05x01 - Vacation

[bunniefuu]

[ Snoring]

[ Gasps]

[ Kids laughing]

[ Birds chirping]

[ Chuckles, grunts]

[ Grunts]

[ Yells]

[ Splat]

Uh-uh-uh.

[ Humming]

Careful, tommy.

Daddy's concrete path
is still wet.

Phil, lil... No!

[ Gasps]

You're disturbing
the, uh... The, the, uh...

D-delicate balance
of geographical forces.

Honestly, stu,
it's a barbeque

Not the great wall of china.

Ah, that's where you're
wrong, honorable wife.

It's also a meandering
concrete path

As pleasing to the eye
as it is functional.

It's all here in
zen and the art of barbeque.

Hm-mmm-mmm.

Hey, tommy,
why won't your dad

Let us play
with his blocks?

Yeah, he's not
a very good sharer.

They're grown-up blocks.

I think he's building a fort.

He's going to have a hard time
fitting through that door.

Don't you babies know anything?

It's a barba-cube!

Grownups love to make barba-cube
food when summer comes.

Since I'm all growed up

I'mgoing
to make barba-cube
for you babies.

I want
a cheeseburger!

Yeah, with chocolate!

You'll get what I make,
and like it!

All babies get
is barba-cube yucky carrots

Or barba-cube yucky peas.

All:
yuck!

What'll it be, baldie?

Um... I can't decide.

Why? Because it all
sounds so good?

No, because
your barba-cube is gone.

[ All gasp]

Hey, that's mine!

Spike, come back!

[ Whimpering]

Spike!

[ Grunting]

[ Panting]

Why would spike
want a barba-cube?

Maybe somebody broked
his kitchen.

Dogs don't got
kitchens, phillip.

I guess that's why
his house is so small.

Stu, your brother is here
to pick up angelica.

Hey, drew.

Looks like a lot of work
for a barbeque.

It's not just
a barbeque.

It's the perfect place
to center yourself

To become... One with your food.

It's the
perfect place...

To walk your dog!
[ Laughs]

[ Gasps]
spike!

[ Both laughing]

[ Grunting]

Angelica, what are you doing
in that bucket?

Um, uh, oh, it's spike's fault!

H-he stole my barba-cube

Then he ran down
the driveway...

We'll be late
for your piano lessons.

[ Spike barks]

Look,
guys!

Look
at spike!

[ Panting]

[ All laughing]

Wow, he ate those
hot dogs fast!

[ Sniffing]

[ Giggling]

Looks like
he's still hungry.

[ Grunting]

Spike!

Spike?

Spike sure is
acting funny.

[ Gasps]

Maybe it's not spike.

Maybe it's a robotspike!

It's not like spike.

Maybe there's someone
in the bushes

Making spike do weird stuff!

Like who?

We're all here!

[ Gasps]

Maybe it's a aliem
from outside space!

Aw, yeah!

I bet a aliem
with a big blue head

And a bazillion eyes

Is making spike do stuff
by emote control

Like in reptar
vs. The aliems.

Why would an aliem
want my clothes?

Maybe he's from
that planet
on your shirt...

[ Swallows]

...and he's
homesick.

Uh... I don't care!

He can't have my dog.

We're going into those bushes
and find that aliem!

We are?

Don't you want
your shirt?

Wh... Did, did I say
I wanted my shirt?

I don't want my shirt.

Come on,
don't be scared.

It's one little aliem

And we're four...
Um... Babies.

[ Giggling]

[ Humming]

Told you he wouldn't
fit in there.

Tommy:
come on!

[ All gasp]

Okay, we looked-- no aliems.

Let's go.

Maybe the aliems took spike back
to outside space!

Maybe they
went in... There.

It's, it's...
It's awful dark in there--

Scary and stinky
and dark.

You already said dark.

Well, I hate dark!

[ Gasps]

All:
ahh!

[ Train whistle toots]

[ Quiet skittering]

[ Gasps]

Um, um, um...

What is it,
chuckie?

[ Stuttering]:
th-there's a gigantic
baby-eating spider!

No, chuckie,
don't be scared.

It's just
a itsy-bitsy spider.

Like in the song!

Yeah!

It's not going
to eat you.

Not if I
eat it first.

Look, it's spike!

[ Panting]

[ All gasp]

Tommy:
oh, no!

It's the aliem!

And it's coming this way!

[ All screaming]

[ Grunts]

[ All grunting and panting]

Where's tommy?

[ Sobbing]:
he was caught by the aliem!

[ Tommy giggling]

Huh?

Meow, meow, meow, meow!

[ Kitten meowing]

[ Giggling]

Hey, those
aren't aliems.

They're kitties!

Where'd they come from?

Maybe they're
spike's babies!

But spike's not a kitty.

Ora mommy.

Both:
hmm.

[ Meowing]

Tommy:
hey, spike took
angelica's barba-cube

And made a house
for the kitties!

Hey, look,
my shirt!

[ Purring and meowing]

Oh... You can
have it.

Look, the hot dogs!

Tommy:
hot dogs are too big
for kitties, spike.

They need
baby food.

Like yucky
carrots?

And yucky
peas?

No, like milk!

Spike, you tried.

Now it's up to us.

We got to get
those kitties some milk!

Good, good, good,
smooth... Okay, okay.

Stu, honey?

Are you sure you didn't
see the sausage links?

Deed, I can't talk
about sausages now.

I've, I've the path.

I-it needs to be perfect!

Smooth and... And perfect.

And someone
keeps stepping in it.

So I take it
we're not going to eat today.

There. Perfect.

And this time it's
going to stay perfect.

[ Barking]

[ Gasps]

Didi!

Stu, I don't think
it helps to yell.

Okay, take the kids inside
while I tie up spike

And smooth out my path
one last time.

Chuckie, what happened
to your shirt?

If he's as hungry as I am,
he probably ate it!

[ Door squeaks]

[ Humming]

[ Squeaking]

Okay, guys.

Wish me luck.

Didi, look out!

Tommy at : !

Oopsie.

Oh.

Come on, lillian.

[ Both panting]

[ Humming]

[ Panting]

Pop!

[ Gasps]

Grandpa:
ho-ho, ho, there!

Whippersnappers!

[ Panting]

What's gotten
into you guys?

Hmm...

Oh, stu, look.

What is it, deed?

Looks like spike
made a hole in the wall.

Spike!

Ah, don't worry about it,
big fella.

I'll get that patched right up.

Go on, give me a boost.

[ All grunting]

[ Whines]

[ Shouting, panting]

[ All gasp]

Stu:
oh, no, you don't.

Aw!

If tommy can't do it,
nobody can.

Nobody's going
to save those kitties!

[ Crying]

[ Both crying]

[ Crying]

Deed, would you put tommy
back in the playpen?

[ All babies crying]

All right,
shh, shh, shh, shh.

I wonder

What's got 'em so upset?

[ Crying]

[ Hammering]

[ Whining]

Oh!

[ Giggling]

No, no...

[ Tommy giggling]

Oh.

Tommy!

Honestly!

[ Grunting]

[ Barking]

[ Gasps]

Spike! Sit!

No!

Oh!

Oh, no! Spike!

[ Whimpering]

[ Meowing and purring]

[ Gasps]

Didi, look!

Kittens!

So... That's what this
was all about.

[ Meowing]

Hello.

You're so darling.

Stu:
that's my spike.

[ Giggles]

Perfect.

[ Meowing]

[ Children laughing
and giggling]

Didi:
you play with phil and lil

And pretty soon we'll all go to
aunt charlotte's company picnic.

Won't that be fun?

[ All laughing]

Betty:
these ought to be

Enough for the egg toss.

Ugh, every year
I say "never again"

And then somehow
I wind up

Having another company picnic.

Why do I do this to myself?

Chaz and chuckie are here.

Now, when lucy and susie show up

I think we're
ready to go.

Sorry we're late,
folks.

Chuckie's got
some kind of rash.

Poor little guy's
exhausted.

He was up half the night
scratching.

Wow, chuckie

Sure is
itching a lot.

Lil:
let's go see.

Phil:
yeah!

All right, let's not panic.

I'm sure the answer
is right here in lipschitz.

Now, let's see.

Itching... Itching...

Ah, here it is.

"Itching.
See rashes."

Hey, chuckie.

I like your spots.

I don't.

They're real itchy.

Yuck, you got them on your hands

And on your arms
and on your neck...

That's not the only place
I got 'em.

Where else are they, chuckie?

Everywhere.

Wow.

Can I see?

No!

But you can
scratch my back.

[ All giggling]

[ Sighs with relief]

Ah, here it is.

"Rashes.
Rashes, see hives."

Well, so he got himself

A case of the chicken pox.

All:
chicken pox?!

Didi:
oh, my goodness!

How did the babies get in here?

Good, now they can all get it
at once

And be done with it.

Oh, I don't know, betty.

Exposing our babies
to chicken pox?

I'm going to call
dr. Lipschitz first.

Come here, tommy.

All right, deed,
but when I was little

My ma exposed us
to everything.

Hey, what about
my poor chuckie?

Chicken pox?

Sounds like the perfect excuse

To skip the company picnic.

All right, chuckie,
just hold still.

I know chicken pox
aren't any fun

But this will
make it better.

That's it.

Now, try to sleep.

I'm sorry, chuckie.

I hate to do this

But I got to keep you
from scratching.

[ Yawning]

[ Humming]

Didi:
okay, kids,
you play out here.

Chuckie has to stay inside

Because he has the chicken pox.

Betty:
we had a regular
disease of the week...

What's a chicken pops?

Maybe it's
a game.

Or maybe it's a cereal.

Maybe.

But why can't chuckie

Bring his chicken pops outside?

You babies have
proved again

That you don't know anything!

Chicken pops are what turns

Little kids
into chickens.

That's why
chuckie

Has to stay inside.

The grown-ups are afraid

That when chuckie
turns into a chicken

He'll get eaten by a cat.

You're making that up, angelica.

Okay, but don't come
crying to me

When chuckie's a chicken.

Come on, guys

Let's go see
for ourselves.

[ Snoring]

[ Whimpering sleepily]

All:
wow!

Oh, this is too good
to be true.

Doesn't happen
on many kids

But when it does...

[ Sighs]
it's so sad.

Maybe chuckie isturning
into a chicken.

Just because chuckie
growed wings

Doesn't mean he's turning
into a chicken.

Yeah. He could be turning
into a turkey.

Maybe next time I tell you
someone's turning into a chicken

You'll believe me.

Come on, you guys.

We got to help chuckie.

You know I want
to be there

But I'm needed
here.

Just go ahead
and start

Bobbing for apples
without us.

Man:
dr. Lipschitz'
baby talk hotline.

[ Grunting]

Now, you guys, I know chuckie.

I play with chuckie.

And if chuckie's turning
into a chicken

He's going to be really ascared.

So whatever you do,
don't say anything to upset him.

Right.right.

Hey, guys.hi, cluckie.

Oh... I mean, chuckie.

Hmm...

What's new, chuckie?

Well, I'm all itchy

And I got these things
on my arms.

You mean wings?

Huh?

We bringed you a snack.

Ooh, that's crunchy.

What is that?

Bird food, chuckie.

Do you like it?

Bird food?!

[ Spitting] blech!

Hey, what's going on, you guys?

First you call me "cluckie"

And then you say I got wings

And then you bring me
bird food to eat.

Uh-oh.
He doesn't know.

Maybe I don't want to know.

Chuckie, I just
want you to know

I'll always
play with you

And even share my toys.

Now I know
I don't want to know.

Try to be brave, chuckie.

Maybe you didn't notice

But you're covered in feathers
and you got wings.

And you just ate bird food
out of my hand.

And you're turning
into a chicken.

A chicken?!

Oh, great!

That's just great!

It all makes sense now.

After a lifetime
of acting like a chicken

I'm finally turning into one.

Don't say that,
chuckie.

You're one of the bravest kids
I know.

He is?he is?

Sure he is.

Remember the time when...

Um...

And, um...

Um... There was
the other time that, um...

Uh...

See, tommy?

You can't even think of one time

When I was brave.

Well, i...

Uh...

Well, I can.

No, wait, that was reptar.

All right, that's it!

If I'm turning into a chicken

Then from now on I'm going
to be a brave chicken

Not a chicken chicken.

Attaboy, chuckie.

To the back yard.

That's barn yard
to us chickens.

[ Clucks]

If you're going to be a chicken

The first thing you have to do
is learn how to eat worms.

[ Screams]

Mine.

Mine!

I don't know, tommy.

I don't think I'm ready
for real worms just yet.

[ Both yelling]

[ Clucking]

Flap harder, chuckie,
flap harder!

[ Clucking]

[ Grunts]

[ Groans]

Not bad for a first try.

Make sure the translator

Explains everything
to mr. Yamaguchi.

I don't want him sticking
his head in the coleslaw.

Easy, chuckie.

A little bit at a time.

Step, flap, cluck.

Step, flap, cluck.

That's it.

Step, flap, [ clucks].

Step, flap, [ clucks].

Hey, I think
I'm starting to get it.

[ Clucking]

Hey, you guys.

I'm getting itchy.

Yeah, me too.

Cut it out,
you're making meitch.

Hey, that's how
it started with me.

First I got all itchy

And then I started getting
little red bumps.

The next thing
I knew

I was turning
into a chicken.

Hey, you guys are all
turning into chickens, too.

Isn't it great?

All:
ahh! Chicken pops!

Hey, why are you crying?

Now we can all
be chickens together.

[ Clucks]

I don't want to be a chicken!

Don't worry, lil.

Being a chicken's not so bad.

Just look at me.
[ Clucking]

Well, my little chickadees.

I hear we're having barba-cube
at the picnic.

I bet you babies...
I mean, chickens

Will be delicious.

Stop it, angelica!

The grown-ups
would never eat us

Even if we are chickens.

[ Clucking]

So what if
we're chickens?

We'll all be
chickens together

And we'll build nests
and lay eggs

And eat
bird food

And do all those
other things

That chickens do

Because we're chickens
and we're proud!

[ Screaming][ clucking]

[ Angelica
falls]

You chickens are crazy!

Boy, chuckie

You're the bravest chicken
I ever sawed.

I am?

Yeah, you was
even braver

Than the time you...

Oh, no, wait, that
was reptar, too.

Man:
please, please,
please!

Oh, all right,
I'm on my way.

Angelica, get in the car.

We're going
to the picnic.

Sorry we're late.

I was just
at the hospital

Finishing a few
heart-lung transplants.

Oh, lucy, thank goodness
you're here.

Dr. Carmichael,
can you look at chuckie?

He's got the chicken pox.

Oh, sure. It's going around.

So, where's the patient?

He's right in here.

[ All gasp]

[ Children clucking]

Oh, no!

How did chuckie
get out there?

Oh, they're better off
getting it now.

It's a lot worse in adults.

Especially for men.

Hey, pop, I had

The chicken pox already?

'Course you did.

Or maybe that was drew.

Drew? Pop, wait!

So we're not turning
into chickens?

Not even a little?

No, silly.

Chicken pox is just something

That makes you itchy
for a few days.

Oh.

Hey, lil!

We're not turning
into chickens!

[ Giggling]

You know what, tommy?

I'm kind of sorry we're
not turning into chickens.

How come?

'Cause, I was braver
as a chicken

Than I ever was as a kid.

That's okay, chuckie.

I'll always think of you
as a chicken.

[ Giggles]

Thanks, tommy.

Stupid babies.

They'll believe anything.

Hey, what's this?

[ Angelica screams]

I'm turning into a chicken!