07x06 - Big Showdown/Doctor Susie

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Rugrats". Aired: August 11, 1991 - August 1, 2004.*
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`Rugrats' reveals the world from a baby's point of view where it's bigger, more mysterious and uncontrollable.
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07x06 - Big Showdown/Doctor Susie

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Snoring]

[ Gasps]

[ Kids laughing]

[ Rain falling...]

[ Thunderclap]

[ Whirring and clanking...]

People of earth,
there is no use resisting.

Nothing can stop us
from taking over your planet.

[ Footsteps thumping]

[ Roaring]

[ Cheering]

Reptar,
you escaped my trap!

Please don't eat me, reptar.

I promise I'll leave earth now
and never return.

[ Roaring...]

Stu?

Oh... Hey, deed.

Stu, why are the babies
up so late?

You know it's better if they
follow a regular sleep schedule.

[ Whimpering]

[ Crying...]

There, there, mommy's here now.

He's frightened, stu--
probably by that scary
reptar video.

But tommy's sleeping
like a baby.

Something else
must have scared dil.

You mean
something like this?

Or like that?

Or these?

Or that?

Maybe it was this.

[ Squeaking]

Seriously, stu

Maybe we need to think

About how much we're
exposing the kids to reptar.

I'm calling
the lipschitz hotline.

[ Ringing]

- -Lipschitz.

Hi, I'm calling about
my children's overexposure

To reptar the dinosaur.

Goober's your answer.

Goober?

Goober the gopher.

He's kind, he's gentle,
he's hypoallergenic.

Goober's the only toy
which carries the official
lipschitz seal of approval.

He sounds perfect!

Thank you so much.

Tommy:
after reptar escaped
from the secret cave

He b*at the evil aliem
and saved the earth.

Didn't he, dilly?

[ Babbling]

How did reptar
b*at the aliem, tommy?

Did he squish him?

Did he chop him?

I'll show you.

I'll be reptar.

Chuckie, you be the evil aliem.

Both:
I want to be reptar!

Okay, we'll all be reptar,
except chuckie.

Dil, you be the, um,
giant space bunch.

[ Babbling]

Come on, reptars!

[ Growling]

Can't we pick dampylions
instead?

Nope. Get him!

[ All growling...]

[ Screams]

Didi:
yoo-hoo, kids.

Whew, saved by a grownup.

Have I got a big surprise
for you.

[ Kids gasp]

Didi:
say hello to goober the gopher,
everyone.

Isn't he wonderful?

Here's a new friend
for you, dil.

Let's go, stu.

The goober guide says
they need time alone
to assimilate.

Where's reptar?

What's this goober guy
doing here?

I bet he sent reptar away.

You're right, lil.

We gots to find him.

[ Dil cooing]

Hi, there, goober.

He's not in here, tommy.

But I found this!

Lil:
I want some!

[ Gasps]

Reptar.

Both:
the secret cave!

[ Grunting]

Goober must have
locked reptar in here.

Hey, tommy,
want to meet goober?

He's really nice.

If he's so nice,
how come he put reptar
in the secret cave

Just like
that evil aliem did?

Goober wouldn't do that, tommy.

I mean, it must have been
someone else.

I know,
maybe the aliem came back.

But if the aliem came back

He'd have taken over earth
by now.

It had to be goober.

No, tommy.

Goober could never hurt
no one.

Watch this.

I love you.

Can I have a hug?

See? Goober's not scary
like reptar.

Fact...

I think we should
all play with goober
from now on.

[ All gasp]

You don't want to play
with reptar?

Well, you gots to admit,
reptar never hugs.

He only wants to
eat me up.

[ Dil babbling]

[ Giggling]

Well, I don't care
what chuckie says

Goober did lock reptar
in the secret cave.

Come on, let's play
reptar races the horsies.

Well, we picked all
the dampylions, goober.

You want to go race
reptar and the horsies?

You're swell!

Can I have a hug?

Gee, goober,
you sure like hugs.

Don't you do
anything else?

You make me smile.

Can I have a hug?

Goo... Goo.

Can I have a hug?

Dil:
tappy... Tappy.

Goo.

Can I have a hug?

[ Laughing...]

This sure is fun, guys.

You're right, goober.

[ Loudly]:
we are having
as much better time

Than tommy and reptar.

[ All gasp]

[ Loudly]:
we're the ones having
all the fun, right, reptar?

Chuckie and goober are
just sitting around there
doing nothing.

Yeah, well...
I'd rather do nothing

With you,goober,
than do anything with reptar.

I like you best!

[ Gasps]

You like goober best?

Oh, dear.

- -Lipschitz.

Yes, hello.

I'm calling because
one of my children

Doesn't seem to be enjoying
goober the gopher.

Impossible. Everybody
loves goober.

Maybe I need to remove every
trace of reptar from my home?

Too extreme. Goober's credo
is love and let love.

Take your child to the super
toy house grand opening today.

Goober's making an appearance.

Love will find a way.

I don't know, why you
so hot on this goober guy?

He's just
a big orange marshmallow.

He's kind, he's sweet,
he's a good influence.

Reptar's just too intense.

I'd take reptar any day.

He's at the top
of the food chain.

You always know where you stand
with predators.

Both:
reptar!

[ Yelling happily]

All right, hold
your dinosaurs, kids.

Catch you later, deed.

[ Sighs happily]

Look, kids, there's goober.

No, no, no, no, no,
we're going to see
goober, honey.

He's dil's friend,
he's chuckie's friend

And he wants to be
your friend, too.

Hugs, hugs, hugs.

Hugs, hugs, hugs.
Hi, little fella.

Here's something
that'll put a smile
on your face.

[ Gasps]

[ Both grunting]

[ Crying]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I've never seen him
like this before.

Really.

Yeah, right.

I need a break.

Hey, you! Give me back
my pimento loaf

Or I'll report you
to the union.

Hey, I'll make you
a deal.

I'll give you
this sandwich if you

"Give me a hug."

That does it! Give me that,
you overgrown lizard.

Come and get it, fuzzball.

[ Grunting]

Oh, my goodness!

Stop!

Stop it!

[ Gasps]

Finally,
some excitement!

[ Gasps]

Tommy's up there all alone!

Someone's got to go get him.

[ Grunting, twins laughing]

Something tells me
it's going to be me.

Can i... Hug... [ Thunk]
can i... Hug... [ Thunk]

Chuckie?

Yeah, tommy?

Oh, I'm sorry
I was mad before.

You can like goober
better than reptar
if you want.

Oh, I'm sorry, too,
tommy.

Goober's not as much fun
as I thought he was.

Hey, hey, hey, there,
furball, no biting!

He's not as nice
as I thought he was, either.

Both:
whoa!

Tommy! Chuckie!

[ Yelling...]

[ Cheering...]

[ Cheering continues]

Ah, he was just lucky.

I could have saved those kids,
too, you know.

[ Booing]

Oh, thank you,
mr. Reptar.

Thank you.

Here you go.

Mr. Reptar,
I wonder if you'd
care to share

Your theories
on child development.

Reptar talked to you.

Can I hold
your reptar dolly, tommy?

Sure, lil.

I want to hold reptar,
lillian.

Too bad, philip.

[ Arguing..]

Goo...

Uh-oh, tommy.

Dil still likes
goober.

That's okay, chuckie.

Goober's not so bad.

I love you.

Can I have a hug?

[ Wind blowing...]

[ Mooing...]

[ Clattering]

Oh, no!

Mrs. Moo-moo!

Don't worry, honey.

Mrs. Moo-moo's
going to be okay.

Wow.

I thought you were just
a people doctor, mommy.

It's the same no matter
what you're fixing.

You just have to know
what goes where

What tool to use

And how to give the patient

Tender loving care.

And don't forget the lollipop.

Will you teach me
to be a doctor, too?

Of course.

We'll start
with the hippocratic oath.

[ Babbling]

[ Gasps]

Aah! Happy harry!

I don't think
he's very happy now.

That's it.

That is the final saw.

I didn't mind
when dil chewed up our blocks.

Or when he throwed
our clay-doh on the ceiling.

Or even when he broke
mr. Clown--

I kind of liked that.

But not happy harry.

He was so happy.

Gee, it's like
a horror movie in here,
only with toys.

Lipschitz says toy breaking
is an important way

For an infant to test the
boundaries of physical force.

Oh, that's lucy.

We're having coffee.

Is the kitchen sink fixed yet?

It better be.

The plumber just left...
In his limo.

Don't worry, guys.

Now we got lots of toys
to play with.

Like uh... Mr. Leg, see?

Mr. Leg can do
lots of stuff.

Like, uh... Walk.

And, uh, jump.

And uh, huh...

I guess that's it.

Quick, which toy's
the brokenest?

Jelly bear.

Where is he?

Over there...

And over there...

And over there.

Huh?
What's susie doing?

She's fixing mr. Bear.

All fixed.

[ Gasps]

Maybe you'd better stay
in the hospital for a while.

But don't worry.

You're going to have
a lot of company.

Wow.

Are you a doctor now, susie?

I think so.

My mommy read me

The hippopotamus oath
and everything.

I'm a toyologist.

Angelica:
hey, babies!

Hello, susie.

Oh, it's dr.susie now,
angelica.

Yeah, she talked
to a hippomopotamus.

And it taughted her
how to fix toys.

Look, angelica.

Susie even fixed
spike's toys.

Isn't she wonderful?

I'm just doing my job,
that's all.

Well, I'm going to need
a doctor soon

Because all of this
is making me sick.

Sorry, angelica.

Dr. Susie only doctors toys.

Yeah, she's a toyometrist.

Big deal. I've been fixing
you babies' toys for years.

Well, actually, angelica,
you've been breaking them.

Fixing, breaking--
what's the difference?

There's a big difference,
angelica.

All these toys
are like peoples to me.

Hey, I'm almost
out of glue.

I'll see
if my mom has some.

That's dr. Susie for you.

Always thinking
of the toys first.

Susie, susie, susie--

Is that all you babies
can talk about?

Come on, cynthia.

You call this plumbing?

This is taping.

Have you been to plumber school?

Yes, there is
such a thing.

You'll never plumb
in this town again.

Dr. Susie
will never doctor
in this town again.

Hey, babies!

There's a big old rainbow
outside

With a leprechaun at the end
of it and a huge pot of gold!

[ Groans] there's a bunch of
mud and worms out there, too.

Wow!

Okay, let's go.

I don't see
any mud orworms.

Nothing good here, either.

Let's go back in and play.

[ All gasp]

What happened
to happy harry?

And jack's out of his box.

Dr. Susie, look!

What happened
to these patients?

They were just fine

And then we went
outside looking for
mud and leprechauns

And when we came back

They was...
It all happened so fast.

Spill it, finster.

They was broken into little bits

Because your precious dr. Susie
didn't fix them right.

That's not true.

Oh, no... Dil must have
broke them all over again.

Nah, he was asleep
when I was break...
I mean, uh...

[ Yawning and babbling]

See? He's just waking up now.

You was here when we left,
angelica.

How do we know
youdidn't break them?

I'm shocked at you,
chuckie.

I would never do
something like that.

Is it my fault that dr. Susie
isn't a real doctor?

I am, too, angelica.

Oh, really?

Well, did you go
to doctor school?

Well, no, but i...

But ha! Everybody knows
you can't be a doctor

Unless you go to doctor school.

Give me
that doctor kit.

You'll never doctor
in this town again!

[ Gasps]

[ Babbling]

I'm sorry, you guys.

It's okay, susie.

We played with our toys
like this afore

And we can do it again.

Come on, guys,
let's play ball!

Everything okay
in here?

Jelly bear's broken, mommy.

Can you save him?

I'll do my best.

Let's see.

Sink still leaking, stu?

Just a little...
Whoa!

I have something at home

That'll fix it up
in no time.

I'll leave jelly bear
in your capable hands, doctor.

I'll be right back.

Any of you babies
seen cynthia?

[ Gasps]

[ Screams]

[ Crying...]

What's wrong,
sweetums?

Did someone upset you?

Aunt didi...
Dil wrecked cynthia!

Oh, I'm sure
he didn't mean to.

He's just testing the boundaries
of physical force.

Come on.

Mommy will make it all better
with some strained peas, mmm...

You've got to save cynthia!

Me? I thought
I wasn't a doctor...
'Member?

But... But that was before
dil broke cynthia.

You've got to fix her.

Tommy:
but angelica

You said susie didn't
fix our toys right.

Yeah, you did.

I heard you.

In my ears.

Oh, you dumb babies.

Ibroke those toys
after susie fixed them!

[ All gasp]

Well, you were all talking
about susie this and susie that

And I never thought
I'd need her to doctor...

Cynthia...

Susie:
I hope it's not
too late.

I'm going to need help.

Come on, junior doctors.

We have a toy to save.

Oh...

Uh, chuckie,
maybe you should

Keep angelica company
in the waiting room.

Let's begin.

Paste.

Paste.

Tissues.

Tissues.

Rats!

We don't have any rats.

No, rats,
the paste cap
fell off.

I need suction.

Sucking.

She's sticking
to the table.

Oh, no, she's cracking.

Spatula!

Spackula.

Susie:
stand back.

[ Grunting]

Where'd she go?

Here she is, dr. Susie.

Whoa, that was close.

We almost lost her.

What's taking so long?

Uh... Can I get you
something, angelica?

No.

The only thing I want
is cynthia.

Susie:
angelica...

Someone wants to see you.

Cynthia! You're all right!

[ Humming happily, kissing]

Thanks for all your help,
dr. Tommy

Nurse phil, nurse lil,
chuckie.

Thanks, susie.

You are a pretty good
doctor after all.

No problem, angelica.

This time.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Come on, cynthia.

You're apposed to get ice cream

After being in the hospital.

[ Humming]

Thanks for fixing the sink,
lucy.

Hey, do those universal joints
work on car transmissions?

There's a good boy, dilly.

Now you can play
with all your favorite toys.

[ Giggling...]

[ Gasping, yelling]

Glue... Rubber bands...
Paste... Now!

[ Siren wailing...]

Goober:
you're cute. Can I have a hug?
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