everyone.

Merry Christmas, Mr. Hyunh.

Mai... (SPEAKS VIETNAMESE)

Well, I guess Mr. Hyunh
got his present after all.

I thought she was
a yuletide prankster.

Well, I guess,
miracles can happen
after all.

Yeah, but how
did it happen, Gerald?

I mean, it doesn't
make sense.

Don't try to make
sense out of it, Arnold.

A miracle's a miracle,

and that's all there's to it.

Maybe you got
a Christmas angel

looking out for you
or something.

A Christmas angel?
Yeah, maybe.

(WHISPERS)
Merry Christmas, Arnold.

(MUSIC PLAYING)